To solve the problem you need. The easiest way to solve any life problems

You know, back in my youth, I somehow - forcedly and, in general, by accident - invented a certain format (there’s no other way to say it...) for solving numerous problems that my life threw at me with enviable regularity. Having received another challenge/problem that fits the “Mission Impossible” category ( including, by the way, simply the refusal of an official or decision-maker, accompanied by cold words that my request simply cannot be satisfied or fulfilled...), I never despaired, and certainly did not ask questions “ Why?" and/or " What's stopping you?”, and immediately moved on to a very creative question “ How to do this impossible?. And as a result, in about 80% of cases I solved the problem, easily slipping where others got stuck...

Why did I remember this? Yes, because this was precisely what became the basis for the approach to solving human problems that I created in integral neuroprogramming. And to the somewhat half-hearted formula of F. Funch, according to which problems disappear as soon as you make decisions, I added my own formulation: problems disappear when you set a goal to eliminate them and form an intention to achieve it.

Actually, this very intention in my interpretation is a rather complex construction, including, in addition goals, motive, meaning and readiness (to) achieve. However, more on this later, but for now I dare (and how!) to assert that the first step to solving any problem is quite simple (and also understandable) and is completely related to asking yourself the question “how?” Are you low on money? How to make sure there are more of them? They don't like you? How to make them fall in love? Are you in terrible physical shape? How can you make it improve for you? Are you just feeling bad? How to make you feel good? And, as they say, so on and so forth...

However, further - that is, after translating your problems into goals - you must, firstly, understand which “class” each of your problems belongs to: solvable or requiring acceptance. The fact is that any problem can be solved only in two ways, briefly reduced to the formula: “either accept it or solve it” (that is, you can either accept the problem as inevitable, but in some other way, not so doomed, as before; or solve it in some very specific ways. Moreover, this corresponds to two types of insight (insight): emotional and intellectual, as well as a rather tricky truth, according to which not accepted problems are usually not solved, and not solved ones are not accepted; ... Here, like a flag in your hands, you can take my article “” with a description of the corresponding psychotechnology of total acceptance (“S.V. Kovalev’s six”)

Well, secondly, you need to clearly understand (and, of course, define...) what exactly you are going to (and can) solve in the problem, especially if you define it as unsolvable. The fact is that, in addition to those that can be solved and/or require adoption, from the point of view of modern methodology, all problems can be divided into external ones - those that are not particularly dependent on you; and internal ones - so to speak, available to you (and almost always!). So, they can also be divided into objective (real) and subjective (psychological), which as a result allows us to obtain four other classes of problems:

• external objective
• external subjective
• internal objective and
• internal subjective.

Why do you need this? Yes, then, to understand that of any unsolvable problems, only the internal – objective and subjective – aspects of your problem are available for solution for you personally. For example, in the problem of not having enough money, first of all, of course, “involved” external and objective problem“complicated” state (or simply low level of development...) of our economy. However, it is determined not so much by all sorts of sanctions, technological backwardness and other obscenities, as external and subjective problem– the mistakes (to put it mildly...) of our dear government (still using the long-criticized liberal economic model...), as well as simply: the stupidity and greed of individual domestic oligarchs and other powers that be. Your own low level of material well-being is associated with internal objective problem a low-paying job that you somehow either cannot or do not want to change. The problem of your material security is solved (if you cannot in any way influence its external - objective and external subjective hypostases...) due to only internal factors: internal objective changing jobs to something more profitable and/or internal subjective improving your own qualifications, as well as simply: self-confidence...

So, an analysis of where and in what area your problem can be solved, followed by an answer to the question “How exactly?”, takes you out of the dead end of the problem into the expanse of its reality (and not illusory according to Fanch: once you’ve decided, then nothing can be done) don't do...) permissions. However, the adoption of an appropriate decision in itself may lead to new problems associated with its implementation. Most often, they (these very problems) are based not on their seeming intractability (excuse me, but INP® in my person rightly asserts that all problems are divided into only two classes: imaginary and solvable...), but, first of all, from:

• grandeur the set goal (provided it is insufficiently structured) and
• the longevity of its achievement .

The first of these problems requires a “return to the roots” and is solved indecently simply: by preliminary structuring the problem that served as the basis for setting a grandiose goal by answering the question: “ What does this problem consist of and what does it include?? Usually, to do this, I suggest that the client draw a kind of “daisy”, where the core corresponds to the essence of the problem, and the petals correspond to its components. This is especially shown for seemingly unsolvable problems, because among the petals of the Main Problem there will always be one or two that are quite suitable for solution. Yes, sometimes they need to be “plucked”, as it were, and made the basis for a separate “daisy” of structural analysis. But the main thing here is that you will always find at least some solution that alleviates (or even eliminates) the problem. For example, the problem of the famous Moscow traffic jams, which is completely unsolvable on the external - both objective and subjective - level, in the case of using this psychotechnology, is simply solved on the subjective - again, both external and internal - levels: by listening to pre-selected interesting audiobooks or current training courses and, excuse me, taking with you a certain container for fulfilling very specific needs...

The second problem, related, I remind you, to the long-term achievement of certain important goals (which, in accordance with the theory of passivity, allows this goal to somehow not even be achieved...) is solved even more simply. By creating a sequence of steps, each of which becomes an independent goal: close and completely achievable. Here we can recommend you two possible ways of working. The first - for trivial or fairly understandable purposes - from the NS (the present state of the problem) to the GS (the desired state of achieving the goal): of course, both the problem (NS) and the goal (GS) must be clearly presented and defined. That is, you describe first the first, then the second, then the third, and so on, the steps of achievement, and not at all necessarily - until the very end, that is, JS. Because the steps you take will definitely change the current situation, and it will be much easier for you to decide what to do next. But in the second way of working - for unclear and poorly algorithmized sequences of steps - you do everything exactly the opposite. That is, from the GS (achieved goal) you unwind the “tangle” of your intermediate goals, as if, excuse me, “backwards”. According to the principle: “What immediately preceded the achievement of the desired state? And what preceded this antecedent?” And so on and so forth, up to determining the first step from the NS to achieving the desired...

Many people often face the fact that they cannot solve one or another problem in their life. This can be either a simple, everyday task or a really very important issue. Of course, we won’t be able to give answers on how to solve your specific problem, but we will reveal some secrets on how to independently find the answer to all your questions and solve the problem. To do this, we will give you 12 important rules for your edification.

Well, let's not waste time and get started right away.

1. Set your priorities . That is, decide what is more important to you in a given life situation. Solve all problems one by one. Trying to do everything at once often ends in failure.
2. Identify the problem itself . Be sure to think about what will be an indicator for you to solve this problem. If it is positive, then the problem can be solved, but if there is no result at all, then you are not faced with a problem at all, but only a trifle that can easily be overcome.
3. Make a plan to solve the problem . Moreover, it should be detailed, describing possible consequences and different solutions. In simple words, foresee, if not all, then most of what can await you on the way to solving the problem.
4. Estimate the time to complete each item of the plan . This is very important, because sometimes it is necessary to solve a problem as quickly as possible, and we simply forget about it.
5. Keep a problem solving diary . There, write down in detail your plan for solving the problem, time to solve it, possible consequences, etc. This will help you see your problem and its solution clearly.
6. Think about the cost of delay . What are the consequences of your delays? What are the consequences of not solving the problem at all? Such thoughts will give you a good incentive to act, and as quickly as possible.
7. Conduct a time analysis of your life . Where can you find time, what tasks can be combined, how much time do you need to solve? This is very important to take into account so that one problem does not affect other areas of life.
8. Act decisively . If you decide to change something in your life, then you need to do it. Otherwise, the effect of the unfinished action will torment you for a long time.
9. Don't be afraid of anything . Only those who do nothing, who wait for the problem to solve itself or lead to even greater failure, are afraid. And if you are solving a problem, then believe me, there is nothing to be afraid of. A negative result is also a result.
10. Always think about how to solve the problem effectively now . You shouldn’t dream and think that the answer will be found by itself – you need to be realistic. And act, here and now.
11. If you solved the problem, then look at the consequences . They will help you find out whether you have found the right solution. And even if your decision is not correct, do not be upset. Now you know exactly what not to do, and this will help you avoid mistakes in the future. Be that as it may, life goes on! This is also very important to remember.
12. Praise yourself . If the decision is correct, then do not forget to praise yourself that you did everything as it should. This will help both your self-esteem and problem solving in the future.

These tips will help you solve the problem. Everything depends only on you, don’t forget this.

Problems in sobriety were, are and remain, and they are not going away. Don't think that if you stop drinking, your life will automatically blossom. No. In this article we will talk about how to solve sobriety problems. You will become familiar with the universal tank method, which will allow you to smash any problem to smithereens.

You will feel much better, which will create a platform for further changes. But the old problems will not go away. And you need to roll up your sleeves, pick up a shovel and clear out the accumulated problems in your life. Because now you won’t be able to turn away from them, hide in alcohol, cigarettes and other addictions.

You must face problems head on, plan to solve them, and take action every day.

Once you've gotten stronger and your sobriety is stable, you need to figure out how to get yourself out of the mess you're in. Wrapping it in a wrapper and saying it’s candy won’t work anymore.

You drank for many years, and during this time new problems and tasks appeared that required solutions, and you more often than not simply ignored them. And old problems have intensified and become global. In short, there is something to rake.

How to solve problems in sobriety

A sober approach to problem solving includes the following points:

1. Realize what specifically doesn’t suit you in life. Write it down and be aware of it " Yes, damn it, I don't like it and never have. But I'm going to do something about it!" Identify the problem.
2. Answer the question what you can do to solve this problem.

And it doesn't matter how long it takes to solve it. Maybe a week will be enough, or maybe a whole year will not be enough.

1. Then make a specific and real plan, how to solve this problem. Write everything down point by point.
2. Then take action day by day. Your actions must be consistent. They may be very small, but constant.

You could have successfully taken the first three steps when you were in. You could even then understand what you don’t like in your life. Perhaps it was this understanding that aggravated your alcohol addiction. But what you couldn't do was act systematically. You could do something there for a day or two, and then you forgot (or forgot) about your goal, changed the goal, abandoned plans, stopped considering it necessary, and so on. What difference does it make which one you found? an excuse to kill your next target?

Now is your chance. Systematic ordinary actions are the key to achieving the goal. This is the tank method.

Over the years, I have read about a hundred books on the topic of goals, plans and motivation. But for myself, I have made only two rules that work flawlessly.

1. If you do nothing, nothing will happen
2. To achieve a goal, you don't have to give up on it.

What is the difference between a sober person and an addict in how to solve problems?

The attitude of a sober person is that he understands that even a small goal in life requires some effort: over a long time. And only then is the result possible.

Chaotic movement, when you rush from solving one problem to another, will not lead to the desired result.

A person who is dependent wants to receive everything at once. In his opinion, something miraculous is going to happen and his life will magically change. It seems to him that he deserves more and that life itself owes him. It's called magical thinking.

A sober person rejects this type of thinking.

The position of a sober person is to act systematically and constantly in the direction of his goals (tank method).

And even if these are ordinary steps, they are real. Through consistency and due to the fact that a sober person takes action every day, it is possible to solve all problems. And then a result is possible that can exceed all expectations.

Give up the idea of ​​solving all problems in one fell swoop . Give yourself time.

Same with sobriety. You don’t intend to wake up tomorrow as if you’ve never had a drink. You understand that in order to regain a comfortable state, a certain time must pass - 6-18 months. And even then the work will continue. This is it - sober position, correct and adult, which should extend to other areas of your life.

The main virtue on your path will be tolerance. Tolerance in everything plus the ability to solve problems gradually and consistently is a fail-safe method for improving life.

Slowly and surely, you must sweep your side of the street.

You must clear out the rubble that is your life - pebble by pebble. And even if the growth is unnoticeable, know it is there. It continues constantly, unless, of course, you are marking time.

Flexible planning in problem solving

Action planning should be flexible. If you have made a plan, but in reality new circumstances appear, you may feel that life ruins your plan. No. Your plan is imperfect! This plan did not take into account the real circumstances that emerged in the process. And that's okay. Your plan must be flexible - this is the secret of any achievement.

Planning flexibility involves adjusting the plan as problems are solved to suit changing life circumstances.

Understand that you cannot plan for everything at once. And sometimes the changes will be so dramatic that your entire plan may be thrown out of whack. Then you need to adjust the plan according to the new experience and knowledge gained.

If you are sure that your goal is chosen correctly, you don’t have to give it up at the slightest difficulty.

Don't be upset if you can't solve all the problems right away, give yourself a break, give yourself a temporary rest, and then try again.

Instead of a conclusion

Life in sobriety is not a fairy tale. But it is a sober life that allows you to really learn how to solve problems so that the final goal is achieved. The process of solving problems itself can be enjoyable when your energy is not stolen by all kinds of addictions, and you act in reality.

You work calmly every day, gradually creating a life that a person in addiction can only dream of, but for you it will become a reality.

And finally, a video in which I will tell you how to solve problems and achieve goals in sobriety.

A lot has been written about the classification of problems, about the methodology for solving them, various algorithms for “solving problems” have been painted and painted, but nothing really changes. If there are problems, then there are methods to solve them

A lot has been written about the classification of problems, about the methodology for solving them, various algorithms for “solving problems” have been painted and painted, but nothing really changes. If there are problems, then there are methods to solve them, well, it cannot be that humanity has not faced problems since its inception. There were many of them and they were somehow resolved. Now we have no problems with the fact that the saber-toothed tiger, who wants to eat us, prevents us from leaving the cave for food. Problems are being solved.

The first thing you need to know (and many people already know this, but I’ll just remind you) is that if a person himself does not want to solve his problem or problems, then they will not be solved. You can only help a person solve it. And this statement has been tried - tried, tested and re-tested, but the fact remains: if a person (or a group of people) does not want to solve a problem, then it will not be solved and no one will help solve it. There is, of course, an even more difficult case when a person or a group of people do not realize at all that they have real problems and, accordingly, they will sit in them, and they (the problems) will ruin their life. Therefore, in order to solve a problem or problems, it is necessary to first recognize and detect them.

And here is a method, whether you want to call it an exercise or something else, but it works:

• The first thing to do is take a piece of paper and a pen and write down a list of problems that you have or in your field of activity, regardless of whether you think it is one that can be solved or one that cannot be solved, just write it down .
• Second: from the entire list, choose the problem whose presence you are most easily aware of, that is, the problem that seems to you or is perceived by you as the smallest. People often make the mistake of trying to do something about their biggest problem.
• Third: you have chosen such a problem (you want to mark it somehow in the entire list or write down its wording below the entire list), and now write down (of course, you will need to think about it) what you can do to solve this problem . That is, it is realistic what you can do to solve this problem.
• And fourth: do it!!! That is, solve it, this little problem.

Let's go over it quickly:

1. You make a list of problems (for example, you have 5):
   - I have a problem with my teeth, I need to go to the dentist, but I’m afraid;
   - Apartment without renovation for 15 years;
   - no one would take out the trash can, the kitchen stank;
   - there is no additional source of income, but I want even more money;
   - My son doesn’t want to study and we can’t do anything about it.
2. You see that the trash can is the least of your worries (and you don’t need to include here “my son is a blockhead, not only does he not want to study, but he also doesn’t take out the trash, he doesn’t understand that the trash needs to be taken out” - it stinks to you now, and not him - you have a problem). So you write down this problem as the smallest one or mark it on your list.
3. Write down what you can do with it. You, not a blockhead. And you write “Take it out into the yard into a garbage container” (or a home garbage chute, or somewhere else where normal people throw garbage, and not to a neighbor under the apartment, since this will be another problem).
4. Easily or grittingly, gritting your teeth, you take out this bucket of garbage and bring it home without garbage and perhaps wash it (if something stinks in there). And it’s one less problem, and then you don’t persecute your son for it - it doesn’t exist.

And here’s the math here: let’s take and designate one problem as a unit, a unit of your nerves, attention, time, energy, mental activity, worries, energy and other things. In our example there are 5 problems, that is, 5 units. Due to the fact that you have them, they do not add up to one another, but rather multiply, since they are all yours. And we get 5 (units) of problems multiplied by 5 problems (units) and we get 25 units of negative emotions, nerves, and so on, and the feeling that you have not 5 separate problems, but 25! And all this puts pressure on you and rather you have the feeling that everything is a problem and there is no way out of it.

And so you wanted to cope with the biggest one - where do you get the strength if you essentially have 25 problems that are pressing on you with all their might?

And then you took out the trash can and now you have 4 problems, and 4 times 4 is 16, that is, 9 units of negativity or stress less. These are the 9 units that are now yours, and which you can now use to solve the next problem on the list and for some other, more constructive or useful and pleasant things.

Then look at the list further. And you find that the next problem that is easiest for you to look at is that you need to get your teeth in order and you write down what can be done about it and then go to the dentist (perhaps having quickly found out before that where the most humane in dentist in the world) and get your teeth in order. Now you have 3 problems, and 3 times 3 equals 9 units, which is 7 units less. And so on down the list: find the easiest one from the list, write what you can do with it and now you have 2 problems or a total of 4 units (and the rest of the original 25 are released and give you more opportunities to do something and more courage to solve other problems, the like arises). And then you are left with one problem, which most likely will no longer be a problem, but will be a task that needs to be completed.

There is one caveat here: as the number of problems decreases, you may be tempted to abandon all the others. Don't do this, the right thing to do is solve them. Naturally, when you release the units “locked” in problems, a new outlook on life will appear and you will re-plan something in your life and something will simply cease to be your problem (for example, a hurricane in the USA will stop bothering you or you will find out that your son knows what he wants and is interested in specialized training, and now the goal will appear - to find those people or institutions that will help your son develop his abilities and talents in the field of activity for which he has a craving).

Take these 4 steps, they help a lot and it’s natural that it may take a few minutes to take out the trash can, but creating and promoting your business (or another one) will most likely take more time.

If problems start to arise, just do these 4 steps.

As for solving problems that concern not you personally, but, for example, the team (staff, country, and so on), then on the contrary, everyone needs to eliminate the biggest blockages together, but this is a separate topic.

You will succeed!

Tip 1: Don’t ask “Can I…”, ask “How?” So what?"
Many people, when faced with difficulties, ask themselves:

can I do this?
is it even possible to do this?
won't it get worse if I try to change something?
These thoughts are understandable. The greater the task and the more threatening the problem, the stronger the doubt. We are not confident in ourselves whether we have enough strength and ability to solve this problem.
In principle, thinking about the limits of your own capabilities is not a bad thing. Only when it comes to the moment when it is necessary to begin to act, the activity of such people for some reason slows down or they simply give up until the problem becomes complex, which in fact it was not.

Try to approach the problem from a different angle. Not the kind that makes you feel like you're up against an insurmountable wall, but the kind that opens the door to different possibilities for solving a particular problem. Better ask yourself:

what should I do better?
what should I do to solve the problem?
What exactly do I need to solve the problem?
who or what can help me?
what could be the first step in solving the problem?
Although questions of this nature do not solve the problem itself, you are still moving in the right direction. And if you think more about possible solutions than about the limits of your capabilities, this will give you strength and awaken the feeling that you yourself can build and organize your own life.
If you constantly replace the thought “Can I…” with “How?” and “What?”, you will have a good starting point for proactive problem solving.

Tip 2: Learn to find the positive aspects of your problems.
If we have some problem, then we would probably like best to postpone it for another day or completely forget about it. We view problems as annoying and just want to get rid of them like garbage. At the same time, we forget one thing: every problem constantly gives us opportunities to grow as a person and learn from it.

Accordingly, a useful step in solving problems is to regard them as learning tasks and strive to learn to love and solve these problems. This is probably even less theoretical than it sounds - since virtually every person does this in certain areas of activity.

Anyone, for example, who begins to study any sport or musical instrument immediately faces great difficulties. People who look at a goal that has not yet been achieved come into conflict with themselves and their abilities. They are unhappy that they are not so good, they spend a lot of energy on self-criticism. At the same time, their passion quickly wears off and they give up.

It’s different for those who love what they do and are trying to expand this love. Despite some failures and mistakes, they still enjoy their studies and thus find strength for further struggle.

For further solutions to problems that seem very difficult to you, the following questions may help you:

What is positive about this problem (for me or others)?
What will I learn from this problem (task)?
What experience will I gain that I would not have had without solving this problem?
How will my horizons and abilities expand when solving this problem?

Tip 3: If you understand the essence of the problem, you will already solve half of it
Many people, without understanding the problem, often choose the wrong ways to solve it. As a result, these paths lead to a dead end, since they were completely inappropriate to the problem at hand.
Let's say you have a conflict with a work colleague. You ask yourself what the problem is and come to the conclusion that your colleague is jealous of you because you get more money for the same work. And no matter what measures you took, they would not lead to a solution to the conflict, since hatred in this case is not a problem, but a consequence.

Indeed, in reality it is not easy to understand the essence of the problem. We readily forget that problems almost always have several causes and factors. Of course, it would be much simpler if we were dealing with unambiguous cause and effect. Typically, a problem is a system that includes various factors and actions.

So try to remember that most things are much more difficult than you think they are. This is a useful thought that protects against hasty and rash decisions.

So, try to resist thinking that you already know exactly what the problem is. Once again, start from the beginning, feel the problem, look at it from different points of view, analyzing it this way:

This is how I would describe the problem:
What else can we talk about besides this:
and if you think about it, you can come to the conclusion...
who and what is involved in the problem...
what else could have an impact...
what has already been done to solve the problem, and what it led to...

Tip 4: Be open to different opportunities
This tip has a lot to do with tip #3. If you accept that problems are more complex than they seem at first glance, it becomes easier to understand that, as a rule, there is more than one solution that leads to a solution to a problem - and it is definitely not the first one that comes to mind.
The desire to quickly find a suitable solution to the problem is understandable. But it just as quickly leads to fixation on one possible solution. In some cases, this can lead to nowhere and make the problem worse. It often happened that people were so focused on the chosen solution path that they did not even notice that the problem had already been solved at an intermediate stage.

you think about the problem much more intensely;
you don't go too far in one direction, but stay mentally flexible;
In fact, you have various options available to you, and you will not doubt if the chosen path will lead to success.
So, don't close yourself to other solutions. Use creative methods to come up with different ideas. Write down all your ideas, and even those that seem crazy to you - who knows, maybe the solution to the problem lies in them.

Tip 5: Courage to think creatively
This advice has already been partially used in tip #4, but it is so important that it should be specifically addressed in a separate question.
So, “thinking creatively” means coming up with out-of-the-box ideas, ideas that are often not understood or accepted by others, and having the courage to have crazy ideas and pursue seemingly false paths.

You cannot learn this in one day, but there are still a number of auxiliary tools through which you can begin to develop this quality in yourself, for example:

Ask people who have no idea about your problem at all for their ideas. Often even naive and simple-minded people come to brilliant ideas that we ourselves could not come to due to some existing ideas.
Just turn your problem around. And ask instead of “What can I do to make the relationship better?” - “What can I do to make the relationship worse?” This allows you to see problems in a new light. Although it sounds crazy, this is how people often come up with ideas that they couldn't find in the first question.
Give free rein to your fantasies and associations. Frame the problem differently. Open a dictionary or lexicon on any page and randomly select a term. It doesn't matter whether the term is relevant to your problem. Write down all the associations between this term and your problem.
Please note: it takes practice to come to a completely new thought. Don't expect too much from yourself right away, but just be open and curious about exploring this type of thinking. And everything will work out!