There are different teachers - good and bad, kind and evil, loved and unloved. Why does this happen? After all, if we proceed from the functions and tasks, teachers should be the same, and, nevertheless, there are teachers to whom children go to class with pleasure, anticipating joint communication and interesting work, and there are those whom students are simply afraid of and then the lesson of this teaching becomes almost hard labor for them.

There is one good teacher in this world - Anatoly Bernstein, who lives in Moscow and is currently writing books on pedagogy. He no longer works at the school, but all his former students go to his house, invite him to visit, or simply call him on the phone, not forgetting about him for a minute. And today two of our Rostov teachers - Sorokina Tatyana Borisovna And Makhankova Nadezhda Pavlovna decided to “talk” with Anatoly Bernstein, discuss the issues raised by him in his book “Stay After Class,” and thus help the reader understand what a real teacher should be.

Bernstein:“Who said that teachers are harmless relays of knowledge and, in the worst case, carriers of enlightenment germs? Sometimes even the least proactive of them have to play a much more responsible role - fate.
There is nothing exceptional about this. A teacher objectively has a greater chance of influencing an “underdeveloped” person, as they said about children in the Renaissance. It stands in his way, like a mandatory marker, an intermediate finish, a milestone in the middle of the road that is not easy to get around.”

Makhankova:“Yes, I agree, teachers sometimes influence the development of character and determination of the future fate of their student, but this only happens if the teacher and student have a trusting relationship from the very beginning, when the teacher is an authority and example in everything.”

Sorokina:“And I think that they influence the child in any case, even if there is no trusting relationship. All the same, some phrases, thoughts, comments are deposited in the child’s memory.”

- Are there insoluble contradictions between teacher and student?

Bernstein:“In essence, there are no insoluble contradictions between teacher and student. Education is not an idyll, but certainly not a war for independence. It is both mutual learning and the experience of human relations.”

Makhankova: " No, in my opinion, irresolvable contradictions may arise between a student and a teacher, but in this case, most often the teacher himself will be to blame for his lack of restraint, tactlessness, and narrow-mindedness. The teacher must always remember to carefully treat a small, unformed person, and carefully consider his every action, then there will be much fewer insoluble contradictions. But sometimes it also happens that a teacher can have little influence on the course of a developing conflict, since the cause is the neglected upbringing of a child who grew up in a dysfunctional family; in this case, the teacher must at least smooth out the conflict that has arisen through no fault of his.”

Sorokina:"There are contradictions, but they are always resolved. I recently had a very unpleasant and seemingly insoluble incident. The mother of one girl decided that I was infringing on the child, discouraging interest in knowledge, that the child was supposedly very smart, and I was always I lower the grade. This contradiction was resolved - another teacher was assigned to the class. As a result, the children who loved the previous teacher suffered.”

- When a teacher scolds a student, who is more worried?

Bernstein:“Teachers still worry more often and more deeply, but students are generally very unpleasant. But these, of course, are completely private observations, purely from personal experience.”

Makhankova:“It all depends on the situation. If a conscientious teacher breaks down due to external unfavorable circumstances, then he is very worried. If the teacher’s unfair attitude towards the student is the norm in the practice of such a teacher, then the teacher never worries. The student’s experiences depend on his personal qualities: if the child sensitive, then he worries very much, and if the student is mentally callous, then he doesn’t worry either.”

Sorokina:“Well, depending on what you’re scolding for, if it’s for what’s needed, then you don’t worry, but if you’re not sure, when you’re scolding, then naturally you worry.”

- Who needs whom more? Teacher to student or student to teacher?

Makhankova:“Yes, there is mutual need here. A real teacher, for whom working at school is not a service, but a way of life, needs his students, to communicate with them, just as they need to communicate with their teacher.”

Sorokina:“I agree too. The teacher needs the student as much as he needs him.”

- What distance should you choose with the student: close or far?

Bernstein: It is important to understand here that the process of determining the optimal distance between two objects is controlled from 2 command centers, but not always in concert. Children regulate the process wonderfully, but sometimes unpredictably for us."

Makhankova:“The distance between the student and the teacher must be strictly adjusted to the millimeter; you cannot fall too much in love with your students, bring them so close to you that some parents experience a feeling of jealousy, such a situation only interferes with the pedagogical process. On the other hand, you cannot push the child away from you, if you see that he needs your care, attention, and sometimes love."

Sorokina:“I choose to keep a close distance with all the students, but sometimes a child decides that everything is allowed to him and goes beyond the boundaries, then he needs to be distanced.”

- Who needs all this more: you or them?

Bernstein:“For us! For them! For the whole meaning of our life is in its complete surrender to them.”

Makhankova:“In my opinion, in the end, of course, it’s for them, because our main function is to provide knowledge.”

Sorokina:“And I think it’s the same for them and for us. Yes, our main function is to give knowledge, and they receive the same knowledge, i.e. equally. Mutual exchange.”

- How do you establish discipline in the classroom?

Bernstein:"Firstly, treat your business as the work of your life; secondly, give it all 24 hours a day and devote it to your children; thirdly, truly respect yourself and them; fourthly, be prepared to endure and fight as long as it takes. And then you will succeed in whatever you want.”

Makhankova:“I prefer to establish discipline in the classroom through my personal charm or authority. You need a set of personal qualities that are given by nature and through self-education. It is difficult to maintain discipline in the classroom using a strong-willed method, not supported by the above factors.”

Sorokina:“This is a very difficult question, because for me it all happens on an intuitive level. First I get interested in the topic, and then I load it with work.”

- Is there any limit, a culmination of teaching?

Bernstein:“The teaching business is not in danger of being closed. It always lasts as long as the pedagogical life, and even the physical life of the teacher.”

Makhankova:“I agree, it doesn’t exist, although I may still be at the time that I have not yet reached this highest peak in my professional activity.”

Sorokina:“Probably, it’s different for everyone - some have found their limit and are already indifferent, but for others, including me, it’s been a creative search all my life.”

- A teacher is, first of all, who: a teacher or a person?

Bernstein:“A teacher is first and foremost a person, and the relationship that is established with a student is human.”

Makhankova:“Of course, a person. Pedagogy is a certain field of activity that does not have the right to allow even 1% of defects, since we work with people, not with machines.”

Sorokina:“Well, naturally - a person, and any teacher should have human qualities predominate.”

- What kind of relationship should there be between teacher and student?

Bernstein: “We offer ourselves as an object for adoration, imitation and obedience, but they simply love us. They may ask for advice, or maybe money, more often than not, shelter, warmth. Easy relationships are our best achievement. Not a conquest, not an end in itself, but a sought-after result".

Makhankova: “Echoing modern trends in psychological science, I adhere to the principle of the subject - subjective relationships with students, when the teacher does not forget that before him is not just an object of his pedagogical influence, but a reverent person who must be respected as oneself and valued.”

Sorokina:"There must be cooperation between teacher and student. They are friends, but the teacher must still command respect by appearing authoritative in the eyes of the student."

Bernstein:“It is necessary, because by the way the teacher is physically relaxed with the students, not afraid of inadvertently offending someone, how easily he pats, pushes, takes hands, straightens clothes and how they react to this - you can say a lot about the degree of human trust , openness and spiritual closeness between them. This is not given to everyone, because the right to such a touch must be earned.”

Makhankova:“I am for the science of touch, this is especially necessary in middle school age (grades 5-7), when the child still needs care, guardianship, he still has the need for affectionate stroking, patting, a friendly handshake, and if the relationship between teacher and student is developing trustful, then touching will be relevant right up to high school age.”

Sorokina:“Bodily contact is necessary - to calm someone down, to make someone work, to inspire confidence in someone.”

- Do teachers have a moral responsibility for students later in life?

Bernstein:“Do not take on other people’s karma - do not do their work for them, do not solve their problems for them, do not try to become their destiny. The best thing is to let them know your opinion, position, assessment.”

Makhankova:“To a small extent, yes, because they were instilled with something from childhood.”

Sorokina:“In general, yes, because what they raised is what they received. And teachers raise together with their parents.”

- What kind of students do teachers like?

Bernstein:“It’s a paradox, but teachers don’t like happy students. Most likely, because in the subconscious: if they are happy, it means they are free, independent of us. And we so want to be needed”...

Makhankova:“People love more often those who have a need for love.”

Sorokina:“And I love capable people, those who want to learn something, those who think, seek, and want to gain knowledge.”

- And finally, who is a “teacher” anyway?

Bernstein:“A teacher is a humble employee in a responsible position: opening the door to the world of knowledge or the world of people, or helping to look into his own. And not demanding gratitude for this. And worthy of much more when he truly deserves it.”

Makhankova:"A teacher is, first of all, a good professional."

“...Teaching work is one of the greatest callings in life... But a teacher must be devoted to his work to the highest degree, completely surrender to it, teach with all his mind and with all his heart, with his whole being; and with such devotion, much is possible.”
J. Krishnamurti.

"Think about it."
_________________________
© Skrynnikova Alena

Vasilyeva V.N.

Teacher and student: problems of mutual understanding and interaction

The two main figures in school are the teacher and the student. Their communication in class, in extracurricular activities, and at leisure becomes an important condition for the effectiveness of the educational process, a means of shaping the student’s personality. Based on the axiom that the relationship between a student and a teacher is the foundation of all social formations created by people over the years, we can come to the conclusion that a student and a teacher are not connected by other aspects of life other than learning, so they do not know too much about each other. Their union brings only psychological satisfaction and excludes close contact. Meetings between teacher and student are usually limited in time and last for a certain period.

However, relationships with teachers occupy a very important place in children's lives, and children are very worried if they do not work out. In this situation, the teacher, as the more experienced one, has the task of creating and maintaining goodwill and mutual understanding. The basis of the relationship between teacher and student is their joint work, as well as success in achieving the goal. The learning process depends on the relationship between the student and the teacher.

It all starts with the teacher, with his ability to organize pedagogically appropriate relationships with students as the basis of creative communication. A teacher is one who shares knowledge, wisdom and experience, and the student adopts them. Additional education is based on the principle of freedom of choice, and if the parameters of the “teacher-student” interaction are not adequate to the needs of both subjects, then there is no need to talk about the quality of education, because the very fact of interaction will not be real. There is also the opposite problem: you can build a very comfortable relationship with a student, but their constructiveness in terms of solving educational and developmental problems will be minimal. Thus, it is necessary to find an answer to the question: how to build a relationship with a student so that interaction with him allows for maximum results in the field of education and personal development, and at the same time remains promising for further constructive communication. The answer to this question may be a “teacher-student” interaction model, the purpose of which is to optimize the educational process.

Teachers are not always aware of their leading role in organizing contacts. The main thing in communication between teachers and students should be relationships based on respect and exactingness. The teacher needs to pay attention to the promptness of the beginning of contact, the formation of the basis of democratization - the feeling of “we”, the introduction of personal aspects in interaction with children, demonstration of one’s own disposition towards the class, showing the goals of the activity, conveying to students the teacher’s understanding of their internal state, organizing integral contact with the class, changing stereotypical negative attitudes towards individual students.

A teacher with a stable, emotionally positive attitude towards children, a business-like reaction to shortcomings in academic work and behavior, and a calm and even tone of address, has schoolchildren who are relaxed, sociable, and trusting. The correct style of communication creates an atmosphere of emotional well-being, which largely determines the effectiveness of educational work. The correctly found style of pedagogical communication, corresponding to the unique individuality of the teacher, contributes to the solution of many problems.

An important point in learning in general is that every student can be convinced of the importance of not only acquiring solid knowledge, but also developing mental abilities. The student is not alone at school. He works together with others: students and teachers. They turn to each other for help, without being afraid to admit that they don’t understand something.

The most important aspects of cooperation:
- ability to listen to each other;
- make joint decisions;
- trust each other;
- feel responsible for the work of the group.

Pedagogical tact and sensitive attitude towards students certainly play a decisive role in the success of a teacher’s work. This is a very important aspect of a teacher’s skill. And the relationship between teacher and student largely depends on it. But pedagogical tact does not completely solve the problem of relationships.

Foreign researchers in their studies also indicated that children tend to prefer teachers who have the following characteristics:
1. Human qualities - kindness, cheerfulness, responsibility, balance.
2. Organizational qualities - fairness, consistency, honesty, respect for others.
3. Business qualities - usefulness, democracy, ability to interest.
4. Appearance – well dressed, pleasant voice, general attractiveness.

In high school, popular teachers were those who knew how to present educational material visually, vividly, and problematically.

I would like to note that in the “teacher-student” relationship, in addition to highlighting certain personal or professional qualities of the teacher, it is also assumed to take into account the student’s expectations, which are partially expressed in specific requirements for the teacher’s behavior. It is important to study them in terms of age, i.e. find out what students of different ages want and expect from teachers, and how these expectations change from one class to another.

The teacher's inability to meet the student's expectations and inattention to these expectations can give rise to a negative attitude towards the teacher himself, towards his subject, and lead to acute conflicts.

Conflicts are phenomena of extremely diverse nature.
They can be intrapersonal, a clash of two incompatible
desires, opposite tendencies, when the main ones are not satisfied
needs of the individual, the values ​​of the “I” are damaged.

Usually in schools conflicts occur between teacher and student
adolescence. It is important here that the teacher must clearly understand the main causes of conflict relationships and know real ways to prevent them.

Specific causes of teacher-student conflicts
1. Insufficient professionalism of the teacher as a subject teacher and teacher, manifested in the nervous relationship between the teacher and children:
in demonstrating their superiority, their special status;
in serious errors of interaction, such as discrimination against individual students, open or disguised violation of pedagogical ethics due to the struggle for leadership;
in pedagogically unprofessional actions of teachers: commanding tone, screaming of the teacher, which often provokes gross violations of discipline by students;
in the teacher’s biased attitude towards students, manifested in the systematic underestimation of grades and the selection of “favorites”;
in the unauthorized establishment by the teacher of the number and forms of testing students’ knowledge, not provided for by the program and sharply exceeding the standard educational load of children;
inability to organize students’ cognitive interest in their subject;
in “labeling”, for example, an underachieving student;
in focusing the attention of others on the psychological problems and shortcomings of the student;
in assessing an action based on the subjective perception of the student’s personality;
inability to organize classes with all students.
2. Violation of school requirements by students: lack of preparation at home
assignments; intentional violation of discipline; skipping classes without a good reason.
3. Manifestation of personal conflicts of both the student and the teacher.

How do students want to see their teacher?
1. Moral quality (fair, respects human dignity, trusts).
2. Love for your subject.

3. A high-quality, good class teacher, wants to make the children’s lives exciting, interesting, does not like to command, gives good advice.

Negative qualities of teachers:
1. Shouts, interrupts, does not listen to the end.
2. Highlights individual students.
3. Picky, tries to punish for every wrongdoing.
4. Requires unconditional submission from the student.
5. Treated like little ones.
6. Disrespectful.
7. Can't keep a secret.

How to prevent conflicts and how to ensure that teachers and students are on good terms:
1. Skillfully carry out the organizational aspect of the lesson, not leaving a single student inactive.
2. Create an atmosphere of continuous communication with the class.
3. Demanding on yourself and students regarding complete readiness for the lesson.
4. Excellent knowledge of the subject, fluency in it. Application of different methods and forms of training.
5. Fulfillment and desire to achieve the set goal: to achieve complete mastery of the material by all students without exception.
6. Rational use of time, cherishes every minute of the lesson.
7. Achieve complete assimilation of the material.
8. Organization of individual work, especially with those who find the subject difficult. During the lesson, ask them more, tease and bother them more.
9. Organize work with “difficult” children, constantly ask, force them to think, find more interesting ways of teaching.
10. Respectful attitude towards the student’s personality, avoid all kinds of insults, nicknames, and comments.

It is possible to indicate at least three most significant features of the type of educational interaction.

Firstly, each student is involved in solving productive problems not at the end, but at the beginning of the process of mastering new subject content, on the basis of specially organized active interaction and cooperation with the teacher and other students.

Secondly, situations of interaction and cooperation, being a specific means of solving productive problems and a condition for students to master methods of cognitive activity and interpersonal relationships, undergo changes in the process of communication, thereby ensuring the formation of mechanisms of self-regulation of the behavior and personality of the student.

Thirdly, in the process of jointly solving productive problems, students master, first of all, the mechanism of meaning formation and goal formation, which ensures a more productive and motivated mastery of operational and technical means of performing new activities.

And no matter what innovations are introduced, at school, as hundreds and thousands of years ago, participants in the educational process meet: teacher and student. Between him (always) there is an ocean of knowledge and reefs of contradictions. And that's okay. Any ocean contradicts, hinders, but those who overcome it endow with constantly changing landscapes, the vastness of the horizon, the secretive life of its depths, the long-awaited and unexpectedly growing shore. And the teacher will always be the captain on this voyage, the chief navigator of the navigation through the reefs.

The process of training and education, like any development, is impossible without contradictions and conflicts. Confrontation with children, whose living conditions today cannot be called favorable, is a common occurrence. According to M. Rybakova, conflicts between teacher and student can be classified as follows:

actions related to academic performance, performance outside of academic tasks;

the behavior (actions) of the teacher as a reaction to the student’s violation of the rules of conduct at school and outside of it;

relationships that arise in the sphere of emotional and personal relations between students and teachers.

Activity conflicts. They arise between a teacher and a student and manifest themselves in the student’s refusal to complete an educational task or poor performance of it. This can happen for various reasons: fatigue, difficulty in mastering educational material, and sometimes an unfortunate remark from the teacher instead of specific help to the student. Such conflicts often occur with students who have difficulty mastering the material, as well as when the teacher teaches in the class for a short time and the relationship between him and the students is limited to academic work. There are fewer such conflicts in the lessons of class teachers and primary school teachers, when communication in the lesson is determined by the nature of the existing relationships with students in a different setting. Recently, there has been an increase in school conflicts due to the fact that the teacher often makes excessive demands on students, and uses grades as a means of punishment for those who violate discipline. These situations often cause capable, independent students to leave school, and for the rest, interest in learning in general decreases.

Conflicts of actions. A pedagogical situation can lead to conflict if the teacher made a mistake when analyzing the student’s actions, did not find out his motives, or made an unfounded conclusion. After all, one and the same action can be dictated by different motives. The teacher tries to correct the behavior of students, sometimes evaluating their actions with insufficient information about the reasons that caused them. Sometimes he only guesses about the motives of actions, does not delve into the relationship between children - in such cases, errors are possible when assessing behavior. As a consequence, students have a completely justified disagreement with this situation.

Relationship conflicts often arise as a result of the teacher’s inept resolution of problematic situations and are, as a rule, protracted in nature. These conflicts acquire a personal touch, give rise to long-term hostility between the student and the teacher, and disrupt interaction for a long time.

Causes and components of pedagogical conflicts:

insufficient responsibility of the teacher for pedagogically correct resolution of problem situations: after all, school is a model of society where students learn the norms of relationships between people;

participants in conflicts have different social status (teacher-student), which determines their behavior in the conflict;

differences in the life experiences of the participants also determine different degrees of responsibility for mistakes in conflict resolution;

different understanding of events and their causes (the conflict “through the eyes of the teacher” and “through the eyes of the student” is seen differently), so the teacher is not always able to understand the child’s experiences, and the student is not always able to cope with emotions;

the presence of other students turns them from observers into participants, and the conflict acquires an educational meaning for them as well; The teacher always has to remember this;

the teacher’s professional position in a conflict obliges him to take the initiative in resolving it, since the interests of the student as an emerging personality always remain a priority;

every teacher’s mistake in resolving a conflict gives rise to new problems and conflicts, which involve other students;

Conflict in teaching activities is easier to prevent than to resolve.

The current situation in the country, the plight of the school, and insufficient training of teachers, especially young ones, to constructively resolve conflicts with students lead to significant destructive consequences. According to psychological studies for 1996, 35-40% of childhood neuroses are didactogenic in nature. Research also shows that in interpersonal conflict between a teacher and a student, there is a high proportion of negative consequences (83%) compared to positive influences.

It is important that the teacher is able to correctly determine his position in the conflict; and if the class collective is on his side, then it is easier for him to find the optimal way out of the current situation. If the class begins to have fun with the disciplinarian or takes an ambivalent position, this is fraught with negative consequences (for example, conflicts can become a chronic phenomenon).

To constructively resolve the conflict, the relationship between the teacher and the teenager’s parents is important.

Often, a teacher’s communication with older students is based on the same principles as with elementary school students. This type of relationship does not correspond to the age characteristics of a teenager, first of all, his idea of ​​himself - the desire to occupy an equal position in relation to adults. A successful resolution of the conflict is impossible without the psychological readiness of the teacher to move on to a new type of relationship with maturing children. The initiator of building such relationships should be an adult.

A survey of schoolchildren conducted under the guidance of Professor V.I. Zhuravlev, showed that about 80% of students felt hatred towards certain teachers. Students cite the following as the main reasons for this attitude:

teachers do not like children - 70%;

negative personal qualities of a teacher - 56%;

direct assessment of their knowledge by the teacher - 28%;

the teacher has poor knowledge of his specialty - 12%.

There are often cases when the negative attitude of students towards a teacher is transferred to the subject that he teaches. Thus, 11% of schoolchildren say that they hated certain disciplines studied at school.

The basis of the conflictual relationship between a student and a teacher is a negative assessment by students of the professional or personal qualities of the teacher. The higher the student evaluates the professionalism and personality of the teacher, the more authoritative he is for him, the less often conflicts arise between them. More often, primary school teachers manage to establish good contact with students. Senior schoolchildren, recalling their primary school education, assessed their teachers, who worked without conflict, as follows:

• * the first teacher was ideal;
• * she is an exemplary teacher whom you remember all your life;
• * exceptionally experienced teacher, master of his craft;
• * in four years there were seven teachers, all of them were wonderful people;
• * I can’t say anything negative about the primary school teacher;
• * there were no conflicts, the teacher’s authority was so high that her every word was law for us;
• * there were no conflicts, our teacher was an indisputable authority not only for students, but also for their parents;

Long before the emergence of conflictology as a science, smart people, based on everyday experience, formulated the rule: “When two people conflict, the one who is smarter is wrong.” A smart person must be able to protect his interests and the interests of the business without conflicts. Based on this, in conflicts between students and teachers, the latter are most often in the wrong. The student’s life experience, the amount of his knowledge, worldview, and communication skills with the outside world are much less than that of the teacher. The teacher must learn to remain above conflicts and resolve natural and inevitable problems in relationships with students without negative emotions (preferably with humor).

At the same time, it would be completely wrong to place all responsibility for conflicts between a student and a teacher on the latter.

Firstly, today's schoolchildren are noticeably different from those who attended school in 1982. Moreover, often not for the better. Twenty years ago, in a nightmare, it was impossible to imagine that the situation with the use of alcohol, drugs, and toxic substances at school would become so aggravated. And now this is reality.

Secondly, the socio-economic situation in the school itself has noticeably deteriorated, which in turn contributes to the emergence of conflicts between student and teacher.

Thirdly, the quality of teacher training has obviously decreased.

Fourthly, a low standard of living provokes tension in the relationship between students and teachers. Stress among teachers, caused by the hardships of life, stress among schoolchildren, which is a consequence of material problems in their families, causes increased aggressiveness in both.

The theme of love between a student and a teacher is as old as time. Tender feelings can arise both in first-grader Maxim for his first teacher Anna Ivanovna, and in third-year student Katya for sociology teacher Alexander Mikhailovich. Usually emotions pass and falling in love is forgotten, but it happens that feelings develop into “something more.” Comments on love stories are given by psychologist and director of the Center for Successful Relationships Elena Dubovik.

SCHOOL LOVE: IRA + VIKTOR EVGENIEVICH

— In order to understand this story, you need to live in the village. How is it there? Peace and quiet: there are girls, but there are only one, two guys. Therefore, every new man is worth his weight in gold. Ira was 16 years old, Viktor Evgenievich was 23. He came to the village to work for two years as assigned, recalls Lyuda, Irina’s classmate. “Of course, they didn’t get started right away. He acted seriously - he was a teacher after all! But she was not too flattered: the guy, of course, was young and promising, but in her class there were seven more girls with the same advantages as her - youth and size four breasts.

The relationship began at school on New Year's Eve. Disco, dancing, twilight... Everyone knew about their romance: both teachers and parents, but they turned a blind eye - they understood that Ira had arranged her personal life. True, the couple was in no hurry to get married after she graduated from school. She went to college, towards the end of her studies she became pregnant and a couple of months later the whole village played their wedding. Now they live in the village, in their husband’s house. They have a one-year-old baby, and a second one will be born soon. I don’t know if this is love, but Ira is sure that her life is a success: she has a ring from the Sapphires and Diamonds store in the regional center and the mandatory minimum - two children - has been met.

LEADER'S LOVE: DASHA + DMITRY VALERIEVICH

— Dima and I met at the Druzhba camp near Rakov. I ended up on a specialized shift for activists of organizations, excellent production workers and other cool kids,” says illustrator Dasha. — The program there was intense: thematic trainings, vocals, dancing! I remember how terribly upset I was when they didn’t take me on vocals - I considered myself a great singer. The counselor randomly signed me up... for a stage fight. I came to the first lesson without any plans to arrange my personal life - in sweatpants and a green sweater that didn’t match them.

I was unable to comprehend the complex art of non-touch combat. The course was taught by very cool people, it was immediately obvious that they were actors. Dima came to work with his best friend Vova. But since my consciousness was clouded from the fiasco in the singing field, and my strict upbringing forbade me to look in the direction of male teachers, I did not have any thoughts about Dima as a man. I thought: “They are 30 years old and have had wives and children for a long time.” Then everything was one: the young, handsome Dima, and the mustachioed physicist Nikolai Stepanovich. The teacher - and that's it. I was 16 then, he was 24.

The counselors wanted live communication with the children and immediately gathered around everyone who seemed interesting to them. We went into the forests to fry sausages, play volleyball... They both charmed me, but there was still no talk of any love. I became very attached to them. And then one morning I woke up, and they had left for Minsk. I cried for half a day: I felt betrayed - friends don’t do that! I sobbed and sobbed and suddenly received a mysterious letter. It told me where to go to find the cache. The cache contained a bouquet of wildflowers and poems by Pasternak. In general, after a while they returned - and Dima began to look after me. He sent poems about love from cool poets, gave him all sorts of romantic things like a raven feather, a glass cone or a pine cone... Then I completely fell in love.

When the shift ended, I left for another camp - to Ukraine. I was bored, tormented... And one day I came to the dining room - and there was Dima! Waiting for me! I've arrived! I didn’t know exactly where I was, so I soaked in a tent for two nights. We returned to Belarus together. Then there was hellish romance: while I was finishing my studies in the 11th grade, he came a couple of times a month and was at the graduation. Then I entered the university, and after the 3rd year we got married.

I stopped calling him “you” only when he kissed me, and I finally realized that we had love, and not “teacher-student.” He was Dmitry Valerievich, and it was difficult to switch to “just Dima”. Of course, I had to relearn: after all, calling your husband on you is not very good. If such a story had happened to a teacher at the university, it would hardly have worked out: my upbringing and internal barrier do not allow me to play tricks with teachers. But this happened with Dima, because our age difference is not so great, and the relationship in the camp is not so formal.

UNIVERSITY LOVE: MARINA + STANISLAV IGOREVICH

“Marina was a real sex bomb from the periphery in our group,” says former philology student Zhenya. — And Svyatoslav Igorevich is a slightly faded metropolitan playboy. He taught philosophy at the university, and she came to his lectures and seminars.

Of course, at first no one knew anything about their romance - neither girlfriends nor classmates. Later it turned out that the feelings bloomed for almost a year. One day they were simply caught kissing in the audience. Time passed, course after course flew by, until Marina became pregnant.

“Six months later we found out that they got married. Marina dropped out of school for the sake of her family: now she is raising her daughter, pickling cucumbers, endlessly making some salads - in a word, she is building a nest. And 52-year-old Svyatoslav Igorevich still teaches at the university, and we are afraid that he might have his eye on a new wife.

Learning is a complex and multifaceted process, the course of which is impossible without some clashes and contradictions between teacher and student.

Conflict between a teacher and a student is a common phenomenon and, of course, has its own characteristics and reasons. Such a problem requires the involvement of teachers, students, and parents.

Reasons and features

The main causes of conflict between teacher and student include the following:

• low level of teacher responsibility when resolving a problem situation;
• different status and life experiences of the participants in the conflict;
• each side of the conflict sees the situation in its own way: the teacher does not seek to understand the student’s experiences, and the student cannot always cope with his emotions due to age characteristics.

Teacher M. Rybakova in her work “Conflict and Interaction in Teaching Activities” described a number of reasons why conflicts occur between teachers and students:

• as a result of actions related to a performance problem;
• the specifics of the teacher’s response to student behavior that does not meet school requirements;
• features of emotional and personal relationships that have developed between teacher and student.

In pedagogical science, the following classification of conflicts between teacher and student is accepted:

1. Conflict of activity. In this case, we are talking about a collision based on the refusal on the part of the student to carry out the teacher’s task. Also, such a conflict is indicated by the student’s careless, improper performance of the task.

The causes of such conflict are often:

• increased fatigue;
• inability to assimilate a large amount of educational material;
• lack of objective help from the teacher.

Conflicts of this kind take place in a situation where the teacher is just starting to work with the class and interpersonal relationships have not yet reached a more trusting level.

The causes of conflicts are often the teacher’s desire to use marks as a means of punishment. It is noted that the requirements for students are quite high. As a result of such conflicts, truly capable and talented schoolchildren are forced to leave for other educational institutions, and the rest lose interest in studying.

2. Conflict of actions. There are situations when a teacher accuses a student of some wrong (in his opinion) action or deed, without understanding the motives and objective reasons for what happened. Based on unfounded conclusions, the teacher seeks to correct the student’s behavior. Without delving into the specifics of the situation, the teacher mistakenly assesses the whole situation as a whole. Not all students are able to remain silent; most often, a conflict of actions unfolds into a serious clash, colored by sharply negative emotions.

3. Relationship conflict. A distinctive feature of such situations is the protracted nature of the conflict that arises as a result of the teacher’s illiterate resolution of any problem. Relationship conflicts often have a personal basis. The result of such a collision is a long-term mismatched interaction between teacher and student, expressed by a hostile attitude.

Statistics show that most conflicts between a teacher and a student have negative consequences (about 85%), so it is so important to notice changes in relationships in time and take the necessary measures to eliminate the conflict.

There are a number of signs by which attentive parents can notice that their child is having problems at school:

• the child loses interest in learning in general or in a particular subject, he tends to ruin the textbook, sloppily writes in his diary and notebooks, which has not been observed before;
• the child is aggressively opposed to the teacher, gets irritated when talking about him, comes up with “nicknames” and draws all kinds of caricatures.

After the parents have assessed the situation and realized that the child really has a conflict with the teacher, it is necessary to take action. Such a situation cannot be left to chance and remain on the sidelines as an observer or a simple listener.

How to resolve conflict between teacher and student

Many years of experience of teachers and psychologists have made it possible to identify certain general ways to resolve all school conflicts:

• calm;
• objective analysis of the situation;
• building an open dialogue;
• defining a common goal;
• conclusions.

Such a scheme takes into account the needs and capabilities of all parties to the conflict. Of course, it is better to avoid a collision situation, but if a conflict does occur, following some recommendations will allow you to resolve it constructively, without unnecessary emotions and worries.

• Pressure on the child is unacceptable, this will only cause even greater negativity;
• the student should not be required to publicly apologize and admit his mistakes;
• it is important to give a hint to build an algorithm of correct actions on the part of the student;
• it is necessary to build a dialogue with the student, the tone of the conversation should be calm and friendly;
• the conversation must be substantive and specific;
• there may be a need to involve parents in order to interest the child in other areas of life; a good example in this case is the sports section;
• It is important to be able to listen and hear a child!

• it is important to assess the situation calmly, realistically and objectively;
• it is necessary to have a conversation with the teacher and find out the cause of the conflict;
• scandalous behavior, swearing and rudeness will lead nowhere;
• after determining the cause, try to find a common goal and ways out of the conflict, build a constructive model of behavior for all parties to the conflict;
• do not rush to change teachers or schools; such a strategy can only do harm, because the child will have to build relationships in a new team, but it is so important to develop social skills, including behavior in a conflict situation.

• have a calm conversation with the child to clarify the problem;
• during the conversation there should be no caustic remarks, threats and sarcastic remarks;
• the situation requires an objective analysis, and not worries about the consequences;
• parents must prompt the child to apologize to the teacher (the presence of parents is possible only at the request of the student).

Parents should build a harmonious and friendly relationship with the teacher. In this case, the likelihood of conflicts arising is minimized, and if they arise, they are resolved quickly and constructively!

Video: Conflicts between children and teachers