Shy child. How to get rid of shyness

When a person is too timid and distrustful, gets scared easily, has difficulty communicating, feels awkward in the presence of other people, he is said to be shy. Knowing the Russian language, it is not difficult to understand the origin of this word: Dahl's dictionary says that it is a derivative of the word “zastenitsa”, which means “to shield oneself from others with walls” - taken literally.

In fact, the “walls” that a person psychologically builds around himself separate him from the outside world and other people more reliably than stone walls - for example, fortresses. If you can get out of a fortress or prison with ordinary keys, then finding the keys to a person’s soul is often beyond the power of even specialists - psychologists and psychotherapists.

How shy people behave

Very often they are terribly afraid of the opinions of the people around them: it seems to them that the worst thing in life is not to please other people, to cause their disapproval, ridicule or discontent. This is why a shy person never allows himself to be the center of attention, suppresses spontaneous desires, and does not want to openly express his opinion and defend his rights.

Such people avoid situations in which they need to act and make decisions, communicate and speak openly to others about their values. It is because of this that most shy people do not achieve success in life: they simply cannot bring themselves to meet new people, try to communicate, take advantage of the opportunity offered and start doing something new - they are very afraid of failure.

Why shyness is harmful

When a person is constantly embarrassed and is too concerned about what others will think about his behavior, then this works against him: those around him really cannot adequately assess all the abilities and talents of this person, and he himself loses clarity of thinking. In such a situation, negative feelings quickly appear, anxiety and depression arise - this often happens to shy people.

This problem is much more common than it might seem: according to research, about 80% of people quite often feel shy in different situations, and 40% show shyness almost all the time. This manifests itself in different ways: a person’s pulse quickens, he cannot speak, loses composure, trembles, and lowers his eyes.

Where does shyness come from? Reasons for Shyness

Where does shyness come from? After all, young children are usually very sociable and cheerful: they always love to be the center of attention and are not shy about openly expressing their opinions. Where do timid and shy adults come from?

Scientists, as always, have many theories and assumptions. Some consider shyness to be an innate character trait, while others - behavioral psychologists - are confident that shyness arises as a reaction to negative events that occurred earlier - after all, every person has negative life experiences associated with different life situations. Perhaps a person once failed in communication, or saw someone else having bad luck, and this was enough for the shy behavior to take hold.

Shyness can arise and become entrenched if a person lacks communication skills, worries about how others will judge his actions, and constantly humiliates himself as incapable or even defective. If you constantly tell yourself “I’m shy,” then it will definitely become a habit, and habit, as the classic said, is “second nature.”

Psychoanalysts believe that shyness arises from internal conflicts, and sociologists say that the norms and attitudes of society make people shy. Sometimes it is enough to start talking about a child that he is shy and self-conscious for him to really become like that - usually the parents themselves or kindergarten teachers start talking about this.

When such a child grows up, he constantly compares himself with others, and it always seems to him that he is worse. Of course, this is not true, but when a person becomes an adult, he constantly finds confirmation of this opinion - after all, it is known that we find what we are looking for.

How to get rid of shyness

It is possible to cope with shyness, but first you need to understand the reason for its occurrence. Often a person completely misunderstands the attitude of others towards him: he may think that he is not loved and condemned, and this does not even surprise him - after all, he considers himself worse than others and almost always expects an unfavorable outcome.

What happens in such cases? Of course, most often the worst expectations come true - troubles are simply attracted to such people. People around them begin to say that they are chronic losers, and give them all sorts of negative nicknames that stick to the person like a label, and literally program him for problems in all areas of life. Excessive timidity and shyness have nothing to do with modesty. Everyone knows the expression “modesty is decorative,” and this is indeed true, but here we are talking more about observing the basic rules of politeness, respect for oneself and others, and not about sitting quietly in a corner and pretending that you don’t exist at all .

If a person is timid and reserved all the time, then others may mistake such behavior for arrogance and bad manners. Thus, a person builds a trap for himself, from which he then cannot get out: he is increasingly afraid to express his thoughts and feelings, he closes himself off from other people, depriving himself of the joy of full communication.

It can be very difficult, or even impossible, for shy people to go on stage for a public speech - it seems to them that nothing could be worse in life. They feel hot and cold, shake, their thoughts are confused, and their tongue refuses to speak. For people with this behavior, life can become unbearable and generally turn into a nightmare: constant stress and bad mood lead to chronic diseases, which, in turn, seriously worsen the quality of life and shorten its duration.

To get rid of shyness, learn to communicate with different people, feel free and relaxed in any situation, you need to decide to change your life, and even seek the help of a psychologist, if necessary. In Western countries, many people successfully use the services of psychologists, although in Russia this is still not very accepted, and is sometimes considered “indecent” and even causes ridicule from friends.

First of all, understand that worrying about what other people think of you is stupid and sometimes simply inappropriate: people, as a rule, are most often preoccupied with themselves - after all, every person, like you, cares about how he looks, - and only then turn their attention to those around them. In addition, those whose good attitude you really should earn evaluate people not by external signs, but by their real qualities.

Make it a rule to always think positively – especially when you think about other people. Many people will disagree with you on various issues and will have an opposing point of view - but this does not mean that they will judge you. Learn to communicate, even if you are afraid to approach people and start a conversation. Smile and be friendly, and remember: you are only half responsible for the outcome of the conversation - the other part of the responsibility lies with your interlocutor.

Don't judge yourself harshly - awaken your sense of humor. If you said something wrong, don't beat yourself up - smile, allow yourself to be yourself, and continue talking.

The goals you set for yourself must be real and meaningful to you - otherwise you simply will not want to achieve them. For example, set yourself the goal of learning how to start a conversation, act confidently, and communicate easily even when the person is a complete stranger.

In a difficult situation for you - for example, before a public speaking, try to prepare in advance - practice at home, in front of family members, or even just in front of a mirror - you need it. When speaking in front of an audience, think not about how you look, but about the fact that there are people in front of you for whom your information is vital - and you will do great.

Always dress beautifully and tastefully. If you are currently on a limited budget, then make sure that your clothes are always clean and neat, and add at least one bright detail to it: a tie, scarf, handkerchief, flower or other accessories.

When talking with a person, do not expect him to develop the conversation - develop it yourself, but also listen to the interlocutor - be interested in his opinion and give him sincere compliments, but never flatter.

Some people find that alcohol helps them get rid of shyness, and they use it more and more often. This is unacceptable, and not only because in this way it is easy to become addicted to alcohol - under the influence of alcohol a person becomes not freer, but more cheeky, and can literally “break off the chain” - the very “chain” on which various complexes constantly hold him. After such behavior, when the effects of alcohol wear off, the state of shyness worsens - after all, the person is ashamed of his behavior, and he withdraws into himself even more, trying to distance himself from others.

Try using auto-training and affirmations - positive statements and attitudes: today they talk about this everywhere, and therefore many people consider it frivolous - but it works.

Stop focusing on your failures: remember and realize that only those people who do nothing make no mistakes - this is the truth. Remember not your mistakes and failures, but your victories and successes, although mistakes are given to us in order to extract positive experience from them.

As soon as you begin to feel awkward communicating with others, remember some rights that absolutely every person has: the right to say “no” and not feel guilty about it; the right not to make excuses; the right to evaluate one’s own actions and feelings; the right to make mistakes and be responsible for your mistakes; the right to dislike; the right not to know something; right to independence; the right to make illogical decisions - as long as it does not harm others.

If in any situation you find it difficult to relax, remember the words said by someone famous and great:
"Don't worry about what others think of you; they are too worried about what you think of them."

In a movie theater or at a party, he is afraid to sit in an empty seat, and therefore remains in your arms or holds your hand tightly. If a stranger tries to talk to him, and the child tries to hide behind you.

He will pull you by the hand when you enter the elevator with your neighbors, so that you can then ride alone. When strangers try to talk to him, the child will cover his face with his hands. With increased attention to him at a birthday party or in company, he may burst into tears.

How to liberate shyness?

Of course, if you yourself are shy, or have overcome shyness in adulthood, you may think that you can handle it on your own. But to be safe, it's better to help him. Why? If a shy child gets lost, he will be afraid to turn to people for help. At school, his grades may be lowered, since he will be hesitant to answer due to timidity, and not because he has studied poorly. In the future, he will be embarrassed to take part in a competition, or will miss any other opportunity due to his shyness.

How to get rid of shyness?

Role-playing game. Try to role-play situations from life using toys on different themes: “Let’s make friends”, “Let’s play together”, “In the store”, “In the pharmacy”, “In the sandbox”, “On a walk in the park”, “At the circus”, “ At the cinema." Let the shy child be the buyer, then the seller; play “Kindergarten”, let him depict how the doll will behave in the garden and why; that is, while playing, a child can voice his problems or fears. And you need to react correctly to show that maybe there is no problem here.

Take the initiative. Start a conversation with other children yourself, asking questions that the shy child will ask himself next time. But don’t demonstratively show your frustration, don’t humiliate him with the words “Why can’t you ask yourself?”, “How many times have I told you?”, “Well, how many times can I explain to you?” Repeat as much as necessary, in a calm voice, the child may feel shy in front of you, but he will draw conclusions for himself about what to ask people about, how to conduct a conversation, and will apply this model of behavior without you. Be patient.

Arrange with your friend or neighbors to come visit you with the children, discuss what toys the children will play with. You can show the children the game, play with them, then leave them to play alone. Children will also see behavioral practice if you take them with you to public places. A shy child will see communication, different situations, and how you behave in them. You are the main example and support for him.

Gradually reduce your participation. Come up with situations for him to participate:

- ask the seller how much the cake with roses costs;

- please come to the phone, my hands are wet;

- buy us tickets for the carousel, and I’ll buy us water at the next kiosk. Etc.

Children become braver when they do things for others. But let's do the tasks.

Increase your self-esteem

All children are different. Other children may point out to him some “flaw”: slowness, wears glasses, short, tall compared to peers, afraid to answer, fight back. A shy child may become fixated on a shortcoming and, as a result, a complex will appear.

Therefore, when working with shyness, you work primarily with self-esteem. Observe yourself to see if you are acting awkward with others; maybe a shy child is simply copying you.

You are parents, you are the first people in a child’s life who communicate with him, so how he will communicate directly depends on you and your behavior. How you react to his words, a shy child will think that everyone will react this way, and does not yet understand that all people are different.

What not to do with a shy child

- do not label, especially in the presence of others: “He (s) cannot recite the poem, he is shy”;

- don’t laugh at children’s shortcomings, it humiliates them and creates complexes in them;

- don’t humiliate me by saying - you have an average appearance, so study more, or your fiddle-playing on the violin will give you a headache;

- don’t speak for your child when he can answer himself, maybe he’s just thinking about the answer. If you interrupt him, the child will be sure that no one will listen to him anyway.

What to do to get rid of shyness

- praise children for successes and failures, saying: “Next time it will work out.” They need your support like air;

— encourage children’s hobbies, help them decide on a hobby;

- if your child lacks determination, explain to others that you need more time to prepare or get used to it. A shy child can see for himself when something doesn’t work out for him, don’t focus his attention on it. Better support him with words, show him that you understand him;

- remember similar situations from children's books.

Is it necessary to correct shyness?

You may be hearing different things from others. But not all advice is right for you. Often parents “give up,” thinking, maybe you can’t go against nature, let them remain as they are. Of course, the “golden mean” is important; there is no need to teach him to run and be friends with everyone and chat incessantly. After all, you yourself understand that the number of friends is not as important as the quality. Maybe he has one friend, but a loyal one, someone he trusts, someone he has fun with.

Don't get your hopes up, a shy child shouldn't be held accountable for the things that didn't work out for you in life, and now you're trying to eliminate those mistakes from him. Yes, you are responsible for life, but this is his life, he has the right to be the way he is. The child does not have to become the head of the class or become a participant in all events. Don’t put pressure on his psyche; it takes time, sometimes a lot, to correct yourself. But this is his life. Children themselves can change their behavior in one day. Be more tolerant with your children.

Shyness and its impact on human life. The causes and main signs of this behavior. Current ways to combat shyness.

Contents of the article:

Shyness is an emotional state that makes a person feel discomfort, lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. This feeling is inherent in everyone, but the degree of manifestation is different for everyone. Its formation is influenced by family upbringing and past experiences. Fear of everything new and unfamiliar makes a person withdraw into himself and can lead to mental disorders.

The impact of shyness on a person's life

If a person is tactful, moderately embarrassed, and does not raise his voice, this indicates his good upbringing. But, if you always have a feeling of fear towards everything new, a fear of being in the center of attention and doing something wrong, you need to sound the alarm and look for all sorts of ways to overcome shyness before it’s too late.

A shy person is not always an eternally embarrassed and withdrawn person; he can play a role, wearing a quiet mask in public, and behave aggressively and hostilely with his family. This type of behavior is caused by the inability to express one's opinion in public or to act according to one's own desires, after which he finds relief in family quarrels, and the solution to this attitude lies deep in childhood upbringing. Even in infancy, you need to think about the consequences of parental influence.

Result of shyness:

• Lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities. A person with this quality loses the ability to independently manage his life, follows the lead of those around him, while having his own point of view, but ultimately abandoning it. Such people are unable to get a job (they are afraid of failing the interview and being ridiculed).
• Showing fear of authority and members of the opposite sex. In the presence of strangers, they feel discomfort and suppression, are afraid to take the initiative, do not say what they think, and live by the principle - it is better not to do anything, so as not to be scolded. Basically, such people are closed and practically do not communicate with representatives of other social groups (considering themselves unworthy of their attention). They prefer virtual communication and do not make new live acquaintances.
• Various phobias. Shy people cannot force themselves to behave adequately and think clearly, while being subject to constant fears, which subsequently lead to depression. A shy person in most cases lives his life alone or with his family, never deciding to find a common language with society. Unwanted shyness can lead to global phobias, which in turn overshadow the taste for life with sheer fear of all living things.

The main causes of shyness

Opinions have agreed on the following reasons for shyness; let’s consider each of them:

1. Heredity. If someone in a married couple tends to show shyness, then this trait can be inherited by the child at the genetic level.
2. The influence of education. A child subjected to constant prohibitions, reproaches and humiliation is at risk of becoming insecure with age.
3. Inability to make contact. This reason is due to the fact that basic communication skills have not been formed.
4. Low self-esteem. A person who is constantly criticized and condemned eventually loses faith in himself and his capabilities.
5. Social anxiety. People who are constantly afraid of being rejected, of falling flat on their face.
6. Bad experience. If a person has experienced a mental trauma in the past that shocked him, then isolation and fear of others may subsequently arise.
7. Created stereotypes. A child who is constantly praised is afraid of slipping up and, as a result, remains silent and does not express his point of view.

Important! Shyness is not a disease! An overly shy person does not see his own merits and, because of this, is subject to his own condemnation. But everything can be changed with a little effort.

The main signs of shyness in a person

The following forms of signs of shyness are distinguished:

• External signs: a person is not the first to start a conversation, looks away from the interlocutor, speaks quietly and hesitantly, answers briefly the questions put to him and does not support the dialogue with response stories or questions, looks for an excuse to hide from attention.
• Internal signs: such people know in advance that they are not interesting to others, they constantly feel looks of hostility on themselves, they mentally shame and condemn themselves, they are embarrassed in society and feel helpless and awkward.
• Physiological signs: sweating, tears, shaking hands, redness of the face, fragility in the body, chills in the stomach, rapid heartbeat.

Pay attention! If a person is aggressive, this does not mean that he is self-confident and has high self-esteem. Take a closer look, maybe this is a mask behind which is hidden fear and self-contempt.

Features of getting rid of shyness

Psychologists have developed an up-to-date step-by-step methodology that will tell you in detail how to deal with shyness:

1. Appearance. If a person is shy and always feels a sense of fear, then the stereotype is triggered that he dresses in dark colors that are not conspicuous to others, is unkempt, does not take care of his appearance - after all, he is not interested in this, this is not the main thing in his life. By changing your wardrobe and style, a new look emerges. By emphasizing your attractive areas of the body, changing your usual hairstyle, a feeling of sympathy for yourself arises, which in the future will push the feeling of dislike towards yourself into the background.
2. Getting rid of idols. Creating an ideal for himself, a person mentally compares it with himself, as a result of which he acquires self-doubt and, without noticing it, begins to reproach himself for inconsistency. Convinced of the superiority of another person, there is a desire to completely imitate him, while hiding his own merits and acquiring many complexes. We must remember that there are no ideal people; everyone has both pros and cons. By getting rid of idols, a person throws out from his subconscious the formed complexes that suppressed his own ego.
3. Communication skills. By avoiding communication with others, a person protects himself from knowledge of the world, from friends and acquaintances. The reason for the inability to conduct a dialogue is a small vocabulary, the inability to competently and accurately express the essence of thoughts, the fear of saying something wrong and being ridiculed as a result. This problem can be overcome by reading and using various practical techniques that are aimed at developing the speech apparatus. For example, E. Lapteva “Tutorial on speech development. 1000 Russian tongue twisters for speech development"; D. Carnegie “How to develop self-confidence and influence people when speaking in public” and many others.
4. Blanks. Shy people are afraid to find themselves in unfamiliar situations; to avoid awkward feelings, you need to rehearse your actions in advance. It is advisable to write down on paper some kind of preparation for a given situation and work out the sequence of your gestures, words, facial expressions in front of the mirror, which will help you gain experience, confidence in communicating with people, and subsequently protect you from incidents.
5. Getting rid of muscle tension. All people with shyness feel stiffness in their movements during communication; their fear tries to protect a person from negativity, hiding behind the so-called bodily shell. The clamp created by the body does not allow you to freely express your emotions, while feeling discomfort and muscle spasm. You can get rid of the shell with the help of breathing exercises, which will fill the body with energy, through massage, which will help relax tense muscles.

How to overcome shyness

Many people wonder how to get rid of shyness. First of all, you need to raise your self-esteem, start listening to yourself and relegating the opinions of strangers to the background.

How to get rid of shyness in children

There are a variety of ways to deal with this characteristic of a child:

• It is necessary to reduce the list of prohibitions for him. If a child is forbidden to do everything, he may withdraw into himself, in fear of doing something wrong.
• Introducing children to the need to say hello to passers-by. This method will allow the baby to easily come into contact with people.
• Under no circumstances should you compare your child with someone else, as this can lead to the creation of an unwanted idol and a decrease in self-esteem.
• If your child has done something wrong, do not judge him in the presence of strangers, but talk to him in private, thereby protecting your child from fear of the public in the future.
• Parents should not make excessive demands on their child, because without calculating their capabilities, they can unknowingly do harm.
• By allowing the child to make his own choices in a given situation, parents will allow him to gain a sense of importance and confidence.

How to overcome shyness for women

First of all, you need to make a list of positive qualities (if you can’t complete the task yourself, you can ask a friend or relative to do it). It is advisable to add to the list those qualities that you would like to have. Every morning and evening, peering into the mirror, you need to re-read what you wrote. This method will increase self-esteem and help you realize that not everything is as bad as it seemed.

Secondly, some women have shyness due to old-fashioned upbringing, but when you look around, you need to realize that everything flows and everything changes. Only those who keep up with the times will achieve success.

Thirdly, you need to learn to calmly accept your mistakes. There are no ideal people. Everyone makes mistakes, because only through their mistakes does a person gain experience in the future.

How to get rid of shyness for men

How to overcome male shyness:

• Firstly, many men are shy about women. To overcome this fear, it is necessary to imagine a communication situation and rehearse it using an inanimate object or toy.
• Secondly, you should develop your communication skills, this can be achieved by expanding your vocabulary and gradually using it in practice.
• Thirdly, in order to stop being afraid of a love relationship with a girl, you should first just make friends with her, and during communication the fear itself will dissipate.

When Ali entered the senior group of the kindergarten, her mother, not embarrassed by her daughter’s presence, described her to the teacher as follows:
“She’s awkward with us: no matter what she tries, nothing works out for her!”
The girl blushed deeply and lowered her eyes. In kindergarten, she accidentally broke toys, broke plates while on duty, became shy and withdrawn more and more. It was especially difficult with Alya during physical exercises.
One day we played the outdoor game “Who will take the flag most quickly.” The children willingly completed the task. Only Alya did not move during the game. The teacher could not convince her to run after her flag. Meanwhile, the girl could run and jump.
At the next physical education lesson, the teacher put Alya next to the new girl Olya and whispered to her that Olya was timid and she needed help, since she didn’t know the game well. Alya silently paired up with Olya. She diligently followed the rules of the game and showed the new girl the moves. The teacher praised Alya.
The next day everything went as before. While watering indoor plants, Alya dropped a flower pot and broke it. Again she was somehow constrained, and her eyes seemed to say: “It’s not my fault, you see how awkward I am!”
(M. M. Skudina. Notes of a kindergarten teacher. M., “Enlightenment”, 1965, pp. 217-220.)

1. Why did Ali become shy?
2. What shortcomings may a child develop if this character trait is not overcome in time?
3. How can I help Alya overcome shyness?

Popular site articles from the “Dreams and Magic” section

Shyness is a powerful feeling that arises in a person in the process of communicating with other people, a kind of fear of this communication. A shy person is afraid to make contact, afraid of a hostile attitude, afraid of losing the respect of others and self-respect.

The mental discomfort that arises is probably the most common type of such disorders. The problem of shyness has always been relevant, but in recent decades the world has literally been swept by an epidemic of shyness and embarrassment.

Why does shyness occur?

The reasons for this are quite clear. With the advent of modern means of communication, live communication between people fades into the background. More and more contacts are made through telephone conversations or written speech, and the first case is much more harmless than the second.

Correspondence, any type of messaging does not force a person to adapt to certain social norms, and those in contact, in fact, are not limited by anything. The habit of communicating through correspondence leads to the fact that during personal contact a person begins to experience discomfort caused by an unusual environment. For the most part, the widespread prevalence of shyness today is due to this.

Of course, other mechanisms and reasons for the occurrence of this sensation cannot be ruled out: personality and upbringing characteristics, conditions of contact, etc. Shyness is a manifestation of a defense mechanism; it “protects” the psyche from the prospect of experiencing unpleasant emotions. At the same time, shyness itself is exactly the same “unpleasant emotion.”

What is shyness like?

As you know, shyness can arise as a result of the manifestation of personal characteristics, the specifics of upbringing, or the habit of “blind” communication through correspondence or calls.

Depending on the nature of shyness, its characteristics vary somewhat. For example, shyness associated with a person’s upbringing can be treated quite simply if correction is started in a timely manner. The easiest way for a person to get rid of shyness in an “unusual environment” is to get rid of it on his own rather than with the help of a specialist, but this process is long and complex.

By the same principle, temporary and permanent shyness are distinguished. Temporary shyness may characterize an age period (usually puberty) or a certain situation.

Traditionally, shyness is divided into two more types:

Converted inside(shyness in front of oneself);

Converted outward(shyness in front of others).

It is difficult to judge how legitimate this division is. In a sense, both types of shyness are always directed outward, and only the mechanism of its manifestation differs.

Social manifestations of shyness

There are four classic signs of shyness, the presence of which is mandatory for this feeling. First of all, this refers to the feeling of discomfort in the emotional aspect that arises in a shy person during any contact with other people.

Shy people tend to avoid any public speaking: they perceive this as a need to establish contact with a whole mass of people at the same time. Fear of speaking in public is the second permanent sign of shyness.

The third sign is strict selectivity, selectivity in choosing people with whom you can establish contact. A shy person in any situation will prefer to communicate among acquaintances than among little-known or unknown people, even if they are friendly and friendly towards him.

And finally, the fourth sign is a kind of “locomotion”. It reflects two opposing desires that exist in a person simultaneously (this is not ambivalence, such “locomotion” cannot be considered a pathology).

What does it mean to have two opposing desires?

If contact with a stranger is established in order to solve a problem, the person experiences a desire, or at least a need, to communicate with this person. This is one vector. At the same time, shyness pushes this person away from establishing contact, and this is the second, opposite vector.

Such mental discomfort has social consequences, sometimes quite severe. Shyness has a particularly difficult impact on the psyche of childhood, since without timely correction, a child’s shyness can develop from a temporary age-related shyness into a permanent one.

Shyness that arises in childhood can become the basis for the formation of a schizoid psychotype or even psychopathy. Their treatment is much more difficult than correcting simple shyness.

What can shyness lead to?

Here are its main consequences:

1. Reduced adaptive capabilities of a person: shy people have difficulty navigating the social environment due to limited contacts. Any stressful situation turns out to be extremely difficult and painful for such a person, and resistance to stress is significantly reduced. This can even cause the formation of a number of somatic pathologies (mainly diseases of the cardiovascular system).

2. Social “rigidity”, lack of active citizenship. If we consider this point in more detail, the inaccuracy of this formulation becomes obvious: an active position has no correlation with shyness. The point is only in the ability to express this position: people prone to embarrassment experience certain difficulties in demonstrating their opinion.

4. Social isolation, distance from other people. Such isolation always accompanies shyness and similar conditions, and the degree of isolation is steadily progressing.
In the case of children, shyness slows down or stops mental development and the acquisition of social experience, which is possible only with full, constant contact with others.

5. Isolation resulting from shyness can cause the development of depression, anxiety and accentuation (cycling).

How to get rid of shyness

The question of how to overcome shyness is becoming increasingly relevant due to the widespread prevalence of this condition. The best option, of course, is psychotherapy conducted by a qualified specialist (in some cases, with the use of medications), but this is not always possible.

If a person feels the strength to cope with the shyness that poisons his life on his own, this is very good. Today, many methods have been developed for the “handmade” correction of shyness, and if the intensity of this feeling allows autoneurotraining, it is worth using them. The most important thing that can help get rid of shyness is a comprehensive and thorough analysis of the problem, determining its nature and cause, conditions of occurrence and elimination.

Understanding the cause of shyness is half the battle. After this stage, ways to correct it may vary. What can you do?

First, accept the reasons found and begin to perceive them as the norm. This is a good method if the cause of shyness is subjective, but in all other cases this technique is ineffective.

Secondly, “adopt” the behavioral characteristics of other people who do not suffer from shyness. If such “imitation” becomes a habit and becomes something natural for you, then shyness will no longer be a problem.

Shyness can be overcome

Both the first and second methods are equally complex, but effective. If necessary, a psychotherapist can help you achieve your goal, and he will most likely use the same methods. Undoubtedly, overcoming shyness is quite difficult, but a full life without it is worth it.