When we talk about high self-esteem, some comparison with something standard is necessarily assumed. But psychology is not an exact science. And if so, then it is fair to talk about a person’s adequate or inadequate self-esteem.

It is quite difficult to unambiguously assess human behavior. It is necessary to know all the prerequisites that prompt certain thoughts and actions, which is impossible. The division into “good” and “bad” itself presupposes a value judgment.

It is the duality of perception that makes it difficult to make an objective assessment. For this reason, the object of study in psychology is man. His feelings, thoughts, experiences, behavior. In this context, the level of self-esteem is difficult to overestimate.

High self-esteem is like two sides of the same coin:

Positive side. High self-esteem is faith in yourself, in your strength. Self-respect. Without respecting yourself, it is difficult to learn to respect others. The vast majority of successful people respect themselves and know their strengths and weaknesses. They are well aware of their weaknesses. This knowledge makes them even more resilient in stressful situations and allows them to move further along the path of their improvement.
Negative side. On the other hand, blindly believing in one’s own abilities, a person can quickly lose the adequacy of his perception of reality. A reckless driver or a gambling addict are prominent representatives of people with excessively high self-confidence and faith in luck and success. It is inflated self-esteem and inadequate self-confidence that is the cause of illusions that inevitably collapse, mentally exhausting a person.

Of course, high self-esteem is important for the harmonious development of the individual. There are three levels in how people evaluate themselves:

Understated– prefers to take on tasks that are objectively below his knowledge and abilities. Completes the job much faster than the allotted time.
Overpriced– the tasks that a person traditionally takes on significantly exceed his skills. Constantly fails to complete assigned tasks.
Adequate– a person is likely to choose tasks that most closely match his experience and knowledge.

Speaking about high self-esteem, we mean an adequate level of self-perception, where one’s capabilities and strengths are assessed quite accurately. A person is able to take adequate risks, overcoming which increases internal motivation.

Inflated self-esteem is characterized by constant time pressure, failure to commit, and constant blaming others, but not oneself, for failures. Low self-esteem, on the contrary, is a direct path to self-deprecation. Obviously, high and low self-esteem are inadequate.

Now, to summarize, we can distinguish between the existence of high and inflated self-esteem. Obviously, high self-esteem is good, and inflated self-esteem is bad. Possibly bad for others. But, first of all, for the owner of such an assessment of himself.

It prevents a person from looking at himself honestly and accepting himself as he is. And without this, a person’s inner growth and happiness are impossible.

Signs

A person who evaluates himself objectively has the following traits that distinguish a high level of self-esteem:

respects himself, his inner freedom;
respects the freedom of others;
does not follow generally accepted rules that contradict his understanding of common sense and honesty;
thinks and acts proactively;
ready to help, but not intrusive;
can easily ask for help if needed;
able to set goals for oneself and achieve them;
aware of his strengths and weaknesses, he understands perfectly how to inspire others to achieve achievements;
able to lead people.

A person with high self-esteem immediately stands out among people. His characteristic proactive thinking helps shape himself as a leader. First of all, a leader for yourself, and then for others.

Is it necessary to fight excessive self-confidence?

If it causes unnecessary trouble, then it is necessary. Overconfidence, by definition, involves breaking commitments very often or repeatedly taking excessive risks, which can have serious consequences for many people.

Naturally, sooner or later, the question will arise about adjusting such self-confidence and bringing it to an adequate level. Is this possible?

The question is who is subject to the consequences of overconfidence. If a person with high self-esteem suffers from this, then it is quite possible to lower the level to an adequate level. Moreover, he has a desire for this.

Analyze every failure regarding the “culprits”. Every time there is a great temptation to “appoint” someone responsible for mistakes. Assess your personal contribution to failure.
Write down your pros and cons on a piece of paper in two columns.. Examine each plus carefully and critically. Perhaps he is greatly exaggerated.
Critically analyze your strengths for actual availability. It may turn out that a number of qualities considered to be strong are not actually strong. Moreover, they can be a rude and aggressive manifestation of weaknesses.
Get ready to face yourself. According to Carl Gustav Jung, such a meeting is the most important for each of us. At the same time, we fear it most of all. A certain amount of courage is required.

Often, high self-esteem is dressed up as low self-esteem. A striking example of the manifestation of false low self-esteem: a man complains that beautiful women do not pay attention to him.

The position of the victim, often going along with high self-esteem, gives it the appearance of low self-esteem. A person with truly low self-esteem would not even think that he is worthy of the attention of beautiful girls.

How to raise adequate self-esteem in a child

In raising children, the first five years of life are the most important. The foundation is laid for the ability to independently correct one’s behavior in adulthood.

Before continuing our discussion about raising adequate self-esteem in a teenager, it is worth thinking about the etymology of the word “self-esteem.” Parents are well aware of the importance of children's healthy self-esteem, but too often they do the opposite.

Self-esteem means an independent assessment of your actions and their consequences. And mothers and fathers are too hasty to give their assessment of the actions of their son or daughter, which has a detrimental effect on the healthy development of the child’s psyche. Truly, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Let your child alone reap the fruits of your decisions and actions. Of course, as long as there is no threat to life or risk of serious material costs. The result is that the child learns to make decisions independently and take responsibility for his actions and shift them to elders.
If you are annoyed by certain aspects of your behavior children, don’t be silent. Tell your child about this. But under no circumstances judge the action and, especially, the child himself. Talk only about your feelings. “I-message” instead of “you-message”. The result is that the child understands the level of negative consequences of his action without “turning on” defensive reactions.

Just two small and simple rules. But by constantly adhering to them, you will not only help your child develop into a strong personality with adequate reactions, but also build excellent relationships in the family.

Video: Secrets of a happy relationship - high self-esteem

Inflated self-esteem of a person (in psychology) is a human problem associated with an adequate assessment of oneself. There is no clear answer to the question of whether high self-esteem is good or bad. This phenomenon has both positive and negative sides. Self-confidence can be considered a positive characteristic. Bad characteristics: increased level of egoism, overestimation of one’s own strengths and capabilities.

Signs of high self-esteem

Signs of inflated self-esteem are manifested in a person’s behavior. The psychology of how a person evaluates himself directly affects relationships with other people. If overconfidence prevails, problems arise in the communication process. The worst of them is when a person is left completely alone.

Inflated self-esteem has signs:

A person is convinced that he is always right. At the same time, significant arguments can be given in favor of an alternative opinion, but this does not influence the individual in any way.
Confidence in the existence of the only correct point of view - personal. A person denies the existence of an opposing opinion as such. If, due to some circumstances, he still needs to accept someone else’s point of view, he will still consider it incorrect.
Another characteristic of high self-esteem is having the last word. The person is confident that only he can draw conclusions and determine the further course of events.
One of the signs of a self-confident person is the inability to apologize or ask for forgiveness.
With high self-esteem, a person blames others for his troubles. If something doesn't work out, it means other people are to blame. If a person reaches some heights, then this is only his merit.
An individual has the opinion that only he and no one else can bear the title “best”.
A great desire to be the first in everything, not to make mistakes.
Having high self-esteem, a person expresses his point of view even when he is not asked to do so. He believes that others are always interested in his opinion on any issue.
The personal pronoun is often used in speech.
With any failures or mistakes, a feeling of irritability and confusion sets in. A person easily goes off course.
Increasing self-esteem is characterized by a disdainful attitude towards other people's criticism. A different opinion is perceived as disrespect, so you should not pay attention to it.
Failure to soberly consider risks. A self-confident person often takes on complex matters that are fraught with certain dangers.
Fear of looking insecure, weak, helpless.
High level of egoism.
Personal interests and needs always come first.
A person often interrupts his interlocutor because he is used to talking more than listening.
With signs of self-confidence, an individual tends to teach others, even in small things.
Arrogant tone.

Causes of high self-esteem

Most often, high self-esteem is formed at the time of primary socialization. Inflated opinions about oneself occur in the process of parental upbringing, education in preschool educational institutions, and school. A person with high self-esteem at a more mature age is no longer able to break the directions of communication with others that have been established in the mind.

The reasons for high self-esteem lie in the following:

Parental narcissism. The problem begins to arise during the period of raising children. The child does not receive adequate satisfaction of emotional needs, because... parents perceive it and treat it as a way of self-affirmation. Inflated self-esteem compensates for the lack of these positive experiences.
The reason for overestimation of self-esteem may be that the individual is the first or only child in the family. This problem is especially evident in families who have not been able to have a child for a long time.
The problem can be spoilage in childhood. This happens in cases where the parents incorrectly built the “child-adult” relationship: they paid him excessive attention, put his interests first, did not limit the child in anything, satisfied all the whims on demand, no matter what.
Appearance. In some cases, it is common for a person to consider himself better than others because of his own attractiveness. Bright appearance is perceived by a person as a certain advantage over others. More often than not, this behavior is characteristic of women rather than men.
Inflated self-esteem can be formed by teachers. Some teachers single out students on the basis of personal sympathies, high financial and social status of the student’s parents.
No testing of one's own abilities. For example, a child may cope well with the workload at a regular school, but studying at a more prestigious institution would require more effort from him. If an individual never encounters serious challenges along the way, he may begin to attribute to himself the presence of outstanding abilities.
Having a rare natural talent. Such people are often said to be unique, which is why a person has a high opinion of himself.
Financial security. When an individual does not need anything, his self-esteem becomes excessively high.

Individuals who have increased self-confidence often come into conflict with people whose level of self-esteem is much lower than theirs.

The cause of a high level of conceit in each specific case can be determined using psychodiagnostic methods.

Inflated self-esteem in children and adolescents

High self-esteem is formed under the influence of certain factors. Sometimes parents are overzealous in their desire to praise their child, because of this, children develop an incorrect perception of themselves in relation to others.

A high level of self-esteem in children and adolescents is due to:

Narcissism. Many parents believe that there is nothing wrong with constantly praising their teenagers. However, when parents too often focus on the child’s appearance and talents, the latter develops a clear idea that he is unique and has an advantage over others. Thus, teenagers become narcissistic “narcissists.”
No punishment. If parents encourage their child for even the slightest successes, not paying attention to misdeeds, the teenager’s level of self-esteem increases. In case of failures or mistakes, the child looks for the reason on the outside, but not in himself.

To develop healthy self-esteem in a child, it is recommended:

Give teenagers the opportunity to feel protected.
Let the child know that he is loved and accepted in the family, school, etc. Without this identification, a teenager may experience a feeling of loneliness and rejection.
For good, full development, a child must have goals. This way he will be able to direct energy and thoughts in the right direction.
Give the child the opportunity to cope with difficulties on his own. In this way, people develop competence and a sense of their own strength.
Allow yourself to become responsible. Being a teenager isn't easy. At this age, it is important to make it clear to the child that each step leads to certain consequences. This way he will learn to make decisions more consciously and in case of failures he will not look for reasons in others, but will take full responsibility upon himself.
Allow your teenager to be helpful. When a child contributes to a particular activity, he develops the idea that his opinion is also taken into account and matters.
Teach your child to be disciplined. If parents give real assessments, recommendations for action and opportunities to test themselves in a given situation, the child will begin to think, reason, find solutions to problems, and consider the consequences of actions that he may commit. This type of self-reflection is essential for continued growth.
Encourage real merit and achievements.
Give your child the correct understanding of failure. It is important to explain that mistakes are not a reason to fall into despair, but an incentive to improve yourself and your skills.

High level of self-esteem in men

Inflated self-esteem in men is common and is a problem both for the individual himself and for those around him. Such a person is accustomed to exaggerating his merits.

High self-esteem is determined by the following characteristics:

High sense of self-worth.
The man does not pay any attention to criticism, even reasoned criticism. It doesn’t occur to a man that he might not understand something. He is completely confident that he knows everything better than anyone.
A person can afford to mock those who, in his opinion, do not deserve respect.
The need for constant admiration for oneself. If this does not happen, the man becomes despondent.
The desire to be the best everywhere and in everything.
Confidence in your own uniqueness and originality.
A high level of self-esteem does not allow you to feel what compassion is. If you can already do all this, then this feeling is short-lived.
The conviction that everyone around him is jealous.
Demonstration of fictitious achievements in order to increase self-esteem.
Arrogant behavior, vanity, pronounced selfishness.
Mercantile interests. Inflated material demands and desires.
Irritability, anger if someone turns out to be better than him.
Disguising your negative traits and sides.
Commanding tone of communication. Such people often tell others how and what to do.
Inability to accept refusals and failures. If the situation has taken an unpleasant and unexpected turn, the man does not know what to do. He becomes confused and depressed.
Excessive touchiness. A man is easily offended if he does not receive due admiration for his “merits.”
Tendency to swear, scandals. Such men love to take revenge if someone crosses their path.
Excessive narcissism. Self-confident men believe that they are the most attractive, and this gives them the right to be dismissive of the people around them.
The need for complete control. Such men have a great need for power. They like to feel independent. This is how they show their masculine essence. Otherwise, they feel wounded and inferior.
Idealization of yourself, your life.

Inflated self-esteem in men gives rise to such a problem as the constant desire for success and universal love at any cost. After such a man achieves a certain financial position and occupies a high place in society, he considers his ambitions satisfied.

High self-esteem is a psychological problem. It will take a lot of time and effort to solve. People with high self-esteem can turn to a psychologist for help, the main thing is that it is voluntary.

If a person has high self-esteem, he can do the following exercise:

You need to write down 10 main advantages on a piece of paper;
each needs to be assessed according to severity on a scale from 1 to 5;
then you should ask your friends and relatives to do the same;
Then the results obtained are compared and analyzed.

If the estimates are very different, you need to think about why this happened. You should try to determine the real reason for these discrepancies in yourself, your own behavior, and not in other people.

Rules for forming adequate self-esteem

There are several rules for developing good self-esteem:

Awareness plays a significant role on the path of transformation. It is important to soberly assess your external and internal data. To do this, it is recommended to look at yourself from the outside more often. You need to carefully analyze your weaknesses and strengths.
You should learn to respect the opinions of others and appreciate their merits. Many of them can be excellent specialists in their field.
It is recommended that you learn to accept constructive criticism. Resentment is the most wrong reaction in such a situation.
When completing tasks, you need to set high goals, but under no circumstances should you get upset or panic if something goes wrong.
It's important to remember that everyone has flaws.
Self-criticism is a good cure for incorrect self-assessments. It is useful for working on yourself and achieving new results.
It is recommended to become realistic. What is important here is the understanding that a person cannot be perfect always and in everything.
In your activities, you should take into account not only your own satisfaction from the work done, but also the opinions of others.
It is important to allow yourself to make mistakes. Wrong decisions are not a disaster, but only a lesson for the future. You should also remember about personal responsibility for all consequences.
It is not recommended to compare yourself with others, to argue whether the person working next to you is good or bad.

Inflated self-esteem makes a person arrogant, confident that the people around him owe him something. The individual makes inadequate conclusions about himself, overestimating his own importance. Any deviation from adequate self-esteem is a problem for a person. It is always important to soberly assess yourself and your potential.

In the article you will learn:

How to communicate with someone with high self-esteem

Doctor, I have delusions of grandeur

How delusions of grandeur can you have, you pathetic worm?

Is it easy for you to communicate with a person who is sure that he is the best? After all, there are people for whom this is a funny feature. And, for example, in work or business contacts, overwhelming self-esteem can become a serious problem. Therefore, I propose to discuss in what cases andhow to communicate with someone with high self-esteem. But before that, don’t forget to check with a test what kind of self-esteem YOU have. This can be done.

Egomaniacs

If your interlocutor was “rewarded” with a great opinion of himself, know: you need to say “thank you” to his parents. Since they either scolded and beat their child in vain, or over-praised him and in every possible way inspired his exclusivity.

In the first case it works overcompensation– for the purpose of self-defense, the victim puts on a mask of self-confidence. Second case inflated ego possible when the child is the only one in the family or long-awaited.

Self-confidence

Given this, it is not difficult to imagine what kind of adults these children will be.

As Faina Ranevskaya would say: it is very difficult to be a genius among boogers.

The most harmless manifestation: excessive self-confidence. Always and in everything.

As a result, as practice shows, their natural abilities are realized better than those of people with identical potential and normal self-esteem. At the same time, women in communication will emphasize to others their external beauty and talent, and men will brag about their own successes.

It seems like a harmless side effect that you can simply ignore and communicate like everyone else. It turns out that such a profit is useful for life? But imagine such people in a professional environment. Their distorted self-perception misleads others.

The boss, believing the boast, will entrust a responsible project that is beyond the employee’s capabilities. The colleague will have double the workload of correcting the narcissist's mistakes. Partners, seeing the discrepancy between promises and real results, will think about the need for further cooperation.

After us there might be a flood

Another serious pitfall that awaits you in the process of communicating with them: as a result of excessive egoism, you will be taken advantage of. Because your own interests are more important than others, even if they harm you. The feelings of others are not taken into account; such people are often calculating and emotionally cold.

And if talkwith them, criticizing and questioning, then in response you will receive all sorts of attempts to humiliate you and others. This is necessary to maintain your status and high opinion of yourself. Thus, consider the following features when communicating with a person with high self-esteem:

Communication Strategies

I would like to emphasize that if you adequately evaluate yourself, then the behavior of a person with high self-esteem will not affect you in any way, and will even amuse you slightly. You will try not to step on a sore spot, not to provoke, not to get angry or experience other negative emotions. If you need to come to an agreement with such an individual or achieve some results from him, then take into account the following strategies:

Superior-subordinate. If an employee under his command is “star-struck” - he does not pay attention to criticism, does not correct mistakes,listens only to himself, overestimate their abilities, then this is an easy option. There is all the authority and power to put him in his “place”. But without insults or harshness.

It is necessary to criticize the behavior of a careless employee in a reasoned manner, using practical examples, or place him in the environment of real professionals. It will also be a good idea to conduct certification and test assessment.

What should you be prepared for?

Be prepared for the fact that you will always be wrong; the best actions, gifts and lots of attention will be expected from you. They will be demanding of you. To be close to such a person and communicate with him, you must first of all have adequate self-esteem, but not inflated. Then there will be a return, and not a game with only one goal.

Well, that's all. I hope I helped you. Or maybe you also have a couple of useful recommendations? Write and invite friends.

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Self-esteem is a set of a person’s ideas about various properties of his own personality, such as the presence of personal achievements, advantages, disadvantages and their significance, etc. As a rule, these qualities are perceived in relation to or comparison with similar qualities of other people. Inflated personal self-esteem is a mental state characterized by an inadequately positive image of a person about himself.

What is self-esteem?

One of the main properties of a personality is the formation of an individual’s system of ideas about himself, which may include an assessment of one’s own actions, appearance, perception of certain shortcomings and advantages, etc. Such attitudes in their totality perform 3 functions:

personal development. A specific type of self-esteem encourages an individual to improve certain skills. If certain qualities are perceived as highly developed, efforts to develop them are not made. Alternatively, a person considers himself ideal, and therefore completely denies the need for self-improvement;
protective. Assessing relevant personal qualities to a certain extent prevents a person from acting rashly. For example, if he understands that he cannot cope with a certain amount of work, he will not take on such obligations. Also, a set of stable ideas about one’s own qualities prevents personality deformation under the influence of the external environment and the behavior of other people;
regulatory A person makes a significant part of decisions depending on his ideas about himself. Thus, a future profession is selected based on a conditional list of the most developed qualities.

People with high self-esteem have difficulty communicating, and solving everyday problems sometimes takes more energy from them, which can ultimately lead to psycho-emotional exhaustion, neurotic or mental disorder.

Why is high self-esteem dangerous?

A number of studies have shown that many successful businessmen, politicians, and public figures unreasonably positively assess their personal qualities. To a certain extent, the typical model of behavior in such life situations is understandable - while others meticulously examine all aspects of the problem, a person with high self-esteem immediately begins to solve it. However, much more often overestimating one’s own potential leads to negative consequences:

For an individual, there is only one correct point of view - his own. However, even a highly educated person with excellent business acumen often makes mistakes. The risk of failure can be reduced to a minimum only through rational research of the issue;
a person with inflated self-esteem may take on tasks that he will never be able to solve because he does not have the appropriate qualifications, personal qualities or other resources necessary for this. Repeated failure of work projects gradually leads to professional degradation and career destruction;
a person stops taking into account the importance of other people. He shows disdain for others and insults them in various forms. Such behavior inevitably destroys social ties and regularly provokes conflicts;
the individual denies the need for self-improvement (either completely or in relation to certain qualities). In the future, this leads to personal and professional degradation;
any criticism is perceived extremely painfully and provokes retaliatory aggression.

Since most acts of communication by a person with high self-esteem are accompanied by acute conflicts, psycho-emotional exhaustion gradually sets in. This can lead to the development of dangerous diseases, mental and neurotic disorders. At the same time, social connections are destroyed (a person loses friends, a partner, cannot start new relationships), and the individual’s professional qualities degrade.

A person with high self-esteem is always confident in his actions, which can be a help in professional development. On the other hand, often self-confidence has no real basis, so an individual overestimates his capabilities when taking on any business. In any case, the problem of high self-esteem is severe disappointment and even depression that develops when the expected result does not occur.

Manifestations of inflated self-esteem

Depending on the degree of manifestation and accompanying signs, inflated self-esteem may indicate:

individual character traits. In this case, inflated self-esteem does not distort the perception of reality so as to entail too destructive consequences;
narcissistic character accentuation. High self-esteem makes everyday life much more difficult;
narcissistic personality disorder. A person is convinced of his own uniqueness, chosenness, and the presence of outstanding achievements and talents. At the same time, he completely denies the existing rules; all his activities are aimed at seeking the admiration of others. Also in psychiatry, narcissistic injury is identified, which occurs as a result of prolonged communication with a person suffering from narcissistic disorder. She is characterized by the desire to maintain a sense of her own super-importance, but at the same time maintaining the ability to empathize;
manic syndrome, bipolar affective disorder. In addition to inflated self-esteem, the patient experiences an acceleration of thinking (even a race of ideas), an increase in mood, motor and motivational activity.

People with high self-esteem are characterized by the following behavioral traits:

arrogant, arrogant behavior bordering on aggression;
relationships with other people are superficial, empathy almost never arises;
in general, all activities are aimed at maintaining one’s own super-importance - gaining approval from others;
The only purpose of close relationships with other people is self-actualization. This is true even for your own children and partner;
comparing yourself out loud with other people not in favor of the latter, emphasizing your merits against the background of your interlocutors;
self-affirmation at the expense of others;
painful reaction to criticism - crying, screaming, anger.

There are 2 types of phenomena:

adequately inflated self-esteem is more common in adults. As a rule, it is due to real achievements in the professional, social, and family fields. In this case, it becomes a unique form of recognition by the individual of his own merits. Since inflated self-esteem distorts the perception of objective reality, in this case, adjustment of personal attitudes and behavior may be necessary;
Inappropriately inflated self-esteem is observed mainly in children, adolescents and people with a lack of achievements. The source of inflated self-esteem of this type is dissatisfaction with oneself, with one’s own achievements, and the desire to attribute at least some success to oneself. In addition, a child’s high self-esteem is often fueled by parents and grandparents.

Causes of high self-esteem

In the overwhelming majority of cases, self-esteem is formed at the stage of primary socialization - in the process of upbringing by parents, training in preschool educational institutions, school, as a result of the child’s communication with close relatives and peers. Breaking fixed attitudes at a more mature age is usually possible only after mental violence and the experience of a traumatic situation or as a result of the development of an illness, mental or neurotic disorder.

There are a number of factors that contribute to the formation of inflated self-esteem:

parental narcissism. In the process of primary socialization, parents do not adequately satisfy the emotional needs of the child, since he himself is just a means of self-actualization for adults (or one of the parents). In the future, inflated self-esteem becomes a way of compensating for lost positive experiences;
the person is the first or more often the only child in the family;
spoiling in childhood, incorrectly built child-adult relationships, when the attention of adults in the family is focused on the child, his interests come first, and his desires are satisfied upon request, regardless of possible obstacles (parental illness, lack of money);
external data - often people of both sexes consider themselves better than others because of their own attractive appearance;
unreasonably positive attitude of teachers and teachers. Quite often situations arise when teachers single out some of their students because of personal sympathy, the high financial or social status of their parents;
lack of adequate testing of one's own abilities. Thus, if there are personal abilities and good preschool preparation, a child can brilliantly cope with the curriculum of a regular school, while studying at a more prestigious educational institution would require additional effort from him. In the absence of serious tests for a long time, a person may begin to attribute extraordinary abilities to himself.

You can try to identify the causes of high self-esteem in each specific case using psychodiagnostic methods. The results of such an examination play a key role in further correction of attitudes, behavior or treatment of the disorder.

Inflated self-esteem: signs

A person’s high self-esteem is often obvious to others, but he himself rarely perceives it as a problem. An individual with such attitudes sees as the cause of his own failures a negative combination of circumstances, envy and machinations of ill-wishers, lack of proper professional qualities in business partners or work colleagues, etc. A psychologist or psychiatrist can reliably establish the level of self-esteem and, if necessary, prescribe procedures that correct behavior and installations.

To determine self-esteem, the following is carried out:

study of an individual's lifestyle. If a mental or neurotic disorder is suspected, information received from the patient’s relatives is of great importance;
studies based on self-attitude questionnaires;
conversation between a specialist and a patient. It is carried out in a free form, but upon its completion clear answers should be received to questions characterizing the individual’s attitude to various aspects of his own self.

In general, an inflated level of self-esteem is characterized by:

unshakable confidence in one’s own rightness, even in the presence of evidence to the contrary;
the desire to impose one’s opinion on all interlocutors, aggression in case of failure;
recognizing only oneself as an authority;
denial of any rules other than those established by himself;
denial of other people's authority and power;
searching for an “external enemy” responsible for failures. Most often these are parents, the state (not only native, but also foreign), colleagues;
the desire to be in leading roles at any cost, often without making any effort;
“jamming” in conversations, trying to divert the topic to a discussion of one’s own problems;
lack of self-criticism, aggressive perception of criticism from the outside;
perception of help as pity and, therefore, refusal of it;
painful experience of failures up to depression, fear of mistakes.

How to correct an inflated level of self-esteem?

A balanced analysis can show that the main culprit of a person’s failures in life is his inflated self-esteem. A psychologist or psychotherapist will tell you what to do in such a situation. It can be quite difficult to independently cope with an inadequate assessment of yourself and your actions. This requires a lot of self-discipline and self-control, which are often absent in people with high self-esteem. The best results in correcting attitudes and behavior are shown by various methods of cognitive psychotherapy, which in this case are aimed at:

analysis of one’s own behavior and actions. An individual must stop looking for someone to blame for failures, learn to consider each individual case and evaluate his contribution to what happened;
developing the ability to listen to the opinions of others, not to oppose in conversation, to accept other people’s judgments;
calm perception of criticism and development of self-criticism;
developing the ability to accept help, for example, from more successful specialists in the profession;
assessing your capabilities before starting new projects, making calculations, drawing up step-by-step plans;
analysis of one’s own behavior in terms of how it affects others, whether it offends loved ones, or creates obstacles to friendship and romantic attachment;
formation of respect for the feelings and desires of others.

When communicating with a narcissist, some experts recommend not being shy about frankness: saying that he puts himself above others, asking directly what his statements are based on. On the other hand, this approach is quite crude, and a non-specialist may provoke an acute conflict that will exclude the possibility of further therapy.

Correcting children's inflated self-esteem has a number of specific features. They mainly concern changes in the behavior patterns of parents and close relatives (grandparents):

praise should follow any achievement, but not in itself and not for something to which the child did not put effort (for example, appearance);
the interests of the child should not come first unless this concerns his health, development, and nutrition;
There is no need to mitigate the consequences of a child’s actions. He must know the objective result of his actions. If a child intentionally breaks a toy, you should not immediately buy him a new one. Otherwise, the baby does not learn to evaluate his own actions and does not develop the ability to perceive connections between actions and their results.