How to stop discussing other people's lives and actions. How to break the habit

Instructions

There are no ideal people, just as there are no absolutely right people in their thoughts and actions. Each of us has our own experience, knowledge and beliefs, which do not always coincide with the “life baggage” of another person, not to mention the character. Our judgments often do not take into account personal characteristics, and they are the key to understanding our neighbor.

Stop judging other people means learning to accept them for who they are. But only those who have realized their own imperfections are able to forgive other people’s mistakes and weaknesses. Before you judge someone, think about your shortcomings. For example, if a person doesn't understand a certain topic, instead of judging his mental limitations, think about what knowledge gaps you have. Thus, you will not extol yourself, and you will not offend him: “I know more about this, and he about something else,” “I have such interests, he has such.”

Often, not only the weaknesses, but also the actions of others fall under our strict assessment. If we can still come to terms with some external shortcomings, then a specific action that we find strange or immoral causes a storm of indignation in us. This storm turns into a real hurricane when we begin to condemn someone's behavior among our acquaintances.

This usually ends with the individual completely unfairly becoming a reflection of his essence. So, if an employee does not stay once or twice for a corporate event, he is labeled “not friendly” and “has no team spirit.” Although he is actually sociable, he has problems at home, and he rushes to his family, but does not want to talk about personal experiences at work.

Before making a verdict, you need to understand the motives that guide people when committing certain actions. It’s easiest to say “I would never do that”, but not everyone can put themselves in someone else’s shoes and understand the reasons for their actions.

Perhaps a person does not even realize that his actions are regarded badly by someone. Let's say your friend dresses completely tastelessly. In his family, clothing was never given much importance, so all his life he dressed according to the principle “as long as it’s comfortable.” We, seeing him in an awkward suit, do not miss the opportunity to laugh at the appearance of our fellow man, while in our circle a style of addressing the “eccentric” is established. This feature involuntarily made him an outcast, although he is a good person in himself.

Things might have turned out differently if we had accepted him for who he is, or at least suggested what clothes would look better on him. And so it is in everything. If we are friendly to everyone, then they will treat us the same. Understanding and acceptance are the basis of harmonious relationships, not only with others, but also with yourself.

Question to a psychologist

Hello! My name is Elena, I am 26 years old, I teach English at the university, I am studying in graduate school, I live with my mother. In principle, everything in life suits me, I’m alone now in terms of my personal life, but this doesn’t really bother me either, because... I haven’t completely let go of my past relationship yet and I don’t want a new one yet. In general, I like the work, there are no problems here either. But, apparently, I am the kind of person who constantly needs to develop and improve, plus I analyze myself very often. I have been noticing for a long time that I involuntarily not only condemn, but internally criticize people (and sometimes out loud in conversations with my mother, for example). Moreover, the older I get, the more obvious to me the shortcomings of those around me (simply because I gradually stop looking at them through rose-colored glasses, I begin to understand people better). At the same time, I need to talk through all my observations (again with my mother or with my friends), complain, so to speak, that the person is this and that, behaving badly. But also, as I get older, I understand that people are all different, I stop measuring everyone by myself, I tell myself that everyone has a different upbringing, experience, etc. But I still can’t help but see some negative traits in people. I don’t know if this is a condemnation? After all, I don’t wish them harm; on the contrary, I can feel sorry for them, for example. How to stop criticizing people? Or maybe this is a necessary stage of growing up, when you begin to see people for who they are? How to separate a person’s behavior from his personality and is this necessary at all? For me it is always one whole; I cannot perceive actions and character separately, for example. I must also say that I am a believer and the problem of condemnation is very relevant for me - I think that this is bad and people need to be loved and pitied, but how to do this when you see people’s negative actions? How to adjust yourself internally towards them? Thanks in advance!

Answers from psychologists

Hello. Elena. Judging people is, unconsciously, comparing them favorably with oneself. A person who considers himself good and accepts himself as he is - good - does not see or evaluate those around him. He is busy with himself and is not interested in others .If a person has a disorder within himself, then he has to protect himself all the time through dissatisfaction and disappointment in other people. Hence the way out of the situation. As soon as you increase your value, the need to test others will disappear by itself. After all, YOU are yourself love now with all and unconditional love. And others with their imperfections cease to matter.

Karataev Vladimir Ivanovich, psychologist of the Volgograd psychoanalytic school

Elena, good afternoon.

There are no ideal people. Each of us has All- both good and bad, only in different proportions. When we judge or criticize another person, we condemn something in him that is also in us, but we do not accept or recognize it in ourselves. I can assume that you have an internal conflict. Take a closer look at exactly what thoughts and actions of people cause irritation in you - this may indicate to you why in myself worth the work. Preferably, together with a psychologist. It will help you bring your inner state to harmony.
It seems to me that you are too demanding of yourself. And, as a result, to others. Don't judge yourself, accept and forgive yourself, allow yourself to be less than perfect. And then you will stop focusing on other people's shortcomings.

Yarovaya Larisa Anatolyevna, psychologist Moscow

Photo: Viktoriia Degtiarova/Rusmediabank.ru

If you really like to gossip, then most likely you don’t ask yourself this question, because the question “to gossip or not” is not worth it for you. But there are also those people who analyze this phenomenon and understand all its disadvantages - starting with the fact that it is a waste of time and ending with the fact that gossip harms people because it conveys information unreliably, spoils the reputation of innocent people, and destroys relationships and careers. If you belong to the second category of people, there are ways, if not to get rid of gossip completely, then at least to make sure that there is less of it in your life.

First about myself

As a rule, people love to talk about themselves. But as soon as the conversations about themselves end, they move on to others. It is very important not to miss this moment. If all the important issues for discussion are over, and your interlocutor has moved on to her neighbors, your colleagues and mutual friends, just call it a day. So it's just time to end the conversation. And you won’t have to listen to endless stories about people you barely know, or discuss your own classmate.

Redirect the conversation to other topics

Let's say your friend is a very interesting person. She has an interesting job (anything), but it just so happens that she is a gossip. As soon as you see that she starts talking about other people, ask about something that really interests you. And interesting things can be found in absolutely any job or hobby. In addition, you can learn really important and necessary information from your interlocutor. Feel free to interrupt. This can be done very carefully: “Lenochka, I’m sorry, I’ll interrupt you, but remember you talked about a good manicurist who lives in the center. Please tell me what kind of nails she does.”

Be positive

There are people literally saturated with negativity. No matter what topic you take, they start complaining. Do a good deed - try to direct the conversation with these people in a positive direction. For example, you can give a compliment or talk about some pleasant incident.

Discuss - this is how to discuss art

Of course, some people cannot live without discussing other people's lives. But in the end, you can discuss films and TV series. Here you can give free rein to emotions and analysis, and no one will get hurt. Don't be afraid to direct the person to such a conversation. Ask: “What TV series are you watching now?” And you will immediately find someone to discuss in this series.

Find a hobby

It has been subtly noticed that other people’s lives are discussed by people who have little going on in their own lives. So it’s not a problem at all to find something to do for the soul. Think about it: maybe you are really bored, since you are discussing a colleague’s new boyfriend or your former boss’s affair.

Eliminate communication with gossips

You can become infected by spreading gossip. Especially if someone regularly dumps a mountain of information on you about the personal lives of other people. Such people can be found everywhere - in a team or in the neighborhood. As a result, spreading gossip can bog you down. To prevent this from happening, try to communicate less with people who spread gossip. The shorter the communication lasts, the less likely you are to pass on gossip to other people.

Limit your time limits

If you cannot get rid of the gossiper because she is your close relative or boss, try to at least reduce the time you spend gossiping. Let's say you can't interrupt the person right away. But after a couple of minutes of listening to the “main idea,” so to speak, you can do this without harming your relationship.

Links

• Gossiping is not good, social network myJulia.ru
• 10 ways to make your life happier, social network myJulia.ru

Post update. I would rewrite this post a little, because... It's a bit too chaotic and everything is in a heap. But I don’t have time yet, and I don’t have a coherent understanding of how best to rewrite it, so I’ll leave it as it is, there’s a lot of valuable information here.

The topic of non-judgment is one of the most difficult to implement. No matter how much it is worked on, it still spirals out again and again in new situations, and begins to spoil the mood and eat up energy.

But often condemnation sits within us for years towards a loved one - parents, children, partner, friends.

Probably, we condemn our loved ones or those towards whom we act as rescuers most often and most strongly. The most common reason is that they live in the wrong way, with the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, for ruining their lives, for not loving us enough or not loving us the right way. But the rescuers there have their own hellish triangle - Karmpana “Rescuer - Persecutor - Victim”, along which they can walk along the edges at least several times a day, at least once every six months. And even if at first there were seemingly harmless motives for salvation without obvious condemnation, then still later a more obvious condemnation appears, because the rescuer always considers the other to be more flawed by default. There are also twists of consciousness and psychodefense that the other person is stronger and more advanced, but the rescuer feels stronger. And often there is not only condemnation for the fact that another is leading some kind of self-destructive course of action, not for the actions of that person as such, but for the attitude towards him, the rescuer, which he does not like.

It often happens like this: people themselves mess up - they are in an imbalance in relationships, stick to someone who doesn’t want to have something in common with them, teach them how to live, start arguments, quarrels and scandals, get into the boundaries of other people, and then respond receive behavior they don't like and begin to judge that person.

The topic of condemnation has many things to do with it - our external locus of control, our own egoism, categoricalness, pride (a sense of self-importance). It is connected both with our capacity and with the ability to switch.

Usually the person whom we condemn and with whom we conduct dialogues in our heads is the one on whom we ourselves depend, the one whose figure is large enough. Some try to practice forgiveness in relation to the one they condemn, that is, to stand on top of him in a crown (if we speak in terms of Evolution, i.e. psychoprotection) “I am stronger,” but often they call even more strongly to the person and all this situations internal. In general, if you stand on top and put on a “white coat”, something like “objectively I’m right, he’s wrong, but I’m smarter, that’s why I won’t get to the bottom of him with my truth” - this means closing off a lot of the real truth, and not this “objective” one. And when you don’t see the truth, there’s nothing to work with. For example, why a wife condemns her husband is a huge question with a lot of nuances. But simply editing the locus and dividing the boundaries will help, even without understanding what and how things really are.

I really like this piece from Marina Komissarova:

“Why, time after time, people with borderline bugs attribute to me calls to “forgive your parents.”

I never called for this, you confused me with some kind of saint.

Are you a judge at the Last Judgment, so that your highest forgiveness is worth something?

There is no need to forgive your parents, this is also a merging of boundaries, just move away from them if for some reason you cannot communicate normally with them, if they have tormented you before or are tormenting you now. It is better to help frail parents if they took care of you as a child, this is the norm for an adult. But if you were kept in a closet and beaten, you don’t need to care about such parents, well, to hell with them.

And there is no need to forgive them either. You just need to let go.»
This is from the article “Sadistic Parents”.

This topic is also strongly related to borders.- we believe that if it seems to us that we know what is best, then we have the right to interfere in the lives of other people, to dictate something to them “from above.” Or remain silent, shy or afraid to speak up, but at the same time condemn and dictate within yourself.

And he also conveys this idea well, why there is no need to judge others (and also yourself). Why is this really not necessary in life?

Here's how he discusses this topic:

Why is condemnation the destruction of oneself?

The most important idea that Alexander Palienko is trying to convey to us is when we judge someone, we take their problems and sins upon ourselves.

We are destroying ourselves, our health, our future, and bringing our old age closer.

Instead of solving our own problems, approaching the implementation of our own planned program, we solve other people’s problems and shorten our lives.

So lately I've been trying to remember and ask myself the question - Do I really want to take on his problems right now?

In our selfishness and sense of self-importance, we believe that there is some kind of universal solution that is equally good for us and for that completely different person. And we try to bring him to him, or we simply condemn him when he behaves differently - for example, he deceives, causes pain, or otherwise, in our opinion, acts badly.

But in reality, each person has his own, unique path - which was conceived long before he was born on this planet (this I believe). He has his own genes, his own childhood, a set of his own qualities and shortcomings, which, as he develops, he must transform into advantages. Don't compare yourself to him. Everything is completely different from conception and even before. Every, every minute of his and your life.

This is his program that he follows, good or bad. His bumps and lessons. His gigantic path, which consists of millions of seconds, many even before his birth. Your own path and level of consciousness, which you have no idea about.

Ask yourself a question: Do I really, not knowing what path he took, how he passed it, what tasks he had on this earth, what people he encountered all these years, do I consider myself the right to dictate to him what to do, or simply the right to judge him?

Is it accurate? I consider myself such a global super expert that at this point in his life I would now be much better than him, and would I have acted somehow better and more effectively for the entire huge chain of his life at all stages?

Well, if yes, if you think that you think that after all this you would have acted definitely better than him in such a situation, having gone all the way... Then, probably, you have the right to get his problems and show this person and everyone how you have to go through them)

So far I have drawn some conclusion from what Alexander is talking about.

Here's from him:

"When we

condemn
let's adjust
we're offended
let's consult
making excuses
we are in a hurry (about someone)

we begin to live by the laws of this person and the one to whom we make excuses, whom we adapt to, whom we condemn.”

Stay on high frequency energy

Besides the fact that we take other people's problems upon ourselves, we are also switching to low-frequency energy- this means that we create not the most pleasant events in our lives instead of those that could have happened if we had maintained a neutral attitude and positivity.

Remember the movie "The Secret"? There is also an excellent book “Power” - I will also definitely make a separate post about it, it contains many quotes from famous physicists and Nobel laureates about how this world actually works and logically justified why you should not switch to low-frequency waves.

This is exactly what the 4th “magic” rule of Alexander Palienko is about.

“Looking for the good in everything. The ability to speak creatively and think, then the program of creation begins.”

“Our society has raised us in such a way that we are accustomed to looking for flaws in everything and condemning others. Remember what you talk about when you get together in a company? As a rule, there is an expression of dissatisfaction with everything: from neighbors to the government and the president. And the body tunes in to the energy that we constantly use. After all, if you take a cigarette from a smoker, the body will demand it out of habit, even though it is harmful.

When we live at the level of condemnation, we switch to low-frequency vibrations that create negative events. You need to learn to see something positive in all situations: sunny weather, a bird singing beautifully, a passerby wearing a suit that fits perfectly, etc.

By doing this regularly, we program the subconscious to be positive, and the brain begins to snatch positive events from the world around us. The ability to look for beauty in the world, embedded in the subconscious, will guide you through life.

When you come to the store, you will find the best shoes, and when looking for a job, you will choose the most interesting and highly paid one, etc.

When you learn to see the positive in life, no matter what happens, you will understand that with the bad comes good. S. Lazarev (author of the books “Diagnostics of Karma”) has a phrase: “If you feel good today, then look back. That’s where, when you felt bad, your good was laid.”

And here’s another from one of Alexander’s last speeches:

“When I looked at people who have large debts and a lot of loans hanging on them, it turned out that they have three points in their behavior: bragging, giving advice and judging. These three points drive us into loans and debts.»

Loss of energy

When judging someone, we engage in internal dialogue, walk around and say many, many times everything that remains unspoken and what we think in relation to the person. We take a huge amount of energy from ourselves completely in vain. And the more the significance of this event and the figure of this person grows, the more energy flows into this hole.

We see it in ourselves

There is also a very common opinion (which I still have difficulty understanding)). That everyone around us is mirror people. That if we did not have some quality in us, we would not see them in another. That most people in our lives appear specifically to point us to something.

Well, at least the egocentric attracts the egocentric, the infantile - the infantile - I believe in that.

And Alexander Palienko also talks about this:

“If we forgave someone, and he does it again, it means we didn’t forgive him the last time. Forgiveness means accepting yourself in such a situation. Accept yourself as the same. Accept this in yourself.

If something annoys or angers us, we become angry or condemn it within ourselves.

As soon as we work through all this, the subconscious will begin to present other situations where we need to work on our categoricalness and bring it into multitasking.”

About weak people (vampires)

It is usually extremely difficult not to judge weak people or those who constantly try to provoke you into negative emotions and are fueled by them.

“Weak people (vampires): their way of life is to complain, have empty conversations, talk about the past, adjust, be offended, make excuses, feel guilty, judge everyone around, feel sorry for themselves.

When we help the weak, we become weaker ourselves, and make these people even more degraded.
When we help the strong, we become stronger.

Difference between the WEAK and the STRONG. In fact, everyone who is weak but STRONG can admit it to themselves, and try to take responsibility and change what happens to them. That is, the strong also vampirize from time to time, one way or another, but they admit it slightly.

THE WEAK are those who are not going to change something, take responsibility and admit to themselves that they behave this way. They try to make excuses or blame everyone around for the fact that things are so bad for them. For the weak, this is a specific way of thinking and living, and it is from here that they draw energy for themselves.”

There will be a separate post about weak people, but for now the point is that, as far as possible, it is better to get rid of most weak people in your life. And then condemnation will also leave you. All the same, all the condemnation will not go away from life, it will be enough to work through) But life will become much easier and more pleasant.

But in general, I have a hard time imagining such a strong person who tolerates the weak and aching for a long time. Unless the strong one is wearing the crown of the Rescuer, and then this situation is quite useful for him to realize this moment. And so - you always want to get rid of it as quickly as possible and no longer communicate with such people.

What to do

So far I am drawing the following conclusions for myself:

- don’t get hung up and learn to switch quickly, learn to separate boundaries and get away from the person COMPLETELY. Accept his right to do as he pleases.

Adjusting your locus of control to internal means not relying on other people in your life and not overthinking their lives and actions, not exaggerating, not getting hung up on the influence and ALLEGED influence (which is probably much less than it seems) of other people’s actions on you. Realize and admit, voice to yourself that I blame, condemn, scold another person and stop and think about what I can do about this situation to make ME feel better

- make your life more eventful, pump up YOUR resources, so that there is no time to concentrate on the little things. Helping other people, altruism helps to reduce the degree of egocentrism

- to be aware of our infantilism and egocentrism, our desire to “climb into arms”, which perhaps someone did not like and in response we received behavior that we condemn, OUR dependence on a person, our desire to get something from him - that is including his approval, his inappropriate behavior

- learn gratitude and respect for people and their contributions to our lives, of their own free will

- if you judge someone and cannot stop, try to remove this communication or this person from your life, if it is not useful, and if possible, switch your attention to other interesting things.

Reduce the degree of tragedy.

In general, work exclusively on yourself.

In this article I lumped everything together) Esotericism, psychology, my own conclusions. Maybe one thing will help someone reduce the number of judgments in their life, and something else will help someone else.

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Good day!Recently I made a decision to purposefully gain Life through feelings. Not occasionally, but constantly and honestly with yourself. Now I understand that I have stopped feeling again. Great, I remembered again. And now I notice that when I begin to discuss someone myself or participate in the discussion of other people by someone, all my attention is directed to analyzing the actions of the other person. The disadvantage of this is that the discussion, as a rule, has a constant high probability of transition to condemnation, which happens in the overwhelming majority of cases.

And ostensibly for good purposes, ostensibly so as not to repeat the mistakes of another person, but over time he noticed the following:

1. discussing other people, especially noticing their negative characteristics and wrong actions, is very pleasing to my consciousness, which is a destructive part of my energy structure;
2. Almost always the discussion proceeds or immediately begins with condemnation. In this case, attention is directed to finding the other person’s flaws. I didn’t notice anything good or constructive in this, and not even once, although the background implied by consciousness is usually just that;
3. discussion of another person is accompanied by close attention on my part, and therefore I do not see my mistakes at all, that is, there is no really constructive process taking place, no work on myself is happening. And on others, as I concluded for myself, there is no point in working at all. And not only does it make no sense, but for spiritual development it is a complete loss. By the way, my sister also came to the conclusion that there is no point in this and no positive effect. Regardless of me. She also works on herself, but uses a slightly different presentation of the knowledge base about a person. I will not specifically specify which one, so as not to cause a preconceived perception in you;
4. and the most important and big minus, as I already said, during a discussion of another person, I don’t remember Life with feelings at all. Now I remember again. Here you go, I’m writing a constructive article and remembering my feelings. In discussing other things, there is very little chance of this, since it is not a constructive approach that is being used, but a destructive one. For myself, I still don’t see any chance for a discussion of another person to be constructive. Never noticed it.

The only option, I remember, is only when I sincerely try to justify the actions of another person who is proposed to be condemned. This, I noticed, is the only constructive option, and it is automatically accompanied by a positive feeling.

It’s great to structure your conclusions like this. Somehow, even before, I did not give in to a detailed analysis of the topic of discussion of other people. And as a result, there was a glimmer in what seemed to be an absolutely doomed topic. Isn't it wonderful? 🙂

How do I personally see the solution to the problem of getting rid of the habit of discussing each other?

Talk only about yourself: about your own experience, about conclusions regarding only yourself, observations exclusively of yourself and only your consciousness. What does this give, as I see for myself? Following:

• By analyzing my personal experience, I identify destructive patterns by which I personally act. By doing so, I increase my chances of being able to allocate my attention more efficiently;
• More often I remember about feeling or, as this process is called in Orthodoxy, about high-quality unceasing prayer;
• speaking about myself, I perform a constructive action, not a destructive one, when I discuss and judge other people;
• I noticed that in a conversation with any person, when I talk exclusively about myself and my shortcomings, the chances of touching the other person’s ego are reduced to zero. Moreover, when I talk about myself and do not hint at the shortcomings of others, the interlocutor perceives the information as openly as possible. And if a person has a question or the topic being discussed is close to him, he himself associates my story with himself. It’s simply incredible and always works! I can conclude for myself that this is a kind of grail of conveying any information, especially that which concerns working on oneself.
• Speaking only about yourself, you can absolutely calmly convey to any person that part of the primordial Knowledge that the situation and direction of the conversation allows. But this should be relaxed, natural, unplanned, without the desire to impose or convince the interlocutor of anything.
• When an interlocutor shares with me some difficult situation for him, and I have my own personal experience or conclusions on this topic, I have an ideal chance to help a person find a way out of the situation without the slightest encroachment on the freedom of choice of his interlocutor. If he is open to finding a way out and is honest enough with himself, he will listen to my experience and take something away from it for himself. In this way, it is possible to avoid such moments of encroachment on a person’s freedom of choice, such as instructions and advice that the person did not ask for. But at the same time, if I want and can helpbrowVeku, I can do this quickly and as efficiently as possible - simply by sharing what I concluded about this for myself personally. Either in the process of gaining similar experience, or in the process of reflection.
  Of course, this should be the sincere, pure truth, and not fiction. And it should not be used as a type of hidden manipulation, as I understand, again for myself.
• Every time I talk about myself, I note that I am working on myself, it is absolutely useful to once again subject my actions to constructive analysis, which means I have a chance to understand something for myself. For example, to conclude for myself what I should probably no longer do, but what I should do in a given situation when solving various problems.
• I humiliate the ego of my consciousness, gaining more freedom and independence from it. As a result, this gives me the opportunity to associate myself less with the primary consciousness, which means there is a chance to be myself longer - as a person, as a spirit.
• I am constantly learning to expose my consciousness, which means its chances of evil secret action are steadily decreasing.
• Thanks to the developed skill of opening up to different people, I am learning to unite with different people, overcoming and preventing separation from them.
• I am feeling, at least at peace. At the same time, I have a minimal risk of slipping into emotions, which, by the way, as I have noticed myself, is constantly accompanied by discussions of other people.
• I reduce the chances for myself of falling into the trap of resting on my laurels while there is still plenty of work to do on myself. That is, I increase my chances of refraining from showing pride.
• All this releases a huge potential of energy spent on combating the consequences of the negativity activated by my attention. For myself, I somehow came to the conclusion that the bulk of my vitality and time is spent fighting the consequences of my wrong choice. It turns out that all I have to do is learn not to invest my attention in negative programs - and my possibilities for Spiritual transformation increase many times over as a result of this.
• So what happens as a result of all these incredibly positive benefits of replacing talking about other people with talking exclusively about your own experiences? As a result of all this, I significantly increase my chances of achieving Spiritual salvation, gaining Eternal Life in the love of God.

What benefits does it give me to replace discussing other people with discussing only my personal experience right now?

A reasonable question. After all, Spiritual salvation, salvation of the Soul, Spiritual liberation and whatever it is called - this is not a matter of one day, as I see for myself. It's a full-time job. I understand this from my own experience. What now? You know, I concluded for myself that God never delays reward for my labors. I find it right here and now. What does this mean?

1. In gaining a greater degree of freedom from your ego structure;
2. as a result, I am less distracted from life by the Spiritual world;
3. as a result, I am happier. Right here and now.

What are the pitfalls?

I noticed that I was trying to relax, which provoked a weakening of control over my distribution of attention and the tricks of my consciousness. And as a result, you can very quickly lose what you have achieved and return to your starting point.

I decided for myself that it was never worth stopping the vigil. Because the choice is how I make it now for myselfMonAndMay, is a certain average value between a certainn-nymquantityequalitymy latest picks. At the same time, I make choices constantly, many thousands of times a day. This is what makes up my dominant choice, which changes with every decision I make. As I see it, this is connected, as a rule, with how I decide for myself to distribute this or that portion of my attention, which happens constantly, because the forces of Allat or simply spiritual forces come to me through the Soul constantly, which means there is a constant their distribution.

Previously, I was mistaken that it was enough to decide something once - and that’s it, everything should work out exactly according to this decision. But this is not the case as I see it myself. That is why the consciousness tries to distract with trifles, petty, absolutely unnecessary thoughts. Because it has experience in switching my attention through small manipulations, thereby turning an unprofitable enterprise with small investments into a profitable one for it and the animal mind system. Of course, this only happens when I succumb to these manipulations. And discussing, and especially condemning, other people is one of my favorite ways to manipulate my animal nature. Because it is addictive, it exalts pride, it nurtures delusions of grandeur. And naturally, the less vigil in spirit I have, the more and longer I associate myself with the primary consciousness, and accordingly, the more often I succumb to the manipulations of the secondary consciousness. For the primary consciousness is stupid, and the secondary consciousness is smart.

You know, while I was writing this article, things became very calm. It became easier to stay vigil, and I began to forget about feelings less often. So yes, I can conclude for myself, I don’t know how many times yet, that constructive thoughts and constructive actions are an incredibly powerful tool that simply works flawlessly and absolutely always!

All the best to you! 🙂

P.S. Today (during the period between writing and proofreading the article), thoughts of condemning one person again came into my mind. I decided to act constructively and began to justify him. And do you know what it turned out to be? When I thought just a little, it turned out that I should be really very grateful to this person, but instead, condemnations arose in my mind, and many times they were given my attention. Thanks to such a simple constructive method, I not only changed my opinion about another person from negative to positive, but also completely got rid of thoughts about him, as well as a number of fears associated with this. This is an indicative experience for me.

And the reason is simple: consciousness always looks at the tops, but never sees the roots. It never cares at all about the truthfulness or logic of the negativity and fears it offers. I have already been convinced of this hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands, of times. And not just me. So I made a conclusion for myself, since consciousness acts actively - well, then I also need to act more actively, since it still surpasses me in at least a number of positions.