What to do if you have lost interest in everything. How to regain the desire to live? Reasons why life becomes boring

No one is immune from life's hardships. Sometimes problems are stronger than us. They seem to turn into a large, black cloud, hanging over every corner of life, casting a shadow on everything that used to give strength and joy. Interest in everything has disappeared - if a person realizes this, it means he has fallen into the web of deep depression.

In such a situation, accompanying symptoms that can prove the seriousness of the impending threat are not always identified. The patient may appear to be as positive and productive as before. And this is the great danger of such depression. A person behaves as usual, while a catastrophe develops inside him.

Depression begins to control the mind of its prisoner. Gradually, his attitude towards the events of everyday life and the people around him changes beyond recognition. The patient ceases to distinguish minor incidents from global ones. Everything becomes the same - gray, insignificant, uninteresting, not worth emotions.

Causes of the problem

Lost interest in life - this problem is so subjective that it is hardly possible to fit here a complete list of the reasons that led to this condition. But soul experts identify the main factors that can trigger depression.

If you have lost interest in life and don’t want anything, and this has been going on for more than a week, it’s time to sound the alarm. Depression has serious consequences.

The danger of internal indifference

Psychiatrists warn: it is not depression itself that is terrible, but what a person turns into who does not treat it. The main dangers that await every patient with depression:

If you have lost interest in life, it is necessary to identify the exact reason that caused this condition. If a person has become depressed from unrequited love, and they begin to teach him not to be afraid of heights, the illness will progress. If the exact cause is not identified, any treatment will be useless.

Fortunately, depression can be corrected, but it is always a long and complex effort. And no matter how skeptical you are about psychotherapy, unfortunately you won’t be able to do without it - in the case of an advanced form of depression. Advice from the series “Become simpler, go outside, hug the cat, buy yourself a Snickers” is unlikely to help a depressed patient. Although establishing a rest and sleep schedule, taking vitamins and the desire to get well are important help in this difficult struggle.

It often happens that at a certain period in life, interest in everything that previously seemed important and attractive may disappear. The person claims that he has lost interest in life, and the fault is apathy, a state of deep depression. In such a situation, extensive symptoms are observed. It is important that in some cases there is no depression and the mood does not change. In this case, there is . This is dangerous and very difficult, because identifying somatized depression is quite difficult. In particular, a negative background takes place, and a person begins to think that his life has only bad sides. In addition, he is sure that the same is true for his loved ones.

In addition, in such a state, people are sure that they themselves are the cause of the failures that occur. In this case, it makes sense to find out what apathy is, because it is known that in this case a person becomes indifferent and does not strive for anything. Apathy is characterized by the fact that there is indifference to almost everything, and it does not matter that events of varying importance occur in life, no activity arouses interest and attention. Is it possible to somehow overcome this indifference? Psychotherapists assure that there are always ways, it is important that the person knows about this, and does not think that he is the only one experiencing such a problem.

Causes of this condition

It has long been proven that there are many reasons why a person can literally withdraw into himself.” First of all, professional activity affects, if new stresses at work are added every day, then self-confidence can disappear in anyone, and thoughts arise that it is impossible to cope with the task, so depression is only one step away.

Another reason is the presence of “childish traits” in a person, and they are mainly found in men. You can often hear that a man is a second child, and this statement has a certain meaning. It is known that if a man finds it difficult to overcome any difficulties in life, and this continues for a long time, then he can withdraw into himself, completely surrendering to depression.

Although this does not happen often, the explanation is simple. This is the loss of loved ones, divorce, the collapse of a dream that I have been striving for all my life, and so on. In addition, there are people who are naturally depressed. There is almost always a “mask of detachment” on their faces, although friends and relatives try to support them.

You should know that it makes no sense to try to cheer up such people, since after you leave they will again become gloomy and withdrawn. If you have lost interest in your usual life, you must not only try to get rid of this condition on your own and with the help of friends, but also get help from a doctor.

Usually people neglect treatment, even if they understand that they are suffering from depression, and this is a serious mistake. Currently, depression can be successfully treated with medications, and the results of such therapy are always pleasing.

Find out the cause

If everything has become indifferent, you don’t want to do anything, there is no interest in life, you need to find out what caused the depression. In practice, there are cases when a person suffers from a misunderstanding of the opposite sex and does not find a common language. Over time, a withdrawal occurs and thoughts of hopelessness come. A person begins to think that no one will ever be seriously interested in him.

Moreover, this situation arises not only among young people, but also with adults. If there is no self-confidence, a person is tense, then he needs to be liberated, he needs an incentive to gain confidence.

It's no secret that many women get out of depression thanks to shopping. To feel confident, renewed and irresistible, just change your style, and then the whole world will see these updates. Of course, shopping alone is not always enough; you will need to make new acquaintances and go on a date.

According to experts, some women are single only because they are perfect, and men are simply afraid of their beauty. As a result, such ladies lose interest in life, because they cannot find a man who is able to truly love them, not only under the influence of external attractiveness.

There are moments that contribute to withdrawal from apathy and depressive states. In this case, individual qualities and character traits play a role. It is important to balance your diet, eat regularly, and at the same time, forget about snacks, you need to eat according to your schedule. I should be calculated in such a way that there are no deficiencies in minerals and vitamins.

Get yourself a success notebook and write down in it everything that you have succeeded in, even the little things. Include dark chocolate in your diet, although it may seem trivial, but this method also helps improve the situation. The thing is that thanks to chocolate, endophins are released.

There are cases when a person was returned to normal life with the help of a rapid shock state. That is, a certain incident has occurred, measures need to be taken, so the patient immediately forgets about his depression, he begins to work on solving the problem. But such moments are carried out under the supervision of a specialist; it is not recommended to carry them out on your own; you can get even deeper negative consequences.

anonymously

Hello, my name is Tatyana. Lately I have lost interest in life. I eat, sleep, watch TV and sit at the computer. I do household chores through force. I took care of my old grandmother for a long time, the three of us lived, she, my child and I. My communication with people was limited for a long time, no interesting events happened. Last year my grandmother died. I took her death very hard. I was left alone with my son ,he is 11 years old. I got a job as a taxi dispatcher. This job seemed to be created for me. But I had to leave because of a conflict with my superiors. Then I got a job as a hairdresser, I had to go to another city. I found myself in a completely different world. I was surrounded by creative people with eyes burning with a thirst for life, it was very fun and interesting to study, and I was always the center of attention. Since I am a sociable person , I like to joke, at school I was always the leader in the class, in companies I was the ringleader. At the end of my studies, I returned home, and in my soul there was a feeling that I was going to bury myself alive. Although at that time I had plenty of plans and strength to implement them. At home, I was unable to get a job and I was never able to open my own business Self-realization failed again. I have clients, but they are few and they come very rarely. And I want to see them less and less. I decided to move to the city where I studied, there were many friends and mentors there, everyone was happy about my move and were waiting for me. But it was at that moment that I found out that I was pregnant. My common-law husband and child were very happy about this news. My husband said that we must legitimize our relationship. In general, everyone is happy, they congratulate us, but I am more and more depressed. I live for my son and husband, that is, their life. But nothing happens in mine, I am degrading, turning into a plant. I don’t want to sit on my husband’s neck, but I don’t see self-realization and I can’t understand what to do next. I can’t do hairdressing now. Please advise how I can continue to live?

Hello, Tatyana! I can disappoint you, because... they do not write out prescriptions describing how a person should live further. He must make such decisions independently, since only he is responsible for his life. Let's try to understand your situation, but this will require additional information on your part. The first thing you need to understand is what do you want for yourself? What did you do before when you lived with your grandmother? How will you understand that you have self-realized and do not continue to degrade, i.e. What will your life look like with self-realization? Do I understand correctly that you perceive the lack of work, the inability to be the center of attention of others and the lack of communication as degradation or is it expressed in something else? I found some contradiction in your words: on the one hand, you trained as a hairdresser, but for some reason you don’t want to see the small number of clients that you have, although you tried to get a job in this specialty and open your own business. What do you think is the reason? You write that everyone is happy about the news about yours. Are you happy about this and are you ready to legitimize your relationship with your common-law husband? I'm waiting for your answers.

anonymously

Yes, you understood me correctly in that I consider degradation when I cannot work and communicate with other people. And I don’t even know whether I should be happy or not about my pregnancy. The birth of a child and caring for him will take me two or three years. I will have to devote all this time only to him. I'm afraid that I will lose my skills during this time, that I will fall behind fashion and new technologies in the profession. I am unsure of the future and do not value now the few clients that I have, because I think that I will still lose them due to the birth of the baby. The husband says that we will definitely legalize the relationship, but does not say exactly when. I tried to talk about this topic, but he didn’t answer anything concrete and I decided not to put pressure on him. When I was caring for my grandmother, I didn’t work anywhere. I tried to get a job several times, but each time I had to leave work when my grandmother was sick. In the end, I decided to devote myself entirely to caring for her. After all, she raised me instead of my mother and I could not leave her. Communication with other people was limited for me then, as it is now. I became a very insecure person due to all these events. Therefore, I cannot imagine anything concrete about how I can realize myself. I want to work, communicate with people and bring them positive emotions. Something like this.

Good evening, Tatyana! You know, you now remind me of smart Elsa from the Brothers Grimm fairy tale. In the fairy tale, the parents sent their daughter to the cellar to get beer for the matchmakers. She went down into the cellar and suddenly noticed a pickaxe on the wall above her, which the masons had forgotten there by mistake. And then Clever Elsa began to cry and lament: “If I marry Hans, and we have a child, and he grows up, and we send him to the cellar to draw beer, suddenly a pickaxe will fall on his head and kill him to death.” So she sits and cries, wails with all her might about the upcoming misfortune. Also, you haven’t lost your clients yet, but you’re already sad about it. You haven’t lost your skills yet, but you’re already afraid of losing them. Think about it, you don’t live in the middle of nowhere, you have the Internet and you can communicate with professionals, learn the latest fashion trends, and exchange opinions on forums or in real time. You can also learn something new in hairdressing through webinars without leaving your home. This way you can always keep up with the times. As for practical skills, you can discuss this issue with your husband and, for example, go to a client’s home or to a nearby salon for one hour or at any other time convenient for you. There are many options, choose the one that suits you best. The only sad thing is that you don’t know whether you should be happy about your unborn child or not. As a rule, we either rejoice or not, but we don’t think about whether or not we should do it. You write that you want to bring positive emotions to people, but unfortunately, you don’t yet know how or don’t allow yourself to bring positive emotions to yourself, but you need to start with this. You view a child as an obstacle on the path to your self-realization, but for some reason you do not consider him as a gift from above, through which your self-realization can come. Start bringing joy to your child today and please him with your good mood and optimistic attitude! Read the children's book "Polyanna" by Eleanor Porter; you will not only enjoy it, but it will also give you good food for thought. As for your relationship with your husband, choose a date and time when both you and he can calmly discuss the issue of legitimizing your relationship, because both of you are responsible for the child! I would recommend that, if possible, you seek an in-person consultation with a specialist to work through your fears, work with negative attitudes and replace them with positive ones, find your resources and consider possible areas for your self-realization. An important issue is the analysis of your childhood and relationship with your grandmother, but this question can be postponed for now due to your situation, and first of all concentrate on yourself, your child, your family. Peace and harmony to you!

anonymously

Thank you very much, Svetlana Nikolaevna! I will try to follow your advice. And about my childhood, you are right - it was terrible. I don’t have the opportunity to consult with a specialist in person; after all, I live in the middle of nowhere. And I can only communicate with good specialists via the Internet. Therefore, I look forward to our further communication with you.

Tatyana, good evening! If you have any questions or just want to discuss any situation that concerns you, do not hesitate to write. When you read the book, share your impressions, I will be interested to know about them. I recommend that you watch the film “Baby” (Bruce Willis in the title role), perhaps it will help you understand yourself regarding the choice of profession. The film is very light and positive, it is available on the Internet at kinozal.tv. Good luck to you!

anonymously

Hello, Svetlana Nikolaevna! I read the book "Pollyanna" and really liked it. She reminded me a little of me in childhood, when I was the same naive and kind girl. And once again it confirmed my opinion that we all come from childhood. But it seems to me that in adult life it is impossible to remain in this state all the time. After all, life brings us so many disappointments. Although I think it’s worth trying to look for more positive aspects in everything. Unbeknownst to myself, I have recently begun to look for more positive emotions, I began to laugh more. But communication with people is still limited. Therefore, I cannot yet share my joys with others, with the exception of my loved ones. But I already consider this my small victory over my depressed state. For which I sincerely thank you, Svetlana Nikolaevna. You shook me up and showed me the right direction. Thank you again and look forward to further communication.

Tatyana, good evening! Thank you for your review of the book, I was pleased to know that you not only liked the book, but that it reminded you of yourself as a child. It’s also joyful that you are not sitting still, but are already taking the first steps to pull yourself out of the “depressing swamp.” It is also important that you start laughing, that you make your loved ones happy, and when loved ones are happy, then this makes you doubly happy! Super! As for disappointments, you know that life is like a zebra: the stripe is white, the stripe is black. If there are only white stripes, then sooner or later life will become insipid and boring. But all kinds of obstacles and crises are a great chance for spiritual growth, because the word “crisis” itself translated from Chinese means “danger” and “chance.” True, first of all, as a rule, we notice only the negative side, but the advantages are seen later, although many also overlook them. And if the situation is negative and it is no longer possible to change it, then you should at least try to change your attitude towards it. I remember a parable on this topic. "Two angels stopped for the night in the house of a rich family. The family was inhospitable and put them to sleep in a cold basement. When the owners were making the bed, the elder angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why he did this, the elder answered : - Things are not what they seem. The next night they came to the house of a very poor but hospitable man and his wife, fed the angels and put them to bed in their beds. In the morning, the angels found the owners of the house crying. was the only income of the family, died. The younger angel asked the elder: “How did you allow this to happen to the first family, who had everything, but you allowed the poor family to lose their only cow?” “Why are things not what they seem?” the elder angel repeated. When we were in the basement, I realized that there was a treasure of gold in the hole in the wall and I repaired the wall that the owners could not find it. When we slept in a poor family, the angel of death came for the owner's wife. I gave him the cow. Things are not what they seem!" Now let's talk about your limited communication. Tell me, by whom or what exactly is this communication limited? What exactly prevents you from communicating? Lack of work? So you can communicate by interests! What interests and hobbies do you have What is there in your city that might interest you, where you could express yourself? Maybe it's dancing or fitness for expectant mothers, or maybe it's some kind of courses, or maybe it's communication on Internet forums on professional interests, or maybe it's singing karaoke, embroidery or finger painting? Please write 2 steps that you are ready to take in the near future to remove the restriction on communication and set the exact date when you will do this. If you have not yet registered on the website kinozal.tv, then do so. It describes in detail how to download movies. I recommend watching very positive films: 1) “Last Holiday” (American with Gerard Depardieu) and 2) Always Say Yes (with Jim Carrey). I look forward to your new victories!

Lack of mood or desire to do something is a completely normal phenomenon that periodically occurs in every person for no reason or because of some problem. It’s worse when apathy continues for several weeks, months, years, when interest in life disappears completely.

You should not brush aside such a problem. Prolonged apathy is a psychological problem that can lead to serious consequences. Starting from deterioration of financial situation, dismissal from work or divorce and ending with suicide. Until apathy leads to this, it needs to be treated. And, first of all, figure out the reason.

Why did interest in life disappear?

There are many reasons for lack of interest in life and mood. This condition is often associated with:

• with problems at work: if your work is associated with regular stress, your psyche may eventually fail;
• with financial problems: a “debt hole”, a large number of loans, fear of losing a job due to high expenses - all this ultimately leads to depression and apathy;
• problems in family or personal life, divorce, unrequited love;
• death of a loved one.

Some of these problems can be dealt with by returning interest in life, others, unfortunately, cannot be “corrected”, and all that remains is to come to terms with it. In any case, a person can and should be helped.

What to do if a completely successful and previously happy person has lost interest in life?

Alas, this also happens: a happy family life, a loved one, a favorite job, friends, hobbies, children no longer bring joy, and apathy arises. A person suddenly realizes that there is nothing more to strive for, and no more changes will happen in life.

How to identify the cause of apathy?

If you have lost interest in life, the first thing you need is to identify the reason. In some cases, this is not at all difficult - you have a problem, a disaster or trouble has happened in your life. In others, when outwardly everything is quite normal, only a specialist can help with finding the cause.

Surprisingly, it is precisely this kind of depression - depression that appears in a seemingly successful and happy person - that is considered the most dangerous. The fact is that a person in this case cannot understand for himself what the reason for his condition is. And therefore, he does not try to get out of depression.

If a person has lost interest in life, if the desire to do something has disappeared, if nothing makes him happy, he needs to consult a specialist. Or, after studying the relevant literature, try to get out on your own.

To recognize the reason, you need to honestly answer yourself what exactly doesn’t suit you in life. Perhaps you have lost interest in your work, want change, are used to struggling with problems and achieving success. Perhaps you are tired of the relationship or have fallen in love with someone else. Perhaps the reason for this is the state of your body. Vitamin deficiency, sleep disturbances, and some diseases can lead to apathy.

How to help yourself or a loved one get out of depression?

Lack of interest in life is a problem that can be solved.

The first thing to start with is to find out the exact reason. If it is obvious (divorce, death of a loved one, a problem at work or in your personal life), you can get out of apathy by changing the environment, visiting a psychologist, or solving the problem itself (if it is solvable). If the reason is unclear, you should:

1. Get a full examination at a medical center. If a disease has been identified, it is enough to treat it.
2. Evaluate your lifestyle and diet. Getting enough sleep and good nutrition can help you regain your zest for life.
3. Do something new. A visit to a cosmetologist or a beauty salon, shopping (including “men’s shopping”), apartment renovations or a change of residence, a change of job or a good rest, a new relationship or a new hobby - all this can help. Take up active tourism, extreme hobbies, realize your old and forgotten dream - and you will forget about apathy.
4. Visit a psychiatrist. It will help restore interest in life if apathy is associated with a psychiatric illness.

Lack of mood can be caused by hormonal imbalance, vitamin deficiency, or low levels of endorphins. Special medications will have a good effect, but they should only be taken with a doctor's prescription. A specialist will be able to help you regain your desire to live, but only if you yourself are ready to work.

Inspiration and the desire to do something are a resource just like energy, and they can be managed. If you stop wanting something from life, most likely your source of energy has dried up and needs reinforcement. Here are five ways you can do this.

I’ll say right away: I don’t know what to do for those who, in principle, never wanted anything. Probably agree with Artemy Lebedev’s proposal: “How to motivate yourself? No way. Stay in the ass." Or go to a psychotherapist to rule out signs of depression. The problem of someone who cannot make up their mind and falls into a stupor as a result was solved by Barbara Sher. Read her book “What to Dream About” if you feel potential in yourself, but don’t know where to put it. Or “I refuse to choose” - it is for those who are torn between several activities at the same time.

I am writing this article for everyone else: for people who set goals, achieve them, sometimes score and set others. And they worry if the time of life is not filled with something meaningful. And, probably, this article is for people who are busy with something pleasant to them. Otherwise, the answer to the question “Why don’t I want anything?” obvious (if it’s still not, then here it is: because you can’t want what you don’t want).

What you need to know about inspiration and energy

The problem is that even your favorite job or hobbies cannot inspire you all the time. Stagnation still occurs from time to time. For example, it hits me once every few months: at such moments I don’t feel like opening a book, let alone languages, dancing and enthusiasm at work. Over the last year I have been trying to explore this feature. I created a table, I note in it the ups and downs for each lesson, I look for patterns. I haven’t found the algorithm yet, but I have identified general principles and learned to use them. And I share it with you.

The first thing I realized is that you can equate inspiration and motivation and think of them as energy. This is unscientific and unfounded, but convenient because it actually illustrates the same thing - the internal resource through which we move forward. Sometimes I think in the same terms about willpower. I like the theory of American psychologist Roy Baumeister, which Kelly McGonigal described in the book Willpower. It sounds like this.

For self-control, the brain needs mental energy, and if you cannot gather yourself, then you need to restore your strength.

Why don't you want anything

So, let's say our desire to do something is related to the amount of energy. When there is a lot of energy, there is enough interest for at least one of the regular activities. (By the way, if you know how to expand your “flow” so that there is enough for several at once, or know someone who does, please let me know.) Daniel Brownie in the book suggests working out and doing breathing or meditation practices, but there are probably and other ways.

Energy is a fickle resource; we either give it or receive it. And if you don’t have enough energy to do what you love, even though you just had it, you’ve wasted your supply along the way.

Here's what could have caused this to happen.

Lack of system. I quickly get exhausted if I take on one thing or another, but when I work through the to-do list and check off the boxes, I feel a pleasant tone (in fact, it’s thanks to endorphins).

Communication with some people. Dangerous categories of citizens are manipulators, whiners and aggressors. But if you are an introvert, you may be “de-energized” by communication in general and even by commenting on other people’s posts on social networks.

Stress. Daniel Brownie advises how to prevent him from drinking away his internal resources. Several exercises from the book “The Source of Energy” and other books on the topic that will help you “recharge” are in the article.

Consuming meaningless information. Personally, after 10 minutes on Facebook I feel like I’m in a swamp. The advice to “only follow inspiring people” is not a panacea. You still can’t hide from posts about packing for vacation, dog vaccinations and new kindergartens. For the same reason, I follow almost no one on Instagram and am not interested in the lives of stars, although it would be useful for work.

An activity you don't like. There are two options here: either learn to have fun despite everything, or not invest emotionally.

General fatigue and lack of body care- poor nutrition and sleep, lack of physical activity.

If you observe how you feel, you will find several more activities that drain resources. My personal beacon is a feeling of irritation. When everything suddenly boils inside me, even though nothing bad seems to have happened, it means that I am busy with something devastating.

What to do about it?

Now to the question “Why don’t I want anything?” there is an answer: “Because there is not enough energy.” I don’t know how true it is, but this answer is good for two reasons: it shuts up the inner critic and tells you what to do next. So what? Firstly, to neutralize the destructive factor, and secondly, to restore the resource. Here are some ways to recharge.

Rest. The most obvious way. There are no universal tips here like “get enough sleep,” “go to an exhibition,” or “take a walk in the park,” because everyone has their own methods. Personally, lately this has restored me: on a day off, sit on the sofa, surround yourself with three different books, a laptop, a tablet, a German textbook, a notepad for writing down ideas and making lists.

Switch from one activity to another at the first sign of boredom. A few hours of such chaos - and that’s it, I’m ready for something structured.

Sport. In the process, endorphins are released, and as a result, you always see changes, even small ones. They provoke a surge of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes us strive for a goal and is strongly associated with the motivation mechanism. It is precisely his bursts that are felt as bursts of inspiration.

Get ready for pleasant changes. Dopamine is produced from everything new. That's why it's so nice to go shopping, dream, promise yourself to start a new life on Monday or plan. And this, as you understand, involves many different activities. For example, I “charge” in a fabric store or on Asos, in a bookstore near a shelf with language textbooks.

When I watch videos of Irish dancing champions, study beautiful apartments, fashionable looks or figures of ballerinas on Pinterest, listen to music to which I can perform a performance. In general, I give free rein to my imagination and draw pictures of a beautiful, but quite possible future.

Do something without a strict goal and deadline, if you are a woman. Or, if you are a man, find yourself in a situation of competition or overcoming. I heard this theory from leading women’s trainings: they advise their visitors to restore “yin” energy in some endless processes, for example, handicrafts, cleaning or hobbies, the thrill of which is not at all the result. Yes, I know, this all sounds like a sexist's sweet dream. But it helps me personally. Cleaning out a closet, sorting notes in Evernote, making a list of books I've read and books I want to read - all these are my “secret gardens” in which the resource of inspiration is replenished quite quickly.

Do what you love. This will allow you to recharge with energy, and it will be enough for something else. Remember the hobby schedule? I wrote it to help you overcome neurosis (Barbara Sher explains that it's the fear of not succeeding in all 5, 10, or 100 of your hobbies) and take control of your many hobbies. The method seemed new, and this triggered the production of dopamine. It was enough for me for three weeks: I read a lot, danced, didn’t miss training in the gym, instilled a healthy habit (at that time it was facial exercises)... In short, I was literally bursting with energy.

But then the dopamine charge ran out, and it began to be enough for one thing. For what exactly, you can’t say for sure. I'm still trying to figure out what makes me want to remember French this week and pick up a guitar next week. But now I know for sure: if you want one thing, you don’t have to force yourself to devote attention to another. The energy will “flow” on its own, just give it time.

Everything I’ve said has been helping me stay productive for six months now. Now I quickly understand where the energy flows and restore it using one of the proven methods. Periods of stagnation still occur, but they do not last longer than two weeks. At such times, I leave myself alone and let the sine wave creep up on its own.