“Indeed, pride, which manifests itself in vanity and arrogance, in intoxication with one’s own capabilities, indicates an inflated ego and can be destructive. But if we are talking about the satisfaction and joy we feel when we see the successful outcome of our hard work, then it is an important and useful emotion that helps us become more persistent and resilient. And for people in creative professions, wounded pride at some moment of crisis can be an important sign that the wrong decision has been made. In some cases, this may mean it's time to change strategy or even take a completely different direction.
Let me give you the example of ultramarathoner Dean Karnazes, who once covered a distance of 563 kilometers in one race, and another time ran 50 marathons in 50 days. This man appears to have very serious motivation. But where did it come from? The impetus came on his 30th birthday, when Karnazes was reflecting on his life and career in a very promising field of sales, which, however, did not give him any sense of pride. As psychologist Jessica Tracey of the University of British Columbia in Canada explains, it was this lack of self-esteem that pushed Karnazes to become one of the world's most successful long-distance runners. “Karnazes started running not because he knew it would change his life, but because he wanted to feel something,” writes Jessica Tracy.
Injured pride turns out to be a kind of “barometer of achievement” that encourages us to develop
If you've recently experienced disappointment - say, your carefully thought-out project was rejected or a commission for your creative work fell through - your self-esteem collapsed and you began to criticize yourself, try not to plunge yourself into this depressive state. Instead, use your hurt pride to motivate yourself to do something and make a difference. If you are quite successful, but your achievements do not give you true satisfaction and pride, perhaps it is time to reconsider your work priorities.
Overall, we could all benefit from listening to this feeling. “We often live by inertia, when it seems that everything seems to be in order with us, but still we lack this feeling of victory, of achieving heights,” explains the psychologist. “Awareness of self-esteem often pushes us to do something else and live somehow differently.”
Together with her colleagues at the University of British Columbia and the University of Rochester, Jessica Tracy conducted a series of studies on this topic. For example, they measured students' sense of pride in their exam achievements and noticed that those who reported feeling an ego sting (lack of satisfaction, sense of accomplishment) for their low score tended to say they planned to study for the exams differently. And on the next exam a few weeks later, they performed better. Those students who received poor grades on the first exam and did not feel that their pride was hurt did not show such improvements.
Also, as part of the study, psychologists interviewed members of the running club after the race. The bottom line is the same: those who ran poorly and were hurt by it tended to say they planned to change their training regimen and improved their performance in the next race. These results suggest that wounded pride is a kind of “barometer of achievement” that motivates us to develop. The most important thing, of course, is not just to notice, but to take the time and effort to reflect on that feeling (or lack thereof) to truly boost your motivation.
Do you see the cause of troubles in something that can really be fixed, or in your personal qualities?
But one word of caution: if you have experienced a whole series of disappointments and are not just hurt, but depressed and have completely lost self-confidence, then you risk reaching self-deprecation. Shame is the feeling that “I can’t do anything, I’m not good at this, which means I won’t try anymore, because it will end in failure anyway.” Such a statement is not at all motivating. “Feeling hurt pride, on the other hand, means you're missing validation for your competence and accomplishments and are trying to re-assert yourself,” explains Jessica Tracy.
There is a great way to determine what exactly you are feeling - wounded pride or shame. Consider whether your troubles are rooted in something that can be fixed, such as a lack of effort or a poor strategy, or something that reflects the kind of person you are. For example, if your latest project received little positive feedback and you explain it by saying that you are a bad designer and have no talent, this, of course, is demoralizing. But if you feel passionate about being proud of yourself and know what you need to do to succeed next time, it can be a powerful motivating force.
So treat your sense of self-worth with...respect. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be even more proud of yourself for your passion, dedication and determination.
See more details. on the website 99U.
About the author
Christian Jarrett– psychologist, award-winning science journalist, editor and presenter of the official blog British Psychological Society Research Digest. Author and co-author of several books, including “The Rough Guide to Psychology”, Rough Guides, 2011.
1 For more information, see J. Tracy, Take Pride, Why The Deadliest Sin Holds The Secret To Human Success, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016.
Many literary works and moral teachings of famous people teach people to be proud. However, strangely enough, pride does not bring people happiness. There are certain reasons for this.
Why does pride have a bad effect on our lives? The fact is that we assign to her all the positive properties of dignity. But these are completely different concepts. Let's find out why.
Why pride has a bad effect on our lives
Pride implies high self-esteem, a reluctance to cross certain boundaries, because of which we can diminish our importance in our own eyes.
A proud person may be offended by something, openly demonstrating his reluctance to further communication. Often his pride makes him rise above others. At the same time, a person experiences positive feelings, believing that he is really better than others in something. If someone begins to encroach on this belief, challenge it, undermine authority, they will encounter strong indignation and opposition. What's wrong with that, you say?
I will list the main arguments in favor of the fact that pride (arrogance, arrogance) is bad, because it:
- Does not accept compromises. It is very difficult to come to a common decision when a person constantly checks that his rights and freedoms are not infringed (this is how he understands any concessions).
- Blinding. It is impossible to prove wrong, to point out mistakes. Any criticism is understood as an insult and is strictly suppressed.
- Destroys relationships. Proud people become unpleasant in communication, demonstrating their confidence in their own superiority.
- It deprives you of opportunities. Pride prevents full communication, networking, establishing useful contacts, and productive cooperation.
- Makes a person unhappy. Constantly defending their right to be proud, such people unwittingly get drawn into conflicts. The offended suffer and accumulate grievances.
- Cuts off the path to reconciliation. Even when he is the offender, the proud man never asks for forgiveness. After all, this is beneath his dignity.
- As a result, it becomes the cause of loneliness (overt or hidden).
There are of course many other negative aspects of pride, but these are the most basic.
The opposite of the quality in question is self-esteem. Let me draw parallels on how it differs from pride:
- A sense of self-worth does not depend on outside opinions. Self-esteem is based on understanding your strengths and accepting yourself. A person is confident in himself, he does not need to prove his importance to everyone. In fact, he doesn’t care much about what they say about him if he thinks he’s right.
- Therefore, such people calmly accept criticism and derive a positive experience from it.
- People themselves are drawn to someone who exudes dignity. Subconsciously it is difficult not to respect him. It becomes interesting, I want to get to know him better.
- The ability to behave with dignity and show respect for others helps to establish useful connections and promotes long-term cooperation.
- For someone who respects himself and knows his worth, it is not difficult to apologize if he is wrong. Even to be the first to reconcile when he is offended. His self-esteem does not suffer from this at all. This is how people get rid of grievances and resolve conflicts.
- The result: a person is harmonious, happy, in demand.
Remember the beautiful biblical legend: the most beautiful angel became proud and wanted to be equal to God. For which he was expelled from heaven. His essence was destroyed by envy, anger, thirst for power and worship. Pride is the beginning of all sins and misfortunes.
Pride resembles a cunning mycelium, penetrating with its tentacle roots into different areas of the human psyche. This happens from childhood, when the child’s vision of the world flows from his parents and others. The foundation is laid in the words: “You’re a boy! Behave with dignity,” “Shame on you, you’re a good boy, you can’t be greedy, give the girl a toy,” “Guests will come, you should be nicely dressed and don’t knock on the plate with your fork - it's indecent." etc.
Our upbringing shapes pride from childhood. The law of comparison is the basis. You should correctly understand and see the essence of this phenomenon. First of all, we must see that pride is a predator. A predator who hunts for people’s energy, which by its nature is intended for completely different tasks. Pride in our perception is often seen as innocent boasting, gambling excitement, cheerful showing off in front of other people, but this is just a disguise.
Osho gives one successful and ruthless example that reveals the predatory essence of pride, its destructive power. Women and men walk along the streets of New York. Fur vests are in fashion this winter. Some women wear vests for $40, others for $150, but there are vests for $2,000. What prompted the woman to pay so much money for a vest? Fashion? Good taste? But you can buy a beautiful vest for one hundred or two hundred dollars. To understand what's going on here, let's look at people's internal reactions and the redistribution of emotional energy between them. A woman wearing a mink vest feels uplifted, strong, triumphant, confident and superior.
And what do other women feel when they look at her? The desire to compete, envy, and some - powerlessness and depression. This is exactly the kind of energy they give to the owner of a $2,000 mink vest. It is these energies that her pride hunts, filling her with a sense of superiority and triumph. The trick is that the feeling of depression arises from the fact that many of the women walking down the street have never had such a vest and never will have it, and this is exactly what gives pleasure to the owner of this vest, since she is identified with her pride. She likes to hold others by the throat, she likes to drink their envy and powerlessness, and on the outside all this is disguised by fashion, good taste, coquetry, charm, etc.
Look at the depth of manifestation of pride in yourself and your friends. It only takes a little honesty and courage to do this work and face the predator in the depths of yourself. Moreover, this predator hunts for the energy of your friends, whom you may love with another part of your being...
Is your pride going through the roof? Find out by ordering a consultation on the Soul Formula (private messages)
To the question What is PRIDE? Is being proud good or bad? given by the author YUYU the best answer is Pride and pride are different things
Reply from Lisa Slit[guru]
pride is bad pride is good when it is not stronger than something more important (friendship love) the bible says a lot of things but people change and don’t care about that
Reply from Anna Akkermanka[newbie]
Pride is bad, it is putting yourself above others, considering yourself extraordinary and caring only about your own “I”, despising others. in general, this is bad and it prevents people from finding happiness and living in general.
Reply from Skeptic[guru]
Proud from the word pride.
Pride (lat. superbia) or Arrogance is the desire to consider yourself independent and the only reason for all the good that is in you and around you.
Pride (lat. superbia) is a strong feeling (or desire) of self-respect, pleasure from one’s own successes, with which a person identifies himself.
Reply from ARBAT 7007[guru]
Let's not further philosophize and turn to the help:
“Pride (lat. superbia) or Arrogance is the desire to consider yourself independent and the only reason for all the good that is in you and around you.
If we were not overcome by pride, we would not complain about the pride of others.
Francois La Rochefoucauld
According to the Jewish sages, there are qualities in which a person cannot behave in an average way, but must move towards one of the extremes - for example, pride, when it is not enough for a person to just be modest, but must be humble, very modest. Therefore, it is not said about Moses simply “modest,” but “the meekest of all people on earth.” And for the same reason the sages indicated: “Be very, very humble.” And they also said that everyone who exalts his heart denies the foundations of faith, as it is said: “See to it that your heart is not lifted up and you forget the Lord your God.” In Christianity, pride is the most serious of the seven deadly sins and is believed to have led to the fall of Lucifer, who became Satan. Pride differs from simple pride in that a sinner overwhelmed by pride is proud of his qualities before God, forgetting that he received them from Him. "
So - pride is a sin. And whether to follow this or not - as the Americans would say - “It"s up to you" - as you want or can.
Reply from Alla Shemyakina[guru]
The generally accepted concept of pride is nothing more than self-respect. You need to respect yourself (not at the expense of respect for others, of course). We are all created in the image and likeness, and therefore not respecting ourselves and others is disrespect for God. Pride is exalting oneself above others, that is, in fact, disrespect for everyone else. Do people have the right to be a judge of everything else, thereby equating themselves with the creator? Humble people are invisible. They do not shout, do not swear, do not consider themselves better than others and have the right to judge anyone. By the way, they don’t do wraps either, because they submit to fate and if the Lord sends them a child, they carry him and raise him, no matter how difficult and difficult it may be. Therefore, paraphrasing your question, I will answer this way: respecting yourself and others is good, but descending into drunkenness, alcoholism, debauchery, or condemning someone, even if in your opinion this is a completely unworthy person, is bad....
You can be proud of a lot and not be burdened with pride.
We can also feel a sense of pride in a child who, as it seems to us, is so smart, smarter than all the others.
You can tell a girl that she has no sense of pride, because... allows her boyfriend to treat her badly.
Three different views pride. What does the Bible say about pride?
The Bible on Pride
The Bible speaks unequivocally about pride: sin!
is a mask that hides fear. Pride originates in low self-esteem and begins from within to force a person to act according to the principle: “I am better than everyone else, I will make everyone love me.” He is simply afraid of turning out to be a nobody, a nonentity in the eyes of people.
In the Bible, in the book of the prophet Obadiah (1:3-4), this is what it says about pride:
“The pride of your heart has deceived you; you live in the clefts of the rocks on an elevated place and say in your heart: “Who will bring me down to the earth?” But even if you, like an eagle, fly high and make your nest among the stars, then from there I will bring you down, says the Lord.”
There is not a single line in the Bible that says that you should be proud of something, that you should be proud of something. And all the components of pride - arrogance, vanity, arrogance, pompousness - are called evil:
“All vanity is evil” (James 4:16).
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” Proverbs 16:18.
“The arrogant stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord prospers” Proverbs 28:25.
“A man’s pride humbles him, but he who is humble in spirit gains honor” Proverbs 29:23.
Scientists about pride
Philologists, psychologists and philosophers can find many definitions of pride. They highlight the positive and negative components of this term. They separate pride from arrogance and arrogance. Equate pride to honor, freedom, strength, courage, success. They believe that pride should be inherent in every fully developed personality.
People and pride
I think that all people are susceptible to pride. There is hardly a person who is completely devoid of pride.
There are many different kinds of pride that now represent nothing of value at all. So why be proud? If pride leads to stress. After all, what we were proud of ultimately disappoints us and does not live up to our hopes. I think we need to take a simpler approach to life, avoid all sorts of feelings of pride in order to protect ourselves from stress.
For example, some event occurs in my life that begins to cause me feeling of pride. I calm myself down. I understand that these events must take place in my life. Everything that happened is normal, good, wonderful, and as it should be. Thank God this happened! But there is nothing to be proud of! After all, if I do something, I do what I should do. If I have success, this is a reward for my efforts. That's it! Thanks to the Almighty for this!
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