Everyone knows that the foundations of a person’s self-esteem are laid in early childhood. Family relationships, conflicts between parents, frequent quarrels - all this affects a person and his ability to accept himself in the future.
All people have different psychological stability. And, if someone’s problems in the family have not led to the fact that a person cannot accept and love himself, then a less stable and vulnerable person cannot boast that everything is fine with his self-esteem. And all his life he is haunted by the thought that he is somehow bad and does not deserve to be happy. The attitudes acquired in childhood still apply to him and are very difficult to fight, because they are perceived as familiar to a person.
What does it mean to respect yourself
Self-respect begins when a person stops blaming himself for everything. He stops engaging in constant introspection and self-examination, which do not help him analyze his mistakes, but, on the contrary, open up more and more reasons for him to find reasons why he cannot be loved and accepted for who he is.
Respecting and valuing yourself as a person means thinking first of all about your interests. You shouldn’t be afraid to look like an egoist; healthy egoism has never hurt anyone. You need to be able to say “no” to people when other people’s requests infringe on your own interests.
Most often, people who do not value themselves are afraid to refuse to help others, because they are afraid of being rejected. It seems to them that their main value as a friend or partner, or simply as a person, is to earn the love of others, forgetting about their own aspirations. Such people begin to be consumed by a feeling of guilt and fear that after refusal, everyone will turn away from them. But in order to learn to value yourself, you need to try to confront your fears, work to achieve your own goals and true desires.
Self-respect is accepting yourself for who you really are, and not trying to follow the lead of others just to please them. To be a healthy, self-confident person, to feel your integrity and value primarily for yourself, and not try to prove it to the world around you.
To adequately evaluate yourself, you first need to make a list of your pros and cons. You can write down any little things, including: “riding a bicycle,” “knowledge of languages,” “ability to add numbers without a calculator,” etc. When the list is ready, calculate what is more - pros or cons?
Don't beat yourself up or focus on your negative qualities. Objectively analyze them and decide which negative qualities you want to get rid of, and what needs to be done for this.
Every day, note how much good there is in you, what you have achieved (in a day, week or month) and write it down in your diary, even the smallest victories are necessary to begin to respect yourself. You read a book with poems to your child, cooked a delicious lunch for your husband, became the soul of the team at work - write it down. As the Chinese proverb says:
Always look at the bright side of things, and if there are none, rub the dark ones until they shine.
It is important to learn to celebrate your achievements, and not just praise your personality, without even engaging in self-development. Otherwise it will lead to narcissism
Find time that is just for you. Do something you love that brings you pleasure. Engage in self-improvement, sign up for a gym, your well-being is also influenced by good physical shape, if you like what you see in the mirror every day, then you are already halfway to learning to get along with yourself and accept yourself.
Women, more often than men, are faced with the question of how to learn to value themselves. A woman’s whole world is focused on her family, her husband, her children, and often there is no time left for herself. This is where problems with your man arise. He no longer sees you as the woman he once loved. You have dissolved in him and his interests are more important to you than your own. But for a woman this is the most important thing - to learn to value herself in a relationship. Since without this you will not have a harmonious relationship, you will always feel disadvantaged.
A woman can and should be a little selfish towards her man. It is he who should conquer you, not you. And as long as all you do is try your best to please him, you will never learn to value yourself as a woman. Don’t be afraid to set aside a day for yourself to take a relaxing bath, get yourself in order, and focus only on yourself and your loved one. It is very important for a woman to feel beautiful, and if a woman feels like that, then it is impossible to say that she does not respect and value herself.
A man has always been and will be a breadwinner. The responsibility for providing and protecting his family rests on his shoulders. Therefore, if a man has a feeling of inferiority, then, most likely, he simply could not realize himself in this.
No matter how acute the issue of gender equality is in the modern world, no one can change the fact that a woman’s role will always be to preserve the home, and a man will always be to protect and provide his woman and his home with everything necessary. Therefore, the only way that exists for a man to respect himself is to pursue his career and achieve professional success. Make your woman happy, because she is a reflection of everything you have achieved.
It's time to learn to recognize and appreciate yourself for everything you have achieved today, throughout the year, and in life. Can you remember your successes over the past month, as well as your mistakes and failures?
Many people underestimate what they do every day. However, they can remember in detail all their mistakes and what they failed to do. This is because the brain remembers events more easily when they are accompanied by strong emotions. You can remember your graduation, entering university, how you lost 15 kg, received an award. But will you remember?
- How did you talk for a long time with your spouse,
- How did you spend quality time with your child?
- How did you complete your entire to-do list for the day?
- How well did you take a nap?
If you don't acknowledge your successes the same way you acknowledge your mistakes, you can be sure that your memory will be full of errors. How to learn to love yourself?
Recognize your success. Be proud of your successes and don't wait for someone else to praise you! If you only remember mistakes and failures, you won't be able to take the risks that will lead you to success.
Strengthen your self-esteem by remembering everything you have done well and in which you have succeeded. And your brain will strengthen the associative connections that your achievements happen again and again. Find time to write down your achievements throughout your life. Start from when you were very young and remember all your achievements since then. Write down not only the big achievements, write down everything that you take for granted.
You can also write down your progress each day in a planner, notebook, or notepad. And look into it when you encounter a new problem. By writing down all your achievements every day, you store them in your memory. They will become part of what drives you towards your goals.
Surround yourself with reminders of your success. Put photos, articles, prizes, awards, anything that reminds you of your achievements and successes in a prominent place. Be proud of them! People like to be surrounded by people who have healthy self-esteem and achieve their goals. By recognizing achievements, your brain will tell you: “You can do anything!”
Where it all begins
August. Last night we looked at the starry sky... The Milky Way is mesmerizing, and it is difficult to compare the depth of Space and its own size. It seems that you are lost in this bottomlessness of the Universe.
This is how we most often live in our lives: with this feeling of our own smallness, insignificance and with the thought that “I cannot do something great and important since I am so small.” Spiritual Teachers tell us about the equivalence of Big and Small, but how difficult it is to wrap your head around it! Moreover, this childhood experience and the experience of one’s own smallness and unimportance - again about the same thing!
Therefore, the greatest resource for our development is precisely in overcoming this illusion of our insignificance and lack of influence. It is there that all the “treasures of the world” are hidden; it is in the development of our own value and importance that our path to self-realization and achieving our Dream lies.
It is important to cultivate self-worth from childhood
The importance of developing high self-esteem in a child cannot be overstated. When parents support their child, respect him and love him unconditionally (no matter what he does or doesn't do), they help him feel important, and then achieve the most amazing things in life!
But in order to be such a parent, you need to learn to value yourself. It is impossible to pass on to a child what you yourself do not have!
How often do parents, out of a desire to compensate for the feeling of their insignificance and unfulfillment, strive to make their child a “star”. But everything we do out of compensation has no basis and does not bring the results we dream of! It's like building a house without a foundation.
Therefore, let’s talk about the “foundation”, that is, about our self-esteem, about our value in this world.
First ask yourself a few questions:
- Do you know how to adequately and painlessly perceive the influence of the world around you?
- How good are you at collaborating with other people?
- Can you say no when necessary?
- Do you know how to take care of yourself? And do you do this regularly?
- Do you see yourself making a difference to other people? Do you feel the value of your life?
If you often notice your painful reaction to the attitudes and behavior of others, then this is the first sign of low self-esteem. This means that you perceive everything through the prism of childhood painful reactions and unlived feelings.
Comparisons with others
For example, your parents often (with the best intentions, of course) criticized you and compared you with others. You always felt worse than someone else and, therefore, believed that you were unworthy of love and respect. No matter how much you did and tried, it was not enough for the love and attention of your parents.
Then you might decide that there is no point in trying! Or you decided to go ahead and prove to everyone that you are worthy of respect and love!
In the second case, a person spends all his energy on proving his importance. BUT! There is constant pain inside from the knowledge that “everything is useless”!
My client, 45 years old, has achieved career growth and occupies a high leadership position. She raised two wonderful children, alone.
And she has such pain inside because there is a lot in life that she herself has created, but she doesn’t have the most important thing: the feeling that you are loved and important to your partner! There are no loving, sincere and trusting relationships in her life!
There is a lot of pain from misunderstanding of loved ones! And this pain comes from childhood, when her parents demanded only the best results from her, and everything else was unimportant to them!
Most often, it is the sphere of partnerships that has to be sacrificed in order to achieve social heights in life. If your self-esteem is weak, then all your strength goes into compensating for children’s feelings of uselessness and unimportance.
And all the difficulties in interpersonal relationships are then perceived inappropriately painfully and categorically! And in this area, more than in any other, flexibility and acceptance of the partner for who he is are important. The important position is “we are together”, not “who is right”.
What to do if you notice this in yourself? It is important for you to cultivate within yourself the feeling that everything that my partner (and all the people around me) does is out of love for me. It’s just that sometimes he doesn’t know and doesn’t know how to build relationships, he doesn’t know everything – LIKE ME.
And this is normal: learn to build relationships, learn to accept your mistakes and forgive them to others. The more we invest in our relationships, the more we begin to see the depth and variety of views on life, on people, on ourselves.
How to stop feeling weak and unvalued?
Scientists have discovered that a split second before any feeling arises within us, a thought-decision appears in our brain about whether to experience this feeling or another?
And if experience suggests that our reaction is “correct,” we begin to feel accordingly. And correctness is determined by the habit of reacting in a certain way.
And we can CHOOSE to experience certain feelings in our lives or not. This is the experience of Personality development. If you always only habitually react to circumstances, relationships and do not see the possibility of CHOICE, then there will be no development as such!
You will repeat the same scenario an endless number of times. And always get the same result. Choose to feel good, regardless of situations and other people's attitudes towards you, and your life will change dramatically for the better!
Many of us are unhappy in life and relationships only because we have not learned to love, first of all, ourselves.
Self-love is important not only for personal happiness, but also for success in life - such people are ready for great achievements, they feel much more confident, and boldly defend their boundaries and interests.
Whatever you do, love yourself for it. Whatever you feel, love yourself for feeling it.
Tadeusz Golas
Take care of yourself
The modern world and this crazy rhythm of life are not conducive to a person learning to love himself. We are daily imposed with many obligations, unnecessary desires and aspirations. Inconsistency with established frameworks and stereotypes leads to rejection by society and the system.The problem is not that it is difficult to meet these established standards, but that they change every day. In all this turmoil, the eternal race for illusory ideals, we often completely forget about ourselves.
In order to learn to love yourself, it is important to take time to hear yourself. Be attentive to yourself, your personal, unimposed desires and needs. Listen carefully to the voice of your heart, which is often drowned out by shouts from the outside.
Stop right now and think - what you are doing is truly your personal desire. Which of your desires and needs have you ignored and suppressed, out of embarrassment, fear of being misunderstood, judged? Be attentive to yourself, and not to the voices of the world around you.
Take care of your health
Often, especially young people, forget that health is a valuable resource, which is very difficult, and sometimes impossible, to restore. Reconsider your attitude towards your own body - love it by taking care of your health.Here are some tips from psychologists to help you love yourself:
- Plan a trip to a clinic or private diagnostic center in the near future and undergo a full examination of the whole body. Find out what diseases you have and begin treatment gradually.
- Go to the dentist - people often waste money on this, put off dental treatment until later, and end up being left without it at a relatively young age. Stop putting off until tomorrow what needs to be done yesterday!
- Review your diet - go to the kitchen and start throwing away all semi-finished products, dangerous ready-made sauces, unnatural seasonings. Throw away anything that could harm you. Create a healthy menu for the week - you will spend 5 minutes on this, and you can extend your life by at least a couple of years. Based on this, buy groceries, and be sure to ensure that there is always a lot of fruits, vegetables and herbs on your table.
- Start playing sports - this is not only a way to show love and care for your own body, but also a great opportunity to get more vital energy and get a great figure.
- Be sure to allow yourself good sleeping conditions. Don’t skimp and buy a comfortable mattress, natural bed linen, and comfortable pillows. Much in our lives depends on how and how much we sleep, so it’s worth taking care of your sleep.
- Find the time and money to go to a health resort once a year, take a cleansing course with mineral waters, or at least go for a preventive massage once a month.
- Don't forget that sometimes our body gives us signals that it needs to rest and recover. This can manifest itself as laziness.
Take care of your appearance
Most people get ready carefully before leaving the house. Women remove makeup, do manicures and pedicures, hairstyles, and depilation. Men shave, put on ironed shirts, suits, apply perfume, and style the unruly strands of their beards. And who are they doing this for? That's right, for the people around you.
But true self-love lies in taking care of your appearance not for the sake of other people, but first of all, for yourself. Therefore, even when you are at home, comb your hair, dress comfortably but beautifully, and women can safely do their own makeup.
On weekends you can visit beauty salons - if you wish, you will find funds for this. Buy yourself everything you need to look perfect - this is not only an act of self-love, but also a good investment in prolonging your youth and beauty.
The way you look now is a reflection of how much you love yourself. Look at how much you love yourself and start working on your appearance.
Comfortable communication
Another step towards self-respect and self-love is to cleanse your environment of those people who bring you negativity.Now it is important to think:
- How many of the people around you make you irritated and want to kill them?
- Who haven't you sent on all four sides just out of politeness?
- Who constantly makes you cry with their rudeness?
- Or maybe there are those who constantly get out of their way and with their cunning and resourcefulness make you groan from powerlessness to resist them in any way?
Your self-love will be in send them to hell and completely limit communication with such people. Become the person who chooses his own social circle and brings only those people with whom he does not have to constantly suffer and experience negative emotions.
If you don’t love yourself, what do you want from others?
Don't be afraid of loneliness - drive away the unworthy, because your life is short and you probably don’t want to live it next to idiots.
There is no need to feel guilty for wanting to be happy and feel comfortable around sincere and understanding smart people - this is your personal right and you deserve it!
It is important for every person to be able to love themselves. Self-love is taking care of yourself, satisfying your desires, accepting your body and personality.
Loving yourself can be difficult, because from childhood many are taught to give themselves to others, to be respectful of elders, and to put themselves lower. Most people have low self-esteem due to external influences, which can be difficult to improve.
You can spend a long time thinking about why a person has low self-esteem and doesn’t love himself, but it’s better to immediately move on to action and truly change:
- First of all, it's worth doing physical condition. Once you start playing sports, you can feel an increase in energy, and over time, a toned shape will definitely give you confidence in your own abilities. All you have to do is choose an interesting sport and start practicing.
- Secondly, you need learn to compliment yourself. In the morning, while preening to go to work, you need to say pleasant things about your appearance and internal state, setting yourself up for a successful and productive day.
- Thirdly, it's worth learn to find your strengths and emphasize them. If a girl has features of appearance, she can focus attention on them with clothes or makeup. If a person has some unusual abilities, he can show them to friends or even the whole world via the Internet.
Also, when working on yourself, you need to constantly analyze changes. You need to compare yourself with your past self - in no case with other people. You can be inspired by other people's experiences, but you cannot wallow in envy or compare yourself with the fact that after years of hard work you have achieved your current result.
If you feel discomfort when encountering a person of a higher level in a certain area, then it is better to keep a distance from such people so as not to harm yourself. You can start communicating with them later, when you manage to get closer to their level.
You can love yourself by creating a positive image of yourself. You need to think through the image of your future self, from appearance to character and behavior.
The next step is to change your mindset. At this stage, a rethinking of the attitude towards oneself is carried out. You need to not justify your destructive actions, but turn them into strong qualities. For example, some slowness in a person can be useful, as it protects against impulsive purchases of unnecessary things.
On the path of self-improvement, positive attitudes are a powerful tool. Having the mindset for success, realizing the inevitability of failures along the way and trying to cope with them, after time each person will be able to reveal the full potential of their essence and love themselves.
Self-love is the basis for a free and happy life, which every person deserves, so you need to work on yourself, overcoming difficulties on the path to personal success.
Praise yourself for your achievements and get rid of self-criticism
Many of us simply cannot live a day without blaming ourselves three hundred times for all the troubles and problems.Our inner critic is such a vile creature that constantly tries to kill faith in ourselves, crush us with a gravestone of self-condemnation, and destroy motivation. In order for it not to destroy us and our love for ourselves, we need to get rid of it - our inner critic.
Instead of constantly beating yourself up, start turning a blind eye to some of your shortcomings and praising your achievements.
Allow yourself to enjoy every success, no matter how small. Praise yourself - this will not only show you love for yourself, but will also increase your confidence in yourself and your success!
Many girls and women have a serious problem - they do not love and value themselves enough. Some of them wonder why others are more fortunate in their personal lives and careers, while they are doing poorly, despite their best efforts. Most often this happens precisely because of self-dislike!
If you don't love yourself, no one will love you
The golden rule has long been known that if you do not love yourself, then your chances are very low that someone else will show this feeling to you. Of course, we are not talking about narcissism, but you shouldn’t forget about yourself either. As a rule, people who place themselves lower than others end up receiving less, which means they feel disadvantaged, which is why they often plunge into depression. Being in such a state, it is difficult for a person to arouse interest in someone, much less delight. A depressed person is immersed in his thoughts, limiting himself in contacts, and, accordingly, in those people who could love them. It is difficult to argue with the fact that people who value themselves and love them always find time to take care of themselves and pamper themselves yourself with something. Naturally, in this case, they usually always look good and are more often than others in a good mood, which undoubtedly attracts others. Self-love is a huge power, and many problems in life arise precisely from the lack of this bright feeling for oneself. You can avoid many breakups, conflicts, misunderstandings and disappointments by simply learning to treat yourself with love.What does it mean to love yourself
1. Take care of yourself Self-love manifests itself in many aspects, and one of them is caring for your health, well-being, and so on. Often we are ready to make unjustified sacrifices, even at the cost of our health. An example would be a woman who works extremely hard to provide for her family, while her husband doesn’t even think about straining. When shouldering such burdens, be prepared for not the most pleasant health consequences. Also a good example: a woman feels unwell, but is in no hurry to go to the doctor, hoping that everything will “resolve itself” and the money would be better spent on New Year’s gifts. Remember that your health is very important, and inattention to yourself threatens to develop into truly serious problems. 2. Comfort and reassure yourself Don't expect anyone else to do it for you. Of course, such a development is not excluded, but you should always be ready to take care of yourself. Do it as you would do for a loved one. Your day is not going well, but the evening promises to be no less difficult - household chores and so on? Postpone all your worries for later, and in the meantime, allow yourself to calm down after a hard day or an unpleasant trip. Take a bath, drink a hot drink, watch an episode of your favorite TV series - in general, do something that usually helps you regain your lost balance. Even if you think there are more important things to do right now, you can probably put them off. 3. Pamper yourself If you are an inherent self-sacrificing person, but at the same time you prefer to ignore your own needs, then this could become a serious problem for you, or maybe it already has. Indulge your weaknesses sometimes. Buy yourself the goodies you love, pamper yourself with new cosmetics, treatments from a cosmetologist, and home self-care. Give yourself small and large gifts. 4. Accept yourself Some people do not love themselves, believing that they simply do not deserve love because of some shortcomings. Perhaps these shortcomings are far-fetched, or perhaps the real essence does not change. If you don’t like something about yourself, and you can’t change it in any way, then the only sure way out is to accept your peculiarity and even love it! Are you unhappy with your height? Think about the benefits it gives you. And so on. It is worth noting that most of the shortcomings can still be corrected or corrected in a certain way. If some feature bothers you, try to find a way to fix it, it will really be easier for you to live and love yourself after that!
I don't like myself, what should I do?
1. Love without a reason Realize that you don't need a special reason to love yourself. Even if you have not distinguished yourself with special achievements, do not have amazing talents or spectacular appearance, this is not a reason to treat yourself worse than anyone else. There is no one else like you in the world, every person is special, and you should appreciate your own uniqueness. 2. Forgive past mistakes Come to terms with the past and realize what lessons you can learn from it. Some people are prejudiced against themselves because of past mistakes. If you also often think about what happened once, then this is not a very good sign. Learn to let go of the past, learning useful lessons from it, but not bringing it into your present life. 3. Don't compare yourself Don't think that someone is better than you just because they have more achievements in some area. Such comparisons can be made endlessly - both in your favor and in others. Everyone has different capabilities and abilities, and that's okay. The only person with whom it makes sense to compete is yourself. You can improve any skills, appearance, etc., but you should not do this by looking up to someone else. 4. Don't overestimate others Often what prevents us from loving ourselves is the fact that someone else is more successful, more beautiful, and the like. This point follows from the previous one. Perhaps another person is more accomplished than you in some ways, but you probably have an advantage in other things. And in general, should it matter more to you how others live than your own life?5. Take care of your health Taking care of your own health is one of the first steps on the path to self-love. Play sports, eat right, and get outdoors regularly. Do not forget to undergo regular examinations, protect yourself from cold and heat, thereby you can subsequently avoid unnecessary problems. 6. Don't communicate with people you don't like If possible, minimize or completely eliminate communication with people who are unpleasant to you and undermine your faith in your own strengths and capabilities or somehow lower your self-esteem. Contacts with such individuals will definitely not bring you any benefit, but will only spoil your mood.
How to learn to respect yourself - where to start
1. Increase self-esteem The first step is to increase your self-esteem. Usually a person’s self-esteem increases after some at least small achievement. This could be going to the gym, doing 20 squats at home, cooking a new dish, or attending a master class. Be open to new knowledge and positive experiences, and this will have a positive effect on your self-esteem. 2. Always be a confident person By increasing your self-esteem, you will undoubtedly be able to become more confident in yourself. Even if you have not developed this quality now, learn not to show it. Try to at least outwardly behave confidently, and gradually it will become a habit. 3. Start to value yourself Let go of all negative thoughts and blame about yourself. Accept that ideal people simply do not exist! You have been given your life, and if you wish, you can make it happy and comfortable. Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do to please someone. Your task is, first of all, to improve your own life, and not to live up to someone else’s expectations. 4. Advice and recommendations from a psychologist One of the important points on the path to self-respect is to stop tolerating what causes you discomfort. For example, a friend likes to tell long and uninteresting stories on the phone for a long time, and with her reasoning she “takes away” the lion’s share of your evening, after which you do not have time to do what you really needed. Realizing that now the telephone conversation is really distracting you, interrupt the narrator, for example, with these words: “Marina, I’m sorry, my neighbor came to see me here, let’s call you at another time.” Although you can tell the truth - you are about to take a bath, start cooking dinner, or even just take a nap! Don't assume that your needs are less important than someone else's desire to talk. The same advice can be applied to those who are smoke intolerant but tolerate smoking in their car or kitchen, or to those who are upset by unsolicited advice but continues to listen to them. Feel free to say what makes you uncomfortable.
How can a woman or girl develop self-love?
Truly love yourself and your appearance
Even if you don’t like some features of your appearance, you shouldn’t focus your attention on them. If there is an opportunity to correct something that you do not like, then do not neglect it if it really poisons your life. If there is no such possibility, then there is no point in thinking about what cannot be changed. It is possible that your complexes are completely far-fetched, but now we are not talking about that. Surely you have undoubted advantages that you can always emphasize. Think more about these features of yours. Learn to take care of your appearance, and over time you will increasingly like your own reflection in the mirror. Don’t forget about home self-care procedures and periodically visit beauty salons to take care of your skin and hair. Do not forget about visits to the dentist, who will preserve the beauty of your smile and so on. If you have skin problems, then it is possible that they need to be solved not in a cosmetologist’s office, but in a dermatologist. Many girls and women suffer for years from a problem that can often be resolved in a few days. Once you start taking careful care of your appearance, you will, of course, love yourself more.You need to accept yourself as you are
Don’t try to meet someone’s beauty standards, remember your individuality. The same applies to character, place of work, and so on. Of course, all these aspects, if possible, should be improved, but only in order to make your own life easier, and not to fit into someone else’s idea of the ideal. If you are quiet and modest by nature, then someone may consider you uptight and insecure, while others may find you charmingly shy. If you are a sociable girl, then someone may decide that you are the life of the party, while others may think you are an upstart. It's impossible to please everyone, but you can learn to live in harmony with yourself.Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start taking action.
Self-pity is a very unproductive feeling that can do little to help. Of course, sometimes it’s not superfluous to feel sorry for yourself and console yourself, but this should not be the limit. If you find yourself in a situation that causes you regret, then you need to do everything possible to get out of this situation and try not to allow it to happen again, then you can not feel sorry for yourself, but be proud of yourself.Psychological technique - easy steps on the way to yourself
To love yourself, it is important to learn to listen to your desires and needs. If you often have to give in to someone to your detriment, then this will not bode well for you later. These can be any little things: choosing a dish in a cafe, an inconvenient meeting time for you, constantly lending money to an unthrifty friend, a job you don’t like, and the like. If you regularly do something that disgusts you, then this threatens you, at the very least, with a spoiled mood. Listen to your desires, and if you understand that you don’t want to do something, and in general, you don’t have to, then you should listen to your desire.
Is it possible to teach a person to love himself and other people?
Of course, in order to find internal and external harmony, it is important to learn to love not only yourself, but also the people around you. So, start with self-love first:- If something makes you anxious, and in your thoughts you have already predicted the most unpleasant development of events, then you probably do this quite often and you need to deal with it! Don't think about anything bad unless you know for sure that it happened. Hope for a favorable outcome. But even if something bad happens, don’t dwell on the negatives, but look for ways to solve the problem. If some gloomy thoughts come into your head, consciously change their direction and think about something pleasant. Surely you have virtues that deserve praise. Remind yourself of them regularly, and you can even write them down on a piece of paper so that you can periodically remind yourself of your important qualities. For example: “I’m lucky!”, “I’m smart!”, “I’m charismatic!”, “I’m responsible!”, and the like. You would probably be horrified if you counted how much time it took you to replay dialogues spoken long ago in your head, imagine how you would respond now, and so on. Get rid of the unpleasant past from your head! Moments that caused you pain or discomfort are not worthy of popping up again and again in your life. As soon as bad thoughts begin to creep up on you again, think about something else, switch yourself to more pleasant thoughts. You can think about what to give your loved one for the next holiday, where to go for the weekend or on vacation, and other pleasant moments. By learning to free your mind from negative thoughts, you can not only be more loyal to yourself, but also, most likely, change your attitude towards the people around you. What is worth paying attention to for those who experience a lack of love for others. Do not expect from others what is characteristic of you. Every person has the right to live the way he likes! For example, you are used to waking up at six in the morning, and you don’t understand how someone can sleep until ten in the morning, even if the person does not need to go anywhere before that time. Of course, you do not forget to periodically express your bewilderment and give advice on sleep patterns. Believe me, such advisers are very annoying. Take life more simply, don’t put strict limits on someone just because you live differently. Understand that if someone does not follow the rules that you are trying to follow, this does not mean that this person is bad - he is just different. Even if someone annoys you intolerably, try to minimize this feeling. In addition, often the object of irritation may not be aware of your feelings, and with these negative emotions you only add extra stress to your life. Think about what positive aspects this person has for which you can feel sympathy for him. If you believe that there are no such parties, then it means that you have not looked for them well. Don't be biased, and try to see the good in others first.
Psychology: how to make yourself better and learn to live joyfully for yourself
If you want to feel better about yourself, then you should become better - as you can see, the pattern here is quite simple! At the same time, you don’t need to chase some mythical ideal and far-fetched image - you can bring a lot of changes into your life without any losses, it will only be a joy to you. So where to start? 1. Sports You've probably already heard that regular exercise not only has a beneficial effect on your health, but also contributes to the production of the “happiness hormone”. Many people notice that no matter how bad the day is, an hour in the gym significantly improves their mood and redirects their attention perfectly. Those who exercise in the morning tend to feel much better than usual during the following day. Of course, it is not necessary to go to the gym if you are not interested in such pastime - you can run in the park, swim in the pool, attend yoga classes, and so on. If you wish, you can choose something to your liking. 2. Enrich your knowledge For many people, school and student years are the most active time for acquiring knowledge, but it is important to constantly enrich yourself with new interesting information. If now you don’t have lessons or lectures, this means that you can choose the material that interests you. Go to exhibitions, sign up for excursions, master classes and the like. Learn something new regularly - this will have a positive impact on your self-esteem and will make you a more interesting person to others. 3. Pay attention to others It's hard to become a better person without caring about someone. There are many options! You can shelter, treat and raise a homeless kitten who will become a true friend for you. You can adopt an animal from a shelter or simply periodically help some local organization to protect our little brothers. It is equally important to pay attention to loved ones - delighting elderly relatives with visits and gifts, making surprises for children, and so on. The more kindness you give, the happier you will begin to feel - try it! 4. Don't spread negativity It is important not only not to spread negativity, but also to stop other people, especially loved ones, from doing so. If a person dear to you is worried and escalates the situation, do not support this, try to convince him that everything will work out, switch his attention. You yourself also give up the habit of “crying” about your troubles. This way you not only create an aura of negativity around yourself, but also spoil the mood of other people, and there is nothing good about that. 5. Set goals for yourself Moreover, please note that it is important not only to set goals for yourself, but also not to forget to achieve them. Would you like to finally visit abroad? Write down on a piece of paper, point by point, what needs to be done for this - now this is your plan! Determine the deadlines for the implementation of your plans and act! Do the same if you want to lose weight, gain muscle mass, learn to dance, grow healthy and beautiful hair, and so on. 6. Don’t put off solving problems If you are faced with any problem, then it is unreasonable in this situation to simply think positively and do nothing. Remember that any small problem can grow into a serious problem. Don't try to forget about unresolved issues by constantly pushing them to later. It’s difficult just to start, but as soon as you get down to business and finish it, you can once again be glad that you freed yourself from unnecessary thoughts and experiences that would still remain in the subconscious.
Classmates
How to respect yourself so that you will be loved. How to learn to value yourself. As Vasily Osipovich Klyuchevsky said: “A man usually loves women whom he respects, a woman usually respects only men whom she loves.”
And so it is. The nature of a man is that love and respect are interconnected. And if a girl wants to be loved, respect must be taken care of first.
1. Don't be a woman
“Yes” Most men tend to respect those who have their own opinion, even if it contradicts their own. A girl who agrees with everything a man suggests or says is unlikely to arouse deep feelings in him.
2. Don't get drunk Yes, men have double standards on this matter.
If one of their comrades gets completely drunk, they will later simply say - they had a good time, but a drunk woman, and even in a public place, is a shame, disgrace and generally a humiliating sight for them.
3. Have your own life
Most men want to be a part of a woman's life, but not her whole life. Men do not respect women who make them “light in the window”. A girl who has her own interests, hobbies, and friends is much more attractive.
4. Don't jump into bed with the first person you meet.
Intimacy on the first date is the surest way to start a relationship with disrespect. The truth is that men don't value what they get easily. The more effort he makes to conquer, the more he values his girlfriend.
And the longer they wait for this moment, the more they will respect her for her principles and legibility.
5. Don't lie Honesty is the key to any healthy relationship.
Small lies, as we know, give rise to big grievances. And destroys precious trust. Any lie will sooner or later come back to you like a boomerang.
6. Don't complain about your ex.
Everything works here at once: checking for lice, the girl’s decency, and banal male solidarity. And no matter how bad your ex is, it is important to understand the line beyond which telling something is dangerous.
It is better to limit yourself to a few phrases - honest, but comprehensive. Otherwise, he will think that in the event of a breakup, you will speak about him in the same way in front of your new boyfriend.
7. Don't flirt with others
It's not just a matter of jealousy. The fact is that open flirting will bring you unnecessary fame, and they will look at him as a cuckold. You know, no man’s pride can stand this. And then, if he sees you as a girl of “lighter behavior,” he is unlikely to begin to respect you.
8. Be yourself
There is no need to pretend to be someone else - men respect those women who can be honest with themselves. Everyone wants to see a real person next to them without pretense and empty talk.
9. Be a Lady Lady is the highest embodiment of a Woman.
There is no need to pretend to be your boyfriend, behave cheekily or rattle your “balls of steel”. Tenderness, femininity, purity are qualities that never cease to be valued by men, even if they never admit it.
