She walks like a queen. Straight back. Fashionably and stylishly dressed. The wind blows her hair and lifts her dress in a whirlwind. So she sat down, took out a mirror, looked at it, answered someone, and laughed. There is no doubt that this is a confident woman who knows her worth! Every day, flipping through magazines or sitting in front of the TV, we see such women. We can meet them in everyday life, in a store, at work, and, plunging into the abyss of everyday affairs and worries, we think with regret that for us this is an unattainable ideal, we cannot do this, we will not succeed. But in the depths of my soul, the unresolved question of how to become a confident woman haunts me and no, no, but a small ray of hope will shine, and what if...
Maybe I can, maybe I can...
It will turn out:
- become an interesting conversationalist, confidently express your point of view and not be afraid to prove that you are right
- to become a confident person who has no fear of driving a car, skiing, who is not afraid of darkness and depth, terrible diseases and much more.
- become so confident that you can finally realize your cherished dream.
Go there without knowing where, become that without knowing who
This hope, this unresolved question pushes us to search. The Internet, books, courses - everything has been completed, in my head there are snippets of quotes and lecturers’ voices. “Change your appearance, take care of yourself, get rid of approval addiction..., be bolder and more proactive, think positively.”
Advice, instructions, beliefs. So what's the result? Nothing. The same fear of driving, the same confusion and shyness hinder us when we need to defend our opinion, a lump in the throat when speaking in public, or we fall into a stupor when we need to act decisively. But most importantly, the dream remained a dream.
Why doesn't it work? I know everything, I’ve taken dozens of courses!
But how to become confident is easy copying the gait, smile, gestures, intonation and words of another person? Can something change if you repeat every day “I am the most beautiful”, “I am the most confident”?
Will confidence come from a new haircut and dress, from going to the gym? Deep down, we feel that these actions lift our spirits for a while, but the problem does not solve. Confidence is not a piece of clothing that you put on in the morning and take off in the evening, it is an internal state.
How to become a confident person without cheating on yourself?
Focus not on others, but on your ideal self! And who “you” is, Yuri Burlan’s system-vector psychology helps to figure it out, and she knows everything about people who lack confidence.
For example, the desire for cleanliness, order, perfectly done work and at the same time the fear of making mistakes, not living up to someone’s expectations, shyness is characteristic of a person with an anal vector.
And a person with a visual vector can have a huge range of emotions, impressionability, and at the same time suspiciousness and fears.
Present in the psyche, these two vectors will determine a person’s behavior, thinking and life scenario. Shy, trouble-free, unsure of his choice, dependent on other people's opinions, someone who likes to make a mountain out of a mountain - this is what an anal-visual person can be when he does not know how to correctly use his talents.
An anal-visual woman can be a teacher or doctor, a kind and caring wife and mother. And when she tries to remake herself, it only gets worse - devastation and uncertainty appear. And why all? Because she doesn’t know what she’s capable of - what strength she has inside!
A happy woman is always confident in herself
Any woman will become confident if she's happy, if he embodies his true, natural, and not fictitious desires.
Understanding how our unconscious works, where fears or shyness come from, we make these qualities our allies, we stop breaking ourselves and comparing ourselves with others. The realization comes that all women have different talents, and, in accordance with this, each has its own role. For one it is important to be visible - to walk on the catwalk or play on stage, and for the other - to be a wonderful mother and beloved wife, and only this makes her truly happy.
Many participants in the training on system-vector psychology were able to answer the question of how to become a confident girl and woman. Here are some of the reviews.
— Three rules for a woman’s confidence
— Reasons for women's lack of self-confidence
— How to become a self-sufficient lady: four important points
— 4 simple rules that will help you become satisfied with yourself
- Conclusion
Many people feel envy when they look at confident women. They always stand out from others, they have an even posture, their heads held high, they have confident gestures, but at the same time they look elegant and stylish.
Such ladies are in demand in society, everyone wants to communicate with them. Many try to imitate them and are interested in how to become a confident woman. There are three main points that are part of the image of a confident woman:
1. Ideal well-groomed appearance.
Nothing will help an insecure woman more than a perfect appearance. There are several tips on how you can quickly improve your appearance and see how confident you become, how it will make communication easier and allow you to stand out from other women. Read about it and follow the advice of experts.
2. Correct presentation of your thoughts.
When communicating with people, it is important to monitor your behavior, expression and sentence construction.
It is important to learn how to start a conversation correctly and look decent.
The main points are often called the following:
Direct look
Facial expressions
Posture
Gestures
3. Special behavior when communicating.
It is important to monitor the expression and facial expressions of your face. With the help of facial expressions, you can quite easily express friendliness; all you need to do is smile.
Try to practice expressing your emotions near the mirror, and simply hide unnecessary ones from your face.
Smooth posture and feet shoulder-width apart will give confidence to any person.
Be sure to control your gestures.
Reasons for women's lack of self-confidence
The main reasons for self-doubt:
1. Ignorance of one’s “I”.
During her life, a woman goes through a number of roles: girl, girl, woman, wife, mother, employee, grandmother. And at every stage of life, she identifies herself with the role she performs. She “merges” with the role so much that if she is taken away, the woman will be confused and will not be able to find her “I”.
For example , when identifying herself with children after they have grown up and no longer need round-the-clock care, a woman loses the meaning of life, which becomes a big blow to her internal mechanisms. If life had its own goals, then as children grow up, life will not lose meaning, only the emphasis on being busy will shift.
2. Lack of meaning in life.
Lack of meaning in life causes anxiety and uncertainty. The woman does not know “where she is going” and “why she needs this.” All actions are accompanied by a lack of positivity and desire. While a woman who knows the highest goal of her life is filled with positivity, confidence in herself and her future.
3. Live only with your head.
If a woman succumbs to progress, the latest technologies and begins to live only with her “head,” joy disappears from her life. Emotions do not burst out, intuition freezes, this can “result” in a woman’s uncertainty. When she cannot explain some action from a scientific point of view, her built inner world will be shaken.
4. Ignorance of your values.
Lack of personal values leads to internal conflict. Without a foundation, a person cannot build his future. He may be lost between the choice: work or family and not understand how he can combine them together and live happily.
5. Personal boundaries.
It is difficult for a person who lacks self-confidence to refuse people around him; he cannot simply say “no,” as a result of which his own interests fade into the background. The inability to refuse leads to the need to perform various tasks that cause discomfort. The constant feeling of which makes you feel uncertain about the possibilities of achieving your goals.
How to become a self-sufficient lady: four important points
1) Work on yourself.
First, start by working on yourself, your character, your habits. Let's say you are a person by nature, prone to shyness and gentleness. Don't be upset! After all, self-confidence goes well with these qualities, resulting in a very charming and pleasant girl.
After all, confidence without such character traits makes a woman a bitch, calculating and cold. The attitude of others towards you may well be friendly and welcoming, and confidence is exactly that invisible force that all women need.
However, you must be able to set your own assessment objectively and strive to improve it all the time. Also remember: self-respect is the step from which respect for others begins. Always tell yourself: “I deserve the best! And not because I’m special, but because I’m me!”
2) Don’t lower your own standards.
Your own bar should always be set high, and the standards you set for yourself should be high as well. Never relax or reduce them. Of course, you need to love yourself under any circumstances, but you must agree, how much more pleasant and easier it is to do it when you actually have something to love for.
If possible, try to be the best in everything - at work, at school, while at the same time strive to always look excellent. If you have thought out every detail of your wardrobe, every highlight that makes up your image, then you can say with complete confidence: “I look stunning!”
Having set high enough standards for yourself, and making every effort to meet them, you can rest assured that everyone around you will begin to treat you with no less respect, because you, the new one, deserve to be treated in the most noble way. You need to learn to recognize lies, insincerity, and not allow anyone, even your best friends and close relatives, to take advantage of the fact that you treat them well.
Only by stopping any attempts to take advantage of you can you make others respect you. At the same time, you can rest assured that such decisive actions will make people remember it for a long time, and they will no longer try to do this to you.
3) Be active.
All your concerns and fears need to be collected together and thrown away. There is a very good psychological technique: take a blank sheet of paper, write down all your experiences and concerns, you can use an ordinary list, then take this sheet... and burn it. During this peculiar ritual, imagine that all your fears are burned along with the paper: the fear that you may not be understood, not heard, considered funny, awkward, and so on.
Practice speaking in front of a group, in front of an audience. It is best to do this in front of a mirror, alone.
Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, don’t let it undermine the confidence that has begun to appear in you. Yes, you can learn from mistakes, this truth is not just beautiful words. Take any mistake as a new lesson, very useful, let the smile never leave your lips, and boldly move on, forward.
4) Do not doubt your abilities.
But initially everyone has confidence, but everyone takes this confidence for granted and does not use it to the fullest. Many people find it more convenient to pretend to be a loser, no matter how ridiculous it may look from the outside. This is how they try to relieve themselves of unnecessary responsibility: “What can I take from me?” Maybe this life position is convenient for someone, but not for you, on your way to developing your own confidence. Constantly remind yourself: “I can do it, I can do it!” I believe in myself, I believe in my success!”
Even the most self-sufficient, confident and independent women have doubts. There are moments in everyone's life when they completely lose faith in themselves and their abilities. Your task is to prevent such moments from happening in your life, even if only for a short time. What strengthens your self-confidence is what you can do best.
And the last thing - do not change very dramatically, you should not radically, at one moment, change your entire life, its usual way of life. It is very difficult to change a character that has developed over the years, and this must be done gradually, step by step. Organically introduce the standards that you have set for yourself into your world so that those around you will get used to the new you. Then, over time, you yourself will get used to the new image. The first changes will give you the first confidence - and then your transformation will happen by itself.
4 simple rules that will help you become satisfied with yourself
The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site
The world can only obey those people who believe in themselves and their strengths. Life in general is a funny thing, because in it it is often not the one who is physically strong who achieves more, but the one who has a strong spirit. Some try to hide in a corner, hide, hide from people in the event of any, even the most insignificant failure, while others remain calm and continue to believe in themselves even when their whole world is collapsing. What's the secret? Do you really need to be born strong?
Of course not. Anyone can become exactly who they want. Is it difficult to do? Yes, it is difficult, but if you can believe in yourself, then everything in this life will become simple and accessible to you. The game is worth the candle, which means the question “How to become stronger?” relevant for everyone. Winners are not born, but made! Luck only accompanies those who believe in themselves.
And more confident in yourself
Every person has something they are proud of. It could be a building he erected in the center of a big city or an impeccable game of checkers, it could be a signed million-dollar contract or a victory in a small, insignificant competition - it doesn’t matter at all what the object of your pride is, since the more important thing is that you have it There is. Constantly remind yourself of your victory, and also remind other people of this (just don’t overdo it). This will give you self-confidence and allow you to achieve new victories that you can also be proud of in the future.
How to become stronger and more confident? You just need to learn how to set goals. Remember that you can’t just go and learn to fly: first a person learns to crawl, then to walk, then to run, and then he can begin to seriously think about flying. Move from simple to complex - this will help you become more confident. The scheme is very simple, but it actually works.
Don't be discouraged by failures. The fact is that there is no person in the world who has never lost. Strong people differ from weak people not because they win all the time, but because they don’t give up. When they find themselves defeated. How to become stronger? Take failures as a gift from fate that will help you reassess the situation and begin to act more correctly.
How to become more confident? Do what scares you. Something that you previously thought was truly crazy. How else would you like to get rid of your fears? Look them in the eye and they will disappear. Don't believe me? Take it and try it yourself!
Appearance is very important. A woman who is thinking about how to become strong in character must first of all make her appearance simply impeccable. Why? That’s because we often feel exactly the way we look. Anyone who puts on an expensive suit will immediately straighten their shoulders, as this suit will increase their self-confidence. A man should definitely play sports. Firstly, it will make him stronger physically, and this will immediately affect his self-confidence, and secondly, because even the slightest achievements in the field of sports will make him proud of himself. A woman should not spare money on herself, as expensive things will help her feel more significant and powerful.
How to become stronger? Choose for yourself and act exactly as this person would act. Don’t waste your time on trifles, but choose a truly worthy person for this.
Any cherished dream can give you strength and confidence. A person develops only when he has something to strive for. This dream should not be easy to achieve, as its fulfillment may have a bad effect on you. Let it be distant and inspiring.
It is possible and even necessary to become strong and confident. Happiness in life is difficult to achieve, but it is even more difficult to maintain it. The world cannot be conquered so easily - you need to fight it.
Many people feel envy when they look at confident women. They always stand out from others, they have an even posture, their heads held high, they have confident gestures, but at the same time they look elegant and stylish.
Such ladies are in demand in society, everyone wants to communicate with them. Many try to imitate them and are interested in how to become a confident woman.
There are three main points that are part of the image of a confident woman:
- Ideal well-groomed appearance.
- Correct presentation of your thoughts.
- Special behavior when communicating.
Confidence in your appearance
Nothing will help an insecure woman more than a perfect appearance. There are several tips on how you can quickly improve your appearance and see how confident you become, how it will make communication easier and allow you to stand out from other women.
You should start your first step in improving your appearance at the hairdresser, because appearance is a component of the image.
It's important to update your wardrobe. Moreover, before going to the store, you should think about what you can buy for different occasions - for parties, for the office, for sports. It is important to purchase beautiful lingerie if you are interested in how to be a confident woman.
It is worth visiting the spa, trying a massage, solarium, and various facial masks. However, this can be repeated at home by visiting a cosmetics store and buying everything you need to improve your skin.
It is also important to take care of your figure. Sport gives you vivacity, energy, and most importantly removes extra pounds.
Communication Basics
If it is important for you to know how to become a confident woman, when communicating with people it is important to monitor your behavior, expression and sentence construction.
It is important to learn how to start a conversation correctly and look decent.
The main points are often called the following:
- Direct look.
- Facial expressions.
- Posture.
- Gestures.
An important way that helps to win is looking into the eyes. Learn not to look away when you feel uncomfortable or unsure.
In order to be taken only seriously, it is important to hold your head high and look straight, this will allow you to communicate not only with phrases, but also with your eyes. A confident woman will never take her eyes off her interlocutor. This will not only help you feel confident, but also helps you read the other person’s thoughts.
Gestures and facial expressions
It is important to monitor the expression and facial expressions of your face. With the help of facial expressions, you can quite easily express friendliness; all you need to do is smile.
However, for many, the expression of anger, anger or irritation occurs too obviously and uncontrollably. Try to practice expressing your emotions near the mirror, and simply hide unnecessary ones from your face.
The mirror will also help you decide on your pose. Smooth posture and feet shoulder-width apart will give confidence to any person. By determining the optimal distance, you can feel more comfortable with your interlocutor.
Be sure to control your gestures. Don't gesticulate too much, as this can distract your interlocutors from your speech. Keeping your arms at your sides or folded over your chest is also wrong. Learn to gesture, but don't look at your hands so they don't distract you.
Correct expression of thoughts
Before you learn how to become a real woman, learn to correctly express your thoughts and defend your opinion.
This is quite difficult, but try to find the right words and construct your sentences correctly.
There are a number of rules:
- Start your sentence in first person.
- Give me a hint.
- Cross.
- Be specific.
- Repeat.
- Don't lose your composure.
Initially, when constructing a sentence, you cannot start with the address “you” or “you”, because in this case only criticism and complaints will be heard. Try to start any sentences with the words “I think”, “I believe”, “I will be glad”. Also, a defensive reaction is provoked by questions using the words “why.”
If a person is confused in his thoughts, help him, give him some advice, this will make communication easier. Try to culturally suppress from the very beginning those words that are unpleasant to you. Avoid rude remarks.
Try to predict a person's words or actions and stop the person in time using special expressions. Try not to offend the person. Tell him you appreciate him, but don't need his help.
A confident woman always expresses herself definitely, without the words “maybe” or “I’ll think about it.” These phrases often look pleasant, but at the same time give a person unnecessary hope.
A great way is repetition, it allows you to convey your opinion to the person who does not want to hear you. If they are trying to force something on you, then calmly repeat your vision of the situation. For those who are interested in how to become a confident woman, it is important to stick to your points of view and not give up.
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Women's emotionality and impressionability are expressed in different ways, and there are thousands of evidence of this on the Internet. Requests from the series and How to become smarter are proof of girls’ serious concern for their psycho-emotional state and critical assessment of their own IQ. Standard scenario: boys worry about bad luck, girls worry about an imaginary lack of intelligence. Although both groups are characteristic of both groups to the same extent.
To become simply beautiful and smart or to increase self-esteem - what is more priority?
To underestimate your abilities and underestimate yourself means losing the future without a fight. This is the sin of a lot of modest virgins who do not believe in their own “interestingness” - external, intellectual, spiritual. But in vain. Nature has endowed gentle ladies with chances of victory no less generously than courageous knights. To reveal the natural potential of a woman, create a genetically dependent person who does not reach the status of a self-sufficient, free person.
A girl-wife-mother needs to become strong and gain self-confidence in the name of three strategic goals:
- overcome emotional and material lack of freedom and become the mistress of the situation, and not a person for auxiliary roles;
- master the skills of organizing your internal forces in order to achieve success in all personal and career areas;
- master the tactics of turning existing shortcomings into advantages that simplify solving life problems.
Such a self-affirming fan of positivity will provide the opportunity, without paying attention to minor flaws in appearance, the innate type of temperament, the specifics of mastering knowledge and skills, to concentrate on performing reasonably selected, sweet and comfortable duties. It is much more pleasant to arrange life in your own way, receiving pleasure and joy from your place in it, than to engage in tedious and unsatisfying functions.
Having substantiated the need to cultivate self-sufficiency, we will specify the steps to acquire the characteristics necessary for this. Psychoanalysts experienced in moving toward a “set of self-esteem” present them in the form of 10 “links of success.”
- 1. Do not spare yourself, your beloved, time and effort. Take care of yourself. Without the conviction that you are attractive, you cannot move forward. Believe in the perfection of your reflection.
- 2. Don’t be puzzled by the fact that someone is more beautiful, smarter, more worthy than you. You and the object that has declared itself brighter are simply at different stages of growth. The steps he has passed are ahead of you - they are within your reach.
- 3. Resist the temptation of pride. You are not better than others - you are just more capable and have outperformed someone. Respect and emphasize the importance of others to you - and they will show respect to you too.
- 4. Apply. Leave what happened in the past, and move on from regrets to building the desired prospects.
- 5. Get rid of suspicions of your inferiority, leave the shell of a disadvantaged chick. An unhappy person begging for compassion is not your lot. Look for reserves for revival.
- 6. Don’t lie to yourself, be sincere and honest in confessing and qualifying personal actions. Telling yourself the truth means laying the foundation of sincerity in your relationships with the rest of the world.
- 7. Trust your intuition, but do not get carried away by unbridled fantasizing about words and opinions. Don’t try to “augment” what has been said by thinking out what the author has left out.
- 8. Surround yourself with people whose proximity makes you happy. Make your life easier. If the work or the team is not satisfying, or it becomes burdensome, change your profession and circle of friends.
- 9. . Start reading and watching useful stories. Grow professionally, expand your horizons, train your brain with logical exercises, gradually making them more complex.
- 10. Learn to recognize the essence of phenomena and separate the essential from the secondary. React adequately to the facts, do not cross out the result with the release of random emotions. Try to think rationally.
This set of recommendations is aimed at developing a competent line of behavior. Armed with it, you can achieve your goal without straining yourself too much. The main thing is for a woman who is determined to love herself and increase her self-esteem to decide on her destinations and learn a number of constructive techniques. Without being distracted along the way by unpleasant and postponing actions. And since our global plans are inseparable from family ones, we will dwell separately on the art of conquering and holding men’s hearts.
How to show intelligence and wisdom in relationships with men?
- Don’t get tired of demonstrating your conviction in your beauty and attractiveness - and your partner will cast aside the slightest doubt about the impeccability of your appearance.
- and accomplishments, but don’t constantly remind them of them. A man is flattered by the knowledge that reliable support for his girlfriend would not hurt.
- , and if you don’t quite match the chosen one in terms of knowledge and skills, work on your IQ reserve. This is real.
- Determine your boyfriend's area of interest and expand your knowledge in this area: Internet resources are at your disposal.
- During the courtship period, use a question-answer system. Speak clearly, listen patiently. Young people value attentive interlocutors.
- Discuss any misunderstandings (especially those that are ambiguously interpreted). Speak directly, without omissions, do not overuse hints - guys will not understand them.
- Use cunning and ingenuity in choosing topics and formulating questions so that it is difficult for the participant to avoid answering.
- If you have gotten to know your friend well and the relationship seems promising to you, show that you value him, but expect a reciprocal feeling.
Let’s complete the sample recommendation for studying the essence of a potential life partner with an attitude for the legitimate “halves” of successful husbands. The one who strives to become a confident and self-sufficient woman next to a male businessman and a male politician must be fully armed and strictly adhere to special behavioral norms. A few basic phrases about them are below.
Get ready to forget about petty grievances, don’t get irritated and support your loved one during the tense stages of his career epic. Tune in to the continuous process of maintaining the intellectual and cultural bar at a stable height. The wife is obliged to improve together with her husband and give the impression of being the closest, most understanding, irreplaceable ally, equal to him in everything. Only then is the marriage unbreakable. Be smart, have full personality and be proud of yourself!
