You've probably heard more than once that you need to leave your comfort zone more often, because this is extremely useful for development. But what is a comfort zone and what do we really know about it, other than the following fact:
Caption: On the right is your comfort zone, and on the left is where miracles happen
So, what is a person's comfort zone and why should we leave it?
In science, the “comfort zone” is defined through the concept of anxiety, namely: “The comfort zone is a type of behavior in which anxiety is kept at a consistently low level.” Imagine cooking dinner, driving to work, or watching TV: these everyday activities do not cause you anxiety or awkwardness, you do them automatically, they constitute your comfort zone. This is what a comfort zone means in psychology.
Sometimes when people talk about getting out of your comfort zone they mean “try something new,” but in general it refers to any situation in which you feel insecure or nervous. So, if on the way to work you get stuck in a traffic jam or you don’t like that the train is crowded with people, then these familiar situations cease to be neutral for you, and you experience discomfort. In this case, why leave your comfort zone and what's good about it?
While we all crave pleasurable sensations, a certain level of discomfort can be surprisingly beneficial. Even the smallest inconvenience can push us to finish the job faster or improve the quality of its completion.
A 1908 study found that mice, when faced with very simple tasks, increased their performance only when their anxiety levels increased. When the task turned out to be difficult, the anxiety state helped only up to a certain level - after reaching a certain threshold, the combination of complexity and anxiety led to a drop in productivity.
The figure above shows that outside the comfort zone there is a growth zone, however, when moving significantly away from it, excessive anxiety appears, which can lead to a state of panic. This illustration clearly explains the results of the mouse experiment. It’s worth thinking about how to get out of your comfort zone with benefit.
How we behave in conditions of uncertainty
Uncertainty is often the cause of discomfort. You have peace of mind when cooking dinner or driving a car, but only if you do it every day and know what to expect. However, if you decide to try a new recipe, get behind the wheel for the first time, or maybe you are getting a new job or want to jump from a parachute, you are guaranteed to be alarmed.
Uncertainty can also make you react more strongly to negative experiences. Research has shown that when negative images were preceded by uncertainty, they produced a stronger negative effect than when participants were prepared and knew what to expect.
For the same reason, people tend to react negatively to any changes, even if in the end they themselves come to them. What happens if you step too far out of your comfort zone? American researcher Brené Brown believes that uncertain social, political or economic conditions significantly narrow our comfort zone: the more fearful we are, the less confident we are in ourselves and the future, and the more difficult it is to get rid of this condition.
Thus, for the human psyche, striving for familiar and familiar things, any unknown is a reason to be wary. From an evolutionary perspective, this behavior is explained by viewing familiar situations as safer: “Hey, we tried this and didn't die. Probably if we try the same thing again, nothing bad will happen.”
Therefore, thinking about the unknown takes a lot of energy, and in case of fatigue or loss of strength, we would rather follow the usual path than try something new.
Going beyond
So, how to leave your comfort zone and is it worth it? Is this really good for you? Scientists say yes, but up to certain limits. Just like the mice in the experiment, do not expose yourself to unnecessary stress to avoid panic.
Let's look at the main benefits of leaving your comfort zone.
Self-development
A positive attitude and hope for success, combined with some anxiety and self-doubt, can lead you to personal growth. This is why sports such as rock climbing or skydiving are often featured on lists of tips for getting someone out of their comfort zone: you feel nervous and anxious, but when you finish, you feel a huge sense of satisfaction that you did it, and this increases your confidence in to yourself.
Expanding your comfort zone
If you have a small comfort zone—that is, there are only a few things you can do without feeling anxious—you run the risk of living your life in fear and missing out on a lot of fun things. By getting out of your comfort zone more or less regularly, you will gradually increase the number of situations that are familiar and familiar to you.
In this way, you will be able to enjoy life much more, since well-known things are pleasant in themselves, even if at first we felt uncomfortable when mastering them.
Novelty motivates us and helps us learn.
New experiences lead to an increase in dopamine levels in the brain, which is part of the “reward system.” This hormone makes us seek rewards, and new situations increase this thirst. Novelty has also been shown to develop our memory and improve our learning abilities, making our brains more flexible.
Daniel H. Pink, an author on motivation and work management, says in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Makes Us Perform that we all strive for some ideal level of discomfort in which we can to be as productive as possible.
This golden mean, when discomfort prevents you from relaxing too much and tones you up without depriving you of the desire or ability to work, is what you should strive for. By getting used to a little discomfort, you will successfully expand your comfort zone. Now you know what it means to get out of your comfort zone and how to do it.
How far are you willing to go beyond your usual boundaries? It's up to you. Perhaps after reading this article you will decide to try something fundamentally new in life. The most important thing is to maintain a healthy balance between safety and comfort, and then you are guaranteed to enjoy life's experiments.
The comfort zone is the usual living conditions of a person, an established pace and way of life, well-established behavioral stereotypes. By the way, this zone can be very uncomfortable or dangerous (fights, addictions, laziness, conflicts, a tyrant husband, poverty), but for a person this is exactly what is familiar. But a calm and successful life is something unknown, frightening, outside his comfort zone. It is very difficult to leave the familiar zone, no matter how uncomfortable it actually may be for the individual. But it is possible and necessary.
What is a comfort zone
In psychology, the comfort zone is considered to be everything that a person has mastered, learned, and acquired in life to date. These are his living conditions, lifestyle, reactions and ways of solving problems, interests and motives, environment, behavior. This is the person himself at the present moment in time.
The well-known phrase “stole, drank, goes to jail” very clearly demonstrates the essence of the comfort zone. On the one hand, such an image is familiar, truly comfortable (there is no need to learn anything, to overcome oneself), but on the other hand, it is obvious that in this case it is a way of life that destroys the personality.
The comfort zone can be characterized through several theses:
- It cannot happen within the comfort zone. The comfort zone is not always terrible or dangerous, but it always slows down the personality.
- Of course, every person should have such a zone. It protects us from stress, anxiety, and overexertion. But periodically you need to leave it in order to grow and discover new comfort zones, or rather expand your zone.
Consider, for example, learning to drive a car or starting a new job:
- every action causes fear;
- every movement requires incredible effort and control;
- we are insecure;
- We have many questions;
- we feel uncomfortable.
But a week, a month, several months pass, and now every action is brought to automaticity, we drive the car almost with our eyes closed, we complete the work faster and with better quality. And most importantly: now we are comfortable, not afraid, we are confident. And one more important note: having left the old comfort zone, we learned new things, we developed our skills, we revealed another piece of potential, we grew personally and professionally.
What we have learned and regularly put into practice is our comfort zone. Perhaps you yourself didn’t notice how many times you left one zone and entered another: school, university, foreign language courses, work, relationships, family. If we move, we are constantly faced with the need to leave our comfort zone. More precisely, we are expanding our comfort zone.
This is the main difference - some have a small comfort zone (drinking beer alone in front of the TV on the couch), while others have a very wide one (work, study, go to the movies, play sports, raise children, move out of town to city or from country to country). The width of the comfort zone depends on:
- on how much a person takes care of himself (self-development, self-education, other “self-”);
- from the interests of the individual;
- from determination;
- from ambition, curiosity and motivation.
Another interesting feature is that the comfort zone will not expand by itself, but it may narrow. If a person stops self-development even for a moment, stops taking care of himself, and monitoring world trends, then gradually he becomes confined to a very narrow circle of his society. He becomes uncomfortable where until recently he understood the world, and the world understood him. Even previously existing skills and abilities are lost if they are not regularly put into practice.
For example, an employee who has not worked in his profession for a long time or has not taken advanced training courses becomes an incompetent specialist. He himself has a hard time working, and besides, the bosses are dissatisfied, production is suffering.
If you don’t change anything, but continue to degrade, then the boundaries of your comfort zone will narrow more and more, and life’s problems will get closer and closer. In the end, the person will be completely maladapted.
Outside our comfort zone is everything that we don’t know how to do, don’t know, don’t understand. We can say that the comfort zone is almost identical to a person’s horizons, that is, the range of his interests and knowledge. And there is only one conclusion: either we support and expand our comfort zone, or we degrade and drive ourselves into a corner.
Leaving your comfort zone
“I feel good as it is” is an example of being stuck in the comfort zone. Coming out of it is always stressful. That’s why it’s so hard to eliminate life and psychological problems.
In the discomfort zone are our unrealized opportunities, our potential. Therefore, getting out of it is useful, but it is difficult. After all, next to opportunities lie risks and dangers, sometimes restrictions and, of course, a huge amount of physical, mental and emotional costs. But if you're ready, let's go.
- You need to start your exit by defining your goal. Why did you decide to leave your familiar zone? What do you want to achieve as a result? Determine your motives.
- Motivation and goal setting are the basis for a way out and a confident path to achieving what you want. You need to really desire what is outside your comfort zone. Clearly see why you need it, what it will give.
- I recommend starting small: write down on a piece of paper what you have already achieved, achieved, have, and what you would like to have and be able to do. That is, you get two columns: reality and desired (plans, goals, dreams).
- From the column of desires, select a goal, break it down into manageable tasks and act. Read more about this in the article.
- Realize that your main emotion at the moment is fear of the unknown, uncertainty. It is he who prevents you from leaving your comfort zone: “what will happen, what if it doesn’t work out, what if I lose what I have.” This is normal and completely understandable. But you have to deal with it. How? Find out from the article.
- Study and get to know yourself, understand and... This will allow you to focus on the future, based on natural and current social data, and find interests and hobbies.
- Deal with yours.
- Get rid of bad habits and form.
- Make a list of the things you want to do but never get around to doing. Make it a rule to implement one point every month.
- Get rid of your demons: , inability to communicate, . Typically, these problems keep us tightly within our comfort zone. Identify all problems. If necessary, consult a psychologist.
- Love yourself, adjust your self-esteem. Inadequate self-esteem and dislike for oneself are very often another limiting factor and increasing fear of the unknown.
- Master it. You need a lot of energy to achieve your goals. Therefore, it is important to be able to preserve and restore it. And self-regulation essentially means increasing stress resistance, and it certainly won’t interfere with your journey to expanding the boundaries of your comfort zone.
- Never put up with something that doesn't suit you. Don't be patient. Don’t be afraid to object, ask for help (many people will be happy to help in word or deed, since we all love to be important and significant). Look for ways to achieve goals, opportunities, acquaintances, connections, your own strengths and abilities.
All these points are useless if you do not apply them day after day. Decide what you want, how you see yourself, who you see next to you and act! The most difficult thing, as always, is to start. The more you know, the easier it is to move on. First of all, personal skills are important: will, motivation, determination, activity, activity.
Remember: there is no such thing as “getting out of your comfort zone,” there is a term for “expanding your comfort zone.” And it needs to be constantly expanded and supported. There is no concept of “I’ll work now, and then I’ll breathe easy again.” You need to work constantly. This is the most difficult of all professions - living work. But she is the most grateful.
Concept. It means a kind of living space in which a person does not experience any strong emotions, feels calm and relaxed - a suspended state when nothing disturbs and mental balance is maintained. And it turns out this way because in our comfort zone, familiar, one might even say predictable, things happen to us. These are our daily routine actions, rituals and habits. In general, everything that does not go beyond the ordinary.
Life goes on as usual, and our consciousness perceives its measured course as stable and prosperous.
In connection with the concept of a comfort zone, I have associations with my “happy Soviet childhood,” when everything was stable and as predictable as possible: adults must study, adults must work. and dad went to work, received an average salary, which was enough to have everything they needed.
The young are cherished everywhere, the old are honored. It was possible to not worry too much about how life would turn out, because everything was predetermined from the beginning and for us. And, in my opinion, everyone around me lived the same way and was happy and satisfied with their lives. Great, isn't it? It’s so good to be in a state of complete comfort and spiritual harmony!
But why then has it become so relevant now to leave your comfort zone? I often hear: this comfort zone is a nightmare! You need to get out of it as soon as possible, otherwise it will be bad... But it would be quite logical, on the contrary, to strive to get into it, since everything is so good and cozy there?!
Let's figure out what's the catch here? Where did the “dog dig” here?
The main danger of the comfort zone lies precisely in its stability, because stability in itself is simply a myth. Remember, in one of my articles I wrote that there is no static state in the world - either development or degradation? There is no third option. Where development ends, withering begins.
The same thing happens with the comfort zone: its imaginary stability and security can cause stagnation and degradation of a person’s personality. But more on that a little later...
How does a comfort zone work?
Since everything in this world is in constant motion, the comfort zone itself is also not a static formation and it usually moves in one of two directions - either it expands or contracts.
Expanding your comfort zone is a process necessary for personal growth and self-development. The main thing is that this process occurs harmoniously. The point is that we constantly strive to bring some changes into our “stable” life, we take some “risks”. In other words, you need to do something that is unusual for you and you have not done before. For example, allowing yourself to spend more than usual, or accepting an invitation that has always been refused, or enrolling in some courses, taking up dancing, or unexpectedly taking a vacation and going on a trip. Please note that “risks” here do not mean activities or actions that could cause harm or be dangerous. No. It's just something we've never done before. The point is to try something new, and if this new thing turns out to be attractive, leave it, “accept” it into your comfort zone, thereby expanding it.
I think that happy and cheerful people do not face the problem of being “trapped in a comfort zone.” They expand it unconsciously, naturally attracting new circumstances, events and impressions into their lives, thereby increasing their happiness and receiving more and more joy from life.
Another “direction” in which the comfort zone can move is its narrowing. This happens when a person avoids development and movement forward. This may be a conscious avoidance, or an unconscious one. It doesn't matter. The important thing is that by narrowing our comfort zone, we not only limit ourselves in personal growth, deprive ourselves of the fullness of life and a lot of pleasant activities, but we also refuse the joys that we had. This is how people lose friends, abandon their hobbies and interests, give up their goals, desires and dreams, preferring to lead a monotonous but stable life.
Typically, a narrowing of the comfort zone occurs when a person “bends in” under the pressure of external circumstances and “transfers” control over his life to the outside world. Such people often say: “I don’t have such an opportunity,” “circumstances don’t allow it,” “I can’t do it,” “I’m too old for this,” and the like. That is, the thoughts of such people are aimed precisely at finding reasons why they cannot do this, and not at searching for opportunities.
Oh well! - maybe someone will say. What's wrong with this? A stable and measured course of life is not so bad, and maybe even better than doing something by force that you don’t really want. Everything would be fine, of course, if it weren’t for irritability, increased anxiety, nervousness, constant dissatisfaction with “everyone and everything,” and even all sorts of bad habits! Yes, yes, both alcoholism and drug addiction are also consequences of a narrowing comfort zone. Because if the comfort zone begins to narrow, it will continue to do so and, in the end, turn into a “confinement zone.”
I’m writing this article, and a story from practice in one crisis center for women - victims of domestic violence and tyranny is spinning in my head. I’ll tell you about it, it’s about how the comfort zone is not only addictive, but also how a person can become a submissive prisoner, or, if you like, a prisoner in a cell in a “high security zone.”
Just imagine, a woman comes to the center who has been subjected (not for the first time) to bullying by her husband. She is covered in bruises, tears and other signs of beatings. And so psychologists begin to work with her, relieve stress and always talk about how to get out of this situation. I should note that such centers always have the necessary information, and specialists from different fields are involved in cooperation - lawyers, social workers, doctors. The woman agrees with everything - that she can’t live like this anymore, that her husband is a tyrant, that she needs to make a decision, and so on. But now she is told that to “start” this process she needs to write a statement so that measures can be taken. And the woman also seems to agree with this. But how do you think such stories end in 90% of cases? Several days pass, the marks of the beatings heal, the women calm down and... return to their tyrant husbands! Moreover, some behave guilty, try to somehow justify themselves - they say, where would I be without him..., some kind of person, but his..., and he doesn’t always beat me, but sometimes... But there are also such who even demonstrate some aggression - it’s good for you to talk here, but how can I live without him, you thought?
What is this if not an ominous comfort zone?! A person prefers to remain with something bad, but familiar, than to encounter something different and perhaps better, but unknown.
How can we determine that comfort is no longer comfort, and that the “zone of well-being” has become a “zone of imprisonment”? Only our feelings and emotions can help us with this. If suddenly you feel that you have stopped enjoying life, that you lack new impressions, that instead of inspiration you are increasingly tired, that life for you is not an interesting adventure, but an ordinary routine is a signal that it’s time for something change. Your comfort zone “works” against you and you need to do something about it...
Continue reading in the topic
There is probably no person who has not yet heard this accordion of popular psychology - the Comfort Zone.
Briefly, it boils down to the following demagoguery: “Do you want to achieve at least something? Or something more? But know: what you strive for always lies outside your “comfort zone”. To get a chance, opportunities, circumstances and tools, you need to get out of your comfort zone, leave it and take a decisive step towards the unknown.”
Simply put, you need to start experiencing discomfort and disrupt your entire schedule, including digestion. Or not? In my opinion - yes. This is exactly what is meant.
Well, now let's look at this demagoguery through the magic crystal of Maslow's well-cut pyramid.
Old Man Maslow and his pyramid
I’ll tell you a secret that among psychologists they don’t like Maslow. To be honest, he's boring. And it’s common to laugh at his pyramid. So that first-year students would not hear.
But... Those who laugh at Maslow form two different camps, and this is worth understanding. Because some people who laugh have one reason for laughing, while others have a completely different reason. I agree with the first, perhaps, on some points. But I fundamentally don’t like the latter, I think that they cause harm to humanity and therefore I want to bring them to light.
The myth of the “Comfort Zone” is like a Dragon that prevents us from reaching the top of Maslow’s pyramid
You probably all remember the essence of Maslow’s ideas.
“A person cannot satisfy, or even even think, experience, the needs of a higher level (the top of the pyramid) while he needs more primitive things (lying at the base of the pyramid).”
Let’s remind ourselves what the “base of Maslow’s pyramid” is.
These are vital needs related not only to the health of the body, but also to the basic health of the psyche.
These, in fact, are the conditions for a person to simply be called alive and not half-dead.
These are the needs:
- satisfied hunger,
- satisfied thirst,
- satisfied need for security,
- feeling of confidence, lack of fear,
- healthy libido.
Let's assume that you and I have all this to some extent, satisfied. (Perfection in this post-fall world - you understand...)
But it’s a good time for us to think about the highest steps of Maslow’s pyramid. For example, learn Old Icelandic in order to read the sagas in the original. Or learn how to make films and make a movie. Or become a vegan chef.
And this is where the fun begins.
Meeting the Dragon in a bad Trainer costume
Driven by lofty goals, we sometimes go to a psychological website or a seminar, buy a book, download a popular lecture... and what do we hear? We hear lies.
We hear the following: “Do you want to change something in your life? Do you want to achieve something? Something more?
But you need to get out of your comfort zone! All good things lie outside your usual comfort zone.".
Yeah? What if I find it? And if I find something good in my comfort zone, you do squats a hundred and fifty times, will you apologize?
Immanuel Kant and his contemporaries, residents of Königsberg, would argue with this fashionable phrase of upstart coaches, which greatly distorts reality.
And the Russian writer Vasily Belov would also argue. He lived for 80 years in his village of Timonikha, in his “comfort zone.” And he was so successful that not he, but people came to Timonikha – all the way from Japan itself. But we started about Kant.
Boyan "Kant's Clock"
Kant lived a measured life, like Belov, for 80 years. Every day Kant exercised through the streets of his native city - walking. Residents of Koenigsberg and the bell ringer of the cathedral checked their own and the public clocks against the walking Kant.
Twice in his life Kant went for a walk at the wrong time (but still went out). When I read the new book by the hysterical boy Rousseau. And when I learned about the storming of the Bastille. You can understand.
Having left our comfort zone, we begin to naively wait - when will these desired chances, opportunities, circumstances and tools promised by the coach come so that we get “Something More” in life.
However, if you and I are stupid and naive people, we will believe a coach in a bad suit. And this means that we ourselves, with our own hands, will take a hammer in our hands and split into small shards the personal solid foundation of Maslov’s pyramid that we already have.
The mere fact that we “wanted” the top of the pyramid:
- there is a need for success, approval and recognition,
- that we have a need for Love,
- need for respect from others,
- the need to realize one's abilities,
- the need to make the world more beautiful, more harmonious, better,
- the need to formulate and set your goals,
- and finally, there was a need for a comprehensive search and clarification of one’s Personality
all this suggests that with our tender butts we are firmly sitting on the good, fit - warm (warmed by the sun) bottom part of the pyramid. And we're fine with:
- food,
- digestion,
- feeling “the house and the walls help”,
- we are not tormented by nightmares at night,
- Bank creditors and bandits are not chasing us,
- Our roommates don't steal our laptops,
- and (in Panikovsky’s words) “girls love us.” That is, under special lighting conditions, we basically like ourselves in the mirror.
But the stupidity started by the coaches continues.
Having left our comfort zone (that is, having destroyed all these blessings we have, gifted to us, by the way, by the Almighty), we begin to naively wait - when will these desired chances, opportunities, circumstances and tools promised by the coach come, so that we receive in life "Something More".
Come on, come to your senses. Remember poor Maslow. “A person cannot satisfy, or even even think, experience, needs of a higher level while he needs more primitive things.”
This is how the smart and cunning Dragon playfully defeats those who intend to formulate and set Their Goals. Making the world more harmonious and better. Realize your abilities. Search for your Personality. But at the same time I forgot that a person needs to sleep, eat and drink a lot of water.
As soon as we leave our comfort zone, we destroy some valuable resource that nourished our body and psyche.
And in order to stay alive, we need to start growing a new comfort zone - from scratch.
You cannot realize your abilities when your mental health is undermined by chronic stress repressed into the unconscious, increased levels of anxiety, social fears.
When your physical health and self-esteem are undermined by malnutrition, dehydration, lack of sleep, cramped living conditions and a collapse of libido, you will not be able to make the world more harmonious and better.
Leaving your comfort zone: a typical panorama
I don’t know what exactly popular coaches mean when they insist on the abstract “getting out of your comfort zone.” But I know how this works in practice for many people.
Firstly, a person stops eating normal homemade food. But he begins to eat coffee or Coca-Cola at work or disgusting and dangerous rubbish in public catering. He even stops washing his hands before eating. Sound familiar?
Secondly, a person tries to get more done through sleep.
Thirdly, a person leaves his native city (country). He lives in rented apartments, where he depends on the whims of the landlord and the decency of his neighbors.
Fourthly, a person takes out a loan... well, that’s all. Goodbye sleep, potency, hello anxiety, fears, stress.
The state of a person who has “stepped out of his comfort zone” reminds me of Paustovsky’s description of the unpleasant underbelly of war. Read it thoroughly. When you leave your comfort zone, much the same thing will happen to you:
“I spent three months in the war, endured all its hardships - shelling, cholera, hunger, and retreat. And he left there, from the front, with a very sad realization that happy is the one who has not seen the war and therefore cannot even imagine all its horror and ugliness. War is hunger, when people gnaw on stale bread crusts for two or three days, it means endless tedious marches through impassable mud, in the rain, marches that always take place at night, all wells, villages, huts are contaminated. Cholera, typhus, dysentery, and smallpox are everywhere. Everyone is angry. In war you will never hear simple human speech. There is vicious abuse everywhere and very often whips are used instead of words. War means tens of thousands of refugees dying of hunger and cholera, endless military convoys. All roads are like cemeteries. There are murders, robbery and arson everywhere.
And how naively, childishly some people think that in war there is a special heroic, majestic beauty. I saw the battle, was often under fire...
Everything young and good dies, a person becomes dull and, in his inclinations and actions, becomes more like an animal than a man. Human life, personality - what we are accustomed to value so deeply, a person who truly carries within himself the whole world, many wonderful opportunities - loses its value in war. They think that offending, hitting, killing is nothing. And this wild look infects even relatively smart, good people..."
From a letter from K.G. Paustovsky to S.N. Vysochansky. 1915
That’s why I never laugh at Maslow’s “pyramid” and believe that Maslow was essentially right.
“A person cannot experience high-level needs while he needs more primitive things.”
The second camp of those who laugh at Maslow
When dragon trainers laugh at Maslow, this is why they laugh. In practice, attempts to storm the top of the pyramid almost always come through destruction and denial of its bottom.
“Trainers” teach people exactly this scheme of action and obedient people actually stop sleeping, take out loans, storm other people’s unpleasant cities and countries, switch from homemade borscht to Coca-Cola 24/7.
But there are others who laugh at Maslow's pyramid.
They remember our greats who, during the siege, with legs swollen from hunger, wandered through frosty Leningrad to give a lecture. And a cultured person always has thousands of such examples. That’s why cultured people also laugh at Maslow, but in their own way.
Yes, Maslow is not entirely right. You can, being hungry and under the threat of night arrest, write poetry, make translations, restore frescoes and continue to open your establishment in the morning. It depends on what you need it all for. In the name of what?
It is important to clarify one subtle nuance here: “What are you actually striving for?”
Why do you need to leave your comfort zone?
The desire for recognition, Love, respect, the realization of abilities, the need to make the world more beautiful, more harmonious, better... Wait, aren’t these empty words in your case? Isn't it a fashionable major tone that has nothing behind it?
Are you ready to be shot for the top of the pyramid (like Gumilyov)?
Are you ready to die for her from consumption at 26 (Like Keats)?
Are you ready to spend your whole life in prison or in deep exile for the top of the pyramid?
Are you ready for half of your work to be lost and the rest to be forgotten for a hundred years?
Or will someone else take over your creations?
Are you ready to be unrecognized by your contemporaries during your lifetime?
Think about why you are going to leave your comfort zone, which now gives you everything you have. And don’t rush to leave your comfort zone unless absolutely necessary.
And now we propose to test your plan, your dream for “environmental friendliness” with the help of a simple exercise for psychological maps . And also to understand whether your dream is worth certain “sacrifices” in principle?What we have we don’t keep, when we lose it we cry
Any competent psychologist, listening to the dreams and goals of a client, will immediately say the common and correct phrase: “First check your dream for environmental friendliness.” What does it mean to “environmentally friendly plans to strive forward and upward”?
“An eco-friendly dream and goal” means that your journey towards this dream will not be associated with the inevitable damage that you will certainly cause to someone or something dear to you, including yourself, of course.
Well, for example, if getting a cool job (an invitation to film a TV series) requires you to stop breastfeeding your baby, then this is not environmentally friendly. Fuck this series.
If building a new space on your yard requires cutting down your dad's tree, then don't build that stupid shed, even if you can rent it out and make a profit. What money can compare to the memory of your father? Are you a Human or where?..
If a sport requires cutting off a girl’s long hair (for example, a swimming pool with chlorine every day), then don’t cut off the braid, it will come out on its own in 20 years.
Of course, if all this is NOT expensive for you (baby, daddy’s cherry hair and light brown braid), then go boldly towards your goal, you’re a good girl.
But, basically, our people are good... And all this is dear to them. Therefore, there are two options:
a person unconsciously puts a spoke in his wheels, resists his unecological goal and then wonders, “why doesn’t he succeed?!”
or a person, under the pressure of the “society of success,” sacrifices his precious, and his success comes to him, but takes on a bitter aftertaste - constant self-recrimination, grief from the feeling of losing something most important and beautiful, the feeling that you have been deceived... And the person is surprised , why does he have quite a lot, but does not feel happy at all? Maybe take some antidepressants? Ali, what training should I go to?
Exercise No. 1 “Is my “successful” plan environmentally friendly?”
We work with spontaneous maps "1000 Roads" if there is a Request (I have a plan, I want to check it).
POSITION ONE “WHAT DO WE HAVE...”
What can’t your mortal body live without? What is completely contraindicated for him? Road in the subway? Lack of amenities (such as water at a tap, toilet everywhere).
What can’t your living soul live without and what do the characteristics of your temperament call you to?
What conditions are simply contraindicated for your personality? Maybe an eternally screaming bazaar? Or, on the contrary, complete loneliness?
Draw conclusions - is the game worth the candle...
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Elena Nazarenko
The comfort zone is a facet of living space in which we feel relative psychological comfort. Most often, this is an area where relatively predictable phenomena that are familiar to us occur, which relax and lull the mind. That is, the comfort zone is not some “comfortable” place where an easy chair and soft drinks are prepared for us, but a state of “soul” in which we can allow ourselves to act “mechanically”, according to habitual patterns of thinking and behavior. The comfort zone seems cozy and safe, but in reality there is a serious threat lurking within it, which quietly turns the comfort zone into a quagmire of stagnation and withering.
Expanding your comfort zone as a development factor
The thing is that, staying in the comfort zone, a person does not develop. When everything is more or less satisfactory, most people do not feel any motivation to act, to make an effort, to work on themselves. And if there are no prerequisites for leaving the comfort zone, the consciousness falls asleep, and the person imperceptibly regresses. During long-term stagnation, when you don’t leave your comfort zone for a long time, even a small step outside it can cause real stress.
The comfort zone can be thought of as a kind of sphere within which we feel “at home.” And if this sphere is a small social “aquarium”, a person feels comfortable in fairly limited conditions, and it is difficult for him to navigate life. Leaving our comfort zone, we move towards the unknown. And if the unknown is anticipated as something positive, acceptance is activated, and when going beyond the boundaries of the comfort zone, interest is experienced. Otherwise, the unknown can cause worry, anxiety and fear. Going beyond the comfort zone is a step into a new state where mental supports have not yet been developed. Usually such steps are taken carefully so as not to fall too far beyond the boundaries of normal life. Abrupt changes cause mental disorientation and anxiety.
One of the most obvious examples of expanding your comfort zone is growing up. When a child leaves his mother's womb and finds himself in an unknown, frightening reality, he still does not have a comfort zone as such. Over time, as repeated sensations are experienced, the consciousness begins to fix the “habitual”, and the child calms down a little. Finding its first psychological supports, the child’s consciousness creates an initial comfort zone within which he feels safe. Further maturation and expansion of the child’s comfort zone occurs through the development of independence and autonomy.
Mental maturation is inevitably associated with the continuous expansion of the comfort zone. This rule is also true for adults, who often stop growing up after twenty or thirty years of age and begin to grow old. Children are expanding their comfort zone rapidly, because... have a great interest in what is happening in life. In principle, psychological maturation can occur throughout one's life. If you keep your mind in good shape, it can improve continuously.
Our comfort zone is also our current stage of personality development. By clinging to the comfortable aspects of the current stage, we simultaneously cling to all its problematic aspects. The comfort zone fixes a person at a certain stage of life with all the problems that are characteristic of this stage. And to get rid of these problems, you need to go beyond your comfort zone. A task whose solution is outside the comfort zone becomes a problem. Solving problems automatically expands your comfort zone and advances you on the path to personal development.
Expanding the comfort zone turns recent “problems” into tasks, the solution of which no longer causes mental discomfort. Thus, if we, for example, have ten problems at the current stage of development, solving one of them can turn the remaining problems into tasks. By expanding our comfort zone, we are surprised to discover that once complex things become simple and understandable.
Expanding the comfort zone is a kind of expansion of the conscious part of the psyche into the territory of the unconscious. In other words, by expanding our comfort zone, we expand our consciousness. By solving external problems, we at the same time “conquer” new “territories” from our unconscious. At this time, various fears, blocks and clamps that kept the mind within its usual boundaries are released. There is a separate article about this on progressman.ru, “Warning about experiences during personality development.”
Narrowing of the comfort zone as a factor of degradation
If a person avoids growing up and takes root in his comfort zone, his level of awareness drops, the person becomes infantile, and when approaching the boundaries of his narrow comfort zone, he experiences irritability and anxiety. Addicts are intensely rooted in a narrow comfort zone, being high. When the effect of the drug wears off, the familiar world seems prickly and scary because it no longer fits into the addict’s narrow comfort zone.
When a person realizes the danger of getting stuck in the comfort zone, the comfort zone itself (as a mental system) begins to include internal mechanisms for the development and expansion of its own areas. Such typical components of a comfort zone as having money, food and conditions for relaxation can sometimes be reduced to the presence of a comfortable sofa and beer in the refrigerator. And for some, this minimum may become the line beyond which there is nothing more to strive for. And if such a person can afford to stay in such a comfort zone for a long period of time, rapid degradation awaits him. Alcoholism and drug addiction are simply short-sighted ways to “simplify” life, moving along the path of least resistance. The tendency to narrow the comfort zone is a path to nowhere, this is a regression in which a person becomes an alcoholic, loses his job, family, home and becomes homeless.
Many “spirituality addicts” run away from life into a limited comfort zone that is offered to them by “teachings” that devalue life. Unfortunately, the devaluation of worldly things, followed by joining a sect, most often occurs when a person simply does not want to expand his own comfort zone, when it is easier for him to fall asleep in spiritual illusions, instead of making efforts, overcoming his fears, taking responsibility for decisions, realize and accept reality here and now. All these measures are the true spiritual path, personal development and self-knowledge. Of course, for example, workaholics have their extremes, when it is easier for a person to lose himself in work than to solve accumulated psychological problems. Moderation in everything gives balance.
Leaving your comfort zone, moderately expanding its limits, without leading to stress and neurosis, is useful in all respects. An active lifestyle, sports, self-development, hard work - this is the same path of least resistance. The difference between a drug addict and a healthy, “successful” person is only in their awareness of the possible consequences of their lifestyle. In the comfort zone of a successful person there are paths that lead beyond it. A sage's comfort zone includes the practice of expanding one's comfort zone. The wise path of least resistance is the path of accepting life here and now. Thanks to this acceptance, everything you feel becomes a comfort zone. When a person accepts the present moment, his home is where he is. This is “rest in motion, and motion in rest.”
Sometimes we have the illusion that it is much more comfortable and safer to hide from the world and live quietly, “keeping a low profile.” But this is an illusion. True security is the ability to expand your comfort zone and, at least on a relative level, manage your life. And if, as a pet or as a fish, you live in a cozy aquarium, an external source can break this “aquarium”, and you will find yourself in a place where there will be no trace of your usual comfort. When there is a “habit” of expanding the comfort zone without clinging to the usual supports, then even a complete “nagual”, a state of absolute supportlessness, where there is nothing familiar, will be tolerated relatively easily.
For life to become comfortable, we must be prepared for this comfort. We must be able to work on ourselves, even when no magical “kicks” fly out from the outside world and no incentives for development arrive. In our comfort zone, we should learn to develop internal incentives for development that do not depend on external conditions. The comfort zone is just another way to remind us of our illusions, which sometimes seem miles away from reality. Sometimes it’s easier for us to forget and fall asleep in the “cozy” cage of our usual life, or even while running in an everyday rut, where we rush around in circles, like a squirrel in a wheel. The moment of “waking up” from such dreams can be painful. Therefore, it is actually easier to remain awakened without leaving the true comfort zone, while consciously moving beyond the false one. The true comfort zone is continuous personal development and self-knowledge.
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