Most people dream of finding their soul mate. This is the law of nature, and it is impossible to resist it. But in order to find exactly what is right for you, people must meet and communicate. This is what dating was invented for.
You have been invited on a date. What is usually a person's first reaction? That's right - excitement. What to wear, how to look, what to talk about, how not to look stupid and how to show only the good side of yourself? We quickly grab our heads, panic for five minutes (to relieve stress), and quickly calm down and draw up an action plan.
Preparing for a date.
The first and very important rule is a clean head and a clean body. If you want to feel confident, then be sure to take a shower. Accuracy is 30% of future success. Don't overdo it with perfume. The abundance of perfume usually causes the exact opposite effect - it does not attract, but repels.
The second rule is that on a date, don’t talk only about yourself. Of course, you want to show your importance in society, but a date is not the place for this. Tested by many.
The third rule that really works is to be sincere with your counterpart. Template smiles, standard phrases - and your interlocutor will quickly “self-destruct.” But you don’t want to achieve such a reaction, do you?
Nothing attracts a person more than a sincere kind smile, honesty and interest in the further development of relationships. Even if you don’t plan to continue your romantic relationship, you can find a good friend, a reliable comrade.
Where is the best place to have a date?
Everyone has their own idea of the perfect date. Someone dreams of a good restaurant, someone dreams of rose petals that strew the floor. Some people think the park is ideal, others want to go to the movies. Some people want to receive a basket of flowers, while others enjoy a cheeseburger at McDonald's.
And each of all these people will be right! A great date can be different. The main thing is that people have fun together and their feelings are sincere.
It doesn't matter in what setting you decide to spend your ideal date - on the carousel or at La Scala. Relax, smile sincerely and enjoy communicating with your companion. Don't be afraid to seem stupid, don't be nervous. Self-confident, calm people usually attract attention and admiration.
Have you read and accepted these rules? Great. Go on your ideal date with peace of mind and remember – you are the one who dictates the rules of the date.
Every girl, growing up, begins to dream about a romantic relationship, first kisses, trembling in her chest... She also thinks about a date as an invariable attribute of the relationship between a man and a woman, often imagining what it should ideally be like. And even though a girl's dreams sometimes vary, some elements remain the same. They come from the depths of women's instincts and
So, what is an ideal date from a girl's point of view?
A romantic meeting, a fleeting smile, a casual walk, an old quiet cafe, common themes, flowers, hand in hand, a jacket thrown over the shoulders, a night walk under flickering lanterns, and a long unforgettable kiss at the entrance... Isn’t it a familiar picture? Girls fantasize, and guys have to bring this scenario to life. And it often depends on a carefully thought-out plan whether there will be a further relationship or not.
Therefore, we will understand everything in order.
Date place
Women and girls are very attentive to details, so choosing a meeting place , and especially the first date, is very important. It would be better if it were something special, not ordinary and trivial, but at the same time not frightening with its consequences. On the first date, a girl makes her first impression of a guy and is often not in the mood to add extreme sports to herself.
There is a common belief that are worried only guys asking a girl out on a date. Like, why should a girl worry, just evaluate yourself and give a verdict! Of course, this is not true; people of both sexes can be modest and shy. And we should not forget that the girl would also like to have a favorable impression of her, which means that she will also think about her words, look for the right expressions, delve into the details, turn with a beautiful profile... And if not, then 10 against 1, that she didn’t like you at first sight and now she doesn’t care about your future relationship.
Date place it should be moderately secluded so that there is an opportunity to talk without interference, but obviously not in a closed apartment. Noisy parties may be the beginning, but not the main course. It’s better, if originality is a problem at the moment, to choose a classic - a quiet cafe with dim lights, perhaps instrumental music. And as sad as it is for some men, it’s worth winning over a girl with the offered snack. Since ancient times, it has developed that a man hunts a mammoth in order to later bring a woman to him. And prove by deed that he is a glorious hunter and is able to provide food for his potential half. All this does not rise to the level of consciousness, but a woman, even if she does not want to eat, will instinctively feel the reliability of a man - the breadwinner. This guy will easily add a point in his favor.
Attributes - dance, flowers, chocolate, champagne
All things taken in themselves are quite pleasant and speak well about the guy’s attitude. But, if you, a young man, dump all this “sweet candy” at once and in one fell swoop, then the girl may begin to feel obligated. Obliged to take reciprocal steps. Which of us wants to be in debt? That's right, no one, not even a girl, would want it either. I will not take the extreme case when the girl, unfortunately, turned out to be from the breed of predators and consumers of all kinds of goods (a man, too, with some stretch, can be called a commodity)
And individually, all these chips work great.
Dance - promotes rapprochement and actualization of the feminine and masculine principles. When there's only a couple of centimeters between a guy and a girl, it's hard not to feel the sexual urge. I read somewhere: slow dance is a vertical model of horizontal desire. In dance, a woman, and to a slightly lesser extent, slowly gets used to new feelings, sensations, new emotions, a new smell. And the girl decides whether she is attracted to you or... not.
Flowers are important most of all for their symbolism. And 1, 3, 5 flowers are enough. No more. Not every girl will like carrying around a whole bouquet for several hours. By the way, in the case of flowers, there may be differences in the ratio of rationality - romance among your young lady. Yes, and there are also girls from the environmentalist or green party.
Chocolate - It's hard to find a girl indifferent to chocolate. This is partly due to the presence of chemicals in this product that allow us to produce our own hormones of happiness - endorphins, and partly due to the fact that chocolate and sweets have been associated with celebration, joy, and care since childhood.
Champagne — relaxes, removes excess, helps to expose instincts. This doesn’t mean that the girl will immediately undress in front of you, but rather that she will stop controlling the “market” and express what she’s thinking about. Which is important for future relationships, if any.
Perfect date - this is, first of all, an opportunity for a girl to hear a guy, to understand if they have common topics of conversation, common interests. Communication, first emotions, smiles for a girl are more important than the continuation desired by a guy. Excessive pressure can scare off a girl, especially if you want a serious relationship. Take your time, don’t skip phases and stages, don’t rob yourself and your partner. This is a game, easy flirting, moving from one milestone to another can be very interesting and exciting, and for a woman, romance is more important than sex.
Take your time, give the girl a fairy tale, a grateful woman will find something to thank you for.
Views on the same thing come from a male and female point of view, sometimes very different. This also applies to the area of relationships. For example, on an ideal first date from a woman’s point of view, romance should first of all prevail, which for most men is quite boring. What should an ideal serious first date look like from a man's point of view?
A romantic walk on the beach, a private picnic somewhere out of the way, or watching the sunset - this could be the perfect date. Unfortunately, in most cases only for ladies. Men are not too interested in romance, sometimes they are even very bored.
How to come up with something that would be ideal for both of them so that the partner does not fall asleep from boredom on the first date? The Foxnews server provided an overview of some tips that were developed exclusively by male members of society. Some of them may seem like clichés at first glance, but, according to men, they still work better than drawn-out romantic proposals from women.
Cooked dinner together
As American restaurant critic and novelist Gael Green once said in a speech: “Great food is like great sex. The more you have, the more you want.”
A communal dinner is therefore certainly not a bad idea. Of course, you won't spoil anything by visiting a nice restaurant, but for 68 percent of men, it's even more tempting when they can cook their own food with a partner. If this is preceded by some kind of foreplay and a joint choice of products, this, they say, is best.
Brunch Invitation
Brunch (a combination of English breakfast and lunch) is something between breakfast and lunch. It is about an activity that is based on good food (mostly prepared in some way), entertainment and a pleasant atmosphere. Thus, we are not talking about any main dish as such.
Brunch can be organized both in luxurious restaurants and in small clubs where there is a good atmosphere.
Sports date by the water
At the end of summer, this advice probably won’t be very useful, but despite this, it won’t hurt to know about it for the future. It doesn’t matter whether you swim, surf, or do other activities in the water, everything will count.
Firstly, according to the men, the main positive is some kind of different atmosphere, and secondly, even the sun’s rays help, and not just sunbathe.
Previous studies by Austrian and German specialists showed that vitamin D (which is formed in the skin under the influence of sunlight) significantly increases testosterone levels in men. If you add to this some other adrenaline in the form of water games, success, they say, is guaranteed.
Golf or shooting range
Men definitely like to do something, and they like to involve their girlfriends in it. Therefore, according to some of them, it is ideal to spend an afternoon date, for example, on the golf course. Are you saying that women can't play golf? It doesn't matter, you just need to show desire and a private educational lecture from your partner can ignite a spark of reciprocity.
If you are not a golf fan, try, for example, archery; the more daring ones will not be afraid of a shooting range or paintball field.
How to plan a date? The question is urgent and requires answers. After all, you can’t always rely on the great “maybe”; sometimes you still need to develop a plan and prepare. It would be stupid to make yourself look like an idiot on the very first date with a girl, and thereby nip a potential relationship in the bud, right?
So, the ideal date - what kind of dish is it and what side dish should it be eaten with? Let's look at this topic piece by piece in 7 points. Why points 7? Because 7 is a lucky number.
Read it in 15-20 minutes.
Where to have a date?
The meeting place cannot be changed! That is, first of all, you need to decide on the location of your meeting.
Ideally, your first date with a girl is best spent outdoors. Leave cafes, restaurants and cinema for later. Think of it as the second step. In addition, a girl on a first date may not want to be paid for anywhere - they say, they make her a debtor or even buy her. When you get to know each other better, then this will be perceived as an investment, diligence on your part to satisfy her desires. But all this will come later, for now it’s a walk.
Where is the best place to go out with a girl? Well, it’s clear that it’s not in dark, piss-stained gateways, no - there are parks, botanical gardens and city attractions for that. You can just slowly walk around the center.
And the best way to do this is to walk around the city a little, and then sit down on some bench in some park. If there is any body of water nearby, then it’s absolutely bliss. The place should be quiet, cozy, uncrowded, so that the girl is completely relaxed.
About finances - yes, on the first date you shouldn’t take a girl to expensive restaurants or amusement parks, but you simply have to buy her ice cream or cotton candy, it’s your civic duty as a man!
You can also sit down at some street cafe to relax and have a drink. After all, a girl shouldn’t get tired on a date—neither from you nor from walking. If at the beginning of the date you spend so much time describing the route you have planned that you will choke, and end the story with the phrase “the main thing is to be in time before the metro closes,” then it’s a waste of time, you’ve already shit yourself, my friend. It is likely that at this moment she will begin to figure out how to get away from you more elegantly.
It would be nice if you went through some open event, city festivities - City Day, Maslenitsa, etc., but only briefly to round it all off on a park bench.
And try to get the weather right. Of course, snow and rain are also beautiful and romantic, but no one needs frostbitten feet and soaking wet clothes on a date.
How to invite a girl on a date?
Everything is simple and clear here. A telephone call, the purpose of which is to invite you to a meeting, should be as brief, brief and concise as possible. 5 minutes and a couple of phrases - that's all. Don’t even think about sitting on her ears before your first meeting.
You call, say hello, ask how she’s doing out of politeness, and immediately get down to business. “Let’s go somewhere tomorrow,” you guys.
If she refuses because she is busy, then simply reschedule the meeting, or rather, agree on the exact date, time and place of the meeting in order to, so to speak, put a tick on the schedule.
How to go on a first date?
For starters, don’t even think about oversleeping the meeting. Don't be late at all. It is good form for a girl to be a little late - but this does not mean that you can be late. What if she still arrives on time?
What if she's late? If it’s not for long, then don’t say anything at all. If it is more than 20 minutes, then you can calmly clarify the reason for the delay. Don’t even think about swearing or threatening - don’t get upset, in general, be grateful that she came at all.
You can give her some modest gift - a flower or a small plush toy. This is not necessary, of course, but why not. But the gift should be modest, acquired by you casually, somewhere along the way. There is no need to flaunt how important this date is to you and how worried you are about it. If a girl goes on her very first date and meets a crazy guy hugging a teddy bear that's bigger than him, she might think you've run away.
How to give compliments on a date?
The main thing is that the compliment must be sincere, from the heart, and not for show. And not prepared in advance and blurted out at random, but reflecting reality. Compliment her hairstyle, outfit, jewelry - I mean, not everything in a row, of course. You can lightly touch the hair, for example, if you praised the hairstyle, to immediately indicate at least a little tactile contact. And, yes, if nothing comes to mind, then be silent - it’s better to just say hello with a smile than to argue some nonsense, immediately revealing yourself as an idiot.
During communication, continue to periodically compliment her - you understand that she was also preparing for the meeting, choosing clothes, jewelry, doing makeup, hair - so emphasize that you see her efforts and that she managed to impress you.
But don't overdo it. Firstly, an endless stream of compliments will not seem sincere and earned by any girl. Secondly, if you feed it a ton of compliments, and then, when their flow stops, this fish may be offended by you and slip away. Everything should be in moderation.
How to communicate on a date?
So, you met, followed the route planned by you or you, through compliments you successfully launched the communication process... and what next? No problem, walk in silence for a few hours and then take the metro. Joke. But be careful that this stupid joke doesn’t become a stupid truth.
What to talk about with a girl? Believe me, a textbook with such a title would be of no use to anyone. You can and should talk to a girl about everything. Almost. The textbook “What you shouldn’t talk about with a girl” would definitely come in handy. And then there are characters who “don’t move their brains at all.” It’s clear that with your girlfriend, whom you’ve been dating for a long time and know each other like crazy, you can talk about everything in the world. But on the very first date, you won’t discuss sexual perversions with her or tell her how you had an enema the other day - right? You're not a ghoul.
So, what conclusions have we come to? If you throw out all the slag from the conversation, then you need to communicate with a girl about everything in the world. There is no need to delve into the palaces of the mind, going through some “special” women’s conversations.
If the conversation turns to a specific topic - cinema, sports, and so on - then you either have to understand this issue in order to show your erudition, or you can admit to her that you don’t understand anything about this, and then ask her to tell you in more detail . Let her talk, give her the opportunity to teach you something new. She will feel smart, her tongue will loosen. Listen carefully, ask again, you should continue to have a full-fledged dialogue.
How to touch a girl on a date?
First touch on a date
Touching should begin almost from the very beginning of the date to indicate the degree of your minimal intimacy, which, naturally, will only increase later. In order not to stretch it all out over 100,500 meetings, we begin tactile contact right away.
It was already said above that you can immediately touch her hair and praise her hairstyle. If the date takes place in winter, then you can playfully shake the snow from her hair, or touch your cheek with your fingers, saying, what a cute blush you have.
Gradual build-up
Also, touching should begin immediately and gradually become more intimate, so that there is no such situation when you have been walking for a couple of hours, and suddenly you suddenly hug her around the waist and press her to you. This is how you can catch bream. Everything should happen incrementally.
First, you hold her by the back or by the arm when crossing the road. You hold your waist as you walk through the crowd. Then, if she did not resist the previous touches, you can take her hand. If she doesn’t pull her hand away and you’re already calmly walking arm in arm, then you can turn on the romance and kiss her hand. If she likes it, then you can properly hug her around the waist and move on like that.
The main thing is feedback control
But be sure to watch her reaction. You understand - if at the same time she looks at you and smiles, then everything is fine. But if your eyes run around looking for the police, then you've crap somewhere. Stop, rewind the level of touching, improve her mood and disposition towards you - and then try again.
Kissing on a date
Next is our same bench in a quiet, secluded place. No, the point is not that she can be raped here, no. You kiss the hand again, hug, kiss on the cheek. Maybe on the lips - that’s how it goes for you. One way or another, this is the moment when there should no longer be any space between you. She may rest her head on your shoulder or even on your lap.
The most active action, for example, a tight hug and a full-fledged French kiss, can happen either now or when you say goodbye. When you say goodbye, this must happen. Because your second meeting should already begin with this.
You can also try, as they say, to grope her, but only be careful! Watch her reaction. If she immediately refuses, apologize, like, oh, sorry. If you don’t mind, then increase the level of intimacy.
If she starts saying: “No, don’t,” then, again, listen to her tone.
- Joking - consider that you have been told “Yes”. In this case, you have started a game of giveaway. She says “no”, you say “yes”, and so on increasingly. Just don’t cross the line of what is permitted, otherwise a comic game can escalate into an attempted rape.
- If she says this languidly, then consider that you have already jumped over a few steps, and you are already allowed to check how wet her panties are. Well, then you understand.
- If there is clearly an exclamation mark in her “No”, and she herself looks at you seriously or scared, as if you had already pulled off your pants and underpants, then urgently apologize, turn the gallant guy mode back on - kiss your hand, say, Sorry for scaring you, turn it into a joke. The main thing to remember is that later, a long passionate kiss is needed goodbye, everything must come to him. But only with her consent. Albeit a silent one. So your job is to work on getting her to agree herself.
At the second meeting, there should no longer be boundaries between you within the framework of physical contact. This means that during the first time you should get minimal access to her entire body, she should allow you to touch her everywhere. So that this is where the second meeting begins. But remember that if you were a stupid interlocutor, then during the time between dates the girl may forget what it was like to be with you (this is called girl memory), and then screw you, and not petting from the very beginning of the second date. You have to be great on all fronts.
How to end a date and what to do after it?
Remember that once done must continue. Not a step back, so to speak. If you touched it, it means that you now have constant access to the body. Kissed her - that’s it, that means now her lips belong to you. Paid for her - that means she never pays anywhere else. A step back means execution. Only forward and deep.
By the way, regarding “paid for the girl” - try to evaluate her behavior, whether she is a dynamo. Suddenly she will be so happy to see that she has found a sucker who will buy her anything and take her anywhere for a couple of kisses and touches on her chest. Watch her behavior, her reaction when you pay for two. And in general, on the very first date it would be better to split the bill between two, especially since we said that gatherings in a cafe should be kept to a minimum. Buy her some popsicles and let her suck on them.
In terms of spending on a girl, never go on the increase. Like at the first meeting - a flower, at the second - three, at the third - a bouquet, at the fourth - a large bouquet, and at the fifth you will no longer have money, and she will come to you all like, “What will he give me?” Today". And as a result, misunderstanding, resentment and cockroach rebellion in her beautiful skull. Don't try to be better every time, but try to be new every time. Not quantity, but quality! Just be original.
- you either accompany her,
- or not.
The second option, for example, can happen if she needs to go somewhere else on business. Or maybe you yourself need somewhere else nearby (or supposedly). All situations are acceptable. The main thing is that you don’t leave her alone right in the middle of the same park, logical?
The main thing is to ask her to call you back when she gets home so that you don’t worry. Then, already on the phone, say that you are glad that she got home safely, and - “Good night. Kisses, Sunshine,” or something like that.
And before that, even at the point where you part, be sure to say how pleasant it was for you to spend time with her. And when you go in different directions, don’t look back.
Don't ask for a second date right away, just the next day. It’s better not to have any contact with her for a week. If she calls or writes herself, answer that she’s very busy for now, but as soon as you’re free, then yes, of course. Closer and further, you understand. Keep the level of significance at a level (yes, this is a tautology, so what?).
We hope... but what do we hope for! — we are sure that this article will help you plan the perfect date, and everything will be fine. Any doubts? Take the RMES-Basic training and upgrade yourself.
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For me, an ideal date is one after which I want to meet again. And this is not so much about the decorations - candles, roses, mimosa, but rather about the resonance that arose between people. Ideally, they can be truly sincere.
Perhaps my best date was not a date. We agreed to meet with an old acquaintance. I lost tickets to a concert. Mozart's Requiem. It was spring, I was 23, I had just broken up with my boyfriend. And enjoyed the sun and freedom. I had no plans to look for a new relationship. We never made it to the concert. They walked, chatted in a friendly manner, were glad that they didn’t have to pretend to be anything, they could talk openly. !I wonder if we could work out something?” - asked my companion. “Of course not,” I answered mentally. The walk took us to visit his friend, the bartender of a small cafe. There was no one at the tables except us. Libertango was playing. He invited me to dance. A month later we began to live together. Two years later they got married.
first of all, pay attention to appearance: yes, they are greeted by their clothes; but here we are not talking about style, but about grooming: take a shower, use deodorant (or cologne, but most importantly, deodorant), shave (if you don’t have a beard), comb your hair, brush your teeth, clean your nails, put on clean clothes. It seems obvious, but for some reason not everyone follows it :(
About communication: I personally feel comfortable starting conversations about nothing, which smoothly turn into stories from life, exchange of opinions, etc. You can ask how she spent the day (if the meeting is in the evening), or tell yourself what happened to you that day. There is no need for a particularly romantic mood (IMHO), deep feelings are built on spiritual intimacy.
About the meeting place and spending money: purely my opinion, the best option is a walk; definitely not a movie (sitting in the dark without looking at each other - what?). You can treat them to a drink or something sweet. If it’s cold, of course, there’s still a cafe; although, you can visit some exhibition or festival (if you both are interested); I personally feel uncomfortable when they pay a lot for me, but girls are different, so I’m not really an adviser here
Bottom line: if you saw her and you liked her, try to make friends with her and determine her interest, see what kind of person she is, how close her ideas are to yours, etc. If you don’t like it, leave
So that you feel interested, communication is easy and relaxed, and there is attention from the guy. It’s nice to know that they didn’t go on a date with you out of boredom, but because they really liked you. It’s cool when a guy has a sense of humor, it helps get rid of awkwardness and shyness, you feel more relaxed. The choice of place, in principle, does not play a special role, but for a date I would prefer a quiet place where there are few people, or a walk, if the weather permits. Regarding gifts, huge bouquets and other things - well, this all has no place on the first date, for me it looks downright vulgar. Well, in general, an ideal date is when a guy and a girl mutually like each other :)
A girl is always pleased to feel ease and freedom from accepted norms in a dialogue. You need to behave naturally (not fart and burp, but show some of your moral weaknesses), be humorous - establish contact and show with all your appearance that you will accept her for who she is. Girls love with their ears - it’s true. You shouldn't shower people with compliments if you don't know how to come up with something fresh and original. She will consider you a banal guy who stupidly picks up a chick. Personally, I use the “hint of a compliment” method, that is, when you lead the dialogue into a direction where she is assessed yes or no and hint at yes, but do not say it openly. This way she understands that she likes you, that there is a “mystery” between you. Girls need to open up - they love it. Cultured girls, I mean. I take the average type. It would be nice to take her somewhere where you know the area and are familiar with it. This way she will feel more confident next to you than without you. Wow. Well, tell interesting stories, express opinions about everything, share impressions about what interests her, lay out the most dashing humores on the table. This is how a first date should go (from my point of view). So far, this is the most effective method for intrigue and continued communication. In 10 cases out of 10, the relationship continued. I don’t know how comfortable this or that girl felt on the first date with me in this way, but no one expressed anything negative to me about this for sure
I think it should be friendly. With a friendly atmosphere. The whole romantic thing is starting to make you nervous. Condition: fainting from excitement and fear. :-)) Therefore, I always considered a relaxed friendly meeting as the ideal option.
Under no circumstances should you bring any flowers to your date. Only mercantile individuals will need them. After all, it’s stupid to bring flowers if you have a first date and you don’t know anything yet, you’re going to see each other and chat. All these flower brooms are the most ridiculous thing that can happen in this case. The degree of nervousness is growing. :-))
The best thing is to find some common cause. This usually brings people together. And the worst option is sharing food. :-)) You can come up with many different other adequate options. It depends on your interests and your imagination.
It will be different for every girl. An ideal date is one that makes your eyes sparkle and think positive thoughts. I had this happen. After a year of correspondence on social networks, the meeting took place in a chic city, which was ideal for a first date. It was Peter. We walked the streets, listened to street musicians, drank delicious coffee and enjoyed our surroundings and conversations. It was the best time, after that a fairy tale began. And you don’t need flowers or expensive gifts. The main thing is what happens between people at this moment - whether something lights up inside or not.
