Everyone knows the phrase “My tongue is my enemy” from early childhood. Some even have to experience its relevance through their own bitter experience. The expression is used when a person, without thinking, said something about which it would be worth keeping silent. Indeed, words spoken in the heat of the moment to an interlocutor are sometimes difficult to take back. It is always worth thinking about how others will perceive your speech, whether it will cause offense, and even more so, an insult. Try to present even the disappointing truth gently and without unnecessary emotions. Remember: the interlocutor is also a living person.
Every person needs to know the basic rules of etiquette and apply them in practice. When addressing someone, use polite words and addresses. When communicating, you should not raise your voice, openly criticize or blame. In order to leave a pleasant impression of yourself and not offend anyone, be more tactful and respect the opinion of your interlocutor, because everyone has the right to express their own point of view. Along with the phrase “My tongue is my enemy,” they use the saying “The word is not a sparrow, if it flies out, you won’t catch it,” since they carry the same semantic load.
They say that an offensive word can cut sharper than a knife. It's especially painful for parents. They care and worry, do not sleep at night, but sometimes they receive unjustified accusations in response from their beloved children. Relatives will forgive everything, but is it worth offending loved ones, leaving a deep wound in the heart? Children have no right to do this. Take care of your parents while they are alive.
By uttering offensive words, a person not only upsets a loved one, but also spoils his own well-being. Everything in the world is natural, so bad deeds affect health and physical condition. Be more attentive to others and do not allow yourself to be rude. After all, you will be treated the way you deserve it.
Option No. 2
Probably every person has heard the Russian proverb “my tongue is my enemy.” But what is the essence of this phrase? With the help of words you can do not only good deeds, but also cause evil. How often does a person think before saying something? And how many times, having lost our temper and without thinking in advance, do we hurt those closest to us?
The word is not only a way of communication and transfer of information between individuals, but also an opportunity to express one’s own experiences, feelings, and fears. Language plays an important role in the life of every person. And this is not about the organ in the oral cavity that contributes to the formation of sounds. Language, as a sign system, is a complex mechanism. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to speech culture. Misunderstandings can arise among residents of one country and one region, and what can we say about the whole world. One phrase can be understood in different ways and interpreted for yourself. People have created so many proverbs that reflect possible problems. For example, “When you talk too much, you cannot avoid sin,” “Keep your mouth shut,” “My tongue is my enemy.” And each of them emphasizes the importance of meaningful speech.
But if in everyday life we can explain our statement to loved ones. For people with a certain status, this can cause them to lose their job, their place in society or their authority. For example, journalists should report only real events and not be influenced by subjective points of view. Low awareness of people in a certain area gives rise to general ignorance. For example, the saying “GMOs are evil” is well ingrained in people’s minds. Those who cannot or do not want to think critically remain ignorant. But this is just a small example. In the international arena, representatives of states must clearly express their thoughts in order to prevent international conflict or even war.
Every person must think first and only then speak.
My tongue is my enemy essay reasoning
Most of us have heard the proverb “my tongue is my enemy.” Some people know or guess what it means, but others don’t attach much importance to it. Although, in my opinion, this expression needs to be understood and guided by it in real life.
Often during quarrels, swearing, and simply during a normal conversation, people, without thinking, can drop an offensive word or phrase. The key here is the words “without thinking.” Most people speak first and then understand what they said. They may be happy to take back their words, but, as another famous saying goes: “a word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it.”
As a result, it turns out that by saying certain words, a person harmed himself. I couldn’t restrain myself and was rude to my boss, my mother, my wife/husband, etc. The boss will deprive me of my bonus, my mother will be offended and stop talking, my wife will refuse to support me, etc. There are times when a word offends not because a person lost his temper, but by accident . We are talking about jokes here. You must be able to joke; a joke should not offend a person or humiliate his dignity. It should be funny for everyone, not just you. In addition, you need to know who to joke with - not all people perceive humor the same way.
Now it becomes more clear why our language is often our enemy. How can we achieve a final victory over him? No, I’m not hinting that the tongue should be cut off and that’s the end of it (although in the old days such a practice took place). I'm talking about something else. Each person must learn to realize before each phrase what exactly he is going to say and how his interlocutor will perceive it. At first it will be difficult, but over time, you will even stop noticing how you are thinking about your speech, you will simply speak, but speak in such a way that the language will not be your enemy, but will be your friend. This is exactly what eloquent speakers did and do, capable of “holding” an audience for hours.
Language can be both a friend and an enemy. Everything depends only on ourselves. The first path is easier, but by following the second path, you can achieve great success: in your personal life, in career growth, etc. Controlling your language is a great art and an indicator of a rational-thinking person.
Everyone has probably heard the expression My tongue is my enemy. And it's true. Sometimes we happen to say things that we later bitterly regret. We get angry at our own language and think about how to curb it. In the series of lessons “My Language…” we will talk about how to stop fighting with your own language, how to turn it into your best friend, how to find a common language with different people, regardless of gender and temperament.
“A word spoken from the heart goes straight to the heart.”
Lesson 1. How to make friends with your own language.
Today we will understand the nature of language. First, let's remember Chekhov's "Chameleon". The circumstances are quite curious - a certain dog bit the foreman’s finger (he poked it in the nose with a burning cigar), and they do not change, the situational coloring of the circumstances changes (the dog can either be someone else’s or a general’s). So what should poor police warden Ochumelov do?
Hm!.. Okay... - says Ochumelov sternly, coughing and wiggling his eyebrows. - Okay... Whose dog? I won't leave it like this. I'll show you how to loosen dogs! It's time to pay attention to such gentlemen who do not want to obey the regulations! As soon as I fine him, the scoundrel, he will learn from me what a dog and other stray cattle mean! I’ll show him Kuzka’s mother!.. Eldyrin,” the warden turns to the policeman, “find out whose dog this is and draw up a report!” But the dog must be exterminated. Don't hesitate! She must be mad... Whose dog is this, I ask?
This seems to be General Zhigalov! - says someone from the crowd.
General Zhigalov? Hm!.. Take off my coat, Eldyrin... Horror, how hot it is! Probably before the rain... There’s only one thing I don’t understand: how could she bite you? - Ochumelov addresses Khryukin. - Will she reach her finger? She’s small, but you look so healthy! You must have picked your finger with a nail, and then the idea came to your head to rip it off. You are... famous people! I know you, devils!
My tongue is my enemy! Martin Luther was right, oh, how right he was when he said: “To find out what kind of fruit is on a tree, you need to shake it.” In moments of shock, language is an especially clear barometer. Stop-stop-stop!!! From this point on, in more detail... What kind of barometer, what are we even talking about?
OK. Let's go in order.
So, the principle of the language. It is described best and in more detail in the Epistle of the Apostle James. I will not quote the entire biblical text - anyone can open the Bible and read it (James 3:1-12). But I advise you to pay close attention to the eighth verse: “but none of the people can tame the tongue: this is an uncontrollable evil.” Wow! Yes, this is great news! Since this activity is impossible (Jacob says this twice), therefore, it is worth stopping doing useless work, because repeating the same actions with the hope of a different result is a sign of madness. Take a deep breath and feel good - no need to fight your tongue! Due to inappropriate actions.
Jacob gives examples of horses and ships as illustrations, but we will not analyze these examples, because most people have little understanding of the management of ships and horses. Therefore, we will transfer everything to a more modern basis. KAMAZ! Great example! Modern Jacob would say this: “KAMAZ is a very heavy machine, it is impossible to stop or try to hold it. But KAMAZ is not independent! Its behavior on the roads depends on the driver. If the driver is normal, sober and respectable, everything is fine, KAMAZ is nobody’s business.” It won’t cause any harm, but if there’s a drunken maniac driving... Everyone, hang out!”
Golden words! And why does no one read them literally, just like other words of the same James: “Does sweet and bitter water flow from the same spring?”
Let's look at the sources. First, what is a source? As a geologist, I would say that this is a natural outlet of groundwater to the earth's surface. Those., what is inside under pressure pours out, as soon as he finds a suitable hole. Or a suitable occasion.
In other words, by trying to curb the language, we are, as it were, trying to plug a hole in the earth's crust. Meaning? What is under pressure inside will find another reason to come out. Therefore, it makes sense to pay attention to what is under pressure. Sweet or bitter water?
The question, therefore, comes down to replacing the internal content or state, as you prefer. What about the language? And language is not the enemy, it is just the voice of what is inside.
It’s simple - don’t struggle with the language, it’s better to take care of your brains, your worldview, your relationship with God, finally.
After all, words are secondary to thoughts. And man himself is what his thoughts are. And all our failures and misfortunes are nothing more than a signal that we are in disharmony with the world around us, and the reason for this is negative or simply useless thoughts wandering in our minds. And if we want to change our lives for the better, then we must first change our thinking. By changing our thinking, we will change ourselves, and as a result, the world around us.
What should I do? Listen to wise people:
- Apostle Paul “Finally, my brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report, think about these things.”
- Moses "Beware lest any wicked thought enter into your heart"
- Yogis Beware of intemperance in thoughts. Watch your thoughts strictly. Having rejected everything bad in your thoughts, strive with pure thought for perfection."
- I don’t know who, but it was very correctly confirmed: Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they turn into . Watch your habits, they shape your character. Watch your character, for it determines your destiny."
- Marcus Aurelius "Our life is what our thoughts make it"
How can this be put into practice?
The word is a powerful weapon. Nizami Ganjavi argued that if it is said from the heart, it gets into the heart. It can kill. But sometimes a word brings harm to its owner. They say about such a case: “My tongue is my enemy.”
Since ancient times
My tongue is my enemy... Who said this first?
The expression has been known for a very long time. Its essence was repeated in one way or another by many famous rhetoricians. The study of the origin of phraseological units leads to the Holy Scriptures.
Jesus Christ gives the principle by which a person sins by word: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” And he explains that just as a tree is recognized by its fruits, so a person is recognized by its words. God's verdict depends on what he said. A careless word can incur his wrath.
The Apostle Paul wrote to James: “The tongue is fire.” It takes very little fire to set a forest on fire. Likewise, language ignites the cycle of life. He warned to use the tongue for blessing and not for cursing.
In Russia
The Russians came up with the second part of the proverb: “My tongue is my enemy, it prowls before the mind, seeks trouble.” There is a historical anecdote about this.
Once Suvorov received many complaints about the brave but immodest officer. Because of this deficiency, he made enemies for himself. The Generalissimo called him to his place and sympathetically informed him that there was a dangerous villain who had done him a lot of harm.
The officer suggests one thing or another, but Suvorov shakes his head. In the end, he locks the office, conspiratorially moves away from the door and very quietly asks the poor fellow to show his tongue. When the surprised military man does so, the wise commander reveals the secret: “This is your enemy.”
In jurisprudence
“You have the right to remain silent,” how many times have these words flown from the lips of American cops in action films! But what do they mean?
This formulation appeared in 1966 due to Ernesto Miranda. His testimony was removed because it was unconstitutional. Since then, upon arrest, a text is read out informing about the person’s right not to testify against himself. Any information obtained by the investigation up to this point cannot be considered evidence of guilt.
At the end of the 20th century, the Miranda rule was adopted in other countries. In particular, it says: “No one is obliged to testify against himself.” In addition, the Russian Federation extends this rule to the spouse, children, parents, brothers and sisters.
How to behave so as not to exclaim later: “My tongue is my enemy!”? With verbosity, careless, ill-considered words cannot be avoided. The simplest thing is to exercise your rights given by the Constitution. Inform representatives of the law that silence is your legal right, based on Article 51 of the Code of the Russian Federation.
Lawyers say many criminal cases contain conflicting testimony from suspects. This is a consequence of a person's inability to control his tongue. Verily, my tongue is my enemy!
Modern situations
If we do not consider criminal stories, but focus only on careless and thoughtless words, we can distinguish five situations. Following the advice will help you become more tactful, maintain neutrality, not allow yourself to be manipulated, and maintain friendship.
These are the cases when the proverb “My tongue is my enemy” takes on a literal meaning:
1. Topics of human origin and religion, attitudes towards politics and relatives are deeply intimate issues. Even talking with parents about morality can lead to conflict. If this happens, be more careful in future. This does not apply to like-minded people who can talk for hours.
2. Listening to gossip and criticizing those who are absent can have disastrous consequences. With a high probability, your presence at the site of the verbal auto-da-fé will become known. Therefore, think: if you had to answer for your words in court, would you be able to provide evidence? What if the conversation is recorded or copied and posted online?
3. When they demand a quick decision, this is manipulation. It’s very profitable to buy, get a free examination and the like. No matter how tempting the offer may be, a person who respects you gives you time to think about it.
4. “Tell me, just honestly...” This phrase should make you wary. A person who allows lies in others, who asks for the truth as leniency, can be a big let down. Answer this one with what you think: “You, friend, look not 25, but 35. You’ve grown fat, lazy, and have the ambition of Miss World,” and her face will stretch out. She was waiting for a compliment, consolation, encouragement, and for her - a dusty bag from around the corner. Well, the friendship is over!
5. It happens that your monologue is interrupted by a phone call. Here it is better to stop your narration until you are asked to continue the story. If the interlocutor listens out of politeness (believe me, you will notice this if you want!) - this is also a reason to wrap up the story. Otherwise, you can be considered a terrible bore.
As long as human society exists, social laws exist. You may not believe in them, you may not know them, but they work. Let's remember the words of Decimus Junius Juvenal, who lived in the first century, who also noticed the essence of the saying that my tongue is my enemy. He said: “The tongue of a fool is his ruin.” So as not to later regret the word that flew out, which, as you know, is not a sparrow.
“As are the thoughts in his soul, so is he” (C. Solomon).
Our mouths are the expression of our thoughts. Linguistic psychotherapy is based on human reasoning, developed in Crimea by Kalina N.F. At TNU named after. Vernadsky.
Through the speech and reasoning of the subject, it is possible to identify the psychological problem of this person and help her.
In psychology, there is an original way to successfully solve industrial, administrative and other problems - “brainstorming”. A group of people gathers and each participant expresses everything that comes to his mind and sometimes does not seem relevant to the problem. All ideas are carefully written down and critically evaluated by another group of people. At the end of the brainstorming session, the best proposal for solving the problem is selected.
Our language speaks about who we are. Our words express the essence of our being. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” : The Lord teaches in the Gospel of Matthew.
With the help of language we communicate, convey our thoughts, feelings, information.
Our lips and tongue have a multifunctional purpose.
Language is the enemy.
The wise King Solomon wrote in his parables: “The tongue of the wise heals.” We all remember well when we were little and we had problems, we felt bad, how it immediately became easier when one of our parents told us words of consolation. It would seem that only simple words, but what relief they bring in moments of grief and sadness in our lives. “How good is the word at the right time” , - confirms King Solomon.
V. Frankl, a representative of humanistic psychology, created the method of logotherapy, that is, therapy with the help of words.
This principle is widely used by psychologists, psychotherapists, priests, as well as various charlatans and pseudo-healers to deceive gullible people.
With the help of the tongue we can harness our body and achieve perfection. He who does not sin in word is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body. Our language controls our life. “Ships, no matter how large they are and no matter how strong the winds blow, are guided with a small rudder wherever the pilot wants; so the tongue is a small member, but does a lot.” (James 3:5)
Language is the steering wheel of our life. All the words we speak have the power to materialize and also have creative potential. At the beginning of everything there was a thought, an idea, a word, and then matter, the embodiment of the word in life. This is how God created and created the earth according to His Word.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. It was with God in the beginning. Everything came into being through Him, and without Him nothing came into being that came into being.
Our words also create and control us, our body and mind.
What we have today in our lives, we talked about yesterday. What we profess today we will have tomorrow.
In part, this can also be called a technique of suggestion. Using positive words of faith (what God says about us in the Holy Scriptures), filled with the promises of life, we will “float” in this direction, be filled with health, faith, optimism, receive healing of spirit, soul and body, mind, emotions, physical ailments.
Our insides are filled with what our lips say.
From the fruit of a man's mouth his belly is filled; He is satisfied with the product of his mouth.
“Whoever loves life and wants to see good days, keep his tongue from evil and from deceitful speech,” writes the wise Solomon.
Without knowing the destructive power of the tongue, we often get into trouble.
Language is fire.
If we remember what is the beginning of any quarrel, the destruction of relationships, we will find that these are the words we have spoken.
Like adding wood to start a fire, our words fuel a quarrel. Fire burns all living things in its path, and also our words, language, in one moment it can destroy and destroy everything good and good that has been built over the years, bringing life or death. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Our words either help us build and create our lives, or destroy us.
Therefore, before you say anything, you need to think carefully, and not vice versa: say and then think.
Very often it is useful to simply remain silent. “Silence is golden,” says popular wisdom. He who keeps his mouth keeps his soul and his tongue from harm. Our lips can protect us from various troubles and troubles.
The mouths of fools spew folly, but the lips of the wise guard them.
The tongue is a means of defilement.
A person can defile himself with his tongue, uttering rude, nasty, obscene words, as well as spreading gossip.
The Lord Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew teaches us: “It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth defiles a person.”
By insulting or calling a person names, we desecrate not him, but ourselves. Everything that we wish and say to other people will definitely come into our lives according to the law of sowing and reaping.
Language is the enemy.
Indecent language in common people, called swearing, has a cult function. In ancient Russian manuscripts, swearing was considered a feature of demonic behavior. Swearing is directly related to evil spirits; by uttering swear words, a person attracts curses into his life, which extend to his children, his family.
One interesting observation is connected with foul language.
In those countries in whose national cultures there are no curse words indicating the reproductive organs, cerebral palsy and Down diseases have not been detected. When a person swears, swears, screams, he throws out negative energy. By mentioning the reproductive organs in your words, this negative energy is directed towards them. Therefore, abusers become impotent early and also suffer from urological diseases.
All the words we speak affect not only our entire life, but we will also be accountable to the Lord for every word we speak on the day of judgment, after our death.
I tell you that for every idle word that people speak, they will give an answer on the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.
Language is a friend
You and I all sin a lot, both in deeds and in words, no matter how hard we try not to sin. And we can be justified before God and avoid judgment only through accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and His atoning sacrifice on the cross of Calvary for all of us.
Where we will end up in eternity depends on the decision of our heart and the spoken words of the prayer of repentance: with God in heaven or with the devil in hell.
For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
Heavenly Father, I believe that Jesus Christ was crucified for my sins on the cross of Calvary and rose from the dead. I admit that I am a sinner and repent of all the sins I have committed. I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and ask: forgive me, Lord! Come with the Holy Spirit into my life, heal all my weaknesses and illnesses. I believe that in your wounds I am already healed. Help me to watch my ways and not sin with my tongue. Help me to accept Your Love and remain in the fear of the Lord all the days of my life.
How often does the thought “why did I say that” occur to you - once a month, several times a week, every day?
Are you increasingly losing control over your thoughts because your language is outpacing them?
Yes, getting rid of this disease is quite difficult, but if you have thought about it and are ready to fight for the power of the mind over speech, these recommendations are for you!
Causes and Effects
So, first you need to understand why you, specifically, should not say the first thing that comes to mind: Do you often offend people around you with your thoughts, give away your own and other people’s secrets, or have you earned a reputation as a stupid person and no one takes you seriously?
Why is this happening?
Many people confuse this bad habit with emotionality. So, in reality, in hot-tempered and temperamental people who are able to control their minds, relapses occur within normal limits and if the subject of communication touches on something truly important. From time to time, we all need to let off some steam.
Don't look for excuses if it prevents you from living in society! Nobody is asking you to shove your opinion far away - we are talking about the delicacy and timeliness of certain conversations.
Role play
Imagine that you are a secret agent, and the information that is stored in your head, and again, the conclusions and judgments that emerge can cost you your life. Perhaps not everyone will want to play such a game with themselves and will not take it seriously, but think about it, some professionals live like this!
Training on little things
No matter how harmful we are, there will be people around who love and accept us as we are. Try filtering your speech with them. Even if you let it slip again before you think, it won’t be any worse. But if you change, your loved ones will be the first to appreciate it!
Reminders
A great way to place quotes somewhere on the topic “how useful it is to think before you speak”: stickers on your desktop, screensaver on your computer or phone.
It is impossible to unlearn a habit unless you constantly remind yourself of it. You can take notes, marking with a plus every time you managed to first come up with something to say and then voice it.
Put yourself in someone else's shoes
Remember several cases for which you are ready to invent a time machine and rush into the past in order to shut your mouth in time. Have you offended someone or put someone in an awkward position, perhaps you have set yourself up? Then it will be easier for you to feel the power of words, which sometimes hurt more than a bullet.
It is absolutely certain that every person, at least once in his life, has been a victim of someone’s frivolously thrown phrases. A chatterbox always becomes a bad hero: a villain, a fool or a hypocrite. Do you want to acquire one of these roles?
Know how to be distracted
We are not all perfect, there are not many of us who are well-mannered and polite, and even fewer are calm about criticism or aggression towards us. Let's imagine that you are involved in a conflict with a person who talks a lot and thinks absolutely nothing before or after what is said. Even if you have perfectly mastered the skill of “thinking, then speaking,” is it really worth wasting your nerves on a person with a complete lack of delicacy and respect for others? Find your own surefire way: breathe deeply, count to ten, think about something pleasant, or add complex numbers in your head. Anything will do as long as it keeps you cool. Don't give in to provocations!
Getting rid of the habit of saying whatever comes to mind is no easier than quitting smoking. But if you want to protect yourself from the consequences, start acting today!
