Short but useful advice. Try to pause while talking. It is common for a person to speak too quickly when he is nervous or wants to impress someone. Don't make that mistake.

When speaking... speak with rhythmic pauses... this will... make... you... easier... to understand... and more pleasant to listen to.

It will be much more interesting for the interlocutor. When Martin Luther King gave his famous speech, the crowd hung on his every word in rapt attention. It is not unusual that politicians always make good use of pauses.

Dilute your speech with pauses - and people will begin to listen to your words, because they will be overcome by curiosity: what will happen after the pause? Of course, there is no need to exaggerate either, but remember that caramels are always more pleasant to suck than to bite.

Bonus

Don't forget about proper breathing. Unfortunately, many people forget about this. Often, in the presence of an attractive man or beautiful woman, we begin to choke from excitement or simply forget to take a breath in time. Only relaxed deep breathing will help you remain calm at such an exciting moment.

Conversation with a stranger

How to start and maintain an interesting conversation

Let the situation decide for you

Forget all the Internet seduction methods and cheap pick-up guides. There are no magic phrases that can be memorized and used at every new meeting. The most interesting thing about a conversation is that you never know how it will turn out. It all depends on the people, their desires and the situation in which they met.

But any situation can be improved with the right first phrase.

It is best to comment on what a person is doing at the moment. If a girl is reading a movie poster, ask what she recommends watching. If she's looking at her perfect nails, praise her for taking such good care of them (but only if her nails are well-groomed—you should never lie when giving a compliment). The comment will be personal and to the point, which is much better than a banal compliment on someone’s butt.

Remember: don’t put too deep meaning into the first phrase. In the same way, you shouldn’t be upset if it doesn’t give the desired effect and the girl in return looks at you like you’re crazy. Don't react. You have more important things to do, like chatting with friends.

Bonus

Don't ask for forgiveness for being born. A confident person will never start a conversation with the phrase: “Sorry, I don’t want to disturb you, but...” Forget the words “sorry,” “excuse me,” “I won’t disturb you.” This puts you at an immediate disadvantage.

1. Remember a few basic conversation starters. You don't need to have world-class speaking skills to have a good conversation with someone. Just remember a few simple questions that you can use to avoid awkward pauses.

   • Ask your new friend where he is from, how he met your mutual friend, and what he usually does in his free time.
   • You can always ask your close friend how things are going at work, how his family is doing, or what interesting he did last weekend.

2. Think about possible topics for conversation in advance. Before you go to an event, have a few ideas ready to spice up the conversation. This will help with awkward pauses and you won't have to fumble for every possible word to continue the conversation.

   • It's easiest to talk to people who share your interests in sports or hobbies. In this case, everything is very simple - talk about what interests you, it doesn’t matter whether it’s yesterday’s game or a new way of crocheting that you came up with.
   • If you're talking to colleagues, think about topics related to the work, but not the process itself. For example, you could ask, “What do you think of our new dining room?”
   • Latest news, local events, famous and popular books and TV shows are always useful as a good fallback for conversation. Avoid talking about politics where people are not in the mood for vigorous discussion and debate.

3. Avoid flat, short answers. Simple yes/no answers are guaranteed to cause awkward pauses. Therefore, you should also avoid questions that lead to such short answers. If you do have to answer these types of questions, simply add to your answer and this will help keep the conversation afloat. For example, if you are asked if you like sports, don't just answer “yes” or “no.” Instead, justify your answer and give a personal example. You might answer something like: “Yes, I love skiing. I've been skiing since I was a child, and my favorite family memories are of snow-capped peaks. What sports do you like?”

   • Also avoid so-called conversational jams - answers that seem to put an end to the end of the conversation. For example, if you are talking about something funny and the other person says, “Yeah, that was fun,” don't just respond with a simple yes and a laugh. Instead, keep the conversation going. You can say the following: “Yes, it was definitely fun. But definitely not like the last time we dressed up as aliens, remember?”

4. Relieve tension. If you stress too much about the process of the conversation, you will likely be distracted from the essence of the conversation. Instead, be proactive and answer your partner's questions. Let the conversation take its course. If in any doubt, just take a deep breath and relax. The topics you have prepared are only necessary to keep the conversation going. If you have moved on to new subjects of discussion, then this is already a success!

   • Sooner or later, each of us faces awkward pauses. Try not to make a big deal about it. This will only make the problem worse, but will not solve it.

5. Share information gradually. If you blurt out everything at once, then most likely the conversation will not last long. Instead, gradually introduce information about yourself into the conversation and give the other person time to do the same. This will certainly lengthen your conversation and minimize the number of awkward pauses.

   • If you find yourself talking about your work for a while, take a break and ask the other person: “What's new at work?” This way, you both have the opportunity to contribute equally to the conversation.

6. Be friendly. This will calm your interlocutor and promote conversation. Remember to smile and respect the other person's words. Accept your interlocutor, this will make him feel much more comfortable in a conversation with you, and thus prolong your conversation. Remember to give others the opportunity to speak. A good conversation depends on all participants, not just one.

   • Confirm what the other person is saying by repeating part of what they said. If you are told about your daughter’s illness, you may react as follows: “I’m very sorry to hear that. Colds are the worst. I remember when my son got sick too.” Not only will this help keep the conversation flowing, but it will also show that you are listening and truly empathize with your interlocutor.

7. End the conversation gracefully. Conversations don't last forever, so there's no shame in ending the conversation. If you often find yourself stuck in meaningless conversations or find it awkward to say goodbye, think about possible phrases that can help with this.

   • For example, if you bump into a friend somewhere in a public place, you can say: “Hi, Zhenya! You look great. I’m in a bit of a hurry, see you later, okay?”
   • Brief conversations on the phone or text: “Okay, I'm glad we discussed everything. See you soon!”
   • If you have a long conversation at a social event, you can always end the conversation using the following words: “It was very nice to meet you/talk with you again.”

Who among us, during a date, has not found himself in a situation where it seems that the silence drags on for an eternity? You just want her to like you. We will help! Our 8 simple tips can correct this awkwardness. Remember them and use them when you don’t know how to behave!

The first few dates are difficult, especially if you know almost nothing about her. My thoughts are full of doubts: “What will she think if I start asking her personal questions,” “Will it be appropriate to tell this joke about religion now,” etc.

And so, when you think about what you should and shouldn’t say to someone you don’t know yet, pauses in communication inevitably occur. Of course, this causes discomfort, but remember, you are not the only one who has had this problem. Few people manage to speak without doubt on first dates - but we will destroy stereotypes. Just understand - there are topics that should only be discussed when you are already quite familiar.

If you one day find yourself in a situation where there is nothing left to do but fiddle with your wet fingers in excitement and pull an unexpectedly tight collar away from your neck, remember our advice. Learn to fill those awkward pauses, and you will never have to feel nervous in front of your interlocutor again.

#1 Always avoid controversial topics in conversation

No matter how much you look forward to the collapse of the financial system, how passionately you advocate for women's right to have an abortion, or how enthusiastically you might talk about the president's democratic (non-democratic) policies, leave these topics for later. After all, you still don’t know if the interlocutor has just recently invested her savings, supports the abolition of legal abortion, or even, ironically, is somehow connected with the president.

In general, stay away from topics that can lead to serious disagreements. Despite the fact that the argument can turn out to be very friendly and even fun, and not just aggressive, hold back these passions until better times, when you know more about your interlocutor. The only thing worse than awkward silence on a date is the start of an argument about nonsense.

If you feel like the conversation is getting into a hot and controversial topic, take a step back and be the first to say something like, “How about we save this interesting conversation for later and discuss this topic now?” After that, offer some light material for discussion, whatever comes to mind, and see how the dialogue continues.

#2 And also avoid topics about the past.

Remember that it is advisable to avoid discussing the past, unless, of course, the topic suddenly comes up. The interlocutor’s attempts to gently avoid explaining why they broke up with their former flame, or why they have been quarreling with their parents for a long time, are not the best options on the first date. Questions about the past will most often lead to awkward pauses.

Try to defuse the situation by turning the arrows on yourself. If you don't mind talking about your past, then say something. Just remember that you need to talk only about interesting and positive things, and also not laugh too loudly. To divert attention to yourself, you can say something like: “My relationship with my mother was bad, but she baked wonderful coconut cookies that reminded me of the beach. By the way, do you like to spend time by the sea?”

#3 Recognizing Silence

One of the most effective ways to defuse an awkward situation is to honestly acknowledge it. After a pause in the conversation, you can say something like, “Yeah, that was awkward. Let’s better go there / let’s see what else you can order / I’ll be right back, wait here) / (go to next tip).” After this, you can give a good compliment or start a completely new topic of conversation.

No. 4 Relatives and friends

When you feel backed into a corner by the lack of topics for conversation and the hanging silence, counterattack the awkward situation by inviting the interlocutor to talk about her friends and family. Most people relax and feel more comfortable talking about their loved ones.

It doesn't matter what it's about. Whether it's a story about hitchhiking with a friend at university or a description of a retro-themed birthday party for your nephew, you can glean interesting information about the interlocutor and find new leads for subsequent conversations. For example: “I have a five-year-old cousin, and she is already sure that she will be a doctor. You can't imagine what she does to her parents when they play with her. By the way, as a child I wanted to become an archaeologist. And you?"

#5 Where did you travel?

By talking about our huge and beautiful world, you can start a surprisingly pleasant conversation. Ask your interlocutor about the places he has already visited and what he liked most about it. You can continue with a story about your own travels, about the people you met there, about the food you tried, about the sights you admired.

Even the most avid traveler will be captivated by your story of eating fried scorpions in one of the cafes in Cambodia. If your interlocutor has nothing special to brag about in terms of tourism, start speak first about where else you would like to go and ask a question about it.

#6 Ask about personal achievements

People love to talk about themselves. One's own experiences, which consist of ups and downs, make a person who he is today. As a rule, people are happy to talk about it. Even if your interlocutor is only taking his first steps up the career ladder, he will still have something to talk about, about difficult and fun moments at work, about an evil boss, etc.

If you and your interlocutor do not want to talk about work on the first date, forgive her for what you already know. For example, “I was told that you are great at making good cocktails. How did your culinary experience begin?

#7 Free time

Another good way to behave on a date is to talk about your free time. This is not just a neutral topic, but a good way to find out what the other person likes and doesn’t like. Just by asking what he likes to do in his free time, you can understand whether you should invite him to go to the shooting range, join him in rock climbing, or spend one of his dates on the dance floor. By the way, if there is a sudden pause next time, these topics can be used again.

You can start by talking about your preferences. “I recently completed one level of Hatha yoga and am planning to sign up for the next one. What do you like to do on the weekend? Perhaps after a new level of yoga, I will be able to tell you more about its benefits, and you will also want to take these classes.”

#8 Suggest joint activities

If you are in doubt about how to behave correctly on a date, you can suggest that your interlocutor do something together to talk less. This method will defuse the situation and will most likely lead you to a new topic of conversation.

If the date is at a bar or restaurant, suggest going out dancing. While walking, you can treat a girl to ice cream or play a little word game.

Take inspiration from what surrounds you two at the moment if you can't come up with a joint activity. For example, “Such quiet music here, like a lullaby. I like more active rhythms, what is your taste in music?

If none of the suggested tips help, try your last resort - a couple of cocktails. Perhaps after them you will still be able to talk. If this method does not produce results, most likely the two of you are not on the same path.

These eight simple tips on what to do on a first date are now always at your fingertips in any situation. But don’t worry if suddenly even they couldn’t help in your communication. It happens that two people simply cannot “connect” to each other on an emotional level. In any case, try further, but with someone else.

Interjections in English or how to fill pauses in a conversation with a foreigner?

You are probably familiar with this situation: while communicating with a foreigner, you are thinking about a thought in order to formulate it correctly in another language, and your interlocutor decides that you did not understand his remark or question. Or another situation: you speak very slowly, take long pauses, and it becomes unclear to the interlocutor whether you want to say something else or have already completed your thought.

How to avoid awkward situations in communication?

The most important thing is to show with your facial expressions and motor skills that you understand what was said and are going to answer the question. Simply put, put on a thinking face. In this case, it is better to overdo it and overact, but still show with facial expressions the mental processes taking place inside you, rather than standing with a straight face. In the second case, the foreigner will definitely think that you did not understand anything, and communication will be difficult.

While you are thinking and choosing the right words, there will be a pause. A long pause in a conversation always creates an unpleasant impression, so it is advisable to fill it somehow. As in Russian, we can use interjections for this.

This doesn't have to be the situation in which you answer the question. It happens that you yourself tell something, but forget the word. While you are remembering, there is a pause again. To fill it out, you can use these short inserts:

Native speakers often insert constructions such as:

sort of...or kind of... - translated into Russian as “type”, “sort of like”

Speakers can shorten these constructions in colloquial speech to the following form:

sorta...kinda...

For example:

He’s sorta a banker - he’s kind of a banker
I’m kinda busy - well, I’m kinda busy

These are colloquial constructions and, of course, you would not use them in formal speech.

You may also find the following words useful:

right... - exactly, okay

ok - okay, good

In addition, you may find these phrases useful:

hold on - wait, wait. If you use it during a telephone conversation, it will mean “don't hang up, wait, hang up.”
let's see - let me think

What to do if you don't know a word?

There are other reasons why awkward pauses in conversation occur. For example, you may simply not know the word or phrase that your interlocutor uses. There is nothing wrong with this, because we live in a world where many new words appear every day, and old ones fall out of use or acquire new meanings, slang and idioms appear. You might meet someone from the old school who uses some old-fashioned buzzwords, or you might find yourself interacting with a Canadian or an Australian from the outback. Agree, dialects can sometimes be very bizarre, including in the Russian language.

What would be the best solution in this situation? Learn absolutely all the words? It sounds attractive, especially if you use Advance technology, with which you can really learn any number of words. However, this will be a difficult task for another reason. The fact is that some words may fall out of use before you have a chance to use them.

Therefore, as soon as you hear a word or phrase that you do not understand or do not fully understand, seize the chance to enrich your vocabulary, and do not blink or look away. Two simple questions will help you.

What is “...”? - What's happened "..."? (instead of an ellipsis, insert an unknown word)
What does “...” mean? - What does “...” mean? (instead of an ellipsis, insert an unknown word)

For example, your interlocutor says: “I like jogging in the park.” And you don’t know what jogging is. In this situation you should ask: What is jogging? - What is “jogging”?

We do not recommend simply repeating an incomprehensible word with a questioning intonation: jogging? jogging?! Your interlocutors may think that you simply did not hear the word. It's better to ask a question. With rare exceptions, your interlocutors are ready to help you master the language, so they will happily agree to explain the meaning of the word.

Remember this small list of words from lively conversational speech and try to use them during your next conversation in a foreign language. You will notice that the dialogue will become more lively, real and relaxed.