How to learn to be responsible for your actions. Psychology

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Irresponsibility is not the most pleasant quality. It interferes with building a career, spoils our relationships with people, and ultimately prevents us from becoming successful and happy. Let's figure it out, is irresponsibility forever, or can we try to become a more responsible person?

As a child, I really wanted a pet: a kitten, a puppy, or at least a white mouse in a cage. But my parents did not share my desire and always repeated: “You’re irresponsible, you don’t answer for yourself, how will you answer a pet?” And then I believed it. So much so that for many years I didn’t dare to have a pet until they gave me one. Then I realized two things:

Under no circumstances should you say that to a child.
I can be responsible not only for a pet, but for my entire life.

However, even as a teenager I realized that the level of responsibility is not a constant, it is set by our environment. For example, in the company of protective parents or an overly responsible man, girls often begin to behave rather childishly. They don’t need to be responsible in this situation; others will do it for them. But as soon as the same young lady finds herself in the company of an even more irresponsible creature, for example, a younger sister, she suddenly takes on the role of an intelligent and responsible “parent”. But in any case, in order not to get used to irresponsibility, you must try to avoid overprotection and communicate with others on equal terms.

Responsibility towards others

Being a responsible person towards others means fulfilling your obligations and promises on time and efficiently. It sounds simple, but sometimes it is much more difficult to do.

To become a more responsible person, you first need to stop making excuses for your own irresponsibility. So, for example, people who are constantly late say in their defense: "Well, you know me!" But this is the worst excuse you can come up with. It means that a person takes his own shortcomings for granted and is not going to change anything.

To keep your promises, you must make them only consciously. Often people who it's hard to say no, make a huge number of promises that they cannot fulfill in principle. They end up letting others down and are considered the most irresponsible people in the world. Such kindness does more harm than good. So train yourself not to make promises that you yourself are not sure of.

Don't leave things to the last minute. Irresponsible people often blame any external forces and circumstances for their problems: traffic jams, interruptions in the Internet, or even conspiracies of ill-wishers. Learn to take full responsibility for your obligations and provide for all force majeure circumstances.

And in general, responsibility presupposes the ability to admit one’s mistakes. Analyze your actions and honestly admit to yourself why in one case or another you behaved irresponsibly, where you made a mistake and how you can avoid such a situation in the future.

Practice keeping your promises. You can do it on yourself - give yourself three promises every morning and try to fulfill them, no matter what, and write down the results.

Increasing responsibility is training in self-discipline, which is never harmful to work on.

Responsibility towards yourself

There is another level of responsibility, much more complex, which few people master. This is responsibility for one’s own life, the ability not to go with the flow, but to act as the architect of one’s own destiny. It is very simple to understand whether a person has such a quality - just ask him what he has achieved in life himself, and what "It just happened naturally." If most "it somehow worked out"- this means that he only went with the flow and did not manage his life.

Developing such a degree of responsibility is not so easy; many books, trainings and seminars are devoted to this. But the game is worth the candle, because if successful, the person will manage his life himself and lead it to a better result.

Stephen Covey in his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" invites readers to determine their circle of influence, and not waste energy on what happens outside this circle, but do everything possible to ensure that everything inside the circle happens exactly the way you want.

First you need to stop and think whether everything in life suits you. Is your work, relationships, hobbies what you were striving for, or just something that somehow came into your life? If the second option, write down your real desires and goals, and think about how you can influence the situation, what steps will lead you to the desired result.

One way to change your attitude towards life is auto-training or affirmations. Constant repetition of words: "Only I am responsible for my life" will help develop an appropriate psychological attitude.

Psychology 0

Good day, dear blog guests! The world is designed in such a way that we cannot constantly carelessly race around in a convertible and enjoy ourselves. To develop, a person needs such a quality as responsibility.

For example, if you do not feed your turtle on time, it will get sick and die, the same can be said about a person. Today I will tell you how to become a responsible person.

What does responsibility mean?

For yourself:

you are responsible for your personal development and level of professionalism;
you set yourself the goals and objectives you need to succeed;
for actions, thoughts, words that should be worthy;
for the state of health, both physical and.

During my life:

every person is responsible for his personal success and happiness;
caring for loved ones, their happiness and well-being;
solving emerging problems and overcoming difficulties.

This quality is inherent in adults and self-sufficient people. Without it, it is impossible to build a career, organize everyday life and have wonderful relationships with people.

What is the secret of this quality?

When a person willingly takes responsibility for doing important things, he successfully moves up the career ladder. To be a leader or manager, for example, of a large company, a person must have exactly this quality.

When a person has few obligations, his importance decreases, opportunities and prospects are lost. This quality is avoided by cowards and weaklings; as a result, they achieve nothing and remain on the sidelines.

Courageous individuals tend to take responsibility. They never hide or give in to difficulties, but do exactly the opposite - they use all the opportunities that they have.

Even the most talented and intelligent people will not be able to achieve anything without this important quality. They usually have a bad reputation and have lost the trust of others. Usually such individuals communicate with their own kind, and no one is interested in successful, strong people.

How to become responsible?

To get started, answer the following questions:

Do you keep your promises to other people?
Do others value you and do they need your help and support?
Do you set long-term goals for the future?
Are you investing in your personal growth?
Do you take care of yourself and your loved ones in terms of health and appearance?

If you answered negative to at least one of the above questions, then you have something to work on so that in the future people will talk about you: he is a very responsible and reliable person, you can always rely on him.

When a person completes a task on time and correctly, he receives a reward for it. Otherwise, punishment is inevitable: mistrust, dismissal, etc. await it.

The most serious punishment of a person for irresponsibility in life, which is given to him not by people, but by higher powers, is insanity and insanity.

Develop responsibility- means developing willpower, patience, punctuality, organization, discipline. This is not always easy and sometimes you need to visit a psychologist or go to special trainings, but after that you will be surprised how the attitude of the people around you will change.

So what to do:

engage in your professional development: read books on psychology, attend trainings, take courses;
Practice: take on simple tasks and always complete them on time, without missing deadlines. Write down what you need to do in your diary and set reminders. After completing easy tasks, take on difficult ones. You must be confident that you are capable of completing the assignment you have undertaken;
regularly work towards achieving your life goals;
start to control yourself and control all your desires. The ability to control your emotions is a sure sign that you are responsible for yourself;
responsibility implies: correct analysis, that is, whether to take on this or that matter or not, acceptance of obligations, oral or written promise. All these criteria are parts of one cohesive mechanism, and they must function without failures.

Thus, responsibility is a skill that an individual can develop if he puts in the effort. Assess yourself to what extent this quality is developed in you and whether you have it at all. Even in its absence, if you have a great desire, you can change everything and become a different person - better than yesterday.

Ask your loved ones what they think about this. Their answers will definitely be helpful for you and you will know what you need to work on. It will not be possible to become a successful person right away, but if you develop this skill in yourself, you will have more opportunities and prospects for this, people will appreciate and trust you.

For a responsible person, everything in life is very smooth: he does not live in an eternal rush, he manages to come to work on time, relax, meet with friends, he finds time for his favorite hobby... this begs the question, when can all this be done?

The answer is actually simple, you just need to have a daily routine. See how the ancient science of Ayurveda recommends doing things during the day in order to get everything done, my article is about this.

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The desire to become more responsible is admirable. At first, this task seems very difficult, but over time, responsibility becomes a habit! Keep all your promises and commitments. Organize your time and money correctly, take care of yourself and others, and do not forget about physical and emotional needs.

Steps

How to take care of yourself and others

Clean up after yourself without being reminded. Always clean up after yourself and don't leave a mess so others don't have to clean it up. Whoever makes a mess should take care of cleanliness. Imagine and compare the other person's feelings when they come home and see a mess or cleanliness.
- For example, if you make a sandwich and make a mess in the kitchen, take the time to put away all the food, sweep up the crumbs, and wash the dishes or at least put them in the dishwasher.
Put things in their place right away so you don’t waste time on it later. Keeping track of personal items like shoes or keys is solely your task. If you put them back immediately after use, you won't have to search for the item you need later. In addition to order and organization, it shows that you value your belongings.
- For example, always hang your keys on a hook or place them on the table when you get home and close the door so you know where they are.
Do household chores without being reminded. Doing what you're asked is a sign of responsibility, but you should also learn to help around the house without being asked to show you care about yourself and others. Show that you are responsible enough to notice needs and do helpful things on your own initiative.
- For example, you noticed that no one took out the trash today. There is no need to leave this to anyone else. Take the initiative.
- Let's say no one thought about dinner. Discuss your suggestions and prepare dinner for the whole family.
Put other people's needs before your own. If you have family, friends, and pets, responsibility requires putting their needs before your own. This doesn't mean you need to forget about yourself, but you can meet your needs later if your loved ones need your help right now.
- For example, you are really hungry, but your little sister has cut herself and needs help. Obviously, you should take care of the cut first.
- Learn to separate “needs” from “wants”. For example, you want to meet with friends, but your parents need you to stay home and look after your brother. Going out with friends may seem like a need, but it's still more of a desire.
Be consistent. Responsibility is depreciated if it is accidental. If you want to become a responsible person, then choose a procedure that is convenient for you and follow it. For example, you don’t need to study for ten hours straight and then forget about your lessons for several weeks. It is better to spend 1 hour every day and regularly repeat the material covered, rather than cramming at one time.
- To be consistent, you need to keep your word and keep your promises to yourself and others.
- Be a reliable person so that people can trust you and your word.
How to Demonstrate Maturity in a Relationship
1. Be responsible for your actions. If you did something wrong, you need to admit it. We all make mistakes, there are no exceptions, but only responsible people are ready to admit their mistakes.
  - Even if no one “caught” you in the act, admit that you made a mistake. For example, if you accidentally broke a friend's thing, then there is no need to try to hide this fact. Say: "I'm sorry, I accidentally broke your sunglasses. Can I buy you new glasses?"
2. Tell the truth to maintain genuine relationships. A harmless lie, like saying you like your friend's scarf if you don't, is unlikely to be a problem, but if there is a major deception in the relationship (for example, you lied about what you're doing), there can be serious consequences. Be completely honest with people because only sincere people are responsible enough to tell the truth.
  - Often, after deception, you need to maintain a fictitious story, which is very difficult.
3. Stay in touch with loved ones and friends. Don't let the relationship fade. Organize meetings or hold social events to show your responsibility and commitment to spending time with loved ones.
  - Offer your help if needed. Perhaps one day you will also need the help of friends.
  - Make time for personal meetings. Be responsible enough to organize your time and make appointments with loved ones in advance.
  - Don't look at your phone while communicating. People are more important than news on social media.
4. Look for solutions, not culprits. Every relationship has problems. We should not blame other people for everything, but find solutions. Responsible people look for solutions, not for blame.
  - For example, you correspond with a relative, and various misunderstandings constantly occur between you, which develop into quarrels.
  - There is no need to blame your interlocutor. Offer to meet and think about how to solve the problem. For example, agree to write more specifically or ask for explanations if there is a lack of information.
  - Try to resolve the issue rather than attack the person. Personal attacks are a road to nowhere.
5. Think and only then speak. Irresponsible people rush to say whatever comes into their head, including curse words and insults. Always think about your future words. You can't let anger take over.
  - If you're too angry to watch your words, count to ten to yourself and take deep, calming breaths. You can also tell your interlocutor: “I need a couple of minutes to calm down. Then we can continue the conversation. I don’t want to say something that I will regret.”
6. Learn to think about other people's thoughts and feelings. People know how to empathize and sympathize. When you want to say or do something, think about how it will make the other person feel. When in doubt, think about how you would feel. If this is an offense, then it is better to reconsider your words or actions.
  - We are not responsible for other people's feelings, but we are responsible for our words or actions towards them. Responsible people know how to empathize and put themselves in the shoes of others in a particular situation.
How to plan your time
1. Create a schedule to manage your time. Any paper task planner or special electronic application will help you remember your responsibilities. This way you won't forget everything you need to do. In addition, a planner will help you know how you spend your time.
  - Write down all appointments, locations, and responsibilities in your planner. Indicate the time of each task like “Dishes from 15:15 to 15:30”, “Homework from 15:30 to 16:30” and so on.
  - Review your schedule throughout the day so you don't forget anything.
2. Remember that there is time for business, but time for fun. One of the qualities of responsible people is not to put off work until later. First you need to complete the tasks, and then you can relax and rest with peace of mind.
  - For example, if you need to wash the dishes, but you want to go for a walk, then wash the dishes first. Then go for a walk and don't worry about unfinished business.
3. Monitor how much time you spend on social media. People don't even realize how much time they take up. It may seem like you don't have time to do things, but you can get everything done if you forget about your phone, tablet or computer for a while.
  - Use an app that will limit gaming and social media time on your smartphone or computer. Learn to be responsible with your time.
4. Benefit society. Try to take care not only of your personal life, but also of the society in which you live. We all live among people, so find time for other people and help improve the life of your city. Find time to volunteer every month.
  - Volunteer work doesn't have to be boring! Find something to do that matches your interests, be it nature or books. So, you can participate in cleaning the park or help in the library.
5. Make long-term commitments. It's easy to remember to take on new and exciting responsibilities, but over time the newness will wear off. If you become a member of a club, volunteer, or create a public organization, then do not forget about your obligations even after many months.
  - Don't quit halfway through. This does not mean that you need to do one thing for the rest of your life. If you agreed to manage the organization for a year, then carry out your work for at least one year (in the absence of force majeure).