How to get rid of bad thoughts: advice from a psychologist. The main causes of touchiness

Negative character traits are found in everyone, but they are expressed to a greater or lesser extent. Laziness, pride, doubts, deceit, greed, and fears can really ruin your life if you don’t learn to cope with them. Even one quality can be enough to make a person unbearable to be around, and if there is a complete set, then this greatly affects the circle of friends.

How to change character

It is impossible to force a person to change if he does not want to. Only in childhood can parents or relatives influence a person, then only he himself can decide to become different. To transform, you need to understand what is negative in your character and what needs to be corrected. To do this, contact your loved ones and ask what they don’t like. And don’t shout at them, don’t be offended, but listen. People around you always know better, and if they love you, they won’t lie. With their help, create a list of negative traits and look at it carefully.

You can only fix what you agree with. Analyze each quality, think about the situations when it happened, find out what was the cause and effect. Observation, awareness is a huge step towards a new character. And only after analysis should you begin to react differently. Changing your behavior right away can be difficult, but over time it will start to get better. Every time, just think about what to say, what to do, do not act out of habit, but go beyond the previous framework.

Mistakes in Behavior Change

People sometimes discover laziness in themselves, realize it and decide to get rid of it. This is the wrong position. If something is forcibly removed, if something is ignored, it will appear again and again. You don't need to fight yourself, but simply choose a different direction. For example, activity is the opposite of laziness. The correct formulation of the change will sound like this: increase your activity, begin to realize yourself with greater enthusiasm. This creates a vector of development and helps improve your achievements.

The opposite of touchiness is the ability to forgive, the other side of greed is generosity, removing touchiness, strive for forgiveness. Every negative quality has its opposite; it is this that allows you to change and move forward. Write down your negative traits in a column, find positive ones for them and record them on paper. And every day try to become better, work on yourself, watch your behavior and speech. Just a few months of training will make you a much better person.

Special trainings can help in changing consciousness. Today, many classes are conducted on the Internet, some are dedicated to liberation from negative experiences, reducing aggression, and increasing productivity. All of them can help in transformation. But it is important to understand that listening is very useful, but you also need to do exercises that will make the training effective.

Bad thoughts appear in your head for a variety of reasons. They can sit in the subconscious for a long time and interfere with a normal life. Therefore, they must be driven away. Let's learn how to get rid of bad thoughts in several ways.

The influence of bad thoughts on life

Negative thoughts are very difficult to control. They prevent you from resting and do not give you peace even in a comfortable environment. This can cause deterioration not only in mental health, but also in physical health. A person becomes irritable, absent-minded, suspicious, hot-tempered, and more and more new diseases appear.

Also, constantly thinking about the bad takes up too much time. Although it could have been spent on really important things. A person gets stuck in his experiences and does not move forward. Thoughts are material. Negative thoughts only attract troubles and realize fears.

“Don’t take bad things into your head or heavy things into your hands,” - this is what people say, and for good reason. You need to free your head from pessimistic thoughts, and not overload yourself with physical labor in order to maintain your health. And bad thoughts always entail dire consequences. Therefore, it is imperative to get rid of negativity.

Reasons for bad thoughts

Every anxiety has a source. It must be determined in order to understand how to proceed. Very often negative stories from the past interfere with life. A person experiences guilt (although it may be far-fetched) and constantly worries about this.

For other people, negativity becomes a character trait. They are also called complainants. They love to do soul-searching and have been pessimists since childhood.

Negative personal qualities also poison life. This may be self-doubt, in which any event or decision becomes a test. Suspiciousness can be viewed in the same vein. In such a person, anything can put anxiety in his head, from a news report to the conversation of random passers-by.

Of course, the source can also be real problems that a person cannot solve. Waiting for the outcome is what makes you nervous, imagining not the most optimistic scenarios in your head.

But religion explains in its own way why there are always bad thoughts in your head. It is believed that the cause of obsessions and experiences is evil spirits, demons. They need to be fought in an unconventional way - through prayer.

Let's look at several techniques that psychologists recommend using when bad thoughts arise.

Calculation

The first step to solving a problem is to understand what is causing your anxiety. The reasons can be very deep, so it is better to visit a psychologist. But you can try to cope on your own. To do this, on a piece of paper you need to write all your fears in two columns: real and fictional, and then opposite each one - his decision, that is, what needs to be done so that the anxiety does not come true.

For example, how to get rid of bad thoughts about an open window or an unturned stove? Every time before leaving the house you need to double check this action.

Solution

Often negative thoughts appear due to unresolved problems. If a way out of the situation can be found, then you need to act. Bad thoughts about the problem will go away as soon as it is resolved. But, unfortunately, many are often accustomed to complaining and doing nothing to change the situation. If you are reading this article, then this is not about you. You are definitely ready to act, and everything will work out for you. You just need to identify the source of the anxiety.

Acceptance

Not all problems can be solved; sometimes nothing depends on the person. For example, a relative or friend is hospitalized and is fighting for his life. In such a situation, it is quite normal to worry. The solution is to accept negative thoughts. You need to realize what you are actually experiencing, and there is nothing unusual about it.

Are bad thoughts creeping into your head? Accept them and live with them. But you don’t need to give them free rein, otherwise they will take over the behavior. It is better to observe negative messages from the outside, without subsequent reaction to them. The essence of this technique is action, not savoring thoughts. So do everything you can and leave the rest to chance.

Removal and replacement

This method will require a little awareness and understanding of your emotions. As soon as you feel negativity appearing in your head, immediately remove it, as if you were throwing garbage into a bin. You need to try not to get hung up on thoughts, not to develop this topic, but try to forget about it. The best assistant in this matter will be substitution. The point is that you need to start thinking about something pleasant, positive, or at least neutral.

With this technique, there is no need to figure out how to get rid of bad thoughts. They are not fed, but replaced by other events. Each time it will turn out easier and better. And after some time, consciousness will begin to use this method automatically.

Postponement

It’s not for nothing that they say that the morning is wiser than the evening. Sometimes it's best to postpone your thoughts until later. For example, if you can't sleep because of bad thoughts, promise yourself that you will definitely think about it tomorrow. If the problem is not particularly serious, then the brain will easily agree with this proposal. Most likely, in the morning the negativity will no longer bother you and will even resolve itself.

This is a very simple but effective technique. It can be used in many situations. There is no point in thinking about something that will become insignificant in the future. Realizing this makes it much easier to get the negative things out of your head. For serious problems this method will not work. It is better to find solutions for them.

Suppression

Bad thoughts suddenly appeared in your head, what should you do then? It is necessary to suppress the desire to be upset as quickly as possible so as not to develop an unpleasant topic. To do this, you need to put aside all your affairs, count to thirty and take five deep exhalations and inhalations. The brain needs time to comprehend the subject of thought, so as not to make irrational conclusions and unreasonable actions.

If the anxiety still does not go away, then repeat all the steps. If possible, go outside and take a short walk. This will allow you to put your thoughts in order and even distract you from negativity.

Reduction to the Absurd

You can try the completely opposite technique. On the contrary, you need to completely immerse yourself in bad thoughts and consider what bad things could happen as a result. It is most effective to imagine the most. Use your imagination, use exaggeration, make your thoughts vivid.

For example, you need to pass an important interview. It is clear that many people have bad thoughts at such moments. Imagine in vivid colors what kind of failure might await you. The head of the HR department, as soon as he sees your resume, starts screaming loudly and throwing tomatoes. You decide to escape such shame and run out of the office. But then the cleaning lady throws a wet rag at you because you trampled the entire floor. Out of surprise, you fall, get up and run again. And then you are kidnapped by aliens and taken to another planet.

Absurd, isn't it? But it is precisely this kind of exaggeration that takes away the power of negative thoughts. You just have to try it to be convinced of the effectiveness of the technique.

Wording on paper

Psychologists also recommend putting all your bad thoughts on paper. They need to be written down in detail, in all colors and details. The more often we formulate experiences, the less often we return to them. This means they will bother you less and less. Bad thoughts written down on paper should be considered a completed stage, so the piece of paper can be torn or burned.

Sometimes it is more effective not to destroy records. In some situations, it is better to fill out two columns on the sheet - negative and positive thoughts, so that you can compare them later. The first records negative experiences. And in the second - pleasant. It could also be some positive attitudes. For example, “I am smart,” “I do a good job,” “I am a wonderful wife,” and so on.

You can write down only your good qualities on paper and place it in a visible place (on your desk or in the bathroom). As soon as bad thoughts appear, immediately look at this list to remind yourself of the good.

Positive social circle

Pay attention to what kind of people surround you. Think about whether among your acquaintances and friends there are those who evoke negative thoughts. If you count even a few such people, then you shouldn’t blame yourself and upset yourself even more. Whatever the true reason for the behavior, relationships with these people are harmful to mental health. Experts recommend temporarily avoiding these individuals. If during this period your mood and well-being have improved, then it will be better to end the relationship with them.

You should not stick with people who constantly insult, ridicule, or disrespect your hobbies and time. It’s better that you have one friend, but a positive one, and you don’t have to think about how to remove bad thoughts. Cheerful people always bring back good memories, lift your spirits and charge you with positive energy.

There are also universal methods that perfectly help cope with bad thoughts. Psychologists also recommend actively using them. They bring feelings into balance in cases of mild anxiety, and in more complex cases they only enhance the effect of the above techniques. Their main mechanism is distraction. Perhaps these methods will be familiar to many from personal practice.

Positive music

Scientific research has proven that you can drown out bad thoughts with the help of a pleasant melody. Therefore, determine for yourself the best music channel or wave on the radio, and also create a playlist of positive songs in your gadget. As soon as you feel that disturbing thoughts are penetrating your consciousness, turn on loud music and cheer yourself up.

A favorite hobby or activity will help you take your mind off your fears and anxieties. This can be any activity that brings pleasure (dancing, singing, riding a bike, handicrafts, reading books, growing flowers and much more).

Some people get rid of stupid thoughts by doing dirty work - cleaning the house. They start washing dishes, floors, dusting, cleaning closets, and so on. Of course, positive music will brighten up an unloved task. This way, bad thoughts will receive a double blow and disappear in one moment.

Physical activity

Sport is an excellent way to get rid of bad thoughts. Physical activity relieves adrenaline, unloads the nervous system, and therefore relieves stress well. In addition, with regular exercise, a beautiful, toned body will be a pleasant bonus. Such psychological relief, combined with awareness of one’s attractiveness, increases self-confidence and reduces the number of reasons for concern. Just don't overload yourself. We must not forget about moderation and proper rest, so as not to leave room for negative experiences.

Proper nutrition

It is drinking and food that give us the resources and strength to exist. An unbalanced diet, hunger or lack of fluid depletes the body and leads to fatigue. It is she who creates the conditions for worry even about a minor matter. Therefore, it is important to eat healthy food and drink healthy drinks (fresh fruit drinks, freshly squeezed juices, compotes, green tea and clean water). In moments of sadness, you should treat yourself to food antidepressants: chocolate, raisins, bananas, hazelnuts and whatever you like. Psychologists say that delicious food also drives away bad thoughts.

Appeal to God

Prayer helps religious people get rid of bad thoughts. Only sincere appeal will become a powerful weapon in the fight against evil spirits. Prayer will establish an energetic connection with the deity and drive away inner demons. Only here the moment of humility with what is happening is important if you are not satisfied with certain circumstances. If the problem is despair or despondency, then you need to turn to higher powers with gratitude. If you are offended or angry at another person, you should forgive him yourself and mention his pardon in prayer.

It is not necessary to know famous texts to receive help from higher powers. It is enough to sincerely address and express everything in your own words, then you will definitely be heard.

Now you know how to get rid of bad thoughts if they visit you. You can use psychological techniques, universal techniques, or prayer if you are a religious person.

Question to a psychologist

Hello! I’m 22 years old. In general, help me, I can’t understand my character. I don’t really want to communicate with anyone. I offend someone, a feeling of guilt constantly haunts me (and in this situation it’s impossible not to say something). Then it’s difficult to forgive someone. Constantly I’m digging in my thoughts, thinking and thinking. Everyone seems like a liar to me. I’m a pretty girl, but sometimes I want to beat someone up. I’m a student. I have no problems with finances. Help me, how can I get rid of a difficult character? How can it be simpler?

Answers from psychologists

Hello Laura!

It's great that you are exploring yourself. This is the main thing. And the fact that you “stumble” into yourself with discoveries unexpected for you - YES, you are like that - a special, unique individual. Does your discovery scare you? But not all people have to be what they imagine. You are a living person. And therefore, you have all shades of emotions and feelings - from resentment, guilt to joy and delight.

Come explore your inner world without your own obstacles in the form of attitudes and self-judgment.

Best regards, Zhanat.

Maybe put the question differently - not how it could be simpler - but - How to be?

Not to get rid of it, but to figure it out, and then the exits will appear and they will be visible?

Come to the reception.

G. Idrisov.

Hello Laura.

It is not easy to cope with such conflicting feelings. You write that sometimes you get angry with people (“you want to beat someone up”) and cannot forgive, and if you express your feelings, then you are tormented by feelings of guilt. If it seems that “everyone around you is like a liar,” this may mean that everyone seems to treat you “insincerely” - but then how can you trust people and why communicate with them? Misunderstanding of oneself often leads to misunderstanding of others and, as a consequence, to isolation and loneliness.

This tangle of contradictions needs to be unraveled; it is better to do this with the help of a psychologist. Come to a face-to-face meeting, choose your psychologist.

Good luck to you!

Hello Laura! There is no need to get rid of a complex character - it is part of you. It is important to get to know yourself better, accept all your sides, understand why they are given to you, and how to interact with them. A person cannot be the same all the time, otherwise he is not alive. All living things change, develop, and this is normal. Your soul-searching should have meaning and result. Come to a psychologist, he will help you get to the bottom of it. Good luck to you!

Hello Laura!
Judging by the letter, you really don’t have a very clear character. Moreover, it is not very clear not only to you, but also to those around you - to me you look like a contradictory girl who jumps from one thought to another and it is difficult to follow and understand the logical thread of your reasoning. If you want to change it, then work with it. And best of all, paired with a specialist.
Good luck! Svetlana.

Hello Laura! If I understand correctly, it is not easy for you to face some of your feelings and reactions in your interactions with people. I suggest you understand yourself and what is happening in your relationships with others through face-to-face work with a psychologist. When there is more understanding, it will become clear what and how to change. I am ready to be useful to you. Tatiana.

Hello Laura.

Understanding, feeling and negotiating with yourself is not a very simple task and you need to learn it. Come.

All the best to you, Anya.

Hello Laura!

You have formed an inadequate picture of the world, in which everyone is bad, everyone is a liar, everyone somehow violates your boundaries, hence your desire to kill (aggression). You need to change this picture, bring it closer to reality, because reality is not as terrible as you paint it for yourself inside. Reality is neutral and, by definition, not cruel to us. And character is a way of reacting to the environment. Change the reflection of this environment in your inner world - your reaction will also change. You need a course of psychotherapy, during which you will be able to change the pathological meanings that you attach to reality for healthier ones. All the best, Elena.

I have a very bad character, I don’t listen to my mother, I constantly anger her. Sometimes I behave well, but most of the time I behave badly. How can I improve my character and disposition? What helps you show piety to your parents and be a person of good character? Will I be punished if my character is bad? Or is being a person of good character just an extra thing? When I improve my character, I feel hypocrisy, and I feel that I am committing minor polytheism by becoming better in character. How can I strengthen myself in good character and at the same time be sincere with Allah?
Answer.
Praise be to Allah.
First .
Good character will weigh heavily on the scales of deeds on the Day of Resurrection. The person whose character was the best will sit closest to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) on the Day of Judgment.
It is reported from Jabir that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “ Verily, the most beloved of you to me and the closest of those who sit next to me on the Day of Judgment will be those of you who are of the best character.» .
It was reported from ‘Amr that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “ Verily, the best of you is the one who has the best character.» .
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“This hadith calls for good character and also explains the dignity of a person who has it. The prophets of Allah Almighty and the auliya close to Him possessed this quality.
Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Good character consists of spreading good, refraining from causing harm and having a cheerful face.”
Al-Qadi 'Iyad said: “It is dealing with people with courtesy and friendliness, showing sympathy for them, having compassion for them, showing patience with them, being kind to them and tolerating unwanted actions from them, leaving pride and arrogance in front of them, distance from rudeness, anger and reproaches."
Second.
Disobedience and lack of piety towards parents is one of the great sins; the one who disobeys will not gain success either in this life or in the hereafter.
A Muslim man and a Muslim woman are obliged to be completely benevolent towards their parents, always strive for piety towards them and avoid angering them, disagreeing with them and disobeying them.
For more information, please refer to the answers to questions no. and no.
Third.
It is possible to improve your character and educate yourself through the following means:
- learn more about the dignity of good character and the good reward that will result from it in this world and in the hereafter;
- learn about the harmfulness of bad character and the bad outcome that is its consequence;
- study the lives of predecessors and stories about the righteous;
- move away from anger, decorate yourself with patience and get rid of haste;
- communicate and be with people of good character, move away from meetings with people of bad character;
- train your soul and accustom it to good character, show patience and endure difficulties along the way, as the poet said:
“Be generous in order to get used to (doing) good, because you will never see a person with generosity who has not (previously) accustomed himself to be generous”;
- pray to Allah Almighty to improve a person’s character and help him in this; The prayer of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was: “O Allah, make my character as beautiful as you have made my appearance.” .
If a person slipped in some situation and behaved incorrectly, then he should hasten to apologize and correct what he ruined, and also have the intention of improving his character.
A Muslim, improving his character, does this out of obedience to Allah Almighty and out of a desire to gain His pleasure, as well as trying to follow the example of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), as in all types of worship. He does not do this because people will praise him, because in such a case he loses his reward and deserves punishment for doing it for show (riya).
Just as a believer in Allah tries to be sincere in all his acts of worship and do them only for the sake of Allah, he should do the same in regards to improving his character. Before one’s eyes one should always only have the command of Allah, the calculation for one’s actions on the Day of Judgment, Libra, Heaven and Hell, as well as the conviction that people will not be able to bring him any benefit or harm him in any way.
Remembering the Last Day most of all helps a Muslim to be sincere (ikhlas) and to perform deeds only for the sake of Allah Almighty.
Fourth.
Piety towards parents is promoted by:
- knowledge of the rights of parents and their merit, as well as how they raised their children, enduring all the difficulties and hardships in order to make their lives enjoyable;
- knowledge of Sharia texts that encourage and encourage to be pious to parents, texts that contain intimidation for disobedience to parents, as well as knowledge of reward for this in this world and in the next world;
- knowledge that showing piety towards parents is one of the main reasons that the children of such a son/daughter will be pious towards their parents; and disobedience is one of the main reasons for the disobedience of children of a disobedient son/daughter who is ungodly to his parents;
- study and acquaintance with the biographies of the righteous predecessors, about how pious and beneficent they were towards their mothers and fathers;
- reading books and brochures that talk about honoring parents, obedience and disobedience to them, as well as listening to Shariah lessons in the form of audio recordings on this topic;
- the right path, a kind word, a cheerful face, repeated prayers to Allah are the most important reasons that promote piety towards parents, honor and respect for them.
For more information please refer to the answer to question no.

Contents of the article:

Touchiness is a negative emotion (selfishness, arrogance) that has become a stable character trait. It manifests itself as resentment, as a result of which a person considers himself offended. On this basis, he may develop a feeling of envy and revenge. It is characteristic to a greater extent of infantile individuals, who often see a catch in communication, an infringement of their rights and freedoms, even in a situation that seems conflict-free at first glance.

Description and mechanism of development of touchiness

Before we talk about resentment, let's understand what resentment is. It is inherent in absolutely all people, it has a range of shades. It manifests itself as grief, a reaction to trouble, insult, humiliation or persecution. But for some, it’s a slap in the soul, which can develop into blood feud.

Let's say the behavior of a loved one is not at all what you would like to see. This causes a feeling of annoyance - a lot of resentment towards him. Another option: you always treated your friend well, supported him in difficult times and did not consider this a cost of communication. And now you are in trouble, and he is on the sidelines. It’s bitter to be disappointed in people, to lose faith in them, but, unfortunately, sometimes this happens in our lives.

About the roots of this unpleasant feeling. If resentment gnaws at the soul constantly and gives no peace, it becomes a character trait. Far from the best, which can be characterized as touchiness. Often a touchy person is vindictive because of the seemingly simplest everyday little things. Let's say a person had a fight, his anger is hidden and does not go away, he still dreams of taking revenge on his offender.

Touchiness as a character trait can be traced back to childhood. There is a logical explanation for this. A little person (boy or girl) is defenseless, so his offense is a kind of defense mechanism. By screaming, crying, and stamping his feet, the baby often forces attention to himself and gets his way. Often a child deliberately manipulates this behavior in the confidence that it will force him to be taken into account.

And if parents indulge their child just to avoid his hysteria, over time he will grow into an “emotional” scoundrel. A selfish person who will build his adult life only on confrontation with others. A little something went wrong, and he already has a grudge: towards his loved ones, friends - towards the whole world. This is typical for both men and women. There is no big difference here, although women's touchiness has some of its own characteristics.

And this is no longer a defensive childish reaction, but a pathological character trait. In contrast to ordinary resentment, which can be a response to, say, unfulfilled expectations. For example, they look at their neighbor as a good friend, but he turns out to be a boor and a scoundrel. And disappointment sets in. However, time passes, the grief is forgotten. Life goes on.

In psychology there is such a thing as mental resentment. This is when a person is constantly offended by everyone. No matter what anyone tells him, he is all wrong. This is already a pathology of mental development that needs psychological correction.

Important to know! Touchiness is an unpleasant character trait that grows out of childhood grievances. For some people, it may become dominant in life, which is evidence of a mental disorder.

Who is susceptible to touchiness?

Different types of characters are also susceptible to such negative emotions in different ways. The people who are most indignant are melancholic people who have been experiencing their psychological trauma for a long time. And it can be inflicted by choleric people - explosive, often unbridled individuals in the manifestation of their feelings. Due to their tough character, resentment often develops into revenge. Phlegmatic and sanguine people are the least touchy; they are more resistant to various kinds of troubles and strive not to offend anyone.

Whatever the type of character, a person must be able to restrain his emotions. You shouldn’t throw them out on other people, but you shouldn’t keep them to yourself either. You must always behave calmly. This will save you from many troubles in life.

The main causes of touchiness

The causes of touchiness are different, and in a specific situation they can also manifest themselves in different ways, although in most cases a certain pattern can be traced. Let's take a closer look at all these factors:

• Infantilism. An adult resembles a child in his behavior. He is still offended just as he was in childhood, and cannot “stop” in any way. The reason for this behavior may be weakness of will. When it is easiest to hide behind resentment your inability or unwillingness to do what is required. He hides his weakness under the guise of resentment, saying, “Nobody understands me, everyone around me is bad.”
• . Another person deliberately seems offended; for example, he frowns, is reluctant to talk, and with his whole appearance shows that he has been unfairly offended. This is actually a childish trick to achieve a favorable attitude towards oneself. It is often used by the female sex, hoping to “pout” to attract male attention.
• Vindictiveness. It develops when they cannot or do not want to forgive. Resentment blurs the eyes, grows until the “end of the world”, except for it, nothing is visible. Such anger often has a social background. All southern peoples are very touchy due to their Old Testament traditions. For them, touchiness has become a national character trait and manifests itself as bloody revenge.
• Unfulfilled hopes. Touchiness here can be momentary in nature, but it can also be “global,” that is, long-lasting. For example, a child was offended because dad promised to buy a smartphone, but gave him a cheap mobile phone. This is a simple grievance, and may soon be forgotten. But if a girl married a man on whom she had high hopes, but it turned out that she married “a goat who only drinks,” this is already a big insult and trauma associated with her inflated expectations.
• Stressful situation. When a person is in a difficult situation, let’s say depression has set in due to a quarrel with his wife (husband). Resentment and anger are not the best advisor here; this can lead to serious consequences in a relationship. A serious illness or physical disability or injury can also cause resentment. Such people feel that they are not given due attention. Sometimes envy of healthy people can become such a “touchy” factor.
• Betrayal of a loved one. Let’s say I believed him, but he didn’t help in a difficult situation. I didn’t borrow money when I asked him, although I could have easily.
• Suspiciousness. A suspicious person is touchy. He always doubts everything, and therefore does not trust anyone. When he is reproached for this, he can be offended for a long time.
• Introvert. When a person is immersed in his inner world, he can carry his resentment within himself for years, mentally playing out how he will be able to take revenge on his offender.
• Pride. Always the companion of touchiness. An arrogant person cannot even admit the thought that someone might say something bad about him. And if this happens, he gets offended.

Important to know! All people are offended, but not all take their offense to anger and hatred, which often lead to criminal offenses.

Signs of touchiness in a person

These include:

1. Change in complexion. From an insult, a melancholic person may turn pale and outwardly react weakly, but deep in the soul the insult blooms magnificently. The choleric person will blush and react violently: screaming, waving his fists, swearing, that is, he becomes aggressive. Someone is very worried, his hands are shaking, while others are as quiet as water. For some, blood pressure rises and spasms in the throat begin.
2. Intonation changes. A person can scream, swear (choleric) or swallow the insult in silence, that is, withdraw into himself (melancholic).
3. Vindictiveness. Often, touchiness turns into feelings such as anger and revenge, when resentment lurks deep in the soul and seeks its way out in the decision to take revenge on the offender at all costs.
4. Insidiousness. Touchiness can be hidden under the guise of goodwill, but in fact a person harbors evil thoughts towards the one who offended.
5. Irritation. It spills out onto others. A touchy person blames everyone for his inconsistencies, because everyone is to blame for him - relatives, friends (if he has not lost them yet) and acquaintances.
6. Closedness. Often such people retreat into their resentment and become sullen towards others.
7. Disease. Chronic illness, injury or injury can cause increased resentment. It’s hard for a person, he understands his condition, he envies healthy people, and therefore he is offended by the whole world.
8. Striving for glory. If a person is vain, he is offended by everyone who did not appreciate him.
9. Arrogance, pride. People who consider themselves superior to others are easily offended by those who do not.

Important to know! If a person is fixated on his touchiness, this is already a reason to turn to a psychologist to get rid of his addiction.

How to get rid of resentment

Touchiness does not make a person beautiful. Such people are often prone to outbursts of rage, which can lead to the sad end of themselves or those at whom the unbridled anger is directed. You need to be able to cope with your resentment on your own and know how to control it. If this happens, we can say about such a person that he is quite mature, the level of his psychological preparation is quite high. He solves his problems successfully.

Independent actions to combat resentment

• Learn to shift your attention. If you are offended, there is no need to blame others for everything. Just think, if this happens, it means that I myself am to blame for something. Maybe the reason lies in me. Don't fuss and try to figure everything out. Logic and intelligence will help you find the right solution. You will maintain your calm and not enter into a completely unnecessary conflict.
• Don't get into a fight. After listening to the attacks, do not get excited, but try to cool down the ardor of those who are attacking you, saying, for example, that such words are unpleasant to hear. Such a phrase, spoken calmly and kindly, will help settle a quarrel. Of course, if the person who started it feels remorse. In any case, pride, when there is no desire to listen to your opponent, but wants to send him to hell, is not the best adviser in a flared up resentment.
• Know how to speak tactfully. Without rudeness or swearing. Even if a person is wrong, you should not tell him this in a rude manner or with a feeling of, say, such joy, like, I knew that it would be completely different, but you didn’t listen. Only a sense of tact will help defeat ill will and nip a quarrel in the bud.
• Don't take even mean jokes with offense. Know how to approach everything with a certain amount of humor. The offender will understand that you will not be “caught” and will leave you behind.

Important to know! Touchiness is not the best adviser. Only the ability to carry on a conversation will help you forget about her.

Psychological methods of dealing with resentment

Gestalt therapy techniques are well suited. They focus on adjusting emotions, which Gestal therapists believe underlie human behavior. If you understand the cause of negative feelings, you can get rid of them, then your behavior will change. And this is already the key to victory over touchiness.

The technique of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is popular, although it does not have official status. Perceptions, beliefs and behavior determine our lives, if you change them, you can get rid of psychological trauma. For example, on a piece of paper you should write down the name of your offender and everything you have against him. Then burn this piece of paper. All your grievances will disappear along with the ashes. You can write him a letter on the computer without being embarrassed about your emotions. But you don’t need to beat and burn a smart car. This certainly won't make it any easier.

Another way: beat a pillow with your hands, or, if possible, a punching bag, and take out all your rage on them. This will give vent to all the resentment and anger. In Japan, some offices have installed a stuffed boss, and every clerk can beat him until exhaustion. This is how he gives vent to his aggression, because it is known that no one likes bosses. This purely psychological method is not accidental; it has been established that after such a release of “steam”, labor productivity increases significantly.

Another effective way to get rid of resentment is to start a “Journal of Resentment.” Draw it into four columns and write down your feelings in detail in each:

• "Resentment". In what situation did she appear?
• "Expectations". What was expected, say, from a partner, and what actually happened.
• "Analysis". Why expectations turned out to be wrong, who is to blame for this, you or your partner.
• "Conclusions". Based on the analysis, determine what the right thing to do is to change the situation for the better.

Important to know! Resentment as a mental disorder is completely curable. You just have to really want it.

Medical solution to the problem of touchiness

Such people are isolated from society and placed in a psychiatric hospital, where they can stay for a long time, sometimes even for life. They are prescribed psychotropic and sedative drugs to bring down manic psychosis and put them in order, calm the nervous system.

How to get rid of touchiness - watch the video: