Tell me, is life hard for you right now?
If yes, then the next question.
Would you like your life to become easier?
Take your time with your answer. Roll it around in your mouth like good wine. Well, really: what would this “easy life” look like? What would you do?
How would you feel? By whom?
Not very inspiring answer options - if you felt (and considered) yourself lazy, lazy, a freeloader in life.
What would you think about yourself? About the world around us?
What are you - who?
What kind of world is it? Is it too simple? Greenhouse conditions?
Unfortunately, few people manage to live simply and easily.
And those to whom this is given as “starting conditions” - the children of billionaires, very wealthy people - still have to endure this “unbearable lightness of being.”
What's the secret?
And he is!
The first secret. We only value what we have gained through effort.
Even for a baby, first there is an effort - to tense the muscles of the face, mouth, etc. - and only after that the mother’s milk flows.
Breathing after a cozy womb is a huge effort! Incredible!
Make an effort and the thing will become real yours .
As a result, “easy life” = “not my life.”
Are you sure you want one? Where do you not particularly understand what is yours and what is not? What did you really want, and what just “crawled”?
The second secret. I = .
While you are sitting alone, in silence, in comfort, in peace, you don’t have much idea about:
What do you want/don't want,
What do you like/dislike,
What are they capable/not capable of?
What do you enjoy doing, being able to do, or having, and what is unpleasant?
Our boundaries are formed by other people – together with us. This is the norm of life.
Remember the unforgettable: “The freedom of your fist ends where my nose begins”?
This is about a person.
On this border between him and the environment, between him and others, everything happens. Sometimes they try to get into a person’s territory (for example, saying: “You are lazy!”, “You are bad / good”). Sometimes things are taken away. In this case, it is important to understand that it is the Other who perceives the person this way, or decides that “your home is now mine!”
It would be good to protect the property. And this requires work.
Labor again?
Well, yes, how could it be otherwise?
If in the first secret a person can find the answer “who am I”, “what can I do”, then in the second - “is this mine?” “Do I really have the right to do this?”
The third secret. If fresh water does not flow into a reservoir, it becomes overgrown with duckweed.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to stay in one place. It is impossible to receive approximately the same salary for twenty years and feel great. It is human nature
either develop or stagnate
and this is the norm.
Development takes energy, time, and energy.
And with stagnation, energy is released and there is a lot of free time. People start drinking, doing all sorts of nonsense, wasting their time and energy in any way possible.
However, this is the third component of a hard life.
In summary, life is “effort in time” (Proust), and effort is required:
To understand through activity who I am,
To protect what I consider mine
To try new things and make it “yours.”
Are you still surprised that life has become difficult?
The less self-awareness, the simpler and easier it is to live. The more united the society is (in a village, for example, it is maximally united into a single organism, during military operations, in crises, during survival) - the easier it is to live morally. There is no all this “unbearable lightness of being” and constant definition: who am I? what do I want? where am I coming from and where am I going?
And at the same time, the more individual you are, the harder it is for you to live.
Has life become difficult? Congratulations! So you've grown a lot!
how hard it is for me to live (If they asked me if I wanted to be born to live the kind of life that I have lived until now, I would immediately answer - no, no and no again.. The most interesting thing is that in appearance I have everything well, or relatively well, I communicate with people and they are interested in me, but these are not close people, cats are scratching at my soul, because there is not a single soul who understands me in this world, not a single one. I live under. constant pressure of circumstances, no one really cares about me, I have bad nerves, a broken heart, a lot of gray hair in my head and I’m not yet 30.. I don’t want to list all these circumstances, but believe me - if they brought a person to such a state, then everything is serious.. Everything I do in this life is solving a bunch of current problems and issues, and I have long ceased to be happy with anything. You say - develop yourself, read books, communicate, play sports - I do. and the first and second and third and fourth, if I hadn’t done it, I would probably already be living in a mental hospital. I’m really in a trap, I feel like I’m in a cage, I want to run away from this place somewhere very far away, where no one knows me forever, so that someone would just shelter me, feed me, give me a job and not touch any of the people who those around me will never see or remember them. People have done me a lot of harm in this life, I have never wanted or done harm to anyone. And those who loved me (if it was true) made me suffer and cry twice as much as the others. Why do I always find myself among those who make me suffer and not experience happiness? Sometimes it seems to me that someone cursed me, I have always been so unlucky. I tried and am trying to live no matter what, but my broken nerves no longer allow me to swallow all this. I'm scared of what will happen next.. It seems to me that I could literally go crazy, I can no longer cope with the pressure of this life. Several times over the last month I wanted to throw the iron at the mirror at home and break all the dishes, but I overpowered myself and simply remained silent or even answered something quite correct. This gap between my feelings and how I behave scares me. I also look quite decent, even beautiful. I communicate with people in a mannered manner. But in my heart I hate this whole world and people and everything that happens here, if suicide were not a mortal sin, I would have done it a long time ago, since this life for me is a nightmare and every year it gets worse, if If after death a person simply disappeared into nowhere and would not be afraid of posthumous torment, then I would have long ago chosen death, as such it does not scare me, it is much better than living every day with pills for nerves, gorging on them to such an extent that you just walk around like a zombie and don’t perceive anything, I don’t understand why all this happened to me and I’m afraid to think how such a life could end, it would be better if it never began. God looks at me and sees my soul, blackened from suffering, and, probably, is preparing new ones for me, because in my life it has always been like this and nothing will ever change. Amen. Sorry, this was the confession of an unfortunate hidden neurotic who hopes to disappear somewhere by chance soon, otherwise my environment will soon find out about the state of my soul in a colorful form, and it will be a disaster, I really don’t want this
Life is full of varied experiences, often filled with obstacles and difficulties.
And problems, and obstacles, and difficulties exist to overcome them. We passed the line, stepped over it, rose above ourselves and circumstances, and became stronger. This is the meaning of obstacles and trials along the way.
But it happens that you cannot overcome a difficult situation. Day after day, year after year, a person is haunted by the same problems, it seems that he is running in a vicious circle or marking time. And he doesn’t see a way out, doesn’t find the strength to overcome, and has nowhere to get resources for a solution. An unresolved problem consumes the remaining strength, there is no time for joy in life...
In this case, additional strength, resources, and support are needed. And it’s good when there are friends who are ready to listen, support, and help.
But often our friends and relatives are busy with their own problems, and at best they will respond to our difficulties with sympathy - “how difficult it is to live!” This does not solve the problem; on the contrary, it drives the person into a corner. Seeing no way out, not receiving help and support, we become doomed, tired and dragging the burden of problems, in the hope that one day everything will resolve itself.
However, there are laws of nature that operate regardless of whether we know about them or not. Man is a part of living nature; he cannot exist without it and outside its laws.
One of the laws of nature: Nothing is permanent.
Everything that exists in the world changes all the time. The seasons change, plants grow, animals are born and die, a person develops, gains knowledge and experience. Everything is moving. Even stones have their own life, although it is slow in our understanding, but stones are also born, grow, and then collapse.
Hence the second law:
All living things go through stages: birth - growth, development - death. This is the path, this is the movement. Stopping along the way means NOT moving. Non-movement, static does not exist in nature. There are only two ways: either forward - grow, develop, or backward - degrade, die.
If a plant cannot grow (for example, lack of light, moisture or nutrition), it dies. If you don't repair the house, it will collapse. If you don't develop your business, it will begin to decline. If a person does not develop spiritually, he dies spiritually and degrades. A striking example is our elderly. Those of them who continue to live an active life, communicate, do something, learn something new, feel cheerful, happy with life and live much longer. For example, Leo Tolstoy began to study foreign languages in old age. If there is no interest, a person, as they say, survives, then nature does not tolerate static and stopping, such an specimen is not needed by nature, it is quickly destroyed.
Simple conclusion– it is important not to stand still, to move, to develop. Otherwise, there will be a decline, a movement backwards.
How are we used to acting in life? We thought of something, made every effort, and achieved it. Hooray! You can “rest on your laurels.” Yes, for a short period this achievement brings joy, but not for long. Soon it becomes habitual, and there is no other goal! The result is static, which means destruction of what has been achieved.
Let's return to our problems and obstacles.
It would be good: I wanted to, I did it, I was happy. However, there is often a big, insurmountable obstacle standing in the way of “wanted – done.” The higher the goal, the greater the difficulty. We can complain: life is against us. No! This is the law of nature. To have the benefits of the master of the Prite, the lion must achieve the appropriate level of strength and courage. Otherwise, it will be replaced by a competitor.
In order for us to receive a new benefit in life, we must correspond to it. We live up to what we already have. If we don’t, it means we don’t have enough resources to have it. So, in order to reach a new level, we need to overcome an obstacle, solve a problem, go through events, overcoming which will give us those missing resources. We passed the obstacle, became stronger, the new resource corresponds to the new “status”. We studied a new topic, received a higher position, and a higher salary. We survived a breakup, gained new experience, became smarter, met with another person, of a new level or circle. We passed the stage of ruin, gained the strength to overcome the loss, and with new experience we will raise a new business. We have survived a serious illness, new opportunities lie ahead.
In fairness, it should be noted that being sick does not mean finding a new path and new resources. Going broke does not mean immediately becoming a successful businessman. It's about gaining new experiences, a new sense of self, discovering yourself. If no conclusions are drawn, if the consciousness remains the same, then the actions will also remain the same, which means the result will be repeated. You cannot solve a problem the same way that created it. What is really important is internal, spiritual growth, a new vision.
Our spiritual growth is determined by nature as a result of overcoming obstacles and difficulties. Therefore, life continues in the same sequence. A person is born, grows, plans, overcomes, rises to a higher level, plans again, overcomes, rises, and so on.
But due to various circumstances, sometimes we fail to overcome life's obstacles.
The reason for this may be upbringing, the life values of the social stratum, the lack of positive examples in the environment, one’s own bad experience or the experience of previous generations, and much more. One reason is that most of us don't know how to overcome difficulties. Our parents didn’t teach us, there are no positive examples, at school we were taught that we are all the same, and there is no point in breaking out of the general order.
Today, a person who is not familiar with the technologies of success or overcoming obstacles can either go by touch, look for tips in books, on the Internet, or give up and wait to see where the “curve” will take him.
But with today's technologies and established methods, most problems can be solved, as they say, in no time! And people suffer and suffer in their problems not just for years, sometimes it takes their whole life!
I can give you my own story as an example: for many years I was haunted by constant fear, which, as it later turned out, was due to a trivial situation in childhood. In a provincial town, no one knew how to cope with the problem of fear. These circumstances limited me in my actions, in my dreams and plans. And now I feel so sorry for those past years that could have been lived differently if I had known then a way to escape!
Fortunately, effective methods are known today to get rid of negative qualities, develop positive aspects of the personality, become even stronger, even healthier, even more successful, and rise above oneself and the circumstances of life.
I invite you not to “go around in circles” of circumstances, not to lament the difficulties of fate and the impossibility of your desires, but to use effective technologies to overcome life’s obstacles, for spiritual growth, to improve your life!
And in conclusion, I will remind you of the Christian parable “ Just push!».
One day God entrusted his servant with a job. He showed him a huge stone in front of his house and said that the man's task would be to push this stone with all his might. And the man did this day after day, from sunrise to sunset, for many years. His shoulders touched this cold stone, which still did not budge. Every day for many years a person returned home tired, exhausted, feeling as if the day had been wasted.
Satan noticed that this man was showing depression, and decided to do his bit. He planted negative thoughts in the person’s mind: “You’ve been pushing this stone for so long, but it hasn’t even moved. Why are you killing yourself like this? You'll never move it." He convinced the man that his task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged the man from continuing the work God had entrusted to him. “Why bother so much,” the man thought, “I worked so hard, but the result is not visible, I’d better not overwork, I’ll push slowly.”
And this is what the man was going to do, but first he decided to pray and tell the Almighty about his experiences. He said:
My God, I have served you long and hard, I have put all my efforts into fulfilling the task you gave me. Until now, although so much time has passed, I have not moved this stone even half a millimeter. What am I doing wrong? Why can't I do it?
Then God answered with understanding and compassion:
My friend. When I asked you to serve me, you agreed. I told you to push the stone as hard as you could - and you did. I never said I expected you to move him. And now you come to me exhausted, thinking that you have failed me. But is this really true? Look at you. Your shoulders have become strong and toned, your torso and arms have become stronger, and your legs have become more resilient and muscular. Thanks to constant efforts, you have become stronger, and your capabilities today are much greater than those you had before you started working. Yes, you really didn’t move this stone from its place, but most importantly, I expected obedience, faith and trust in me from you. And you did it. And now I’ll move the stone myself.
So, do not be afraid of difficulties, do not think about insoluble and useless situations. Perhaps this is the situation that is preparing you for your new wonderful life! Take action! You don't know how to do it yourself.
Just push!
Raw and boiled or the only way to find out the truth about yourself
Why is a person given external difficult circumstances?
In order for us to change under their influence, for what else! Well, why should we change, you ask?
The answer is simple. The whole point is that only by changing under the influence of external aggressive circumstances can a person discover his true nature. In order for a masterpiece to be born from a block of marble, it must be hewn by a sculptor’s chisel. In order for a lump of shapeless clay to become a beautiful utensil that will adorn a private collection or museum centuries later, this clay must first be mercilessly crushed with the fingers of a potter, a demiurge, and then fired in a hot oven.
“Find yourself” is the goal of a person’s life. Psychology, religion, and philosophy agree with this. Only those who disagree with this at the moment crushed with fingers or stuffed into fire...
I will tell an old parable about how people react differently to difficult circumstances in life. From this parable it turns out that there are only three types of people - according to three types of reactions to the so-called “discomfort”... In any classifications, for some reason, three types are always more than enough - and no more are needed.
However, if you have any thoughts of your own, and you want to argue or continue this metaphorical series, or even rethink it in some other way, then you and I will be able to adequately “complete” this parable. Here she is.
The Parable of the Egg, Carrot and Coffee
One day a young disciple came to the guru and complained to him about his difficulties:
- Teacher, I’m so tired, my life is somehow wrong, hard, hard. It feels like I’m always swimming against the current, so I have almost no more strength... You are wise. Tell me, what should I do?
The Guru, instead of a long, lengthy answer in “words,” performed a strange ritual.
He went to the stove and put three identical pots of water on the fire. The guru threw raw carrots into one pot, an ordinary chicken egg into another, and ground coffee into the third pot....
After some time, the guru took the carrots out of the boiling water. Then - an egg. And then he took beautiful cups and poured aromatic coffee into them, brewed in the third pot.
- What has changed in your opinion? - the guru asked his young disciple.
- The egg and carrots were boiled... Well, the coffee, the coffee just dissolved in the water,” the young man answered.
- This is a correct, but only superficial view of things - this is how most people judge, so they are never happy, the wise guru chuckled.
I will teach you to look at ordinary things and ordinary processes that occur with these things as spiritual metaphors , giving the key to understanding the nature of things - the guru grinned.
Look at the first metaphor
Once upon a time hard The carrots, having been in boiling water, suddenly became soft and pliable.
And here is the second metaphor
Liquid The egg, having been in boiling water, suddenly became hard.
Outwardly, they have hardly changed. However, they - both the carrot and the egg - changed their internal essence under the influence of the same external unfavorable circumstances - boiling water.
Isn't that what we see in people's lives?
Under the influence of adversity, outwardly strong people can become weak and weak...
While some, about whom they said: they are too “fragile and tender” for this life, will only harden and grow stronger in adversity and difficulties...
- “Well, what metaphor does this wonderful coffee represent?” - the student asked his guru.
- ABOUT! Coffee is the most interesting thing!
The third metaphor is coffee
As you can see, our coffee completely dissolved in a new hostile environment and, having dissolved, changed it. Coffee, ground into powder, turned some tasteless boiling water into a magnificent aromatic drink.
There is a third type of people, oh, these are special people!
These people do not change due to difficult circumstances that are aggressively trying to suppress them - no! They themselves will change these circumstances and turn them into something new and beautiful...
***
Who are you? Carrots that have become soft and “cooked”?
Is a hard-boiled egg hardened by fire?
Or coffee, which “created something new and beautiful”, having found itself in difficult circumstances suggested by someone (who was not asked for this)?
You will never know this until you stop seeing only “negative” in difficulties and, as a result, fear and avoid them in every possible way.
Moreover. If it suddenly turns out that you were intended as coffee , but you never had to get into “boiling water”... this is what will happen...
The coffee will expire and will lose its aroma. Such coffee will be thrown away immediately or brewed, but immediately throw away the resulting “stupid”, loudly disappointed in the quality of the resulting drink and the wasted time...
And finally...
Carrot salad with egg...
The fate of a boiled “carrot” is not so sad... It is a real carrot that is no longer destined to become hard after one bath in boiling water. But a person is a completely different matter.
It just so happens that outwardly “strong” people, having found themselves in difficult circumstances and weakened by them, always meet unexpected support and support in the person of those who seemed outwardly “weak” to everyone, but in the face of hardships showed fantastic courage.
For some reason, these people are always unconsciously drawn to each other and always find each other, as if fate were helping them in this... There are many examples that can be given.
Maybe fate decides this way, in order to make the “supposedly strong” less self-confident, and therefore more tolerant and humane, and the “supposedly weak,” on the contrary, more confident in his truly limitless powers?
Elena Nazarenko, Natalia Yakovleva
