“My ex-husband has a new family, but I still couldn’t find peace in myself, although in fact there were no feelings left, I was probably more worried about how he would treat our child. He left, then I didn’t sleep at night, wondering how he was and what was wrong with him, and did I do the right thing? When he created a new family, the neurosis became even greater, I want to call him, tell him what a scoundrel he is, that he abandoned his child, forgot, and the like.” - this is what many women who have gone through a divorce think and have feelings for their ex-husband. Although, in fact, maybe divorce is for the better?

“After a little time, I began to understand that if I quarrel with my ex-husband, there would be no happiness either in my family or in his, and the child would suddenly hate me. And then I decided to develop mental balance and calmly react to my husband’s actions. And you know, it turns out that I began to feel even better, the child communicates with his father - this is the secret of happiness, and we began to establish relationships as families, because it is not worth making and making enemies, it is more useful to have friends” - this is an example of a woman who deserves I was able to survive the divorce, let go of my ex-husband and get my life back on track. Take her example!

I'm lonely, I was already with someone else

It seemed that this was the end of life. There is nothing worse in the world than being alone. I have no appetite for days. Living, eating, paying attention to the child - everything seems empty without her ex-husband. Life goes on, and the woman is still waiting for her ex-husband to return...

“Every time I imagined her in her place, how he sleeps with her, goes to restaurants, guests, to his mother-in-law, what she cooks for him. I began to miss his attention, small quarrels over trifles, the fact that he watches football on weekends, in a word, everything that I didn’t like before.” - such thoughts occur to women when their husband and property were taken away by someone else, and now, instead of improving her life and developing, the woman feels sorry for herself.

Why isn't he with me?

This question does not leave exes alone. “What could I have done that provoked my husband to leave for another woman. Maybe I'm a bad wife, mother, or I just don't suit him in bed? Or I simply devoted little time to leisure time together, I cooked differently from his mother, with love.”

This question is difficult to answer. Try to find out from your ex what the reason is in order to prevent it from happening in future relationships. Or maybe it’s just not about you and your mistakes, but he fell in love for the second time.

“My husband stopped paying attention to me, I became an empty place for him, a person with whom he considered it pointless to spend his life. No matter how much I think why he is not with me, but with another, and everything is in vain, I just remind myself once again about that terrible day. As a result, I decided to turn to a family psychologist, no matter how funny it may sound. He helped me get out of this situation by explaining that I was simply too fixated on my ex-spouse. I believed it myself, and even more than that. After several visits to a specialist, I began to believe in myself, learned to love myself for who I am, and life began to improve.” — review from a grateful visitor to a psychologist. If you yourself cannot cope with depression after a divorce, then seek help from a specialist. If you still have a joint loan with your ex-husband, read the article.

Men and women meet, fall in love, get married, get married, have children. And then they get divorced. This happens and, unfortunately, often. Then, most often, another family appears. But there are children from the first marriage, and usually everyone remains offended as a result of intra-family relationships: wives/husbands from the first marriage, from the second and, of course, children. It happens that children from a first marriage cause the breakup of a second family.

Usually the cause of tension in family relationships is jealousy. The first wife is not too happy when her ex-husband has a new family. In addition, a woman left alone with children worries more about the future - after all, she now needs to raise children alone, and this requires not only mental strength, but also the most banal financial expenses. Children need to be clothed, fed, bought toys, taken care of education (and in Russia, for example, there is already talk that not only higher education, but even secondary education will be paid). Naturally, the ex-wife urgently demands that the father of the children provide his offspring with everything they need. And if the ex-husband is not an alcoholic, not a parasite, and so on, then he is also required to participate in raising children (the mother is not always able to solve educational issues herself, especially when it comes to raising boys - this requires the participation of a man).

It is rare to come across second wives who are understanding of the fact that the husband regularly visits his ex-family. No, many women understand everything - in words, but continue to be jealous, that is, there is no understanding as such. It's all about their lack of confidence in their own importance for their husband. There is also a fear that the ex-wife will somehow manage to return “her property” - by manipulating the man, using the children as a measure of influence. Such fears are especially strong if the new family does not yet have children. In such a situation, three ways to solve the problem are usually used.

The first way. The second wife categorically forbids her husband to visit the children from his first marriage. She constantly creates scandals, counts every penny her husband spends on the children in addition to mandatory alimony, controls his every move - what if he takes advantage of an hour of free time to visit the children. The path is vicious, leading to the collapse of the new family. A man who rightly believes that he divorced the woman, but not the children, wanting to maintain peace in the new family, begins to visit the children secretly, hiding money from his new wife in order to be able to help the children. A double life begins: one in the family, the other outside it. It is impossible to call such an existence a normal family.

Often a new wife justifies her behavior by saying that by filing a divorce, the husband has completely abandoned everything that connects him with his first family. She sincerely believes that from the moment of divorce, the children have nothing to do with it (well, except that they are required to pay alimony established by law). Moreover, she distances herself from her husband’s past life, not wanting to have anything to do with it, and not allowing him to even remember that there once was another wife and, accordingly, children. “Everything is different now!” he declares almost out loud. - “You need to forget about the past.” However, this past includes not only the abandoned woman, but also children. And it’s difficult for a decent man to forget about this. If he continues to be pushed towards selective sclerosis, his high opinion of his new wife, the love that was the reason for the new marriage, may evaporate. And along with them - the marriage itself.

The second way best described by the words “It doesn’t concern me!” The new family completely distances itself from everything connected with the first marriage, including children. The second wife pretends that her husband simply does not have any other children except the common ones. In the optimal case, an agreement can be reached: once a week the husband visits the children from his first marriage, the wife at this time goes about her business (for example, meets with friends - such an arrangement is very convenient if the husband does not approve of his wife’s friends), and a day is always set , which the husband spends with his new family. In the worst case scenario, the second wife simply ignores all her husband’s problems related to children from his first marriage, even refuses to talk about this topic, citing the refusal by the fact that this does not concern her, all these are other people’s problems. And she doesn’t even notice that the category of “strangers” includes not only the problems of her husband’s first family, but also his own, a person who, by definition, should not be a stranger to her. Moreover, the man gradually gets used to the idea that he has a life separate from his family, that his problems are only his own, that he cannot expect support from his family. All this does not at all improve the family situation and only contributes to the separation of spouses from each other.

The third way- friendship. Some wives still manage to either get rid of the feeling of jealousy, or at least hide it more reliably, and try to make friends with their husband’s children from his first marriage. Sometimes men protest against this development of events, wanting to completely separate two lives: the first marriage and the second. But the majority are happy with the fact that they don’t have to hide their love for their children, that they can discuss emerging problems in the family, get advice and support. This path is good, but quite complicated.
Inevitable problems arise: children from the first marriage are not too happy about the appearance of their stepmother, they blame her for losing their father, sometimes even if the first marriage and the second are separated by years (often the first wife supports the children in this opinion, with all her feelings offended woman, fanning hostility towards his father’s new wife and himself).

In addition, it is very difficult to refuse something to a child from a first marriage. After all, an accusation may follow: “This is because you are not my mother! You are a stranger! Attempts at education lead to the phrase: “But mom says that everything is completely wrong!” - and not everyone dares to say that mom can also be wrong, and, moreover, such a statement can cause an outbreak of hostility on the part of the child.

Difficulties are aggravated when the new family has children together. Often children from a first marriage, subconsciously outraged by the appearance of a “stranger” and “competitor,” double their demands, unconsciously trying to deprive their half-brother or sister, to deprive them of something the way this child deprived them of their father. And here not only the stepmother, but also the father finds himself in a difficult situation: refusing the children from their first marriage leads to their opinion: “They don’t love us anymore! Everything goes to him (or her, meaning a child from a second marriage)!” Indulging in unreasonable demands can even lead to financial difficulties in the family.

A woman who has chosen the path of friendship with children from her first marriage experiences constant psychological pressure. After all, she is not allowed to forget for a minute that her husband used to have another family, there are other children who require his love and attention. Sometimes it even seems that this love and attention is taken away from their common children. However, this relationship option turns out to be the most advantageous, even if it is not possible to establish contact with the husband’s children. In the end, the main thing for the second wife is not the fruits of her husband’s first marriage, but her family, and her relationship with her husband is not overshadowed by either secrecy or suspicion. True, in order to follow this path, you need to be convinced of your own value for your husband, of his love. Then it becomes clear that everyone takes their place: the wife is in her place, the children are in theirs, and all this does not intersect. And a man’s love for his own children does not at all diminish his love for his wife.

For those who are not confident in their tolerance (as well as in their value for this man “with a past”), it is better to think carefully before entering into marriage. Well, if the marriage has already been concluded, then you should not blame the man for his love for children, for his desire to provide them with maximum support.
Sometimes it happens that a man, feeling guilty towards his former family, begins to pay too much attention to the children from his first marriage. Children from a second marriage find themselves in secondary roles (motivation – “They already have everything! The main thing is that they have both parents!”). Typically, in this case, children from the second marriage are deprived, because their father may completely stop taking part in upbringing, being convinced that his regular presence in the house is enough.

If such problems arise, or if the second wife begins to feel pathological hostility towards the children from her first marriage, it is better to contact a professional psychologist who deals specifically with family and marriage problems. In the overwhelming majority of cases, after family consultations, jealousy on the part of the second wife and guilt on the part of the man go away, and a normal family life is established, not overshadowed by “skeletons in the closet.”

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My ex-husband had a child

The ex-husband filed a claim for a reduction in alimony because he had a child in his second marriage. I took the decree back and terminated my alimony obligations. Will there be a trial? Should I be present in court?

The trial will take place in any case; if he actually had a second child, the court will reduce the amount of alimony to 33% for both children. Your joint child will receive 16.5% of his earnings. You cannot terminate the alimony relationship. The revocation of an order or decision from the bailiffs does not affect his obligation to support the child in any way. Waiver of alimony has no legal effect. You may not be present at the trial; your position on this issue will be insignificant.

Good afternoon You cannot terminate alimony obligations if you have no reason to do so! . 1. Alimony obligations established by an agreement on the payment of alimony are terminated by the death of one of the parties, the expiration of this agreement, or on the grounds provided for by this agreement. 2. Payment of alimony collected in court shall cease: upon the child reaching the age of majority or in the event that minor children acquire full legal capacity before they reach adulthood; upon adoption of a child for whose maintenance alimony was collected; when the court recognizes the restoration of working capacity or the cessation of the need for assistance of the recipient of alimony; when a disabled ex-spouse who is the recipient of alimony enters into a new marriage; death of the person receiving alimony or the person obligated to pay alimony. The trial will take place in any case. You may not be present at the trial, but for complete peace of mind, after you receive the summons, call the court and warn that you will not be able to attend the trial.

I am married. My ex-husband has a child from his first marriage, and we also had a son in our marriage. I also have my own child, I am a single mother, there are dashes on the birth certificate. From 2013 to September 2018, my husband paid his wife 13 tr monthly on the card for child support (voluntary).
She had in her hands a court order dated 2013, which she received during a divorce; she did not submit it anywhere until October, but in October she sent it to her employer. In October, my husband received a ruling to cancel this order because he didn’t even know about its existence.
IN at the moment she filed a claim for alimony in court in the amount of 1/4 of all income.
Tell me, how much alimony will she be awarded? Can she collect alimony for the last 3 years, if she previously did not take action to collect it and he did not evade payments.
Will the court take into account the fact that my husband has another child (our common one), and that my child is also our dependent since she has no father. And is it possible to ask the court to assign alimony in a fixed amount, since we still have a mortgage.

In this case, it is best for you to eliminate all doubts by also filing a claim for alimony, and for two children they will be recovered 1/3, that is, for one child 1/6

My husband pays alimony to his ex-wife in a fixed amount. We had a child. Can he apply for a review, taking into account the fact that he has another child and he also needs to be supported?

You and your husband can enter into a notarized Agreement on the payment of alimony, and he can submit an application for a reduction in the amount of alimony. Look at Article 80 of the RF IC Parents have the right to enter into an agreement on the maintenance of their minor children (agreement on the payment of alimony) in accordance with Chapter 16 of this Code.

Yes, it is possible to reduce a fixed amount of money based on the circumstances you specified only under certain conditions that you indicate in the claim.

The courts refuse to reduce the amount of alimony from TDS by a share, because the level of provision for the child is significantly reduced. For example: alimony in TDS is 10,000.00 rubles, and in shares it will be 2,000.00 rubles. Level reduction by 5 times. Not a single judge will agree to a reduction. The court has the right, not the obligation, to change the amount of alimony. The birth of a child is not a basis for changing the amount of alimony. Read the judicial practice under Article 119 of the RF IC and exclude those facts on which the court rejected the plaintiffs.

My ex-husband had a second child, how much child support will my child receive now? Also 25%? If they apply for alimony for their second child (they have already applied for their first child)

Hello! You will receive 16.5%.

Hello. Your ex-husband has the right to file a claim to reduce the amount of alimony collected (Article 119 of the RF IC). If alimony in the amount of 1/4 of your spouse’s total income was collected for the maintenance of your child, now he has the right to reduce it to 1/6.

Good afternoon If they submit for recalculation, they can reduce it to 15%, i.e. for two children only 30%. But both they and you can go to court and ask to assign alimony in a fixed amount. And in any case, they have the right to reduce the amount of alimony for the first child in connection with the birth of the second.

Hello, Alexandra! And you do not recognize the claims if they reduce the amount of alimony, insist that they deliberately worsen the financial situation of your child, since they live in a joint marriage and there is no need to collect alimony for their children. The birth of a second child is just confirmation of this!

My husband and I are about to have a baby. He pays the BZ 1/4 of all income for the child from his first marriage. Can he apply for a reduction in the amount of alimony without me having to file for alimony for my husband?

The spouse can apply to the court to reduce the amount of alimony.

Of course it can. This right is provided for in Article 119 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation. However, I want to convey to you that the mere fact of birth is often not enough. The birth of a child is not a necessary condition for changing the previous amount of alimony. These requirements require an assessment of both the financial situation of your entire family and the family of his ex-wife and child. Please consider these circumstances carefully when preparing your claim.

Question - my ex-husband filed for a reduction in the amount of alimony from 1/4 to 1/6 because... he had a 3rd child. I am also currently on maternity leave. Question: Is my current husband's income taken into account when calculating income? After all, he is not obliged to support my son from his first marriage (in turn, he pays alimony for his 2 children)

Hello. Let everything be taken into account taking into account the financial and marital status of the parties and other circumstances worthy of attention.

Good afternoon Evgeniya. indicates: If, in the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, after the amount of alimony has been established in court, the financial or marital status of one of the parties has changed, the court has the right, at the request of either party, to change the established amount of alimony or to exempt the person obliged to pay alimony from paying it. When changing the amount of alimony or when releasing it from payment, the court also has the right to take into account other noteworthy interests of the parties. The Supreme Court in the plenum of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation dated December 26, 2017, in paragraph 55, says: A change in the financial or marital status of the parties may be recognized by the court as significant and be the basis for satisfying the requirement to change or terminate the agreement on the payment of alimony if the financial or marital status of the parties has changed so much so that if such a provision had existed at the time the agreement was concluded, it would not have been concluded in connection with a violation of the interests of any of the parties to the agreement, or the parties entered into it on significantly different terms. The position of the Supreme Court in a review of judicial practice from 2015 indicates: When the court resolved demands for changes in the amount of alimony or for exemption from alimony payments, the courts generally correctly applied the provisions of paragraph 1 of Article 119 of the RF IC, taking into account the explanations contained in paragraph 14 of the Plenum resolution Supreme Court of the Russian Federation dated October 25, 1996 N 9, according to which when determining the amount of alimony collected from a parent for minor children (clause 2 of Article 81 of the RF IC), changing the amount of alimony or exemption from its payment (clause 1 of Article 119 of the RF IC ) the court takes into account the financial and marital status of the parties, as well as other noteworthy circumstances or interests of the parties (for example, the incapacity of family members to whom the party is legally obliged to provide maintenance, the onset of disability or the presence of a disease that prevents the continuation of previous work, the entry of a child to work or engaging in entrepreneurial activity). Hence the answer to your question: your husband’s income is taken into account without a doubt.

The court has the right to change the amount of alimony, but not the obligation. Judicial practice under Article 119 of the RF IC is fortunately on the side of the recipient of alimony, because Courts very often deny plaintiffs their requests to change the amount of alimony. According to paragraph 57 of the Resolution of the Plenum of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation dated December 26, 2017 No. 56 “On the application by courts of legislation when considering cases related to the collection of alimony,” when resolving the request of a parent paying alimony for a minor child, to reduce the amount of alimony, one should have in mind that a change in the financial or marital status of a given parent is not an unconditional basis for satisfying his claim. You look at court decisions, because... you will have to file your objections to the claim and you will be helped by the conclusions of the courts that rejected the plaintiffs.

My husband has an ex-wife and a child, she gave birth to a second child from another without signing with him, there are suspicions that her second child is registered with my husband, because her last name is exactly his and there is no certainty that she has a divorce stamp , how can I find out if this is true, and what could happen if the child is still registered with my husband?

If more than 400 days have passed since the divorce, then she does not have the right to register the child with your husband.

Good afternoon, Natalya. If the spouses are divorced and there is a certificate of divorce, then a stamp in the passport is automatically placed on both former spouses when the certificate is issued. If the child is registered with your husband, then alimony may be collected from him. In this case, at the court hearing, your husband can declare that the child was conceived or born after the divorce and he cannot be its father.

Try checking with the registry office. If it turns out that the child is registered in your husband’s name, he (the husband) can challenge paternity in court. A genetic examination will be carried out in court, after which the court will exclude the record of paternity (with an appropriate expert opinion). Indication as the father gives the right to claim alimony, as well as inheritance rights.

I have a question. The husband pays his ex-wife alimony for their common child. Our daughter was born in 2015, and I immediately applied for alimony to make it half and half. But unfortunately, the husband has only now agreed to go to court to file a claim to reduce the amount of alimony. Please tell me the reduction in alimony will come into effect in 2015 or 2018.

Hello! As you call the reduction, it will be from the moment when the court designates this in its decision, in the operative part of its decision, you need to indicate in your statement of claim a time period where it will be clear from what moment calculations will be made and in what amount.

The court has the right to change the amount of alimony, but not the obligation. Mostly they refuse. The birth of a second child is not grounds for changing child support. He should ask for a reduction from 1/4 to 1/6, because... against your joint child the court d.b. assign 1/6.

If your ex-husband has a child, does it reduce the alimony for the first one or not?

Hello, dear Yulia Nikolaevna! This will depend on the following conditions: 1 If alimony for the first child was collected from him on the basis of Article 81 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation (in short - FC), i.e. in the amount of 1/4 of earnings and (or) other income. 2 If the mother of his newborn child also demands alimony from the father. 3 If his earnings are at least 20,000 rubles. Then he has the right to appeal to the magistrate with a claim on the basis of Articles 81, 119 of the Family Code to reduce the amount of alimony collected from him by the court for his first child. Article 119. Changing the amount of alimony established by the court and exemption from payment of alimony 1. If, in the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, after the amount of alimony has been established in court, the financial or marital status of one of the parties has changed, the court has the right, at the request of any of the parties, to change the established amount of alimony or exempt the person obligated to pay alimony from paying it. When changing the amount of alimony or when releasing it from payment, the court also has the right to take into account other noteworthy interests of the parties. Good luck to you.

Changing the amount of alimony under Article 119 of the RF IC based on a claim by the alimony provider. However, his woman must collect child support for herself if she is registered with the registry office. If the child works officially, they will award 1/6, but you will still receive 1/4. If it doesn’t work, then they will assign a fixed amount of money, Article 83 of the RF IC, and you will still receive 1/4. The court is unlikely to satisfy the man's claim, because... This is a right, not an obligation of the court. If a man is not currently working officially, then he must pay you based on the average salary in Russia (RUB 45,846.00), and the bailiff will also count his debt from this salary. For you to study and apply - “Methodological recommendations on the procedure for fulfilling the requirements of executive documents on the collection of alimony” (approved by the FSSP of Russia on June 19, 2012 No. 01-16).

If my ex-husband and the father of my child have criminal article 157, then I want to deprive him of parental rights. Will this affect my daughter in the future?

If there is a criminal article, then it will be. Perhaps she will not be accepted into the civil service and other positions. If you deprive your parental rights, there will be no problems.

I have two children, what amount of alimony will be if my ex-husband has a child in his new family?

Good day! According to Art. 81 Family Code, paragraph 1. In the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, alimony for minor children is collected by the court from their parents monthly in the amount of: for one child - one quarter, for two children - one third, for three or more children - half of the earnings and (or) other income of the parents. That is, your two children account for 33% of the payment from your ex-husband.

Good afternoon, immediately after the birth of your child, nothing will change for you in terms of child support. In order for this to change, the new wife must first collect alimony from her husband for her child. And then the father of the children must go to court with a claim to change the amount of alimony for your children. After the court's decision, the amount of alimony will not change. In total, he should be charged 50% for three. Now you have 33%.:2= 16.5% for one child. 50%:3= 16.6.% per child.

If you have already collected alimony, then the court will assign 1/6 for a child born in a second marriage, and you will continue to receive your 1/3. There is no point in changing anything for the alimony provider, because... for 3 children it’s still 1/2.

Bought a house for a mat. two children and my ex-husband and I share capital. A third child was born and the administration says that there is no land due since there is property and land for everyone except the third child. Is it possible to get land for a third person in this case?

Hello dear visitor, refusal is legal, because... if the family has a plot, another plot of land. Not allowed by law. Good luck to you and all the best, with respect, lawyer Ligostaeva A.V.

The ex-husband married a woman with a child and they had a child together, he filed for division of alimony. Summoned to court. can I leave 25 percent for my son. He does not communicate with the child.

Hello, insist on this, point out to the court that the husband actually lives with the second family and supports them. For a complete answer, you need to know your situation, contact a lawyer.

My husband pays alimony to his ex-wife 25%. We had a child. I want to apply for alimony. I am interested in the question: can my ex-wife sue my husband in the future, because... Will her child support payments be reduced?

Good afternoon. No, she won’t be able to sue on this basis! It is quite possible to reduce child support for your first child, but you need to follow a certain procedure. At the first stage, you need to collect alimony from your husband. You must file a claim for the recovery of alimony in the magistrate's court at the place of your registration or at the place of registration of your husband - the choice is only yours. It is enough to attach a copy of the marriage and birth certificates to the statement of claim. State No duty is paid for such cases. And in some cases, you can establish alimony for yourself! Alimony for a spouse is always set in a fixed amount, usually in the amount of the subsistence level in the region. As for child support, you need to ask to set it at 1/6 of the father’s total income, taking into account the first child. However, if the child’s father does not work or receives part of the salary “in an envelope,” then this is the basis for establishing alimony in a fixed amount in the amount of the subsistence level for the child in the region. After collecting alimony in your favor, your husband can file a lawsuit to reduce alimony for the first child. You don’t need to think that it’s enough to download some template from the Internet and a kind judge will immediately reduce alimony. No, it won't happen that way. The claim must be properly substantiated, and if you make a mistake, they will refuse and it will be impossible to correct it. The main thing is to correctly draw up and substantiate such a statement of claim, which will be difficult for you to do on your own, without the help of a lawyer. Contact a lawyer on our website personally, he will help you draw up such a statement of claim and give all the necessary explanations.

In accordance with Article 90 of the RF IC, the following have the right to alimony: an ex-wife during pregnancy and for three years from the date of birth of a common child; a needy ex-spouse caring for a common disabled child until the child reaches the age of eighteen or a common child who has been disabled since childhood, group I; a disabled, needy ex-spouse who became disabled before the dissolution of the marriage or within a year from the date of dissolution of the marriage; a needy former spouse who has reached retirement age no later than five years from the date of divorce, if the spouses have been married for a long time. For two children, 1/3 of alimony is paid, but you will need to file a claim to reduce the amount of alimony. (Article 81, 119 RF IC)

How much child support should an ex-husband pay if he has a second child? Works unofficially, salary unknown.

A fixed amount of money is a living wage. 25% of wages, has the right to file a claim. The court will decide whether to reduce it to 16.5%, since he has two children..

The ex-husband filed a lawsuit to reduce alimony by 2 times, because... his second child was born. The question is that my ex-husband and I live in different cities, there are 1000 km between us, and he filed a lawsuit in his city. The assistant judge called me and informed me about the scheduled meeting, which naturally I would not be able to attend. I was offered to either consider the case without me, or transfer it to the jurisdiction of my place of residence. But I don’t quite understand this transfer procedure. Could you please explain what is being offered to me? And what is better in this situation. If the case is considered without me, how can I protect the rights of my child?

Good afternoon. Article 27 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child establishes that States Parties recognize the right of every child to a standard of living adequate for the physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development of the child. The parent(s) or other persons raising the child have primary responsibility for providing, within the limits of their abilities and financial resources, the living conditions necessary for the child's development. By virtue of Article 80 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, parents are obliged to support their minor children. This obligation is unconditional and is not linked by the legislator to the presence or absence of a citizen’s permanent and sufficient income. I would like to point out right away that if the child’s father filed a claim to reduce child support, then they will not necessarily reduce it! Of course, in order to give you a complete and accurate answer, you need to know what he writes in his claim. But in any case, you need to write your objection to his claim and defend your rights. Practice shows that if you object legally correctly, alimony will not be reduced. The main thing is to correctly draw up and substantiate such an objection to the statement of claim, which will be difficult for you to do on your own, without the help of a lawyer. Contact a lawyer personally, he will help you draw up such an objection to the statement of claim and give all the necessary explanations.

If the ex-husband now pays 25% to his real wife for one child, we have a child, I want to file for the elements, will his wife be invited to court? because I will go to court and have her reduce the size of the elements or can this be done without her?

Good afternoon. It is quite possible to reduce child support for your first child, but you need to follow a certain procedure. At the first stage, you need to collect alimony from your husband. You must file a claim for the recovery of alimony in the magistrate's court at the place of your registration or at the place of registration of your husband - the choice is only yours. It is enough to attach a copy of the marriage and birth certificates to the statement of claim. State No duty is paid for such cases. And in some cases, you can establish alimony for yourself! Alimony for a spouse is always set in a fixed amount, usually in the amount of the subsistence level in the region. As for child support, as a general rule, child support for one child is set at 1/4 of the father’s total income. However, if the child’s father does not work or receives part of the salary “in an envelope,” then this is the basis for establishing alimony in a fixed amount in the amount of the subsistence level for the child in the region. After collecting alimony in your favor, your husband can file a lawsuit to reduce alimony for the first child. You don’t need to think that it’s enough to download some template from the Internet and a kind judge will immediately reduce alimony. No, it won't happen that way. The claim must be properly substantiated, and if you make a mistake, they will refuse and it will be impossible to correct it. The main thing is to correctly draw up and substantiate such a statement of claim, which will be difficult for you to do on your own, without the help of a lawyer. Contact a lawyer on our website personally, he will help you draw up such a statement of claim and give all the necessary explanations.

Good afternoon, Ekaterina! If you file a lawsuit, your ex-wife will not take part in your case. After the court makes a decision to collect alimony, your husband has the right to appeal to his ex-wife with a claim to change the amount of alimony. The lawyers who work on this site can help you draft a claim correctly. Their contact details are listed after the answers to the question.

I had such a situation, I lived with my ex-husband, I got pregnant, I gave birth, we separated, the child first lived with me while the child was with me, the ex forced me to write a waiver of the child, as he scribbled, a situation appeared in my life, I signed a waiver of the child with a notary a year ago, now everything has worked out, but it’s going to court He didn’t tell me about the deprivation of rights and the elements; can I somehow return the child?

Hello! Of course you can. Legally, such a refusal does not deprive you of parental rights. You need to file a claim in court and determine the child’s place of residence with you. The main thing is to correctly draw up, motivate and justify such a statement of claim.

My ex-husband had a child in his second marriage. He pays 25 percent alimony to our child, but the second wife filed for alimony and was awarded 1/6 of her earnings. Now my husband has applied for a reduction to 1/6 of my child's alimony to equalize. Allegedly for two children no more than 33 percent. What are his chances of reducing my alimony to 1/6? How does the court usually proceed? Or maybe there are already similar decisions of the Supreme Court? Thanks in advance for your answers.

Good afternoon. This is not a rare situation and of course there is judicial practice. Article 27 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child establishes that States Parties recognize the right of every child to a standard of living adequate for the physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development of the child. The parent(s) or other persons raising the child have primary responsibility for providing, within the limits of their abilities and financial resources, the living conditions necessary for the child's development. By virtue of Article 80 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, parents are obliged to support their minor children. This obligation is unconditional and is not linked by the legislator to the presence or absence of a citizen’s permanent and sufficient income. I would like to point out right away that if the child’s father filed a claim to reduce child support, then they will not necessarily reduce it! Of course, in order to give you a complete and accurate answer, you need to know what he writes in his claim. But in any case, you need to write your objection to his claim and defend your rights. Practice shows that if you object legally correctly, alimony will not be reduced. The main thing is to correctly draw up and substantiate such an objection to the statement of claim, which will be difficult for you to do on your own, without the help of a lawyer. Contact a lawyer on our website personally, he will help you draw up such an objection to the statement of claim and give all the necessary explanations.

It should be assumed that the presence of a second child by the defendant, regardless of whether alimony has been collected for him or not, may not in all cases serve as a basis for reducing the amount of alimony collected for the first child to 1/6 of the earnings. In a number of cases, the court may limit itself to a different amount, for example, 1/5 of the salary, or even reject the claim, taking into account all the circumstances characterizing the family and financial situation of the parties.

Practice follows such a path that the courts, when considering the claims of fathers in such cases, only on the basis that a second child was born, do not reduce the amount of alimony that was collected in favor of the first child. To give you a more specific answer regarding your question, it is really necessary to familiarize yourself with the demands of your ex-husband and in any case you need to prepare your objections to his demands. Contact a specialist who will professionally study your issue and give you legal advice and prepare reasoned objections to the case.

I gave birth to my third child a year ago. Children have different fathers. For the third child, the ex-husband does not pay child support. Can I file a claim for a lump sum? And what is needed for this?

You can file, but whether the court will satisfy this requirement or not depends on a number of factors - whether there is a permanent job or not, the financial situation of the spouse, whether he has other children, etc., etc.

One person on this site, when asked how to obtain child support, answered literally the following (I quote) Not at all. Until he himself wants it, there won’t be a penny. And no one can force him to do this. Neither the bailiffs, nor the president, nor the UN. There are a lot of loopholes that the debtor can take advantage of to avoid paying. And this applies not only to alimony, but also, for example, notarized loans. The only way to REALLY receive alimony is not to take the “should-have-to” attitude, but to negotiate. I don’t know how right he is, but there is reason to think...

I don’t want to sell the apartment, but my ex-husband is forcing me to do something, he had a child from his 2nd marriage and he can write a deed of gift for him, but he refuses to write something for our children, he’s afraid that I’ll sell it. I can’t help but make repairs there, or anything! He doesn't pay for it and doesn't live. How can we force him to transfer his share to our children?

Good afternoon to you. Dear Anastasia, in this case you cannot force the owner to transfer his property to someone else. All that remains is to negotiate or sell your share yourself. And the money can be recovered through the court.

Does he pay child support? If not, collect the debt. Make demands to pay for the maintenance of housing for your share. So, little by little, you can reach an agreement with him on his share in payment of all your debts.

The ex-husband has a family and a child was born. His wife filed for alimony while married to him. After this, the ex-husband went to court to reduce the alimony for my child and equalize it, so that the two children would have an equal share of the accrual. I am afraid that later he may also demand alimony from my child. Therefore, I want to deprive him of his rights, since he is not interested in the child, and instead of at least paying alimony, he reduces it. It is not known what will happen in the future when my child becomes an adult.

Good afternoon If your ex-spouse pays at least part of the child support, then depriving him of parental rights will be very difficult.

Hello! To deprive parental rights, grounds established by law are required. If there is arrears in child support, then you can file a lawsuit for deprivation of parental rights.

Yes, you are stating everything correctly: in old age, he can apply for alimony for his child; it is very difficult to deprive his rights; he is not a drunk, not a drug addict; go to guardianship, they will help

Merry Christmas! I want to deprive my ex-husband of my family. right We have a child, but he also has children from other marriages. Is it possible to deprive him of his rights only to mine and will it be difficult? He pays alimony of 1 ton per month and does not participate in the child’s life.

Hello! Is there any alimony debt or not? If there is no child support debt, you cannot deprive your parental rights.

Hello. Parental rights can also be deprived of one child. If the child’s father pays at least a ruble (and for you - 1000 rubles), then depriving him of his rights will be very problematic. You need to contact a real lawyer/lawyer and develop a legal position and tactics for its implementation. Then there will be chances. All the best to you and successful resolution of your problems. Happy New Year and Merry Christmas! :245:

If your husband has unaccounted sources of income, then you have the right to file a claim in court to collect alimony from him in a fixed amount. As evidence, you can present in court information about his car. Real estate. If he is married, you can also check whether he acquired joint property with his wife during this marriage. This will also be proof of his unaccounted income.

I want to deprive my family of birth. right We have a child, but he also has children from other marriages. Is it possible to deprive him of his rights only to mine and will it be difficult? He pays alimony of 1 ton per month and does not participate in the child’s life.

In Art. 69 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation establishes a list of grounds, the presence of which makes it possible to initiate the procedure for deprivation of parental rights, namely, parents (one of them) can be deprived of parental rights if they: - evade the duties of parents, including in case of malicious evasion of payment of alimony ; -refuse, without good reason, to take their child from the maternity hospital (ward) or from another medical organization, educational organization, social service organization or similar organizations; - abuse their parental rights; - ill-treating children, including physical or mental violence against them, encroaching on their sexual integrity; - are patients with chronic alcoholism or drug addiction; - have committed an intentional crime against the life or health of their children, another parent of the children, a spouse, including one who is not the parent of the children, or against the life or health of another family member. In Art. 70 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation establishes that deprivation of parental rights is carried out in court. Cases of deprivation of parental rights are considered upon the application of one of the parents or persons replacing them, an application from the prosecutor, as well as upon applications from bodies or organizations charged with protecting the rights of minor children (guardianship and trusteeship authorities, commissions for minors, organizations for orphans and children left without parental care, and others). Cases of deprivation of parental rights are considered with the participation of the prosecutor and the guardianship and trusteeship authority.

I'm married. The husband pays child support to his ex-wife. We have a baby. Can I file for child support for my child against my husband? And do I need to explain anything? (why alimony)

Hello Oksana, yes, you can apply for alimony and you don’t need to explain anything, everything is indicated in the statement of claim when you write it.

Good afternoon. If I understand correctly, you want to collect alimony from him in order to then reduce the alimony for the first child? It is quite possible to reduce alimony, but you need to follow a certain procedure. At the first stage, you must file a claim for the recovery of alimony in the magistrate’s court at the place of your registration or at the place of registration of the child’s father - the choice is only yours. It is enough to attach a copy of the marriage and birth certificates to the statement of claim. State No duty is paid for such cases. And in some cases, you can establish alimony for yourself! Alimony for a spouse is always set in a fixed amount, usually in the amount of the subsistence level in the region. As for child support, as a general rule, child support for one child is set at 1/4 of the father’s total income. However, if the child’s father does not work or receives part of the salary “in an envelope,” then this is the basis for establishing alimony in a fixed amount in the amount of the subsistence level for the child in the region. After collecting alimony in your favor, your husband can file a lawsuit to reduce alimony for the first child. You don’t need to think that it’s enough to download some template from the Internet and a kind judge will immediately reduce alimony. No, it won't happen that way. The claim must be properly substantiated, and if you make a mistake, they will refuse and it will be impossible to correct it. The main thing is to correctly draw up and substantiate such a statement of claim, which will be difficult for you to do on your own, without the help of a lawyer. Contact a lawyer on our website personally or write to him by email. mail (usually it is indicated under the answer), he will help draw up such a statement of claim and give all the necessary explanations, and, if necessary, will provide legal assistance until a court decision is made. The quality of legal assistance and integrity are guaranteed.

Should the husband pay child support to the first child from his ex if we now have a child and he takes out parental leave for himself? If yes, in what size? It doesn't officially work. I study full-time.

Hello! Of course, it should be from all types of income or based on the average monthly salary in the region. The birth of a second child does not deprive him of his responsibilities for supporting the first child!

Yes it should! The obligation to support and raise children is enshrined in the Family Code of the Russian Federation. The percentage of alimony obligations in this situation is equal to 33% of the spouse’s total income.

Hello! Your husband must pay you alimony for the maintenance of your first child until he reaches adulthood. The law provides for the possibility of exemption from paying alimony, but this is possible by decision of the court where the corresponding claim must be filed. The fact that your husband does not work is not an obstacle to collecting alimony from him, which is calculated based on the average monthly salary in Russia. The birth of a second child affects the amount of alimony payable. To change the amount of alimony to be paid, you must apply to the court with a corresponding application.

I receive 25% child support. My ex-husband got married. If they have a child and the current wife files for alimony (in order to simply reduce payments to me), do they need to get a divorce? Or can you file for alimony while still married?! What percentage will they set for her, 25%? And then 33% for two?! Thank you.

Good evening. You don't have to get divorced to file for alimony to your spouse. And it is far from certain that the court will subsequently reduce child support for the first child.

Psychologist's answer:

Zinaida, hello.

I sympathize with you very much, but your story is one of many similar ones (maybe you will feel better knowing that 90 out of 100% of men do this). A young man dates one girl for quite a long time (from 3 to (even) 10 years), then suddenly disappears, and a month later “his common-law wife” finds out that he now has an official wife.
It is not possible (and not necessary) to find out why he did this; in each individual case everything is purely individual.
Every person comes into our lives for some purpose, to give us something and to take something from us. And it happens that the relationship with this person naturally ends, and they need to be let go with gratitude. But we have some expectations, some unjustified hopes. And in light of this, we are hurt, we are hurt because we still love, we are hurt because we were offended. And there are many ways to let it go: how to let a person go free and return energy to yourself. And here it is important to let go of a person at the level of the heart, at the level of emotions.
What can I offer you as part of express self-help?! You need to write him a letter in which you tell him everything: about the pain he caused you and how you are suffering now, about how friends and acquaintances make fun of you, etc. After you write this letter (just write it straight as it is), read this letter several times, and then burn it with the words: “Thank you for being in my life. Now I don’t need you anymore, I’m letting you go.”
You can also do meditation (which also helps) on parting with your loved one. For example, on the Internet there is an online meditation by Margarita Murakhovskaya “Meditation on Forgiveness.”
Zinaida, I understand that this is hard to accept, but don’t be upset. 29 years old is a wonderful age. In Europe, for example, at the age of 30, girls only open their eyes to the opposite world (to the male world) for the purpose of marriage, and before that they enjoy life. In our country they just treat this a little differently; after 25 years, a girl begins to be bullied by society for marriage (this also makes sense, because the main task of humanity is to reproduce, and society is aimed at this process, which is why Russian girls so often face with “public opinion”, especially if a quarter of her life is behind her, and she is still walking around as a girl).
Judging by what you write, your partner was not the most wonderful man in the world, and, to be honest, it is very good that such “happiness” went to someone else and not you. Mentally thank the one who took it from you. Breathe a sigh of relief and start life with a clean slate, especially since it’s spring outside the window.
As the ancient Chinese saying goes: “Live with peace. Spring will come, and the flowers will bloom on their own."

The birth of a child in a family with an ex-husband can cause great stress in a woman’s life. Psychologists are confident that the intensity of such an experience is based on emotional dependence, hatred and envy that she experiences towards her past partner, as well as the inability of such a person to switch to building a new love relationship with another person.

In the article we will discuss the reasons for this behavior, and also consider psychological methods for solving this problem.

Children of her ex-husband: why does a woman worry about them?

From practice, most psychologists know that the birth of a child in the family of a previous partner is a “trigger” for the onset of depression in most women. This happens for the following reasons:

1. You cannot forget your ex-chosen one, and the birth of his child means that you will have to give up “sweet” illusions about his sudden return to you.
2. Envy that your rival managed to trick a man into having a child, which you failed to do.
3. If you had children from a previous marriage, then the birth of a child in your husband’s new family can provoke jealousy, since the man will have to distribute his attention between them, and not always in favor of your children.
4. If you cannot have children for physiological reasons, then the birth of a baby in the family of your ex-husband will be a bitter reminder of your own inferiority.
5. The nostalgia triggered by this event can stir up memories of how you and your ex-husband nursed your first child together, and what difficulties you faced as young parents. You begin to rummage through the past, remembering forgotten emotions and feelings, and this ultimately leads to melancholy and sadness.

From the above, we can conclude that the basis of stress about the birth of a child in the family of a past partner is not so much the fact of the birth of a baby, but rather your inability to abstract yourself from past relationships. Let’s try to figure out what prevents a woman from “turning a blind eye” to the life of the man who left her and finally becoming a happy person.

The basis of stress about the birth of a child in the family of a past partner is the inability to abstract from past relationships

“I can’t forget him”: why your ex-husband does not leave your memory

Psychologists have identified 5 reasons why a woman cannot get rid of memories of past relationships and restore her own peace of mind. These include:

1. Exaggeration of the tragic consequences of separation, which significantly enhances the negative emotional state of the individual. Especially often this manifests itself in the form of obsessive thoughts, expressed in the form of confidence that we are never destined to meet a good person in our life. Psychologists claim that negativism paralyzes an individual’s consciousness, making him vulnerable to depressive disorders and lowering a person’s current self-esteem.
2. Practicing mental “masochism”. Studies have shown that most women who have experienced a breakup blame themselves solely for what happened. However, the correctness of such judgments is not confirmed by anything. Both partners may be to blame, or one of them, or no one at all. People break up, this is not surprising. But fruitlessly fantasizing about how bad you are is harmful to the psyche.
3. Inability to admit that it's over. Some women do not want to admit until the very end that their relationship with their partner has come to an end. Sometimes such imaginary confidence that “the chosen one will return, you just have to wait” can last for many years, poisoning the life of an individual and closing him off from new relationships.
4. Loss of identity. If a woman has been in a long-term relationship with a partner, then after separation she may lose a part of herself. This is expressed in such an existential question as “Who am I without my chosen one?” This is fraught with self-doubt, smoothly flowing into apathy towards life and suicidal thoughts.
5. Lack of desire to admit one's own mistakes. This point is the complete opposite of mental masochism. Such women blame only their partner for everything and in their anger they focus so much on his personality that they can no longer think about anything else. They blame their ex-husband for their bad mood, problems at work and personal life, but they themselves are always right and pure, like angels. However, this does not make them happier or more resistant to psychological disorders.

Studies have shown that most women who have experienced a breakup blame themselves exclusively for what happened.

So, we have discussed the reasons why the birth of a child in the family of an ex-husband causes pain for a woman, as well as why she cannot forget her past partner. Now it's time to figure out how to solve this problem.

Learning to react more calmly to your ex-husband: psychological recommendations

Let's imagine a situation: a woman broke up with her husband a long time ago, but cannot build a relationship with a new man, while she regularly remembers the past, experiencing negative feelings and mental pain, and then cries into her pillow, feeling sorry for herself and hating the whole world. She recently found out that her ex-partner had a child, this caused her a storm of emotions and severe depression. She was unable to go to work and contemplated suicide. What can psychologists advise in this situation?

Analyze the problem

The first step is to carefully analyze the problem that has arisen. To do this, use the “Two Letters” method. Take two pieces of blank paper, on one of them write a story of your love for your partner, where you list all the joyful and negative moments that you encountered during the relationship. At the end, in large letters, indicate “It’s all in the past.” Then tear the leaf into shreds or burn it. On the second sheet of paper, write about the relief you felt while writing your first letter. Save it and re-read it when you again experience regrets about the past.

Learn to get rid of negativity

If you wake up in the morning with your head full of dark thoughts about your ex-husband, then take a cold bath. Let the water wash away negative experiences from you. Then brew yourself a cup of herbal tea with mint or lemon balm and drink it slowly, trying to focus on the positive. Enjoy the sun outside the window, listen to your favorite music, treat yourself to delicious cookies. Such simple actions will effectively eliminate depressive thoughts and inspire confidence in your own abilities.

Eliminate all reminders of your ex-husband

This advice applies both to things that remind you of your past partner and to people who regularly talk about his life. Believe me, such “friends” do not wish you well at all, they only want to charge you with negative energy. Therefore, without regrets, break all ties with them, so that they do not continue to poison your life with colorful stories about the life of your ex-husband with his new wife, about the birth of his child, or his purchase of a new car.

Meet new people

Psychologists are sure that meeting new people is an effective remedy for stress caused by the birth of a child in the family of a former partner. Interesting personalities who will meet in your life will reliably dispel the blues and pessimism that have been haunting you since the breakup. In addition, among them you can find yourself a new chosen one who will forever eradicate in you the desire to delve into the life of your ex-husband.

Find new friends

Meeting new people is an effective stress reliever

Finally, I would like to say that surviving the birth of a child with a former lover is relatively simple, especially if you really want it. Don’t let dark thoughts get the better of you, fight your own memory, a little time will pass and you will again become a happy person, free from the past and focused on a bright future.