Basic rules for peace in life. New positive psychology

In this article I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form of sequential lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and simply worry about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has how psychological so and physiological reasons and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, I consider situations of the second type to be the main reason for nervousness in everyday life. Fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people- all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
If you are often nervous, this can lead to various diseases (however, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.
You are prone to bad habits: alcohol, because you need to relieve stress with something

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and were deprived. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
You can get rid of it by working on yourself
In everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened by anything, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until I was 24 years old, I experienced big pain. I couldn’t pull myself together in stressful situations, I worried about every little thing, I even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges, “panic attacks,” dizziness, etc. began to be observed. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but still, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m on the right path and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not have existed.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous about anything?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of an altercation on public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This psychological setting helps a lot stop being nervous about anything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of the mind, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before an important event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize that an important event awaits you ahead, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
exhale for 4 counts/beats
do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

You just need to breathe with your diaphragm, that is, with your stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into a state of calm.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! This is the most important thing. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. When practiced regularly, breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also in general puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing correctly at the end of this article. In this video I talk about how to cope with panic using breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid nervousness during an important meeting.

Pretend to be calm: even if neither your emotional mood nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your current state. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This operates on the principle of feedback, not only how you feel determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine how you feel. This principle is easy to test: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood before. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: The feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And it’s not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts on one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Are you tying your left big toe and little toe into a knot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

Take your time: rush and bustle always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, take your time even if you are late for a meeting. Since any rush very quickly disrupts composure and a calm mood. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how much you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, it is better to save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of haste in every aspect of your life: when you are getting ready for work, traveling in public transport, doing work. It is an illusion that when you rush, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call “ watch yourself". The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. There is no need to try to make an impression in all available ways, you will make one if you do everything right and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

When I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, I went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that there was so much that had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I I won’t hand over something, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I’m talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and don’t put it off until the last minute! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, or better yet several! This will save you a significant part of your nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop getting nervous over trifles

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I’ll tell you about will be those rules, by following which you can strengthen your nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result of this you will understand how to stop being nervous over trifles. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not just prepare you for a responsible event.

Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
Secondly, go in for sports () and take a set of health-supporting measures (contrast showers, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). A healthy body has a healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sports strengthens the nervous system.
Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.

Tom Butler-Bowdon

Don't worry about trifles... These are all the little things in life. Richard Carlson (review)

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Everything will be fine!

The authors provide recommendations on medicine, holistic health, nutrition, and psychology in a very engaging yet concise manner that can be followed by anyone, anytime, anywhere. A detailed questionnaire is proposed for self-diagnosis. In addition, the final chapter consists entirely of detailed tables of correspondence between diseases and their psychological root causes, as well as psychosomatic ways to get rid of ailments.

Live easy!

Popular Australian psychologist, artist and writer Andrew Matthews uses simple words, pithy aphorisms and bright, cheerful illustrations to talk about complex things: the laws of nature, life lessons, human thoughts, beliefs and attachments. "Live easy!" - a global bestseller about a positive perception of the world, your road map to joy, success and happiness, a new wise look at the world around you.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Norman Vincent Peale was an outstanding speaker, and his life's work continues to be carried on by the Peale Center in New York. In his book, he talks about how you can achieve anything you want in life if you have faith.

NLP: Technologies for Success

“People work flawlessly.” Program yourself with new thoughts, actions and feelings, and you will get a completely new life. The author of the book, Charles Faulkner, is the pioneer of a number of accelerated language learning methods, but he is best known for developing NLP methods in the field of financial decision making and modeling successful sales strategies in the securities market.

New positive psychology

Don't worry about trifles... All these are the little things in life

“So many people spend a huge amount of their energy “stressing over nothing”, they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life. When you start moving towards this goal, you will realize that you have much more energy left to be kinder and gentler.”

In a nutshell

Forget about your troubles - and this will allow you to get more pleasure from communicating with people and from life in general.

In a similar vein

Marcus Aurelius. Reflections

Wayne Dyer. The real magic of success

Norman Vincent Peale. The Power of Positive Thinking

Martin Seligman. How to learn optimism

Richard Carlson

Book “Don’t worry about trifles... All these are the little things in life” became a real world bestseller. The history of the book's title is explained by the author in the preface. One foreign publisher asked Carlson to get a review of his book "Get back your joy in life" from acclaimed bestselling self-help author Wayne Dyer. Since Dyer was writing a blurb for his previous book, Carlson said he would give it a try and sent in the request.

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Do you often worry? The reason is at every turn: the salary is not enough and the position is not the most prestigious, I am not as handsome as I could be, I, as always, am not the smartest in the team, Vitka plays the guitar like a guitar, I don’t have my own apartment or I do, but New furniture wouldn't hurt, let alone a car... How much time do you spend on these worries? Seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, years...

Is this right?

In order to understand this difficult situation, let's turn to a professional psychologist, founder and head of the Sinton Center for Practical Psychology - Nikolai Ivanovich Kozlov.

Allowing your soul to be disturbed by all sorts of nonsense is simply disrespect for yourself.

One of the main qualities of wisdom is the ability to distinguish real values from imaginary ones, truly important things from trifles. We can debate whether it's worth getting upset about big things, but obviously it's stupid to get upset about little things. It is absurd to worry about losing your wallet when each of us daily wastes millions of unique moments of our lives, meaninglessly wasting hours, days and years.

“There are only three sorrows - illness, death, bad children. Everything else is trouble." Value life, friendship, health, family - and do not sigh tragically: “Here, there is no closet...”.

You are a billionaire. How many millions would you value that you have life, arms, legs, sight, hearing (I hope you remember that not everyone has this...)? How, having all this, can you lament the loss of a thousand rubles? If a billionaire laments this, he is either crazy or unscrupulous.

Does this not concern you?

The sage is a cruel person. He always remembers what we would like to forget and from which we, like ostriches, hide our heads in the sand: he remembers the possibility of loneliness, poverty, death... And it is against such a background that each event acquires its real significance:

“I was sad because I didn’t have shoes
Until I saw you on the street
A man who had no legs."

To avoid confusing little things with something else, calm down. Count to ten, take a breath, try to distract yourself, take your time. If you can just go to bed, do it: “the morning is wiser than the evening.” Ask yourself: is the damage really bad? How would a calm, wise person evaluate what happened? How will you look at this situation in a year? in twenty years?

Maybe I have a bad memory, but now I can’t remember situations from my past that would make me very worried and upset now. Yes, there was a lot, but nothing terrible. If it was so in the past, then it will be so in the future, and there is no reason to worry.

Open your eyes to the worst and accept it. Are you afraid of losing something? Imagine that this has already happened. Can you live without it? Will you survive? What if you never had this at all? Is it possible to be happy in this situation?

Trouble arose with the Club. Yes, the Club is very dear to me - but I can easily imagine life without it. I have many things and people dear to me in my life, but there is nothing that I couldn’t live without.

The child is born naked and helpless. And if you ever find yourself naked and helpless, it only means that you, like a child, have a chance to start living all over again. The child is ready for this. What about you?

Life can present any surprises - learn to accept the inevitable. If the situation is hopeless, don’t bang your head against the wall, accept what happened. Consider that you started living all over again, from this initial level. How will you live?

You can survive everything and you can always be happy.

In the worst case, you will die: will humanity survive this? - He will survive. Well, good.

Of course, when you read a book, everything is obvious and simple, it is much more difficult to apply this in life, and behaving this way every day is correct. At the Sinton training center, we have created a whole training course - the Synton Program, which includes all our unique developments. It is here that you will learn to be happy, perceive the world and yourself richer and more correctly, and most importantly, you will learn to do this always.

Of course, no one will argue that a narrowly optimistic view of life impoverishes it just as much as a stupidly pessimistic one. As a rule, one must perceive life in its entirety, with all its pros and cons, exclamation and question marks, millions of mutual transitions - yes!

But “as a rule” does not mean “always and necessarily.”

If they start beating you with sticks and you cannot prevent it, is it worth accepting the blows with sticks in their entirety? Or is it worth closing yourself and defending yourself as much as possible during this beating? Will we condemn this as “escape from life” or a reasonable way out in a forced situation?

And if you are going through a rough patch in life and have no strength, wouldn’t it be better for a while (for someone who knows how to do this) to turn off their emotions so as not to “break down”? Of course, this will impoverish the picture of your life, you will lose some acute impressions, but you will not get stomach ulcers (hypertension, heart attack - who is predisposed to what), you will not shorten your life expectancy and you will be able to enjoy life in all its bright manifestations longer.

If the phrase “turn off your emotions” sounds too harsh for someone, you can formulate the same thing differently: “change the evaluative-experiential attitude to a constructive-active one.” This means facing difficulties and problems not with questions: “Oh, what will happen now??” (and have corresponding emotions trailing behind these questions), but ascertaining and active: “This is. What to do now, how to get out of the situation with the least losses?”

Your worries do not solve the problem. It’s better if there is even the slightest chance to correct the situation, use it.

I learned this advice back in school, when a MEPhI professor, the father of our classmate Nina Ivanova, studied mathematics with us as an elective. He taught: “Suppose you get a bad ticket in an exam and you don’t know it. Don’t waste time worrying about despair: “Oh, why me?..” and “What will happen now?” You still have half an hour before the answer - use it as productively as possible. Remember everything you know and come up with something that is as close to the answer as possible. Think about the beginning and possible continuation options. Get busy, not worry." I remembered this, and since then this advice has helped me many times.

This should become a way of life and act automatically, especially in extreme situations. Anyone who gets confused and allows emotions to take over the soul risks too much.

This morning, five of us (including Sashka’s nephew) went for a ride on a dugout boat and capsized when Marta, Sashka’s shepherd dog, decided to jump out of the boat. It’s deep, the children have sunk to the bottom, the wife doesn’t know how to swim. What is there to worry about!! It was necessary to catch everyone, which is what Sasha and I successfully did. Then they ran to the village, lit the stove to warm everyone up (the day was not hot), then in stories to each other they framed it all as an amusing adventure...

Sometimes circumstances are stronger than us and you face defeat. Well, if there is no chance of winning, do anything. Taking action is one of the best ways to calm down. Do what you want, just don't be sour.

I'm just lucky in this regard. I'm a very busy person, so I simply don't have time to worry.

You can also read other psychological articles on the sites.

“Don’t worry about the little things... these are all the little things in life” became a worldwide bestseller. This book is a practical guide that is based on the eternal spiritual law: choose the path of least resistance. “Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... It's the Little Things in Life” is not a self-improvement guide, but simply a collection of ideas to help you avoid stressful situations if possible. One hundred strategies, presented in short essays, have already proven their effectiveness.
The main value of the book lies in the recognition of the exaggerated demands of modern life and the culture in which we all live in relation to humans. We may enjoy meditation exercises, special relaxation programs or a Sunday walk on the beach, but the effect of these activities soon wears off, and by Tuesday we are back to driving, irritable and worried about lost time.
How can you bring peace and perspective into your daily life?
Many of Carlson's recipes are quite simple, while others, on the contrary, are revolutionary. Below are some of the one hundred strategies that are outlined in this book.

“So many people spend their time “fussing about little things” and spending a huge amount of vital energy on this, that they completely lose touch with the mystical side of life and cannot see its beauty. As you work toward this goal, you will find that you have more energy to be kind and generous.”

Become a morning person

When Carlson himself began to get up long before his children and wife, he realized that he could use this “golden time” for reading, thinking, and making plans for the day in peace and solitude. Many of his listeners told him that just this small act of becoming a morning person changed their entire lives.
Get rid of the illusion that noble and calm people cannot achieve much
A frantic life, full of constant surprises, seems to best correspond to our ideas about a strong, accomplished person. The desire to become more calm and loving, on the contrary, is associated with sleep apathy. However, a stressful mindset and constant change rob our lives of purpose and true success. Carlson notes that he was very lucky: he was surrounded by calm and relaxed people who, nevertheless, were very successful in life. If inner peace becomes your habit, then achieving your goals and helping others will become incredibly easy.

Don't interrupt others or finish their sentences

It's a surprisingly easy way to become a more relaxed, loving person. Just try it this way.

Learn to live more in the present tense

John Lennon said that "life is what happens when we are busy with other plans." If you pay attention to the present moment, the fear that is more associated with an imagined future will disappear from your life. You'll be surprised at how easily tomorrow's problems begin to evaporate when you don't think about them. Make paying attention to the present time a habit of your mind and see how much your life changes.
Ask yourself, “Will this still matter to me a year from now?”
When Carlson began asking himself this question frequently about troubles that were making him upset, he found that he wanted to laugh. The energy that he previously spent on worry and anger was now spent on creativity and family.

Allow yourself to do nothing

Don't be afraid to rest. You are a person, not a “human machine”, so just be yourself and take into account the need for rest. You'll be amazed at how quickly this will clear your mind once you get past the initial feeling of discomfort and enable you to create new ideas.

Imagine yourself at your own funeral

This is an incredibly powerful way to return to the values that truly matter to you now, while it still makes sense. Few people will look back on their lives and be glad that they spent so much time and energy worrying about little things. Ask yourself: “What kind of person was I? Did I do what I liked and did I really love those. people who were there for me every day?

Imagine the people who live next to you, babies or centenarians
This will almost always give you a sense of perspective and a sense of compassion (as well as surprise and admiration).

Re-evaluate your significant achievements

Instead of thinking about achievements as something external, ask yourself about achievements from the perspective of your inner self. In this case, achievement may include calmness in the face of the unknown.

Be open to “what is”

The world quite often is not the way we want it to be. When someone is disappointed in you, even if it is a very close person, or you make some mistake at work, admit that this is the case and do not automatically react to the event with too much emotion.
After some time, what bothered you so much will dissolve without any consequences. In many cases you will be able to be more free.

Other strategies include:

- Just for fun, agree with the criticism directed at you (and then watch how
it will disappear).

-Be grateful when you experience joy and generous when you experience pain.

- Be happy with what you have.

- Give yourself time to relax.

The book is written so easily that you can pick it up even when you don't have much time, open it to any page and get the lesson of wisdom or inspiration you need. It does not contain lengthy proofs or life stories, but contains condensed information that would take hundreds of pages in other works. If at least two or three strategies remain in your mind, then you have not read this book in vain.
“One of the main reasons why people are constantly in a hurry, afraid, competitive with others, and continue to live as if they are in great danger, is because fear prevents them from being more calm and loving. This fear tells them that if they relaxed, they would stop achieving their previous goals. They would become lazy and apathetic. You can let go of this fear by realizing that just the opposite works. A nervous and unbalanced state takes a lot of energy and reduces our ability to be creative and constructive.”

Source: http://merzha.com.ua