How to communicate with subordinates so that they are respected. Rules and advice for a manager on how to communicate with a subordinate

The leader's behavior influences the relationship between the boss and the subordinate. In some teams, specialists idolize their leaders, while in others they feel fear when entering the office for the next meeting. Some departments work like good clockwork, even when the manager is absent from the workplace. While employees of other departments drink coffee and discuss personal news. Let's figure out which management skills of heads of departments and services influence the organization of effective work teams, and which ones actively ruin them.

Rules for communication between a manager and subordinates

Communication with subordinates is an art that needs to be learned. By managing an organization's most valuable resource—its employees—you can either achieve outstanding results or fail to perform simple work tasks well.

The most effective managers are able to communicate with their subordinates in such a way that employees are enthusiastic and interested in their work and value the achievements of the entire team.

The basic rules of communication for such leaders are based on several basic principles:

  • Self-respect and respect of subordinates.
  • Targeted impact on employees.
  • Assessment of achievements.
  • Providing feedback.
  • Regular monitoring of task completion.

Both managers and subordinates, when gaining work experience, acquire a lot of stereotypes along with it:

  • bosses believe that their employees are not much different from everyone else;
  • Employees often expect criticism rather than praise.

It’s bad that a manager can afford to tell a subordinate that he has not lived up to his trust and is not much different from others. Such phrases greatly reduce employee motivation.

It is important to carefully study the results achieved and use constructive criticism aimed exclusively at work or tasks performed incorrectly, and not at your attitude towards mistakes in general.

It should be remembered that any unfounded generalization leads to a deterioration in mutual understanding between the boss and the subordinate.

Let's get into the situation

One of the mistakes managers make is considering the work situation as a typical one, which was once already in their experience. This gives rise to a large number of stereotypical decisions, instructions and orders that are distributed to subordinates.

As a result, there is not a single leader who would not say at least once in his career: “How did I miss... Why didn’t you tell me...”. This happens because the situation is assessed inattentively, without taking into account the nuances and influence of new conditions.

Therefore, in order to form effective ones, it is important study the situation before taking action or motivating employees to take action.

We weigh decisions

Solving a problem quickly is often considered a necessary skill. But in fact, high speed does not always guarantee the most positive effect. This is especially true for decisions related to punishing subordinates for failure to complete or poor performance of assigned tasks.

If emotions run high, then there is a high probability that the chosen punishment will be unnecessarily harsh.

Therefore, before making a decision, you need to calm down and check for yourself whether what is supposed to be a punishment is adequate for the offense.

We give feedback

Feedback and the ability to provide it is one of the most important skills of any leader. The responsible employee is interested in receiving an assessment of his actions - both right and wrong. Understand how satisfied the company is with his work.

Feedback allows

  • analyze the results of work together with a subordinate;
  • understand the reasons for failures;
  • praise for high performance;
  • create motivation for change and development;
  • correct the employee's actions.

Basic principles of feedback transmission

  1. Timeliness. The assessment should be provided soon after the event or task is completed, not a week or month later.
  2. Specificity. It is necessary to discuss specific actions, and not the entire work experience of the specialist.
  3. Feedback is a dialogue between a subordinate and a manager, and not a monologue from a boss. It is necessary to ask the subordinate’s opinion about what happened, his vision of the situation, and the solutions that he himself could propose to correct it.
  4. Prohibition on discussing the personality of a subordinate. Only a specific action or fact can be discussed, but not the person himself and his professionalism as a whole.
  5. Focus on obtaining a specific result, and not on the process of discussing the situation itself.
  6. With the doors closed. Communication must be strictly individual, without the presence of third parties. If criticism is made during the delivery of feedback, the presence of strangers will sharply reduce the subordinate's motivation to change behavior.

Clear position of the leader

The manager’s inability to adhere to his point of view and constant changes in attitude towards work situations worsen relationships with subordinates.

Employees consider such a boss to be inconsistent, unsure of himself and his decisions.

If, for some reason, the manager has not yet formed an opinion, then it is better to first understand the situation, and only then voice his point of view to employees.

Team management is not only about setting tasks and monitoring their implementation. Not all employees have sufficient experience to complete the task efficiently. Taking this into account, you need to be ready to help the employee with advice and give additional time. In some cases, temporarily assign a more experienced employee.

We set specific goals

A clear statement of the goal is the key to obtaining a quality result. Aimless work gives rise to the feeling of useless work without end and beginning, going to work for the sake of the process, not the result.

To increase employee motivation, it is important that goals helped the professional development of specialists. Showed how employees work allows the company to solve ambitious problems.

If completing a task involves achieving several goals, you need to prioritize, showing which ones are the most important.

Assessing the consequences

When making any management decision, the manager is obliged to assess how it will affect not only the overall production process, but also the further interaction of subordinates with each other. This is especially true for rewarding and punishing employees, resolving situations and internal contradictions in the team.

It is also important to assess the influence of the leader’s behavior and his management style on the general climate in the department: Does the boss add enthusiasm and motivation to work, or discourages the desire to complete tasks?.

We control the results

Lack of control over task completion breeds irresponsibility. Each employee must know that the task assigned to him will be checked. Any result, even the most ineffective, can be regarded as satisfactory if there is no control.

But even if the deadlines for completing a task are determined, and in the end there is no control on the part of the boss, then employees get used to the fact that their work is not checked. The department will show poor performance in the future.

We evaluate ourselves soberly

At some point in time, individual managers develop the illusion of permissiveness, since only the result is important, and the people performing the tasks are a variable value.

There is only one cure in this situation - healthy self-criticism. And subordinates will quickly signal to such a leader that he is going beyond what is permitted: more complaints from employees arise against the boss, refusals to obey orders appear, specialists openly declare that they deserve respect, and not constant prodding and criticism addressed to them.

Effective managers always define their development horizons and strive to learn new technologies for managing personnel and production processes.

By following the basic principles of business communication, the manager will be able to achieve high results in the work of the department, and employees will be happy to come to work and complete assigned tasks.

The boss and subordinates are at different levels, so it can be very difficult for them to understand each other. Such misunderstanding often results in open hostility and conflicts that decompose the atmosphere in the team and show the leader in an unsightly light. Barriers arise between the subordinate and the boss, sometimes insurmountable. To understand a subordinate, a manager needs to try to imagine himself in his place, and this is not so difficult, since the future boss, before becoming one, also played the role of a subordinate. Each leader has his own and.

How to communicate correctly with subordinates

Without being able to correctly evaluate a person, to understand what was guiding him at the moment of making this or that decision, the leader himself becomes a hostage to the situation. By attaching stereotypical labels to everyone, you can lose the trust of your subordinates. But stereotypes (“bad”, “good”) in standard cases make it easier to understand people.

Managers often encounter typical mistakes in their interactions with subordinates. Thus, a boss who is out of his usual rut may make a hasty decision. After “cooling down,” he can change his view of the problem. Having already once found himself in an unpleasant situation, the boss will intuitively avoid it without understanding the details. Or, underestimating the significance of the problem, the manager leaves it without a solution. Poorly assessing employee perspectives can negatively impact outcomes.

Read also: Is waking up early a trait of a successful person?

Many subordinates use such a phenomenon as psychological games in relation to their boss and the team. They choose a model of behavior and try to get benefits through it:

  • "Kazan Orphan"“- the subordinate deliberately avoids the manager, does not complete the assigned task, justifying such behavior by the lack of interest of his superiors, and may complain to higher management;
  • "I'm being torn apart"– presenting oneself as a victim due to heavy employment and workload, irrational distribution of one’s capabilities leads to failure to complete the chosen block of work;
  • "Holy Simplicity"– through feigned openness and gullibility, the subordinate arouses pity for himself and thereby shifts his responsibilities to others;
  • "Clown"– ease, cheerfulness, eccentricity makes it possible to put off work for the sake of entertaining comrades, instills confidence in the correctness of such jokes and “dumping” responsibilities onto others;
  • "Oh, how good I am"- a random phrase about success, a small favor puts the figure of this subordinate at the level of authority and example among colleagues, which is the main goal of this character.

Such games interfere with the progress of work and, trying to establish labor discipline, the boss may use punishment against his subordinates. Reprimands, censures and other forms should be used to the extent that they do not damage the level of respect of the subordinate. Through punishment, he must realize his guilt, but at the same time not break contact with the leader. Just like punishment, encouragement should be used in measured amounts. Excessive reliance on this method leads to familiar communication and dissatisfaction.

The essence of the relationship between a boss and a subordinate seems extremely simple: the boss orders, controls and accepts the work of the subordinate, the subordinate carries out the tasks given to him. But if everything were so simple, managers would not have the question “How to behave with a subordinate?”

In the old days, few bosses bothered to build favorable relationships with subordinates. People worked without sleep or rest for mere pennies (slaves and serfs for free), and the attitude of management towards them was indifferent, dismissive and often cruel.

And nowadays, unfortunately, there are bosses immoral and dishonest that do not take into account the legal rights and interests of employees. These are those cases when “people are not considered people.”

Unscrupulous employers take advantage of the fact that today many people are ready to work like slaves, “for food” or out of fear that if they quit an unloved and intolerable job, they will not be able to find another one (often this is not just fear, but the reality of unemployment). This is a relevant and painful topic for many that requires separate consideration.

In the twentieth century, workers began to perform a special, “protective” function trade unions. They were created in order to resolve conflict situations in the team and protect workers from the arbitrariness of their superiors.

Today, trade unions also function, but life in the 21st century is such that each person gets used to relying only on himself and his own strengths and does not have much hope that in case of trouble with his superiors, the team or trade union will help him.

Labor relations between employee and employer today regulated by legislative acts, the main one of which is the Labor Code. But the law, unfortunately, is not always followed by everyone. For an employee to work conscientiously, and for the boss to treat him with respect, it is not enough to know the laws and remember the responsibilities described in the employment contract and job description.

Nowadays, only a bad boss does not think about establishing correct, trusting, but at the same time taking into account subordination, relationships with the people working under his leadership.

Management today understands that the “first fiddle” in the success and efficiency of an enterprise is played by the employee’s desire to work, which directly depends from attitude to superiors and the immediate supervisor.

An increasing number of employers stimulate employees not with “sticks”, but with “carrots”.

What does it mean to be subordinate?

A modern subordinate is not an obedient slave or an uncomplaining worker, he is a person with ambitions, needs for self-realization, respect, recognition, he is an educated and qualified professional, with a high IQ and creative potential.

Despite the fact that the principle of dominance and submission reigns at the formal level, real good working relationships between superiors and subordinates are built on equal terms.

Today, if a boss does not respect the legal rights of an employee, does not respect him and shows his personal hostility through raised voices, unconstructive criticism, insults, harassment, and so on, the employee has the right to resign. He is not obligated to stay and try to improve relations with his boss if he does not want to.

But the boss has a different situation. If he wants the work to progress and his subordinates to work “excellently,” he must try to build good relationships with them, otherwise he is guaranteed constant staff turnover.

It is the manager’s inability to behave competently with subordinates that gives rise to the problem. negative attitude employee to management and their work.

Incorrectly built relationships between superiors and subordinates are often main problem, although bosses tend to think that all the problems are due to the fact that their charges are lazy, stupid or incompetent.

How to command without commanding?

Both superiors and subordinates usually complain about misunderstanding and unwillingness to understand each other, but in fact the problem is rejection the personality of the superior to the subordinate and/or vice versa, that is, in personal antipathy and unwillingness to cooperate.

Working communication between a boss and a subordinate, roughly speaking, boils down to the fact that the first gives orders, and the second listens to them and begins to carry them out. Therefore, the boss, first of all, needs to learn give orders correctly.

It is much better when the leader does not force, but convinces subordinate to perform this or that task. This democratic approach to management when a subordinate feels not like a puppet or a simple performer, but an ally, a confidant, and a participant in a common cause.

Example:

  1. Compulsion: “Write the report before lunch, otherwise you will be reprimanded.”
  2. Belief: “Please try to write the report before lunch. There is little time, but I believe in you. If you have time, we will submit the report faster than other departments and will distinguish ourselves favorably.”
  1. Address your subordinate by name. There are different forms of address, but it is not so important to use “You” or “You”, with or without a patronymic to address a subordinate (here everything is decided by the education and intelligence of a particular person), as the very fact of respectful, personal address to a person by name . Just “You”, “He”/“She”, a rude “Hey you!” or the derogatory “That one in the gray jacket!” insults and immediately turns against.
  2. Communicate in a constructive or neutral-positive manner. A work conversation is not a communication between two friends or enemies, it is a business conversation between partners, it should take place on equal terms. It is equally bad when a manager enters into too warm a relationship with a subordinate and when he openly expresses his hostility, endlessly unjustifiably criticizes, scolds, and scolds.

Less negativity! If you criticize, then constructively and face to face, and not in public! It’s better to once again praise the employee for his efforts, even if he did something wrong, smile at him and express confidence that next time everything will work out as it should.


Dismissive, superior or rude tone of speech, ridicule, sarcasm, insults and other verbal aggression are absolutely unacceptable.

  1. Speak in a “understandable” language. If it is known in advance that a subordinate will not understand complex words and terms, it is better to avoid them or explain their meaning immediately after pronouncing them.
  2. Ask questions and get advice. If the task is pronounced in a question form (“Can you do this work again tomorrow?”) or as a request for advice (“What do you think, if we do this...?”), it is perceived not as an order, but as a request.

It is better to use this technique not too often and not with every employee. If an employee, for example, wants to take the place of his manager, he may take such generosity and loyalty as weakness and “sit on his head,” and then “go over his head.”


Even if a person is in the right place and likes the job, he cannot work “for thanks.” As long as money rules the world, workers will work for wages.

But the fact is that the salary, as a rule, remains the same whether the employee works, putting his soul into it, or does the job “just to get it done.”

For the organization to be successful and the team to work like a well-oiled machine, workers need motivate both material and immaterial. An employee must see personal benefit in order for him to have interest to work, and not just the desire to somehow work out the quota and go home.

Type of authoritative leader and types of subordinates

Subordinates are more pleasant, more efficient and more willing to work with those bosses whom they respect and whose authority they recognize.

To be respected by subordinates boss, recommended become:


When a boss knows about the professional capabilities, inclinations, talents, interests of his subordinate and takes them into account, he is perceived not as a “Cerberus”, but as a mentor.

Although every employee is special, there is a classification types of subordinates depending on the degree of their effectiveness in work:


This is not the only classification of types of subordinates, but knowledge of even one classification can tell you how to find an approach to a particular employee.

Exactly ability to combine an individual approach to each employee and the choice of soft, democratic methods of managing the entire team is the answer to the question of how to behave with subordinates.

  1. I. K. Adizes “The Ideal Leader. Why you can’t become one and what follows from this”
  2. D. Sherwood “Systems thinking for managers. Practice of solving business problems”
  3. K. McGoff The art of managing. 46 key principles and tools of a leader”
  4. I. Nemirovsky, I. Starozhukova “Outstanding leader. How to ensure a business breakthrough and make your company an industry leader”
  5. V. Zima “Leader’s Tools”

Do you consider a soft, democratic management style to be the best?

Many people mistakenly believe that once they take a leadership position, they can relax and just enjoy life. In fact, a boss is a responsible and serious position that requires maximum concentration from a person. In addition to performing his direct duties, the manager will also have to establish contacts with subordinates.

In the first weeks and even months after the appointment of a new boss, all company employees will look closely at the boss, analyze his words, actions, deeds, etc. That is why it is very important when communicating with subordinates to correctly build a communication strategy and know what not to say to your employees.

I don't believe that you can achieve anything just by ordering people to do this or that.
You must, figuratively speaking, take the oar and row with them.
Harold Jenin

The power of words

A correctly chosen strategy for communicating with your team will help you avoid many problems. A good boss must always control what and how he says; the success of the teamwork between the boss and the team largely depends on this.


There are many examples in history that the power of words can convince a person to perform a certain action or deed. Therefore, a leader must, first of all, become a good speaker who can not only give orders, but also maintain the enthusiasm of his subordinates.

Prohibited phrases when communicating with subordinates

If you want to gain the support of employees, try to exclude certain phrases and expressions from your speech:

1. “We’ve always done it this way.”

Instead of using this dubious argument, try to make a convincing argument in favor of your point of view. Do not put pressure on your subordinates with your authority, but on the contrary, show that you are ready to compromise and look for the right solution together.

2. “Figure it out yourself (yourself)”

If an employee turns to you for help, then most likely he has already tried all possible ways to complete the task and now needs your advice.

3. “Your predecessor did a better job.”

This is a very offensive remark that will definitely hurt the employee’s pride. You should not compare (at least out loud) your subordinates. Criticism should be constructive: it is best to say what exactly the employee is doing wrong rather than getting personal.

4. “You’re lucky they hired you at all.”

This phrase, pronounced by the boss with the appropriate intonation, can cause only one desire in the subordinate - to look for a new place.

5. “I don’t need your explanation.”

Even if you are very angry and do not want to talk to the employee, find the strength to calm down and listen to him. Remember that dialogue is the path to compromise.

6. “I watch you all the time.”

A boss is not a kindergarten teacher who controls every move of employees. Give your subordinates more freedom, only in this case their work will become more productive.

7. “This is a stupid idea.”

You should not give such an assessment to the judgments of your colleagues (even if you really think so). Try to soften the phrase: “This is not exactly what we need,” “Continue to work in this direction,” etc.

8. “I knew you couldn’t handle it.”

Before you say it out loud, think about the fact that the employee who failed the task is already having a hard time. Try not to aggravate the situation, but, on the contrary, to support a subordinate whose self-esteem is at zero.

How to make a career, or Psychology of communication at work Lemaite Kristina

Section VII Communication with subordinates

Section VII

Communication with subordinates

Preface to the section

Everyone knows that good leaders are not born, they are made. Some people find it very difficult to lead people because they constantly feel unsure of their own abilities and are overcome by doubts about whether they can do everything right. As a rule, if such a person does not take charge of himself in time, does not try to change his view of things, and does not stop being afraid of people, he will hardly be able to successfully build a career.

In this section, we offer you some tips that will help you establish excellent relationships with the team where you act as a boss, make the work of your subordinates better and more efficient, and also tell you what you need to do to advance in your career.

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