Drop everything and go live. A constant desire to leave, or What am I missing where I am? About Vietnam and the decision to travel

All normal people wait for a vacation, plan, then eventually go to some Turkey or Egypt, relax and return back, full of impressions until the next vacation.
You want something else.

I want to go somewhere - it’s not clear where. It seems that this very concept of “leaving” has some deep meaning.

Ordinary trips do not satisfy this hunger. After all, it’s not even a desire to go somewhere, relax with friends at a resort, or change the scenery. This is the desire to break out of the shackles, free yourself, fly away, dissolve and be reborn in another reality as a different person.

I want to go there - I don’t know where

You look at those who give up everything, hide somewhere far away and seem to find the very thing you want so much.

In order to go somewhere, you need to go and buy tickets, negotiate with people, do something, in general, go out into society - and this is exactly what you don’t want! I just want to take it and teleport to another dimension. When will this be possible to do?

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help you understand why such thoughts sometimes overwhelm you.

As the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains, We don’t always clearly feel our desires. After all, almost all of them lie in the plane of the unconscious. And sometimes our desires take on bizarre forms. Thus, the desire for something unknown is characteristic of owners of the sound vector.

His desires do not lie on the plane of the material. The whole inside of a person with a sound vector is aimed at understanding the meaning of current events. After all, looking at the people around, thirsting for fame, money, honor, recognition and even love, a sound person understands that his life is not the same as theirs. Feels like an outcast to some extent.

And then the desire to leave does not mean a direct desire to travel, enjoy the views and new acquaintances, as, for example, in people with a cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors. It is felt as a desire to get rid of the suffering that haunts him due to the feeling of the meaninglessness of what he is among. It seems that somewhere out there, beyond the horizon, there is what he needs, but where exactly and what exactly is unclear.

Because the sound artist does not receive the necessary meanings in everyday life, the mind clings to some idea of ​​moving, which seems to literally be a way out of the state in which he is. They say that somewhere over the horizon there is another life, and perhaps with meaning.

Such a desire, when fixated on it, can fill everything and become a fixed idea.
When they decide to travel, it is the sound people who wander around “Tibet” and Indian ashrams, and this even fills them for a while, but in the end the question about the meaning of life remains open. So what to do?

Reaching a new level of reality

No matter what thoughts overwhelm you, no matter how meaningless your existence may seem, Yuri Burlan’s method of system-vector psychology can help you understand all these phenomena and states and move to a new level of consciousness.

“...EEEh, I wish I could have attended Burlan’s lecture ten years ago, when I, in emigration and loneliness, almost went crazy and didn’t understand what was happening to me!..”
Nelli S., Italy

“...It was a bolt from the blue! Finally, something appeared that helped me begin to distinguish between people, after so many attempts to study psychology, esotericism, NLP, etc. Further - deeper. The falling away of anchors (10 years in exile took its toll), I saw that I was living in the past and not moving forward, ease of communication appeared.

I began to feel little by little this unconscious that lives with us and which Yuri so often mentions in his lectures. Life has become easier!..”

I have an online friend whose life I have been following on social networks for a little over two years. A sweet, smart and versatile girl, she runs a blog and does odd jobs. I recently decided to enroll in a master's program. In Europe. In a specialty that, for many reasons, will not help you get a good job. It seems to me that she herself understands everything perfectly, because she talks about it as an opportunity to learn new things and expand her horizons, and not as preparation for the future. Everything is fine, because she has the opportunity to lead such a free lifestyle. She sees no problem in being one of those people who is always on the go, studies simply for the sake of gaining new knowledge and loves long conversations over a good dinner.

A friend of mine has a quite wealthy family, so she can count, if not on full maintenance, then at least on support sufficient for a serene life. In the genetic lottery, this girl drew a lucky ticket, and there is no point in reproaching her for having the freedom given by birthright.

But what is worth reproaching is the attitude towards your capabilities. And not only this - one idea is very popular among young people who do not need to worry about creating financial well-being. Yes, we are talking about necessity. Moving around the world is now considered almost a moral duty, obliging us to forget about trivialities like money. A friend of mine posts beautiful photos with superficial inspirational quotes: “Drop everything and hit the road, quit the job you hate and enjoy the beauty of the world while you are young and free.” It's ambition porn, teasing the viewer with images of a life they'll never have and making them feel like a failure.

For members of the wealthy classes, travel became a way to praise themselves for doing something that, strictly speaking, anyone with money could do.

A trip for the sake of a trip is not an achievement; the fact of its completion does not at all guarantee that you will become more educated or sensitive people.

Anyone who has the privilege (yes, the privilege) of actively traveling around the world in his youth is no better than the rest. He is no wiser or more worthy than his peer, forced to stay at home and work hard for the hope of someday getting a job that a traveler would take for granted. This is a competition of wealth and opportunity, where advice not to worry about money only adds salt to the wounds of the obvious loser.

I could afford to visit different countries, and even though I earned money on my own, this was still a direct result of a number of privileges. My family belongs to the middle class, so there was no need to worry about providing financial support to my loved ones. On the contrary, in case of difficulties they would come to the rescue. Millions of people don’t even have this; travel is simply not available to them - too little money and too much responsibility. Therefore, I am eternally grateful even for my modest trips.

I understand (partly thanks to the experience of traveling around the world) that the presence or absence of the opportunity to travel says absolutely nothing about a person. Some people just have more obligations and less income.

Someone is forced to endure a job they don’t like because they need to take care of their family, someone pays for their education themselves, someone is moving step by step towards financial freedom. This does not mean that they are less willing to learn new things than avid travelers.

They cannot go on wanderings at the call of the soul, but they develop and learn in the conditions that life offers them. They learn to work hard, postpone gratification until later, and little by little make themselves better. Yes, this is not a hitchhiking trip through Eastern Europe, but who can say that such a life builds character worse?

“Don't worry about money”, “Drop everything and follow your dreams” - such encouraging maxims reveal a deep misunderstanding of the meaning of the word “worry”. An indulgent traveler means not to take too much space in your life. It seems to him that you pettyly preferred an extra dollar to an incredibly important experience. But the reality of worrying about money is realizing that you have no choice but to make it your priority. If you don't work or want to spend thousands on a trip to Southeast Asia to find your true self, you'll end up on the streets. If anyone thinks that most people actually have a choice in this matter, they are being offensively naive.

Each of us is forced to independently pave the way to the notorious financial independence. Perhaps you are lucky: you travel, do what you want, and try everything new, because you know: if something happens, your loved ones will help and support. There is no reason to feel ashamed or guilty, except because such a lifestyle is unproductive and futile.

But the one who considers his own path to be the only true way to achieve enlightenment and inspires others to behave the same way is a real scoundrel.

Most inspirational quotes are only suitable for the lucky few who have all their basic needs met. And if you need money, God forbid you follow these tips. It’s very interesting to wander around South America and get another education for fun, but what will be left in the end? A souvenir keychain and an even bigger mess in life.

The mood of “it’s time to leave” – from work, from the country, from the boss, from everyday life, etc. – occurs in a person from approximately 35 to 42 years of age. Plus or minus the middle of life, the very feeling of mid-life varies from person to person. Our expert, practicing psychotherapist and writer Tatyana Ogneva-Salvoni tells us why this happens.

“What is it,” says a friend-editor indignantly, “there is only talk around: throw off all the “shoulds” and live as you want. Quit a job you don't like and look for a job you love, for example. And she is the favorite of two percent, the rest are serving their allotted time. Now, if all 98% quit their unloved job, what will happen? Or is it – “Do you feel like love is gone? Leave your unloved husband/wife and look for your loved one.” But when they got married, there was love! Maybe it’s less expensive to remember that love, it was based on something. I don’t know, I don’t know... What kind of new vector is this - to abandon something that has been built for years in order to embark on some kind of search with an emphasis on youthful maximalism?

But it's not new. It is simply rediscovered by those who have reached a certain age.

Psychoanalysts suggest that in the middle of life a person directly faces the fear of death. That is, somewhere there, on the periphery of consciousness (and there are such craftsmen who use their whole brain), he suddenly realizes that half of his life has passed. Even in the best case, God forbid half - and it's a comedy. And this is where defense mechanisms come into play. One of them, the most glib, is to urgently create the illusion that you are still young, there is no smell of death even close. The race for youth, for good shape, for plastic surgeons and fashionable things with a hint of belonging to the youth begins. Many suddenly discover: “I’m still okay, I’m perfectly preserved, and we’ll still fight!”

The next stage is the desire to change the situation. Because what is youth? Drive, adrenaline, new sensations, freedom of choice. When you have a loan, a boss, a husband, wife, children with obligations and a couple of decades filled with mistakes that are better to forget about, you inevitably remember that you are no longer young, no matter how well preserved. And even when there is none of the above, except work in an office with illusory prospects, you especially yearn for some unknown beaches with palm trees, where you can shake yourself up and shed the weight of years.

One family decided to change everything, go to a Spanish island, get paradise during their lifetime, otherwise they’ve had enough. Inhale youth with every fiber of your soul along with the sea air in the morning. They sold everything – the dacha, the apartment, the company. We left, hung a “downshifters” sign on our chests and settled down on a Spanish beach. They even opened some kind of shop, some kind of dream business, but in general they were still eating away the money from their past life. They got tired of it after about a year. After two more, they sold the shop and the Spanish villa, returned to their native land, all at once older. The head of the family wrote a sad story from this experience that sometimes dreams must remain dreams. And that if there is no peace in the soul from the very beginning, then you will not find it anywhere, no matter how colorful the palm trees rustle against the background of the sunset. And his conclusion was this: first, peace, and then go wherever you want.

Perhaps, judging by the beautiful pictures on Facebook, many people who have happily settled on different shores of the world and left their countries did just that (this phenomenon is characteristic not only of Russian people, but in general of people all over the world).

You're happy with everything in Italy, right? - asks our Italian friend.

I nod, because well, yes, well, I’m happy, why get mad about the fat? In addition, for a long time I have been trying to live by the principle “it’s good where I am.” Do not depend on the place, on the people, on politics, circumstances and someone’s opinion, on anything at all. I try so that nothing can shake my inner peace. But homeland is homeland. Longing for her, nostalgia for all these, I apologize, birch trees, Russian speech, domes of churches, some special Russian and unpredictable structure of the soul - this cannot be canceled. It didn’t hit me right away, maybe in the fifth or sixth year. Just when I turned 35. I wanted to somehow give up everything and run somewhere, search, build again. Only - oops! There was an error. Everything was abandoned and rebuilt on another site several years earlier.

There is another version, from another psychological theory, why in the middle of life one is so drawn to some kind of happiness, to some kind of present, to a loved one. And they are even ready to believe in any illusion if it gives a feeling of stable sincerity of what is happening. Around the middle of life, the “children’s” resource runs out. This means this: somewhere up to the age of 30-35 (some people manage to reach 40), a person internally relies on all the good things and on the experience of dealing with the bad things that happened in childhood. If his parents are alive, he still feels a little like a child; internally there is some kind of “roof” in case of emergency. In the middle of life, a reassessment of values ​​and resources occurs; a lot of things have accumulated over the years, which the “children’s” resource can no longer withstand and cannot cover. We need to find new supports. Therefore, a person is looking for global changes. And now he only needs the present, because only it will withstand his adult “psychological weight.” Therefore, at this age, a new conscious choice of path occurs, now more balanced.

There are several other theories that explain the midlife crisis. I think each of them is right. For some, the fear of death has really become fully involved, while others choose a new resource. And some – everything taken together and something third, unknown to psychologists. There must always be something unknown, right? Otherwise, what's the point of living?

I didn’t touch the blog for a week, I wanted to give up everything, especially since I was leaving for 3 days. But then I realized that I was using my trip as an excuse not to write anything. I began to analyze. What is happening, why do we often experience such a feeling - “and burn it all with a blue flame!” And this is what happened.

3 reasons why you want to quit everything

1. Hanging out with people who disapprove of you

When you are focused on achieving some result, you are burning with some idea, you are starting a new project, a new business, a new activity, you feel wings behind your back. And so you begin to communicate about this topic with friends, with loved ones, with parents. And someone supports you, says “come on, it’s a normal idea, everything will be great,” etc. How do you feel? Well, of course, even more enthusiasm. And when you suddenly hear “Well, what are you thinking again? Did you fall off the stove? There are a million people like you, and you think they’re waiting for you there?” and stuff like that. Naturally, we feel somehow defeated, and even awkward. Especially if a loved one speaks out of love for us, because he “wishes us well.” You know, I had similar cases in my life, and every time I received a negative assessment from loved ones, I lost a little interest in the new business, and in the end, it came to naught. Then, when I tracked this, I learned to resist it. I immediately figure out who I can tell about myself and my ideas and plans, and who I shouldn’t. My naivety faded with age. In addition, I learned to fight back such conversations.

2. Spray

Life is very diverse (fresh thought, haha))). Suppose I set a goal for myself - to get my body in order, and for this I decided to take up dancing. I made a plan to achieve my goal. I wrote how to do this here. But in life, of course, there are other things to do. And then, if you don’t follow the plan, but do it once in a while, sputtering occurs. It’s the same as putting a water divider on a hose, from where a stream of water comes out, and the water pressure is not at all the same, nor is the range. Now we are already busy with dozens of other things, but we do not achieve our goal, and then we feel remorse. This is why writing plans is so important. A plan helps you concentrate your efforts and not get scattered.

3. The habit of living like everyone else

It's like driving in a deep rut on a road that has already been traveled by others to such an extent that it is impossible to pull out to the side of the road and take another road. We are used to working for hire, it is terribly convenient and safe. Go to work from 9 to 18, do what is written in your job description, get paid, not very much, but enough to live on, and that’s it. We also often follow stereotypes such as “everyone has a dacha, and we need it”, “everyone goes on vacation to Turkey and we will go too”, “everyone wants to buy children’s roller skates in Viev and we will buy it”, etc. We often live following other people's goals, and thus, living a life that is not our own. What could be more terrible than this? And it often happens that when we set global goals for ourselves, it becomes impossible for us to follow the usual path, and we are faced with a choice - “to be or not to be?” . Getting out of our comfort zone is both scary and necessary if we want to achieve something in life. So let's follow these 3 rules and we will not go astray from the path that leads us to our goal.

1. Connect with people who support us
2. Have a clear program to achieve the goal
3. Break stereotypes of thinking, get out of your comfort zone, get out of a rut.

And if you still succumb to this “give up everything”, then just notice it, get back on your path, do at least something to achieve your goal, and you will see that you feel better

Naturally, there are quite a few disadvantages in moving to a village for permanent residence, but we will talk about the advantages that are so great that they can cover all the disadvantages.

1. Housing
Buy a decent house 150 km away. from the Moscow Ring Road you can get it for 2-3 million rubles. And a one-room apartment on the outskirts of Moscow costs 5-6 million (prices for 2015). By buying a house, you will provide yourself with housing until you grow old. And in the one-room apartment, you will have to change it to a larger apartment after the birth of your first child.
With the money you save, you can buy several cars, for yourself and your other half. In this case, there will even be a few million left.
So what will you choose? A cramped one-room apartment on the outskirts of Moscow or your own house with a plot and a private car park?

2. Health
You can improve your health in the village at every step. The sound of tree leaves soothes, fresh air heals and cleanses the lungs, walks in the forest relieve stress, depression and chronic fatigue.
A large city puts pressure on a person; its conditions contribute to the constant production of adrenaline. Thanks to this, many people experience a feeling of the speed of life, of constant “movement”. Constantly living in this mode guarantees you health problems.

3. No neighbors, no one bothers you
When your neighbors have children, it can be very annoying. Either they stomp heavily, then they scream at night, or they run around early in the morning. The same thing happens when neighbors do renovations. This is because the walls are thin, you can hear everything. Like it or not, you live as one big family. And everyone has to endure it.

4. Food
Nowadays it will not surprise anyone that products from stores are of dubious quality. You can be indignant about this as much as you like, but, alas, nothing can be done about it yet. But you can protect yourself and your family from the tricks of unscrupulous manufacturers. By growing vegetables, berries and herbs yourself, you will learn the true meaning of the phrase “environmentally friendly product”

5. Peace and tranquility
This is, of course, the main reason why you want to move to the countryside. The sleep here is sound and deep, which is facilitated not only by the fresh country air, but also by the undisturbed silence. And in general, this noise here is so exceptional that a rare tractor evokes only pleasant emotions.

6. The ability to gather friends around a large table
Absolutely all the conditions to have a great time with friends or relatives - right in your home. What can replace a barbecue in the fresh air to the sounds of a guitar? This is what will best brighten up a quiet summer evening. Other excellent ways to spend time, unfamiliar to city residents, include relaxing in your own bathhouse and swimming in a lake nearby.

7. No urgent need for money
Living in a village, you can provide yourself with all the necessary food all year round, with the exception of some products. You can earn this by selling surplus from your backyard (eggs, vegetables, etc.)

8. You can step away from politics
In the city, the actions of the authorities are better manifested than in the countryside. In the village, no one simply cares about a person; he lives the way he wants. Of course, without fanaticism - without breaking the laws. In the village there is no such strict control by the authorities as in the city.

9. Expanse for active recreation lovers
There are many more opportunities and places for sports in the village. For example, in winter you won’t need to load your car with equipment and drive hundreds of kilometers to ski in a pine forest. And you can skate on the frozen pond, completely free of charge and without waiting for your session, as happens in the city.

10. Aesthetics
I think there should be no controversy regarding this point. The aesthetics of the wild can in no way compare to the aesthetics of the city. These gray concrete houses, slush, dirt - only evoke negative emotions in a person. Whether it’s a beautiful forest, majestic mountains, murmuring rivers, spreading meadows.