The greatest inflexibility and directness
The character of the railway rails is different
This is an interesting thing: what comes first, character or training? Character, as an opportunity to constantly train, or training, which, when carried out regularly, has a formative effect on character?
For me, character is primary. Others simply don’t stay in training. Remember this is eternal - no time, no strength, no opportunity... Character will determine whether a person will invest constantly or not.
But what happens if instead of character you take a good, tasty, very desirable goal? What if something appears that will overshadow everything else? And then, after some very long period of time, it will slowly go away, but the habit of doing it will remain?
What will this habit be? Something that will “dictate” a certain way of action? New character??
Let's figure it out?
Just straight away, I’m not an expert in psychology. I’ll simply share a couple of thoughts.
When people talk about character, they most often mean a set of properties, qualities and personality traits that leave a certain imprint on all a person’s actions and actions. And actions and actions, in turn, shape the environment, lifestyle and behavior style of the individual.
But there is also an inverse relationship. The current environment, the environment, the format of everyday actions force a person to adapt, gradually change, and acquire new, unusual behavioral traits.
Well, for example, we came to a new job, and there it is customary that once a month everyone chips into the general cash register for tea, coffee and sugar. Great, we accepted it, it became the norm. Common tea and coffee imply the presence of a certain amount of constant drying in a common vase. Everyone knows about this. Everyone also knows that they can take dryers in any quantity, but for some reason they take these dryers without reserves for “what if.” Well, simply because these dryings do not cause much interest. They are always there and always will be. Their availability is covered by the general fund.
Now we change our place of work and come to another team, where everyone lives with their own tea leaves. Naturally, on the first day we bring our own dryers (so familiar and familiar) and pour them onto an open plate. Question: how long will these dryers last? Answer: exactly as long as it takes for a person to appear who can sit near this bowl until these dryings are over. Moreover, it would not even occur to this individual to offer something of his own in return - you yourself put up your dryers for public use.
One more question: how long will we treat everyone with our sushi, and how long will we offer our personal coffee with cream? Answer: everything will depend on how we personally perceive ourselves in this team. If they are equal, then there will be no drying. If we are in the last roles, then we will be carrying dryers for a long time.
What has changed in these situations?
The environment has changed, habits have changed... Has one of the demonstrated character traits changed? Such a small line... As they say, only tea and sugar.
What if in one company swearing is accepted, but in another it is considered unacceptable? And if in one company it is always necessary to wear a suit, and in another, stained pants are allowed - will this have an impact on the person’s personality? Will negligence in one place lead to negligence in another?
Well, it turns out that it’s pulling. And very strongly. And we don’t even realize it. And it works at the level of the brain.
Another example. It is not entirely correct, since it has more to do with immediate actions, but, nevertheless, if such a thing is already addictive, then what can we say about the global environment.
At New York University, psychologist John Bargh and his colleagues conducted an interesting experiment. University students aged eighteen to twenty-two were asked to construct four-word phrases from sets of five words (e.g., “finds,” “he,” “yellow,” “at once,” “house”). The sets for one of the groups contained words that are associated with older people: “forgetful,” “bald,” “gray-haired,” “wrinkles.” Having completed the task, the young people had to go to another room to complete the next test.
The essence of the experiment was this short transition. The researchers quietly recorded the time it took to complete the corridor. The result was that young people who made sentences using words associated with older people walked significantly slower down the hallway.
And now attention, closer to our topic, to the topic of character and training.
This connection works not only in the direction from what is seen by the brain to what is reproduced by the body, but also in the opposite direction - from what is reproduced by the body to brain impulses.
A study was conducted at a German university that was a mirror image of the experiment by Bargh's group in New York. The students were asked to walk around the room for five minutes at a speed of 30 steps per minute, which was about a third of their normal speed. After this brief exercise, participants were much faster at recognizing words related to old age, such as “forgetful,” “elderly,” and “lonely.”
Let's summarize some preliminary results...
In the first experiment, a set of words primes thoughts about old age, even though the word “old” never appears. But even this already sets the stage for behavior associated with old age. In the second experiment, it was proposed to move more slowly than usual, that is, the installation goes to the body, but ultimately affects the brain directly.
Interestingly, in both cases, none of the students in the follow-up survey said that they noticed the overall theme of the words or that the theme of the movement determined their brain activity. All subjects insisted that the words they read had no effect on their actions after the first test, and slow motion had no effect on brain function during the second test.
In both cases, people did not understand the idea of old age, but their actions changed. Everything happened unconsciously, on its own.
Let's get back to training, or rather, for starters, just get back to character. Character is understood as:
- a system of stable motives and modes of behavior that form a behavioral type of personality;
- a measure of the balance of the internal and external worlds, features of the individual’s adaptation to the reality around him;
- a clearly expressed definiteness of the typical behavior of each person.
It turns out quite elegant...
Character is formed, defined and created throughout a person's life. Whatever takes a decisive position at some stage will have a decisive influence.
This may be a way of thinking, feelings, motivations, goals, working alone or in a team, social attitudes, specific life circumstances, as well as the desire to belong to a certain company. This could be one single book read during (or not during) time, a conversation overheard, a movie seen.
Remember Scrooge and the Ghosts of Christmas? Internal attitudes have changed, and the person has changed.
Do you remember Ray Bradbury and his Fahrenheit 451? It wasn’t even ghosts that changed him, but just a couple of books he read.
So how does this work in training?
- You stumble over a difficult exercise or a difficult number of reps and attack it again and again until you finally manage to get through it. What is this if not pumped up will and determination?
- You are constantly outside your comfort zone, because one mastered exercise automatically brings out the next one. You get used to constant challenge and you accept it and conquer it. And you already think that a challenge is normal.
- It is not enough to set a goal, you must be able to achieve it. And training forces you to constantly keep in mind not only the goal itself, but also the fact that in order to achieve it you must do something. You learn not just to know goals, but also to achieve them. You learn to take simple steps towards a big win.
- You are inspired by the fact that you can do something that you couldn’t do just a day ago. You were afraid of this, but now the fear has been replaced by curiosity and delight. You constantly think in your brain: if I could do this, what else can I do? And it makes you move even further. This means your opportunities are growing.
- At the initial stage, you control every millimeter of your body - this is a colossal concentration. This is dynamic meditation. What goes through your head when training is hard? Empty! There is only here and now. You get used to working this way, and this emptiness comes into other aspects of your work.
- At the initial stage, you don't succeed much. But that doesn't stop you. You are learning. You teach your nervous system, brain, receptors to move and act the way they worked before. You do this work carefully because its importance is obvious. What is this if not the development of perseverance, consistency and self-control.
- Sometimes you have to wait months for the results of your training. And you wait. You patiently do the same work - calmly, pragmatically, without strain. And the brain learns to turn time into results. He learns to wait. Learns to understand that everything comes in its own time.
- Not everything goes perfectly in training. No one is immune from failure. But you know that falling is not yet losing. So you try again, and again, and again. You overcome the fear of failure, learn to continue when everything is bad and you have no strength.
- Training takes a certain amount of time. And he must be found. Therefore, you calculate your capabilities more accurately and set your priorities more strictly. Time is a limited resource, so you get used to spending it economically and productively.
- Training does not tolerate fuss and an overloaded brain. Therefore, all problems except exercise fade into the background and become insignificant. You learn to switch from the “mad race” mode to the calm mode.
Will, patience, perseverance, the ability to concentrate, the ability to work to the maximum, determination - what are these, if not character traits. And having learned all this in the gym, you perceive situations outside its walls differently.
You somehow easily maintain inner balance in a “fight”. You manage to do more in less time. You look at emergency situations more calmly and navigate difficult situations faster. You can weigh the decision, wait for the issue to develop, and track the result in the future.
Has character creation occurred? New person?
Interesting, isn't it?
And now I'll show you the return. Before this we talked about positive traits. But every idea archetype has two sides to the coin. And character in training as well.
Imagine that the result is everything. It's simple. This is the first place at the World Championships. What can a person do for this championship? Train a lot, highlight the main thing and... concentrate solely on yourself.
Remember the phrase: “I don’t have time to train you, I need to train myself.” It doesn't sound like that literally, but nonetheless. Do you know the character? A very famous person. Hollywood star.
Well, so, back...
- I need everything, the rest will wait. (In the gym, this usually manifests itself when a person uses several machines at once, and God forbid, you try to somehow push him out of there. He has the same approach. Only he has the right to work on three equipment at the same time.)
- Everyone must listen to me, because only I know how to do everything right. I have been in this sport for 5 (7,10,20 – choose the one you need) years.
- Only I do business, and everyone else is nonsense. That’s why I get tired during training and can’t return the dumbbells to their place. Let someone else do it.
Guy, hello, are you already having delusions of grandeur?
Are your wings too tight?
Doesn't the crown interfere?
These are the three main points. There are a couple more, but they are completely rotten.
I know a child who goes to a section and there children are taught to literally fight for the coach’s attention. And it is considered quite normal to go over the heads of your comrades in order to get to the next competition. This is done by the coach himself. This is his position: get your neighbor out of your way so that he doesn’t block me from you.
What will this boy be like in 5-7 years, if for him now the comrade standing next to him is a competitor and enemy? It is quite logical that he will continue to implement the instructions received during training.
Would you say that this is not related to training? Hmm... But for some reason this experience turns out to be connected with the body. And the brain always projects its own correctly. He will not divide - train or go over your head. He will do it - train by walking over heads.
It’s like being in a cult – let’s raise our hands up and say “Hello” to everyone. Action + word = very powerful thing.
In general, the training is very interesting. They will develop what is hidden and give new guidelines if necessary.
At the end I will give you one more diagram. These are four groups of characters that are especially pronounced in the hall:
- a person’s attitude towards other people (respect, sociability, responsiveness or rudeness, individualism, desire to stand out);
- a person’s attitude to his work (hard work, responsibility, perseverance or passivity, a tendency to look for those to blame, a tendency to do everything just right);
- a person’s attitude towards himself (self-esteem, self-criticism or arrogance, vanity, egocentrism)
- person to things (neatness or sloppiness).
Will this improve your training? Definitely yes!
So, no matter what you do, it will definitely affect you. So welcome to training, friends.
Here, of course, it would be nice to touch on the topic of how to train in order to stay in training, but that’s a completely different story. And this story is too long for one article.
There are many definitions of a strong person. Most often, this concept is associated with qualities such as honesty, responsibility and self-control. These tips will help you improve your strengths and improve your weaknesses.
1. Develop your positive qualities
Be honest
Don't let your words match your actions. Don't try to imitate emotions that you don't experience: people often notice falsehood. For example, if you are annoyed that your spouse is working too much, find the strength to say, “I'm sorry that I'm so angry and not supporting you. I think it's because I just miss you."
Increase your awareness
Mindfulness allows you to examine yourself on a deeper level, understand how your ideas and reactions are formed, and this is an important stage in working on your character. Set aside time for daily reflection where you can ask yourself questions such as, “Why did I react the way I did to those words?” and “What can I do to avoid this type of conflict in the future?”
Meditation also helps increase awareness. Now there are many books and master classes for those who want to make meditation their daily practice, but lack free time. Use them!
Develop self-control
Start with everyday little things. For example, set a goal to control your spontaneous food intake. The next time you decide to indulge in a late-night snack, stop and ask yourself if you're actually hungry. Then drink a glass of water. Consciously control your impulses and introduce small everyday habits into your life, for example, start making your bed in the morning. This will help you develop discipline that will be useful in other areas of your life.
Be true to your principles
If your actions don't match your beliefs, you will always feel uncomfortable. Know and respect your values and moral principles. Make decisions based on them and do not give in to outside pressure.
Always analyze your decisions in terms of their compliance with your internal attitudes.
Take responsibility for your mistakes and correct them
Everyone makes mistakes, and how you deal with the consequences of your bad decisions reflects your character. Admitting your mistakes is a sign of strength, not weakness. Don't be afraid to apologize if the situation requires it, or to compensate for the damage caused. Saying “Sorry for stealing your idea. I confess to everyone that she is yours,” you will show the strength of your character and build relationships with others based on trust and mutual respect.
Be patient
It is completely normal to feel irritated in some situations. But patience and endurance can and should be trained. For example, if your colleague is not grasping information as quickly as you would like, think about whether this is due to the fact that you are not explaining things clearly enough. Or maybe he simply doesn’t have your technical background and you should reduce the use of technical terms? Learn and don't jump to conclusions.
Ask for an honest assessment
Sometimes it can be difficult to be objective about yourself. If you are serious about working on your character, ask someone you trust to give you honest, constructive feedback. Ask about your strengths and weaknesses, thank them for the feedback, and start working on yourself.
2. Learn empathy and gratitude
Put yourself in the other person's shoes
The capacity for compassion lies at the core of strength of character. Try to imagine how other people feel. Maybe your friend recently lost a loved one and has become moody and irritable? Put yourself in his place, and you will be able to understand the motives for his actions. And then it will become clear to you that now he needs not criticism, but friendly support.
Fight prejudice
Most people have an established system of prejudices - conscious or unconscious, many of which have nothing to do with reality. For example, the idea that people without a college degree are not as smart as college graduates. Look around and you will find real examples that refute this belief.
Awareness of your bias is the first step towards overcoming it.
Learn to experience and express gratitude
Gratitude is an important step towards awareness of yourself and the world around you. Make it a part of your daily life and see how your character changes. Every day before you go to bed, think of three things you are grateful for. You can even lead by writing down your thoughts in it.
Also, don't forget to express gratitude to people who deserve it. A simple “thank you” or a detailed comment about how much you appreciate the actions of another person helps to see you as a strong person.
3. Show leadership skills
Speak up and let others speak up
Dealing with shyness can take a lot of effort, but your voice must be heard. Try to actively participate in work meetings, speak clearly and clearly, justify your point of view, and, sooner or later, those around you will begin to listen to you.
If you don’t have problems with shyness, you may not notice how often you interrupt others and don’t let them speak. Showing restraint also shows strength of character. Let others be heard and create frequent discussions.
Be open to new things
Every time you learn something new, you build your character. Do not miss the opportunity to apply this principle both in your personal life and in your work. You might say to your boss, “I'd like to know more about the accounting portion of our project. May I attend a meeting on this issue today?”
Don't be shy to ask for help
Some people believe that asking for something is a sign of weakness. In fact, it is an indicator of your strength of character, your ability to recognize and articulate your needs. Your requests must be specific and understandable. Instead of saying, “You don't do anything around the house!”, try saying, “It would be great if you did the laundry and walked the dog today.”
Notice the strengths of others
Good leaders know that it is more effective to support the successes of others than to undermine them. Help people recognize their strengths and capitalize on them in team play. You might say, “You're really good at presentations. Would you like to speak on behalf of the department?”
Focus on the team's success, not just your own. Approach collaboration from a “we” perspective rather than an “I” perspective.
Learn to face difficulties
Instead of ignoring the problem, find a way to solve it. Assess the situation objectively and avoid impulsive reactions. For example, you run a department and one of your valuable employees quits without notice. Don't be angry. Better think about how to get out of the situation. You will probably have to redistribute tasks among employees. Gather the team, explain the situation and invite them to think through options together.
Being a man...no. Being a MAN is not easy. To achieve this, it is not enough to simply be born male and wear trousers. You need to have courage, and it, in turn, includes certain character traits and qualities, the most important of which are courage, patience, boldness, responsibility, perseverance, and self-confidence. But not every man can say that he has a full set of all these qualities. However, this should not serve as an indicator of a person’s “badness” as a man; it’s just that some qualities need to be developed in oneself. And today we will give some very good advice on how to raise a Man in yourself.
First, let women surround you
This is probably one of the most important recommendations, because a man by nature should be close to a woman, and if there are a lot of women, then this is even better. Just don't misunderstand our advice, because... We can hardly be called supporters of polygamy. Surrounding yourself with women means interacting with them as often as possible. The fact is that in the process of communicating with women, masculinity and courage in a man are manifested most of all. If you are one of those who experience embarrassment and constraint in the company of women, your task is to overcome them - this will be the first step on the path to courage. Just try to overcome these sensations, and over time you will gain an understanding of how to behave, the ability to carry on a conversation, etc.
Second, test yourself in a team sport.
Team sport very well develops such qualities as self-confidence, competitive spirit, and the will to win. When a person aims to go only forward together with his comrades, his character is strengthened and his inner core becomes stronger. In addition, team sport is a constant interaction with other people, in this case with teammates, thanks to which even an insecure man will gradually absorb the confidence of those who are confident in themselves, and this will begin to manifest itself in his everyday life . And another quality that is formed through team sports is patience, which is no less important in life.
Third – test yourself in extreme sports
Extreme sports, such as parachuting, diving, rock climbing, mountaineering, shooting, bungee jumping, alpine skiing, rafting, etc., including even contact martial arts, allow a man to gain one of the most important qualities for him - courage. In addition, they build confidence in themselves and their strengths, get rid of anxiety, strengthen internal resilience, and impart perseverance and determination. Thus, a person in whose life there is extreme sports not only soon notices how he himself is changing, but also observes positive changes in his own life.
Fourth – develop your body
It's easy to see why this is important. A priori, a man is one who has not only a strong spirit, but also a strong and developed body. But this does not mean at all that you need to make yourself a “mountain” of muscles, spending endless hours in the gym. Simple is enough. You can start going to the pool, buy a barbell and a pair of dumbbells for home and exercise once every two days, do exercises or morning exercises, and go jogging. Just make it a rule to do something that will develop you physically, because strength and endurance will never become unnecessary. In addition, a strong man can always protect himself and his woman, and this is important, because... a man is a warrior from time immemorial.
Fifth - learn to play poker
You should not think that learning to play poker is necessary for the sake of some kind of boasting, smoky evenings at the poker table or making money (although the latter will only be beneficial). , which also develops qualities inherent in a man, but inherent in an intelligent man. These are qualities such as determination, prudence, patience, ingenuity, logic, intuition, the ability to control emotional manifestations and understand people. A real man should be able to control and manage himself in any situation, and poker can teach you this.
Sixth, watch what you say.
This point also relates to the issue of self-control. As you know, a “long tongue” has always been the root of many problems, and unfulfilled promises are the reason for the loss of respect from others, even the closest people. A real man is not only always responsible for his words and keeps his promises, but also tries to speak exclusively to the point. This behavior allows you to earn good attitude from other people, and can also save you from unpleasant situations in life. And another advantage is that it develops, which is important when communicating with other people.
Seventh - try to behave with dignity
A man in every situation in life must behave exactly as a man should. This suggests that you should not commit careless acts, behave respectfully with others, especially women, not indulge your weaknesses or the weaknesses of loved ones, refrain from showing rudeness, aggression, and disrespect. A man should be an example for others, especially for his children, if he has any. If there are no children, then you need to train yourself to behave in such a way as to become a role model for them when they appear.
Eighth - develop your mind
A man should pay great attention to the development of his mind. It's no secret that being smart and versatile is always good. But a man, if he really wants to be an example for others and even for himself, must constantly develop in this regard. The development of the mind means broadening one’s horizons, having a wide range of interests and various hobbies, developing intelligence and expanding the scope of personal skills and abilities, forming and training leadership qualities. Having a developed mind means having a sharp mind, a sense of humor and a large information base. By the way, this also contributes to achieving success in any area of life.
Ninth – develop spiritually
When it comes to comprehensive development, you need to take into account not only the physical body and mind, but also the inner world. In other words, you need to take time. This does not mean that from now on you need to completely immerse yourself in some kind of spiritual teaching, because... Quite simple, non-binding practices, such as meditation, for example, are enough. Just set aside time during the day to be alone with yourself for at least half an hour in a state of peace and tranquility. This practice allows you to stop the racing of thoughts, achieve some inner silence, and put everything in your mind “on the shelves.” It also develops intuition, improves understanding of yourself and others, and helps you remain true to yourself in any situation.
Tenth – strive for success
Considering that the indicators of success for each person can be completely different, here we can only say that a man must, firstly, and secondly, make efforts to achieve them. You must understand what is important to you, what you want to strive for, and what to spend your time and energy on achieving. And if you find this, if you manage to achieve the desired results, then you can already be called a successful person. And success will bring with it financial wealth, moral satisfaction, and a feeling of happiness.
ANOTHER RECOMMENDATION: In fact, every person, regardless of gender, skin color, age, religion, or anything else, should strive for. But you can become a truly developed and strong personality only when you know yourself well: your personal qualities, advantages and disadvantages, preferences, meaning in life, the most important values, etc. At first glance, it may seem that achieving such self-knowledge can be very difficult and you can spend a lot of time on it, but we want to tell you that this is far from the case. To know yourself, you just need to have a system and understand how to use it. We can offer you both - we invite you to take our self-knowledge course, which will reveal to you many secrets and interesting things about yourself. Go ahead and start getting to know yourself.
And we wish you courage in completing our course!
Developing a child's character
How often do you hear “she has a golden character”, “what a terrible character”, “the characters don’t match”... And what is character? Translated, this word literally means “imprint, chasing” (Greek). This is a set of individual personal characteristics, characteristics, qualities that distinguish one person from another. It shows how a person relates to the surrounding reality, people, events, how he reacts to external stimuli, and how much he is favorable to himself.
The process is long and not simple, since personal characteristics can be established both at a young age and adjusted under the influence of self-education or the influence of circumstances. How can we influence the process of developing a child’s character traits so that he grows up to be a benevolent, purposeful, and fair person?
Character Traits
Although we perceive character as something whole and indivisible, there are still certain traits that are characteristic of correctly (or incorrectly) educated people:
- Hard work. This quality shows how a person perceives public duties: with enthusiasm or with reluctance, showing a disdainful attitude. This character trait is associated with such traits as laziness, sloppiness, wastefulness (in the absence of love for work) or efficiency, accuracy, frugality (if present)
- . It is important for a person to correctly evaluate himself and others. Then he will be picky in his relationships and aware of his own worth. A person who correctly evaluates himself is characterized by modesty, goodwill, and tolerance for the shortcomings of others. If self-esteem is overestimated or underestimated, then such traits as quarrelsomeness, aggressiveness, conflict, or, on the contrary, timidity, shyness, and lack of an active position appear.
- Integrity. This quality means the willingness to follow one’s convictions, regardless of external circumstances and mood. This is one of the most respected qualities, which, unfortunately, not every person can boast of. The opposite quality is unprincipledness - lack of guidelines in decision making, readiness to act with the greatest benefit for oneself
- Willpower. This quality of character gives rise to courage, the ability to act in spite of circumstances, and the willingness to go to the end in achieving a goal. Its opposite quality is weakness of will, in which a person gives up positions one after another, gives in to obstacles, often looking for the cause of failure not in himself, but in external circumstances
How to raise a child with a strong character?
Character education begins in early childhood, when parents develop a special line of behavior towards their child. If from the cradle he is taught to play with toys on his own for some time, achieving some effect (sounds of a rattle, carousel, the ability to reach for objects, roll over, etc.), then this gradually imprints in the baby’s mind the need for physical activity to achieve results. .
An older child can be assigned simple housework, at least within the children's room. Approval from adults will reward him for his work.
By the way, your praise should really be deserved by the child: tell him not only words that are flattering to his pride, but also carefully point out his shortcomings and help him correct them. The main thing is to do this only in a friendly manner, regardless of whether the child tried his best or allowed himself to cheat a little.
To foster integrity, encourage your child to express his point of view without criticizing it. Agree with him on some rules of your interaction and help him observe them, and also observe them yourself, setting him a positive example.
There is an excellent training by R. Gandapas on cultivating willpower and, in general, strong-willed personality traits “SelfMadeMan”. This word translated from English means “a man who made himself.”
The author says that the main obstacle to achieving a high goal is the person himself. And if in childhood, having a free choice, a child prefers a computer toy to reading a book or starts watching a movie, forgetting about lessons, this may mean that in the future he risks being content with the fate of the average person, looking contemptuously from the sofa at his peer millionaires from the gossip columns, supposedly who made money through unjust means.
To prevent this from happening, so that the child is not satisfied with a primitive existence, you need to strengthen his character by independently learning lessons without reference to the complexity of the program: before helping, ask him to demonstrate the results of his efforts to solve a difficult problem. Sports builds character well: by sending your child to a sports class, you will strengthen not only his body, but also his spirit and will to win.
Even if you don’t like something about your child’s character, do not try to eradicate these traits quickly and irrevocably: it is useless. Only through daily conscious efforts on the part of the child and you can you develop a strong character.
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