Well, just judge - why did a person go crazy? If only he would remain faithful to the serene theory that he is in his right, and everything is in his right, that if a new collegiate one is produced before him, then this is how it should be, and that if Klara Olsufievna rejected him, then again this means - that he shouldn’t have interfered with her - in a word, he had continued to go his own way, without affecting anyone, and remember that everything in the world is lawfully distributed according to abilities, and abilities are given by nature, etc. - so he would have continued a person can live in the same contentment and tranquility. But no: something arose from the bottom of the soul and expressed itself in the darkest protest of which the slow-witted Mr. Golyadkin was capable—madness... I won’t say that Mr. Dostoevsky developed the idea of this madness particularly skillfully; but it must be admitted that its theme is the splitting of a weak, spineless and uneducated person between the timid directness of action and the platonic desire for intrigue, a splitting under the weight of which the poor man’s mind finally breaks down - this theme, for good execution, requires a very strong talent. With good processing, Mr. Golyadkin could emerge not as an exceptional, strange creature, but as a type, many of whose traits would be found in many of us. Remember your meetings with government officials; remember those who call themselves non-questioning, calm people who love to live in truth. Remember how they love to talk about their lack of seeking and how sometimes the direction of the conversation suddenly changes abruptly at the mention of one of their colleagues, bosses or acquaintances who achieves more than others. Here it goes now: “it’s good to live for someone whose grandmother tells fortunes,” and “you can’t live forever with the truth,” and complaints about one’s own inability to commit meanness, and an ironic, seemingly derogatory enumeration of one’s own merits: “What, they say, we - what We don’t straighten our backs for six hours, but we’re all keeping busy with our affairs - such is the importance... But - go to His Excellency’s ball, and grab a polka there, and in the mornings, instead of doing business, go shopping - his wife fulfills commissions - this is the thing, with this you will get honor... And we - what? Water-carrying horses, jugular oxen - they are only suitable for menial work..." etc. And then the conversation certainly takes this turn: that "we, they say, could be mean, and we could feint"... and they will tell you as proof you have several cases where, for sure, it was convenient for a person to be mean, but he did not want to... In all such gentlemen, the tendency of Mr. Golyadkina to the insane asylum; just give them more dreaminess and melancholy - and the transition will not be far away...
Mr. Golyadkin, however, is a completely crazy person; let's leave him. But there is also a face from Mr. Dostoevsky, also a madman, but rather just a monomaniac - Mr. Prokharchin. This man also realized, probably even at the beginning of his career, that “one in this world is destined to ride in carriages, another to splash through the mud in thin boots,” and, classifying himself as one of the last category, he hired himself a corner and lives without thinking. torture your fate. But there is no lasting peace in his soul; He has a timid character, like all downtrodden people, and although he firmly believes in the inviolability of his philosophy, he sees all sorts of accidents in the world: illnesses, fires, sudden dismissals from service at the request of his superiors... The poor man begins to be haunted by the thought of fragility, of insecurity his position. The idea is, of course, very natural. The natural result is the decision to save and save money, just in case. But the execution is already wild, although it is also understandable in the city of Prokharchin: he hides the specie in his mattress... And what should he really do with it? Put it in a chest and they will drag it away; entrust someone - you cannot trust anyone; to put it in a pawnshop - for mercy's sake, this means directly declaring oneself a rich man, some kind of Croesus. “He has money in the pawnshop” - do you know how this phrase sounds among petty officials, and even more so among the inhabitants of the corners!.. So Mr. Prokharchin hides the money in a mattress, and hides it for 10 years, and 15, and 20 , maybe more, and even he himself, it seems, cannot properly calculate how much he has hidden there, and he is afraid of disturbing the mattress - he is afraid of prying eyes... He lives quite calmly, that is, he shuns everyone, is shy of everything and is glad that he is not touch. Suddenly new tenants move in with him - good people, but “mockers.” Noticing Prokharchin’s timidity and the constant thought of insecurity, let them invent rumors among themselves - either about staff reductions, or about exams for old officials, or about His Excellency’s desire to fire all officials with an unpresentable figure, or in general about difficult times... And what would did you think? After all, poor Prokharchin is completely confused: he doesn’t walk around like himself, there’s no face on him, he’s just waiting to be kicked out of the service, and then what will happen to him? Although the supply has been made, it will now have to be depleted, but there is nowhere to replenish it... Prokharchin’s excitement was expressed, as usual, by the way, by the fact that, having met some closed-minded drunkard, he went overboard and was brought home insensible and sick . As soon as he woke up, he began to rave and yearn for the fact that you live and live, and then you go with your purse; you need it today, you need it tomorrow, and then you don’t need it, and go about the world... They begin to convince him that he has nothing to be afraid of: he is a good person, humble, etc.... He replies: “Yes, he is free, I am free; and how you lie, you lie, and even that...” - “What?” - “An and a freethinker”... Everyone is horrified and indignant at the mere thought that Prokharchin could be a freethinker; but he objects: “Wait, I’m not that... Just understand, you sheep: I’m quiet, today I’m quiet, tomorrow I’m quiet, and then I’m not quiet, I’m rude; buckle for you, and a freethinker has gone!..” In a word, Mr. Prokharchin became a true freethinker: he stopped believing not only in the strength of his place, but even in the strength of his own humility. It’s as if he wants to challenge someone to a fight: “What, they say, am I going to grovel forever? After all, I might be rude, I can be rude... But what will happen then?..” But this Mr. Prokharchin went wild before his death: that same night, unable to control his emotions, he died, arousing general regret in the residents. And after his death, they found in his mattress, in various packages, a silver coin worth 2,497 rubles with half a banknote - which is why the residents, and especially the landlady, were already indignant...
Instructions
You shouldn’t dwell on your failures and program yourself in advance for a negative result. Don’t think that you won’t succeed, that you can’t or won’t cope. On the contrary, set yourself up only for success, make every effort to achieve what you want, try and take risks. A person's self-esteem depends most of all on his attitude towards himself. Love and value yourself, then those around you will also look at you with respect.
Very often, a downtrodden person does a lot of extra, unnecessary work simply because he cannot refuse others. Learn to say no. If the request seems inappropriate to you, refuse it. There's nothing complicated about it. Just say, "Sorry, but I won't do it." Value your time and others will stop using you for their own purposes.
Work on your appearance. If you like yourself, then overcoming tension will become much easier. Play sports, keep yourself in good shape. Regular physical activity helps to distract from unnecessary thoughts and significantly corrects your figure. Your external attractiveness will also contribute to internal emancipation.
Try to communicate with the team, don’t stay on the sidelines, join in the conversation. Try to find common ground. Expand your horizons - it is easier for an information-savvy person to find common topics for conversation, and business connections can significantly help your career at the right time. It is important to remember that there are the same people around you, with their problems and joys, shortcomings and complexes. If others can overcome their weaknesses, then you can too.
Watch confident people. Pay attention to their calm and firm speech, look at the poses they take during a conversation with the interlocutor, note their facial expressions. These observations will be useful for you; try to copy the winning behavior pattern of a confident person. Practice in front of a mirror.
If all your efforts to overcome complexes do not help, and you still cannot overcome them, seek help from a professional psychologist. A competent specialist will find an approach to solving your problem. Don’t let your inner weaknesses prevent you from unlocking your potential and achieving success.
Sources:
- how to stop being a drag
A change of environment and a new type of activity will help you stop focusing on a problem. Make drastic changes in your life and you simply won’t have time to dwell. Checked!
Instructions
The changes must be truly dramatic. For example, get a new job or take one handbag and go on a trip. If this seems like an impossible plan for change in your life, then your new role will help you get a shake-up in your usual way of everyday life. Get a job as a toastmaster in a restaurant for one evening. Remember that the mood of the assembled guests will depend on your manner of conduct. Here the focus will be on something else - on involving all the guests in common games, round dances, and chants. Or take private lessons from a magician, or delve into learning foreign languages. In a word, try to captivate yourself so that there is simply no time left to dwell on the problem.
You may be advised to stay alone in a quiet place, for example, on the seashore, ocean, and think about your life and the problem that you are fixated on. This advice will be useful for you if you have a couple of thousand conventional units in your pocket for a trip to the sea, and you can deal with yourself without the risk of falling into a deep, protracted
Here I stand before you, a simple Russian woman, beaten by her husband,
scared of her butts, shot at by enemies, tenacious...
Film "Member of the Government", Vera Maretskaya as Alexandra Sokolova
Downtroddenness as a personality quality is a tendency to eke out a miserable existence, to look exhausted, intimidated, unhappy, driven to stupor.
A Chukchi walks along the platform along the train and hits each car with his head. They ask him: “Why are you damaging the carriages?” - Yes, I have a ticket for a soft carriage - so I’m looking for it...
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Russian, a Chukchi and a Jew were served coffee with a dead fly. Englishman: threw out coffee. Frenchman: threw away the fly, drank coffee. Russian: drank coffee with a fly. Chukchi: ate a fly because he didn’t know what coffee was. Jew: drank two coffees because he traded his fly for Chukchi coffee.
When driving a nail, try to ensure that its head does not protrude from the wood. From a downtrodden person, like from a hammered nail, one can see only one being, twisted by the circumstances of life. A tired, hunted creature trudges through life. It is afraid and afraid of everything. It’s not for nothing that the words “scared” and “driven” are associated with him. Like a beaten, dirty dog, it runs away from the challenges of life with its tail between its legs. In interpersonal communication, it hides its eyes from people, mutters something under its breath, twitches, becomes cowardly, constantly fingers something in its hands, blushes and turns pale, and cannot put two words together.
Downtroddenness is a sad example of a downtrodden mind. Congestion is a bunch of complexes driven deep inside. Self-doubt, indecisiveness, complexes and complete ignorance are the hallmarks of this personality trait. A downtrodden person cannot say his word, defend his point of view.
Often, downtroddenness grows in an environment of disrespectful communication, when one side shows arrogance, neglect and psychological violence. Without respect in a relationship, a child becomes downtrodden. He quickly gets used to endless reproaches, exorbitant demands, shouting and insults from parents and teachers. But the result of addiction is a disease of the mind - congestion.
The pride and disrespect of some people makes others exhausted and downtrodden. Pride is always aggressive. It is pride that makes us harm other living beings, making them downtrodden, humiliated and insulted. Blinded by self-conceit, a proud person sometimes does not realize how he can hurt others with his words or actions. Downtroddenness often becomes a consequence of the excesses of pride.
Downtroddenness is a hidden form of a superiority complex. People can put on different social masks, act, trying to hide their real face. Psychologist S.B. Timchenko writes: “Behind any superiority complex lies the fact that these people are very unhappy, that they are complex, that they are downtrodden, and cannot fully express themselves. This is nothing more than arrogance, as we often see. There are two extremes: pride manifests itself either in being downtrodden, complex, or in arrogance. Very often we can see people who are very arrogant. And many people think, looking at them: “but these are liberated people!” There are many different practices that tell us about this. What " If you want to be happy, be it!" Have you heard these catchphrases? " Act out of spite, be a free person. Do whatever you want and don’t deny yourself anything!“It would seem... And we can see that this may even help these people in some way at the initial stages. But there are the exact opposite extremes, that these people turn from downtrodden to arrogant. Because they push this deepest inferiority complex deep into their subconscious and do not remove this problem. Because they don’t solve deep-seated problems, because they don’t fully know who they are and how to act correctly in this world.”
The algorithm for the origin of downtroddenness in the family is curious. If the husband is a wuss and a henpecked man, if he is full of determination, the woman becomes domineering, very independent and aggressive in her behavior. Therefore, the daughter becomes downtrodden and the son wayward.
Women's nature is characterized by a remarkable personality quality - the ability to forgive. By forgiving a man, a woman teaches him to forgive himself and others. Without a woman, a man will not get the energy of forgiveness anywhere. When a woman does not know how to forgive, a man becomes merciless. Any desire to forgive anyone atrophies. As a result, the wife becomes downtrodden or antagonistic. The daughter becomes nervous, and the son becomes embittered.
In a society where women prefer a career to family, where masculine personality traits predominate in them, men become pitiful and downtrodden. They become dependent on their wives. They become effeminate or masculine - depending on who likes which formulation more. They learn about masculinity and femininity from hearsay. When a person realizes something other than his own nature, he cannot be happy. A woman reveals her best personality traits in the process of raising children, in building relationships with her husband and relatives. On your own field, the walls also help. If she occupies someone else's field, all the circumstances of life will line up in bristling redoubts in front of her. Being in the family, she could endow a man with the energy of caring, tenderness, softness, sensitivity and sensitivity. Having focused her attention on work and career, a woman begins to display masculine personality traits: anger, dictatorship, despotism. Under the murderous hail of such influence, a man gradually turns into the personification of turbulence, depression and downtroddenness.
How to deal with congestion? Maybe you should listen to the advice of Alexander Blok?
When you're driven and downtrodden
People, care or melancholy;
When under the gravestone
Everything that captivated you is sleeping;
When through the urban desert,
Desperate and sick
You're coming home
And frost weighs down my eyelashes, -
Then - stop for a moment
Listen to the silence of the night:
You will perceive another life by hearing,
Which during the day you did not comprehend;
You'll look at it in a new way
The distance of snowy streets, the smoke of a fire,
Night quietly waiting for the morning
Over the white, tangled garden,
And the sky is a book between books;
You will find your soul empty
Again the image of the mother is bowed,
And in this incomparable moment -
Patterns on lantern glass,
Frost that freezes the blood
Your cold love -
Everything will flare up in a grateful heart,
You will bless everything then,
Realizing that life is immeasurably more,
How quantum satis* Brand of will,
And the world is beautiful, as always.
*To the full extent ( lat.) is the slogan of Brand, the hero of Henrik Ibsen’s drama of the same name.
Peter Kovalev
Have you ever thought about how to morally kill a person? I think everyone thought about it. Starting from an early age, when a person encounters the social environment, he begins to experience pressure. Peers test each other's strength, gradually transferring similar behavior into adulthood. Someone is leaving these childhood pranks in the past. But there are people who like to humiliate others. How to repel them and forever discourage them from training on you?
How to morally kill a person while maintaining dignity
Let's say an insolent person publicly speaks out, is insulting, sarcastic, makes inappropriate jokes, and mocks in every possible way. The friendly laughter of his friends and those around him can throw anyone off balance. But... this situation can easily be turned against the offender. What does he expect from you? In Russian speaking, bummer. To show their superiority, such people assert themselves at the expense of others. This is a kind of duel: whose spirit is stronger? Now I will list a number of tips on how to morally kill a person in such a situation:
- Keep your cool. A calm, ironic attitude towards attacks sobers up the offender and intrigues observers.
- To offensive questions like “Well, how is it... so and so?” you can simply say: I don’t know, you know this better..
- All nasty things can be turned against the attacker, calmly ironizing his words without dirt or insults. Don't stoop to your opponent's level.
- Observers will quickly lose interest in the incident or even laugh at clumsy attempts to humiliate you.
- Seeing your spiritual superiority and inner strength, the mocker will quickly retreat in search of a weaker victim.
There are situations when we experience treacherous betrayal. Most immediately think about revenge, mentally savoring the details, imagining what they will do in response. But it is much more possible to kill a person morally while maintaining dignity and spiritual nobility. Believe me, squabbles, plans for revenge, and various nasty things in response humiliate you, making you petty. Later it will be unpleasant for you, maybe even ashamed.
It is much wiser to act wisely and carefully. Refute the slander. Make hidden intrigues public. Turn the offender's baseness against himself. The worst thing is public condemnation. However, think a hundred times when punishing others this way: maybe people deserve a second chance?
The best way to kill a person morally is to show him his baseness so that he clearly understands it. Pangs of conscience, mental humiliation, condemnation of others will force you to seriously think about your own behavior. Maybe even get better. I wish everyone to be worthy, wise, strong people, capable of repelling any insolent person!
