How to achieve what you want? Six ways to get what you need from a person.

Effective visualization for every sane person
On the list of one of the best motivating films that can change your life for the better is the film “The Secret”, released in 2006. He quickly became popular. And it’s not surprising: the film’s authors promise to reveal a secret that has been kept for millennia from “mere mortals.” Those who comprehended it became successful and almost omnipotent. Having heard such promises from the creators of the film, few people will not watch it: everyone wants their deepest desires to be fulfilled.

So what do we learn from this film? At the very beginning, the authors already share the main knowledge about the law of attraction. They claim that this law is the very secret that not many people know. “What we think about is what we attract,” they say.

According to the authors and participants of this film, thoughts create things. Therefore, if you just imagine that you are living in abundance, then with the help of the law of attraction you will receive all the benefits that you have been thinking about all the time. At the same time, you need to think about positive, positive things. If you have negativity and tension in your thoughts, you will attract troubles. Since the Universe doesn’t care whether you wish for yourself good or bad, it simply materializes your thoughts.

Film participants share their stories about how they learned the secret and managed to change their lives for the better, make your dreams come true and become rich, successful and happy. After listening to them, I want to believe that the power of thought is actually capable of working miracles. However, skeptics and so-called realists believe that this secret revealed by the authors is not the key to a successful future. People are trying to expose the filmmakers in lies by posting various materials about them. But, nevertheless, there are those who already confirm that after watching the film and changing their way of thinking, their lives have changed, they have become happy, successful and rich. Therefore, it’s still worth trying to take the advice of the film’s authors. What if it helps?

So the film says whatever thoughts dominate, that's what happens. People are like magnets, attracting everything around them. Therefore, you should not think about the bad. Hearing such advice, many get scared: it turns out that when they start analyzing and listening to their thoughts, they come to the conclusion that they have a lot of negative thoughts in their heads. But the authors reassure us by saying that positive thoughts are hundreds of times stronger than negative ones. You just need to learn to think about the good. And gradually life will begin to change.

Every Human- creator of your life, they say in the film. And he creates it with his thoughts. Therefore, what you complain about, you brought to yourself.

Of course, it is difficult to constantly control your thoughts. Because a huge number of thoughts rush through the mind. And they are all divided into 2 types: good and bad. The authors claim that you just need to change negative emotions to positive ones, and your whole life will change. The Universe will hear your thoughts. That is, he eats thinking and feeling, people create their lives.

Thoughts can be changed. And by changing your consciousness, you change your Universe.

The filmmakers tell the audience that our lives can be incredible, they should be if the knowledge they share is applied. After all, the number of wishes is not limited. The Universe, like a Genie, fulfills wishes. You just need to take a step - ask for what you want with the help of your thoughts and images. The authors advise writing on a piece of paper everything you want to receive. And the Universe will do everything for you.

It is very important to set yourself up to what do you want to receive. You should feel a sense of anticipation as you think about what you want. It is important to be in harmony with what you want. You must imagine that you already have what you want.

There is no need to doubt, put off, you need to act, say the participants in the film “The Secret”. You can attract what you want. At the same time, the speed of fulfillment of a desire depends on how in harmony you are with the Universe.

Who a person is at a given moment depends on his past thoughts, the film argues. Don't think about the past, about who you are now. Be grateful for what you have. The authors advise writing on a piece of paper what you are grateful for. At the same time, gratitude must be carried through your heart. The state of gratitude is a very important feeling.

According to the filmmakers, it plays an important role in getting closer to the goal. You need to be able to imagine the end result. At the same time, there must be faith in success. Believe that anything is possible. You need to trust the Universe. And working on your thoughts and images should not become a routine. It should bring sincere joy. Really enjoy the process.

How to create a positive atmosphere in your home

Almost everyone wants and craves to have a supportive and positive atmosphere in their home. It’s one thing to want, but it’s another thing to take responsibility for it and take certain steps in this direction. Perhaps the whole secret is to start doing something, and not just passively wait for what you want.

Just a few practical tips will help everyone create a pleasant atmosphere and improve relationships in their home:

  • Take care of your physical health. By taking care of the physical condition of not only yourself, but also each member of your family, you can feel more proactive and happy. Getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing basic exercise will naturally produce more strength and energy to do things around the house. On the contrary, lack of sleep, poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle will contribute to inactivity and apathy. In such a state, any desire to do anything disappears.
  • Positive attitude. One of the most important points in creating a favorable atmosphere in the home is the ability to think positively. To a greater extent, this applies to mental activity. It is important to analyze your thoughts hourly and every minute and learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Consider any current situation from the positive side and do not allow negative thoughts to creep into your consciousness.
  • Create cleanliness and comfort in the house. When everything around you is clean, tidy and has a pleasant smell, it will undoubtedly affect your mood and make you feel cheerful.

Home should be a place not only of relaxation and rest, but also a place where a person receives a charge of energy and motivation to achieve his goals.


Set yourself high goals. For example, earn one hundred thousand dollars a year. Visualize the goal. Draw $100K and your dream lifestyle. And ideas will certainly come to you with the help of which you can achieve your goal. And when ideas come, you need to believe in them and act.

Think about prosperity, tell yourself that money comes often and easily. Many people think that this is not true, that money does not come easy. But this attitude towards money can change.

Life should be abundant on all sides. Happiness is everything together. The totality of all benefits. Not just money. Therefore, first of all, you need to strive for harmony and joy. Draw yourself a happy life. Learn to love yourself. So until you are in harmony with yourself, until you love yourself and are happy, others will feel bad with you. Ask yourself: “Am I treating myself the way I want to be treated?” Solve your problems, fill yourself until you are full, so that you can give to others.

Love yourself, and the world around you will love you! Love yourself and you will love others!

Learn to focus on the positive qualities of loved ones. Write down these qualities. When you are satisfied with yourself, you will not want to change others and remake the world for yourself.

The authors of the film also argue that our body is a product of our thoughts. The mind plays an important role in healing. And all diseases arise due to internal imbalance, overexertion and stress. Illness is a signal that our body gives us. One of the participants in the film shares how she managed to recover from cancer. She watched comedies, laughed, did not let stress into her life, did not think about the disease, as if it did not exist, and after 3 months the doctors were surprised by the result. There was no more cancer. But nevertheless, both the authors of the film and many sensible people still advise turning to doctors to recover from serious illnesses.

Nature provides for self-healing of the body, the film says. The disease cannot exist in a body imbued with positive emotions. You need to imagine your body as absolutely healthy. After all, you become what you think about. And by resisting negativity, you increase it. If you are against war, be for peace. You need to focus on what you want.

There is enough in the world for everyone. Besides, everyone wants different things. Choose what you need, let it in, make it your reality. If you don't like something, ignore it. Think only about the positive and desirable.

Everything in the Universe is energy, the film states. People are not limited to the physical body. People are an energy field, a field of potential. Anything is possible! Live and create life. All the possibilities are in your head!

"Self-fulfilling" wishes
How do successful people think?

Turn dreams into goals!

Today, I would like to raise such a popular and at the same time “annoying” topic - “Don’t dream, but set goals!”
How many times have I had to listen to the instructions of teachers and parents that dreaming is, of course, not harmful. But dreams may never come true, and if you want a decent life, set goals and achieve them.
How many articles, books, opinions I have read about how to set goals correctly! Yes, yes, there is even a technology for writing your goal correctly. And then I understand “GOD!” You see, today the world literally forces us to do EVERYTHING according to the rules! People, let's stop listening to the thoughts of smart people and dream when we want. And if necessary, then set yourself the “right” goals and achieve them?!










































Life is a series of achievements and disappointments. It is impossible to achieve success without making mistakes and experiencing failures. You won’t be able to get to the top without hard work on yourself. Dreams require enormous dedication and iron willpower. There are no people for whom everything came too easily and without effort. Only by taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life will you be able to easily adjust your path and understand how to fulfill your cherished dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem.


You can fulfill your plans only if you clearly understand what you really want. You cannot overcome barriers, break an established way of life, try to break out of the comfort zone created by this point in time, without choosing from the mass of what you like, the most important thing, what can bring joy for many years. All efforts will be wasted if you do not listen to your heart and realize your deepest desires.

Spend a few hours alone with yourself, allow yourself to relax, don’t rush or run. Let your thoughts flow slowly and disappear when they are of no interest. Think only about what will allow you to know yourself better. After several such attempts at self-analysis, you will be surprised to notice how all the alluvial husks disappear. You stop liking what everyone likes; you are absolutely not interested in what your parents, colleagues or girlfriends admire.

And it turns out that either your dreams are what you really need, or what until this moment aroused interest is actually a tribute to fashion or a subconscious desire to please your parents. Depending on what conclusion you come to, you can continue the path further or, having adjusted your desires, begin to look for ways to fulfill them.

It’s hard to decide, then try for a few months to do what interests you now. If after 4 months you still have the desire, then this is what you need. In the same case, when your hobby stops bringing you joy, try something else, and gradually you will find your calling.

A plan for 3 years ahead will also help you determine your priority goals. Imagine what you want to have in 3 years: where to live, who to work with, what kind of personal relationships to have, what to do every day, how to look and in what circles to communicate. Consider all the options and choose the best one. This will allow you to figure out what is needed for this and where it is better to start implementing it today.

Don't rush to get everything at once. When you try to embrace several desires at the same time, you risk quickly getting tired, burnt out, and even disappointed. The path to a dream consists of small steps that allow you to withstand the headwind of problems. Everyone will have their own, but there are always those that always interfere with success.

Never look for reasons why your dream cannot come true. The biggest danger is not the objective difficulties and obstacles that arise immediately as soon as a person begins to change his life, but the low probability that the first step will be taken at all, although it is the most important.


Just before implementing a plan, many do not dare to begin it, succumbing to fear. They find many excuses to delay its execution. Nobody wants to be disappointed in themselves. We have been taught that only winners are worthy of respect, which is why the fear of defeat is so strong that over time the majority comes to the conclusion “No good is sought from goodness” and “It is better to be first in the province than second in the capital.” Forgetting that it’s not about winning or respecting others, but about a person doing what pleases him. Only by doing what you love can you realize yourself and bring great benefit to both yourself and society. Everything else leads to collapse and disappointment.

So, put all doubts aside, you are not fighting with others, but with your fears. And anyone can do this. Moreover, the winner is not the one who got what he wanted, but the one who is able to rise after a fall. When you remember this, many events look completely different.

Despite everything, neither internal uncertainty, nor fatigue, nor objective reasons, take a small step towards your dream, and you will feel the desire to move on, because you were able to do it, and as the famous aphorism says, “The first step is This is half the journey.”


Photo: How to achieve the desired result

Top 9 ways to achieve the desired result

  • Don't rush to choose a path. Decide what you like, not your parents, relatives, friends or others. You cannot succeed in your chosen field if you are completely uninterested in what you have to do. When a person does not have a passion for finance, he will never become a banker, he will only waste his time studying and trying to make a career.
  • Cultivate iron willpower. You can't do without it. It will allow you to discard all interference, eliminate difficulties and doubts, both external and internal, give you energy and force you not to give up when it gets hard. Thanks to it, you will be able to clearly realize that you are following the right course and are ready for anything that does not stand in your way. It will fill you with life-giving energy and self-confidence. Confidence bordering on self-confidence should become the main character traits, otherwise you will be tormented by doubts, both your own and those around you.
  • Eliminate from your circle those who do not believe in your success. Of course, many try to warn about possible problems, but this should happen only when they are asked about it. Besides, criticism and useful suggestions on how to protect yourself are completely different things. When they tell you that nothing will work out for you or they try to prick you during a difficult period, feel free to fight back and don’t waste any more time communicating with such people. Envious people, cowards, pessimists and ill-mannered people are not worthy of your time. They are only trying to hinder you so that you cannot succeed and show them how weak and cowardly they are.
  • When criticism comes from your parents or partner, talk to them and explain how important this is to you and how you need their support. You can’t come to an agreement, they don’t want to hear you, citing completely unnecessary examples of defeats, keep communication to a minimum until you achieve success. Then your parents will be forced to admit that you were right. In the same case, when your partner refuses to help and constantly escalates the situation, you should think about whether this is the man you dreamed of. And is it necessary to ruin your life for him?
  • Having dealt with self-doubt and external interference, begin to draw up a detailed plan. Describe everything that is needed to achieve what you want. Consider possible difficulties and ways to overcome them. Think through the most negative scenario for the development of the event, what it threatens and a way out of it. Then it will become much easier for you to take risks, because people are most afraid of the unknown, and when they know what can happen and how it can harm, it is much easier to move forward. Having experienced this collapse mentally, there is nothing more to fear.
  • Constantly analyze all incoming information, no matter where it comes from. Look for the best way to accomplish your plans. Break a complex task into several stages to save time and experience the taste of victory as quickly as possible. Our brain doesn’t care at all how significant what we do is. The main thing is that it happened.
  • Try not only to read the literature necessary to implement your plans, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. There is nothing more useful than experience.
  • Study how those you like achieved success; you can take something from their lives into your arsenal. And during a difficult period, their difficult path will remind them that they should never despair.
  • Draw strength from within yourself. Success lies in ourselves, and not in how circumstances turn out. He who seeks finds. Life itself helps those who don’t give up achieve what they want.

Photo: How to achieve the desired result

Don’t be afraid to deviate from the plan you once developed, even if you’ve come a long way. The strength of a person lies in his ability to admit mistakes and correct them, and not in the mindless attempt to go the wrong way, trying to please everyone around him. You live for yourself, and not for society, remember this, and then you won’t need to spend too much time figuring out how to achieve what you want.

Do you always want to get what you want? 10 cunning psychological techniques for manipulating people! Let's put it into practice.

Do you think it’s easy to manipulate people?

I am sure that most of you think that it is very difficult.

In the specialized literature, opinions were divided into radically opposite ones:

  • some researchers claim that it is enough to read several books (naturally, the publication of the author himself comes first :)) and voila - you are a cool manipulator;
  • others - that this is practically impossible: in order to instantly get what you want from a person, you need to have remarkable abilities, including hypnosis.

The truth, as always, hides somewhere in the middle: to get what you want, you need to master it perfectly psychological techniques!

So be it... Today, especially for you, I will reveal 10 secrets (I won’t hide it - I use them myself) that will help you faster.

P.S. Naturally, to some they may seem subjective; Naturally, they are not a panacea for all failures; Naturally, they largely depend on the impeccability of your performance and the psychological characteristics of your counterpart, but they really work. All recommendations have been personally verified by me! 😉

10 psychological techniques will help you achieve what you want!

    Start the conversation with a compliment.

    And there is no need to shout about banality here.

    Flattery is a powerful psychological technique that almost always works flawlessly, but there are three caveats:

    • give refined rather than banal compliments;
    • understand what exactly you are praising: if your boss has complexes about being overweight, and you say that in a new dress she resembles a bun, then the result will be exactly the opposite;
    • Don't use this technique too often to avoid being branded as a sycophant.
  1. Make sure that the person from whom you need something owes you a favor.

    For example, you know that the head of the department on which your promotion depends is looking for a rare book for his daughter, who is writing her thesis.

    But your friend’s huge library has just such a book.

    So, you need to persuade your friend and borrow a book from him for your boss.

    You will already have one advantage over your competitors! 😉

    Share the tastes, interests and hobbies of the person you need.

    There is no need to become a Hare Krishna or a vegetarian, just like enrolling in a boxing section or a macrame course.

    It is enough to study the topic well theoretically in order to competently support the conversation.

    This approach is not suitable for everyone.

    People who use it are often called chameleons and disrespected.

    Think about whether you are ready to step on your own throat in order to?

    Ask for the maximum and get exactly what you need.


    This psychological technique is almost identical to bidding: the seller deliberately inflates the price, the buyer lowers it, and they converge on a middle ground that suits both.

    Put the person in such conditions that he himself will offer you help.

    This advice will only work if the person is part of your circle of friends and family, or simply feels uncomfortable turning people down.

    Ask twice for something practically impossible (but only real: there is no need to ask to get the moon from the sky).

    And if you need help in the future, the person who refused you twice will himself offer his services to make amends.

    What's in your name...

    Remember that psychological techniques They only work when you perform them carefully and thoughtfully.

    Most people like their name, so use it repeatedly in conversation, avoiding the pronouns you/you.

    But if the head of your department allows only the director to call himself Aristarkh Benediktovich, and demands that his subordinates call themselves chief or something else, then by remembering his first and patronymic names in a conversation about, you risk achieving a significant reduction in it.

    Get the person interested in your idea.

    For example, you want your wealthy friend to help financially the animal shelter where you work as a volunteer.

    You know she loves animals, but doesn't like to share money.

    Show her cute kittens and funny puppies, tell her a heart-warming story about how today there was no money to buy them food.

    Before you know it, she will donate a tidy sum, and maybe even join your noble movement.

    Criticism - fight!


    For example, let's say you are working on a joint project with your colleague.

    Even if the ideas he proposes are far from perfect, then by openly ridiculing and criticizing him, you will run into a scandal and lead to the collapse of cooperation.

    It’s better to act more softly: “Your idea is not bad, but maybe we’ll try to do a little something like this...”

    Tired and sleep-deprived people are more easily suggestible.

    Again, look at the character traits of your counterpart.

    If you know that after a hard day at work, your wife becomes angry and generally doesn’t like you to touch her, then you shouldn’t ask to go fishing on that particular day.

    You risk saying goodbye to spinning altogether! (..this is true, a note to the male gender...) 😉

    I am Kivan-Pokivan...

    Among psychological techniques, not the least place belongs to this one.

    Remember, if you agree with what a person is saying, you automatically nod, right?

    This scheme also works inverted.

    By constantly nodding and listening to your interlocutor, you automatically program him to agree.

Perhaps off-topic, but still...I couldn’t ignore this video!

Effective and interesting psychological techniques are provided,

which will help in the fight against sweets! 🙂

…the video is dedicated to all those with a sweet tooth (and I’m in your ranks too)!


And finally: remember that psychological techniques in themselves - nothing!

They only work if you use them at the right time, in the right situation and with a psychologically ready person.

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Every person can achieve what you want wealth, success, happiness and anything else if it starts to act. The problem is mainly fear and uncertainty, since a person is afraid to take the first step, to make a mistake and does not know specifically whether he needs this wish. In this article, psychologists have written in detail for you all the methods and specific proven methods that will 100% lead you to the realization of your desire. Use it too achieve what you want, quite simple and fast.

Decide what you really want

The reason why 99% of people today are unhappy and not successful is that they cannot specifically understand what they want. Most of the time, people look for excuses and how to avoid doing anything. But to be rich, happy and successful, you need not only to wish, but also to do. Therefore, write on a piece of paper, right now, a list of all your desires, review it and decide which desire is the most important for you.

Make an action plan

In fact, achieve what you want easy and simple, for this you need to draw up a specific plan according to which you will act every day in order to achieve your desired goal within a specific time frame. First, write on a piece of paper what you need to make your desire come true. After that, write down what you can do daily to make your wish come true.

Do at least something every day that will bring you closer to your desired desire

The most important thing is not just to draw up an action plan, it is important to do what you need every day to realize what you want. Make a schedule or whatever so you can do something you want to do on a regular basis.

Adapt to your desire

To quickly and easily achieve what you want, you need to adapt to your goal, live it and rejoice. Do now what you would do if you achieved what you want, change yourself before and then the desire will come true, since there will be no other way out for it.

Set a specific date to achieve what you want

From a psychological point of view, for effective and quick realization of what you want It’s the date you set that influences it. Decide for yourself how long it will take you to achieve your desire, and start acting. This date should always and daily be visible to your eye, this will stimulate every person.

How to achieve what you want with the power of thought

In fact, scientists have long proven that our every thought is material, but only under the condition that we constantly think about it. When a person concentrates from childhood, for example, on wealth and money, then sooner or later he will become rich. It will also be useful for you to start concentrating on your desire for 5-10 minutes every day. It is important to do this daily, otherwise your thoughts will scatter and become meaningless. The reason why people are unhappy and poor is that they scatter their thoughts on what they do not need, they have not learned to concentrate on one desire.

Do meditation, calm down

There has never been a single person who had a nervous and angry character and achieved the desire. Mostly calm and balanced people achieve their desires with the help of calmness, perseverance and action, since they realized that nerves and strength cannot achieve anything, except perhaps poor health. Therefore, you need to calm yours down and start thinking and acting towards a given goal. Look into the future and imagine how you realized your dream, desire, goal, how happy you are from this, then this will significantly speed up the process of implementation.

Define Goals

If you don't build your life yourself, circumstances will do it for you. You will have to work hard at something, sacrifice something, invest your money and put in effort to get the results you expect. Determine your goals in life. You can't start planning your life until you decide on the results you want.

You are the sculptor of your own destiny. Look around, are there people around you who have already achieved the results you planned for yourself? Take a closer look - their experience can be very useful to you. Start any time, right today, now, and stand your ground. Don't worry about what others think about your abilities. Believe in yourself and your strength. Have the confidence to challenge your problems. This is your life, live every day to the fullest.

Write down your goals on paper. Only three percent of all people set their goals on paper and only one percent review them daily. Be one of them. Often imagine the result of your plans. Goals are dreams with a specific completion date. You will see how you yourself grow depending on the size of your chosen goals. Think big.

Divide and Conquer

Break a large task into a number of small ones and start taking action. At first, don't be too concerned about how your goals will be achieved. The means of achievement will appear over time if you are patient, committed and persistent in your search. The answers will come when you take action. Your plans will turn into a series of focused actions, which in turn will become “To Do” list items in your diary. Follow this list every day in your actions. You will achieve your goals and ultimately realize your plans.

Define Your Personal Objective

Write down for yourself on paper in detail what you want to achieve in life. Who are you? What are your life values? How do you want to use the time allotted to you so that “the years spent aimlessly were not excruciatingly painful”? God aside, you are the one who determines your future. Don't listen to those who say you are too old, too young, too poor, too unattractive, too uneducated, or the wrong color, gender, or nationality.

If you read inspirational lines in other books, magazines or newspapers, write them down in a notebook or save a clipping. Keep everything in a separate folder or box. This will serve as a motivational reserve for you and will help you determine your own goal in life.

Your problem statement should only contain a few sentences or paragraphs. Check this definition periodically and don't be afraid to change it as you grow in life. It will help you establish a framework on which you will form your dreams and goals, and from which your daily “To Do” list will be completed.

Focus on Your Priorities

Of course, you could do a million different things at the same time, but you only need to choose one to start with. What is the most important and urgent thing you need to do today, this week or this year? This is your priority. As a rule, such cases require the immediate completion of a number of critical tasks. Separate the important from the urgent, and make time for both. What should you do? What should you do? What would you like to do?

If you don't prioritize the activities of any given day, everything will seem equally important. Whether you manage to finish any planned task or not may not matter much. You want some important things to be completed and not to be forgotten about them. Create your “To Do” list on a daily basis. Prioritize all of its items. When at the end of the day you see that all the important tasks are completed, you will feel much better.

Don't Complicate Your Problems

Don't complicate your own life. Think before you act. First, look for simple solutions and answers to your questions. Make sure you fully understand the task or problem before you begin solving it. How much time do you expect to spend on solving it and how high is the standard expected of you in achieving it? Check yourself again for the effectiveness of your work. Do you spend all your time doing just one task? Is the result worth the time you spend? Can the task be delegated to someone else without risk? If someone else is already working on your problem, is this the right person to solve it successfully? Your search for a solution, your time spent, your contribution to the team, and your prioritized “To Do” list should all help. Give up unnecessary and unnecessary things. Even the philosophy underlying these Principles of Action is expressed very simply. Constantly improve yourself and help others do the same.

Write Your Thoughts on Paper

Always carry a notebook, electronic notepad, or small laptop computer with you. As a last resort, you can use a napkin for urgent writing. As you become an action-oriented person, helpful thoughts will come with increasing regularity. Write down your ideas. Since you will have a large number of new ideas, there will definitely be many good and useful ones among them. Review your notes every day before going to bed. You will become your own therapist. You will see ways to solve your problems, find your own path to happiness and fulfillment of your dreams. Spend more time thinking about solutions rather than problems. Write down your thoughts.

Don't be afraid to take risks

Be prepared. There's no better time to take action than right now. However, you must be confident in your readiness and the correctness of your decision. Don't let your indecision get in your way. You realize that the time has come when you must act. If you hesitate too long, even small doubts about success will turn into fear of failure. Yes, you may stumble along the way. Yes, you may face rejection. Yes, you can fail. This is life. Winners in this life understand that in the further process of working on themselves, they will probably have to change their style and even start over. The difference between successful people and others is not that the former never make mistakes or never fail, but in how they react to temporary difficulties.

Many people look for guarantees before taking action. Moreover, in search of guarantees, they often find imaginary dangers, which can later be easily used as an excuse for inaction. Remember that those who love you most will be the loudest to discourage you from making risky decisions.

Be Standing

To be tenacious means that you are determined to endure and win. Even though your brain and body are sending signals of danger, you continue to act. This definition of resilience is obvious. But there is resilience, examples of which you and I see around us every day. This includes a cancer patient undergoing treatment, a mother raising her children alone, an alcoholic in rehabilitation, and an athlete living in a wheelchair. A resilient person will reject flattery and accept you and your children for who you are. He will be able to highlight only the best of what fate has given him. A persistent person will be able to replace self-pity, complaints about life and dependence on chance, with self-confidence, independence and readiness for action. You have to be resilient for big things like taking risks, admitting your mistakes, and breaking bad habits. You must be persistent for such small things as suppressing frustration, waiting in line, fighting other people's stupidity. Confidence in yourself and your abilities will require great perseverance from you. And then, you will have to learn to combine toughness with kindness, realizing that in many cases it is quite difficult to remain a kind person. And yet remain one.

Lead with Your Example

Start acting like the person you want to be - with a strong character and a good reputation. Your speech and demeanor, clothing and posture, attitude to life and actions - everything should become an expression of your strong character. In modern society, people are greatly influenced by everything they hear and see around them. People need cues to distinguish good from bad, set priorities, and make decisions. In various situations of everyday life, you yourself tell the people around you how they should perceive you. If you speak well, dress smart, smile often, work hard and don't complain about anything, you will make the best impression on people. Never demand from others what you would never do yourself. You must always be fair, firm, friendly and reliable. If you must correct someone's mistakes, do so in confidence. You will succeed as a leader when your team performs as well in your absence as it did under your direct leadership. Always look for heroes around you to admire and emulate. Adopt their style of action. And then lead by example.

Keep Conflicts Under Control

Always remain calm and impartial. Let others rage while you think of an appropriate response. Should you persuade, agree, apologize, continue the argument, or walk away? What benefits you and those you protect? Continuing the argument often makes your opponents argue even more furiously and strive harder, no matter what, to defeat you in the argument. Don't let your rage flare up. This will only complicate the problem and involve you in an intense and fruitless conflict. Whenever possible, use kindness as a weapon against evil. Neutralize harsh shouting with soft words. Respond to threats with serene confidence. Keep it simple. Do not use profanity or sarcasm. Breathe deeply and freely. Let the anger go. Don't exaggerate. Don't lie. Attack the subject of the dispute, not the person arguing.

Long-term good relationships are almost always more important than short-term problems. Become an active peacemaker, build bridges of mutual understanding.

COPYRIGHT 2003 © The Elitarium Project



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