Destructive behavior is a deviation from generally accepted norms of behavior and morality and is destructive in nature. Destructions affect all areas of a person’s life: health, relationships with friends, socialization, etc.

The destructive model is characteristic of 89% of people on the planet and manifests itself in difficult, turning points in life.

But most often, this disorder is typical for adolescents who, due to their adolescence, lack of sufficient attention from adults, the influence of the street, substitution of real values, priorities and a number of other reasons, succumb to this behavior. In order to understand how to deal with such a problem, you need to understand what caused this behavior. Having understood this, you can cope with destructiveness without much difficulty and outside help. We will talk about all this in the article.

Why does a destructive behavior pattern occur?

For a person from childhood, family and parents become role models. By the age of 4-5, the child receives a stock of knowledge and understanding of human relationships, which will guide him in later life.

If a constructive model of behavior is the norm in a child’s family, all family members take care of each other, solve problems in reasonable ways, and not through scandals and reproaches, the child does not see constant drinking and grows up in a harmonious environment, then the development of such a deviation in his life is unlikely . If the opposite happens, the firstborn is at risk.

Destructive activity has two direction vectors:

1. External manifestations (vandalism, cruelty to animals and people, wars, terrorist attacks, ecocide).
2. Direction towards a person’s inner world or self-destruction (use of alcohol, drugs, psychoactive substances, suicide, etc.).

The condition is aggravated by the presence of certain factors:

• Alcoholism, rampant crime, lack of punishment from the state and the ruling class;
• Marriages of convenience, various speculations;
• Public indifference (a drop in the level of criticism and condemnation from others);
• Inadequate or complete absence of penalties for misconduct.

Characteristic signs

• Cruel and hostile attitude towards others;
• Aggression in communication;
• The tendency to destroy material things and values;
• The tendency to destroy the way of life of loved ones;
• Alienation from emotions and feelings, resulting in an inability to feel anything;
• Posing a danger to one's own life and the lives of loved ones.

Types of destructive behavior

It is difficult for psychologists to clearly define what destructive activity is, since it is inseparable from the concept of a norm, and a norm, nevertheless, is an unstable concept.

The main classification of types of such behavior is given below.

Delinquent

It represents illegal human actions, which entails criminal, administrative and legal liability.

Deviant

A pattern of behavior that is contrary to the moral, moral and ethical views of the public (difference from the recognized norm of behavior).

Forms

The forms of the destructive model may vary and differ depending on the existing relationship with society and the social adaptation of the individual.

Destructive conflict - what is it?

A conflict is a contradiction in the views and interests of individuals or groups of individuals. Psychologists call. In this case, all parties will be able to express their vision and reach a consensus.

Destructive behavior is characterized by the inability to adequately perceive the opinions of others.

In this case, there are two options for conducting confrontation:

1. Destructive– the individual deliberately aggravates the conflict, resorts to insults and personalities, is overly emotional, provokes the opponent to aggression, thereby aggravating the situation.
2. Conformist- in this case, the person submits to the opponent without reservations, even if he does not agree with him.

In both models, the approach to resolving the conflict is not correct, since the controversial situation is not resolved in this way and leaves the possibility of the situation repeating itself in the future.

Why destructiveness is dangerous for society

Family, team, friends, strangers can suffer from the influence of a destructive person, if we are talking about murder and other manifestations of delinquent behavior. It also undermines the psychological health of the individual himself, since he is also trying to destroy himself.

An individual may not understand that he poses a threat to society. This is why a person needs help, since a destructive model over time can develop into.

How can a destructive person change for the better?

To change your condition you need to work hard on yourself. If possible, it should be done if the degree of disorder is severe enough.

and the capacity for compassion

If a person shows compassion and empathy towards others, it means that he feels much less aggression towards himself and towards others. People will stop being afraid of him and will begin to communicate with him, help and show reciprocal feelings.

Don't be afraid

In psychology, all fears are divided into true and false. True fears are circumstances that pose a real threat to life and health; false - all those fears that a person feels in relation to himself. Don't be afraid to seem funny, inferior, imperfect. The most important thing is your own adequate perception of yourself. Then no one will be able to humiliate or insult you.

Lack of release can negatively affect an individual’s health, so it is worth finding the most suitable method for releasing emotions. For some it may be music, others prefer running, others need to hit a punching bag, and others find themselves in art. The main thing is that it brings emotional relief.

Start already, without leaving the screen, to engage in emotional release. Many psychologists have recently been practicing “Anti-stress” coloring books. Below you have the opportunity to use this technique absolutely free.

Choose how you want to paint.

If you are a complete and self-sufficient person for yourself, you will not have to prove anything to anyone or assert yourself through other people. To do this, engage in personal growth and grow in your eyes in relation to yourself yesterday.

Frequently asked questions and answers

What is the prevention of destructive behavior?

Since adolescents are most susceptible to destructive behavior, and then people who have not been given proper time for upbringing, preventive work should begin in the family from childhood, sometimes involving a psychologist. The algorithm of actions is as follows: understanding the child – balance between desire, opportunity and necessity – activation of personal resources and motives – absence of aggression – soft transition to growing up and responsibility.

How is that “destructive”?

Synonyms for this concept are unfruitful, destructive, disastrous, unstable, something that devastates, disrupts the normal structure.

What is destructive activity?

What is constructive behavior?

What is destruction in psychology?

What is a destructive approach?

What is constructive and destructive aggression?

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5.1.Destructive psychological influence

Psychological influence can be destructive to the individual: deprive a person of the opportunity to choose, take responsibility, plan, count on his efforts, and create new things. This influence is called destructive. Destructive influence- influence, which involves interaction in positions of inequality between partners, treating other people as objects of influence who can be influenced by force or cunning in order to achieve only one’s own benefit. Restriction of personal freedom and infringement of dignity leads to the destruction of relationships and disruption of personal development. Depending on whether pressure is openly or covertly exerted on another person, there are varieties destructive influence:

power;

manipulative.

Powerful psychological influence

Powerful psychological influence has different names in the studies of modern authors: “ imperative"[Kovalyov, 1987]; " dominance"[Dotsenko, 1996].

Power influence– open, without disguise, imperative influence to achieve one’s own goals and ignoring the interests and intentions of another person.

A distinctive feature of this influence is interaction from a position of strength, which is why some modern authors call this type of influence “ barbaric", primitive, close to physical impact and unworthy of a civilized person [Sidorenko, 2001].

Powerful influence can be instantly effective: it forces you to do something, it achieves what you want. However, it is ineffective in the long term, as it leads to the gradual destruction of the business, business relationships, and personal integrity. Forceful influence can be justified only in extreme cases - extreme situations that pose a threat to human life and safety (fire, flood, etc.).

In ways forceful psychological influence are:

attack;

compulsion.

The attack is expressed in the fact that another person is perceived as production or how let, which may interfere with the capture of prey, and therefore must be eliminated or neutralized.

Coercion is when another person is perceived as weapon, which can be used, or how let, which you can try to turn into a weapon.

Attack is an attack, a sudden belligerent action against another person or group of people. This is a manifestation of psychological aggression or war. In psychological attack, the only attacking tools used are psychological means–verbal, non-verbal and paralinguistic. Psychological attack is, first of all, verbal attack. The words used by the attacker are addressed not to the cognitive, but to the emotional layer of the personality. This is a sharp and crushing blow with a word, which shakes the entire spiritual being. The attack makes the partner suffer. The blow causes peace of mind for a more or less long period of time.

Forms of psychological attack:

impulsive- an irrational, unintentional action, the cause of which is the desire to free oneself from tension, to defuse aggressive impulses (“I lost my temper.”)

Targeted– a conscious and controlled action with the aim of influencing the emotional state, thoughts, intentions, actions of another person (“This will make him afraid and change his behavior.”)

Total- an action first performed under the influence of an impulse, then continued in order to achieve a specific goal (“I lost my temper, and that scared him and made him change his tactics.”)

Means of psychological attack:

Destructive criticism;

Destructive statements;

Destructive advice.

Destructive criticism- This:

disparaging or insulting judgments about a person's personality (“It’s difficult for you to do such things”; “Except for you, no one could do this job so poorly”);

gross aggressive condemnation, slander or ridicule of his deeds and actions, people significant to him, social communities, ideas, values, material objects, etc. (“Your passion for cheap things amazes me”; “You always surround yourself with suspicious people”);

rhetorical questions aimed at identifying and “correcting” shortcomings (“How can you dress so ridiculously?” “Have you completely lost your mind?”).

The destructiveness of such criticism is that it does not allow a person to “save face”, diverts his energy to fight emerging negative emotions, and takes away faith in himself. In form, destructive criticism is often indistinguishable from the formulas of suggestion: “You are an irresponsible person.” However, the initiator of the influence has as its conscious goal “improving” the behavior of the recipient of the influence (and the unconscious goal is liberation from frustration and anger, a manifestation of force or revenge). He does not at all have in mind the consolidation and strengthening of those models of behavior that are described by the formulas he uses. It is characteristic that the consolidation of negative behavior patterns is one of the most destructive and paradoxical effects of destructive criticism. It is also known that in the formulas of suggestion and auto-training, positive formulations are persistently preferred over the negation of negative ones (for example, the formula “I am calm” is preferable to the formula “I am not worried”).

Destructive statements- This:

mentions and reminders about objective biographical facts that a person is not able to change and which he most often could not influence (national, social and racial identity; urban or rural origin; parental occupation; unlawful behavior of someone close; hereditary and chronic diseases; natural constitution; facial features, etc.). (“Well, yes, you’re from a small town”; “When you get angry, for some reason I remember your brother, who ended up in places not so distant.”)

“friendly”, “harmless” references and hints to mistakes, mistakes and violations committed by the addressee in the past; humorous reference to “old sins” or personal secrets of the addressee (“I often remember how much we fussed with the entire department to correct your mistake.”)

Destructive statements can be made intentionally to cause negative reactions from a partner, or out of bewilderment, thoughtlessness, tactlessness, or under the influence of an impulse. The effect in all cases is the same: the recipient experiences a state of confusion, helplessness, and confusion.

Destructive advice- This:

categorical instructions, commands and instructions that are not implied by the social or working relationships of the partners.

E.V. Sidorenko in her work gives an example of an incident that happened to her and her American colleague and illustrates the prevalence of destructive advice and its negative consequences in our everyday life.

“An American colleague, Shelby Morgan, once told me: “I’m not always open to other people’s criticism and other people’s advice. Often I want peace and wholeness, and sometimes I feel like something important is ripening within me. Why do I need someone else’s intervention at this moment?” One day Shelby came to my dacha with her daughter Sarah. The girl was five years old. The three of us walked along the platform, and Sarah’s sneaker laces were not tied. It just rained. Snow-white laces turned into dirty wet ponytails before our eyes. Both Shelby and Sarah didn't pay any attention to it. I, taught by the experience of communicating with my American friend, also kept quiet and kept possible comments to myself. However, every woman coming towards us always said something like: “Tie the child’s shoelaces! Look how they hang out!” Sensing a foreigner in Shelby, they turned to me: “Tell her...”, etc. I answered everyone: “Thank you” and moved on. After the third such appeal, Shelby could not stand it: “Why do we have to walk around with our shoelaces tied? Why does everyone around me know better than me what I need to do and try to force me to live differently? Why does everyone in Russia advise me to do something? After all, this is a violation of my rights!”[Sidorenko, 2002, p. 44 - 45].

Unsolicited advice is a means of psychological attack because it violates personal rights, challenges a person’s ability to determine for himself what questions to ask himself and what to avoid, what to pay attention to, what decisions to make, and how to learn from his own mistakes.

Another method of power influence is coercion.

Compulsion– coercion (stimulation) of a person to perform certain actions with the help of threats (open or implied) or deprivation.

Coercion is possible only if the coercer actually has the ability to implement threats, that is, the authority to deprive the addressee of any benefits or to change the conditions of his life and work. Such possibilities can be called controlling. By coercion, the initiator threatens to use his control capabilities in order to obtain the desired behavior from the addressee.

Forms of coercion:

Announcing strictly defined deadlines or methods of performing work without any announcements or justification: “You have to triple check your calculations, that’s my golden rule.”

Imposing non-negotiable prohibitions and restrictions: “ You have no right to approach a client if I am negotiating with him, even if he is your personal acquaintance.”

Intimidation by possible consequences: “ Those who are going to object to me now will spend a long time disentangling this later.”

Threat of punishment, in the most severe forms – physical violence: “You either do it by Tuesday or quit.”

Coercion is a method of influence that is limited in the scope of its possible application, since the initiator of influence must have leverage non-psychological pressure on the addressee. If both partners have such leverage, then they can begin to “measure strength.” Such interaction can be called an open power struggle. The winner is the one whose threats were more effective.

In everyday life, especially business, we often encounter civilized forms of coercion. We are forced to follow the terms of a contract, a decision made, an official instruction, rules of politeness, etc. In all these cases, we voluntarily agree that the terms of the agreement, decisions, etc. will force us to act accordingly. What truly coerces is that prohibition, decision, restriction, punishment, etc. that was not agreed upon with us in advance and does not have the status of a definite agreement.

Most likely, every person at least once in his life has asked the question: “How to react to the destructive behavior of another and how to live with such destructive behavior?”

Firstly, you don’t have to live with destructive destructiveness! Or, learn to live next to him, at a distance. Moreover, find the safe distance you need in relation to this. As they say - “be outside”, and “not inside”.

And secondly, don’t take it personally! After all, “disgustingly permissive” comes from another person, and perhaps this is the only possible way for him to establish interaction at a given time and, due to his internal limitations, he cannot demonstrate another. His many years of life experience led to this. And this has nothing to do with you, but with this person. If you understand this, then you can not react and not take it personally, or react less.

And, of course, do not forget to look at your personal life history, at your actions, and sometimes inactions, thanks to which the destructive behavior of another in our space can unfold. This is already your area of ​​responsibility. Sometimes it is dangerous to maintain reconciliation and tolerance in a community of people where intransigence and intolerance are elevated to the principle of existence.

It is advisable to clarify for yourself how you condone the manifestation of “disgusting” in your space. It is impossible to build an ideal world. Yes, you yourself know. Although it is possible that you dream about it. Then what to do with all this? And can you influence reality?

1. Give up the illusion that you can remove conflict from your life.

And the sooner you do this, the faster you will move on to new actions. By internally allowing conflicts to exist in your diverse reality, you will free up that part of the energy that is spent on holding your tension and resentment.

Let me clarify that allowing conflicts to “be” means understanding the inevitability of this type of interaction as part of reality.

2. Don’t hang around in a situation that is problematic for you longer than necessary.

Yes, we were upset! And who wouldn’t be upset by destructive behavior aimed at your personality? Disassociate yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.

Otherwise, all your energy will be spent on active resistance to the “enemy”, or on maintaining colossal tension and internal dialogues with him, if you are not ready to enter into an open fight. And you will not have the strength to take productive actions to get out of pathological relationships.

3. Separate your area of ​​responsibility from the other person's area of ​​responsibility.

Do not support the “production” of destructive behavior towards yourself. You can be responsible for your behavior. You are not responsible for the behavior of another adult, no matter how much he convinces you of this. Your responsibilities may include your desire to regulate destructive interactions, as well as your desire to exert as much effort as you can to influence what happens.

4. If there is no way to influence the situation, then leave the problematic interaction.

Or move away to the required, fairly safe distance.

5. If possible, gain experience and acquire the skill to transform destructive relationships into relationships that are similar to human ones.

And one last thing. Remind yourself and others that it is necessary not only to need and demand human relationships, but also to “produce” these very human relationships.

The destructive (destructive) principle is an integral property of human nature, however, self-control, awareness, as well as public censure protect us from its extreme manifestations: murder, violence, suicide. In general, the phenomenon of destructiveness has been little studied by psychology and psychiatry, although this term has taken root in philosophy quite a long time ago.

I was able to explain for the first time what destructiveness is and what are the reasons for its existence by proposing the theory of the desire for death. From the point of view of this theory, destructive behavior is behavior that is different from normal; it is aimed at self-destruction and, as a result, entails a deterioration in the individual’s quality of life.

Basic theories explaining the phenomenon

Destructive behavior is characterized by the presence of deviations, or deviations, which are divided according to the following criteria: the norm violated, the goals and motivation for committing the act, the result obtained. From Freud's point of view, the most important criterion of destructiveness is a result that can lead to the release of internal tension through a process that does not imply destruction.

A well-known specialist in the field of psychology says that destructive activity, depending on the state of the psyche, can be directed inward or outward:

• External forms of manifestation of destructiveness are considered to be the mental or physical destruction of a person, violation of social rules or foundations (extremism, terrorism), deliberate destruction of nature, destruction of global monuments, art and literature.
• Internal forms of destructiveness are suicidal tendencies, addictions, non-chemical addictions of a pathological nature.

He also studied the phenomenon of destructiveness; he believed that a destructive person is, first of all, an aggressive person. Aggression can be benign, that is, serving as a natural tool of life, or malignant, non-adaptive, causing social and biological harm.

In his theory, the meaning of the word “destructive” is close to “non-constructive”; it characterizes individuals who do not have the potential for self-realization. Fromm says that a destructive person runs away from freedom, trying to overcome his own inferiority with the help of destructive principles, exposing more talented people to physical or moral influences.

In the psychology of destructive behavior, a special place is occupied by the concept developed by N. Farberow. He says that a destructive personality is incapable of critically assessing the consequences of his actions and perceives reality distortedly and often hostilely.

Such a person’s self-esteem is often greatly inflated, which is why the level of self-worth interferes with the ability to properly build communications with people. Farberow was able to substantiate not only the destructive craving of some individuals for the abuse of various psychotropic substances, but also developed an entire system of suicide prevention, which is still successfully used in the United States.

Forms of manifestation of the phenomenon and methods of behavior correction

From a psychological point of view, destruction can manifest itself in many forms, so let's look at the main, most common ones.

Destructive relationships can arise between close people connected by common interests, hobbies or aspirations. This type of interaction often exists in creative unions between creator and muse or in married couples. Psychologists say that if relationships are not built correctly, the destructive influence will have a detrimental effect, first of all, on the personality of a mentally healthy person.

Destructive thinking is another variant of deviation, when a person is constantly accompanied by a deep and overwhelming feeling of resentment towards the whole world. Unfortunately, destructive thoughts come to each of us at least once a day, but approximately 40% of all inhabitants of the planet consistently think in a negative way.

To tune in to the positive, try to evaluate every thought: for positive ones, buy yourself something tasty, and for negative ones, go for a good evening run. Scientists have found that physical activity stimulates the production of joy hormones, and this is a direct path to a good mood and getting rid of destructive aspirations.

Destructive feelings are another problem of modern society, the so-called phenomenon of general anxiety and dissatisfaction. Basically, they are the result of incorrect internal attitudes, the habit of dividing everything into black and white, bias, and belief in a negative outcome.

Destructive emotions are a consequence of destructive feelings that control a person. To change the psychological and emotional background, corrective work with a specialist is necessary, as well as special breathing training aimed at getting rid of feelings of internal tension and discomfort.

A destructive character manifests itself as a tendency to gloominess, unsociability, fatalism, closedness, some fear of contact with others or awkwardness in communication. Psychologists have developed special techniques to overcome these traits and form a correct outlook on life. One of the methods was proposed by a group of American psychologists; it consists of several modules:

• An in-depth analysis of the client’s destructive character traits, identifying among them those that he would like to get rid of.
• Work on realizing the need for change, getting rid of destructiveness. The truth of the patient’s desire to become different is checked, and a portrait of the desired character traits is drawn up.
• Group classes to consolidate the necessary qualities.

Destructive communication and destructive criticism are the most common causes of quarrels and open confrontation between people. History knows many examples when a simple conversation ended in war. The art of communicating correctly and productively can be mastered by, for example, self-education or enrolling in special courses. Books that contain a lot of practical advice on developing communication skills will be an undoubted help. Author: Natalya Ivanova