Much has been said about the fact that the ability to forgive an insult and let go of the past is the highest spiritual gift. However, some people do not see anything behind this except beautiful phrases and catchphrases. However, even doctors agree that it is people with a “touchy” behavioral type of character who are most vulnerable to diseases and various ailments.
There is a belief according to which a person who carries a lot of negative energy within himself eventually acquires cancer and shortens his life. And although this assumption has not been practically studied, it still has a significant statistical basis.
People say: “It’s easy to offend, but it’s very difficult to forgive.”" And indeed, the one who causes us mental pain sometimes does not think about how slowly we die, carrying within ourselves a lump of pain caused by him.
How to learn to forgive insults to loved ones, former lovers, colleagues? How to find the strength to forgive and move on happily?
Let's abstract ourselves from what is happening
“Being offended and indignant is like drinking poison in the hope that it will kill all your enemies.” (Nelson Mandela).
If you have been truly hurt, try to create negative motivation for yourself. Close your eyes and imagine what will happen if you begin to carry resentment within yourself throughout the rest of your life?
- Your offender will follow his own path, definitely happier than yours;
- You will constantly carry a lump of pain within yourself that will grow with you for the entire time allotted to you. Gradually, you will stop enjoying everything that is happening, and will begin to look for one, the most destructive path - the path of revenge;
- Your life will not be limited to just this current injury. From your offenders you will count dozens, hundreds, thousands of them. And all this time, your own “poisonous” lump will accumulate, like an avalanche. And, rest assured, one day it will fall on a completely innocent person, close and dear to you;
- Your resentment will turn into strong and destructive negative energy that can kill all bright feelings. You will lose joy, faith, gratitude, respect, love and loyalty. All this is absolutely destructive for any union, even if it is extremely strong and durable. Think about the fact that you risk losing all the people destined for you by fate, following the lead of your own negative emotions;
- You will project your negativity onto any budding relationship, laying a foundation for it from groundless suspicions and subconscious conflict. A touchy person can safely give up on his personal life and intimate relationships, since they will collapse before they even begin;
- You will begin to see in every person a potential enemy, traitor and traitor, even if he does not deserve it at all and treats you with all his heart;
- Sooner or later you will begin to take revenge. Namely, revenge gives rise to fatal, fatal mistakes that can derail your entire destiny;
- You will definitely start to get sick, even if you now have enviably good health and physical condition. Touchy people suffer from cancer and suffer a lot before their own death. And often only on their deathbed do they come to mental absolution for their opponents. It becomes very bitter for them to realize what they wasted their own lives on, without ever receiving happiness.
It is also useful to think about whether your feelings of resentment are real. Understand the main thing: all our negative emotions are a figment of our imagination. Strangers definitely don’t know about your suffering. Just imagine - none of the seven billion knows why and why you feel bad! This means that your negative feeling has neither material nor even moral embodiment.
Everything bad that you carry within yourself is a figment of your imagination. Your own projection of inner content. His mirror image. It’s worth thinking: if the world around you is so bad, then what are you good at, and what good things do you feed it with?
Don't drag the fictional and past behind you
It is also important to understand that the resentment you carry within yourself may even be your fantasy. For example, you suspected your loved one of infidelity after finding the number of a stranger in his phone book.
You experienced a crushing breakup, shed a sea of tears and brought down a hundredweight of curses on the young man.
You accumulate anger, distrust, indignation in yourself, but there was no betrayal on his part at all! That ill-fated contact turned out to be just the number of a former classmate or colleague. Your man tenderly loved only you, and did not even think about carnal pleasures with other women. But your rage turned out to be destructive, and now you have lost your true happiness, leaving in your soul only anger and resentment for a non-existent act.
If you are not sure of someone's actions against you, you have no moral right to condemn the person and appropriate to him the fruits of your own spiritual licentiousness. Needless to say that wishing him harm and taking revenge for imperfect actions is completely criminal on your part?
If your offense has a very real reason, and you are thinking whether to forgive the offense or revel in the thirst for revenge, stop for a second and decide - is the offender your enemy, or an adviser? The fact is that every person appears in our lives for a reason. It either brings happiness or experience.
Now you are burned and in pain, but imagine how much similar stress you can avoid thanks to this person! Mentally say “thank you” and let him go. Take your bitter experience into account and boldly move on in life. It is easier to offend than to forgive, but only a spiritually mature person can forgive and give thanks for a difficult lesson.
Positive motivation
In order not to talk unfoundedly about how important it is to forget, accept and let go, we suggest you complete the previous task in reverse. Just imagine how your life will be transformed if you let go of the situation, thank life for the difficult but productive lesson and sincerely forgive the one who hurt you.
How to forgive an offenseby creating positive motivation?
- From now on, you will not be easily hooked and restructured in a destructive way, you will be calm and balanced, your life will take on new bright colors;
- You will learn to enjoy the simple and banal things that surround you in everyday life. Your life will be filled with high energies and happiness will rule it;
- Success will constantly accompany you as an integral part of the life of a strong, spiritually pure person;
- You will be able to easily build relationships with new people appearing near you. Resentment obscures the beginnings of wisdom, clouds the mind and deprives one of adequacy. A person who is morally pure from destructive thoughts looks at others with more sober eyes, which means he is less likely to make mistakes in them;
- You will learn from your example how easy it is to forget and forgive an offense, and therefore you will become even stronger for subsequent lessons;
- You will become more attractive to the right people because they are drawn to strong, strong-willed individuals without petty addictions.
Think about the fact that the person who harmed you is just a person, not the Almighty. Tell yourself: " I forgive him, I understand his weaknesses and shortcomings, I do not demand more from him than he is capable of giving.».
You will certainly feel the power of forgiveness and intuitively feel the right direction. You will gain self-irony, learn to relate easily and constructively to your own mistakes. You will learn to replace negative emotions with promising actions.
How to forgive an offense andto truly let a person go?
- Think about how fleeting life is. Enjoy every moment of it and don’t let negative experiences crowd out your own happiness;
- Pray. Not only about yourself and your loved ones, but also about the person who struck you. Ask God to forgive him;
- Don't think back to your old relationships. They have passed and will not return. Put an end to it and move on, because a lot of interesting and exciting things await you ahead;
- Replace resentment with indifference. Get the image of your ill-wisher out of your head. He is not worthy of your attention;
- Be kind, welcoming and sympathetic to strangers. Help people, feel your importance in this world, get simple joys from your ability to sympathize and help your neighbors.
« Forgive all your offenders, and you will be rewarded with good“It’s not for nothing that all religions and wise teachings talk about this. Do not allow destructive emotions and feelings into your life. Let it be ruled by love, peace, tranquility and harmony!
“We must make the choice to liberate ourselves
and forgive everyone without exception, especially ourselves.
Even though we don’t know how to forgive, we have to really want it.”
Louise Hay
Everyone ever in your life were offended. And many of you are familiar with the reluctance to forgive a person who has caused harm.
You carry this burden with you day after day, nursing your hurt feelings, feeling sorry for yourself.
But how does this benefit you? Remembering the offense, you again and again plunge into the events of the past, poisoning the present.
How to let go of this pain? What is real forgiveness? What does it mean be able to forgive and how to achieve this?
If you have these questions, then you are on the path to true forgiveness.
Learn how to move from self-pity to liberation, strength and inner harmony.
What is forgiveness
How do you feel when you are offended?
Everything inside is compressed, you seem to be shackled, your consciousness narrows. You look at the world through the prism of your feelings and do not see the whole picture.
When you are offended by someone, you devote all your energy to fueling this resentment.
In this state your heart is closed, you are not capable of giving love. You cannot love yourself, your loved ones.
What is forgiveness?
There is an opinion that forgiveness is an act of mercy. By forgiving out of nobility, you fall into a trap. The resentment remains, but on a deeper level.
Your ego, increased from showing generosity towards the offender, seeks to hide your true feelings.
You are still offended, but now you are forced to hide it from yourself and from everyone.
Society also believes that giving in and forgiving is weakness and lack of will. But in reality this is show of force.
By forgiving, you become vulnerable, but at the same time, you gain strength and stop depending on the feelings that destroy you.
To hold a grudge against a person, no matter how much pain he causes you, means to be in a state of victimhood.
To forgive sincerely, accepting the situation, means free yourself.
By letting go of the past, you remove the dam built of claims, aggression, anger and resentment.
Energy begins to pour out from the heart, washing away painful emotions. At this moment, a transformation happens to you, you step into a new round of your spiritual evolution.
Look at the state of resentment from different angles to understand how this feeling can be used for your development.
What grudges are the hardest to let go of?
The deepest grievances are grievances against loved ones: parents, spouses.
It all starts with parents. You feel complaints for not loving, abandoning, not supporting, reproaching, criticizing, not believing in you, etc.
The child places a lot of expectations on his parents. And often they cannot cope with such volume.
Growing up, we understand that our parents loved as best they could, but the resentment still remains in our hearts. She goes into the unconscious.
And then it is projected onto life partners.
We transfer everything that we did not receive from our parents to our spouses, who, in turn, give us a reason to be offended, to have complaints, etc.
But do not forget that we choose our parents ourselves long before birth. And they fulfill all the conditions and requirements of the contract concluded on the subtle plane.
Parents are the most powerful catalysts for our changes in ourselves. Important lessons and realizations are hidden in the most bitter grievances.
If for some reason we have not learned them with our parents, we transfer them to our partners: husbands, wives.
Take a closer look at your life, analyze the chain of key events, starting from childhood, and you will definitely find this truth, for which you actually came here to earth, in this incarnation.
Ask yourself, what lesson did you choose to learn through your parents?
This article will help you find out what your parents taught you.
Why do you need to forgive?
“As soon as a person gets sick,
he needs to search in his heart who needs to be forgiven.”
Louise Hay
Who needs forgiveness more, the offender or you?
Not everyone who hurt you knows about it. And not everyone feels guilty.
And you walk around with your resentment or feeling of betrayal all the time.
You replay this traumatic situation over and over again, destroying myself from the inside.
This pain is with you all the time. You cling to it with a death grip. The longer you hold a grudge, the harder it is to let go.
When you are energetically depleted, you do not live to your full potential, you do not feel happy, you are not able to love, because your heart is closed.
It's no longer a secret that thoughts supported by emotions are material. What we send into the Universe comes back to us in multiplied form.
By resisting forgiveness, you put yourself in great danger.
On the etheric plane, clots of energy are formed, which subsequently turn into real physical diseases.
See below what diseases cause unforgiven grievances:
How to forgive someone for betrayal
“Don't think about what your forgiveness means for your opponents, those who have wronged you in the past. Enjoy what forgiveness does for you. Learn to forgive, and it will become easier for you to go towards your dreams, unencumbered by the baggage of the past.”
Nick Vujicic
To move from resentment to forgiveness means to move from the state of a victim to the state of a creator.
First of all, you need want to forgive.
If you are grieving, it may not even occur to you that forgiveness is the best way to resolve the situation.
Instead, you digest the options of what you would say or how you would act in that situation, how you should behave further with this person and how to punish him.
All offenders are our teachers.
We subconsciously we want to be offended and therefore we attract such people into our lives. Why are we doing this? Everyone has their own answer.
There is not a single offense inflicted on us just for the sake of suffering. They all contain a treasure that, when discovered, makes us wiser.
Allow yourself to look at the situation from this perspective, and you will see what is really hidden behind the resentment.
The more painful the injury, the more valuable the experience it contains.
When you realize the hidden value of betrayal, you will realize that there's nothing to forgive you for. And you will experience a feeling of gratitude and unconditional love for the offender.
If situations constantly occur in your life when you are betrayed or humiliated, this indicates that you stubbornly do not want to see something important, necessary for your spiritual development.
Understand that the soul does not derive pleasure from inflicting pain.
On a subconscious level, a person suffers when he is forced to behave in this way. Part of him doesn't understand why he does this.
By forgiving, you free both yourself and him from fulfilling this contract. You give the person the opportunity to show their true feelings for you.
10 steps from resentment to forgiveness
We have created an infographic especially for you, which describes the main steps to help you achieve forgiveness.
When we don't know how to learn to forgive grievances and letting go of the past, our entire future destiny is also at risk. Life is a continuous process, we are constantly growing and developing. But what kind of self-improvement can we talk about if a heavy burden of negative experience pulls us to the bottom?
For those people who have learned to forgive insults and let go of negative emotions, life becomes much easier - cleansing the soul gives strength and opens the mind to new possibilities.
Resentment is a very harmful feeling; it is dangerous because it can persist in a person’s mind for a long time. You may not have communicated with your abuser for many years, but his words and actions will still influence your perception of the world.
Some especially deep grievances remain with us for the rest of our lives - because of them we feel bad, we are depressed, and according to psychosomatics, all chronic diseases are also caused by them.
Interestingly, all unforgiven insults continue to surface in our lives in one way or another, further exacerbating the harmful effects. We are constantly hurt by such situations until the pain caused by wounded pride subsides or at least dulls.
But you can completely get rid of pain once and for all only in one case - if you learn to forgive offenders in time and let go of all the negative attitudes received from them along with the insult.
- A poisonous lump of pain will forever settle in your heart - this will make it suffer, and over time the suffering will only intensify, toxic emotions, if not released, will eat you away from the inside.
- The burden of unforgiven grievances attracts other negative feelings, which will begin to accumulate very quickly, significantly complicating life.
- Touchy people do not live long - they often get cancer, and they usually die long and painfully.
- The burden of unpleasant emotions makes a person conflicted - it becomes difficult for him to maintain any kind of relationship, and forced loneliness only aggravates psychological problems.
- The destructive energy of resentment kills all bright feelings - if you do not learn to forgive, over time there will be no joy, no gratitude, no love left in the soul.
- When you can’t let go of the situation, the desire for revenge comes. Revenge is very dangerous - rash actions can completely change fate. Never take revenge, the best way out is to forgive.
If you learn to replace resentment with gratitude, life will become much more pleasant. Gratitude is one of the brightest feelings; it will fill you with creative energy. In this case, you don’t even need to forgive the offender - accept his action as a life lesson and be grateful to him for it.
Gratitude is the highest wisdom - only strong people are able to benefit from difficult situations. Let Nietzsche's philosophy become a role model for you - “Everything that does not kill us makes us stronger.”
See also The fact is that only those who know how to thank feel like a happy person. In this article we will understand what gratitude meditation is and how to put it into practice.
Now your experience from communicating with an unpleasant person will not be destructive, you do not need to let go of your emotions, on the contrary, keep all life lessons in your memory - they will strengthen your will and character.
- The first method is the most difficult, but it’s really better to start with it. To learn to forgive, try to understand the reasons for the insult. Take the side of the person who hurt you and ask yourself why he did it.
Most often, a very important realization comes - only an offended person can offend. Perhaps traumatic words are a normal reaction to your actions; most likely, you also touched this person to the quick. Remember what caused the quarrel, and understand that you are not the only one suffering.
It can be very difficult to admit your involvement in a conflict and let go of the blame to the offender, but believe me, you will immediately feel better. Of course, there is no need to approach your opponent and ask him for an apology - do it mentally, and you will see that your relationship in reality will also miraculously improve.
- If you just can’t calm down and let go of the situation, let your aggression spill out. It’s best to go to the gym and leave the negativity there - run, hit a punching bag, lift weights.
You can even vent your anger through dancing, just choose more rhythmic music and make more sudden movements. Some people find it very helpful to “shout out” - find a suitable place and put all your pain into your voice, the negativity comes out through loud rude sounds.
- To learn to forgive and let go of painful situations, always evaluate the degree of offense. There is no need to try to forget everything; on the contrary, reflect on the offensive words. Are they that important? Why do they hurt you so much?
Perhaps the insult was trivial, and the storm of emotions was caused by your bad mood. Consider whether what is happening will matter in a few years. If not, quickly forget about these little things - there are many other, more pleasant, moments for your attention.
- If you are offended by a loved one, then it is better not to remain silent about your feelings. And not only will it be difficult for you to experience the pain of the insult, but your relationship will also be at risk. Over time, you simply cannot be around someone who makes you suffer.
Therefore, under no circumstances should you accumulate anger and anger. This is exactly the case when forgiving and letting go of negativity is the only way to maintain contact. Learn to talk about your experiences, this will not only make your life easier, getting to know the sensory world of another person is a very exciting activity.
- When the offender is an important figure in your life, but there is no way to talk to him about your feelings, try contacting a psychologist. Most often, the help of a specialist is required when it comes to childhood traumas - they are the deepest.
There are many techniques to “pull” your pain out; even a simple attempt to talk it out will help - sometimes the problem disappears if you simply voice it correctly.
- To learn to forgive and let go of the past, approach difficult situations with humor. For example, you can bring all your fears and negative experiences to the point of absurdity - laugh and be self-critical. A cheerful disposition is the best cure for all troubles.
When the ability to forgive and let go of the past becomes a habit for you, life will begin to change - pain and understatement will go away. There will be no more stress, and chronic diseases will be miraculously healed.
All people are imperfect. It is very easy to offend another person, just as it is easy to be offended yourself. We can say that all people have offended someone at least once and have been offended themselves at least once. Psychologists say that resentment is a child’s feeling, because otherwise the child cannot show what upset him. However, many adults remain offended throughout their lives. If you want to learn how to forgive grievances and let people go, then read how to do it.
Why do you need to be able to forgive insults? Let's start by considering a question that should be clear to the person himself. In order to be motivated to forgive, you need to know what benefits it will bring to the person himself.
People only speak admiringly about the ability to forgive, but few explain why it is important. Sometimes people give forgiveness just like that. Sometimes it needs to be earned, begged for or given, as if this makes those who forgive become saints. However, everything about forgiveness is related only to the person, and not to other people.
You or you have offended someone. Forgiveness is required. But who should forgive or excuse? People reason as follows: the one who offended asks for forgiveness, and the one who was offended gives it. But this is just a game of people. In fact, life doesn’t care whether you have forgiven someone or asked someone for forgiveness in the way that is accepted in society. What matters to the Universe is whether you have forgiven the other person in the depths of your soul and whether you have forgiven yourself for hurting someone.
What matters is not whether you have asked someone for forgiveness, but whether you have forgiven yourself for a bad deed. It doesn’t matter whether you were asked for forgiveness, but whether you yourself forgave the person for his actions. The rest (the words “I’m sorry” and “I forgive”) does not matter, because if forgiveness has not occurred in the depths of your soul, then it will bring the same harm as if you had not forgiven each other.
Why is it important to be able to forgive? After a while, you also experience irritation because you did not forgive, did not accept, did not let go. The world narrows down to the level of one event that offended you, while you stop noticing everything that is happening around you. You become fixated on one problem, and you scroll it through your head, becoming even more offended by yourself or another person, rather than solving it.
Being able to forgive is important first of all for yourself. If you are offended by someone, then forgive this person, even if he did not ask you for forgiveness. If you feel guilty about yourself, forgive yourself, because even if you ask for an apology from the person you offended, you will not get rid of the oppressive feeling until you forgive yourself. Remember that resentment only suffocates the one who experiences it. You will not harm another person who has offended you with your thoughts. You can only harm yourself while you are offended.
The ability to forgive is important for the following reasons:
- You let the situation go into the past, you no longer worry or suffer because of it.
- You take the pressure off yourself when it was important to remember why you are offended.
- You stop blaming someone, which does not provoke negative emotions in you.
- You do not waste your time on empty grievances that will not change anything in your life.
If you can’t forgive in order to let go of your offender, you can seek help from a psychologist on the website. He will look into your situation and find a specific solution to your problem.
How to learn to forgive?
It is important for every person to learn to forgive. Despite the fact that resentment begins in childhood, children forget many of their negative emotions. An adult not only gets offended, but also remembers his grievances for a long time. This primarily harms only him. It seems that with our offense we cause discomfort to our offenders. In fact, our offenders live happily while we wallow in our grief and wait for all our problems to solve themselves.
In order not to waste time on past grievances, you should learn to forgive and let them go. A person understands the phrase “We need to forgive insults,” but it has no effect until he understands why this needs to be done. Living correctly is not a guarantee that a person will achieve happiness. It is important to understand the meaning of your “right” actions, which should bring benefits to the person personally. Living for the benefit of others is great, but it’s even better when everyone benefits from their “good” deeds.
Grievances are a part of everyone's life. Other people cannot predict in advance what may upset you. They are often guided by their own desires, which often contradict the aspirations of others. It is completely normal to do something that will offend someone. There is not a single person who would not offend anyone. From time to time, a person himself encounters situations that offend him.
The process of forming resentment is not so important. A person doesn’t like something, because of which he is offended. His desire is to receive recognition from the offender that he was wrong. Some people yearn so much to hear the word “sorry” that they hold resentment and anger towards others for many years.
You can easily get rid of resentment: let other people be who they are. They are not perfect, they may do things that you don’t like. They have the right to live as they wish. And you have the right not to be offended by this! Are you uncomfortable? Accept the fact that other people do not have to follow your wishes. When a person stops expecting apologies from others (“I’m sorry, I was wrong”), then he stops being offended.
Why do you need to forgive past grievances? No one is obliged to pretend to be a wise person and pretend that he has forgiven. If you don’t want to forgive, then you don’t need to force yourself. But if you understand why you need to let go of grievances, then do it at least for the sake of your own well-being.
The mechanism of resentment is simple: a person is waiting for someone to apologize to him. He sees mistakes only in other people, they are to blame, so they must apologize. At the same time, he does not notice how he himself contributed to the formation of an unpleasant situation. This may be a misunderstanding of the motives of other people, categorical beliefs and views, committing actions that prompted others to do what they did. Often the offended person is no less to blame for what happened to him.
What happens to a person when they don’t apologize? Often, offenders disappear or leave, which, in fact, is why resentment arises. Often offenders do not understand why they should apologize. Some people want to follow the principle: “Since they decided to be offended at me, then let them continue.” In other words, you can be offended for the rest of your life without ever receiving an apology.
Offenders soon forget that they offended someone. Only the person himself suffers from his resentment.
- He stops trusting people. Moreover, this mistrust arises not because specific people have managed to deceive, betray or offend, but because a person continues to carry resentment towards others, projecting it onto those who have not yet done anything.
- He thinks only about his own grievance. Accordingly, he unconsciously begins to seek confirmation that he is justifiably offended. A person begins to pay attention to people who are capable of offending him in the same way as previous acquaintances did. He waits for situations where an offensive situation will happen to him again. He constantly talks about unpleasant things with people who have not even thought of committing offensive actions with him, thereby pushing them to such actions. This is called “provoking offensive situations yourself in order to once again make sure that people are bad.”
- He stops noticing people with whom he would never have had unpleasant events, because of which he is offended. A person is busy looking for evidence that people are traitors and deceivers. How can he notice those who would never treat him badly?
Resentment is always in the heart of the one who is offended. At the same time, offenders can forget about it altogether, going about their business and living a happy life. Resentment brings destruction only to those who are offended.
How to learn to forgive people?
When time passes, people look to the past and realize that there was no need to be offended. They were only wasting their time on meaningless worries. You need to learn to forgive people, understanding the burden that will fall from the shoulders of the one who is offended.
Undoubtedly, resentment brings its own benefits: a person believes that he did the right thing by blaming others for the troubles that happened. Now he can do nothing but sit and wait for the culprits to correct the situation. But a lot of time passes, the situation does not change, and if you ask the culprits why they did not correct anything, it turns out that they could not even think that they had offended someone, that they were guilty of something.
Offenders usually live happily as long as someone is offended at them. Therefore, resentment is a problem that primarily harms the person who experiences it. It is better to learn to forgive people so as not to carry resentment with you into the future and not constantly experience negative emotions due to its presence.
To forgive people, you need to understand how it will benefit you. Then start using the following guidelines:
- Be distracted by pleasant things. Resentment does not need to be given energy by your suffering.
- Calm down. Use meditation or pleasant music to improve your mood.
- Remember the good times you had with this person. If you continue to build a relationship with your partner, then it is important to forgive him so as not to destroy the union with your resentment. Think more about what good things you had with this person, forgetting about all the bad things.
- Allow other people to be imperfect. People do offensive things because they didn’t think, didn’t guess, or simply didn’t know that they were doing something bad by their actions. Other people cannot read your thoughts and sometimes they simply have no idea how they offended you.
- Stop blaming anyone. The offended person usually exalts his person too much, believing that he always does the right thing. However, if you ask the people whom the person himself has offended, it turns out that there are also a lot of them and they are all waiting for an apology to them. From here we conclude: if you do not apologize to those you have offended, why should they ask for your forgiveness? Moreover, we are talking about people whom you do not consider interesting and important to yourself - just like the people from whom you expect an apology do not consider you an important and interesting person.
- Analyze the situation. Why are you offended? You need to understand what moment caused you to be offended. This knowledge gives you an understanding of where your weakness is. Resentment is a weak link that can be pulled in order to manipulate you.
How to learn to forgive grievances?
A person can be offended not only at others, but also at himself. How to forgive your own wrong actions? Self-criticism is good if it helps a person understand what not to do, instead of being killed by remorse. So, how to forgive your own grievances?
Psychologists say that people who take on a lot of things feel resentment towards themselves. It seems to them that they should know and be able to do everything, so mistakes are unforgivable for them. Perfectionism leads to constant dissatisfaction with oneself and, as a result, resentment.
Not all the ills of the world need to be taken personally. Sometimes a person is not guilty.
If you have offended someone, just ask for forgiveness. It's even better if your apology is accompanied by a real understanding of what you did, and not just a public performance when you just want to make peace and then do unpleasant things again.
Results of forgiveness
Forgiving yourself and other people is a very important skill. It allows you to rid yourself of unnecessary tension, which always harms the one who is offended, or the one who considers himself guilty. And if the offense is directed at a person who has already left your life, then his forgiveness allows you to let him go.
