Better the bitter truth than a sweet lie. Bitter truth or sweet lie

or
WHAT'S BETTER?
*****
Essay

“Before you express your opinion to a person, think about whether he is able to accept it.”
(Yamamoto Tsunetom)

Yes, all of us (for the most part) are fighters for justice, for the TRUTH.
But is the proverb “Better the bitter truth than a sweet lie” always right? Is it really so NECESSARY, this very TRUTH?
This topic, of course, is not as simple as it might seem at first glance, and concerns both life in general and virtual “life” here on the Proza.ru website.

I say “life” for a reason: many have already literally “registered” on it and are often here all day. Whether this is good or bad, I don’t know; every person is free to choose what he likes. Everyone is looking for something of their own here.
WHAT?
Confession? Communication? Entertainment? An opportunity for self-realization? To promote yourself?
Or maybe learn something from other authors?

***
In the dialogues and discussions of site authors about the features of the Proza.ru site and its authors, I found a lot of interesting things.

Everyone here has friends-fans and enemies-opponents, since people have different tastes and preferences. But this does not mean that there are only white and black colors, because there are also halftones and shades.
The main thing is to respect each other and not stoop to rudeness and insults. If someone doesn’t arouse your interest or respect, then you can simply walk away in silence, as we walk past hundreds of random passers-by on the street, even if we don’t like their gait, face or clothes.
As my grandmother used to say: “One likes the priest, another likes the priest, and some like the priest’s daughter!”

But THIS even... scared me and made me very sad: “Here (on the site) you can find everything: pleasant communication, mutual understanding, love, hatred, rudeness, flattery, and the worst thing is envy.”

Well, exactly: everything is like in REAL!..

***
Having been on this site for more than a year now, I noticed: many of the local “critic” reviewers (as they consider themselves to be!), having neither literary literacy nor even basic communication culture, do shameless and unprofessional, often... ignorant, amateurish remarks! All day long they write dozens (!) of mostly categorically negative “reviews”, fashion the so-called. "the bitter truth." And they themselves... are dummies, often also terribly illiterate. Being neither professional writers, nor literary critics, nor editors or even proofreaders, these evil (and often just very envious!) people, like poisonous snakes, spitting poison, poison the lives of others. Apparently, like energy vampires, they feed off THIS and live!..
Or maybe they are doing SO... PR!? Otherwise, they might not even pay attention to them!

But here’s the question: WHO and WHEN gave them the right to judge others, to offend and humiliate amateur (and the majority of THESE are on Prose.ru!) authors who found a “shelter” here and (often, being very old or sick, disabled and, as a result, , very lonely people) the only opportunity to go out into the world, to throw out what has accumulated, what hurts in the soul, or, finally, just to communicate?!
Well, how can you write something bad to a person who says that after the death of his wife he was saved from loneliness and melancholy... by a cat and literature - this site Proza.ru?!
(P.S. This man closed his page several times and came back again!.. And thank God! He writes very well: simply and sincerely!)

***
Now the following questions arise:
WHO are the judges?
Are they competent to be THEM?
WHO needs it, this “bitter truth”, a pill that often does not cure, but kills, degrades human dignity?!? But it can completely undermine self-confidence and even... kill a person (physically or morally)!.. – it was not for nothing that the poet said:

"Words can kill
With a word you can save..."

Well, will it really help anyone to know that SHE has... crooked legs or a terrible figure, and HE has... protruding ears or a big belly?!? After all, usually a person himself already knows and sees THIS, but to him... they pour “salt into the wounds”!..
Then it’s better to remain silent, isn’t it? - as about a dead person: either good or nothing.

***
For some reason, I suddenly remembered M. Gorky’s play “At the Lower Depths,” whose heroes (prototypes of today’s SCORES and HOMELESS) are unfortunate people who have sunk to the “bottom of life,” living in Mikhail Korostylev’s rooming house, also arguing about the “bitter truth” and “ sweet lies" (and most of all - the wanderer Luke and the self-taught "philosopher" Satin). And there is a terrible episode of the death of a rooming house named Actor, who lived in the hope of being cured of drunkenness in a free hospital, but, having learned from the truth-seeking Satin that this was his invention-a joke, in despair he went and... hanged himself!.. He took this step pushed by the very truth that Satin so mercilessly presented to him, loudly declaring the slogan (invented by himself!): “Truth is the god of a free man! Lies are the religion of slaves and masters!”

***
We are all on the violin of Life -
musicians,
Everyone has a melody
own
You will find almost everyone
talents!
Or maybe... talented
and I?! –

I wrote it once.

Yes, we are all completely different and therefore sometimes write differently about the same phenomenon or event.

I believe that we should accept people as they are.

This also applies to the local “residents” - the authors of Proza.ru. If they are not professional writers (if such exist at all!), this does not mean at all that SOMEONE can forbid them to publish HERE, tell them WHAT and HOW to write, unceremoniously and often rudely rub their nose into mistakes (often minor!) , thereby putting adults, gray-haired and respected somewhere in their circle of people in an awkward position... a guilty student with a bad grade!
But a good teacher would never do something like that in front of the whole class! Comments and some corrections can be made in a soft, correct form, specifically and constructively pointing out some mistakes - and not in a review, but better in a comment, which can then be deleted after corrections, or in a letter to the author. You can, of course, in a review/feedback, but then, when the author corrects everything (if he wishes!), delete it (for example, this is what I usually do).

***
Nowadays the word “tolerance” is very fashionable, in other words, tolerance. Of course, NOT EVERYTHING can and should be tolerated and forgiven. Meanness and betrayal - no way!!!
But... let's be a little more tolerant - towards creative people, their opuses - HERE, on Prose.ru!

And if we are trying to tell the truth (for the purpose of help, “cure”!), then perhaps we will present it... in a purer and more beautiful wrapper, so that this “pill” of ours will not be so unbearably bitter and... Nauseating?!

And sometimes (rather than KILL with a word!) it is generally better... to remain silent, and THIS will not be a lie! As one local author said, IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, GO... PAST!

***
INSTEAD OF AN AFTERWORD

And - finally - to the topic, from my beloved Bulat Okudzhava:

“Everyone writes as he hears,
everyone hears him breathing,
as he breathes, so he writes,
not trying to please..."

I wonder what you think about all this?
Do you always say HERE (and in life) “the whole truth and nothing but the truth”?

© Olga Blagodareva, 2013

Photo picture - from the Internet.
Thanks to the author!

“Children and fools always tell the truth,” says
ancient wisdom. The conclusion is clear: adults and
wise people never tell the truth.
Mark Twain

Literature teaches that only the truth holds the light. In Gorky’s “At the Lower Depths,” there are three types of it: the truth of life, the truth of fact, and the truth of faith in a person. And each hero defends his truth. Critics are still arguing about whose side Gorky is on, what truth does he stand for? Who is closer to him: Luke the Comforter or Satin with his slogans: “Man – that sounds proud!” After all, everyone is right in their own way. Most likely, the writer understands that each person has his own truth. That is why life resembles the Babylonian pandemonium. Everyone around speaks different languages, each in the language of their own truth.

All people seem to be looking for the truth, wanting it, achieving it. Although all they do is hide it, hide it, hush it up, don’t distribute it, conceal it. How often do you tell the truth to your bosses? Friends - what do you really think about them? Have you at least told your loved ones the whole truth about yourself personally? The answers, I think, will most likely be negative. The truth is too bitter. It is like a medicine: it must be consumed in prescribed doses at certain intervals, and the dosage must be strictly observed. To be honest, no one is interested in the truth; they will bury it deeply to further their own interests.

Do you want to make more enemies? Then always, to everyone, under any circumstances, tell the truth. You're walking down the street and you see a fat man with a huge belly, come right up and tell him the truth that you don't like his appearance. Then, in the silence of the emergency room, you will be able to reflect on the meaning of the following aphorism by Mark Twain: “We like people who boldly tell us what they think, provided that they think the same as we do.”

Better yet, start fighting for the truth. Let's see what will happen to you as soon as possible after the start of the fight for justice. Very soon you will regret your initiative and ask yourself a question from Odessa: “Do I need it?”

A lie is a completely different matter. It's sweet, everyone likes to hear it, it's desirable if it's flattering. She can also be shy, selfless, crafty, unscrupulous, arrogant, but everyone tolerates her. Cheating is profitable because an honest player will always lose to the one who cheats. So what do you think is better: the bitter truth or the sweet lie?

Students choose to lie on a subconscious level. In an essay based on Levitan’s painting “March. The beginning of spring” everyone wrote that this is their favorite artist, their favorite painting, and their favorite time of year. Why did they do this? For the sake of a better score for “good” thoughts. As we see, even children have a lie already embedded on a subconscious level. "For the sake of survival." Is it worth talking about adults then? We choose sweet lies.

Conclusion: “No one could live with a man who constantly told the truth; Thank God, this danger does not threaten any of us,” joked Mark Twain. And again: “Truth is the most valuable thing we have; Let us spend it carefully.”

What is better “sweet lies” or “bitter truth”? I think everyone will have their own answer to this question. In the play "" Maxim Gorky raises before us the same problem of "sweet lies" and "bitter truth", but does not directly answer the question posed.

It seems to me that for the heroes of the play “At the Bottom” the “sweet lie” turned out to be better than the “bitter truth”, because it gave them hope for a better life.

All of them: Satin, Kleshch, Actor, Bubnov, Nastya themselves wanted to be at the bottom of their lives, they themselves chose their family. Gorky shows them as people deprived of dreams and goals in life. They are simply wasting their lives in a stuffy shelter.

But everything changes with the arrival of old man Luke. He became a kind of catalyst, pushing everyone to action. By showing compassion and comforting them, Luke gave many people hope for a better life. It is amazing how in a very short time, thanks to warm words, he gained a huge influence on the characters in the play. For example, he was able to calm the dying Anna by telling her about a better life in the afterlife. The girl dies with a certain hope, with the belief that in the next world she will have a comfortable life, devoid of suffering and deprivation.

The former employee of the Actor Theater did not go unnoticed by Luke. The old man showed him that not everything is lost, that everything can be returned. It also gave him hope for a new life. Unfortunately, this was not destined to happen. Hope can be lost as quickly as you gained it.

It seems to me that the Actor committed suicide not through Luke’s fault. This happened due to weakness of spirit and lack of self-confidence. Luke wanted with his compassion to at least somehow brighten up the difficult fate of the heroes of the work. He did not show them the real order of things again, thereby pushing them even further; he would not have changed anything by doing so. Thanks to his “sweet lies,” he wanted to show them that there is a way up, you just have to believe in yourself.

In the play, Gorky shows us his negative attitude towards lies; he does not advise living in dreams and illusions. But, despite this, the words of old man Luke had such an impact because they were “sown” in the soil of the illusions of the main characters.

This is an eternal subject of debate among people, and the majority of people prefer to receive a sweet and pleasant pill, preferring it to an effective but unpleasant medicine. If there was an unambiguous answer, then the debate on this issue would have been completed long ago. It is precisely the fact that there is no and cannot be an unambiguous answer that makes people argue and prove something to each other.

Useful bitter truth

My opinion is that everything needs and is important to use in its place and for its own purposes. There are cases where the hard truth can help, for example the bitter truth about beer, that it slowly and surely breaks a person’s hormonal background and turns healthy people into feminine men and masculine women. The point is that it is difficult and unpleasant to perceive the bitter truth about certain things.

The bitter truth of life

The bitter truth of life is partly that people are more comfortable within the framework of their own delusions, opinions, philosophies, advertising slogans and public misconceptions. Independence of judgments and reasoning, analysis of information is the lot of 5-10% of the population, who seek truth in any way, understand, read, and are interested (you belong to such a remarkable category, since you came to this blog). The truth of life is difficult to perceive, and then even more difficult to live with. Live and do something, changing the predestination and fate of yourself and others, stop going with the flow with the herd. The truth of life allows you to free your mind from nonsense, but loads it with other things. People who are getting closer to the truth will find it more difficult to perceive all the information coming to them from the outside; they are constantly looking for a catch and are painfully aware of lies. I have the feeling that a light bulb lights up inside me when they start to “rub” yet another nonsense into me. The light is constantly on when watching TV or advertising, when attending public events, when reading newspapers, watching videos from various “”, when attending religious and mystical events. Naturally, I try to avoid sources of outright nonsense or purposeful lies. I gave it away, I don’t have a radio, I only read newspapers on the train. But this did not unload my brains - the topics of thought simply changed. I prefer the hard truth and consider myself an informed optimist.

A sweet lie that everyone loves, but few people benefit from.

Sweet lies have their advantages and benefits, especially for terminally ill people, or people who have reached a complete dead end, people in a state of intensive care procedures, or other critical situations. In such cases, it is very important to have a bit of optimism that allows people to believe in the success of the struggle and resistance. Even if people cannot defeat a stronger opponent or death, they will spend their last hours fighting with faith in their victory. It is more correct and effective to fight until the last moment with confidence in victory than to die in fear of the inevitable. For many people, optimism helps them live for decades despite having serious health problems; many people have opened and created successful businesses where everyone predicted problems and defeat. These are those cases when a share of optimism is important and extremely valuable, and a sweet lie in this version becomes an additional charge to the battery of optimism and the reason for strengthening a person.

If a healthy person is instilled with false but sweet stereotypes from childhood, then when faced with problems or obstacles that should not exist, people break down and become isolated in their problems.

Why is it important to inform people in advance about possible problems and who should be informed?

It is important and necessary to inform students and schoolchildren that they can push their diplomas into a shredder or shove them up their butts. A diploma is not a guarantee of success, just as the absence of a diploma is not a guarantee of problems with employment and business.

It is important to warn girls that appearance is not a guarantee of success in life, just as the absence of breast size 4 is not a guarantee of problems with marriage.

It is important for young people to be taught that their success in life depends on their personal qualities, ability to solve problems, communicate with people and achieve their goals, and not on their level in the “farm” or “counter strike”.

It is important for people with health problems to be given a clear understanding that they must solve all their problems themselves, other people, including doctors, pharmacists, healers, diagnosticians, bioenergy therapists, religious and mystical figures, etc. They only need money and nothing else.

And more such examples can and should be given - when the truth told and accepted by a person in a timely manner can make a person healthier and happier in the future, thanks to the medicine taken on time and the received form of a pill or a kick in the ass to the bitter truth.

In general, my opinion is that there is a time and place for everything. If you want to tell a person the bitter truth, ask yourself and him: is he ready to listen to it? If you are ready, then try to give the person the truth in a form that he is able to digest and accept.

Use the pills of lies and truth as prescribed and everyone will be happy.

1) Introduction…………………………………………………………….3

2) Chapter 1. Philosophical view………………………………………………………..4

Point 1. “Hard” truth…………………………………………..4

Point 2. Pleasant delusion……………………………………..7

Point 3. Separation of lies......................................................9

Point 4. Harm of the truth……………………………………………...10

Point 5. Golden mean…………………………………………...11

3) Chapter 2. Modern view……………………………………..13

Point 6. Is it worth lying?.................................................... ...........................13

Point 7. Survey………………………………………………………..14

Point 8. Modern opinions……………………………………15

4) Conclusion………………………………………………………17

5) List of references……………………………………..18

Introduction.

I think that every person at least once in his life was faced with a choice: to reveal the true state of affairs or to embellish the situation, if appropriate. This is a difficult choice, many even suffer because they have to choose. There are people who are born liars; there are those who hate lies and prefer the truth; and there are people for whom there are certain situations where lying is considered appropriate and necessary.

So what is better: a pleasant delusion or a “bitter” truth, sometimes even of a sad nature? I want to look at this issue as accurately as possible and go as deep as possible into the essence of the problem, find out what people prefer more in our time and whether their preferences coincide with their actions, and also draw certain conclusions for myself.

Chapter 1. Philosophical view.

“Children and fools always tell the truth,” says
ancient wisdom. The conclusion is clear: adults and
wise people never tell the truth."
Mark Twain

Quite a lot of events happen in our lives: joy, sadness, luck, love, etc. All good events always alternate with less joyful events. They cannot even be called bad, and rather they are not even events, but certain obstacles that a person has to face. If you think about it, you can notice one very important detail - no matter what, people always demand the “bitter” truth, reliable information, and not “sweet” lies. We often believe in a fairy tale, we live behind these rose-colored glasses, but the reality is much more deceitful and mean. Hiding behind dreams, we do not notice a simple needle in this wonderful world, which, oddly enough, can “prick” us painfully.

Point 1. “Hard” truth.

The most common misconception concerns human feelings and relationships. I remember the work “Woe from Wit” by A.S. Griboedova and one of the main characters of Sophia, who, having fallen in love with Molchanin, accepts his romantic impulse as a gift of fate that will help her become happy . However, all her hopes and dreams collapse at one moment, when she sees the scene of the declaration of love between Molchanin and the maid, she realizes how wrong her opinion about her loved one was before.

Disappointment is the eternal companion of delusion. And the later the true picture is revealed, the more difficult it is to accept and survive, and most importantly, change something in your life for the better. For example, in Germany, doctors tell patients the whole truth when telling cancer patients about the severity of their condition, and it seems to me that this only at instill in them the desire to resist and fight for their lives. Of course, miracles happen rarely, and maybe they don’t happen at all, but you can’t take away a person’s hope.

German scientists tried to figure this out; they interviewed a number of people and asked them just one question: what would they like “a bitter truth or a sweet lie.” This is what we found out during this survey: “ After examining the patient, the doctor discovered a malignant tumor. And what to do next? Lie to a patient, calling stomach cancer an ulcer, lung cancer bronchitis, and thyroid cancer an endemic goiter, or tell him about a terrible diagnosis? It turns out that most patients prefer the second option. A sociological survey conducted among patients in oncology departments of various UK hospitals showed that 90 percent of them need truthful information. Moreover, 62% of patients would like not only to know the diagnosis, but also to hear from the doctor a description of the disease and a probable prognosis for its course, and 70% decided to inform their families about the disease. The age of the patient plays an important role in determining preferences - for example, among patients over 80 years old, 13% prefer to remain in the dark, and among their younger “brothers” in misfortune - 6%.” All this suggests that most people prefer the truth, no matter how bitter it is, and no matter what problems it brings in the future.

In love, for example, we often overestimate our chosen one, the sincerity of his intentions: perhaps his words are at odds with his actions. " 40% of women underestimate their age when meeting men" - series "Theory of Lies". " First of all, they lie to those they love." - Nadine de Rothschild. From this we can conclude that when we are mistaken in some issue that is significant to us, we descend into the world of illusions, creating a fairy tale that appeals not only to us, but also to many other people.

On the one hand, a “sweet” lie, or as it is also called a “white lie,” is quite appropriate. But do you want to lie to your loved ones? After all, this lie can lead not to a positive outcome, but to pain and disappointment.

I don't like it when people lie to my face
Trying to save me from pain!
I don't like being told the wrong thing;
Why did they want to say that at first!
I hate pity eyes
Which pierce my soul!
I hate, I hate
When they say one thing, but I hear another!
I don't accept sweet talk
Which are so flattering and false!
I hate a world where you are nobody's
Where everyone is afraid of the truth, everyone is cowardly!
I don't want deception and lies
I don't want pity or flattery!
I hope I deserve the truth
And I dream of only truth.
Let it be bitter, like a straight arrow,
Not the one that is so nice to hear,
Let it hurt me sometimes
Let the heart hear only the truth! 1

It seems to me that this poem shows us very well that a person not only does not want to hear a lie, he also hates it. In his work, the author speaks of truth as something sacred that must be earned.

« When in doubt, tell the truth" - Mark Twain. This

1 http://www.proza.ru/avtor/196048

the quote is true, because having lied, it is you who has to unravel all the threads that you have twisted. A pleasant delusion may help only at first, but then it will be much worse.

And as they say in the feature film “Brother-2”: “- Tell me, American, what is strength? My brother says that power is in money. You cheated on someone, you became richer, so what? I believe strength is in the TRUTH, whoever is right is stronger ».

Point 2. Pleasant delusion.

In contrast, I want to quote, unfortunately, I don’t remember the correct presentation, so I’ll change it in my own way: “ If you want to harm a person, then it is not necessary to slander and gossip, it is enough to tell the truth about him" People really always want the truth and try to find it. Although they themselves do nothing but hide, conceal, keep silent. How often do you tell the truth to your superiors? Do you often tell the truth about what you really think about your friends and acquaintances? Have you ever told the whole truth about yourself? Without hiding anything, to your parents, for example? Or the same friends?

I think the answer will be negative, the truth is too “bitter”. " The unpleasant truth, inevitable death and mustaches on women are three things we don’t want to notice.” series "The Theory of Lies". We lie to our colleagues at work, telling them about the happy life of our family. We lie to our family by not telling them about problems at work. We also lie to our friends so that they don’t think that in some situation we feel weak and helpless. The worst thing about all this is that any lie, even a small one, is subsequently revealed.

And how can your family, friends, and colleagues trust you after this? If you constantly leave things unsaid. " We like people who boldly tell us what they think, as long as they think the same as we do." - Mark Twain. 2 All this leads to the loss of loved ones and friends, because now they

2 http://www.wtr.ru/aphorism/new42.htm

They think that you don’t trust them because you’ve always hidden something.

And the worst thing is that your harmless lie can turn into a “big one” that borders on betrayal. So, maybe you should train yourself to tell the truth?

As an example, I would like to give an old parable about truth:

Man, by all means,
I set out to find the truth.
I put a lot of effort into this,
It was not easy for him on the way:
Walked the road less traveled
And in the cold, and in the rain, and in the summer heat,
I wounded my feet with stones,
He lost weight and became as gray as a harrier.
But he achieved his cherished goal -
After long wanderings and losses
He's in the hut of Truth indeed

He opened the unlocked door.

An ancient old woman was sitting there.
It was clear that no guests were expected.
The man asked, gathering his courage:
- Isn’t your name Pravda?
“It’s me,” the hostess answered.
And the Seeker then exclaimed:
- Humanity has always believed
That you are beautiful and young.
If I reveal the Truth to people,
Will they become happier?
Smiling at our hero
Truth whispered: “Lie.”

Point 3. Separation of lies.

« The average person lies three times in a ten minute conversation." This is a quote from the series “The Theory of Lies.” Man is designed in such a way that he cannot help but lie; lying is part of our life. Even when we are asked “How are you?”, we answer “everything is fine” or “fine”, despite what state we really have, simply justifying this by the fact that we do not want to share problems with those around us, it is not enough acquaintances, people. Agree, although this is a small lie, it is still a lie. Answering this way almost every day, we get used to lying and in order to somehow justify it, we begin to divide lies: into positive and negative.