Self-esteem plays a very important role in organizing effective management of one’s behavior; without it, it is difficult or even impossible to determine one’s self in life.
A person’s relationships with others, his criticality, self-demandingness, and attitude toward successes and failures depend on self-esteem. Self-esteem is closely related to the level of a person’s aspirations, that is, the degree of difficulty of the goals that he sets for himself. The discrepancy between a person’s aspirations and real capabilities leads to the fact that he begins to evaluate himself incorrectly, as a result of which his behavior becomes inadequate (emotional breakdowns, increased anxiety, etc. occur). Self-esteem receives objective expression in how a person evaluates the capabilities and results of the activities of others (for example, he belittles them with inflated self-esteem).
The first to identify the type of family situation that forms a positive self-concept in a child was Scott. Having studied 1,800 teenagers, he found that those who have an atmosphere of mutual respect and trust between parents and children at home, a willingness to accept each other, are more adjusted in life, independent, and have higher self-esteem. On the contrary, teenagers from families where there is discord are less well adjusted.
Virginia N. Quinn puts it this way: “Children with low self-esteem lack self-confidence and have little self-esteem. They are more likely to have difficulty communicating with other children, who, in turn, are reluctant to accept them. As a result, children with negative self-concepts often develop behavioral problems and are treated less favorably by peers, teachers, sports coaches, and other group leaders. And this “undermines” the self-esteem of such children even more. There have been cases when problems with the “I” concept that arose in the first grade affected the child’s entire future life.”
Thus, high self-esteem develops in children in families characterized by cohesion and solidarity. The mother's attitude towards her husband is more positive here. In the eyes of a child, parents are always successful. He readily follows the behavioral patterns they set, persistently and successfully solves the daily tasks that confront him, as he feels confident in his abilities. He is less susceptible to stress and anxiety, and perceives the world around him and himself kindly and realistically.
Boys with high self-esteem have a higher level of aspirations. Thus, children with high self-esteem set higher goals for themselves and are more likely to achieve success. And, conversely, children with low self-esteem are characterized by very modest goals and uncertainty about the possibility of achieving them.
Coopersmith describes boys with high self-esteem this way: they are independent, self-sufficient, sociable, and convinced of the success of any task entrusted to them. This self-confidence helps them stick to their opinions, allows them to defend their views and judgments in controversial situations, and makes them receptive to new ideas. Self-confidence, along with a sense of self-worth, gives rise to conviction that one is right and courage to express one’s beliefs. This attitude and corresponding expectations provide them not only with a more independent status in social relations, but also with considerable creative potential and the ability for energetic and positive social actions. They usually take an active position in group discussions. By their own admission, they do not experience any particular difficulties getting close to new people; they are ready to express their opinion, knowing that it will be met with hostility. An important feature of children with high self-esteem is that they are less preoccupied with their internal problems.
“High self-esteem,” says R. Burns, “provides good mastery of social contact techniques and allows an individual to show his worth without making much effort. The child acquired the ability to cooperate in the family, the confidence that he is surrounded by love, care and attention. All this creates a solid foundation for his social development.”
The behavior of people with high self-esteem is the opposite of the pattern of behavior of people experiencing depression, which is well known to psychotherapists. The latter are characterized by passivity, lack of self-confidence, in the correctness of their observations and judgments; they do not find the strength to influence other people, resist them, and cannot easily and without internal hesitation express their opinion.
Poor self-esteem, Sanford and Donovan say, is at the root of many of the problems women may have, from overeating to alcoholism. “If we don't love ourselves, we marry men unworthy of us, choose jobs that are too easy for our capabilities, and make other mistakes, ranging from poisoning ourselves with drugs to too much tolerance, which is based on, Sanford notes. lies in our opinion that we deserve it." Research shows that self-deprecating ("if only...") behaviors, such as focusing on one's shortcomings or exaggerating the importance of failure, are associated with depression. According to the American Psychological Association, low self-esteem is clearly an important factor in the development of depression. Low self-esteem has been cited as a factor influencing the high prevalence of depression among women, who suffer from depression twice as often as men.
“Self-esteem is an important factor, since it reflects a person’s confidence in his professional and personal strengths, his self-esteem and adequacy to what is happening. Optimal - high self-esteem, self-respect with a sober (realistic) assessment of one’s capabilities and abilities. Low self-esteem leads to “learned helplessness” - a person gives up in advance in the face of difficulties and problems, since he is still not capable of anything. Inflated self-esteem is fraught with excessive demands for attention to one’s person and rash decisions.”
Much of what a person does or refuses to do depends on the person's level of self-worth. T. Shibutani puts it this way: “Those who do not consider themselves particularly talented do not strive for very high goals and do not show disappointment when they fail to do something well... A person who thinks of himself as worthless worthless object, often reluctantly makes efforts to improve his lot. On the other hand, those who value themselves highly often tend to work under greater stress. They consider it beneath their dignity to not work well enough.
L. Peploe, M. Miceli and B. Morali express the opinion that low self-esteem can be both a cause and a consequence of loneliness. They say that low self-esteem is a certain set of opinions and behavior that interferes with the establishment or maintenance of satisfactory social relationships. People with low self-esteem interpret social interactions in a self-deprecating way. They tend to attribute failures in communication to internal, self-blaming factors. Such people react more strongly to calls for communication and refusal to communicate... Individuals with low self-esteem are especially responsive towards partners who are friends and are especially hostile towards partners who reject them... People with low self-esteem interpret ambiguous social exchanges to a greater extent as negative than people with high self-esteem.
“Low self-esteem,” continues L. Peploe, M. Miceli and B. Morali, “affects people’s social behavior. People with low self-esteem experience greater social insecurity and are less prone to take risks in social matters, and are therefore less likely to form new relationships or deepen existing ones.”
Cutrone, Russell, and Peploe found that self-esteem plays an important role in whether first-time college students experience only temporary loneliness or remain lonely for seven months. Students with high self-esteem, already at the beginning of a new academic year, are significantly more predisposed to overcoming their loneliness and successful social adjustment in college than students with low self-esteem.
F. Zimbardo writes that what we think about ourselves has a profound impact on our entire lives. “People who are aware of their own importance tend to spread an aura of satisfaction around themselves. They are less dependent on the support and approval of others because they have learned to stimulate themselves. Such people, with their enterprise and initiative, make the social mechanism rotate, and accordingly they get the lion's share of the benefits provided by society.
People with high self-esteem are not upset when they are criticized and do not fear rejection. They are more likely to be grateful for “constructive advice.” Having received a refusal, they do not perceive it as humiliation of their person. They consider the reasons for it differently: they should have made more efforts, not made a breakthrough; the request was excessive or, conversely, insignificant; the time and place were chosen poorly; the person who refused is suffering from some problems himself and therefore needs understanding. In any case, the reasons for the refusal are not in them, but outside them; these reasons should be analyzed in order to regroup your forces and launch a new offensive with more reliable means. It is easy for such people to be optimistic: they achieve their goals more often than they lose.
A person with low self-esteem, on the other hand, looks lost. He (she) is usually more passive, suggestible and less popular. Such people are overly sensitive to criticism, considering it a confirmation of their inferiority. They also have difficulty accepting compliments... Researchers have noted that people with low self-esteem are generally more neurotic than those with high self-esteem... Highly gifted people can be their own worst enemies if their self-esteem is low. If a person is shy, he usually suffers from low self-esteem; - writes F. Zimbardo, “where self-esteem is high, there is no question of shyness.”
Virginia N. Quinn writes about research conducted by Levanway and Wiley, which led to the conclusion that people with positive “I” concepts tend to be more tolerant of others, it is easier for them to come to terms with their failures, which occur less often for them, since they work more efficiently than people with low self-esteem; high self-esteem is usually combined with such qualities as independence and sincerity; People with positive self-images tend to be self-reliant and therefore more willing to accept criticism and advice.
Continuing to base her judgments on the research of the above authors, Virginia N. Quinn says that people with low self-esteem perceive criticism painfully and tend to blame themselves for all failures; they are easily pressured - “... since they lack self-confidence, they can usually be manipulated; they are susceptible to flattery and criticize others in order to grow in their own eyes; Most people with low self-esteem prefer to work on simple tasks because then they are confident of success. Some studies show that low self-esteem is a contributing factor to fraud, drug use and many types of delinquency.”
T. Shibutani says: “When a person cannot accept himself as he really is, the main efforts are directed towards self-defense rather than towards self-knowledge.”
Tom Schreiter writes, “How we see ourselves determines how we think and determines the decisions we make. If you earn fifty dollars, then you have fifty dollars worth of self-esteem. If you earn ten thousand dollars a month, then you have self-esteem worth ten thousand,” although I do not completely agree with the second statement of this author, since in people’s lives there are situations when this conclusion does not justify itself.
It is self-esteem that performs the function of regulating behavior and activity, since it can correlate a person’s needs and aspirations with his capabilities. Summarizing the views of various researchers, we can come to the conclusion that they are all unanimous in their opinion about the negative impact of inadequate or low self-esteem on a person’s social behavior, that is, on a person’s behavior in society.
Self-knowledge and human spiritual development
Why does a person know himself?
Question: " Does self-esteem influence human behavior?“is inherently incorrect, since any assessment destroys our spiritual essence.
From a psychological point of view, self-esteem is a person’s personal attitude towards himself. And how an individual treats himself determines his behavior in society, which is quite logical. Psychologists distinguish between normal, high and low self-esteem.
However, self-esteem is a product of our mind or brain, a completely material object.
And a person is initially the embodiment of a spirit that comes into the world to learn the lessons of the material level. In other words, the spiritual principle chooses a material body as a friend for the duration of its stay in the material world.
Since man is a spiritual being, then how can he evaluate his Spirit with his mind?!
Self-esteem, as a material level tangible through the senses, is consonant with the words “be good!”
But to man you just have to be , the way the Almighty (God, the Universe) created it.
Just be yourself and being good (pleasing to communicate in society) are mutually exclusive concepts
Learn to be yourself
A person with “normal self-esteem” (interpretation by psychologists), in my opinion, is one of the few on Earth who balanced and able to be himself either from birth or as a result of being raised by balanced parents.
Very few people have genetically inherited a sense of self-worth from their ancestors or grew up in a family where the parents themselves lived with a sense of self-worth and, loving unconditionally, treated their child with respect from infancy.
But most people come into this world learn to be yourself , to be an individual. He comes to correct the mistakes of his ancestors and parents, who have “high” or “low” self-esteem, in the language of psychologists.
Self-esteem arises from internal stress: fear that I'm not like everyone else, malice that everyone doesn’t treat me the way I would like, etc.
Don't agree? Do you think that you have no fears and anger? Then think about how many wishes you have! And every desire is there fear not getting what you want. If you often don’t get what you want, you begin to get angry with yourself, with everyone around you, blame circumstances, etc.
Some people develop low self-esteem: they become timid, unsure of themselves, considering all people smarter, more successful, and happier. They often blame themselves and react painfully to criticism.
Others suffer from high self-esteem. Not satisfied with themselves in their souls, they want to appear better in front of others. Therefore, they behave defiantly, arrogantly, arrogantly. They want everyone to consider them the best, to recognize their superiority. They react aggressively to criticism.
Don't judge yourself, don't question yourself does self-esteem influence human behavior.
What should you do in order not to evaluate yourself, and live in harmony with your soul and spirit, and feel happy?
1. Stop comparing yourself to others and to your past self. You are God's highest creation. You are unique; from birth you have certain talents that you need to discover through trial and error.
2. Stop criticizing and blaming yourself for mistakes in life. After all, if a person does not make mistakes, he will not learn his life lessons and will not correct the mistakes of his ancestors.
3. Love yourself the way God created you! Love unconditionally, forgive yourself for mistakes. Draw conclusions from your mistakes so as not to make them again.
4. Accept each of the people around you for who they are. Don't criticize, don't judge. This is how God created him. Everyone has their own life lessons.
5. Don't try to please everyone. Try be yourself, listen to your heart, not your inflamed mind. The desire to be liked by others is in every person. But don’t let this desire overwhelm you, don’t let it be excessive and destructive for you.
6. Remember that you are a spiritual being. What does it mean?
You cannot see your spiritual essence in reality. But if you look with your heart, you can imagine it.
Imagine a point from which energy waves emanate in different directions. They are endless. This is you, a person, that is, a spiritual being.
Do you have a beginning or an end? No. There is only the center.
Does life have a beginning and an end? By the sky? From God? No. After all, it is the same energy.
Think about it: “I am limitless, life is limitless, God is limitless. The center of my life is in me, and I and my center are in them.” In other words: “Everything is in me, and I am in everything.”
Each of us could see and feel this in our hearts if we did not limit ourselves fears.
Our limitations lead to stress and illness, to low or high self-esteem.
Dear readers, remember that you are the center of everything that exists! Learn to know yourself and the people around you, then life will not be a problem for you. Your behavior will be natural, dictated by self-respect. And the question will not sound like influence of self-esteem on human behavior.
Dear parents, your children have come to instruct you spiritually, and subsequently to help you physically. Don't treat them like property. If you care about them, love them unconditionally. It is not up to you to decide what kind of person they will grow up to be, it is their choice. But your life example, not psychological terror And moralizing, will help children to be themselves and treat themselves and others with respect.
Dear children, you came into this world to develop your special skill, gift, talent that is inherent in you. Parents are your experienced mentors. Forgive them for their obsessive upbringing with words, take a closer look at their deeds, look for your purpose in life. Each of you is talented in your own way. Always feel worthy.
Happiness to everyone and success in discovering your spiritual essence!
The influence of alcohol on the human psyche and consciousness
Alcoholism is a problem in modern times. Today it is as relevant as ever. Many people mistakenly look for some kind of support and solutions to their problems at the bottom of the bottle. But this is the wrong way. Not everyone thinks about the harmful effects of alcohol and the consequences of its excessive consumption.
First of all, the psyche suffers, changing a person’s attitude towards all areas of normal life.
Let's take a closer look at how alcohol affects the psyche and what diseases its excessive use can lead to.
The effect of alcohol on the body's functioning
Alcoholism has a detrimental effect on all processes in the brain: destroying connections with the outside world and changing the attitude towards what is happening around. The perception of objective reality slows down.
Problems with concentration are not the only consequence of frequent drinking. The importance of perceiving events changes and abstraction from what is happening appears. The patient ceases to see the need for them. Alcohol disrupts plans and upcoming events.
Usually, loved ones begin to notice changes in the behavior and lifestyle of people who drink. It is difficult for a drinker to stay sober, his body is rebuilt. Alcohol affects normal brain activity and behavior. Passion for alcohol leads to degradation.
In patients, there is a sharp variability in the processes of the brain at the level of personal behavior and emotional state. The mood fluctuates chaotically from sadness to joy.
The behavior of other people is not identified correctly, and the logic of thinking breaks down. A person who drinks frequently, as a rule, loses his ability to work and his taste for life. Regardless of the quality and quantity of alcohol, a person’s imagination begins to falter.
It is difficult for an alcoholic to imagine anything remote and beautiful outside of the usual habitats, such as the kitchen, bedroom and restroom. And when the drinker closes his eyes alone, he sees the gray ordinariness.
A person addicted to drinking suffers from a lack of normal sleep, without his evening alcohol intake. And the feeling of vigor in the morning is absent in the morning, regardless of the number of hours allocated to sleep. It is difficult to imagine the dreams of an alcoholic, filled with negative emotions and chaotic, illogical construction.
No one will argue with the fact that alcohol greatly influences a person’s behavior in society: moral prohibitions and ethical standards no longer have their former force. You can expect anything from a drunk person. And lack of alcohol is often the reason for thefts or murders. For an alcoholic, position in society becomes secondary. Alcohol-related divorces are common, including loss of jobs and social connections with loved ones.
Diseases caused by drinking alcohol
Drinking alcohol changes the general condition and leads to all sorts of psychoneurological problems. A common disease among alcoholics is delirium tremens - delirium tremens. In this state, a person is dangerous to himself and others.
A couple of days before the active phase, a potentially ill alcoholic begins to have problems sleeping and a state of unreasonable anxiety appears.
The mind of an alcoholic undergoes changes at the level of mental processes, leading to the appearance of various nightmarish hallucinations. Hallucinations can be more often auditory, less often visual.
The main problem of such a delusional state is a distorted perception of reality; in such a state, the patient sees logic in stopping what is happening by jumping from the window. In a state of insanity, a person can see a threat in people and defend himself from “attackers” with improvised objects, which could be, for example, a knife.
The condition of such a patient is so serious that the people around him, including relatives, are regarded by him as potential enemies. The behavior of a drinking person is antisocial and dangerous. In severe cases, the patient requires hospitalization.
Alcohol provokes the appearance of alcoholic polyneuritis - inflammation of the nerve endings in the brain. Its symptoms are tingling and itching in the lower extremities, decreased sensitivity of the nerve endings of the legs and the body as a whole. Movement during polyneuritis only increases pain. With prolonged use, the drinker begins to move less and his muscles slowly but surely atrophy.
Alcoholic polyneuritis provokes a mental disorder known as Korsakoff's disease. Slight absent-mindedness and poor memory indicate its presence. Alcoholics are often poorly oriented in time and in the objective perception of current events. Gaps in memory are replaced by hallucinations and fantasies of a sick imagination.
The appearance of hemorrhagic polioencephalitis clearly reflects the effect of alcohol on a drinking person. Speech disturbances and increased body temperature are common symptoms of this disease. Often a person who drinks enters an unconscious state that does not require activity. And as a result of this lifestyle, bedsores appear.
It is worth clearly understanding that excessive drinking can lead to problems with memory and performance. Your imagination will suffer and your attention will decrease. Sleep will become disturbing, and thinking will become ambiguous, which will lead to problems with self-esteem and personal perception of oneself.
Do not forget that drinking seems to be an imaginary way to solve problems and colorize gray everyday life. It is much better to lead an active lifestyle: an active lifestyle and physical development.
Improving your cultural and intellectual potential. And gray everyday life will be replaced by a bright and eventful life, leaving only good memories.
The influence of frequencies on human behavior
Let's look at the low frequencies right away. At a frequency of 1-2 Hz, a person falls into sleep. Frequencies from 5 to 7 Hz cause a wild feeling of fear in a person. In addition, if there is long-term radiation, then the human brain can resonate and collapse, and the person will die.
Therefore, pilots are prohibited from entering thunderclouds, because there, in thunderclouds, vortices and vibrations are very frequent, operating at a frequency of 5-7 Hz.
In scientific circles, frequencies of 5-7 Hz are called the “voice of the sea.” This is due to the fact that as a result of tectonic movements, the earth's crust shifts under water. This causes either an eruption or underwater earthquakes. They cause a certain wave. When it spreads through water, its speed reaches 700-800 km/h. Imagine, radiation of 5-7 Hz spreads across the surface of the sea at a speed of 700-800 km/h. Very often the so-called “flying Dutchmen” are found. Vessel. There is no one. Coffee is brewing. Or someone was just sitting at a sewing machine. And not a single living soul on the ship. This radiation just comes out, and people jump overboard in panic. The wave does its job and the person dies.
Many military structures use emitters at these frequencies. Allowed to disperse demonstrations. But this is no longer 5-7 Hz, but from 3.5 to 5 Hz - that’s all, the so-called infrasonic frequencies.
In the 70s, there was a legend about an organ that was used by one of the Western rock bands. They used ultra-low frequencies for greater effect (the ear cannot hear them) and this led to the fact that in panic all the rows were taken out of the hall, all the doors and the people fled.
Frequencies close to auditory perception, sound frequencies, they also affect humans.
Low frequencies are perceived by the lower chakras. The brain, which operates at ultra-high, ultra-high vibrations, for it, of course, a low frequency is destructive.
Here is a person who suffers with his stomach, takes all kinds of pills, goes to procedures, but his stomach hurts and hurts. This person is advised to contact his grandmother. The grandmother whispered something over her stomach, and her stomach stopped hurting. The doctors experimented on him for a year and did not help, but the grandmother was able to help in a few minutes. What did grandma do? And the grandmother read an old prayer or hymn-appeal and whispered at a frequency of 14-16 Hz. Hz is a vibration per second of time. And I already told you that at a frequency of 14-16 Hz we listen to music with our stomach. You listen to organ music, low notes, subcontracts... and your stomach leaps. The ear did not perceive it, but the stomach did.
This suggests that our Ancestors knew in what range the stomach, pancreas, liver, and spleen worked.
Many people look at the conspiracies of the Russian people, the so-called witchcraft. The Christians called this black magic. Conspiracies for pain in the stomach, a conspiracy for pain in the pancreas, so that the kidneys and liver work... and they usually try to read it as a simple text, and then they say: “Some kind of nonsense, it doesn’t help.” And our Ancestors read for years with a certain frequency and helped people.
A conspiracy to subside heart pain - there is already a larger amplitude here. This suggests that our Ancestors had the power of the voice.
If I use a low amplitude voice flow, i.e. If I speak monotonously, very low, then after a while you will begin to nod off and fall asleep. That is, the amplitude of the voice affects a person.
During the war, when the Red Army was retreating, everyone was in a depressed mood, the Supreme Commander-in-Chief made a decision to send artists to the units so that they would influence the psyche with fervent singing, dancing, and concerts, raising the amplitude... Many compared this to a feast during the plague. People are dying everywhere, but these are celebrating.
Normal singing is closer to the range of 400 Hz to 1000 Hz. The tuning fork is tuned to a frequency of 440 Hz, to the note “LA”.
Self-esteem is an important component of any successful person. How can you treat yourself fairly while still being positive and earning the respect of others?
When it comes to self-esteem, some people start to feel stressed. At the same time, they automatically attach some negative connotation to this term. Nowadays, the issue of self-esteem is actively discussed in society, which makes it very difficult to determine what self-esteem really is? Moreover, recently it has become normal to feel behind in some matters or to feel depressed due to the influence of certain people or communities, but only we ourselves can give ourselves self-esteem.
This is very important. Self-esteem influences our actions and behavior. A person with good self-esteem can improve their quality of life through positive thoughts. Anyone who evaluates himself on the good side understands that he deserves more and is capable of getting it. And this attitude allows you to approach problems and complex tasks in a completely different way.
The most appropriate definition of self-esteem
Some people strive to be famous. They believe it will improve their lives and improve their self-esteem. However, in reality, in most cases these are completely different things. People begin to become dependent on the number of subscribers and “likes” on a photo, driving themselves into narrow limits. But in fact, in most cases it doesn’t even have anything to do with real life. Self-esteem is the ability to maintain balance. Every person should love himself, but this love should not turn into self-love. In this case, self-esteem will be balanced and optimal.
Signs of self-esteem problems
High or low self-esteem negatively affects a person’s behavior and condition. For example, people with low self-esteem are constantly overly demanding of themselves. They do not receive satisfaction from their merits, and treat compliments very carefully - in their opinion, a person is simply trying to be polite, and that is why he says pleasant words. This leads to the fact that such people receive less pleasure from life.
The other extreme is inflated self-esteem. Such people are narcissistic and do not pay attention to others. Communicating with them is quite difficult, so usually those around them do not treat them very well. In addition, people with high self-esteem deliberately limit their development. They look down on many opportunities and activities and consider them too simple/uninteresting/unpromising for themselves, and also avoid meeting many people, finding thousands of completely biased reasons for this.
Hidden reasons for low self-esteem
Self-esteem is formed from a very early age. Therefore, education plays a very important role. For example, excessive parental love can inflate it too much, while an irresponsible attitude, on the contrary, will lead to low self-esteem.
Some people are influenced by social media. They closely monitor trends and the actions of their friends. If their lifestyle does not match that of some idols, then self-esteem begins to fall. At the same time, friends may have completely different circumstances, and often people like to put on public display only the brightest moments of their lives, which creates the illusion that everything is fine with them. Very often the real situation is completely different.
Over-dependence on other people's opinions has a similar effect. In fact, each person’s opinion is subjective, and trying to please everyone is a very dubious idea. Don't act as if someone is constantly watching your every step and movement. A person has every right to be an individual, and there is nothing wrong with that, even if someone does not approve of some actions.
How is self-esteem formed?
Achieving success in some areas and taking targeted, correct actions is all good, but it does not guarantee that self-esteem will increase afterwards. Because of all this, a fear of slipping up may develop, individuality and self-confidence may be lost, which means that self-esteem may even decrease. Although from the outside, the above example is a cool and correct person.
The more we compare, the more we lose ourselves. One way or another, when comparing, a desire appears to become like someone. Instead of developing and growing ourselves, we look to people who have succeeded. This takes time, and the mood drops. Why do this? You can always find someone who is better than you at something. But this is not a reason to be upset. In the same way, you can easily find those who are severely delayed in development. Compared to them, we look “handsome,” but this does not mean that we have achieved perfection and should stop there.
Having a purpose in life can significantly improve self-esteem. Work or other activities that are interesting and bring a lot of pleasure will have a positive effect. If a person enjoys what he does, it will improve his self-esteem.
It is important to remember that self-esteem is determined solely by the person himself. Ideally, it does not depend on the number of “likes” on Facebook or other external factors.
How to become confident?
Self-confidence is highly dependent on self-esteem. This is a very important character trait that allows you to achieve great success in life and also earn the respect of other people. Of course, moderation is always important. While confident people are considered charming, overly confident people are usually disliked and disrespected.
To gain confidence, you need to believe in yourself and your capabilities. You need to believe that you can solve any problem, deal with any problem. Moreover, it is important to understand that every person is capable of achieving heights in some area, of becoming truly great. A confident person can be genuinely happy for other people instead of envying them. And this helps a lot in life.
Introduction
The purpose of this work is to trace the relationship between self-esteem and social behavior of an individual in the works of domestic and foreign authors.
The subject of this study is the relationship between self-esteem and social behavior of an individual.
The object of research is self-esteem.
1) Conducting a theoretical and methodological review of the literature
2) Discussion of the results of theoretical and empirical research
3) Generalization of the results obtained
4)Formulation of main conclusions
I .Self-esteem as a factor of human personality and its origins
Self-esteem is the value and significance that an individual attributes to himself as a whole and to individual aspects of his personality, activities, and behavior (No. 16, p. 343). Self-esteem acts as a relatively stable structural formation, a component of self-concept, self-knowledge, and as a process of self-esteem. The basis of self-esteem is the individual’s system of personal meanings, the system of values adopted by him. It is considered as a central personal formation and a central component of the self-concept.
In the studies of A.Z. Zak (No. 8, pp. 106 – 108), self-esteem is presented as a means of analysis and awareness by the subject of his own ways of solving problems, on which an internal plan of action, a generalized scheme of an individual’s activity, is built.
T. Shibutani (No. 22, p. 220) speaks about self-esteem this way: “If personality is an organization of values, then the core of such functional unity is self-esteem.”
The leading role is given to self-esteem within the framework of the study of problems of self-awareness: it is characterized as the core of this process, an indicator of the individual level of its development, its personal aspect, organically included in the process of self-knowledge. Self-esteem is associated with the evaluative functions of self-knowledge, which absorb the emotional and value attitude of the individual towards himself, the specifics of his understanding of himself (http:psi.lib.ru/detsad/sbor/saodshv.htm).
B.G. Ananyev (No. 1) expressed the opinion that self-esteem is the most complex and multifaceted component of self-awareness (a complex process of indirect knowledge of oneself, unfolded in time, associated with movement from single, situational images through the integration of similar situational images into a holistic education - the concept own Self (No. 26)), which is a direct expression of the assessment of other persons participating in the development of the individual.
Self-awareness belongs to the integral subject and serves him to organize his own activities, his relationships with others and his communication with them (
I.Yu. Kulagina, V.N. Kolyutsky (No. 12, p. 294) say that the formation of the “I” concept is the most important stage in the development of self-awareness.
Self-esteem is also considered as an element of self-attitude, along with self-respect, self-sympathy, self-acceptance, etc. (No. 17, p. 124). This is how I.S. Kon speaks (No. 11, p. 109) about self-respect, defining it as the final dimension of the “I”, expressing the measure of an individual’s acceptance or rejection of himself.
A.N. Leontiev proposes to comprehend self-esteem through the category “feeling” as a stable emotional attitude that has “a pronounced objective character, which is the result of a specific generalization of emotions” (No. 13, p. 304).
Gippenreiter Yu. B. (No. 6) gives the difference between self-knowledge, self-esteem, self-awareness and introspection, in the words of the world famous storyteller G.Kh. Andersen from the fairy tale “The Ugly Duckling”: “Remember that exciting moment when the duckling, having become a young swan, swam up to the royal birds and said: “Kill me!”, still feeling like an ugly and pathetic creature. Could he, through one “introspection,” change this self-esteem if his admiring relatives had not bowed their heads before him?
The structure of self-esteem is represented by two components – cognitive and emotional. The first reflects a person’s knowledge about himself, the second – his attitude towards himself as a measure of self-satisfaction (http:psi.lib.ru/detsad/sbor/saodshv.htm).
In the activity of self-assessment, these components function in an inextricable unity: neither one nor the other can be presented in their pure form /I.I. Chesnokova/. Knowledge about oneself, acquired by a subject in a social context, inevitably becomes overgrown with emotions, the strength and intensity of which is determined by the significance of the assessed content for the individual (No. 23).
The basis of the cognitive component of self-esteem is the operation of comparing oneself with other people, comparing one’s qualities with developed standards, and recording a possible discrepancy between these values /L.I. Korneeva/. Suverova E.I. (MOSU) (No. 23).
Self-esteem is characterized by the following parameters:
1) level – high, medium, low
2) in relation to real success – adequate and inadequate
3) structural features - conflict and non-conflict
Based on the nature of their temporal relevance, prognostic, current and retrospective self-esteem are distinguished.
The psychological dictionary says: “The self-esteem of a developed individual forms a complex system that determines the nature of the individual’s self-attitude and includes general self-esteem, reflecting the level of self-esteem, holistic acceptance or non-acceptance of oneself, and partial, private self-esteem, characterizing the attitude towards individual aspects of one’s personality, actions, and the success of individual types of activities. Self-esteem can be of different levels of awareness” (No. 16, p. 343).
The analysis of self-esteem as self-assessment of activity made it possible to identify several of its functions: prognostic (consisting in the regulation of personality activity at the very initial stage of activity), corrective (aimed at monitoring and making the necessary adjustments) and retrospective (used by the subject at the final stage of activity to summarize, correlate goals , ways and means of performing activities with its results (No. 21, pp. 22-23).
Let's analyze self-esteem using the concepts of activity categories - result, means, operations:
1) As a result of self-assessment, researchers highlight the following characteristics: as a result of self-assessment, the individual finds out whether the performance exceeds the standard, equals it or does not reach it (No. 20, p. 191); the person checks himself against the standard and, depending on the results of the test, is satisfied or dissatisfied with himself (No. 14, p. 410); a person’s statement of the qualitative, meaningful features of his Self, his physical strengths, mental abilities, actions, his attitude towards others and himself (No. 21, p. 9); self-esteem is of two kinds: self-satisfaction and dissatisfaction with oneself (No. 7, p. 88); self-esteem answers the question: “not what I have, but what it’s worth, what it means” (No. 4, p. 99).
Thus, the result of self-esteem is either a statement of certain qualities, or the result of comparing these qualities with a certain standard, or the result of some emotional-sensual relationship.
2) To study issues of self-esteem, research on self-assessment tools is also of great importance.
As means or standards of self-assessment, the following parameters are used: value orientations and personality ideals (Petrovsky A.V.), worldview (Rubinshtein S.L.), level of aspirations (Bozhovich L.I., Heckhausen H., etc.) , “I”-concept (Sokolova E.T., Stolin V.V.), requirements imposed by the team (Savonko E.I.).
So, the functions of self-esteem means can be of two types: cognitive (self-concept or its individual aspects) and affective (values, ideals, level of aspirations, requirements). Summing up this point, we can conclude that almost any phenomenon of a person’s existence (including self-esteem itself) can be self-evaluated by him, i.e. the content field of self-esteem is endless.
3) In self-assessment, the following operations are distinguished: self-knowledge as constructing the image “I am real” (No. 4, p. 141), comparison of the assessed quality with the standard (No. 21, p. 24), causal attribution of the result of the comparison (No. 21, vol. 1, p.408); reaction (attitude, self-acceptance) to the achieved result (No. 7, p. 368). Causal attribution of the result is considered as an additional procedure that can be applied to both the result of comparison and the result of self-attitude, if they do not somehow satisfy the self-evaluator . Then it turns out that in self-esteem there are only 2 types of fundamental operations: comparison and self-attitude, which, placed in different contexts, take on different meanings (for example, the projection of the “real self” onto the “ideal self” is based on comparison, Petrovsky A.V. ), self-criticism. As its basis, self-attitude has self-acceptance (Borozdina L, V, ibid.), self-satisfaction and dissatisfaction with oneself (No. 2, p. 368).
Self-esteem is dominant, and its expression is considered to be the level of aspirations, concludes L.V. Borozdina. (No. 4, p. 141). That is, the level of aspirations is considered a manifestation of self-esteem in the action of an individual. A similar problem arises in distinguishing the concepts of self-esteem and achievement motivation. For example, Heckhausen H. states that “the achievement motive acts as a system of self-esteem” (No. 19, p. 194).
According to E.A. Serebryakova (No. 18, pp. 42-44), ideas about one’s capabilities make the subject unstable in choosing goals: his aspirations rise sharply after success and fall just as sharply after failure.
Level of aspiration - characterizes: 1) the level of difficulty, the achievement of which is the common goal of a series of future actions (ideal goal); 2) the subject’s choice of the goal of the next action, formed as a result of experiencing the success or failure of a number of past actions (the level of aspirations at the moment); 3) the desired level of personal self-esteem (I level). The desire to increase self-esteem in conditions where a person is free to choose the degree of difficulty of the next action leads to a conflict of two tendencies - the tendency to increase aspirations in order to achieve maximum success, and the tendency to lower them in order to avoid failure. The experience of success (or failure), which arises as a result of achieving (or not achieving) the level of aspirations, entails a shift in the level of aspirations to the area of more difficult (or easier) tasks. A decrease in the difficulty of the chosen goal after success or an increase in it after failure (an atypical change in the level of aspirations) indicates an unrealistic level of aspirations or inadequate self-esteem (No. 34).
“Self-esteem is directly proportional to success and inversely proportional to aspirations, that is, potential successes that an individual intended to achieve,” in the form of a formula this can be presented as follows:
Self-esteem = aspirations / capabilities.
Self-esteem is interpreted as a personal formation that is directly involved in the regulation of human behavior and activity, as an autonomous characteristic of the individual, its central component, formed with the active participation of the individual himself and reflecting the originality of his inner world (http:psi.lib.ru/detsad/sbor/ saodshv.htm).
The origins of the ability to evaluate oneself are laid in early childhood, and its development and improvement occurs throughout a person’s life (No. 23).
According to many psychologists, personality structure and the foundations of self-esteem are formed in the first five years of a person’s life (No. 3, p. 103)
Usually, an opinion about oneself is based on the attitude of other people towards us (No. 10, p. 284). There are several sources of self-esteem formation that change the weight of significance at different stages of personality development: assessment of other people; circle of significant others or reference group; current comparison with others; - comparison of the real and ideal self (No. 27).
Self-esteem is also formed on the basis of assessing the results of one’s own activities, as well as on the basis of the relationship between real and ideal ideas about oneself (No. 16, p. 343).
Low self-esteem can be due to many reasons: it can be learned in childhood from parents who have not dealt with their personal problems; it can develop in a child due to poor performance at school; due to ridicule from peers or excessive criticism from adults; Personal problems and inability to behave in certain situations also form a person’s unflattering opinion of himself (No. 19, p. 484).
Sanford and Donovan, corroborating what C.T. Faulcan said, say that the assessment came from the outside - from parents "who reprimanded you, told you you were bad, peers who made fun of your red hair, your nose or the fact that you couldn't do math quickly... No one can acquire low self-esteem in isolation, Sanford points out, and none of us can change it alone...” (No. 27).
R. Burns speaks similarly on this matter: “If parents, acting as a social mirror for a child, show love, respect and trust in their treatment of him, the child gets used to treating himself as a person worthy of these feelings” (No. 3, p. . 157).
I.Yu. Kulagina, V.N. Kolyutsky (No. 12, p. 272) emphasize that in children with high or low self-esteem, it is extremely difficult to change its level.
Coopersmith notes that to form a positive self-esteem, three conditions are necessary: complete internal acceptance by parents of their child; clear and consistent requirements; respect for the child’s individuality within established limits (No. 3, p. 159)
Chuck T. Faulcan (No. 19, p. 485) says that if a person does what he loves, over time he gains experience and skill of which he has the right to be proud. This is one of the conditions that make up normal self-esteem. Each person creates for himself an image of an ideal “I”. It has qualities that are valuable in the eyes of parents, peers, teachers and people in authority (No. 10, p. 286). It may change depending on the environment. If actual qualities correspond to or approach the ideal, the person will have high self-esteem.
A sober and objective attitude towards oneself forms the basis of normal self-esteem (No. 19, p. 485).
To summarize, we can conclude: self-esteem is a component of self-awareness, has a reflexive nature, includes such elements as: the image of the “real self”, the “ideal self”, the result of comparing these images and self-attitude to the result of the comparison. Self-esteem is a reflexive component of self-awareness that performs a regulatory function. Self-esteem is the attitude of an individual to the results of comparing his images of the real and ideal “I”.
II .Study of the influence of self-esteem on the social behavior of an individual
Self-esteem plays a very important role in organizing effective management of one’s behavior; without it, it is difficult or even impossible to determine one’s self in life (No. 27).
A person’s relationships with others, his criticality, self-demandingness, and attitude toward successes and failures depend on self-esteem. Self-esteem is closely related to the level of a person’s aspirations, that is, the degree of difficulty of the goals that he sets for himself. The discrepancy between a person’s aspirations and real capabilities leads to the fact that he begins to evaluate himself incorrectly, as a result of which his behavior becomes inadequate (emotional breakdowns, increased anxiety, etc. occur). Self-esteem receives objective expression in how a person evaluates the capabilities and results of the activities of others (for example, he belittles them with inflated self-esteem) (No. 34).
The first to identify the type of family situation that forms a positive self-concept in a child was Scott (No. 3, pp. 144-145). Having studied 1,800 teenagers, he found that those who have an atmosphere of mutual respect and trust between parents and children at home, a willingness to accept each other, are more adjusted in life, independent, and have higher self-esteem. On the contrary, teenagers from families where there is discord are less well adjusted.
Thus, high self-esteem develops in children in families characterized by cohesion and solidarity. (No. 3, pp. 149-150) . The mother's attitude towards her husband is more positive here. In the eyes of a child, parents are always successful. He readily follows the behavioral patterns they set, persistently and successfully solves the daily tasks that confront him, as he feels confident in his abilities. He is less susceptible to stress and anxiety, and perceives the world around him and himself kindly and realistically.
Boys with high self-esteem have a higher level of aspirations (No. 3, p. 150). Thus, children with high self-esteem set higher goals for themselves and are more likely to achieve success. Conversely, children with low self-esteem are characterized by very modest goals and uncertainty about the possibility of achieving them.
Coopersmith (ibid., p. 150) describes boys with high self-esteem this way: they are independent, self-reliant, sociable, and convinced of the success of any task entrusted to them. This self-confidence helps them stick to their opinions, allows them to defend their views and judgments in controversial situations, and makes them receptive to new ideas. Self-confidence, along with a sense of self-worth, gives rise to conviction that one is right and courage to express one’s beliefs. This attitude and corresponding expectations provide them not only with a more independent status in social relations, but also with considerable creative potential and the ability for energetic and positive social actions. They usually take an active position in group discussions. By their own admission, they do not experience any particular difficulties getting close to new people; they are ready to express their opinion, knowing that it will be met with hostility. An important feature of children with high self-esteem is that they are less preoccupied with their internal problems.
“High self-esteem,” says R. Burns, “(No. 3, p. 151) ensures good mastery of the technique of social contacts, allows the individual to show his worth without making much effort. The child acquired the ability to cooperate in the family, the confidence that he is surrounded by love, care and attention. All this creates a solid foundation for his social development.”
The behavior of people with high self-esteem (No. 3, p. 151) is the opposite of the picture of behavior of people experiencing depression, well known to psychotherapists. The latter are characterized by passivity, lack of self-confidence, in the correctness of their observations and judgments; they do not find the strength to influence other people, resist them, and cannot easily and without internal hesitation express their opinion.
Poor self-esteem, Sanford and Donovan say, is at the root of many of the problems women may have, from overeating to alcoholism. “If we don't love ourselves, we marry men unworthy of us, choose jobs that are too easy for our capabilities, and make other mistakes, ranging from poisoning ourselves with drugs to too much tolerance, which is based on, Sanford notes. lies our opinion that we deserve it" (). Research shows that self-deprecating (“if only…”) behaviors, such as focusing on one's shortcomings or exaggerating the importance of failure, are associated with depression. According to the American Psychological Association, low self-esteem is clearly an important factor in the development of depression. Low self-esteem has been cited as a factor influencing the high prevalence of depression among women, who suffer from depression twice as often as men.
“Self-esteem is an important factor, since it reflects a person’s confidence in his professional and personal strengths, his self-esteem and adequacy to what is happening. Optimal – high self-esteem (
30. http:psi.lib.ru/detsad/sbor/saodshv.htm
31. http:linky.ru/~alexxxey/book/tom.htm
33. http:www.cross-edu.ru/IpkCdoSt12.htm
34. http://encikl.by/ru/txt/uu15.htm
How do family relationships and ways of raising children affect their self-esteem? Whether a person will have low or high self-esteem strongly depends on the behavior of the parents towards the child. Do you need to increase your self-esteem and does your child need to increase their self-esteem? Here are questions that will not replace a self-esteem test, but will help you figure out what it depends on.
Listening to the stories of adult patients in psychotherapy sessions and noting the circumstances of their past, in which sometimes tragic decisions were made, it is not difficult to understand the omissions and needs of childhood. Having understood what the wounds were, it is logical to assume how they could have been avoided.
These are the questions I use in my psychotherapeutic practice to explore the origins of low self-esteem in childhood. This list can help self-analysis of adults, and also become a guide for parents who think that something is wrong with their child’s self-esteem.
When you were a child, did your parents' behavior make you feel like you were living in a rational, predictable, and understandable world? Or is the world contradictory, incomprehensible and unknowable? Did you feel that in your home obvious facts were acknowledged and respected or avoided and denied?
Have you been told that it is important to learn to think and develop intelligence? Did your parents stimulate your intellect and instill in you the idea that using your own mind is necessary and enjoyable? Was mindfulness valued in your parents' home?
Have you been encouraged to think for yourself and develop your unique abilities? Or were you required to be purely obedient instead of being mentally alert and willing to ask questions? (Additional questions: Did your parents instill in you that it is more important to agree with other people's beliefs than to seek the truth? When they wanted to get something out of you, did they appeal to your understanding and explain the reasons, if possible and appropriate? Or did they communicate so: “Do as I say”?) What were you called to - humility or self-responsibility?
Were you able to express your opinions freely and openly without fear of punishment? Was self-expression and assertion safe?
Did your parents express their disapproval through jokes and sarcasm about your thoughts, desires, or behavior? Was self-expression associated with humiliation?
Did your parents treat you with respect? (Additional questions: Were your thoughts, needs, and feelings taken into account? Were your human dignity recognized? Were your ideas and opinions taken seriously? Were adults respectful of your likes and dislikes? Were your wishes responded to thoughtfully and again with respect?) Were you implicitly encouraged to respect yourself, to take your thoughts seriously, to exercise your mind?
Did you feel that you were psychologically visible to your parents, that you were noticed and understood? Did you feel like you were real to them? (Additional questions: Do you feel like your parents made a sincere effort to understand you? Did they really care about you as a person? Were you able to talk to your parents about important issues with an engaged, meaningful understanding? Was there a consistency between your self-image and what your parents instilled in you?)
Did you feel loved and valued by your parents as a source of joy? Or did you feel like an unwanted burden? Did you feel hatred from them? Or were you simply treated with indifference? Did your parents make an effort to make you feel loved?
Did your parents treat you fairly and honestly? (Additional questions: Did your parents use threats to control your behavior - threats of immediate punishment from them, long-term consequences for your life, punishment from above, such as going to hell? Did they approve of you when you did good, or were they just criticized for bad behavior? Were your parents ready to admit their mistakes? Or did this contradict their position?) Did you feel that you lived in a reasonable, fair and sane environment?
Did your parents discipline you with punishment or beatings? Was fear a means of manipulation and control?
Did your parents show faith that you were inherently good and capable? Or did they think you were a complete disappointment, good for nothing, unachievable, and generally bad? Did you feel like your parents were on your side and supported the best in you?
Did your parents let you know that they believed in your intellectual and creative potential? Or did they show with all their appearance that they consider you stupid, inadequate, untalented? Did you feel valued for your intelligence and abilities?
When analyzing your behavior and progress, did your parents take into account your knowledge, needs, interests and specific circumstances? Or were expectations and demands too high? Have you been motivated to see your wants and needs as important?
Did your parents' behavior and manner of communicating with you contribute to your feelings of guilt? Have you been encouraged (explicitly or implicitly) to think of yourself as bad?
Did your parents' behavior and manner of communicating with you contribute to your fear? Have you been encouraged to think not to gain value or feel satisfaction, but to avoid negative feelings or disapproval?
Did your parents respect your intellectual and physical integrity? Did they respect your dignity and rights?
Did your parents tell you that it is in your best interest to think well of yourself, that is, to have healthy self-esteem? Or were you discouraged from valuing yourself and cultivated humility in you? Was self-esteem considered a good quality in your home?
Did your parents instill in you the importance of being able to build your own life? (Additional questions: Did your parents teach you that people, and you in particular, are capable of great things? Did your parents give you the feeling that life could be exciting, exciting, a real adventure?) Were you offered an optimistic picture of life's possibilities?
Did your parents cultivate in you fear of the world, of other people? Have you been taught that the world is full of evil?
Have you been encouraged to openly express your emotions and desires? Or did your parents’ behavior and treatment of you make you afraid of emotional self-affirmation and openness, considering them inappropriate? Were emotional honesty, self-expression, and self-acceptance supported?
Were your mistakes considered a normal part of the learning process? Or did they entail ridicule and punishment? Have you been taught to face life's new challenges and lessons without fear?
Did your parents cultivate in you a healthy and positive attitude towards sex and your own body? Or was the attitude negative? Or did they act as if this aspect did not exist at all? Did you feel supported in developing a happy and positive relationship with your physical existence and developing sexuality?
Did your parents' way of communicating with you contribute to the development and strengthening of your sense of masculinity or femininity? Or did it lead to confusion and depression? If you are a man, did your parents instill in you the feeling that being a man is desirable? Or a woman if you are a woman?
Did your parents instill in you that your life belongs to you? Or have you been made to think that you are simply property of the family and that your achievements are only significant insofar as they serve the glory of your parents? (Bonus question: Were you treated as “family property” or as an individual in your own right?) Did they help you understand that you are not on Earth to meet someone else’s expectations?
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