In the lives of completely different people, situations occur when it is necessary to talk about another person. How to build a narrative correctly? How to tell about a person in an interesting and exciting way? But sometimes a “dry” retelling of specific facts is required - for example, when drawing up a profile from a place of work or study, or when drawing up a verbal portrait. Now about the different verbal forms of representing a person in detail.

A boring story about a person, as about yourself

This is exactly how a story should be told about a specific person. When they ask: well, tell us about kind people - there is nothing better than making up your own story from small stories. Brief verbal sketches from life will help you form an impression of an unknown person, and help you learn more interesting facts about a well-known person. As with any story, there must be a “backbone” of the story - a beginning, middle and end. The content of these main components directly depends on the goal pursued by the narrator, the audience and the semantic load.

For example, when talking about the founder of a perfume company to a female audience, it should be taken into account that listeners with great interest will catch every word from a person’s life, peppered with intimate details or love meaning. It is worth understanding that the success of any story lies precisely in this – in taking into account the interests of the intended audience. Having dealt with the artistic story, it is worth paying attention to another type of verbal representation of a person - characterization.

Characteristics of fate

The characterization focuses on facts (dates, places of work/study, positions held). In addition, with such a presentation, a qualitative assessment of a person’s activity at a particular place of work/study is necessarily given. For example, this is what a profile for an employee of an organization might look like:

JSC "Neptunsk", Petrozavodsk

Has been working in the organization since 2000.

He proved himself to be an executive and responsible employee. Possesses the necessary professionalism and business skills in the industry. Constantly improved his professional level. Sociable and responsive...” When drawing up a characterization, you should remember that the presentation uses a business style. Having decided on compiling a characterization, it’s worth thinking about what can be said about a person using a presentation method such as a “verbal portrait”?

Portrait in words

The most detailed and clear method of describing a person’s appearance is a verbal portrait. As a rule, it is compiled by criminologists when searching for a particular person. This takes into account:

• anatomical characteristics;
• functional signs;
• special signs;
• manners;
• cloth;
• decorations.

When describing each of the characteristics, criminologists carefully highlight all the small details, from the shape of the tip of the nose to the manner of speaking. It is a detailed description of a person’s external features that is a distinctive feature of a verbal portrait.

It turns out that depending on the needs and different situations, one and the same person can be described in completely different ways. Brightly, colorfully - with the help of an artistic story, in a businesslike manner - by writing a description. Or display all external features in a verbal portrait.

What can you tell about a person just by looking at him?

There is an expression " Never judge a book by its cover " But when it comes to people, this is where we start judging a person by their appearance (cover). Some people think this is wrong, but appearance can say a lot and it is wrong to think that appearance is deceptive. Appearance can reveal a lot, but not everything. However, it is worth paying attention to it. I don’t think that you will communicate with a person who is not attractive to you outwardly. Scientists observed people and discovered something interesting about them.

Shoes are one of the most important indicators of a person's appearance.

Food preferences reveal a person very strongly and accurately. People who prefer marinated, rice, and seafood in their food are usually cheerful, simple, but can be sarcastic in moderation. Food completely reveals a person. It is believed that most people with a sweet tooth are kind and attentive. For example, children, they can eat tons of sweets, but they are so cute. But here it is worth remembering that sweets should be eaten within reasonable limits - otherwise this is a direct path to diabetes.

Birth of a child- a joyful event in the life of any woman. However, research shows that 1 in 10 women suffer from postpartum depression. There is nothing surprising here; childbirth is a very heavy burden, both mental and physical. Women may lose sleep because there is simply no time left for it. Research has found that most women rock their babies to sleep " not the main one"by hand. Since most of us are right-handed, they do it with their left hand. This suggests that everything is normal, but if it’s the other way around, then it’s worth thinking about. Scientists have made the assumption that maternal depression and stress involves the dominant hand, and thus the mother tries to protect her child from stress and depression.

Society also has an opinion about “ bad boys" But who are " bad boys"? Usually men act as a team, and, as you know, one is not a warrior in the field. Externally " bad boy"looks like a gopnik: athletic appearance with sportswear, beer, wide face with a toothy smile and rough features. They do a lot of bad things not because they are cruel, but because dominance is in their blood, they react like a bull in a bullfight to a red rag. They constantly need competition in order to constantly win battles, they cannot sit for a minute without success and winning, they definitely need to emerge victorious in this battle. Such people are capable of creating a powerful aggressive team that will destroy everything and everyone in its path. It’s just somehow difficult to realize that your character is determined by whether testosterone is gushing in your blood or not without your knowledge.

Some will say symmetry, asymmetry, but the main thing is that the person is good at heart. And he will be right in some ways. It is difficult to judge a person after being with him for just a few minutes. And also externally. Often, the first opinion is wrong. You need to communicate with some people for years to understand one or another of their actions. No person has only bad or only good. Each of us has our own advantages and disadvantages.

The knowledge presented in this article may be useful to you in the future when you need to evaluate people with whom you need to communicate for a short period of time. These are your customers, business partners, etc. But, again, it would be wrong to judge a person entirely by their shoes.

What can you tell about a person by the way he laughs?

The most accurate philosophical definition of laughter is: “Laughter is a reaction of surprise at something unexpected.” The reasons for laughter can be very different: a joke, some incident in everyday life, a play on words that you were not counting on, or a cup falling off the table, or maybe a person who slipped and fell in the mud.

Psychology considers laughter a primitive reaction caused by a process that will provide good material for judging a person. If we want to learn something about the people around us, given the way they laugh, we first need to consider the expressions of their faces and eyes.

- Loud laughter for insignificant reasons speaks of the following character qualities: uncertainty, gullibility, indecisiveness, imprudence, lack of independence, helpfulness and primitive friendliness.

- Laughter is short, restrained, rare, not very loud: thoroughness, persistence, restraint, loyalty, isolation, efficiency.

- Laughter with an open mouth, which is often accompanied by energetic head movements: this person can change his attitude towards you and the manner of addressing you. Malice or envy with outward good nature.

- Ironic laughter, which is expressed only with the lips: great claims, hard-heartedness, bitterness, a tendency to fall into anger, vindictiveness, deceit.

— The laughter is rare, cautious, natural, the lips hardly laugh at all: prudence, wit, patience, perseverance.

- A bleating, unpleasant laugh: you need to be very careful with this type of people. Even if they make a good impression, they are unreliable, can betray, hate their environment, and always have a special opinion.

- Laughter with a twisted mouth: timidity, understatement, uncertainty due to lack of clarity and frankness.

— Smile with compressed lips: be careful - the person is very secretive.

In addition, laughter can be considered from the sound side. Psychologists distinguish the following sounds that accompany laughter: growling, laughter with a stupid smile, giggling laughter, squealing. The vowels “a”, “e”, “i”, “o”, “u” give it its sound.

- The sound of “ha-ha”: a person laughs openly, from the bottom of his heart, in a deep bass or high-pitched voice, reminiscent of the ringing of a bell. Only people who rejoice openly, without hiding anything, can laugh like this.

- Sound "hehe": a type of bleating laughter, ironic, deliberate or laughter caused by an inferiority complex. You need to be just as careful with these people.

- The sound “hee-hee”: hypocrisy, sometimes such laughter reflects satisfaction. These are, in general, less dangerous people than those who laugh with the sound hehehe.

- The sound of “ho-ho”: this is how a person laughs, seized by real or skillfully acted horror, if it has already passed. Also, such laughter can be cutesy.

This term was coined in 1992 by psychologists Nalini Ambady and Robert Rosenthal. They used it to study the phenomenon of first impression and social intuition.

According to the hypothesis, a person's nonverbal behavior can tell a lot about him. To test this assumption, the scientists recorded 10-second silent videos of Harvard professors giving lectures. The video was shown to people unfamiliar with the teachers and they were asked to rate the speakers using 15 parameters (“thin slices”). Volunteers judged how active the lecturers were, confident, sincere, and so on.

Then the experiment was repeated, but 5-second videos were shown to another group of viewers. Surprisingly, the thin sections in both cases were almost identical. The scientists went further: the timing was reduced to 2 seconds, and the participants in the experiment were again updated. The result was repeated.

After this, the researchers asked students to characterize teachers who attend their lectures and have known them for more than one semester. And here lay the main surprise.

Thin sections among students and outside observers who evaluated teachers only on short “silent” videos were almost identical. This allowed us to summarize:

People make conclusions about those they see for the first time very quickly, literally within the first 2 seconds of communication. Moreover, their judgment has nothing to do with what the person says.

Let's find out what thin slices people make about us in the first seconds of meeting us.

Trust

Alexander Todorov and Janine Willis from Princeton University found that people judge someone's trustworthiness within 100 milliseconds.

One group was shown photographs of people they didn't know and asked to rate their attractiveness, competence, and trustworthiness. Each picture was shown for 0.1 seconds. The other group was given the same pictures, but there was no time limit. As a result, the assessments of the experiment participants who looked at the photographs for only 100 milliseconds coincided with the assessments of those who looked at the photos as much as they wanted. The correlation was especially strong when assessing the level of trust in a person.

Social status

A study by Dutch scientists showed that people use clothing as a social marker that determines an individual's position in society and income level. When a person wears Tommy Hilfiger, Lacoste or other famous brands, others think that he has a high position.

In one experiment, participants were shown videos of interviews of applicants for a laboratory assistant position at a university. Some applicants wore simple white shirts, while others wore shirts with a clearly marked brand. But everyone's actions and speech were identical. Each volunteer was shown only one video, after watching which he had to rate on a seven-point scale how worthy this or that applicant is of the position and what his social status is. The social status of applicants wearing designer clothes was rated higher, as were their chances of getting a job.

Sexual orientation

Nalini Ambady and Nicholas Rule conducted a study and found that a man's sexual orientation can be determined in 50 milliseconds.

Volunteers were shown photographs of men (hetero and homo) from dating sites in random order for different time intervals. With 50 milliseconds of visual contact with a photo, the accuracy of sexual orientation judgments was 62%.

Approximately the same results were obtained in a study of the likelihood of identifying women's sexual identity based on their faces (Rule, Ambady, & Hallett, 2009). Moreover, this required even less time - 0.04 seconds.

Intelligence

Loyola University Los Angeles psychology professor Nora A. Murphy suggests that the ability to make eye contact is considered a sign of intelligence. Those who do not look away when they meet give the impression of being more intellectually developed people.

Murphy tried to determine by what criteria people evaluate mental abilities. To do this, the subjects were divided into two groups: the first were asked to clearly demonstrate erudition during a conversation recorded on video; the others were not given such instructions. All participants passed an IQ test. Those “playing” behaved approximately the same: they maintained their posture, made a serious face and certainly looked into the eyes of their interlocutor. And it was in this group that viewers most often reliably determined the level of intelligence of the participants, including low ones.

Eye contact during conversation is key to behavior. This is interconnected with the assessment of intelligence, which can be manipulated if you do not hide your eyes.

In addition to this, there are other stereotypes that shape the idea of ​​a person’s mind. For example, wearing solid glasses.

If you want to be, and not seem, read the articles “” and “”.

Promiscuity

British scientists have found that women with tattoos on prominent parts of the body are perceived as more promiscuous (who occasionally like to drink heavily and are promiscuous).

Study authors Viren Swami and Adrian Furham showed participants photographs of women in swimsuits. Some of them had tattoos on their stomachs, others - on their arms, others had both here and there, and others did not have them. Volunteers were asked to rate women on three parameters:

• moral stability;
• alcohol consumption;
• physical attractiveness.

The more tattooed a woman was, the less attractive and chaste she was considered. “A girl with a tattoo in the eyes of the public is a tomboy who loves alcohol, cool cars and the attention of men,” the scientists concluded.

Leadership

Albert E. Mannes from the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania found that bald men are considered dominant and are perceived as leaders who can successfully lead a team.

The scientist conducted a series of experiments. During one of them, he showed photographs of men with and without hair. The people in the photo were the same age and wearing the same clothes. Volunteers had to look at the pictures and say which of the men was stronger morally and physically. The palm went to the bald ones.

Success

A team of British-Turkish researchers found that people wearing tailored suits appear to be more successful in their careers.

Researchers also came to this conclusion during experiments with photographs. Volunteers only had 5 seconds to make a conclusion.

If you want to improve your image and look more successful in the eyes of others, wear clothes that are custom-made by a good tailor.

The study also says that women wearing sexy skirts and low-cut blouses are perceived as lower status workers than women who adhere to a strict dress code. Scientists attribute this to the fact that a closed body is a sign of power. From time immemorial, representatives of security forces wore closed robes.

Potential

In 2011, Canadian researchers came to the following conclusion: in the eyes of others, men who prefer a classic business suit achieve fame, money and success faster than adherents of a casual style.

Participants in the experiment were shown photographs of models. Some of them were in elegant suits, while others were in simple everyday clothes. Volunteers were asked to predict who the people in the photo would work as and what fate awaited them. As a result, men in jeans and sweaters were assigned lower wages and positions, even if they sat in leather chairs in posh offices. On the contrary, people in formal suits were judged as “kings of life”: they will have a lot of money, they will quickly achieve success.

Adventurism

Researchers at Durham University have discovered a link between gait and a sense of adventure. In their opinion, a free and relaxed gait speaks of extroversion and a penchant for adventure. While a jerky gait is characteristic of neurotic individuals.

The conclusions were drawn from an experiment where students watched videos of people walking.

As you can see, the folk wisdom “one meets people by their clothes...” has scientific justification. At the same time, the first impression made by a person often remains final.

What do you pay attention to when meeting people and why? Tell us in the comments.

Gait is the physiognomy of the body, according to Balzac. By a person's gait you can determine not only his gender and age, but also his mood, character, and social affiliation. How to determine the meaning of gait?

Let's start with the simplest thing - with the gait of a confident person. If a person walks smoothly, straight, swiftly, the pace of his steps is fast, this indicates the confidence of the owner of such a gait. If a person shuffles his feet, his arms dangle out of step, and his head is lowered, it feels like he is going to execution or carrying a heavy burden, this indicates a disorder of feelings, deep depression. Perhaps the person is in a state of crisis or is facing a not very pleasant meeting. Therefore, if you notice that a person is walking towards a meeting with you, shuffling his feet, this may indicate his reluctance to see you, he does this out of necessity.

A bouncing gait (a person seems to be springing on his feet) can have a double meaning. First. The direct meaning of such a gait is a happy, unclouded mood, joyful events occur in a person’s life, he is happy and cheerful, cheerful, and positive. The second meaning, more hidden: a person deliberately tries to be cheerful and carefree, although in fact he is oppressed by something. It is very easy to calculate imaginary joy; just pay attention to facial expressions and gestures.

If a person does not straighten his knees and walks on half-bent legs, this may be evidence of his advanced age and pain in the joints, but if the owner of such a gait is young, then this feature indicates that he is unsure of himself, withdrawn, and suspicious.

If a person throws his legs strongly to the sides, his hands can rest in his pockets or prop up his sides, his posture resembles the letter “F”. This is either a sign of excessive self-confidence or carelessness, lack of employment, or constant idleness. He paces this way because he simply has nowhere to rush, he is not burdened with any responsibilities.

A careful person very often, when walking, first steps on his heels and rolls lightly onto his toes; you will never see him resting on his entire foot. He is careful in everything, including his gait.

If a person knocks his feet very hard while walking, this means that he wants to attract as much attention as possible from others. He feels like a very important person, wanting to loudly announce his appearance.

Women's gait should be discussed separately. By the way a woman moves, you can determine her goal, her life attitude. If a woman walks slowly, taking small steps, smoothly swaying her hips, then she is currently in the mood to find a companion, her goal is to attract surrounding men.

If a woman walks confidently, kicking her heels, her hips move from side to side very sharply, this indicates her mood for business communication. This is a firm, business woman who is unlikely to easily give up her principles.

A woman shifts from one leg to another, which means she has not learned to use the most important female tool - gait. Such a woman is used to doing housework. Her destiny is home, life, family. Perhaps she is a mother of many children.

If a woman minces her feet, walks quickly, swings her arms wildly, practically without swaying her hips, this is a sign of emancipation. With her gait she tries to resemble a man; she is not at all interested in the attention of the stronger sex.

In this chapter we will talk about the relationship: posture - a person’s character, posture - a person’s mood. There is a fairly widespread opinion that upright posture is a sign of not only aristocracy, but also a sufficient degree of self-confidence, and vice versa, stooping is a sign of uncertainty, reaching the point of suspiciousness.

Good posture is developed over the years; it is not only a correctly formed skeleton in childhood, but a sign of your confidence in yourself, in your abilities, that you will achieve your goal. Slouching indicates that a person is constrained, complex, and unsure of himself; slouching, he tries to close himself off from the world - this is a defensive pose.

Good posture is not only a reflection of character, but also of a momentary mood, a fleeting emotional outburst. You've probably noticed that as soon as you tell a person good news, his shoulders immediately straighten, he straightens his back in order to appear before the world in all his glory. And we see a completely different picture if we tell a person unpleasant news: he immediately bends double, thus trying to hide from troubles.

If a person is used to standing and walking, slightly twisted, one shoulder lowered, the other raised, then this is a sign of inconstancy, perhaps he does not have clear principles, he is two-faced, prone to lies. He may be characterized by buffoonery, a desire to hide his true nature or emphasize his dissimilarity. Body asymmetry is evidence that your interlocutor is not a completely sincere person, he is used to lying. If a person sticks his chest forward, this can mean excessive narcissism, self-confidence and pride. The person seems to be flaunting his virtues. If the back half of the body is set back, and the upper half tends forward, this speaks of a person’s curiosity, of his desire to be the first to know everything.

Depending on the distance at which a person is comfortable communicating, he may have different intentions. If a person is used to communicating with you at a long distance, this means that he is not very comfortable in your company, but if he comes too close, perhaps he has bad intentions.

There are several areas of interaction between people. The far zone of interaction is a zone from 1 meter to 70 cm. The zone of close contact is 70–50 cm. Less than 50 cm of distance between people is intimate contact.

If a person feels quite comfortable at a far distance from you, is always no closer than 70 cm, and whenever you try to reduce this distance, he tries to distance himself or interrupt the conversation - he is not inclined to have a confidential conversation with you. Most likely he does not intend to enter into friendly relations with you. Perhaps he just doesn't like talking to you.

If a person takes a position from 70 to 50 cm from you, know that this is the most comfortable interaction zone. It allows interlocutors to perceive each other well without violating their personal zone. This suggests that your interlocutor knows the rules and norms of etiquette, in addition, he treats you well, he is quite comfortable with you. Although this person is not so inclined towards you as to invade your intimate space and allow you into his, he prefers to keep a safe distance, acceptable by the norm of decency.

If a person seeks to violate your personal zone, you should be wary - he may have bad intentions. Of course, if this person is your close friend or relative, then there is nothing reprehensible in his actions. We always greet people close to us by invading their personal space with a kiss or a hug.

But if a person doesn’t know you well and immediately tries to violate your personal zone, this is an alarming signal. He may want to use your trust to manipulate you. In such cases, you should act immediately. If you notice that a person you don’t know much is trying to reduce the distance between you by less than 50 cm during communication, you should do everything to prevent this. Leave without explaining the reasons or try to create some kind of barrier between you so that your intrusive interlocutor cannot get too close to you, for example, stand behind a fence, close the door, use the help of a third person, who can also become a symbolic barrier.

An important source of information about your interlocutor is another non-verbal signal - his position in space. This nonverbal signal indicates the interlocutor's intentions. The most common position for two people during a conversation is opposite each other. If your partner tries to change this position, tries to stand up or sit on the side, this may indicate that the person wants to establish closer contact with you, to become a closer person to you. But be careful if a person, changing position, tries to get away from your gaze. Your interlocutor may deliberately sit next to you so that you cannot control him or monitor his involuntary reactions.

There is another meaning to changing the position of your interlocutor. Let’s say that during a conversation tension arose, a conflict was brewing, in order to avoid its development, your interlocutor can deliberately sit next to you in order to remove the visible confrontation between the parties, which is expressed by the fact that you are, as it were, on opposite sides of the barricades - sitting or standing opposite each other. By sitting down next to you or standing next to you, a person seeks to reduce the conflict to nothing. This is also a signal that he is willing to compromise.

Laughter has many masks. A person laughs to relieve tension, to gain someone’s trust, to please someone, so as not to be scared. In order to understand such diversity, you need to know the characteristics of each type of laughter. Let's figure out what human laughter means.

Laughter, like a smile, can be bright, open or restrained, closed. Each type has its own distinctive features. When laughing openly, the teeth are exposed, sometimes unclenched. If your interlocutor laughs in your presence in the manner described above, you can congratulate yourself, you are a very charming interlocutor, your partner is very comfortable in your company. He is friendly towards you and has a trusting relationship.

If in your company a person laughs with a closed laugh, without opening his lips, tries to hold back the gusts of laughter, while the air flow is directed through the nose, the effect of nasal laughter occurs, which does not sound very pleasant, this is a sign that the person is uncomfortable in your company, he I’m not ready to open myself, to bare my emotions. Perhaps you haven't gotten to know each other enough yet. Or perhaps you simply do not have the talent to gain the trust of others.

If a person begins to hold back his laughter, he is not in the mood for contact with you. Perhaps this is a sign that your interlocutor is a closed person by nature, is not used to trusting others with his emotions, and does not want to show all his ins and outs.

If a person’s laughter resembles a giggle, this indicates that its owner is a secretive, possibly deceitful person; he will never tell you the whole truth, even if there is no need to lie.

If a person constantly laughs, regardless of whether he finds it funny or not, and tries to seem cheerful and cheeky, then perhaps laughter is a mask that helps him fight a bunch of complexes. Most likely, by nature such a person is modest and timid. Laughter is a kind of defense. If a person laughs or ironizes at everything, this is not necessarily a sign of a cheerful disposition, but only a desire to hide his shortcomings, anger, envy, and negative emotions.

If a person laughs with a deep, deep laugh (the laughter of cartoon villains), this is a sign of superiority. Perhaps the person does not have very good intentions. Such laughter can even frighten. But, most likely, your interlocutor wants to scare you with laughter, because he cannot do it any other way. He is not dangerous for you.

If a person laughs out of place, often when it is not funny at all, this is a sign that this is a very emotional person who is prone to nervousness. Perhaps your interlocutor is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, the cats are scratching at his soul, and in this way he is trying to relieve tension. With the owner of such a nervous, very sharp, similar to laughter, laughter you need to be careful; if you make a bad joke or say something not very pleasant, he may not be able to stand it and break down: an explosion of laughter may give way to hysteria.

The method of smoking is a kind of language, an alphabet by which an experienced coder can calculate the smoker’s mood, his thoughts, and the decision he has made. Each gesture of a smoker is individual, but there are universal ways to express oneself in the manner of smoking.

Based on the direction in which the smoker blows smoke, one can conclude about the decision he has made. If the stream of smoke is directed downwards, then your interlocutor has made a negative decision, he intends to refuse you. If the jet goes up, then its resolution will be positive. If the smoke is directed to the side, then most likely your interlocutor is still between two fires, he has not made a final decision.

By the way a person holds a cigarette, one can determine his mood and intentions. A smoker holds a cigarette with his hand clenched into a fist, which means he is in a bad mood, he is trying to hide his emotions from his interlocutor, does not intend to reveal his true thoughts, perhaps he is up to something. If the cigarette is between the extended middle and index fingers, this is a sign that your interlocutor is confident in himself, is in the mood for contact, and the conversation with him can be productive. If a woman holds a cigarette with her wrist facing the man, this can be a signal of flirting, thus making advances towards the man.

A very important characteristic of a smoker is how quickly he smokes. If he smokes very quickly, while sharply inhaling cigarette smoke, this indicates that he is used to leading a very active lifestyle, does everything on the run, is always in a hurry, in a hurry. He is always quick in action. If a person smokes slowly, this is a sign that he is used to living in a measured, unhurried rhythm. He always has a minute or two to stop before making a choice and think about it. This person is a thinker: he thinks and analyzes a lot. The person is emotionally balanced, perhaps related to a creative profession, where one of the important processes is the thinking process.

If a person smokes and closes his eyes, this indicates that the person is immersed in deep thought and concentrated on his thoughts. It's better not to pester him with questions.

If a person releases smoke in the form of a thin stream, then this may be a sign of his determination, perhaps temperament. He is used to making important decisions and knows what the burden of responsibility is. If a person exhales cigarette smoke smoothly, blows smoke rings, he is prone to melancholy, thoughtfulness, and by nature is soft and less decisive.

What does neatness in your interlocutor’s appearance indicate? This may be a sign that he wants to compare favorably with other people, or indicate his good attitude towards others, his desire to be appreciated.

In a way, appearance is a reflection of a person’s mood; by appearance one can also determine what a person is like and how he treats himself. If an older person prefers an informal, teenage style of clothing, this is evidence that he has not matured as a person. Perhaps this is a way of protecting yourself from the attacks of others, from their possible condemnation: “I’m still too young, so don’t judge me for my mistakes.” The desire to always remain a child, infantilism in clothing style indicates that a person is not ready to independently take responsibility for his actions.

If a person prefers to dress brightly and pretentiously, then this is evidence that he strives to be noticeable among the gray, monotonous mass of people, he wants his efforts to be appreciated. Perhaps he is striving to take a leadership position. Such clothing can also serve as protection from others, since behind it a person can hide his true self. This happens when a person’s personal data and character do not meet his expectations, he puts on a mask, hides his natural timidity and modesty behind bright clothes. Sometimes this technique works, and a person who was timid and unsure of himself turns into a mature and very strong person.

Sports style is the desire to look like a confident and successful person as easily and simply as possible. On the one hand, clothes give confidence, and on the other hand, they require a minimum of effort. Sportswear does not require special care; everyone can wear it easily and comfortably. But if the sporty style predominates in your wardrobe, a not very favorable impression may be formed about you; you will be perceived as a lazy person who wants to simplify everything to the limit.

Classic clothing style is the most comfortable and suitable option for all occasions. It will definitely fit in any situation and will not annoy anyone. You don’t want to appear better in advance than you are; you don’t make allowances for your own inadequacy by declaring with your appearance that you are not capable of doing difficult work. They will take you seriously, they will pay attention not to how you dress, but to your personal qualities. You will interest others as a person, and not as a mannequin wearing the latest haute couture.

If there is negligence in your clothes, it may be a tribute to fashion, an expression of your worldview, but first of all it is a sign of disrespect for others. If you do not pay enough attention to your appearance, then you are thereby trying to cross out all the foundations and rules that were invented before you. If, by dressing casually, you expect to conquer everyone with your extravagance, thus shocking those around you, then this is not always appropriate and correct in relation to others. Remember that shocking clothing is acceptable when you are already known, you are a celebrity about whom a certain opinion has already been formed. Show business figures are allowed everything. Shocking behavior is part of their duties, otherwise interest in them will disappear. If you do not belong to this category of people, then coming to a business meeting or party where few people know you, dressing against the established rules, is prohibited. You risk spending the entire evening alone, scaring all potential interlocutors.

Excessive pedantry is also not recommended. If you are dressed too correctly, wearing a formal suit with buttons buttoned to the top, this can also frighten others. This, by the way, indicates a lack of individuality. When choosing a classic style, try to bring your own vision to a classic suit: to highlight your personality, you can use a watch, glasses or other fashion accessories, high heels, then you will make an impression.

Very often we do not pay attention to the jewelry that a person wears, and by doing this we make a big mistake. The ability to choose the right jewelry for your outfit speaks not only about a sense of taste. Jewelry can tell a lot about its owner. The main thing is to be able to read the “tips” that a person is wearing.

A person, when choosing jewelry, expresses his individuality. If the choice of clothing, style, color may indicate not so much human preferences as following fashion, then the choice of jewelry is a very individual moment. A person always chooses what suits his character and personality.

It is known that everyone tends to wear jewelry with stones that suit them best. Each stone is unique in its properties and suits a person with a certain set of qualities. Here are just a few “stone-character” correspondences.

If you notice your interlocutor's passion for jewelry with pearls, then this may indicate that he strives for purity, femininity, and innocence. This is also a stone of knowledge; it is possible that your interlocutor is a “hidden” intellectual. You notice that your companion has a pendant with emerald, pay attention to it. This is a stone of fidelity. According to legend, it falls apart due to adultery. This person, under any circumstances, remains faithful to his traditions and foundations. It is believed that the stone helps only a person with a clear conscience, and prevents a deceitful and hypocritical person from realizing his plans. We noticed a brooch on the chest with ruby, this decoration cannot be a sign of virtue. Ruby brings strength to any person. Everyone who turns to him for help, as a rule, receives it. But you should be careful because if a person has bad intentions, it may mean that he will succeed. Aquamarine– the stone of lovers, if your interlocutor has jewelry with this stone, then most likely his heart is not free. It is a very good amulet diamond, if your partner has such a stone, then perhaps he is trying to protect himself from the attacks of others, fears that he may be offended. If a person prefers grenade, this indicates that he thinks about his health, this is a stone of health and well-being. Turquoise– a very active stone. It is believed that it is worn by very confident and victory-oriented people.

The abundance of jewelry indicates that your interlocutor wants to stand out, he has a strong personality or lack thereof and is trying to compensate for this gap with jewelry. If there are no jewelry at all, then this indicates that the person is devoid of individuality, does not know how to choose jewelry for himself, he is simply faceless.

You've probably noticed that each person chooses a scent according to his own taste. The choice of perfume is an exclusively individual choice that can tell a lot about a person. If you have a good sense of smell and are able to distinguish one smell from another, then you can use our advice and determine the nature of a person by his perfume.

There is an opinion that perfume is chosen in order to please others, to ennoble one’s own smell, but it is impossible to please everyone, so a person, when choosing perfume, is guided by his own taste. You can't wear a scent you don't like, even if most people prefer it. Therefore, the choice of scent is entirely your individual choice.

If a person prefers fresh, but muted, calm aromas (aloe, sea breeze, fresh fruits - lemons or apples), this means that he is an introvert, closed from others, and not ready for a trusting relationship with the first person he meets. Communicates with a stranger very warily and fearfully. Never opens right away. He is quite calm and unemotional. This choice indicates that the person is either melancholic or phlegmatic.

If a person loves a bright, sharp aroma, then this is a sign of high emotionality. A rich and bright aroma is chosen by people who want to be noticed; they try to express themselves in everything, including a very strong, sometimes repulsive smell. This choice is typical for choleric people - people prone to sudden emotional swings, but at the same time quite free to make contact.

If a person wears glasses, this can tell a lot about his nature. Choosing glasses and manipulating them are, as a rule, not random actions, but nonverbal signals that tell a lot about a person if you learn to decipher them.

If a person wears glasses with tinted lenses in the absence of wind or sun, then this may indicate the secrecy of his nature, his fear of others. He tries to hide his eyes because he feels uncomfortable talking to you.

Sometimes a person wears glasses instead of contact lenses in order to appear smarter and more respectable. If a person believes that his appearance is not suitable enough to achieve his goals, or he is not confident in his intellectual or leadership qualities, he uses other means to gain the respect of others, including putting on glasses, creating an image of himself as a respectable and successful person. .

Glasses are also a way to demonstrate your attitude to others, to what the conversation is about, and with the help of glasses you can find out the intentions of the interlocutor. If a person continually takes off his glasses and wipes the glasses, this is a sign that he is stalling for time. Perhaps he is trying to think over your proposal, to find arguments in order to convince you. If he took off his glasses and pointedly put them in a case or put them in a bag, then this indicates that he intends to leave in the near future, since he has already understood everything for himself and there is no point in continuing the conversation.

If a person has taken off his glasses and is gnawing on the scent of the glasses, this indicates that he is in a state of thought, pondering your proposal, perhaps at this moment he is not listening to you. If he plays with his glasses, constantly moving them from hand to hand, this is evidence that he feels awkward and is trying to find a topic for conversation. A person who is used to controlling others often uses glasses as a pointer and points at objects or simply waves them around. If a person draws all kinds of circles or other shapes with glasses, this is a signal that he is already pretty tired of you and it’s time to end the conversation.

If a person puts on glasses when meeting you, this is not a very tactful gesture, it can even be classified as bad gestures that express contempt and disrespect. In this way, the person lets you know that he is going to study you in detail, in detail. Such a gesture is permissible only if the owner of the glasses is very elderly. This is also a sign of distrust: “I don’t trust you, so I will watch you very carefully to catch you in deception.”

According to some psychologists, the choice of color is closely related to the basic character traits of a person. Indeed, colors reflect our inner world and affect our mood - they give energy and joy to life or, conversely, depress, irritate and cause depression.

Therefore, it is very important for our well-being what colors we surround ourselves with. Scientists and psychologists have created several theories on how color affects a person and how colors correspond to a certain type of person. And yet we are convinced that due to the uniqueness of each of us, it is always much more objective to trust our intuition. Nevertheless, let’s check how the scientific version matches your feelings.

If you notice your interlocutor's addiction to burgundy And dark red color, this suggests that in front of you is a person who is quite confident in himself, hidden passion and sexuality are hidden in him. If your interlocutor prefers red color, it means he is ambitious, and clearly demonstrates this to others. He states directly and openly that he aspires to become a leader. Of course, clothes cannot help him in this if he does not have leadership qualities. If your date is an ardent supporter of clothing orange color, then most likely he is a man of action: he strives for victory not with tricks and tricks, but is ready for real action in order to achieve success.

If your interlocutor prefers clothes yellow tones, then this is a sign of his intelligence. This also means that he leads an active lifestyle and has a very extraordinary personality. Supporters green colors are very cautious people, they belong to the category of contemplators and thinkers, but not people of action. If your partner's favorite color is blue, this is a sign of creativity and sensitivity. There is a gap between a person who prefers blue shades and reality; he lives in a world of fantasy. If darker shades blue– dark blue and violet, then this is a sign that your interlocutor is independent and has an extraordinary mind. For amateurs purple very developed intuition.

Black, gray and white fall out of the 7-color rainbow spectrum, but we'll also say a few words about the proponents of these colors. If black clothes appear in the wardrobe from time to time, this may mean that a person is trying to control himself, he has a strong opinion and an established position. If black is the predominant color, this may indicate a person’s desire to hide from others, his desire to get away from people, his lack of self-confidence. Gray color is the color of hyper-responsible and correct people. If your interlocutor prefers white, this is a sign that this is a person who strives for justice. If there is too much white, this is a sign of one’s own inferiority or a painful sense of superiority over others.

Conclusion

Humanity creates special synthetic languages ​​so that people of different nationalities can communicate with each other. In fact, you don’t need to invent anything, just turn to the nature of our body: with the help of sign language you can easily explain to a foreigner where Red Square is, simply by pointing in its direction, or ask a foreign-speaking person what time it is. Sign language is a universal way of communication.

We live in a world of coded signals, undeciphered signs and symbols that we send to each other in the hope that at least someone will understand us correctly. But, as a rule, this does not happen; people cannot understand each other, first of all, because they are too carried away with themselves, with their thoughts, and do not pay attention to others. There is another reason for misunderstanding and inability to establish contact: people have not yet learned to read the language of nonverbal signals. Reading non-verbal symbols is a whole science that you need to learn throughout your life. After all, gestures, facial expressions, and posture are individual for each person. In this book, we tried to talk about those signals that scientists were able to decipher, about those universal signs that we use to express our emotions, feelings, and thoughts. How much is left behind the scenes? Can't count. We could not, even if we wanted to, cover all the nuances and details of our nonverbal communication with you, not because we conducted poor-quality research, but because it is impossible to grasp the immensity. There are too many nonverbal cues to fit into one book. To do this, you need to compile an encyclopedia, a dictionary of non-verbal signals that will not be inferior to, and perhaps even surpass in number, the most complete versions of explanatory dictionaries.

But nevertheless, having studied this book, you have become the owner of valuable knowledge that will help you establish contact with others and help you understand what kind of person is in front of you. You will be able to read a person like an open book, learn to understand not only his words, but his secret, hidden thoughts.

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“The ability to pose reasonable questions is already an important and necessary sign of intelligence and insight,” said Immanuel Kant. The question-answer scheme helps us get acquainted with the world around us not only in childhood, but also in adulthood. True, many people do not like to talk about their achievements, dreams or weaknesses right away. But you can get these answers in a roundabout way.

website I have prepared 8 seemingly simple questions that will help you learn a lot about a new acquaintance without throwing a ton of salt at them.

1. What good books have you read lately?

People can be divided into 3 types: they read, they pretend to read, and they don’t read. With the first category, everything is clear, such a person will answer your question without hesitation, and from his answer you can understand the scope of his interests, because it was not for nothing that Joseph Brodsky said: “A person is what he reads.”

If a person avoids answering, referring, for example, to the fact that he reads a lot, but does not remember anything specific, most likely he is simply pretending to read. Such people depend on the opinions of others and therefore easily commit deception in order not to admit that they do not meet generally accepted standards.

But a person who directly said that he does not read can be reproached with anything, but not with low self-esteem and dependence on others. Perhaps such a person has special reasons for not reading, but the fact that he openly admitted this is a big plus.

2. If you could choose your superpower, which one would you choose and why?

The question seems childish and frivolous, but this is its charm. Without feeling a catch, the interlocutor will answer it directly, and you can understand what he is missing. For example, if your opponent has chosen the ability to be invisible in order to penetrate different places without obstacles, perhaps this is a curious person who lacks vivid impressions.

In addition, based on the answer to this question, we can draw some general conclusions about the scale of this person’s personality. Some people will choose the ability to stop any conflicts at a distance, while others will choose to always have a full refrigerator.

3. If you could travel and money was no object, where would you go and why?

In response to this, yours the opponent will show the depth of his knowledge. After all, one person will choose Turkey with an all-inclusive hotel, because you can lie there and not think about anything for 7 days, and another will choose the island of Key West, because there are six-toed cats and the house in which Ernest Hemingway wrote “The Snows of Kilimanjaro” " And the third will even declare that he will fly to Mars, because Elon Musk cannot do without his help.

4. What or who do you associate yourself with?

Often a person does not have any specific idea about himself, so psychologists use associative techniques to find out key personality traits. Try it too, and to make it easier for your opponent, ask him to answer the following question:

• If you are furniture, what kind?

For example, based on the answer “table” (the most common answer received by the author of this article in a short survey, the most unusual is a rocking chair), we can say that the person is stable in his behavior: he will not dye his hair pink tomorrow and will not quit his job. work to go around the world. If the opponent added an “oak” table, wealth and weight in society play a significant role for him. The answer “wardrobe” (or other tall object) will indicate that the person has a little high self-esteem.

There is no need to supplement or explain the question; the interlocutor must answer as he understands it. To get a more complete picture, ask not one, but several questions, for example, about the season, animal, flower, movie genre, food.

5. What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Your interlocutor’s chain of reasoning when answering this question will show the flexibility of his thinking, readiness to solve non-standard problems, attitude towards others. Pay attention to what his main goal will be: hide, help others, go fight, resolve the conflict peacefully.

6. Name 3 qualities that annoy you most in people?

According to psychologists, qualities that infuriate us in others exist in ourselves, but we carefully hide them or are even afraid. What irritates us is not the behavior of another person, but the fact that we are forced to hide our similar qualities, while he openly shows them.

“I told you I was sick.”

This question was first asked by the famous psychologist Eric Berne in his book “People Who Play Games.” According to the answer you can draw conclusions about the main priorities in the life of your interlocutor. The reaction to this question is also indicative. As a rule, people who know what they want from life answer quickly and without arguing. Those who do not have a clear idea of ​​themselves or their future refuse.

By the way, before asking strangers about the epitaph, it would be useful to ask this question to yourself. Finding the answer will help you realize one important thing: the outcome is the same and inevitable for everyone, and if you want the inscription on the tombstone to be original, then you need to act now.

Before asking others, you should ask yourself not only the last question, but also the remaining questions. For example, what are the 3 qualities that piss you off in people? Have your say in the comments.