I am sure that everyone has heard the phrase with which I titled my topic today. How fair is it? There are probably different cases. But I know quite a few where its veracity is beyond doubt.
Searching does not mean finding. Not being found does not mean failure. But you need to try, try, “work with your paws”, like the frog in A. Panteleev’s fairy tale. Only then is there a chance to “whip the sour cream.”
I could talk about this topic for a long time. But I think that a real example from the life of my friend will tell much more than any theoretical calculations. So I'll get down to business.
Live by aspiration
We met Stas about four years ago. He is a disabled person of the first group. As you yourself understand, he has many health problems. Among them are arms that practically do not bend at the elbows. At the same time, he does everything he can himself. Including working at the computer.
Stas received his higher education as a full-time student at the Polytechnic University. I received it myself. I didn’t buy any tests, tests, or exams.
After graduating from university, the question of a job arose. It would be difficult for him to walk or travel somewhere every day for an 8-hour workday (and if with lunch, then for a 9-hour day). He was looking for a job at home. A lot of things have been tried. He was involved in rewriting, copywriting, and programming for individual projects found on freelance exchanges.
He has always earned his living by performing these tasks, although he has a pension. I think this fact would chill many people. Remember Linda's friend Arthur? A person lives and does not blow his mind, even with the third, working group of disability. And Stas’s is the first one, not working. Of course, in monetary terms his pension is greater. But he prefers to do without it all these years - it goes into his bank account. And Stas earns money for living and other needs every month through his labor.
Freelancer –free spearman
Those who have been freelancing without a permanent employer know very well that it is not easy. Eternal search for “hot” projects on stock exchanges, competition, long working hours. In addition to physical fatigue and spent nerves, sometimes it also ends in deception. Speaking in the jargon - “scammer”. Has this happened to you? With me - yes. And with Stas too.
And sometimes, after sleepless nights and honest, but terribly low pay, the thought came that a free spearman had nothing in common with a spearman, but only with pennies on which he could not live.
Patience and work
After 4 years of such experience, Stas found a permanent employer from Belarus. The work was paid adequately, no one was rude or got on my nerves. And a year later he got a well-paid job as a programmer (also remote), which he continues to do to this day. I'm very happy for him! His hard work, dedication, and perseverance evoke my genuine respect!
When you have such an example before your eyes, the lamentations of many healthy young men who allegedly cannot find work become ridiculous. Yes, everyone can have difficulties. And the time is now difficult in many ways. But if you really have a desire, there is a goal, you can achieve a lot! However, for this you need to do a lot of internal work - turn your consciousness around. And instead of looking for reasons and excuses, start looking for new opportunities.
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In Tyura-Tam I was delayed for an hour due to negotiations between Belyaev and Leonov with Brezhnev. Shortly before leaving for the airfield to meet new space heroes, a group of chief designers and flight directors (Korolev, Keldysh, Tyulin, Rudenko, Pilyugin, Barmin, Kerimov and others) gathered in the “marshal’s” dining room of the tenth platform. Korolev proposed a toast to cooperation: “Friends! In front of us is the Moon. Let us all work together for the great goal of lunar exploration. Do you remember how our team worked together?” And then I heard V.P. Barmin, who was sitting next to me, quietly say: “We worked together when everyone was in charge... And now there is one chief theorist and one chief designer...” Yes. Vladimir Pavlovich is right: the former friendship between the members of the “space cooperation” is long gone, and Korolev himself is partly to blame for this. He often makes rash decisions and is tyrannical in his relationships with his assistants. Not without reason, local wits nicknamed him “Scorpio-4.” The fact is that if there is a threat to Baikonur from foreign agents, the General Staff immediately notifies the relevant services of the test site with coded signals. The code “Scorpio-1” means that foreigners are passing by rail in the area of the test site - they can find the direction of operating radio stations and thereby determine the location and number of launch sites. The signal “Scorpio-2” means the flight of reconnaissance aircraft in civil aviation aircraft, “Scorpio-3” means other, more serious actions of foreign intelligence. According to any of these signals, life in Baikonur freezes for several minutes... Korolev found out about Scorpio-4 three days ago and at the most inopportune moment. There were about two hours left before the launch of Voskhod-2, the preparation of the rocket, ship and crew was strictly according to schedule, the situation at the launch was calm. This is probably why the pre-start minutes seemed especially long to us. To somehow pass the time while waiting for the launch, Korolev, Barmin, Severin and I decided to discuss our plans for the future. The ensuing business conversation took place in a relaxed manner and was only occasionally interrupted by small pauses. And then, during one of these pauses, Severin suddenly turned to Barmin with a question: “Do you know what they call Sergei Pavlovich at the training ground?” - began to talk about “Scorpions”... Korolev’s reaction was stormy. Flushing, he declared in a breaking voice: “I have never been a fascist scorpion! “Scorpio-4” is a stupid invention of a narrow-minded person. I hope that my friends will not spread such vulgarities about me...” Having blurted out this tirade, Sergei Pavlovich walked away from us - an awkward silence ensued. Of course, G.I. Severin, who inadvertently offended his older friend, was most worried. Korolev treats Guy Ilyich with fatherly kindness, highly values his engineering talent and has high hopes for him. Needless to say, Severin joked very unsuccessfully...
“Those who want are looking for opportunities. Those who don’t want to look for reasons.” A very accurate and important statement.
Accurate because it is inherently true. A person who does not want to do something tries in every possible way to evade this activity. Comes up with 100 reasons why it “can’t be done.” Those who want look for opportunities and in the end, as a rule, find them.
It is important to notice this “desire and unwillingness” not only in other people, but also in ourselves.
Why is this important?
Because we are lying to ourselves. We bake quite often. No, of course, not everyone does this, but most people deceive themselves. And therein lies the problem.
And the problem is the following. If a person, for example, says that he wants to quit smoking, but does not quit, finding an excuse that everyone around him smokes, then this is self-deception.
If a person wanted to quit this bad habit, he would find a way to do it. And the fact that the environment does not allow it, the weather today is not the same, and so on - this is just a cozy self-deception. In which it’s very nice to hide and reassure yourself that it’s not your fault, nothing can be done, you would be happy to, but circumstances...
It is very important if you want to develop (in any area) to be able to notice the moments when you are deceiving yourself and look for reasons instead of opportunities. This may not be what you want to do...
Here is a short note on the topic of self-deception. Just remember and understand the phrase “Who wants, looks for opportunities. Those who don’t want to, look for reasons” can be very useful in order to adequately assess the situations that happen in your life. Both with you and with the participation of other people.
Perhaps, in continuation of the topic, you will also want to read an article on the topic of how to distinguish your true desires from imposed ones. She .
Let's start with an example. You liked the girl. But it turns out that it’s not just you or her who already has a boyfriend. Of course, if the girl is pretty, you will show her signs of attention, let her know that you are not indifferent to her, but you will not insist and achieve. Let her decide for herself whether to leave her boyfriend or not, whether to choose you or someone else. Like, it all depends on her. Everything is in her hands!
So that later, if something happens (she doesn’t like it, gets tired of it, finds something better), she won’t blame you, because she decided everything herself, so you have nothing to do with it, let her blame herself! But really, if you really like her, would you pay attention to whether she has someone??? You would woo her in every possible way, look for opportunities to meet, invite her on dates, court her, not paying attention to anything...
Example two. You already have a girlfriend, you have been dating her for a long time, everything seems to be fine... As they say, things are heading towards marriage. But there’s a problem here too... You don’t have money to provide for your family, you don’t have housing, you’re still too young and haven’t worked your way up, there’s an economic crisis in the country, etc. If you want, you can earn money, in addition to your main job, you can earn extra money taxi driver, waiter, loader, etc. It would be a wish!!! You can rent an apartment, and then you can earn money for yours together.
And if you haven’t had enough fun, why do you need a girl? Go out while you're young, with a few. Don't burden yourself with a relationship with one!!! The excuse about the economic crisis is generally the pinnacle of the art of excuses. What if the crisis drags on for 40 years? Will you wait?
In short, if you love a girl, then naturally you want her to always be with you. If you come up with stupid excuses, she is not the one, YOUR ONLY! Don't torment her and don't suffer, and don't deceive yourself!
Example three. By hook or by crook, through your own fault or by force, but you got married. The question of having a child arises in itself. And here a variety of “arguments” come into play: let’s live for ourselves for now (as if you had lived for someone before?); still young (this suggests that children should be born at an old age, somewhere over 60); there is not enough money for two (there is never enough money for anyone, regardless of the level of salary); the apartment is small, so we can earn money for a larger one (when will this be? In how many years? 20? 30? Or more???).
If you reason like this, it means only one thing: you don’t want this woman to give birth to your child, that’s all. It would be your wish! Both young parents and not very rich families with small living spaces have desired children!
That’s why the conclusion suggests itself: those who want – look for opportunities, those who don’t want – reasons!
Maybe I'm wrong???
