How to ask are you working? We need recognition

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Cinema as an art appeared relatively recently, but has already become closely intertwined with our lives. Many people, due to the rush of our time, have not gone to the theater, gallery or museum for years. However, it is difficult to imagine a person who has not watched a series or movie for at least a month. Film art is a synthesis of theater, music, visual arts and literature. Thus, it allows even the busiest person, who does not have time to go to theaters and galleries, to be closer to art and improve spiritually.

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Programmer. I have hated this question for ten years now, and every year I dislike it more and more. Why? Among technically savvy people, this question does not cause me any problems; I can even afford to answer “web programmer.” But when this question is asked to me by a friend of a relative’s sister, who is over 40 and who hardly knows the meaning of a computer, I am ready to say any profession - cook, doctor, musician - just not “programmer”. And okay, when at this point the conversation moves into a different direction, but the leading question “what do you do” puts me into an even greater stupor. A person who doesn't know the difference between the Internet and a browser wants to know what I do as a programmer. You can, of course, boldly answer “I’m programming” and end the conversation there, but there are some very persistent ones - “what are you programming.”

At one of these moments I started thinking. I have a friend who is a design engineer by profession. I once watched him being asked about his profession, and after modestly answering “engineer,” all he was told was “well done.” Why didn’t they tell me “well done”, but started asking me more details? There are different engineers, there is a process engineer, a design engineer, and so on. Why didn’t this woman ask my friend what kind of engineer he was? Perhaps she believes that a programmer is a person sitting at a computer and playing Dotka, or maybe she simply does not understand programming, so she became interested? Alas, she also doesn’t understand engineering of anything.

The story continued when it came time to meet his girlfriend’s parents. When asked about my profession, I decided to avoid these hardening questions and decided to answer simply and more specifically - layout designer. I shouldn't have said that. My girlfriend is a designer, and my parents associate layout only with the layout of a book, so they were very surprised. “Are you a designer too?” - they asked me, to which I replied “no, I’m a programmer.” Twenty-five again, “what are you doing” - and blah blah blah. I don’t understand these people, they want answers that will not bring any clarity, they will only confuse. To ask about this, you need to at least know that in addition to VKontakte, there is something else, that the Internet is not only a social network.

However, I didn’t undertake to somehow solve this problem until another incident happened. My friend, a system administrator by profession, when meeting someone, asked the question “who do you work for?” “programmer” answered. This surprised me and I decided to ask why “programmer” and not “system administrator”. Actually, then I listened to a retelling of a painfully familiar story, only the system administrator had to choose the lesser evil, because telling who a “sysadmin” is to someone for whom it will be a secret that the sites are located on servers is still a pleasure.

This creates an interesting dilemma. For your own people you can be a Java programmer, system administrator or layout designer, but for others you are a “programmer”. It’s especially pleasing when friends, having learned that you are a “programmer,” joyfully say, “my grandson is also a programmer.” Naturally, it doesn’t matter that the grandson is an applied programmer and we have as much in common as between a baker and a neurologist. These family affairs are especially pleasing: “he didn’t help his mother’s cousin’s second cousin with his studies, but he also applied to be a programmer.” Of course, the “programmer” does not generalize completely different directions, but they are set up for cooperation - a web developer will be able to write something on what an application programmer will write for him, but this does not mean that they are interchangeable. I honestly tried to explain this to my relatives and friends, I even tried to announce what JavaScript is, but, alas, their faces at the end of the conversation very ambiguously conveyed something in the spirit of “I didn’t understand anything, but this is probably cool.”

How to solve this problem? On your own - no way. This problem can be solved in two ways - by increasing the technical literacy of the population (which is unlikely, because all non-programmers don’t care what a programmer is) and by describing your profession as something other than “programmer”. When people begin to distinguish between areas - web developer, application programmer, system administrator, information specialist. security, etc., at least the most annoying incident in the life of most programmers – the “tyzhprogrammer” syndrome – will no longer exist. It would not be bad to bring professional programming to at least the level of medicine. Of course, there are plenty of “tyzhdoctor” there too, but most at least understand that the neurologist they know is not particularly versed in the structure of the heart, although he knows the layer of knowledge he needs about it. That is, when at least a significant part of people understand that you, as a web developer, cannot really help them with a burnt-out motherboard, life will become a little easier.

P.S. The post is not a complaint or a plea for help, it is just reasoning out loud. Thanks to those who left their opinions on this topic in the comments.

Hello. Yaroslav Samoilov is in touch.

Today I want to tell you how to correctly answer a question that is often present on a first date: where do you work?

Where do you work?

It would seem like a trivial question. Well, he wants to know how you make a living. So what?

If you answer something flashy like “I have my own business” or “I’m the director blah blah blah”, you will attract men who care about your money.

Remember, attracting any man at any cost is not your goal.

On the first date it is important to determine who is in front of you - or the one who should be avoided on the tenth road. And now I’ll tell you how to do this using the answer to the question “Where do you work?”

Correct answer to the question about place of work

Even if you have a leadership position or are a successful businesswoman, you should not brag or boast about it.

Moreover, you shouldn’t make things up if the income situation is so-so.

Calmly, gently, without challenge. In this case, you need to carefully look at the man’s reaction.

Bad response from a man

Yes, there is a chance that after such an answer the man’s eyes will turn red, the veins in his neck will swell and steam will come out of his ears.

Because how can it be that a woman doesn’t work?

After all, he grew up in a family where his mother was a strong woman who worked three jobs to provide for the family. And she managed to cook borscht. And here on you - "I don't work".

“What kind of woman is this? Is it that I will have to support her if we get together? No, it won’t work that way.”

After “digesting” the information received, such a man may even say something like, “You mean you don’t work? How is this? What do you live on?” It may offend you that you are almost a girl of easy virtue.

In general, you will immediately understand that this is not the one you need.

If a man believes that a woman should be independent and earn her own living, there is no need to try to convince him, and certainly no need to argue with him. Just politely thank them for being open and leave.

Therefore the reaction will be calm. There will be no bulging eyes or expression of bewilderment on the face.

Yes, he can clarify purely formally: “So, what do you do?” To which you can answer something like: “Well, I take care of myself,” “I have a hobby,” “I’m a freelancer.” Although this will not be so important for him.

This will be the first sign that this is a worthy man. A man who earns enough or strives to do so does not worry whether the woman has a job.

The answer to “Where do you work” is a “normal” detector

This is a simple but effective trick for a first date that few people know about.

But you're lucky. Now it is in your arsenal. This means that the likelihood of once again getting involved in a relationship with the “wrong” man becomes much less.

Let me remind you that if you often come across poor people on dates with the mindset described in the first “bad” option, then perhaps you should think about how you manage to attract them.

The most interesting articles by Yaroslav Samoilov:

Hello colleagues,
I’ve been asking myself this question for several years now, but now it’s getting worse. The first year in the market I didn’t ask myself this question, because I was impressed by the book about Jesse Livermore, the traders seemed like cool peppers to me and I wasn’t ashamed to say that I was a trader.
And I said)
What do you think the reaction was?)

“Is this like forex?”
“A friend of mine did this until he lost X rubles.”
“And do you earn a lot? What car?
“Do you know how risky this is?”
“Have you thought about finding a normal job?”

90% of people said all this in response to the fact that I am a trader. What about you too? After listening to all this, I stopped saying that I am a trader.
And now I say...
... blah, I started to be afraid and avoid people and now I don’t say anything.
What should I do?

I stopped saying that I was a trader because I could see in their eyes and faces that people were disappointed in me after that, they were more disappointed than when I came up with all sorts of strange things about myself, like that I was a big fan of the cartoon My Little Pony.
I stopped talking when I spent enough time on trading sites and realized that being a trader really doesn’t sound cool.

Should I say that I am an investor? No better. Every schoolchild knows that to be an investor is to be a patient and earn a living, and if you earn a lot, then the capital should be mega-huge and then again the questions.
Saying that you are an algorithmic trader? It’s also a terrible option, when you say that you have robots, I can just see how the interlocutor in front of me materializes the Deciptecons and that idiot that defeated Godzilla.
Should I say that I am a programmer? It's not sexy to me.

Now I understand why people buy Mercedes; if it had been there, perhaps there wouldn’t have been such problems. But there’s also a point that I don’t want people to know how much I earn, I don’t want to be a dude in a Mercedes, and in general cars are somehow not my thing at all. So what can I say so that it doesn’t sound harsh and so that it is clear that I’m cool and there are no unnecessary questions about work?

Update. Hurray, I got a comment right on topic.
“but I’m telling the truth... I’m not ashamed of my profession... whoever needs it, I’ll explain it in more detail, whoever needs a tease, I’ll tease you with any answer, and someone will be interested and will be your investor. If you yourself are ashamed of your profession, then you, somewhere deep down, understand about the same as the majority. and therefore a moment will come when you will be disappointed and quit... this is a psychological moment.”

Now I’ll say that I’m an asset manager, the ideal option, and here you don’t even need to tell me how much money you have, because it’s all someone else’s anyway;)

Update2.
AAAAAAA, it turns out that if you say “asset manager”, some will think that you are a pimp, as they wrote in the comments.
I haven't laughed like that in a long time.



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