A broken heart is a difficult but necessary experience. We are growing with this. We learn to survive this way. It also means that life goes on.
There is probably not a single person in the world whose heart has not been broken. But you know, it makes us stronger. Of course, when your heart is broken, no one thinks that way. The pain of parting kills all feelings, causing only the desire to go back to the moment the breakup occurred. Bring back everything that was good between both of them.
But life goes on as usual, and over time, feelings of regret and hatred go away. It gets easier. And better. And you can even thank someone you couldn’t imagine life without before for the experience you’ve had. A broken heart is a difficult but necessary experience. We are growing with this. We learn to survive this way. It also means that life goes on.
Sometimes we become so focused on sadness and loneliness, which are essential to difficult times, that we forget to say thank you for who we have become: better, stronger, more confident.
5 reasons to be grateful
1. For the lesson that life goes on
When your heart is broken into a million pieces by someone you trusted, your world falls apart. Everything freezes, you are plunged into darkness and loneliness. Days, months, even years pass, and you realize that time does not stand still. You go to bed, wake up - a new day begins. With each new day, you begin to become more and more the person you were before you met the person to whom you gave your heart.
A broken heart teaches you that life doesn't have to stop just because you're hurt. Your friends are always there for you, your family is always there for you. And there are still so many different days ahead.
2. For becoming stronger
A broken heart is an emotional state, but we feel it physically. Do you agree? It feels like someone actually ripped our heart out of our chest and smashed it against the wall. You feel empty on the inside, but on the outside you are surrounded by reminders of how happy you were. This is a kind of manifestation of weakness that takes over you completely. It's like darkness has swallowed you up and you can't see a way out. Then something changes, and the way out appears on its own. And in this magical, wonderful moment you realize that you are a damn strong person. One person cannot destroy you. You are strong enough to take all this bitterness and deal with it.
3. For the lesson that you will still meet the love of your life
What hurts most when your heart is broken? The feeling that “the one and only” person has left. The realization that what is sung about in songs and what films are made about has slipped out of our hands. And the fear that this will never happen again. The last thing you expect is to meet anyone else. But it happens. And then you realize that while you considered that person “the one,” there was another person who was waiting for you somewhere along the path of life, and he is now the “one.”
4. For raising your bar higher
Love is patience. Love is kindness. Love is absolutely blind. So blind that you can close your eyes to betrayals, scandals, insults - after all, it’s all out of love. Love can be so blind that it plunges everything into darkness. But when you no longer love a person, you see the light. You see your relationship exactly as it really was. It is not necessary that you were cheated on or humiliated, but from the outside it becomes clearer what was missing in this relationship.
Now you know exactly what you deserve. You have learned this. And this time your “love vision” will not let you down.
5. For the time you spent together
A broken heart is the result of true love. This is difficult to accept, especially when the soul is still torn from pain and sadness. But when the emotions subside and the pain dulls, that love will become so distant for you that it will be difficult to believe in its reality. It's like an unpleasant dream that you sometimes remember for unknown reasons.
But all this happened. And there is a person who broke your heart. For this I thank him. published
When you start a new relationship, you need to be attentive to the little things. You may be blinded by her attractiveness, your feelings, and even the simple fact that you will have a chance to sleep with her. There are warning signs that she will break your heart and the relationship is doomed from the start.
When a relationship is destined to be short and destined to fail, it makes sense to be selective and end it before too much time has passed and you've spent too much energy on it. For your own sake, we advise you to pay attention to the warning signs.
1. She has no old friends
This girl is a real social chameleon, drifting from one interesting social group to another. She constantly makes new friends. Sounds cool?
Yes, probably, but you won't be around her long enough to know for sure. If she doesn't have regular friends whom she's known for years, it could mean two things: either no one can stand her, or she can't cope without constant change. Both of these reasons make a serious relationship impossible, and sooner or later she will break your heart.
9. She's new to relationships.
If you're looking for a serious relationship, dating a girl who hasn't dated before is not the best choice. She may be much younger than you or simply inexperienced - if you have different experiences, you will not last long together.
At first, all this naivety of hers will seem sweet to you, but soon it will begin to irritate you. Despite all the benefits of dating someone who has no emotional baggage, she may not know what she expects from a man. There is a chance that it is not you that she wants, and this is a sure sign that your heart will be broken.
3. She needs a lot of space
She is a freedom-loving person and does not like to be limited. When you start dating her, she will definitely tell you that she needs a lot of space to do her thing. She sets her own boundaries: how much time she will spend with you and how much time she will spend alone. If you find the strength to get used to it, it can still work out, right?
There is no need to indulge yourself with illusions. Anyone who values their personal time and space so much does not really consider others. You will see her once a week and that will be normal for her, but in the end she will break your heart.
4. She's been playing hard to get for too long.
You followed her around for months, and she kept playing cat and mouse with you. You gave her flowers, asked her out on dates, made various romantic gestures. She finally agreed to meet with you, and that means everything worked out, right?
But no. If she plays hard to get, it means that she is simply not interested in you. She just wanted to stroke her ego, and she agreed to be in the company of a man who doted on her. When her self-esteem returns to normal, she won't need you anymore and she will break your heart.
5. She has her head in the clouds
Some people are never happy with what they have. They have high standards and aspirations, and this is attractive, but if she has some unrealistically high expectations, then your chances are ridiculously low. It could be anything: money, fame, a new life or a perfect relationship - she can dream of any thing and at the same time she will definitely break your heart if she comes across an option that is more similar to her dream.
6. She's shy about you
Meeting your girlfriend’s friends and family is an experience, it’s like being shot in the leg: it’s painful and painful, and those around you think that you’re not really suffering because the wound is not fatal. After all, you're dating her, not her family. Why is this introduction so important?
Again, why doesn't she introduce you to them? We've all been through it, we've all had girlfriends that we didn't want to introduce to our friends and family, and they remained our invisible friends. Why? For various reasons: sometimes fat, sometimes scary, sometimes abnormal.
7. She doesn't have a particularly significant ex.
Dating a girl who has never been in a serious relationship seems like a great prospect: she doesn't expect you to meet her standards of true love, and you don't worry about her suddenly being drawn to your old life. She is a blank canvas that you can turn into the perfect girlfriend for you.
However, a girl whose relationship resume consists of only two-week flings is not for you. Perhaps she has her own reasons for not dating anyone seriously: she doesn't want to. And you can hardly force her to change this opinion.
8. She has serious problems
Everyone has their own cockroaches. No one is perfect, everyone has flaws that need to be worked on. However, there are some people who are more like a walking problem than a person.
These could be problems with alcohol, drugs, sex, loneliness or gambling. If there is something in her life that constantly puts you in the background, this relationship will not last long. This may sound pompous, but you deserve something better than always being on the sidelines.
9. She has a close relationship with her ex.
In case your girlfriend is able to maintain good relations with her exes, this may seem like a good thing. This seems to hint: she is a mature person and does not turn breakups into a performance. After all, you know that under no circumstances will she turn into a demon if you fail.
In reality, this is a sign that she will only bring you harm. This girl easily switches between lover and friend modes. This fact means that she is not able to create strong relationships.
10. She had someone when you met
You started being together when she met another guy. You might be thinking, “Okay, this is a little wrong, but things will get better now.” No, nothing will work out with a girl like that. Cheating is always cheating.
When she starts telling you something every day about the new guy from work, when she constantly lingers at the bar with her friends, when she wants a little more time for herself, this may mean that a replacement has already been found for you. Can you already feel your heart beating to pieces?
And finally
We all know very well that many relationships end in nothing and do not stand the test of time. There is no point in sitting and waiting by the sea for weather. If you look at this list and realize that one of the items applies to your girlfriend, you might have something to think about.
“Time, of course, will not erase him from your memory, but his image there will no longer be so beautiful.” Christina, 28 years old
“Pain cannot last forever. One day you just realize that she is no longer there.” Casey, 27 years old
“Don’t let people come back into your life so easily, letting them into your heart again. A truly loving person would not have left in the first place.” Hannah, 25 years old
"He may leave, but you don't have to wait for him to return." Katerina, 26 years old
“You are worthy of love. And don’t let any asshole convince you otherwise.” Natalia, 25 years old
“Understand who you were before him and who you will become after him. You will grow up, start all over again, blossom and understand that this page of your life, of course, defines you, but it is not the last.” Madison, 28 years old
“Pain cannot be avoided; it is the natural accompaniment of a broken heart. But it is this experience that will help you know yourself better.” Amy, 27 years old
“You have the right to feel pain, even if your feelings were never reciprocated.” Analisa, 26 years old
“Don’t forget that there is no ‘one and only’. If we had only one shot at happiness, we would all be stroking our personal arctic foxes long ago. Don't think he's the only one you can love when you're only 22. There will be someone else. There will always be someone.” Megan, 27 years old
“No matter what you think now, he is not the only person who can give you these feelings.” Beatrice, 27 years old
“The consequences of a breakup sometimes take longer to deal with than the relationship itself lasted, but I promise that this too will end. I promise that you will still be happy." Rachel, 29 years old
“There will be a better relationship in your future and someone who truly deserves you. You just have to pull yourself together and let go of the past.” Hayley, 28 years old
“Don’t compare yourself to his new girls. You're not them, no comparison will change you, and thank God, because you're fucking gorgeous." Ava, 30 years old
“One day you will understand that it was his departure that led you to true happiness.” Grace, 27 years old
“There are so many things you would like to say to him now, but then you will realize that nothing you say will change him or the way he treated you.” Alison, 26 years old
“The earth still revolves around the sun, so...” Penny, 26
“It took you exactly 58 days to get over this! And it wasn’t that cool with him! Pfft." Claire, 25 years old
“Don't waste money just because you're bored. Better sleep." Morgan, 25 years old
“Some mornings you will feel like everything reminds you of him and that you will never be able to get over it. But you can. Days will pass and you will wake up without thoughts of him in your head.” Dana, 26 years old
“Value your time, don’t waste your time on people who don’t deserve it. You cannot change a person, even if you think it would be for the better. Loving a person despite how he treats you is a sign of weakness, not strength.” Kay, 24 years old
“If he didn’t love you the way you deserve, then you really are better off without him.” Paula, 29 years old
“Just because you started sleeping with other people doesn't mean you've let go of the past. This doesn’t prove anything to others either.” Nessa, 30 years old
“There is no specific time it takes to get over a breakup. Just don't think about it." Joe, 28 years old
“Don’t forget to eat before you finish that bottle of wine, otherwise your toilet will be in trouble and you’ll probably never get your deposit back.” Stacey, 27 years old
“Don't stop just because something went wrong. Smile, breathe, laugh, cry, just live.” Rene, 30 years old
“Sex with random people won’t help you forget him, but it will make you feel more lonely.” Bree, 24 years old
“Believe when they tell you that everything will be fine. Because that's how it will be." Jess, 27 years old
“You won’t understand what it means to “let go” until you actually do it. In other words, don't let him keep you stuck in the past. Step over it." Chloe, 27 years old
“We are all human. It's normal to experience bad emotions. Even when it feels like your heart is being torn to pieces." Olivia, 26 years old
“Not all people with the same name are ugly. They just have the same name as that freak who hurt you.” Emily, 24 years old
“No matter how you try to distract yourself with work, you will still get hurt. And that's okay." Laney, 27 years old
“As much as it hurts to hear him say you deserve better, he’s right.” Nadiya, 25
Each of us happens to encounter misunderstanding, deception or even betrayal of loved ones. People react to things differently, but what do you do if you've had your heart broken and it seems like the world around you will never be the same? Read on to find the strength to resist what is happening.
In most cases, those who experience a breakup or betrayal, those who feel that their heart has been broken into small pieces, plunge into deep depression. A person sits at home for several days or several weeks. He tries to communicate with friends or acquaintances as little as possible, not to mention gathering the will to move on in life. In fact, all this is completely wrong and useless tactics. You should behave completely differently, although at first it will take a lot of effort to start doing exactly that.
It is also worth considering that each of us has our own reserve of strength and strength: someone, believing that his heart is broken, can lie on the bed, wrapped in a warm blanket for a week, while for others, even a few hours are enough to get back together and start learning to trust the world again.
There is nothing wrong with a broken-hearted person feeling sorry for himself. You may be left alone for a day or two, bursting into tears. Now is not the time to think logically, especially when all you can think about in your head is how crap your ex is. Ok, give yourself time to be sad, but don’t get carried away with this process. Your broken heart may be bursting with pain and tears, but don't let negative emotions take over you for long. Cry for two days, and then tell yourself – life goes on!
Listen to songs about love and breakups when you've had your heart broken.
Listen to sad songs about love and broken hearts
What to do if your heart is broken? Realize that you are not alone in experiencing a similar situation. 100,500+ songs, poems and paintings have already been written about this. At a time when old relationships are destroyed, broken, and love is dead, it’s time to listen and watch such works. It's a good accompaniment for the time you spend crying on your couch.
Reevaluate Your Initial Choice When Your Heart Is Broken
Think about it, maybe your broken heart is the result of a not very good choice? Maybe the wrong person was next to you? Finally, maybe somehow you can improve everything if you talk to your partner calmly, like adults, without tears and screams?
In the heat of a quarrel and with the height of emotions, no one cares what the other says, and even more so no one delves into what is said. One and the other side just want to prick each other as painfully as possible and win the fight.
If there are no options for reconciliation, then continue to analyze: maybe your boyfriend was constantly deceiving you and cheating on you? Maybe his appearance is not as impeccable as you thought at the very beginning? Then it’s time to face the harsh reality, and not hide behind the image of your ex-partner that you created. When you've had your heart broken, it's time to stay away from the person who did it!
Think about how well you made the right choice. Go to the hairdresser for a new look
Every time a relationship ends, the best way for a girl is to leave her old image with the old relationship. Changing your hairstyle is much easier than getting or removing a tattoo (by the way, a new hairstyle doesn’t look crazy at all, unlike a tattoo with the name of your next partner).
A new hairstyle and new makeup will help you refresh your appearance and take a fresh look at the world around you.
Your broken heart may still hurt, your eyes may still be puffy from crying all night, but working on a new look can sometimes do wonders for changing your outlook on your own life. By the way, you can try to do a hairstyle or makeup that your ex would definitely not like (if you know what exactly to do). It's time to listen to your desires, and not live up to someone else's expectations!
Do what you love to pick up the pieces of a broken heart
A common mistake many women make is to become so deeply immersed in a relationship that we become slaves to men, forgetting what we really love and value ourselves.
You will definitely have a new relationship, just don’t make this mistake again: don’t try to live only in the interests of your partner, forgetting about your own. The period when you think that your heart is broken is the best time to review your own behavioral scenarios in relationships and understand what really makes you happy.
If you get your heart broken, just leave the house!
It's not about going out with someone. You may not be ready for this kind of commitment just yet, even if it's just a one-time date. Your heart is too wounded, there are too many negative emotions inside you. Too much for now. Instead, you can go hang out with your friends, have fun at the club, allow yourself a couple of drinks or dance until you drop. Finally, you can even go to a cafe in splendid isolation or meet with friends whom you haven’t seen for a long time because you were “building relationships.” It's important to just get out of the house and allow yourself to have fun again.
New dates will be useful
If, now that you're reanimating your broken heart, you think that constantly dating one person will be too much for you, you can spice up your life by going on dates with different people.
The end of a relationship is not only a broken heart, it is new opportunities that can be used by moving in the company of eligible bachelors to find “your person” there. If you feel empowered, feel free to accept invitations to dates, but respond only to those that you really like. Try to learn to live with pleasure again!
Find out who you really like
Yes, we know, you dated a guy for some time, and you even thought that everything was fine with you, and that it would be even better. It ended in depression and heartbreak. Right now you are still shocked and heartbroken. At the same time, you are still drawn to your ex.
Perhaps this particular guy was not what you were looking for, but this is the type of man you are attracted to. All you need to do is find someone of the same type, make sure that you have common interests or similar hobbies. It is only important that the new partner is similar to your ex only in some external signs. In fact, it must be a completely different person. Or look for a completely different man, from his appearance to his attitude towards life and towards you.
If suddenly it doesn’t work out, go back to the previous point and accept the invitation to a new date!
Irina Mozharkova, practicing psychologist
Other useful articles:
How to win a Taurus man and win his heart
After breaking up with your soulmate, a person is left with only a broken heart. What to do in this situation and how to find a way out of it? Psychologists answer these and other questions. They also give advice on how to stop blaming yourself for everything.
When a person's heart is broken, he feels humiliated and insulted. Many people cannot cope with their feelings and fall into severe depression.
Psychologists consider it very important to get out of this situation with dignity and learn to learn from the mistakes you have made. The first thing you need to do is try to calm down and stop being sad, blaming yourself for everything, or hating your ex-other half. As a rule, this does not lead to anything good.
In order to quickly return to normal life, a person needs someone to be constantly nearby. You shouldn't sit alone and suffer. You can move in with relatives for a while or just see friends more often. Loneliness and boredom provoke the onset of depression. IN in this case you can just go somewhere to relax, change the environment, take a break from everyday affairs. You can take a vacation from work and visit an inexpensive resort on a last-minute package. Experts assure that a change of environment is the best medicine. It’s better to go on vacation not by yourself, but with a loved one. This could be one of your relatives, or a friend or girlfriend.
Don't try to pretend that nothing bad happened. Sometimes it can be very useful to talk things out. Immediately after a breakup, you shouldn’t look for someone to blame at all. Later, when feelings have cooled down a little, you need to try to adequately assess your behavior and the behavior of your former significant other. Perhaps both sides are to blame in this situation. Experts say that, most often, this is exactly what happens. People break up because they are completely unsuitable for each other.
Sometimes a person may not even suspect that he himself provoked his lover to betrayal. The reason for this may be an incorrect attitude towards a partner, mistakes made during communication.
After parting, it is important to analyze this and understand what both participants in the union were wrong about. This will allow a person to look more optimistically into the future. After all, now he can be sure that if he does not repeat his mistake, nothing like this will happen to him again.
The first time after the collapse of a relationship, you must definitely find something you like. It may be a hobby that a person has been doing for a long time, but it is better to discover something new. By doing something interesting, a person will have the opportunity to forget about his problems for a while. In addition, new interests will attract new acquaintances into his life. You should not immediately try to build a relationship with someone if you feel that old feelings have not yet cooled down. This will only bring pain and disappointment. At first, it’s better to just communicate with people of the opposite sex. Everything must develop gradually.
Don't blame your ex for everything. It is better to try to understand the person and forgive him, thus letting go of the unpleasant situation. This will help you enter a new life without anger towards the whole world. To make it easier to cope with a breakup, you can seek advice from a psychologist. In most cases this helps a lot. Don't think that life ends here. You should take what happened as a good life lesson, and think that true love awaits ahead, which will not end so sadly.
When asked how to live with a broken heart, psychologists clearly answer that a person needs to abstract himself from his problem and start life anew. At the same time, you should definitely take into account all the mistakes made in the past so as not to repeat them again.
When a person's heart is broken, he does not need to blame himself or, conversely, his ex-other half for everything. This will only lead to low self-esteem or anger towards all members of the opposite sex. You just need to enter a new life, but at the same time take into account all the mistakes made in the past.
