In order not to be too gullible, you should objectively assess what is happening. Use your critical thinking and trust only verified facts. Learn to analyze what is happening, and not live only by feelings. After all, in the future it will be easier for you to go through life.

Read detective stories, play logic games, solve riddles. All this will help develop your analytical skills. In practice, before you trust a person, think about whether there are any obvious inconsistencies in his behavior or words and the circumstances of the current situation, and whether this individual may have some hidden motives.

Learn from mistakes

You will quickly understand how necessary it is to get rid of excessive gullibility when you begin to learn from your own mistakes. Remember how you suffered from blindly believing others. Remember the unpleasant situations you have found yourself in and think about whether your naivety was to blame.

If you don’t have enough life examples, read the works of classics of world literature. Through deep, psychological novels you will see how cunning people can be. Don't think that those around you are as open and sincere as you are. Some of them may use naive women for their own purposes.

Live in reality

It's time for you to grow up and get rid of your naivety. Understand that you are responsible for your own life, and you will not always have a mentor next to you to look after you. Watch news releases, read newspapers, keep abreast of the latest events in the country and the world.

Learn to recognize those who are trying to take advantage of your kindness. Having seen through the deceivers a couple of times, you will understand how recklessly you acted, recklessly trusting people. Compare the facts, check the words of the person who is asking you for something, ask him additional questions.

Stop wishful thinking. Do not fence yourself off from objective reality with your dreams, do not idealize what is happening, otherwise, because of your gullibility, you risk getting into real trouble. Therefore, it is worth exercising prudence and treating people more warily and vigilantly.

Naivety in love

Sometimes women themselves allow themselves to be deceived when it comes to relationships. Such naivety is a consequence of the fear of loneliness. The girl is frightened by the prospect of breaking up with the young man, so she deliberately turns a blind eye to some alarming signals in his behavior and the situation in the couple. Such gullibility will not protect you from separation. If he is next to you, sooner or later you will suffer from his betrayal, no matter how persistently you turn a blind eye to the obvious facts.

To get rid of naivety in relation to men, you need to become a strong, self-sufficient person. Appreciate and love yourself. Increase your self-esteem and belief in your own irresistibility. Consider life without a partner not as loneliness, but as freedom, an opportunity for self-realization and development. As a reward for a sober outlook on life, fate will give you a real man who will not deceive you.

50 main psychological traps and ways to avoid them Medyankin Nikolay

What is the danger of excessive gullibility?

An overly trusting person is easy to deceive - this is the main danger of gullibility. He can suffer from this in everyday life, in professional activities, and in his personal life. A trusting person is not inclined to check those with whom he is going to deal (be it a seller, a company providing services, an employer, or just an acquaintance who asked to borrow money and vows to return it). A trusting person judges by himself: it seems to him that since he is not able to deceive anyone, then he will not be deceived either. He is afraid of appearing too suspicious or distrustful if he asks for some guarantees that he will not be deceived. As a result, every now and then there is a risk of being deceived.

The personal life of a person characterized by excessive gullibility also suffers - after all, he does not know how to distinguish true love from its surrogates. Not very decent people can take advantage of this. Moreover, the gullible person himself will not notice that he is simply being manipulated and taken advantage of. He will naively believe that this is how true love manifests itself.

Trusting people are considered good and kind - and that’s what they are. But they often turn into losers, because they do not know how to stand up for themselves and defend their rights. But getting rid of excessive gullibility does not mean becoming distrustful. This means learning to look at life and people soberly, learning that you shouldn’t believe everyone without exception, starting to notice when other people are sincere and truthful, and when their behavior shows falsehood and deception.

Then your life will become much more successful, while you will maintain your goodwill and openness to the world and people.

Exercise 1.

Become a source of good feelings for yourself

To learn to distinguish whether other people have truly warm feelings for you, or whether they are simply deceiving you, imitating these feelings in order to take advantage of your gullibility, you need to feel and realize exactly how genuine kindness and sincere warmth are perceived by you.

Keep in mind - regardless of our life experiences, regardless of whether we have experienced sincere expressions of love and kindness towards us since childhood - within each of us there is a genuine knowledge of how true love manifests itself. We have this knowledge in our hearts, and no matter how metaphysical this phrase may sound, it reflects reality. This is an innate feeling of every person - a special flair for manifestations of genuine spiritual warmth. From a lack of such experience in life, this instinct may become dulled, but it never completely disappears. You can awaken it within yourself.

It happens that in childhood, parents punish their child, scold him, and at the same time say that they love him. The child begins to believe that love is certainly accompanied by negative emotions that arise due to scolding and punishment. Having become an adult, he subconsciously begins to look for these negative emotions - that is, he prefers to love those who will scold him or otherwise show their bad attitude. To stop the continuous series of suffering associated with this, we must remember that true love is not associated with negative emotions. Love is a kind, warm feeling - a feeling that each of us can experience, even regardless of the attitude of other people.

To tune yourself into its perception, sit or lie down in a comfortable, relaxed position. Breathe easily, silently, freely, slowly. Direct your attention to the heart area. Release the tension from your chest, imagine that your chest is straightening, opening, with breathing, let more and more air into it, but do not strain - let the air flow in and out freely, so that your inhalations and exhalations are as full as possible.

Think of something that makes you feel warm and fuzzy. For example, when you look at a child, or a kitten, or admire flowers. Perhaps similar feelings arise when you hold a chocolate bar in your hands and anticipate the pleasure of its taste. The source of these feelings is not so important - the main thing is that you remember and experience them: this is the physical sensation of something warm, soft, pleasant that opens in your chest.

Now imagine that it is with this feeling that you look at yourself. Start treating yourself this way - with kindness, warmth, love, soft tenderness. This is how true love manifests itself. She never maims, criticizes, scolds, but on the contrary, she is able to heal the wounds inflicted by other people.

You can learn to accept yourself as you are, without putting conditions and without making claims - because true love does not put conditions and makes no claims. This will mean that you have discovered a source of genuine good feelings within yourself. And if a person has discovered this source in himself, then no one can deceive him by passing off their surrogate as genuine feelings.

Exercise 2.

Learn to trust yourself

If you are too trusting, and others take advantage of this to deceive you, then you trust other people more than yourself. But you know yourself much better than others. Believe that it is worth trusting yourself more. We sometimes need doubts, but only to a certain extent. Listen to yourself, to your feelings. If you don’t like something in the behavior of other people, it seems unpleasant, unacceptable - believe me, you have the right to it. And you have reasons for this. The inner voice does not fail those who know how to trust it.

And if you suddenly suspect some kind of insincerity in the behavior of another person, do not brush this feeling aside, do not say to yourself: “It seemed like it.” It’s better to check whether there are any real grounds for your seemingly no apparent reason for the mistrust that has arisen.

Affirmations will help you learn to trust yourself more. They must be said in front of a mirror, looking into the eyes of your reflection.

The person closest to me is myself! There is no one closer. I myself am the greatest value! I value myself, I respect myself, I take care of myself, I only want the best for myself!

I know and understand myself well. I feel very good about myself! I have every reason to trust myself!

I trust myself completely and completely! I am trustworthy!

My own opinion, my feelings, my impressions are what deserve primary attention! I listen carefully to my sensations, feelings, thoughts and trust them!

First of all, I trust myself, and only then - other people!

I have the right to independently judge people, things and phenomena! I have the right to independently evaluate myself and everything that happens around me! I have the right to trust only my own assessments, without asking anyone for advice and without even listening to the opinions of other people!

I am my own best friend! I know better than anyone what is good for me and what is bad. My intuition always works! I always act in such a way as to bring maximum benefit, joy and pleasure for myself!

Exercise 3.

Trust, but verify!

There are situations when it is impossible to verify information using objective methods - for example, when someone confesses their love to you or assures you of their sincere friendly feelings. Here all that remains is to listen to your inner voice and honestly ask yourself: do you believe in this because it seems true to you, or only because you want to believe and voluntarily succumb to the illusion, turning a blind eye to the vague feeling that “something is not right here?” So"?

But in many other cases, information can and should be verified. For example, when you are offered a product or service, encouraged to take part in some business, convinced of the benefits of some proposals, or simply conveyed “in secret” someone’s opinion about you. Make it a rule to make inquiries at the slightest suspicion of insincerity and deception: consult with knowledgeable people, ask those you trust if what they told you is true, look on the Internet for responses from people who have encountered something similar.

In short, find as many other sources of information as possible, get different opinions, get to know different perspectives on the situation. Don’t rush to draw conclusions, first figure out where the truth is and where the lies are. This way you will save yourself from many troubles.