Convince that you are right. The main secret of persuasion

Every person periodically faces the need to convince someone to do what is needed. This happens at work, in government agencies, in friendships, love and family relationships. At the same time, people do not fully understand how to persuade their interlocutor to perform the desired action, and therefore they often fail and do not get what they want. To avoid such problems, you need to master special psychological techniques for convincing people, and also be able to find an approach to different personality types, since what is suitable in a conversation with one person is absolutely not suitable for another.

10 Simple Techniques for Convincing People to Do What You Want

When it comes to persuading people, one must be delicate in order to be sure of the final positive result. In this.

Franklin effect - Return of kindness. Good deeds always endear people to each other, even if initially one of them has a negative attitude towards the other. Accordingly, a person who receives a favor is more likely to return the favor. This effect works flawlessly, you just need to be patient and continue to stick to your line.
Ask for more. If you need money, for example, you can ask a friend for an initially inflated amount. The friend will most likely refuse, but the thought will settle in his head, after some time the friend will feel guilty and offer an amount that is less than what was originally asked of him, but close to the one that is really needed. This is how this effect works. However, this technique can be used not only in matters of money. You need to understand the essence - overestimate your needs.
The magic of the interlocutor's name. Almost everyone knows about this trick from Carnegie. But it always works. People love the sound of their own name spoken in dialogue with them. The more often you call a person by name, the more friendly he becomes towards you. If you combine this with a smile, the effect will become stronger and success will be closer.
Flattery. We are talking about justified flattery, otherwise it looks rude and tactless, the person will immediately decide that you need something from him. Understand who you are dealing with and emphasize the positive aspects and qualities of the person. It is also better to understand a person's self-esteem. If it is high enough, then the interlocutor will simply see that you also discerned his essence, and this attracts people to each other. If self-esteem is low, then flattery will not be perceived as intended, and you will lose trust and favor.
Become a “mirror” of your interlocutor. If you want to gain the favor of your interlocutor, then study it, and then carefully repeat them when communicating with the person. Don't overdo it, otherwise it will look like mimicry. If you use this technique unobtrusively, then a person will be pleased to see his manners from the outside. He will decide that you like them, and therefore himself, and will also be imbued with sympathy.
Become an “echo”. In essence, this technique continues the previous one. The interlocutor will be pleased to hear words and phrases he often mentions from another person.
Make requests to tired people. A tired person is more likely to agree to fulfill your request simply because he does not have the extra energy to argue and explain why he does not want to fulfill it. Of course, we are talking about a request, the fulfillment of which will not entail large energy costs. This effect is best used to obtain permission for something.
Don't point out people's mistakes. The interlocutor under any circumstances will not like it if he is pointed out that he has made a mistake. From a psychological point of view, you cannot do this if you do not want to become an enemy for a person, even if he is fundamentally wrong, and you know this for sure. First, agree, and then carefully try to change your opponent’s point of view so that he sees and admits the mistake.
Nod. Nodding is perceived by a person as approval of his words, point of view, he will consider that he likes you, he will be pleased to communicate with you and provide a service.
Learn to listen. It is very important to listen and not pretend to be interested. The artificiality is visible and causes nothing but irritation, mistrust and reluctance to tell anything. And sincere interest will make you, in the eyes of your interlocutor, a person who can be trusted. The ability to empathize is rare, but those who have mastered it are highly valued. Therefore, if you do not have this skill, try to learn it. At first you will have to make an effort to understand someone else's situation, to put yourself in the other person's place, but later, this will happen automatically. If they need something, it is difficult to refuse such people; their opinion is always taken into account.

How to convince different types of interlocutors?

It sounds corny, but all people are different, and they all behave differently in conversations. Therefore, it is important to understand that you should behave differently with each type of interlocutor. We are talking specifically about types, because from the point of view of psychology, people are divided into groups. You can try to study, focusing on the type of temperament (melancholic, phlegmatic, choleric or sanguine). To do this you need to have professional psychological abilities and education. Therefore, it is better for a person who is not deeply immersed in psychology to look at a different classification of types of interlocutors. They are divided into aggressive (attacking), indifferent (inactive), self-confident (inflexible), indecisive (running away). This typology is simpler and more understandable for ordinary people, because almost anyone can easily identify an interlocutor to one of these groups.

Aggressive interlocutors speak as if they are conducting military operations - loudly and harshly, with pressure. You can defeat such people with their own weapons and exert even more pressure, but not everyone can do this. But there are a couple of tips that everyone can use. Imagine yourself in a fortress that cannot be destroyed. This technique is called "detachment". After some time, the aggressor will realize that his attacks are pointless and will be forced to retreat. The second method is to look, without looking away, at a point located above the bridge of the interlocutor’s nose, as if at a target. At first you will have to withstand an increased attack, but then the person will feel discomfort and fear, he will have to give up.

To convince and force indifferent interlocutors to do something you need, you need to constantly pester them with your request. They will understand that it is easier to do what you want than to endure further persuasion, because they don’t care. You can try to interest a person by finding personal interests for him in performing the desired action. Also, indifferent people will make a concession if you build a strong chain of evidence for them that this business will bring useful results in the future.

It is very difficult to convince an interlocutor of something who is completely confident in himself. It is impossible to convince him, persuade him, etc. One of the options that you can resort to is to take it weakly, that is, show the person that you doubt him, in such a situation he can give in and do what you need, proving your wealth.

An indecisive person always doubts and hesitates, and cannot give an exact answer. It will not be possible to persuade and argue with him, because he will initially be against a clear decision. There is an option to pretend to be indecisive and ask for advice, gradually leading you to the right decision and the right action for you.

Indecision, self-doubt, constant fears... All these points require careful study with a specialist, for example, a psychologist-hypnologist

Logic doesn't help prove you're right.

It is impossible to convince most people based on logical constructions. A typical conversation is like this:

Interlocutor 1: Agree that AAA.

Interlocutor 2: Agree.

Interlocutor 1: Agree that BBB follows from AAA.

Interlocutor 2: Agree.

Interlocutor 1: Agree that BBB.

Interlocutor 2: Agree.

Interlocutor 1: Agree that from BBB and BBB follows YYY.

Interlocutor 2: Agree.

Interlocutor 1: You see, we have proven YGG.

Interlocutor 2: No, you deceived me somewhere.

In many cases, people’s conviction of something is not based on logical chains. But certain beliefs are associated with a whole network of actions already taken and words spoken. Changing a belief means admitting that a considerable number of your previous steps were wrong. People generally don’t like to admit their mistakes, and they especially don’t like to do it publicly. It's easier to question the laws of logic.

It is impossible to argue in a dispute

If you want to convince someone, never argue with him. A dispute involves both sides expressing their positions. This is very bad. If a person has formulated and expressed his position, especially publicly, in front of other people, it will be very difficult to move him.

The public dispute stands apart. It could be a TV debate, or it could be an argument between two guys in the company of a lovely girl. The purpose of such a dispute is not at all to convince the opponent, but to make an impression. Then it is also necessary to choose arguments that are understandable and pleasant not to the opponent, but to the audience.

A person must convince himself, and you must help him

The most effective way of persuasion is to bring a person to the desired conclusion, so that he himself decides, and preferably publicly declares, the position you need. Then he will become the most ardent supporter of the idea, he will defend it and justify it more than you.

How to do this? There are two ways. One is honest, the other is not very, but effective.

The honest way is to ask questions, studying the views and dogmas of the interlocutor and gradually approaching the goal. A person must come to the right conclusion himself. This process can be very long. It is not immediately possible to find the basis on which the conviction will be built. Some ideas that seem obvious to you are simply unacceptable to other people. Often you have to make quite a few attempts, at first unsuccessful. If you see that the chosen tactics do not lead where you planned, stop the conversation, think about your questions at your leisure, and find a new path. By conducting such conversations, you will study your interlocutor well, and gradually you will definitely find the right words. This belief is a typical example of a project that requires thinking, planning, execution with periodic monitoring of the result and adjustment of the plan.

The most important thing is not to put pressure on the person. As soon as you see that the conversation is not working out, stop it, go into the shadows and prepare a new conversation. Under no circumstances should you start an argument. It is very important to keep an eye on this. Having lost control, you can very easily provoke your interlocutor to express an opinion opposite to yours, then the whole matter will fail.

Now about the not very honest method. It also requires studying your opponent. He works well with people who like to argue. First of all, you need to find a person in front of whom your opponent wants to show off. Next, involve the opponent in a dispute on an abstract topic in the presence of the found person. When the dispute reaches the desired intensity, express an opinion exactly opposite to the one you want to convince your opponent of. He will instinctively take and express the opposite position. After some time has passed, you need to return to the topic several times so that he again voices his supposed point of view to consolidate his conviction. He is yours, now he is the bearer of the desired idea.

Do I need to convince you?

Do we really want to convince a person? Why do we convince?

We want the person to do something. It is not always the case that in order for a person to do something useful to us, he must be convinced. He may have other motives than the belief that this must be done. There will be an article about this soon. If you are interested, Subscribe to the news so you don't miss out. In addition, a person will never do something that is not typical for him, no matter what steps you take. If he spent Saturdays all his life on the sofa, then you can take him out into the forest for a walk once or twice, but it is very unlikely that he goes there every week. Set realistic goals.

We want to help a person make decisions correctly or we want to bring positions closer together in order to develop joint decisions. This is where you really need to work with beliefs. But if you really want to help a person, then be prepared to approach the problem with an open mind, consider it from different angles, and discuss it. As a result, perhaps you yourself will be convinced and understand that your interlocutor is right. If you are not ready for this from the very beginning, then you do not want to help the person at all, but are asserting yourself. I already wrote about this above.

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It's sad to see how a well-prepared speech is accompanied by indifferent glances and poorly concealed yawns from the audience. And in a friendly company, in a family circle, it would be nice to learn how to convince a person, how to convince loved ones and friends that you are right.

Salespeople, politicians, office employees when communicating with clients and their boss when communicating with employees - everyone needs the art of persuasion.

Speech is the main weapon

Of course, if you have an expressive look, you can try to use it to persuade. But still, the success of someone who is working on how to learn how to convince people lies in correctly constructed and emotionally charged speech.

Quiet speech is subconsciously perceived as the speech of an insecure person. The fast pace of speech tires the listener; he must closely follow the meaning, trying to grasp it. A slow pace, on the contrary, leads to indifference of the audience; listeners are distracted and think about something else.

Secrets of Skillful Persuasion

Experienced speakers and manipulators of human attention know how to learn how to persuade and achieve success. To do this, they use proven techniques:

They influence a person only with those arguments that he is able to perceive.
They do not offer only “bare” facts, but consistently reveal their meaning and significance.
First they respond to the interlocutor’s arguments, and then express their point of view.
They try to detect areas of internal hesitation in the interlocutor and place emphasis there.
They do not reject opposing arguments, but think through counterarguments to them (and leave the strongest argument in reserve).
They give individual statements the form of a rhetorical or neutral question, in such a way that when answering it, the interlocutor perceives the answer as his own opinion.
They refrain from asking questions that will be answered “no”, since the publicly expressed opinion of the interlocutor is already difficult and even useless to attack.

There is another technique that is difficult to explain from the point of view of logical meaning. How to convince your interlocutor that you are right? You need to look at the point located between his eyes and imagine the reaction of your counterpart that is necessary at the moment.

Brevity is the sister of persuasion

Regardless of what is being discussed, a conversation about a problem that concerns the interlocutors goes through the following stages:

Preparation. Here the purpose of the conversation is clarified, initial information about the interlocutor is obtained, and persuasion tactics are considered.
The beginning of a conversation, where negativity on the part of the interlocutor, if any, is neutralized (tightened posture, narrowed eyes, harsh statements) and a mood is set in the interests of the persuader.
Implementation of the topic in the right direction.
Ending the conversation and consolidating the result.

The author of the book “How to Convince Your Interlocutor in 30 Seconds,” Milo Frank, suggests carrying out all these operations in the short time he proposes. He believes that you can hold the attention of your interlocutor only if you manage to keep it within 30 seconds. This is exactly how long information blocks of advertising or news stories on television take.

You need to have a clear goal and know what you need to get from your interlocutor, no matter who he is: a manager at an interview, a salesperson behind a store counter, a boss or a subordinate.
Beforehand, it would be a good idea to collect information about him and find out common ground.
When speaking, it is necessary to take into account the interests and needs of the listener and rely on them.
To attract attention, you need to use bait - an incident from your own life, an anecdote, an original question - anything that will allow you to “pull the blanket over yourself.”

This strategy is likely not suitable for all situations, but only for unpredictable impromptu situations. Attracting attention and expressing your thoughts will be effective if you have the ability to communicate, speak briefly and to the point.

How to Increase Your Persuasion Effectiveness

When working on the problem of how to convince a person, you need to take into account many other factors. These are peculiar psychological moments that improve the atmosphere in which communication takes place:

It is easier to be collected not during hot and humid weather, but on cold, clear days.
Around 19.00, many people become irritable and hot-tempered; it is not easy to convince them of something during this particular time period.
It is advisable to know by name the person who needs to be convinced of something, otherwise he will get the impression that he is not important to his opponent.
At the beginning of the conversation, you need to prompt the interlocutor with several questions to which the person will answer “yes”; this will immediately create a favorable atmosphere, an atmosphere of trust, ease, and a willingness to listen.
The “mirroring” technique, when the persuader takes a pose and copies the gestures of the interlocutor, wins over the person.
An offer to speak up will help you be attentive. If a person is listened to, then in return he will try to listen to the arguments of his counterpart.

Try not to irritate a person with banal jokes, sullenness, tactless statements, rudeness and arrogance. You should not give unsolicited advice or make peremptory remarks. The latter can be interpreted as a call for a quarrel.

When finishing a conversation, you must remember that the last phrases are remembered most firmly. Therefore, they should not be expressionless and unclear. Completing the conversation in a dignified and timely manner will help reinforce the other person’s conviction.

Friends and guests, hello everyone! How are you feeling? It’s not in vain that I ask. Convincing and persuading people works best when you are in a great mood.

Things aren't going well and you want more? In this case, it may be interesting and very useful personal growth training.

Let's get down to business. Let's look at how to learn how to persuade people to achieve certain goals. Ready to learn a few secrets?

How to persuade correctly?

The sequence of actions can be divided into 4 stages:

Gain a person's favor. At a minimum, he should be interested in the dialogue. It will be great if a person starts to trust you.
Identify needs related to your goal. For example, if you are going to persuade a person to buy real estate, then it would be a good idea to find out his wishes on this topic. If you want to persuade your boss to raise your salary, then it will be useful to know what results he is striving for and how you can help with this in order to deservedly receive additional income.
Offer an option that completely suits you and presumably corresponds to the person’s identified wishes.
Competently answer all objections and get what you want.

If you read my past articles, you probably saw similarities with. The “core” of this communication scheme in many cases allows you to correctly and competently convince people to do something.

I’ll say right away that persuading people over the phone is much more difficult, unlike situations where there is eye contact. Emotions, gestures, and facial expressions play a huge role.

The main secret of persuasion

Do you already have your first thoughts about how you can learn how to properly persuade a person to get what you want? In fact, the approach to each person is individual. The ability to persuade comes only with experience. It’s difficult to do without practice; theory alone won’t get you far.

Attention! Now I will “tell” you one cool thing. If you learn to do this, the prospects will become simply enormous.

A person should think that he himself came to the decision you need, without realizing that he was consistently “led” to it.

Let me immediately note that the whole scheme is built on benefits for humans. That is, achieving your goal should benefit him. Therefore, under no circumstances should you lie.

Consider one interesting point. The interlocutor who needs to be convinced to do something may have a hidden need. That is, he really needs something, but no serious thoughts have arisen on this topic yet. The question just needs to be raised, updated and the necessary information correctly presented.

Ways to gain favor

The above 4 steps work when talking on the phone and during a personal meeting. However, when a person sees the interlocutor there are a number of advantages that allow one to achieve greater trust. Do you know how to do this correctly?

Don't argue. Why negativity in its pure form? If you want to convince a person, then emphasize the importance of his opinion and give several reasons that can change him.
Talk about things that are of interest to the other person.
Smile. Of course, only if there is a reason for it.
Use gestures.
Listen carefully.
Choose the right intonation.
Don't be forced.

This is just a short list. Each situation is individual and should be approached accordingly. It just takes practice.

As you can see, learning to win people over is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. It’s just that during a conversation a person should feel significant and heard. How often does this happen in life?

I hope it is now generally clear how you can learn to persuade different people in order to induce them to do something. Remember that in each case the actions may be individual.

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We often wonder how to convince a person? How to convince him that you are right? how to convince him that it will be better this way. Quite often, the positive result of any business directly depends on the ability to convince a person that you are right.

It is a pity that we acquire the ability to persuade people in the process of life, and not from the cradle. Quite difficult convince a person something he doesn't believe in. Therefore, to be more likely to convince, you need to practice more. Before answering the question “How to convince a person?” you need to correctly argue this or that situation.

How to convince a person?

As they like to say: “You cannot force a person to do what he does not want.” Actually it is possible. You just need to try really hard for this.

The skill of persuading a person is useful in all areas of life: at work, at home, in leisure.

A great way to persuade is to tell the truth, looking into the eyes and not gesticulating. Calling him by name will help convince a person. This will endear the interlocutor to you and your requests. After all, everyone likes it when they call you by name. You can use pet names. This skill makes a person like you much more strongly. A person becomes like an “open book” and it is much easier for you to win him over.

How to convince a person that you are right and quit smoking

The best way to persuade is explanation. It is rare that your interlocutor will agree with your solution to a problem only after asking a question. When convincing a person that he is right, that he is wrong, or in quitting drinking, you must explain to him all the positive aspects of the decision made, the negative aspects, and only after that give him the opportunity to choose.

You must understand that before the conversation you do not need to focus on the question: how to convince a person . You need to talk calmly and help him make the right choice. After all, you must also understand that your point of view will not necessarily be correct and best for someone else.

How to convince a person that he is wrong over the phone

It is more difficult to convince over the phone, because you cannot look at the person (which allows you to better win the person over), the interlocutor cannot understand whether you are lying to him or not. The phone changes its voice a little. Therefore, even if you tell the truth, your interlocutor, on the other side of the phone, may think that he is being lied to and will not listen further. But if they trust you, then convincing a person of anything will not be difficult.

Everyone should have the skill of persuasion. After all, how else can you persuade your boss to raise your salary, or how can you force your husband to quit smoking? This opportunity will help you in all your endeavors.

How to convince a person not to drink anything

No matter how much a person is interested in studying this skill, this science will probably never be fully studied. Each time, in response, new blockers of this art are studied. That is, no matter how much you can convince a person, situations will happen when either you will not succeed, or someone will counterattack, and you will simply accept his point of view of some situation.

How to convince a person in 30 seconds

In order to be a master of this matter, you need to practice more, study literature on this topic and try to lie to others as little as possible. And before insisting on your point of view, answer yourself: “Is my position correct?”