Why is there no problem of female loneliness in Europe? What to do if you are lonely? Psychology of loneliness in women

Everyone knows the story: she is beautiful, smart, but no man. And what to do about it is completely unclear. Expert Astro7 decided to look into the problem.

The story of female loneliness

Psychological origins of loneliness

How to remain a woman?

This women's practice helps improve and harmonize one of the three most important areas in the life of each of us. Improve your relationships, improve your well-being and simply become a successful person with the help of this practice.

“Listen, why are you still not married?” - A colleague from a neighboring department stared at me questioningly. I muttered something incomprehensible in response and hurried back to my workplace. Naturally, such questions (and also at work) were unpleasant for me. But this time I seriously thought: “Really, why?” I started analyzing previous relationships, reading books and finally realized...

“The reasons for my loneliness are in my head!” This was several years ago. I’ll be honest: it was not easy to admit and realize this almost obvious fact. It’s even more difficult to rewrite your own attitudes, change your way of thinking and start behaving differently. Just the realization that if you do nothing, then nothing will change: I will meet old age alone, without having lived my story of love and happiness, made me move from a dead point and start changing myself.

We cannot influence the world around us, other people or circumstances. The only thing we can change is ourselves, our beliefs and thoughts.

I confess: the topic of searching for the reasons for female loneliness fascinated me then so much that I am still studying it. I hope that the results of my observations will help other girls finally end loneliness and find happiness.

Obviously, in every woman’s life there are periods when she is alone: ​​without a man and outside of a relationship. This is normal, and sometimes it is simply necessary in order to accumulate energy and begin a new stage in life with renewed vigor. The desire to be alone is absolutely natural, because every person needs personal space and time only for themselves. The whole point is whether this loneliness is desired or forced - this determines the attitude towards it. Either we enjoy freedom, or we suffer from loneliness - these are two different approaches to the same situation.

Depending on the perception, loneliness turns either into an advantage or into a problem and seems like a karmic punishment.

When loneliness turns into a problem, brings discomfort to the point of loss of joy or meaning in life, then it’s time to solve the problem. Treat this without unnecessary emotions - as a work task that needs to be solved. How? Understand the situation: analyze the initial data, understand the reasons for the current situation and eliminate them.

Let's look at the most common reasons for female loneliness. In fact, there are a great many of them - it can be behavior, beliefs, self-doubt, communication manners, appearance, lifestyle, character, etc. In subsequent articles we will gradually consider all the causes and factors of female loneliness, this time we will focus specifically on internal causes of female loneliness. After all, they are the most important and determine our behavior, mood, emotions, attract certain people or repel them. Internal reasons are those attitudes and beliefs that can prevent a woman from getting into a relationship, preventing her from meeting a worthy man and finding happiness in her personal life.

It is the internal causes of loneliness that are the most important, because the world around us is a mirror of our inner state.

Most of the problems in our lives are just a continuation of our beliefs, attitudes, expectations and fears. Have you noticed: what you fear most is what you get, what you think about most is what comes true, what you consider and imagine yourself to be is what you gradually become?

So, let's try to figure out what internal attitudes and beliefs lead to loneliness:

1. Confidence in one's own loneliness. The beliefs “I am lonely, no one understands or loves me, no one needs me” - this is the most important reason for loneliness. Confidence in your own loneliness gives rise to appropriate behavior, way of thinking and living. When you consider yourself lonely, you convince yourself of your loneliness, revel in it and suffer. When a woman considers herself lonely, then on a subconscious level she pushes away possible suitors or friends, withdraws into herself, becomes offended by life - and the circle closes. Better ask yourself questions - why is this happening? Who do you love? Are you able to understand and support another?
2. Avoiding the problem as such. Some girls simply avoid this topic due to its extreme pain; They pretend that everything is fine and there is no problem at all. It’s not bad when a woman is temporarily alone, but when she comes to terms with this state of affairs, accepts loneliness as a given and a normal situation, and becomes confined to this way of life. No, girls, living your life alone is not normal! You should not be content with life alone - you are worthy of happiness and love, attention and courtship. Sometimes recognizing the existence of a problem is half the solution. If only because it forces you to set a vector and begin at least some movement towards correcting the situation.
3. Inflated expectations from relationships and love. All little girls dream of meeting a prince, having a wedding and certainly living happily ever after. These dreams are natural and even archetypal for the female half. They have been growing since those times when education and careers were closed to women, and the only life scenario was marriage, giving birth and raising children. Nowadays, princesses have many opportunities and options on how to make their lives bright and eventful, regardless of their meeting with the prince. (And by the way, if life is boring and empty, it cannot be filled even with relationships). The most unpleasant consequence of overestimating the role of love and relationships is that it prevents you from living fully and enjoying life here and now.
4. Excessive idealization of the future chosen one – sometimes it is necessary to descend from heaven to mere mortal men. Many girls come up with some ideal image of a man, become fixated on certain specific features and desperately search for them, but do not find them and reject non-ideal options. This is a serious problem from the category of “expectations and reality” - the first almost never turns into the second. I in no way encourage you to make deals with your conscience or heart - but sometimes it’s worth taking a closer look at the men around you and giving a chance to those who show interest in you.
   
5. Belief " There are no more worthy free men left!” Whatever statistics and demography tell us, I insist that for every woman who is confident, interesting and pleasant in every sense, there is a worthy man! You won’t believe it, but many successful men complain and are indignant that they have no one to marry! Yes, and this is also an attitude that prevents them from seeing beautiful free women around them!
6. Excessive focus on one's internal problems . It often happens that we are so busy with our internal issues that there is simply no time or resources left for relationships with other people. Obviously, if our gaze is directed inward, then we are simply not able to notice other people, treat them with interest, try to get to know them or establish long-term relationships. After all, our energy is spent on solving internal problems (either self-knowledge and self-improvement, or internal struggle and conflicts) - and loneliness in this case is a completely natural phenomenon. If you want to change this situation, try to understand not only yourself, but also others: start paying attention to other people, ask them questions, communicate, be interested.

1. Low self-esteem ,self-doubt. Often girls consider themselves not enough: attractive, interesting, beautiful, successful, slim (your option). And they start “tuning” their appearance - but the paradox is that cosmetic repairs will not solve the real problem. You need to value yourself, love yourself unconditionally - despite the volume of your breasts and the girth of your hips, the fullness of your lips and the presence of wrinkles. After all, the problem is not in appearance - but in the perception of oneself. An attractive woman is one who is in love with herself, with her strengths and even shortcomings. A lack of a sense of self-worth may come from childhood itself, may arise after a difficult traumatic relationship or for other reasons, but this can and should be corrected. Lack of self-confidence can lead to the fact that a girl subconsciously believes that she is not worthy of the man she is looking for - and avoids relationships in principle. In fact, those who are less beautiful, less successful, or thinner get married and become happy. As we established above, this is not the problem.
2. Dramatization of life and negative attitude, Pessimism and apathy interfere with a normal life, in principle, and even more so with building relationships. The tendency to dramatize gives rise to the fear of being left alone, which in turn slows down and fetters a woman even if an interesting man appears nearby. Often girls internally cannot allow themselves to be happy, to live easily and joyfully. Some people simply don’t believe they deserve happiness or believe that nothing good awaits them in life. This attitude simply poisons life and, of course, pushes other people away from you. All these attitudes need to be deliberately rewritten, look for your own recipe for happiness, do things that bring pleasure and joy, form your employment, trust the Universe and its wisdom, believe in the possibility of love and happiness just for you.
3. The belief “love” can/should be earned. How does it manifest itself? As soon as a potential groom appears on the horizon, the woman begins to do everything for him that he wishes, guess his desires and fulfill them. And it seems that there is nothing wrong with this, but for some reason the men run away very quickly. Why? Yes, because they have not yet had time to want anything (let alone achieve it and make their efforts) - and they have already been given everything. They gave what they didn’t ask for, and then they were offended by it. Conclusion: you don’t need to try to deserve someone’s attention or love, it’s better to be yourself, love yourself unconditionally, and devote your free time and effort to yourself and your self-development.
4. To many girls It's hard to open up and trust men . Especially after difficult breaks, divorces, betrayals. Many women, who in their youth experienced trauma associated with men, become so withdrawn into themselves that they cannot get out of their experiences and remain alone for the rest of their lives. They get offended, close themselves off from the outside world, and even more so from new acquaintances or relationships. But this is not our option, is it? The main thing to remember here is that no matter how painful it is, there is a man in the world who can heal all your mental wounds. And it will be extremely unfair to deprive him of the chance to do this - after all, he is not to blame for your previous negative experience.
5. A separate point worth highlighting beliefs in one’s bad luck, “ancestral curse, damage, evil eye” etc. This is a form of escapism - avoiding real problems, instead of solving which people look for mystical justifications for their failures. And since there are a huge number of “traditional healers”, “foretellers” and “magicians” who want to help, and they so insistently impose their services, many begin to believe them and follow the lead of the “wizards”. Desperate single women sometimes want to know the reason for their loneliness so much that they are ready to believe anyone, give up their last money and easily entrust their destinies into the hands of strangers, often unscrupulous and dishonest people. It should be remembered: in fact, only we ourselves can help ourselves, because no one knows our problems and desires better than us.
6. There are few or no positive examples of relationships . Yes, of course, the institution of marriage is now undergoing a crisis, and it is easy to become despondent against the backdrop of general divorce statistics. Many girls grew up in single-parent families and perceived this pattern of family relationships as the norm. But you should not focus on others; each person has his own values, motivation, aspirations and ways of solving problems. If you really want to build a happy relationship and start a family, this is exactly what will happen. And there are exceptions to the rules, and there are errors in statistics. After all, only we ourselves decide what kind of relationship we want to build and what we are ready to do for this.
7. Not accepting yourself as a woman. This is part of a larger phenomenon - the crisis of gender identity in modern society. Although many consider this not a problem, but an achievement of feminism. I won’t start a discussion on this yet, but it is obvious that in the modern world the boundaries of masculine and feminine are becoming increasingly blurred. Women received rights and opportunities on an equal basis with men - but they also lost something (I hope not completely). Namely, your femininity. Women want to know everything, keep everything under control, achieve goals, climb the career ladder - as a result: more and more women are dominated by masculine behavior.
   

   Women are becoming more and more masculine, and men are becoming more and more feminine.

If you have discovered internal settings, the next question arises: What to do? How to rewrite your own beliefs? I will definitely devote a separate large article to this topic! In the meantime, you can start by doing this exercise. Divide the sheet into two columns: in the first, write your negative attitudes that create loneliness, and in the other, try to refute them. For example, opposite “I am lonely” write “I am Not lonely. I am active, sociable and open. I have people who love me (relatives), are ready to listen and support me (friends), respect and listen to my opinion (colleagues).” When once again, in a fit of emotion, this or that thought comes to you, you will simply remember these refutations and understand that it is not true. You can also add a third column - what can I do to change this situation? This will be aerobatics, especially if you put the advice into practice.

As for me, after careful self-analysis, I saw the thoughts and realized the beliefs that were preventing me from improving my personal life. And indeed, I had inflated demands: I idealized both the future chosen one and our upcoming meeting, as well as the relationship itself and its role in my life. Moreover, I was so immersed in my internal experiences about this that I did not notice anything or anyone around me, much less I could not let go of the situation and simply enjoy life. And, of course, my attitude towards men was affected by bad experiences, and also by ideas learned at an early age. And finally, I stopped wailing “I’m lonely and no one needs me!” and periodically throw tantrums about this. As soon as I reconsidered my views and rewrote my internal attitudes, external changes were not long in coming and the problem of loneliness was resolved as if “by itself.”

If everything written above is not about you, please accept my congratulations! Your loneliness is a temporary phenomenon, which the Universe is already in a hurry to correct and selects a wonderful man for you. If at some points you recognize yourself, this means that you still need to take time for yourself to study your qualities, understand your true desires, mature to the point of later easily and joyfully opening up to another person, and create the relationship you dream of. And sometimes you just need to relax, let go and enjoy life.

Are you familiar with the issues raised? Did you have any questions or thoughts after reading the article? Have you had any experience of recognizing internal limitations and overcoming them? Or maybe you have your own recipe for how to let love and happiness into your life? I would be very interested to hear your opinion - write in the comments! :)

We will definitely consider the issues raised in this article in subsequent articles. Subscribe to the newsletter so you don't miss anything.

Despite the fact that female loneliness can cause a lot of gossip, an increasing number of women are in no hurry to find a breadwinner and protector in a man. And the point is not only that many modern ladies are capable of “killing a mammoth” on their own; the main reasons lie in the confusion of gender roles and changes in society.

Psychology of a lonely woman

For many centuries, the loneliness of a woman was considered proof of a certain “defect” of the lady; old maids, for example, were always under a hail of ridicule. Nowadays, an unmarried woman is not surprising. Psychologists believe that the desire for loneliness is a signal indicating the presence of reasons preventing a woman from starting a family. Over time, some of these reasons cease to have an impact, and the lady stops avoiding men. Sometimes a woman gets so used to being alone that she cannot get rid of loneliness.

Psychological origins of female loneliness:

• inflated or - “I am a beauty, only a prince is worthy of me”, “I am ugly, no one needs me”;
• education in the spirit of feminization - “I must be strong, I can do everything myself, I don’t need a man”;
• obsession with motherhood - “The child must have the best father”, “The child is the most important person for a woman.”

Reasons for female loneliness

To understand why there are so many single women, you should study the causes of loneliness. Among the more common ones, psychologists name the following:

1. Self-sufficiency- This is the most common reason for being lonely. Such a woman has no need to prove anything to others - she is respected for her success and independence.
2. Excessive demands on a man– a factor that eliminates all candidates and often leads to female loneliness.
3. Negative experience– often women strive for loneliness and are afraid of new relationships due to the fact that they suffered in the past due to the fault of men. Sometimes a girl observes bad experiences in her parents’ family.
4. Unfree lover– another factor that causes female loneliness. In this case, the woman in love simply does not consider other candidates.
5. Unpreparedness and unwillingness to start a family– such women strive to get a lot of pleasure from life; responsibility for the family does not attract them much, just like bachelor men.

Pros and cons of being a woman alone

A single, independent woman sees a lot of advantages in her position: she feels successful, free, beautiful, and admired. Behind this attractive picture may be hidden despair, a feeling of self-worth. And even ladies who are quite happy in their solitude can sometimes feel a lack of warmth and closeness of a loved one.

Pros of being a woman alone

The answer to the question of why women choose to be single is given by sociologists. In their opinion, it is now much easier for women to live alone than in a family. In this case, the lady has much fewer responsibilities and worries; she has time to take care of her appearance and take care of her health, engage in self-improvement, travel and have fun. Some of these factors indicate a woman's immaturity. Very often, a lady who does not want to start a family consciously chooses partners with whom marriage is impossible, for example, married ones.

Why is loneliness dangerous for a woman?

A woman gets used to loneliness and ceases to need any relationships - this is the main danger of this situation. In addition, having gotten used to independence, a lady may lose her communication skills with the opposite sex. In this case, even if she wants to lose her independence, the woman will not be able to build relationships or create a strong family.

Difficulties for a single woman may arise:

• if there is a breakdown that requires a man’s hands, then she will have to call “her husband for an hour” or ask a colleague or relative for a favor;
• in the company of married couples - if all the friends of a single lady have started families, she will be invited less and less to spend time together;
• with a high need for sex, it is difficult to count on sex with a temporary partner, and even more so at the moment when you really want it, and not when there is an opportunity.

How to live as a single woman?

The question of what to do for a single woman can only arise from a person lacking imagination. She does not need to report to anyone; loneliness in this case equals freedom. Of course, without significant financial resources, many entertainments will be unavailable to a lady. However, female loneliness offers many prospects for:

• study;
• creating your own business;
• tourist trips;
• playing sports;
• communication with friends;
• hobbies;
• creativity;
• building a career.

Successful women are often single, but if this factor is coupled with determination and commitment, such ladies always know what they want from life. Energy that could be directed to a man or children is, in this case, spent on something else. Among talented and highly intelligent people, there are a lot of lonely people who have found happiness in their personal lives. Women who chose solitude:

1. Sophie Germain – mathematician, mechanic, philosopher, proved the “First Case” of Fermat’s Theorem.
2. Sofya Kovalevskaya is a mathematician, writer, and worked as a professor in the mathematics department at Stockholm University.
3. Barbara McClintock – geneticist, discovered the movement of genes, Nobel laureate.
4. Camille Claudel is a sculptor and student of Auguste Rodin.
5. Grace Murray Hopper is a mathematician and programmer, thanks to her the first programming language COBOL was created.

How can a woman get rid of loneliness?

A lady living a free life for many years may one day realize that she lacks a caring and loving person, a feeling of need, peace and security, which is only possible next to a reliable and understanding partner. Then the moment may come when the question arises - how to deal with loneliness as a woman. To get rid of loneliness, you need:

• find out the reasons for loneliness - a psychologist or friend can help with this;
• change your attitude towards yourself - stop focusing on imaginary and real advantages and disadvantages, simply love yourself;
• take a close look at the men around you - perhaps there is a man very close by who will put an end to women’s loneliness.

Female loneliness - the Orthodox view

Female loneliness in Orthodoxy is condemned or evokes sympathy. Orthodox priests are of the opinion that a woman cannot and should be alone, and she can only realize her destiny - to become a wife and mother - next to a reliable person. It is not without reason that it has long been accepted that an Orthodox priest must be married - the church highly extols the value of family.

Single female celebrities

There is a widespread stereotype that fame and wealth are happiness, but talent and popularity are often chosen as companions for loneliness. And even with a mass of admirers and husbands, these great single women often felt unhappy and useless:

Many famous beautiful actresses still prefer solitude:

Films about female loneliness

Films about single women that will be of interest to a wide range of viewers:

1. Red Desert / Il Deserto Rosso(1964). The film tells the story of the spiritual torment of the main character, Juliana, who, although married, feels lonely.
2. Three colors: Blue / Trois Couleurs: Bleu(1993). After the death of her relatives, the emotionally devastated heroine remains in deep solitude. But music brings her back to life.
3. The Hours(2002). The lives of three heroines from different eras are connected by one book - Virginia Woolf's novel Mrs. Dalloway.
4. Malena / Malena(2000). A film about a woman whose beauty became a real curse.

The pleasure of being free and longing - balancing between these two poles, a single woman finds many excuses not to live in a couple. But what is really behind her arguments?

It's no secret that in modern society theme of loneliness aggravated almost to the limit. In a sense, loneliness is the hallmark of our time. And if 30, 40, 50 and more years ago, men were more likely to be supporters of the choice in favor of loneliness (hence the jokes about how important and at the same time difficult it is to “drag” a man down the aisle), today women have picked up the baton.

It just so happens that in the 21st century the female half of humanity is not particularly eager to enter into relationships. Today we can safely say that a psychology of single women, which has its reasons.

Navigation for the article “Psychology of single women or why do they choose loneliness?”:

There are many reasons to remain alone:

• increased level of financial and social freedoms;
• widely and rapidly growing interests, be it social networks, all kinds of hobbies and interests;
• active social activities - from participation in sports marathons to charity;
• desire for professional and creative self-realization.

All this does not particularly contribute to the desire to create a couple and maintain the existing union. Women “pop out” of relationships like a cork from a bottle, often becoming the initiators of the breakup themselves.

What’s interesting is that this trend goes in parallel with the increase over the past 10 years in the number of all kinds of trainings for women, trainings on relationships, trainings aimed at increasing sensuality and sexuality. Today, any teenager knows that there are a lot of educational programs like this!

But, despite the abundance of trainings, the fact remains that the number of pairs created is not increasing. Moreover: women are ready to remain single and, if necessary, defend their choice and this position. This is how it works " psychology of single women", which originates both in the present and the past of a woman.

Can we say that a modern girl is afraid of relationships? If so, what does he want to protect himself from by remaining single? Or, on the contrary, what does one strive for that cannot be achieved by being in a couple?

A modern woman has quite a lot of reasons not to be in a relationship, and they are connected with both positive and negative aspects of life.

Here are just a few of them:

• Convenience. Living alone is convenient. There is no need to report to anyone about the time spent, about the books read and films watched, about the money earned and spent. Nobody tells you what to do. No one cares how much a woman eats, sleeps or how she lives. Which can be a pretty compelling argument in favor of loneliness.
• Possibilities. Single life hides many opportunities. For example, the opportunity to meet “the one,” “the prince,” “your man,” which is open as long as the woman is free. Or opportunities related to profession, creativity, travel and much more. Remaining free and independent, a woman (like a man, of course) is open to many opportunities to make one or another choice.
• Habitual way of life. A woman gets used to being alone. Especially if she was able to arrange her life, if she is more or less secure and she does not need to survive on her last money, if this system of life includes concern for her health, appearance, and leisure. In this case, the woman develops the habit of living her own life, separate from the man, which is not at all easy for her to give up. This is how the “psychology of single women” is launched - women who are so comfortable in this independently arranged space and way of life that they will think 10 times before opening themselves to relationships.
• Reluctance to waste energy and time on relationships. The life of a free modern woman requires attention, energy, mental and physical strength. Give them to a man? She may simply not want to do this. Not considered necessary. I don't understand why she needs this. Finally, not having the resources to let a man into your life. A woman may say she is open to a relationship, but still cannot find time to even date. Which will mean only one thing - she is not ready to waste energy and time on another, albeit potentially close, person. And this does not mean at all that the girl is afraid of relationships. She just doesn't want them.
• Fears. Underneath this point lies a whole range of concerns. The psychology of single women is quite often formed on fears. Fear of possible emotional pain associated with the risk of opening up but not receiving reciprocity. Fear of the unknown: if relationships are perceived as like a minefield through which you walk blindfolded, then naturally the desire to be in them melts like snow in the bright sun. Fear of men as such, which has its roots in childhood and in a difficult relationship with his father. The fear of being unsuccessful in a relationship, grown on self-doubt and one’s feminine attractiveness. There are countless fears associated with relationships, and each of them influences a woman’s choice, literally urging her to “vote” against the relationship.
• Negative past experiences. If a woman has had a negative experience in a personal relationship, she is less likely to want to repeat it in the future. And she will (intentionally or unconsciously) close herself off from being with a man. In this case, we can safely say that the girl is afraid of relationships. That’s why we don’t strive to create them.

• Reluctance to develop. Relationships at their core are systems. A system of elements (partners) and connections between them. And any system, even the simplest one, requires development and novelty in order to function more or less successfully. In the context of relationships, development refers to the willingness to leave one’s own comfort zone, the ability to change and change one’s attitudes, to transform from “I” to “we.” This is not always easy and pleasant to do, especially if there is no experience or great desire. Often a woman is simply not ready for this. This causes a sharply negative reaction, the result of which can be an obvious or hidden, but no less strong desire to get out of the relationship and return to a “quiet, lonely life.”

The list of reasons that lead women to the “valley of loneliness” is much more voluminous than one might imagine. It may take more than one month to describe them. What is important is that these reasons are not always negatively colored. There are those, analyzing which it is clear: it is more expedient and better to remain alone than to strive for a relationship only in order to avoid the status of a “free” woman.

And yet, relationships, both for women and men, are a space within which there is an opportunity to open up in all its fullness. Relationships potentially contain a resource for the development of an individual and a couple as a whole. And all that is necessary is to unpack this resource, carefully consider it and allow yourself and others to use it.

What contributes to this? First of all, the study of individual reasons that prevent the desire to be with someone else. It is possible to do this on your own, but you have a much better chance of effectively working on the topic of forced or conscious loneliness in contact with a psychologist.

In conclusion, we can say the following with confidence: the intention to be single does not come suddenly and out of nowhere. There is always an explanation for it, and finding it is one of the real opportunities to get out of the “lone wolf” image and build a close, trusting relationship with a man, if you still feel such a desire inside.

Or, perhaps, on the contrary, accept that at least now, in this period of life, you want to be alone, and stop judging yourself for not having a relationship, comparing yourself to some conventional norm.

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Female loneliness is a common problem that is becoming more pronounced and acute every year. Human consciousness is changing, relationships between people are changing, gender roles in everyday life and society are changing. But only one thing does not change - the desire for happiness. To achieve the desired state, it is worth understanding the causes of loneliness and methods of combating them.

The essence of the problem

Before we begin to consider the issue, we should determine the range of problems that female loneliness entails. Here are the main ones:

• Lack of feelings and romance. Warm words, gentle hugs and just a feeling of being needed are extremely important for a woman.
• Lack of intimacy. This causes bad mood and irritability, and can sometimes cause health problems.
• Lack of male strength. When you need to move a closet or fix something in the house, you have to turn to a neighbor for help or use the services of the “Husband for an Hour” service.
• Communication problems. As a rule, unmarried women are afraid of friends who have already started a family. Therefore, the former are rarely invited to noisy and cheerful companies.
• Social pressure. People treat a free woman with sympathy and disapproval. Feeling such pressure on yourself every day and listening to moral teachings is very difficult.

Objective reasons

The reasons for female loneliness can be divided into objective and subjective. The first exist independently of a specific person and, as a rule, are beyond his control. Here's what we're talking about:

• Lack of men. In our country there are about 10 million more women than men. Naturally, in such conditions, not every representative of the fair sex manages to find a mate.
• Addictions. According to official data alone, 30 million men in the country suffer from various types of addictions (alcohol, drugs, and so on). Naturally, a woman will deliberately prefer loneliness to marriage with such a person.
• Rapid wear and tear. Men work much less to maintain their health, appearance and vitality than the fair sex. As a rule, female loneliness at 40 years of age and older is associated precisely with the fact that a blooming woman cannot find a man who would be attractive in appearance, physically strong and spiritually interesting.
• Stereotypes. There is a belief in society that a woman cannot and should not be active in meeting men. And even if a representative of the fair sex overcomes this stereotype, it is not a fact that this will be objectively perceived by a man.
• Urbanization. The frantic rhythm of a big city sometimes simply does not leave time and opportunity for representatives of the opposite sexes to become interested and open up to each other. In addition, a woman in a metropolis meets hundreds of men every day, among whom it is very difficult to recognize the one.

Subjective reasons

Subjective reasons for female loneliness are those that are directly related to the worldview, choice and behavior of the fair sex. Here's what we're talking about:

• Passivity. Many women do not show any activity in arranging their personal lives, relying solely on fate. Moreover, they do not visit places where potential suitors gather, living exclusively in the “home-work-home” mode.
• Obsessiveness. Some women's fear of loneliness is so great that they simply cannot control it. Without noticing it themselves, they behave intrusively and even aggressively, which certainly scares off men.
• Low self-esteem. Lack of self-love provokes fear and discomfort. This can make her withdrawn or, on the contrary, too intrusive, which is equally bad.
• Inflated self-esteem. If a woman highly values ​​her personal merits, this gives rise to inflated demands and a picky attitude towards men. And even if she finds a gentleman to her liking, it is not a fact that he will withstand the pressure from her.
• Aggression towards the opposite sex. Women classified as aggressors are extremely prejudiced against men and are dissatisfied with everything they do. Naturally, this does not contribute to building harmonious relationships.
• Inability to present yourself. Oddly enough, an impressive proportion of ladies suffering from loneliness simply do not have the skills of coquetry, proper behavior, choosing clothes, applying makeup and other things that make a woman a woman.
• Underestimation of the sexual factor. For the relationship side, the intimate side is much more important. But romance and intimate conversations cannot replace a full sex life, which is so important for both parties. Trying to delay as much as possible the moment the relationship transitions to a horizontal plane, women often “give way” to men to more accommodating ladies.
• Inability to choose men. Guided by low self-esteem, fear of loneliness, social reproach and other factors, women enter into relationships with the first gentleman they come across, without thinking about the future. But after a short time, the futility of the union becomes clear, which almost always leads to separation.

What else do psychologists say?

The complex psychology of female loneliness forces experts to talk about a number of reasons for this phenomenon. This is what psychologists focus on:

Failures in previous relationships. If a woman has previously dealt with a traitor, a domestic tyrant, an alcoholic or another negative character, she will project this negative experience onto the next relationship. It is possible that fear or rejection of the male sex may arise.

Life priorities. Not all women put family first. Modern ladies increasingly give preference to a career and strive to realize themselves in a variety of fields of activity. As a rule, such women are very busy and believe that relationships will become a burden for them, inhibiting personal development.

The need for independence. Some women are very sensitive to any kind of restrictions and obligations. Considering that most men are looking for calm, flexible and economic life partners, freedom-loving ladies are often left alone.

Mother's negative experience. If a woman grew up seeing the sad experience of her mother or other relative’s marriage, she will definitely try this scenario on herself. This causes fear of relationships.

• The influence of the father's image. Two scenarios are possible. Either he is idealized, and no man can match him. Or, he is negative, and the woman is afraid that her life partner will be the same.

Consumer attitude. Some women start relationships with men not for love, but for reasons of benefit: career, material wealth, popularity, etc. As soon as the gentleman ceases to be useful, the alliance collapses.

• Neurosis. Mental problems lead to conflicts with oneself and others. Internal blocks and contradictions prevent a woman from living a full life and building relationships with the opposite sex.

Reasons for female loneliness according to zodiac signs

The constellation under whose auspices a person was born has a significant influence on his fate and character. In particular, you can determine the reasons for female loneliness by zodiac signs. The explanation is given in the table below.

Problematic types

Female loneliness is most characteristic of several problematic types. Namely:

"Woman-man." She is straightforward, domineering and even somewhat rude. She can do everything herself and does not need outside help. She looks at strong men as competitors. Representatives of the opposite sex respect such ladies, but are afraid to start relationships with them.

"Victim Woman" She is always tired and sad, with all her appearance she shows the need for help and attention. Given the protective instinct, men often pay attention to such women. But few people can withstand such manipulations on an ongoing basis.

"Woman-mother". She strives to surround everyone with care, and especially her man. She is also domineering and seeks to control her companion. This is precisely the problem on the path to strong harmonious relationships.

"Teenage Woman" She is cheerful, extravagant, educated, beautiful, which certainly attracts men. But she is terribly unsure of herself and does not know how to be serious, which can gradually cause a breakup.

Women's loneliness: how to get out of it

Loneliness is a difficult problem. This is not something that can be resolved through introspection alone. This requires some active action and fundamental changes. But it is internal resources that are the first thing needed to overcome female loneliness. How to get out of it? Follow these instructions:

• Admit there is a problem. Stop pretending that everything is fine, accept that something is going wrong in your life.
• Sincerely wish to solve the problem. You must want change, namely, to let someone into your life.
• Allow yourself to be happy. What was the reason for your loneliness until now? Remove these blocks from your consciousness.
• Open up to the world. Stop hiding from others and being afraid of them. Feel free to communicate, make new acquaintances among both men and women.
• Take action. Create situations in your life that will help you meet the man of your dreams. Visit sports clubs, exhibitions, seminars, restaurants, celebrations or go on vacation.
• Be patient. It is impossible to cope with female loneliness in one or two days. If today you have not met an interesting gentleman, do not despair, because tomorrow will be a new day and new discoveries.

If the problem of female loneliness has become unbearable for you, take active action. Practical tips will help you with this:

• Transform your appearance. Hair, makeup, figure, wardrobe - all this should give you a feeling of your own beauty and impeccability. Being confident in yourself will make you interesting to men.
• Transform yourself internally. If you feel mental discomfort, if there are more questions in your head than answers, go to a psychologist. After several sessions with a good specialist, you will look at the world differently.
• Decide what you want. Describe in detail how you want your man to be, what you want from life with him. But you shouldn't have your head in the clouds. be realistic.
• Analyze your social circle. Perhaps there are available men in your immediate circle who meet your requirements. Seeing each other more often and communicating with them more is a matter of technique.
• Go on a "hunt". If you dream of a man with a strong, athletic build, it is logical to look for him in a fitness club. If you dream of a wealthy gentleman, visit expensive restaurants. And so on.

Religious view

When a person is burdened by something, he often turns to religion for an answer. This also applies to female loneliness. In Orthodoxy, this phenomenon is perceived negatively. On the one hand, this evokes sympathy. Since, if we turn to the Old Testament, Eve, being created from the rib of Adam, was never alone. Thus, at an early age, a woman has a need to take care of someone, to be close to someone.

Also, women’s loneliness (if we are talking about a conscious choice) is often spoken of with condemnation. It is believed that a woman should not be lonely, otherwise she will not be able to fulfill her main purpose - to become a wife and mother. The Church values ​​family so highly that marriage is mandatory for a priest.

Prayer for loneliness

If you dream of finding happiness, prayer against female loneliness will help you gain self-confidence and give you hope. Say it every day, morning and evening.

Lord God, Heavenly Father, show your great mercy, give me strength to throw off the burden of loneliness from my soul, free my heart from unclean influences, from dark spells, from any evil that lies in my fate. Through my life I come into contact with the Lord’s Light, I am cleansed by its Fire, it removes all obstacles, it illuminates my life. I feel the hand of the Lord God on my heart, my soul comes into contact with His great power, I find in it the basis for grace-filled changes. Amen. Amen. Amen

Are there any advantages to being alone?

As a rule, female loneliness is perceived exclusively in a negative light. But is everything really that bad? Some women consciously choose this life. And even if your loneliness is temporary, you should enjoy it and not spend time suffering. Here are the advantages you can find in female solitude:

• A free woman is freed from family troubles. Thus, she has enough time to pursue her hobbies, learn something new, and spend time with friends.
• Single women often look better and more well-groomed than married women. Again, they have more time to themselves. In addition, when you are in a state of search, you want to look even more attractive.
• Women's entertainment alone is more varied than in marriage. A free lady can spend as much time as she wants shopping and visiting nightclubs.
• A free woman can afford a fleeting adventure with the man she likes.
• A free woman knows how to independently solve problems and cover her own needs. At the same time, she can safely accept help from men.