What to do with a heart broken from love. New dates will be useful

When a loved one leaves your life, it’s as if he takes a piece of you - that cheerful girl who once fooled around with him and whom he looked at with such admiration. And you are left alone with your sadness. Here is a short course of recovery from such an injury. All points must be completed! And then the “cure” will not keep you waiting.

1. Stop all communication with your ex!

This can be difficult, but it is extremely necessary. Otherwise, how can you start life from scratch if you are constantly looking for support from him? Can you and him remain just friends after everything you've been through? Certainly! But for a relationship to become purely platonic, you need to pause. Cool down. Get rid of his slightest presence in your life. Rebuild. Remember what a naughty and hot little thing you were before you met him!

2. Allow yourself EVERYTHING for a week!

It’s not a bad idea to forget about prohibitions and restrictions for seven days. Do you want to cry? So don't hold back! Craving cake and ice cream? As much as you want! Do you miss heart-warming melodramas? Watch it all day long, sipping wine straight from the neck of the bottle! Your best friends will probably be sympathetic to such an idea, and perhaps even support it!

In general, you have a legitimate week to do whatever you want! And never mind the consequences, you’ll make up for it!

3. Write about the bad things!

When a heart wound has not yet healed, it is easy to begin to idealize your past together. Often, having taken a decisive step in the right direction, you take two steps back, begin to hope for the restoration of relations, or simply bombard yourself with baseless reproaches. Stop. It’s better to sit down and describe everything that was wrong in the relationship. Focus on the negative. On the shortcomings of your former life partner. Whenever you want to feel nostalgic, re-read what you wrote.

4. Trust the opinions of your friends!

A breakup is always a blow to self-esteem. No matter how confident and self-sufficient you are, somewhere in the depths of your soul, no, no, and a nasty thought will hatch: “There’s something wrong with me!” Before the accumulated internal uncertainty completely pecks you, turn to your friends for help! They will find compelling arguments to protect you from yourself and prove that now you are even more charming and attractive than before! Don't give in to self-flagellation! Trust your friends!

5. Exercise!

It's great when close friends help relieve mental pain. But don't be passive! Go to the gym, fitness club, go jogging or exercise at home! After a few good workouts, you will look more attractive. And you will no longer need anyone's consolation.

6. Renew and be reborn!

It is impossible to feel sexy without taking care of yourself! Take off your old clothes and wash your hair! Spa treatment, massage, new hairstyle, manicure, makeup, new clothes - and you will notice how light your walk has become, and you will feel the attention of men. It's much easier to be confident when you look good.

7. Dance!

You may not be ready for a new relationship yet, but you should definitely remember that the world is not a wedge on your ex and there are enough bright places on earth to truly have fun! Moreover, it would be a crime if all your preparations (see No. 6) were in vain!

A disco or dance floor is a place where you can have a blast and fool around, forgetting about everything in the world!

8. Avoid hanging out with his friends.

Remember rule #1? At first, it is advisable for you to arrange a moratorium on communication with his friends, because it can be just as painful and difficult as with him personally. This does not mean that this will always be the case, but this forced measure is necessary for your complete emotional liberation.

9. Keep yourself busy!

Idleness during a divorce exacerbates its consequences and lengthens the recovery process. Get to work! Schedule every second of your day! Perhaps, due to the lack of time that you previously gave to your partner, you did not do something and forgot about something. Now you are free! Create, invent, try!

10. Talk to men!

Flirting with a cute stranger is what you need right now. It’s clear that you’re not in the mood for romance right now: I wish I could recover. But some things need to be done “because I don’t want to,” because it’s like medicine. Just try to be honest with people: describe your situation, explain that you are not yet ready for a serious relationship and are just looking for a fun companion to have fun.

11. Write about good things!

Now write about yourself. For myself. Focus on your natural gifts, unearthly beauty, flexible character, your talents and achievements! And away with unnecessary modesty! Complete what you wrote! Re-read often!

12. Sales and get-togethers!

Good shopping can at least temporarily direct your thoughts in a pleasant direction, especially if you manage to grab a fashionable item for little money! But do you know what is the most famous, effective and most commonly used therapeutic method currently used to treat protracted “divorce” depression? Regular get-togethers with your closest friends at the nearest establishment!

Laughter, drinking, alcohol, music, dancing and intimate conversations are sometimes much more effective than the most expensive psychotherapist!

A broken heart is a difficult but necessary experience. We are growing with this. We learn to survive this way. It also means that life goes on.

There is probably not a single person in the world whose heart has not been broken. But you know, it makes us stronger. Of course, when your heart is broken, no one thinks that way. The pain of parting kills all feelings, causing only the desire to go back to the moment the breakup occurred. Bring back everything that was good between both of them.

But life goes on as usual, and over time, feelings of regret and hatred go away. It gets easier. And better. And you can even thank someone you couldn’t imagine life without before for the experience you’ve had. A broken heart is a difficult but necessary experience. We are growing with this. We learn to survive this way. It also means that life goes on.

Sometimes we become so focused on sadness and loneliness, which are essential to difficult times, that we forget to say thank you for who we have become: better, stronger, more confident.

5 reasons to be grateful

1. For the lesson that life goes on

When your heart is broken into a million pieces by someone you trusted, your world falls apart. Everything freezes, you are plunged into darkness and loneliness. Days, months, even years pass, and you realize that time does not stand still. You go to bed, wake up - a new day begins. With each new day, you begin to become more and more the person you were before you met the person to whom you gave your heart.

A broken heart teaches you that life doesn't have to stop just because you're hurt. Your friends are always there for you, your family is always there for you. And there are still so many different days ahead.

2. For becoming stronger

A broken heart is an emotional state, but we feel it physically. Do you agree? It feels like someone actually ripped our heart out of our chest and smashed it against the wall. You feel empty on the inside, but on the outside you are surrounded by reminders of how happy you were. This is a kind of manifestation of weakness that takes over you completely. It's like darkness has swallowed you up and you can't see a way out. Then something changes, and the way out appears on its own. And in this magical, wonderful moment you realize that you are a damn strong person. One person cannot destroy you. You are strong enough to take all this bitterness and deal with it.

3. For the lesson that you will still meet the love of your life

What hurts most when your heart is broken? The feeling that “the one and only” person has left. The realization that what is sung about in songs and what films are made about has slipped out of our hands. And the fear that this will never happen again. The last thing you expect is to meet anyone else. But it happens. And then you realize that while you considered that person “the one,” there was another person who was waiting for you somewhere along the path of life, and he is now the “one.”

4. For raising your bar higher

Love is patience. Love is kindness. Love is absolutely blind. So blind that you can close your eyes to betrayals, scandals, insults - after all, it’s all out of love. Love can be so blind that it plunges everything into darkness. But when you no longer love a person, you see the light. You see your relationship exactly as it really was. It is not necessary that you were cheated on or humiliated, but from the outside it becomes clearer what was missing in this relationship.

Now you know exactly what you deserve. You have learned this. And this time your “love vision” will not let you down.

5. For the time you spent together

A broken heart is the result of true love. This is difficult to accept, especially when the soul is still torn from pain and sadness. But when the emotions subside and the pain dulls, that love will become so distant for you that it will be difficult to believe in its reality. It's like an unpleasant dream that you sometimes remember for unknown reasons.

But all this happened. And there is a person who broke your heart. For this I thank him. published

Each of us happens to encounter misunderstanding, deception or even betrayal of loved ones. People react to things differently, but what do you do if you've had your heart broken and it seems like the world around you will never be the same? Read on to find the strength to resist what is happening.

In most cases, those who experience a breakup or betrayal, those who feel that their heart has been broken into small pieces, plunge into deep depression. A person sits at home for several days or several weeks. He tries to communicate with friends or acquaintances as little as possible, not to mention gathering the will to move on in life. In fact, all this is completely wrong and useless tactics. You should behave completely differently, although at first it will take a lot of effort to start doing exactly that.

It is also worth considering that each of us has our own reserve of strength and strength: someone, believing that his heart is broken, can lie on the bed, wrapped in a warm blanket for a week, while for others, even a few hours are enough to get back together and start learning to trust the world again.

There is nothing wrong with a broken-hearted person feeling sorry for himself. You may be left alone for a day or two, bursting into tears. Now is not the time to think logically, especially when all you can think about in your head is how crap your ex is. Ok, give yourself time to be sad, but don’t get carried away with this process. Your broken heart may be bursting with pain and tears, but don't let negative emotions take over you for long. Cry for two days, and then tell yourself – life goes on!

Listen to songs about love and breakups when you've had your heart broken.

Listen to sad songs about love and broken hearts

What to do if your heart is broken? Realize that you are not alone in experiencing a similar situation. 100,500+ songs, poems and paintings have already been written about this. At a time when old relationships are destroyed, broken, and love is dead, it’s time to listen and watch such works. It's a good accompaniment for the time you spend crying on your couch.

Reevaluate Your Initial Choice When Your Heart Is Broken

Think about it, maybe your broken heart is the result of a not very good choice? Maybe the wrong person was next to you? Finally, maybe somehow you can improve everything if you talk to your partner calmly, like adults, without tears and screams?

In the heat of a quarrel and with the height of emotions, no one cares what the other says, and even more so no one delves into what is said. One and the other side just want to prick each other as painfully as possible and win the fight.
If there are no options for reconciliation, then continue to analyze: maybe your boyfriend was constantly deceiving you and cheating on you? Maybe his appearance is not as impeccable as you thought at the very beginning? Then it’s time to face the harsh reality, and not hide behind the image of your ex-partner that you created. When you've had your heart broken, it's time to stay away from the person who did it!


Think about how well you made the right choice.

Go to the hairdresser for a new look

Every time a relationship ends, the best way for a girl is to leave her old image with the old relationship. Changing your hairstyle is much easier than getting or removing a tattoo (by the way, a new hairstyle doesn’t look crazy at all, unlike a tattoo with the name of your next partner).

A new hairstyle and new makeup will help you refresh your appearance and take a fresh look at the world around you.

Your broken heart may still hurt, your eyes may still be puffy from crying all night, but working on a new look can sometimes do wonders for changing your outlook on your own life. By the way, you can try to do a hairstyle or makeup that your ex would definitely not like (if you know what exactly to do). It's time to listen to your desires, and not live up to someone else's expectations!

Do what you love to pick up the pieces of a broken heart

A common mistake many women make is to become so deeply immersed in a relationship that we become slaves to men, forgetting what we really love and value ourselves.

You will definitely have a new relationship, just don’t make this mistake again: don’t try to live only in the interests of your partner, forgetting about your own. The period when you think that your heart is broken is the best time to review your own behavioral scenarios in relationships and understand what really makes you happy.

If you get your heart broken, just leave the house!

It's not about going out with someone. You may not be ready for this kind of commitment just yet, even if it's just a one-time date. Your heart is too wounded, there are too many negative emotions inside you. Too much for now. Instead, you can go hang out with your friends, have fun at the club, allow yourself a couple of drinks or dance until you drop. Finally, you can even go to a cafe in splendid isolation or meet with friends whom you haven’t seen for a long time because you were “building relationships.” It's important to just get out of the house and allow yourself to have fun again.

New dates will be useful

If, now that you're reanimating your broken heart, you think that constantly dating one person will be too much for you, you can spice up your life by going on dates with different people.

The end of a relationship is not only a broken heart, it is new opportunities that can be used by moving in the company of eligible bachelors to find “your person” there. If you feel empowered, feel free to accept invitations to dates, but respond only to those that you really like. Try to learn to live with pleasure again!

Find out who you really like

Yes, we know, you dated a guy for some time, and you even thought that everything was fine with you, and that it would be even better. It ended in depression and heartbreak. Right now you are still shocked and heartbroken. At the same time, you are still drawn to your ex.

Perhaps this particular guy was not what you were looking for, but this is the type of man you are attracted to. All you need to do is find someone of the same type, make sure that you have common interests or similar hobbies. It is only important that the new partner is similar to your ex only in some external signs. In fact, it must be a completely different person. Or look for a completely different man, from his appearance to his attitude towards life and towards you.

If suddenly it doesn’t work out, go back to the previous point and accept the invitation to a new date!

Irina Mozharkova, practicing psychologist

Other useful articles:

How to win a Taurus man and win his heart

After breaking up with your soulmate, a person is left with only a broken heart. What to do in this situation and how to find a way out of it? Psychologists answer these and other questions. They also give advice on how to stop blaming yourself for everything.

When a person's heart is broken, he feels humiliated and insulted. Many people cannot cope with their feelings and fall into severe depression.

Psychologists consider it very important to get out of this situation with dignity and learn to learn from the mistakes you have made. The first thing you need to do is try to calm down and stop being sad, blaming yourself for everything, or hating your ex-other half. As a rule, this does not lead to anything good.

In order to quickly return to normal life, a person needs someone to be constantly nearby. You shouldn't sit alone and suffer. You can move in with relatives for a while or just see friends more often. Loneliness and boredom provoke the onset of depression. In this case, you can simply go somewhere to relax, change the environment, and take a break from everyday affairs. You can take a vacation from work and visit an inexpensive resort on a last-minute package. Experts assure that a change of environment is the best medicine. It’s better to go on vacation not by yourself, but with a loved one. This could be one of your relatives, or a friend or girlfriend.

Don't try to pretend that nothing bad happened. Sometimes it can be very useful to talk things out. Immediately after a breakup, you shouldn’t look for someone to blame at all. Later, when feelings have cooled down a little, you need to try to adequately assess your behavior and the behavior of your former significant other. Perhaps both sides are to blame in this situation. Experts say that, most often, this is exactly what happens. People break up because they are completely unsuitable for each other.

Sometimes a person may not even suspect that he himself provoked his lover to betrayal. The reason for this may be an incorrect attitude towards a partner, mistakes made during communication.

After parting, it is important to analyze this and understand what both participants in the union were wrong about. This will allow a person to look more optimistically into the future. After all, now he can be sure that if he does not repeat his mistake, nothing like this will happen to him again.

The first time after the collapse of a relationship, you must definitely find something you like. It may be a hobby that a person has been doing for a long time, but it is better to discover something new. By doing something interesting, a person will have the opportunity to forget about his problems for a while. In addition, new interests will attract new acquaintances into his life. You should not immediately try to build a relationship with someone if you feel that old feelings have not yet cooled down. This will only bring pain and disappointment. At first, it’s better to just communicate with people of the opposite sex. Everything must develop gradually.

Don't blame your ex for everything. It is better to try to understand the person and forgive him, thus letting go of the unpleasant situation. This will help you enter a new life without anger towards the whole world. To make it easier to cope with a breakup, you can seek advice from a psychologist. In most cases this helps a lot. Don't think that life ends here. You should take what happened as a good life lesson, and think that true love awaits ahead, which will not end so sadly.

When asked how to live with a broken heart, psychologists clearly answer that a person needs to abstract himself from his problem and start life anew. At the same time, you should definitely take into account all the mistakes made in the past so as not to repeat them again.

When a person's heart is broken, he does not need to blame himself or, conversely, his ex-other half for everything. This will only lead to low self-esteem or anger towards all members of the opposite sex. You just need to enter a new life, but at the same time take into account all the mistakes made in the past.

I recently heard the phrase that in our times, hearts and hopes are broken more often than cars. Therefore, it is not at all surprising that many of us would rather see a broken car than a broken heart...

Medical history. Symptoms

After all, a broken heart is emptiness, it haunts. It seems to envelop you and there seems to be no way out. Dead end. Why is this happening? Maybe she loved the wrong one? And why not that...? He is the nicest, kindest, sweetest. The very best. And is it her fault that he still loves his “ex”? What I said, I'm sorry, let's remain friends. Guilty? No, it’s not her fault... Was it that she once told him that she loved him, puzzling him... But she told the truth... She also had crushes, and not alone... And there was also a lot of pain from the fact that she I thought that I loved her, but they didn’t love her... She is also special, different, the best. But they don’t love her, and perhaps they didn’t love her... It hurts. Now she will not forget him, perhaps never... But she must let him go... Many live with such pain, and they live... And she will live as before, only without him, without his eyes, hands and smile... They live as others without him... He was the meaning of her life, the sun, infinitely warm and joyful. And now it’s raining... Dank gray rain on the street and in her soul. She no longer has the strength to live on without him... He took away a piece of her, perhaps the most important. She was left alone with her sadness... Her heart was broken!

How to mend a broken heart? Treatment.

1. After a difficult breakup, many people withdraw into themselves. They want to be alone to be sad, think, cry. I need to cry. With tears, all the accumulated negative emotions inside you come out. But withdrawing into yourself is not a good idea. There are always people nearby who care about you: friends, relatives, relatives, colleagues. So they will be the first to carry out resuscitation measures on your heart.

2. Allow yourself to do whatever pleases your soul, despite the consequences, at least for a few days. Have a bachelorette party, a “belly celebration”, relax in your favorite place or where you have long dreamed of going, take care of yourself (hairdresser, spa, swimming pool), buy yourself a new dress or insanely expensive underwear. Or maybe a parachute jump or a wind tunnel flight? Do everything that you would never have dared to do in your “former” life. A man’s attention, of course, is always important for us, but you will understand that even without it you can be infinitely good. You need to live for yourself and for your loved one, get maximum pleasure and joy from life.

3. Here is a well-known technique on how to heal a broken heart.

Mentally imagine a channel connecting you with the “ex”. Closing your eyes, imagine two tubes through which energy circulates between you. Again, mentally, take the scissors and cut the tubes in half. Mentally pinch the ends that come to you. The wounds on the heart will begin to heal, albeit not immediately, but it will become much easier.

4. Try to load yourself up as much as possible. For example, work. Occupational therapy has always been an effective tool in matters of the heart. There should be no free time left for worries and thoughts.

5. Get the idea of ​​getting revenge on your ex out of your head. There is no need to prove to him that you were his best, and how much he has lost. We must try to forgive him.

Remember for the last time about your wonderful moments together, say thank you mentally (only mentally!), because thanks to him you were very happy for some time.

And you can already switch to other men!

6. Psychologists say that one of the effective ways is to complain to yourself about your misfortune. Aloud. In front of the mirror. It is believed that this is a good way to relieve stress. I, as not a psychologist at all, advise you to end this therapy in front of the mirror with a couple of funny faces. You need positive emotions now more than ever.

7. Do you know this wise phrase: “Everything that doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”? Scientists believe that the brain needs 21 days to adjust to something new, be it a new job, school, or a new life without it and with a broken heart. After three weeks, even if you do nothing, it should theoretically become easier. The wounds on the heart will begin to heal on their own.

8. If nothing helps at all, then you can turn to a psychologist - a specialist in matters of the heart, who always has glue for broken hearts in stock. It is not at all necessary to make an appointment in person; you can talk with a psychologist via the Internet. According to statistics from the Moscow Psychological Assistance Service, people extremely rarely seek help due to relationship breakdowns (300 out of 20,000 cases).

9. The most important “No”, contraindication: do not treat a broken heart with alcohol. Firstly, this is a therapy of little benefit for health and well-being. Secondly, once things get out of control, things can lead to nightly tearful calls to “ex”. All previous attempts to heal a broken heart were down the drain. Some kind of vicious circle!

Meetings and partings, gains and losses are an inevitable part of our charming life. And no matter how difficult it may be at first, it is possible to restore mental strength and heal a broken heart. But even well-healed wounds leave scars for the rest of your life, unfortunately...

PARABLE OF THE BROKEN HEART

Hello, I'm following an ad. Are you putting your heart in good hands?

Yes. It loved one person for three years.

Well! Three years of operation is quite a long time! Why are you giving it away?

Its previous owner treated the heart inappropriately. He broke it, cut it, played with it, stuck sharp objects into it... The heart hurt, bled, but still performed its main function: loved it... And one day the one to whom it belonged broke it...

How did you break it?! Have you been under renovation? What did they tell you?

Can't be restored...

Why did you advertise? Do you really think that someone needs your broken heart?

I believe that there is a person in the world who can glue it back together from the fragments. I believe that he will not spare love and time for this. I believe that he can give it a second life...

- I... I'm ready to try. It will, of course, be difficult, but the result will be worth it. Can you give me any guarantees? If I can restore it, I can revive your heart... how much more can it love?

While it's beating...

In the advertisement you indicated that you would give your heart only on one condition...

Yes. I need to make sure you don't hurt him.

Unfortunately, I can't see the future. I cannot promise you with certainty that it will no longer suffer... All I can do today is give you my heart in return...

I agree!

I am also satisfied with all the terms of the contract.

So we'll see you tomorrow?! For exchange?

Yes. Goodbye my love.



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