Key words: influence, business conversation, diplomacy, gestures, manipulation, facial expressions, communication, negotiations, body movement.
Key words: influence, diplomacy, gesture, manipulation, facial personal contact, negotiations, talks, motion.
This work examines the psychological aspects of a diplomat’s communicative activity, in particular non-verbal techniques, the most common gestures, special attention is paid to the so-called neurolinguistic programming, or in other words, the basics of effective communication between people.
This paper discusses the psychological aspects of communication activities to the diplomat, in particular non-verbal techniques, the most common gestures, special attention is paid to the so-called neuro-linguistic programming, and in other words, the basics of effective communication between people.
In the Great Soviet Encyclopedia, the word “diplomacy” has the following definition: “Official activities of heads of state, government and special bodies of foreign relations to implement the goals and objectives of the foreign policy of states, as well as to protect the interests of the state abroad. Serves the interests of the ruling classes. In the literature, it is often customary to define diplomacy as “the science of foreign relations”, as “the art of negotiations.”
Quoting the Big Law Dictionary, this is “One of the ways to implement the state’s foreign policy.” For successful diplomatic activities, it is necessary to have a good knowledge of international relations and the state of affairs in each country.
“The task of diplomacy is to maintain communication between two sovereign states through negotiations,” writes the famous author of works on diplomacy, the Englishman Harold Nicholson, a British diplomat and historian. In 1939 he published Diplomacy, now considered a classic work of its kind. Nicholson noted that despite the fact that diplomats communicate using a certain generally accepted international code (special phrases, expressions and words), nevertheless, even they are not immune from the fact that foreign colleagues will misunderstand them.
The role of human communicative activity in the modern world is difficult to overestimate, especially when talking about diplomacy. Speech occupies a special position in the hierarchy of mental processes, due to which it acts as the main means of communication, an instrument of thinking and is part of human culture.
Communication is a multifaceted process of developing contacts between people, generated by the needs of joint activities. Communication includes the exchange of information between its participants, which can be characterized as the communicative side of communication.
The art of communication is the most important skill. To become a master of communication, you need to develop a wide variety of skills: oratory skills, the ability to manage conflict, negotiation skills, adjusting to your interlocutor, mastery of facial expressions, voice and gestures.
The art of communication occupies a special place in the life of a diplomat. A diplomat must be able to communicate with different segments of the population correctly and competently. The ability to speak a language is one of the main tools of a diplomat.
For a diplomat involved in negotiations, the work begins long before he meets his opponent. First of all, it is necessary to study the problem to be discussed. The general rule here is simple - the more you know, the better. Even in ancient times, it was believed that a good diplomat should be a well-rounded person. Aristotle in his “Rhetoric” gives a long list of sciences that a future diplomat must master before he dares to show himself in the field of foreign policy. Ancient Greek diplomats had to understand not only current political problems, but at the same time master geography, history, economics, military affairs and be good speakers. However, there are exceptions to this rule. When a diplomat is involved in a complex negotiation process for a long time, he may become too involved in the details and lose sight of the perspective.
Negotiations are, in essence, the basis of diplomacy and the ability to negotiate is “aerobatics” in the diplomatic profession. This is far from a simple matter. Diplomatic negotiations have a number of features that make them significantly different from, say, business negotiations and even domestic political negotiations.
First of all, a diplomat, when building his negotiating position, proceeds from the concept of “national interest.” This means that his position must be supra-party and not depend on ideological and other interests.
During negotiations, all means of putting pressure on the enemy are usually used. Participants begin by stating their initial positions, which often include exaggerated demands, and often do this in the form of an ultimatum. During negotiations between rivals, in order to cause confusion for the enemy, the parties often put forward additional demands at moments when all the main parameters of the future agreement seem to have already been agreed upon. Very often, linking objectively unrelated or weakly related issues is used. Negotiations between rivals are usually accompanied by a media propaganda campaign designed to put even more pressure on the opponent.
Participation in negotiations of this type is associated with great psychological stress. It is important to refrain from emotional reactions, which is what the enemy often counts on. It is also important not to reject his proposals out of hand, but to try to find positive elements in them and rephrase them so that an acceptable formulation is obtained. Even in the most heated atmosphere, it is advisable to say “yes” with reservations more often than an unambiguous “no”.
Psychological preparation for a business conversation and the mood for a partner is very important, but not decisive. The result depends on preparedness, but is determined by how the conversation itself is structured. In order to avoid making obvious mistakes in constructing a conversation, psychologists suggest using the following basic principles.
1. Rationality. During the conversation, it is necessary to behave with restraint, even if the partner shows emotions. Why? Firstly, uncontrolled emotions always have a negative impact on the decision. Secondly, there is a psychological rule that says: “In a discussion, the one who is calmer wins.” Calmness and rationality are the best response to a surge of emotions on the part of a partner.
2. Understanding. You must try to understand your interlocutor. After all, he is trying to explain his position, convey his opinion to his interlocutor, but due to inattention to his point of view, he cannot achieve his goal. And this causes irritation and threatens mutual misunderstanding of positions. Before influencing the position of a communication partner, you should understand it.
3. Attention. It has been established that during a conversation the level of concentration of attention fluctuates. And this happens even when there are no distractions. Concentration and attention throughout the conversation are not the same. The human psyche is designed in such a way that in the process of obtaining information, it requires breaks from time to time. At these moments, attention involuntarily dissipates, and the interlocutor seems to “fall out” for several minutes, disconnected from the conversation. At such moments, you should verbally or non-verbally attract his attention and restore broken contact. The best way to do this is to ask the question: “Are you listening to me?”
4. Credibility. In a conversation, you should not give false information, even when the interlocutor does so. Otherwise, a tactical one may turn into a strategic defeat.
5. Demarcation. Establishing a boundary between the interlocutor and the subject of conversation is a very important psychological principle. In the process of communication, we often identify what our partner says with him or even with our attitude towards him. Pleasant information conveyed by an unpleasant interlocutor loses half of its appeal. Our personal attitude towards a person whom we dislike often makes it difficult to objectively assess the information conveyed to him. To avoid this, you should pay attention, first of all, to what exactly is being communicated, and not to what and how it is being communicated.
As with any other technology, there are a huge number of techniques in NLP.
1. Rapport. Rapport is a rather fragile form of feedback in the process of communication, giving the interlocutor a feeling of being understood and liked. In case of good rapport, the interlocutor develops a feeling of trust in the communicator. In diplomatic activities, the ability to correctly create “rapports” can be very useful, since a diplomat who inspires trust will be able to negotiate more successfully than his colleague who does not inspire trust.
When establishing rapport, it is important to be able to adjust. The adjustment happens:
Adjustment to the pose. When rapport is created, you should first take the same pose as your partner - “mirror” your partner’s pose.
Adjustment to breathing. Options are possible here: adjustment to breathing can be direct or indirect. Direct adjustment - start breathing at the same pace as your partner. Indirect adjustment is coordinating some part of one’s behavior with the partner’s breathing rhythm, for example, swinging one’s hand in time with the partner’s breathing, or speaking in time with his breathing, that is, as he exhales. Direct adjustment is more effective in creating rapport.
Adjustment to movements. It is more complex than previous types of adjustment, because both posture and breathing are something relatively unchanging and constant, which can be considered and copied gradually. Movement is a relatively fast process, in this regard, the communicator will need, firstly, observation, and secondly, you need to think in advance about how the partner will not be able to realize the actions of the communicator.
“Mirroring” must be extremely careful and delicate, otherwise it will cause exactly the opposite reaction. Adjustment is followed by leading, when the communicator, by changing his behavior, causes changes in the partner’s behavior. The initial lead is also a test of how well the rapport is working.
2. Ocular access keys. A person is designed in such a way that while he thinks and speaks, his eyeballs move. Our eyes demonstrate the features of memory and the thinking process, show how a person gains access to information encoded in our brain. When talking with your interlocutor, you may notice that his eyes are in constant motion.
For a diplomat, it is important not only to be able to correctly interpret views, but also to look after oneself and control oneself.
Looking up and to the left: visual memory. These are images of the past stored in visual memory. This also includes dreams, constructed images that have already been “seen” before.
Looking up and to the right: constructing visual images. As a rule, here a person constructs images that he has not seen.
Looking horizontally to the left: auditory memory. Memorized sounds (speech sounds, melodies, often phone numbers, memorized poems without focusing on the meaning - rhythmic memorization).
Gaze horizontally to the right: auditory construction. Usually this is constructed speech or the construction of sounds with a new timbre, rhythm, pitch, etc.
Looking down to the left: internal dialogue. Inner dialogue is a commentary on experience. Internal dialogue can be a tool for rational logical thinking.
Looking down to the right: feelings. At this point, a person can access emotions and kinesthetic experiences. A characteristic posture for people who are depressed: head down, “drooping” appearance, looking down to the right (or down to the left).
Unfocused eyes: a person is in at least two systems. For example, hears and sees, sees and feels, and perhaps all together. This state is called a light trance with altered consciousness.
3. Breaking the pattern. Many of our actions are carried out according to a certain program, repeated hundreds and thousands of times without changes: greeting, shaking hands, smoking. When acquaintances meet and ask: “How are you?”, they are not really interested in the state of affairs - they simply act according to a program called “greeting” and which provides a template answer: “Fine” to a template question.
You can ask: “How are you?” answer: “It’s terrible, I’ll die soon”; or start talking in detail about your affairs: “Well, just imagine, yesterday in the metro on Vasileostrovskaya everyone’s feet were trampled, but today I didn’t hear the alarm clock, overslept, and was late for the lecture. I actually wanted to go to bed early, but it didn’t work out: first I was watching TV with my neighbors, and then I remembered that I still had a lot of things to do...” This behavior does not correspond to the generally accepted program and causes confusion in the partner. And this situation of confusion can be taken advantage of - if the partner’s old behavior program, the old pattern is broken, it is possible to impose a new program on him.
This is a very good and effective technique, but it should be used in diplomatic practice with extreme caution, because it is necessary to comply with strict diplomatic protocol, violation of which is fraught with serious consequences not only for the image of a particular diplomat, but also for international relations
These basic aspects of body language will help a diplomat make a good impression on others.
Face. The face should be lively, more smiles, but in moderation. It is necessary to take care of your teeth to be able to sparkle them.
Gestures. Gestures should be expressive, but also in moderation. During gestures, you should not spread your fingers, and your hands should be kept below chin level, without crossing your arms and legs.
Head movements. You should nod more often, confirming what the interlocutor has said, and while listening, tilt your head to the side. Keep your chin raised.
Eye contact. Eye contact should not cause feelings of awkwardness or discomfort. If national traditions do not prohibit looking directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, then those who look directly gain more trust than those who prefer to look away.
Posture. While listening, you should lean forward. When speaking, stand straight.
Territory. You should stand at a comfortable distance from the interlocutor. If the interlocutor retreats, you should not approach him.
Specularity. Having mirroring skills, you can quietly copy the language signals and body movements of your interlocutors.
The psychological and political qualities of a diplomat are manifested in his activity, behavior, work and diplomatic activities. Diplomacy is a professional work activity and, moreover, a scientific and practical activity. To the same extent, it is the same scientific discipline as physics, mathematics, biology, only its subject is power, the “psychological-practical field of power,” no less natural than the gravitational or magnetic field.
The choice of means of influencing people's states and the application of management methods to them presuppose exceptionally high characteristics for the diplomat himself - possession of developed self-control, self-regulation, self-government and self-education, knowledge in the field of practical psychology.
When choosing between means of influence, a diplomat takes risks like no other type of work activity. Only success and victory free him from responsibility. In case of defeat, he will face either the end of his career (political death), condemnation or terror (physical death), a ban on his profession (professional death), discredit in the media and historical literature (moral death). The choice of means is associated with difficult psychological experiences and extremely difficult decisions.
The main problems that I had to face during the preparation of this work are the lack of a sufficient amount of literature devoted to the psychological aspects of communicative activity specifically in diplomacy.
11. Great Soviet Encyclopedia [Electronic resource] URL: http://bse.sci-lib.com (access date: 10/21/2010).
12. Gorin S. A. Have you tried hypnosis (transcripts of seminars). M., Lan, 1995. – 208 p.
14. Peke A. Discourse on the art of negotiations / trans. from fr. L. Sifurova. – M.: Scientific book, 2004. – 192 p.
15. Popov V. Modern diplomacy: theory and practice. Diplomacy - science and art: Course of lectures / V. Belov. – M: International. relations, Yurayt-Izdat, 2006. – 575 p.
16. Rytchenko T.A., Tatarkova N.V. Psychology of business relations. –M.: MGUESI, 2001. – 91 p.
Choose your words carefully. Even with the best intentions, your words can offend people. Before talking about a sensitive topic, think about whether the words you want to say are truthful, helpful and kind. Speak in the first person to express your own feelings rather than assume other people's thoughts and feelings.
- So, you can say: “I am unhappy with the decision that was made at the meeting,” instead of: “You must be upset about this decision.”
- All statements must express your point of view and view of the situation.
- There is no need to defend yourself and blame others.
- If you need to discuss a serious issue, think about the appropriate words in advance.
The style of speech should be appropriate to the situation. Assess who you are dealing with so that people understand your words correctly. Choose the appropriate method such as email and personal conversation. Some news is best communicated to the whole team, and some one-on-one.
- For example, it is necessary to inform staff about budget cuts. Previously, you conveyed important information through email, but this method led to confusion. In this case, it is better to hold a meeting and report the news, and then answer questions.
- If necessary, schedule individual meetings.
Be open-minded to new ideas. You don't always have to make decisions alone. Also try to understand other people's point of view. Always thank the person for his sincerity so that he does not hesitate to express his feelings. Analyze other people's views, but be firm and decisive if you think your decision is the best choice.
- Say: “Thank you for your frankness, Andrey. I will definitely take your comments into account and consider new research on this issue.”
Use confident words and body language. You don't need to be aggressive in your conversation, but you should show confidence. Speak slowly and consider your words. Look people in the eye and don't cross your arms or legs.
- Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know something. For example, say, "I'm not very knowledgeable about this topic and I'm not ready to answer right now, but I'll definitely look into your question."
Use evasive words. Speak slightly evasively so as not to express all your thoughts and feelings too directly. Make suggestions, not prescriptions. Diplomatic people do not shout orders, but inspire others to take necessary action. Your goal is to collaborate with your team to inspire people to do their best work.
- For example, if you need to reconcile two children, say: “You both should think about how best to divide the space in the room so that you will fight less.”
- Say to an employee who is often late: “Have you ever tried taking the bypass to get to work? Thanks to the lack of traffic jams, I got there faster on many occasions.” Such words should only be spoken to those people with whom you are on good terms, otherwise your advice may be perceived as passive aggression.
Mind your manners. Good manners are an important aspect of diplomacy. Speak in turns and never interrupt the other person. Try to encourage the person and avoid insults. Don't shout, don't swear, and speak in your normal voice.
Life on Earth is constantly changing, and civilization is developing with it. Relations between peoples and states are subject to various conditions that require a certain settlement. Each state has its own diplomatic service; thanks to the work of diplomats, countries regulate their interests and achieve certain goals in the world political arena. Who are they, diplomats? What kind of people are these and is it possible to learn this art or do you have to be born a diplomat?
Meaning and meaning of the word
Diplomacy is often given the wrong meaning, believing that diplomacy is pleasing everyone, the ability to keep one’s opinion to oneself and not express it to others. However, a diplomatic person is one who knows how to assess a situation before speaking out and taking action. The diplomat does not show haste and suppresses overconfidence through reasoning. He is a tactful person, capable of objectively assessing events and having a developed sense of proportion. Such a person knows how to be restrained even in the most difficult situations. The meaning of the word "diplomatic" is evasive, political, able to act subtly. A diplomat, according to Ozhegov’s dictionary, is a public official whose main occupation is foreign relations.
Diplomat's profession and personal qualities
Unique implies responsibility to the state in representing the interests of national policy abroad. To be a diplomat, you must have many qualities, be able to communicate and be somewhat creative. This profession promises many privileges, however, it also requires a person to go through a long period of work. Such activities involve not only meetings, negotiations and various events, but also long routine work. Moreover, this profession is dangerous.
A diplomatic person is an intelligent, talented and comprehensively developed person. It is believed that diplomacy is an innate quality. Of course, such data needs to be developed, since the success of the diplomatic service depends on a person’s education, his cultural potential, the ability to use accumulated historical experience, adapt and navigate in any difficult and unexpected situation.
The diplomat studies the culture and traditions of foreign countries, foreign languages, and psychology. He constantly works on his intelligence. He must have an excellent sense of humor, charm, developed strong-willed qualities, memory, high ability to work, and intuition. All these qualities must be developed. But, of course, knowledge and skills fall on fertile soil that has potential for such development.
Signs of diplomacy
The art of communication in everyday life, the ability to smooth out conflicts, achieve peace and harmony in the environment - qualities necessary for a diplomat. A diplomatic person is a skilled psychologist. Such a professional, who has a keen sense of the interlocutor, the ability to find the necessary approach to him, convince him that he is right, and in such a way that the opponent will believe that he came to such conclusions on his own, can achieve a lot. A person with diplomatic behavior achieves his goal without the slightest pressure on his interlocutor.
Moreover, a person with the qualities of a diplomat knows how to correctly not only build a dialogue, but also conduct correspondence. The appearance of people with diplomatic qualities is comprehensively described in the literature. It is not uncommon for these people to be portrayed in a sarcastic and negative light. This suggests that not every person can make diplomacy their profession. Particular attention should be paid not only to the advantages, but also to the shortcomings of the individual. After all, they are the ones who, as a rule, can play a negative role in negotiations at all levels.
Diplomacy is a great art. With the help of diplomacy you can achieve more than with the help of brute pressure, which does not bring stability. The basis of diplomacy is compromise. But, a compromise, from a strong position. Compromise from a position of weakness will always be a losing proposition, although it can be better than war. Diplomatism and categorical decision-making are incompatible concepts. Even when it is necessary to act from a position of strength, a compromise must always be maintained, since confrontation will not bring any benefit to either side. If the party with whom you need to negotiate is obviously stronger, then the diplomat’s task is to arrange everything in such a way that negotiations can be conducted from a strong position. How to learn all this, what qualities should a diplomat have in order for his activities to be successful? Sometimes, one diplomat, in terms of effectiveness, can cost an entire army or a huge increase in the state budget. Let's try to figure it out. Firstly, a diplomat’s psyche must be very balanced, otherwise he will not be able to make informed decisions. But in order for the psyche to be balanced, the diplomat must have an iron will, which, in turn, is based on stable attention, which is the mind. Secondly, he must have a phenomenal memory. Thirdly, he must be able to manage circumstances and always keep the situation under control. Further, he must be able to promote his interests without infringing on the interests of those with whom he wants to cooperate. Promoting only your own interest, in the long term, will give the opposite result. At the same time, he should not allow someone else’s interest to advance, to the detriment of his own, and he should squeeze out the maximum benefit from his own interest, presenting it in such a way that the opposite party is satisfied with the agreements adopted. A diplomat must be a highly educated and comprehensively developed person. This allows you to think more broadly and prevents you from getting into trouble. A diplomat must have excellent health, otherwise his work will be less effective, and he must serve as an example to follow, a standard of decency, a person who can be trusted... All these are long-known truths, the main thing is how can you develop the qualities described above in yourself? He will start with the main thing - with stabilizing the balance. How to achieve it? First of all, you need to learn to get enough sleep. Do not rush to criticize sleep and say that a diplomat must work as hard as possible in order for his activities to be effective. The activity can be effective for a well-rested and well-slept person. A person running, in a hurry, has an unbalanced psyche, and therefore he will not be able to make informed decisions. This does not mean that you need to sleep soundly - normal sleep does not exceed eight hours, you just cannot create a sleep deficit, otherwise the quality will suffer, which is the most important thing for a diplomat. The second point is the development of stable attention, which allows you to penetrate into the essence of things and phenomena and, at the same time, not lose connection with the whole and control the situation. The more sustained the attention, the wider the coverage and deeper insight into the essence (there are many articles on the site describing the mechanics). Memory increases significantly, and not conservatively, without fixations. Information becomes neutral and can be memorized in any volume and shuffled in any combination. Moreover, everything will be interconnected and at the same time, you can carry out many mental operations of different significance. For example, a diplomat will be able to simultaneously view the political climate in the country, its financial and military power, connections with other countries, opportunities, risks, etc., and at the same time, look out for his own benefit and arrange everything in such a way that what he wants is realized in the best possible way, and with the opposite side was satisfied with this. Only balanced thinking, which is inherent in the human head by nature, is capable of such flexibility. And the desire for a compromise between opposites is also inherent in man by nature, which is clearly visible in dreams. Compromise is the ideal solution to any problem. If a person is not restrained and cannot control his emotions, it means that there is a breakdown in his psyche that needs correction. During sleep, in dreams, the brain, through nightmares, forces us to work out a compromise if a person has gone to extremes in order to find a “golden mean”. For example, a friend turns into an enemy, an enemy into a friend. If you decide all issues only from a position of strength, then in your dreams, the brain will turn you into a nonentity so that you experience the humiliation and fear that you subjected the weaker to. A balanced person initially avoids such changes, and therefore makes wise decisions. Balanced thinking allows you to solve not only current problems, but also look into the long term so that conflicts can be avoided in the future. It makes a person tolerant, tolerant of other people’s opinions, but not at the expense of his own interests. Once you give in and become too human, they will immediately take advantage of you and cause you harm. And the point is not that people are bad, you just don’t have to be weak yourself. The strong are reckoned with, the weak are wiped off their feet. Equilibrium has the most powerful potential energy, capable of being concentrated to the area of a point. It unites the spiritual and material, EGO and altruism and makes you the master of your desires. The background of balance is always benevolent and creative. It allows you to be strong in this world and at the same time maintain human qualities. You need to be a diplomat not only in politics, but also in business and in everyday life. A good businessman is a diplomat and will always be one step ahead of his competitors. And not only thanks to the ability to negotiate, but also due to mental abilities, which in a balanced person are many times higher than in a person with an unstable psyche. With balanced thinking, the mind is calm and in control, and the feelings are completely relaxed, which includes intuition, which is far superior to logical thinking in effectiveness. Balanced thinking allows feelings to remain pristine, which makes a person highly spiritual. Spirituality is beneficial to a person. It makes a person’s psyche balanced, and he realizes that he is part of the universe, and not the navel of the earth, so he will take care of his environment. Diplomats need such an attitude towards the environment, otherwise their activities will be devoid of spirituality, and therefore will be destructive. A spiritual person will always defend human values, and the corresponding situation will be attracted to him. Balanced thinking makes a person healthy physically and mentally, and he sees the main human values, and does not scatter himself over trifles. He realizes the importance of family and this will also have a positive impact on his activities. A balanced person is truthful, and the truth gives additional advantages when solving problems, since there is no need to make amendments and adjustments, but the essence is immediately visible. By stabilizing attention (concentration and dispersion - two in one), a person automatically adjusts himself to the correct perception of the world, and everything else adjusts automatically. In this regard, we must learn from the animal world. For lack of attention, they pay with their lives. January 7, 2014
An important quality when conducting any negotiations is diplomacy - the ability to select words that have only a positive connotation, conveying the meaning of deep respect, admiration, trust, and beneficial cooperation.
Diplomacy allows you to turn any dispute into an occasion for a conversation at the negotiating table, during which each side is sure to receive certain benefits for itself.
Great diplomats prevented military conflicts and established good neighborly relations with sworn enemies. Moreover, it is worth using diplomacy in your daily life, establishing personal connections and business contacts thanks to the ability to smooth out any friction.
Diplomacy in communication
Often impulsive individuals do not choose words, expressing themselves directly, acting straightforwardly, but... The same idea can be expressed in different ways. The method of transmitting information determines a response, which, to put it mildly, may not be to our benefit at all.
Let me give you an example: neighbors often quarrel because of some inconvenience they create for each other. Defending their rights (everyone is confident that they are right), the debaters can not mince words, colorfully describing everything they think about this. The result: the problem gets worse (after all, then the offender can continue his actions out of spite), the relationship deteriorates, not to mention the mood. It's disgusting to leave the house! Diplomacy can improve the situation. Instead of angry, harsh statements, you can calmly explain the essence of the trouble. Express your understanding of the need that has arisen, ask that your interests be taken into account (however, be sincere, sarcasm is inappropriate here). A rare person will persist, continuing to harm you and create inconvenience.
Another example: an irritated husband who comes home from work may not behave entirely correctly. By answering in the same tone, the wife incites conflict out of the blue. By choosing the right words or showing attention and tact, you can relieve tension. Result: maintained good relationships, good mood.
There are many opportunities to express your disapproval in calm, positive words. Talk about the problem without getting personal. Express your interest in constructively resolving conflicts and misunderstandings by showing respect to your opponent.
Diplomacy in communication lies in the ability to:
- Choose words that have a positive connotation.
- Show respect to your opponent.
- Emphasize the strengths of others.
- Focus on benefits.
- Find mutually beneficial solutions, take into account interests.
- express your dissatisfaction, excluding emotionality, using facts, giving undeniable justifications.
- Express admiration and give thanks.
- Focus on cooperation, avoiding conflicts.
- , explain with facts why it is unprofitable to quarrel with you, show the benefits of good relationships (in acute conflicts).
Reason, balance, and a positive attitude are the main components of diplomacy in communication. You don't have to be an aristocrat to demonstrate this noble quality while maintaining friendly relationships with others.
