Self-esteem is very important internal characteristic a person who allows you to achieve your goals and become successful. A real assessment of your own capabilities allows you to quickly navigate life situation and accept right decisions. It begins to form already in childhood. Very great value has proper development self-esteem in up to school age. But the primary school period, which is associated with the formation of feelings, has a special role for personality development. self-esteem. How correctly the self-esteem of a junior schoolchild will be developed depends on the person’s success in adult life. And, of course, the school and parents should monitor self-esteem in adolescence, since during this period various fluctuations may arise in the child’s perception of himself.
The initial stage of developing self-esteem
The self-esteem of younger schoolchildren is built on the basis that they learn to understand their natural abilities and character traits that distinguish them from other children. Future achievements largely depend on the adequacy of self-perception.
The development of self-esteem in a primary school student depends on many factors. The formation of this internal quality is influenced by the following:
- Family relationships, in particular, play a role in the usefulness of the family, as well as those cultural values and in general the worldview that is cultivated between household members.
- The external environment in which the child is located, that is, it is very important with whom and how he communicates.
- Natural and acquired abilities.
A child’s self-esteem at primary school age is a very fragile internal quality. Children's self-esteem is influenced by many external factors, so it can change literally within a few days. That is why the development of self-esteem in primary school age requires adequate influence from parents, who must monitor the student’s communication with other people from the outside world. But on the other hand, due to the fact that the student’s self-esteem is flexible, it can be influenced in a timely and correct manner.
Diagnostics
To maintain self-esteem at a constant level, you need to know certain features of this internal quality. Diagnostic techniques allow you to recognize different degrees of deviations in the formation of self-esteem in children:
- When a child’s self-esteem is low, this manifests itself in his desire for frequent solitude. The student does not communicate with his peers, he is withdrawn and does not have much success in school or sports. Very often, low self-esteem in a child of primary school age manifests itself in the fact that he praises his classmates and strives to imitate one of them. When a girl has low self-esteem, she often considers herself not beautiful. manifest low self-esteem in children of primary school age and preschoolers, there may be stooping. In this way, the child strives to become less noticeable.
- Normal self-esteem of a schoolchild is manifested by reasonable, adequate behavior. For most children it is typical wide circle age-appropriate interests. As a rule, a student is a good student, has a sense of humor, is well-mannered, erudite, and is easy to talk to on any topic.
- Inflated self-esteem in a child is expressed in increased demands. Children with such a deviation very often loudly declare their own desires, regardless of the capabilities and opinions of loved ones. When a child has high self-esteem, he strives for leadership and considers all his actions to be genius and not subject to criticism.
Diagnosis of the self-esteem of primary schoolchildren and adolescents makes it possible to timely notice deviations in the formation internal qualities and make the necessary adjustments.
Correction methods
Very often there are questions related to what to do when problems arise related to the formation of an opinion about oneself among primary schoolchildren and adolescents. To help develop adequate self-esteem, psychology makes the following recommendations:
- You cannot compare your child with other children in terms of academic performance. This will lead to the fact that the self-esteem of schoolchildren younger age and preschoolers will be significantly lowered artificially.
- Don't overestimate your child. All requirements must be set in accordance with the student’s age and abilities. If this rule is violated, then a child of preschool age and primary school age will experience a decrease in self-esteem. This will be due to the fact that he will begin to engage in self-flagellation due to the fact that he cannot cope with the task.
- If the child has completed the assigned tasks, he must be praised. But this needs to be done in a neutral form, for example: “Well done! You did very well!” Competent praise will eliminate the risks of overestimating one’s opinion of oneself and will help ensure that self-esteem in preschoolers and young schoolchildren will be fixed at a specific point in time at the desired level. This means the baby will continue to develop in the right direction.
- When a child fails at something, it is necessary to explain how specific work is done and what causes his failures. Having realized what a mistake was made, the baby will not become upset and will not change his attitude towards himself.
- If a child does the wrong thing, then you should definitely give examples from life related to what wrong actions can lead to.
We must strive to communicate as much as possible in order to develop self-awareness and self-esteem in preschool age and school age, the child experienced harmonious developments. From communicating with loved ones, children very quickly draw the necessary conclusions for themselves, on the basis of which a correct assessment of themselves is formed.
Causes and dangers of low self-esteem
If you realize that your child has low self-esteem at primary school age, then you need to take immediate action. This is due to the fact that children who lack self-confidence always become objects of ridicule and bullying among their peers.
If no action is taken, then in the future an adult will face loneliness. He will not be able to make responsible decisions, and will always doubt everything, which will push people away from him. But the saddest thing is that against the backdrop of underestimation of oneself, which has its roots in childhood, addictions can develop that can completely destroy life.
The most common reasons for the formation low self-esteem in a child are associated with the following:
- With careless upbringing, when the child is given little attention and does not feel the sincere love of his parents. This leads to the fact that the baby withdraws into his own world, so his personal perception of himself is difficult to adjust in the future.
- With excessive criticism of the child. In order to achieve the desired results, parents often put unnecessary emotional pressure on their child. Sometimes they demand the impossible, which creates a complex for the child and involuntarily lowers his assessment of himself as a child. This develops insecurity and deprives a person of the ability to make responsible decisions independently in adulthood.
Increase self-esteem
Very often, the self-esteem of a teenager or primary school student decreases due to various external conditions. Therefore, the question of how to raise a child’s self-esteem is very relevant for many parents. It should be remembered that the self-esteem of a teenager and a child of another age period largely depends on the attitude of the closest people to him, that is, his parents. It doesn’t matter how old children are, they are formed by the example of the behavior of people from their close environment. And if it is not possible to form correct self-esteem in a child during childhood, then big problems may arise in the future.
There are basic psychological rules for parents who can increase their child’s self-esteem:
- It is necessary for your child to feel that you are proud of him and that any of his achievements gives you pleasure. This approach will ensure that the teenager’s self-esteem in the future will be more stable, as he will be confident in the support of his parents in any life situation.
- We need to find an activity for the student in which he can express himself to the fullest. If a teenager has expressed a desire to do something, then he must be supported in his endeavors.
- To increase a student’s self-esteem, become a real support for him; the teenager’s self-esteem will remain stable if he feels your protection.
- Teach your child to stand up own opinion and say “no” to adults if he can seriously argue for it.
Peculiarities of adolescents' opinion of themselves
Even if in preschool and primary school age the child’s opinion about himself was able to be fixed at a normal level, then in adolescents fluctuations may occur due to increased influence external factors. Features of self-esteem in adolescence and in adolescence are that the child has to assert himself in adulthood. As a result, any failures can result in a lack of self-confidence.
On the other hand, it is typical for any teenager to overestimate their own capabilities in case of success, especially if it was achieved easily. It is important to convey to the child that a reasonable, balanced approach is important in any activity. Any work must be done efficiently; only in this case can one develop self-confidence.
It is very important to develop responsibility during adolescence. This will help stabilize the child’s self-esteem. A teenager must learn to clearly understand that there is no need to please everyone. In this way, you can gradually develop the habit of feeling people, and, therefore, understanding them.
Supporting your child in any difficult life situation will help you avoid stress. And this is very important, since the child’s psyche is very unstable. Any surges can lead to unpredictable reactions. Every developing young individual has a natural insecurity, and this must be kept in mind.
Man is designed in such a way that he constantly evaluates himself. Whether we think about it consciously or allow the subconscious to do the work doesn't matter. Making mistakes, receiving criticism - this and much more can significantly affect our self-esteem. And what's even worse is this vicious circle, because if it is low, we make mistakes, and since we make them, our self-esteem drops.
Before you begin to form correct self-esteem, you need to diagnose yourself. If it is not there, then there is nothing to start from.
Three types of self-esteem
There are three types of self-esteem:
- understated
- normal
- overpriced
The purpose of this article is the formation of normal, correct self-esteem, because the other two types lead to serious psychological problems and also interfere. While high self-esteem leads to self-confidence and pride, low self-esteem leads to insecurity and inability to act. Let's take a closer look at both extremes.
Consequences and signs of low self-esteem:
- Pessimism
- Guilt
- Excessive self-criticism
- Sensitivity to criticism
- The desire to please other people in everything
- Indecisiveness
- Hostility as a defensive reaction
- Lack of self-confidence
With such a set it is extremely difficult to achieve success in life. A person with low self-esteem seems to live his life for others or is simply meaningless. Despite all the above signs, you can still equate low self-esteem with self-doubt.
Consequences and signs of high self-esteem:
- Confidence in one's own rightness, despite logical arguments
- Narcissism
- Self-confidence
- Selfishness
- Inability to forgive
- Desire for constant competition
- The presence of the pronoun “I” in almost every phrase
- Desire to talk more than listen
- Arrogance
- Pride
In this case, a person often does not want to admit the presence of inflated self-esteem. It is extremely difficult to do something about this, because the “patient” does not understand that he is “sick”. In the case of high self-esteem, you can equate it with self-confidence.
Inflated self-esteem is formed in childhood - either the only child in the family or a spoiled one. He receives a lot of affection and benefits simply for existing. Having entered the adult world, he continues to live by the same patterns. He demands attention and reverence for no reason, which can lead to serious discord both in the psyche and in the family and relationships with others.
As a result, we can derive quite simple patterns:
- Low self-esteem = lack of self-confidence
- High self-esteem = overconfidence
- Normal self-esteem = self-confidence
Lack of self-confidence can lead to the destruction of one’s life, while self-confidence can lead to the collapse of the lives of many people and even jeopardize the existence of the state (history knows such examples among leaders).
That is why it is so important to form normal self-esteem. Let's call it correct, because it is based on more or less objective assessments of one's abilities and the desire to become better.
Formation of correct self-esteem
Correct self-esteem allows anyone to determine their strengths and weaknesses. He will know his strengths and try to develop them. And at the same time, work on the shortcomings to correct them.
The main problem with increasing low self-esteem is that it can get out of control and become inflated. Perhaps you have witnessed such changes when a person at school was quite withdrawn and unsure of himself, and after some time he became self-confident. As we have already seen, both extremes are destructive. This article will focus more on how to deal with low self-esteem.
These are the tools that will help you form adequate, correct self-esteem.
Diary and introspection
In order to understand who you are and what advantages and disadvantages you have, you need. Taking notes about yourself is a good way to do this. Of course, this process is not quick, so be prepared for a long and an exciting journey. At this point, you just need to evaluate yourself and not try to do anything about it. Approach this matter with a cool head.
You can start with fairly simple tables like listing the advantages and disadvantages. After some time, it may turn out that you were wrong about something. Admit it right away, because it is misconceptions about yourself that form incorrect self-esteem.
Watch yourself. Less judgment at this stage, just list the facts. If you are envious, write down this trait, but do not let it spoil your opinion of yourself. Everything can be fixed. The same envy disappears when you acquire qualities such as nobility and gratitude. You need to understand what to start from.
Self-knowledge and self-acceptance
At the second stage, you can already evaluate yourself, just avoid extreme characteristics. There is no need to consider yourself lazy or stupid, because there is too much uncertainty in these words. In some situation you might have behaved stupidly, but that does not make you stupid. Treat mistakes and failures as new challenges.
You have to get to know yourself again and again every day, because this process will never end. You are constantly changing, some estimates need to be revised. Remember that you do not have to pass judgment on yourself, you are only assessing your abilities on at the moment. Everything can be learned, which means there is reason for optimism. Let it become a conscious process for you.
They can make you understand something that cannot be expressed in words and that science cannot explain. This is a great way to use completely different capabilities of the human body.
Accepting yourself is a very important step. You roughly understand what to expect from yourself, you know your good qualities, and the presence of bad ones does not spoil your mood - after all, you are determined to get rid of them. Many people are so intolerant of their shortcomings that it literally eats them up. You need to calmly and methodically get rid of your disadvantages if they poison your life. Separate yourself from the shortcoming and boldly work to eliminate it.
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Affirmations
It's time to use the subconscious. The first step is to gain self-confidence; repeat the appropriate affirmations to yourself as often as possible. Many people think this a waste time, but it is self-hypnosis that allows you to become more decisive. work great with your hidden capabilities. You've probably had days when you were confident and everything worked out for you. So why not increase the number of these days and make confidence a habit?
Focus on action
Affirmations and self-hypnosis are good, but only if you take action. Confirmation is important. If you say that you are confident, then where are the results, where is the evidence? Actions are what give your brain confirmation.
Surprisingly, the importance of the action does not matter much, what matters is the importance you yourself attach to it. Simply clearing your desk can be proof that you can take action. And the more such evidence, the sooner you will begin to move by inertia. Therefore, start with something simple, only after completing each task, note it to yourself, or better yet, put a tick on your to-do list.
We wish you good luck!
any individual is complex process, including several different stages of development. The very first stage of development is the baby’s holistic perception of the general assessment of his behavior by the adults around him. Accordingly, at the next stage we observe a more detailed assessment own behavior child, as well as his perception of outsiders’ assessment of his behavior and activities. Only at the last stage do mechanisms finally emerge and form that allow the child to independently assess a specific criterion of his personality.
At the last stage of the formation of self-esteem, which occurs closer to adolescence, it is characterized by polarity, that is, in its self-esteem, the child adheres to the principles of “good and bad” and goes to extremes. At subsequent stages, the ability to independently develop objective assessment not only their actions, but also their experiences and emotional states. The final step is the child’s ability to completely transfer the skill of objective assessment from external to inner world and experiences.
Building Personal Self-Esteem
Psychologists are considering Creation personal self-esteem How psychological neoplasm of the individual, which is laid down in him from birth and subsequently develops in stages. There are 2 main “components” in it, among which are the cognitive and emotional links, which work with each other absolutely inextricably. The cognitive link is the totality of an individual’s knowledge about himself, the experience he has accumulated about his personality and its individual factors, positive and negative aspects. The emotional link is a person’s attitude to the totality of the cognitive vein and individual qualities of his “I”. This structure is due to the fact that an individual acquires any knowledge about himself as a person strictly in social environment and from a social point of view. Accordingly, over time, this knowledge “accumulates” with various emotional relationships and assessments of the individual as a social subject.
Just like any other psychological education, on self-esteem education have many impacts various factors, on which the level of its development directly depends. These include the individual’s communication with the people around him, in general, self-observation and self-control. Any person like social subject, performs any type of activity and thereby falls into specific situation, in which he gains experience and develops his personal attitude towards certain things, actions, feelings. It also produces internal assessment your decisions, behavior patterns, character traits, positive and negative sides.
No specific type activity that would be equally beneficial for all individuals in the development of self-esteem or equally harmful. In this, psychologists highlight strict individuality, although they have managed to somewhat systematize the types of activities in relation to self-esteem. It is known that the adequacy of self-esteem is positively influenced by engaging in the type of activity that is leading for the current period of personality development. For example, the formation of objective self-esteem in children and adolescents is facilitated by active communication with peers and discipline in learning. In adulthood, the leading activity option is labor self-improvement. However, as already stated, external conditions are completely individual for each individual. The same study or work act as an activity that brings satisfaction and the opportunity for self-realization, but it can also serve as a source of dissatisfaction, stress, and emotional exhaustion.
Indicator high level self-esteem is considered to be its division and differentiation. Such an individual is able to fairly objectively assess his capabilities and internal potential in relation to one or another external condition. Good self-esteem is the key to integrity internal state a person and his stability, even in the event of changes in society and other external conditions of life. This is a very significant factor in the development of a person and his individuality.
Creating adequate self-esteem
How personal psychological factor, inherent in every person from the moment of his birth, self-esteem is important within the framework of the formation of an individual as a unique personality. It is he who forms in a person’s mind the need to achieve a certain level in his development, which will correspond not only to the requirements and conditions of society, but also to his personal ideas and aspirations.
Many experts, for example, M. Fennel, suggest that self-esteem plays the role of one of the leading factors of human self-regulation. So creating adequate self-esteem important for determining the direction and level of activity in an individual’s life. His behavior in society, integration into conditions also depends on it environment, attitude towards others and, of course, towards self. Self-esteem is one of the most complex psychological mechanisms. R. Nemov also put forward a popular theory in our time that self-esteem is also important for maintaining the integrity of a person’s individuality in the face of changes in his environment and society.
Self-esteem is most vulnerable and at the same time subject to correction in childhood. This is due to the fact that in this life period it is just beginning to emerge as an independent psychological mechanism. A child is not born already prepared internal potential and attitude towards himself. As you grow up, receive life experience, perception of the assessment of others, he begins to form certain claims towards others and towards himself. An important factor for the formation of self-esteem at this age is its preparation and development of communication skills.
As a child grows up, he independently acquires the ability to evaluate his own inner “I”, just as he comprehends himself as a social object. This is considered to be self-esteem, which also influences further activities individual, associated with his level of aspirations. By aspirations, or rather, their level, we understand the level of possible achievements and difficulties that a person determines for himself.
A proper balance between self-esteem and the degree of aspiration has a huge impact on the emotional and spiritual state of the child. If a person’s self-esteem is adequate, then the level of aspirations changes depending on real possibilities individual. If there is a discrepancy between great aspirations and real life circumstances, which often happens due to too much high self-esteem and self-confidence, a person feels unhappy.
A child’s self-esteem is actively influenced by the upbringing of adults, as well as their behavior. In addition to the fact that an adult is an undeniable authority for a child, he is also influenced by a close adult’s assessment of his activities or personality as a whole. In order for a growing child to develop adequate self-esteem, he must feel an atmosphere of approval and support from his parents and adults in general. At the same time, a positive assessment should be aimed at the child’s specific activities and successes, and not at something for which he did not make any effort. It is worth being fairly objective in your judgments so that the future individual does not grow up overly self-confident and with inflated self-esteem.
Formation of self-control and self-esteem
Modern progressive society places a certain number of demands on each growing individual. It needs active people who show initiative, both in work and in social issues generally able to express themselves creatively. That is why it is really important to be able to reveal your full potential and develop your existing inclinations. The development and establishment of oneself as a successful individual ensures formation of self-control and self-esteem.
Man has a unique psychological mechanism, which allows him to consciously control his activities depending on external conditions or own desires. This is what we call “self-control.” Like any other ability, it is formed as the individual acquires personal experience, communication with others and adaptability to team activities.
Along with self-esteem, self-control is established already in childhood, so its formation is also actively influenced by an adequate approach to education. The key to the development of self-control is the child’s awareness of the need to evaluate his activities and regulate them, depending on personal needs, environmental conditions, compliance with logic and rules.
Education of self-esteem of a primary school student
Education of schoolchildren's self-esteem junior classes mainly relies on his active work, in particular, communication with peers, study, development of self-control and self-discipline. In essence, any activity, especially if it is games or other activities in a group of peers, forces the child to pay attention to himself and his actions. In some situations, self-control also develops, discipline caused by the need to obey certain rules.
This is also of great importance for the child’s education. A younger student needs to master the basics of self-discipline, since he will need to control himself and his efforts, directing them to study. Achieving this is impossible without assessing yourself and your potential. Thus, a person accumulates experience of knowledge about himself from childhood. During any activity, the child evaluates himself according to several schemes. First of all, it is a comparison of your personality with others. The second way of assessment is a comparison of the desired and real successes resulting from personal activity. Of course, the higher the child’s aspirations, the more difficult it will be for him to succeed.
Building self-esteem
The development of self-esteem is quite individual, but at certain life stages, great influence it is influenced by the variant of activity that is considered the main one at this stage of development. That is formation of student self-esteem is quite closely related to their learning process. The adequacy of future self-esteem child. The success of studies largely determines the academic performance itself, the student’s interest in working on himself and acquiring new knowledge. The leading role is played by the adequate work of the teacher or educator himself, who can resort to various schemes conducting classes to ensure their success. One of important factors perform external relations, that is, gestures, glances, words and their context addressed to the child. Based on the attitude and assessment of the teacher, he builds an assessment of his personality, and this must be taken into account when teaching pedagogical activity in the lower grades.
Adequate self-esteem is one of the main signs of a full-fledged healthy personality. Formed throughout long period time. The roots of low self-esteem go back to the parent-child relationship.
But a person himself can help himself increase his self-esteem and cultivate a lot of positive qualities character and at the same time greatly improve your life.
Techniques you should learn to level up your self-esteem
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you and there will always be people who have less of it than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.
2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You will not be able to develop adequate self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Do you talk about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial situation or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Correcting your self-esteem is directly related to your statements about yourself.
3. Accept all compliments and congratulations with a “thank you.” When you respond to a compliment with something like “nothing special,” you are rejecting this compliment and at the same time sending yourself a message that you are not worthy of praise, creating low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your merits.
4. Use affirmations to strengthen your self-esteem. Place a statement on a frequently used item, such as a card or wallet, such as “I love and accept myself” or “I attractive woman and I deserve the best in life.” May this statement always be with you. Repeat the affirmation several times throughout the day, especially before you go to bed and after you wake up. Whenever you repeat an affirmation, focus on positive emotions. Thus, the effect of the impact will be significantly enhanced.
5. Use seminars, books, audio and video recordings dedicated to strengthening self-esteem. Any information you allow into your mind takes root there and influences your behavior. If you watch negative television programs or read crime chronicles in newspapers, most likely your mood will lean towards the cynical and pessimistic side. Likewise, if you read books or listen to programs that are positive in nature and can build self-esteem, you will acquire qualities from them.
6. Try to communicate with positive and confident people who are ready to support you. When you're surrounded negative people who constantly suppress you and your ideas, your self-esteem decreases. On the other hand, when you are accepted and encouraged, you feel better and your self-esteem is strengthened.
7. Make a list of your past achievements. The list may include small victories, for example: learned to snowboard, received driver license, started going to the gym regularly, etc. Review this list regularly. While reading your achievements, try to close your eyes and again feel the satisfaction and joy that you once experienced.
8. Create a list of your positive qualities. Are you honest? Selfless? Helpful to others? Are you creative? Be kind to yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities you have. As with the previous list, it is important to review this list frequently. Many people focus on their shortcomings, reinforcing low self-esteem there, and then wonder why everything in their life is not as good as they would like. Start concentrating on your strengths, and you will become much more more chances to achieve what you want.
9. By helping others, you begin to feel like a more valuable individual, and your self-esteem is strengthened and your mood improves.
10. Try to do what you like. It's hard to feel positive about yourself if your days are spent working at a job you despise. Self-esteem is strengthened when you are engaged in work or activities that bring you pleasure and make you feel more valuable. Even if your job does not completely suit you, you can devote free time some of your hobbies that bring you joy.
11. Be true to yourself. Live yours own life. You will never respect yourself if you don't spend your life the way you want to spend it. If you make decisions based on the approval of your friends and family, you are not being true to yourself and will have low self-esteem.
12. Take action! You will not be able to develop an adequate level of self-esteem if you sit still and do not accept the challenges that arise in front of you. When you take action, regardless of the outcome, your sense of self-esteem increases and you feel more positive about yourself. When you hesitate to act because of fear or some other anxiety, you will only feel frustration and sad feelings, which, of course, will lead to a decrease in self-esteem.
And remember: you unique personality, with enormous opportunities, with enormous potential. As your self-esteem grows, your true abilities will be revealed. Most importantly, adequate self-esteem will bring you peace of mind, and you will really truly appreciate yourself.
Self-esteem is extremely important for every person. It’s not for nothing that psychologists say that others treat us the way we treat ourselves. It is not surprising that people with low self-esteem, even having outstanding qualities, arouse only hostility and disrespect. But absolutely ordinary people who love themselves excessively often achieve heights solely because they inspire respect and awe in others.
A child’s self-esteem is formed throughout the entire period of growing up - and parents need to know exactly how this happens in order to be able to influence the child’s self-esteem and, if necessary, correct it.
The importance of self-esteem in a person's life
Self-esteem can be overestimated, adequate and underestimated. People with high self-esteem overestimate their skills, which leads to inadequate perception yourself and possible problems. Those with adequate self-esteem usually know their strengths and weaknesses, so they can show or hide them in time. Such people have a positive attitude towards themselves and are open to the world around them. People with low self-esteem have an extremely negative attitude towards others and suffer from a lack of self-confidence and respect for their own personality. Such people feel weak, incapable of any feats and are distrustful of the world around them.
As you can see, self-esteem affects almost all areas of life and determines the level and quality of a person’s life as a whole. Of course, self-esteem can change throughout life, but its foundations are laid in early age. Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to the formation of a child’s self-esteem close attention from the very first years of his life. Moreover, greatest influence A child's self-esteem is influenced by the people closest to him.
Forming a child’s self-esteem at an early age
Most preschoolers have high self-esteem - and this is considered absolutely normal. Of course, they caress the baby, pamper him, “babble” with him, and any, even the smallest achievement, is perceived as real feat. “You are the smartest in the group!”, “You are so strong!”, “You are the best in the world!” - these are the phrases most often heard by a preschool child in a loving family.
The formation of a child’s self-esteem at an early age also depends on the fact that he is not yet able to separate his actions from his personality as a whole. That is, one or another action in the child’s mind automatically defines him as a person. This manifests itself in thoughts like this: “I cleaned the room, I’m good” or “I broke the window with a ball - I’m bad.” It is in connection with this psychological feature For preschoolers, experts do not recommend that parents compare their children with others. After all, if a child did a worse act than someone else, it means that he is generally worse than another child! And such awareness already greatly influences the formation of a child’s assessment at an early age.
As a rule, in older preschool age children already learn to separate their actions from their own personality as a whole, give a correct assessment of their actions and independently control their behavior. In the process of forming a child’s self-esteem in older preschool age important role communication with close relatives plays a role. It is adults who form a child’s value system through their reaction to one or another of his actions. If a child hit his friend, and the adults did not reprimand him and did not force him to apologize to the person he offended, he will not consider that he did something wrong. And if the child drew a successful picture, but was not praised, this will also leave an imprint on the child’s self-esteem.
Arriving at school, the child begins to be evaluated not only by his family, but also by complete strangers - teachers, classmates, etc. Gradually, the child’s self-esteem is getting closer and closer to reality. He begins to understand that, despite having strengths, he is not a genius and cannot demand admiration and admiration from others.
Yes, he solves problems well or teaches and reads poetry well - but there are other people who also do something very well. And we need to take them into account. Or another situation: a child runs poorly, but knows how to use a computer perfectly.
As a rule, a child’s self-esteem at primary school age does not coincide with the opinions of others about him, which indicates the formation of his own image of “I”. In addition, the child’s self-esteem during this period is influenced by the attitude of his peers, the level of his academic performance and the attitude of teachers towards him.
Formation of a child’s self-esteem in adolescence
In adolescence, a child’s self-esteem depends entirely on how many friends he has and how high his authority is in the team. The intensity of communication with peers is involved in the formation of a teenager’s own “I”. A child’s self-esteem is the result of whether they want to be friends with him, whether he is considered an authority in the team, whether he is taken seriously or whether they laugh at him.
In order for a child’s self-esteem to be adequate and his standard of living worthy, it is enough to adhere to several rules for raising a child:
1. Realistically evaluate children's achievements, without exaggerating or belittling the child's merits.
2. Praise your child for good deeds and scold for bad ones.
3. Separate assessments of the child’s actions from assessments of his personality as a whole. You cannot tell a child who breaks a vase that he is bad and you don’t love him anymore. Evaluate the child’s action (“you did something bad”), but do not allow overall ratings(“you’re bad”)
4. Don't compare your child with other children. To form an adequate self-esteem of a child, it is better to compare the child’s earlier achievements with later ones and monitor the positive dynamics.
5. Give your child only those tasks that he can do. Otherwise, the child’s self-esteem will drop sharply, despite the fact that he was unable to complete the task (even if it really does not correspond to his age). Also consider individual characteristics child, offering him this or that task. Let this task be focused on his inclinations, skills, abilities, interests. In this case, the baby will complete the task you propose with great pleasure, because he will feel that he can do it!
6. Listen to your child’s opinion and respect his Personality. In this case, the baby will understand that he is significant and important, and the child’s self-esteem will be adequate.
7. Even when you scold a child, do not say: “You never..”, “You constantly...”. So you deprive him of all positive aspirations for self-improvement. What's the point of trying if you've always been and will remain just as bad? 
8. Watch your tone when communicating with your child. If you praise him, be friendly. If you scold, speak in a stern tone. Just make sure that the transitions from one tone to another are not abrupt. You cannot scold a child and then praise him 5 minutes later. This is very important for the formation of a child’s self-esteem.
9. Set an example for your child - let him see that even parents can make mistakes. For example: “You see, today mom over-salted the soup. Well, it’s okay, next time she will make the most delicious soup in the world!”
10. Encourage initiative in your child and do not be afraid to show him your love.
Remember that your child’s self-esteem depends on you. And only you can make sure that your child is confident, cheerful, open to the world and emotionally stable. People with adequate self-esteem strive for success and can admit their mistakes without diminishing their merits. Adequate self-esteem is the path to a decent standard of living!
