Sociologists argue that the basis for the choice to become an independent woman lies primarily in the fact that these women value their freedom and independence. Moreover, they ask, is it necessary to participate in the reproduction of the human race if one does not feel ready for such a difficult role? In the same way, it is useless to force yourself by maintaining any compromise relationship in which, without solving your own problems, you create more and more new ones, not only for yourself, but also for others...
If you feel like you are your own boss, if you are independent and self-reliant, but without any hint of inconvenience or distress, then everything is fine! But if your loneliness weighs heavily on you, becomes unbearable, what then?! Of course, all people are afraid of loneliness. They are afraid from the moment they are born. Then they grow up and begin to take care of themselves, but there are also those who never grow up.
How to become a strong and independent girl
NO to the feeling of abandonment and loneliness that often takes over and upsets you. In these difficult moments, try to convince yourself that you are not alone, but simply free. Maybe this word will radically change your mood. Feel freedom with every cell of your body, like Margarita on her famous flight.
YES - to everyday worries about your appearance. Even if you feel that you are in a certain sense betraying your main principles, still pay attention to your clothes, makeup, and hairstyle.
NO to the tedious pursuit of love partners. If something good hasn't happened to you yet, let time work for you. Maybe the wait will be fruitful.
YES - to new acquaintances, invitations to spend time, any kind of social contacts. A closed door is tantamount to loneliness and despair.
NO - fear of loneliness. It is much better than some relationship that is detrimental to you, tormenting you every day and bringing you ever darker experiences.
YES - frankness. To become independent, show yourself to others as you are. Because the masks will fall off sooner or later, and then you may find yourself in an awkward position.
NO to inferiority complex and nervous crises. Think about what someone would give to be in your place.
YES to entertainment, hobbies, travel and new meetings. Enrich your free time with new activities and interests.
NO to fleeting decisions and “pleasures”: cigarettes, alcohol, delicacies... In the end, you will be the victim, and not someone else.
YES to work, but with a sense of proportion - do not make yourself a slave to your career just because you feel emotional emptiness.
NO to fleeting love affairs. If you want to become an independent woman, allow time to save you from some bitter disappointments.
YES - contacts with people, dialogue. Ultimately, why would you withdraw into your shell and shy away from the light? There is no reason for this.
About independent women
Nowadays, it is difficult to meet an independent person; more often people play the role of such individuals, while others do not make any attempts to become one. If you have decided to change your life, have wondered how to be an independent person, and act only according to your desires, we will try to help you with this.
First of all, let's dwell on the concept of an independent personality. An independent person is considered a self-sufficient person who does not need to follow anyone’s desires or requirements, since he knows and knows everything himself, determines his own goals, is responsible for his actions, and ensures his own existence in full. At the same time, you must be fully aware that becoming independent does not relieve you of the obligation to adhere to the laws of the country and moral and ethical considerations.
To become an independent woman, we will look at what rules to follow and what points to focus on in the following recommendations.
Try to figure out any problem yourself. Read books, newspapers, articles on the Internet, but find a way to solve the problem yourself. For example, your phone is broken, there are two ways to solve the problem: find a service yourself, call, find out everything, take it for repair and pay for the work. If material resources do not allow, at the moment there is a lot of information on the Internet on how to repair it at home, if the breakdown is not so complicated.
Distribute your budget so that you have enough for the whole month and do not have to turn to friends for a loan. For this case, of course, there are also credit cards, but then keep in mind that the next month will be even more difficult; you can’t live your whole life on credit.
If you want to become an independent woman, never count on chance, this will create twice as many troubles as there should be.
Learn to distribute your time so that you have enough time everywhere and for everything. There are many diaries, notebooks, and organizers for this purpose.
Speak to the point, while first thinking through what you want to convey to your interlocutor. Before forming your opinion, look at the situation from different angles.
Criticize yourself. Independent individuals tend to have a strong character, which leads to a lack of criticism in your face from the outside, so you yourself must be very critical of yourself. Only those who are equal in volitional qualities to you can criticize you, but this rarely happens in practice, since opposites will attract.
You must understand that independence and self-sufficiency also has the other side of the coin, which will appear when you acquire this status. Your environment will begin to count on you more than you want, to expect that you will decide everything yourself, figure everything out, determine everything, you will have to rely only on yourself, and on your strength of character.
How to become an independent person
If you want to be an independent woman and build harmonious relationships with the world around you, you need to find inner strength. It is she who will allow you to see the relationship of dependence in all its glory - useless, unattractive and unnecessary.
It is necessary to realize that only we ourselves can be responsible for our own lives. The only alternative to addiction is active participation in one's own destiny, as well as meaningful participation in the lives of others.
First of all, a person needs to understand that he is dependent, and also under what circumstances he turns to the person on whom he depends. Then, when such circumstances arise, try to switch to another useful activity.
To become an independent person, you need to develop some new interests and hobbies. This will help distract you from the dependency relationship.
Another direction in gaining independence is developing the ability to enjoy solitude, because it is one of the manifestations of independence from other people.
If you are dependent on a specific person, then communicating with new people will help you gain independence. After all, relationships of dependence are often caused by a person’s confidence that he will be of no interest to anyone except the object of his dependence.
To completely break free from an addictive relationship, you need to do something meaningful for yourself and other people. This is what will give you the competence and self-control that will create the foundation for your new independent life.
The biggest doubt associated with gaining independence is the thought: will it be possible, as a result of self-development, to learn to be happy alone? It must be remembered that the result obtained is proportional to the effort expended.
How to become an independent person? This requires a lot of work, but in the end you will enjoy the joy of victory and acquisitions. A person who works on himself will definitely discover serious differences between the past and the present. Once this gap is reached, no one will want to go back into a dependent relationship.
© T.Z. Subbotina
Reprint, citation and distribution
site materials //www.site/
without compliance
PROHIBITED.
You often meet just such people on the street - as if flying above the ground, with a proud posture, head held high, radiating confidence and charm. Such girls attract like a magnet. Women want to be friends with them, men want to date. They are eager to imitate them, to get into their social circle. But how to become a confident woman?
Self-doubt is a dangerous quality that undermines not only self-esteem, but also affects all deeds and accomplishments. Sometimes a person chooses the wrong path for himself only because he doubts his own abilities. And you need to fight uncertainty by identifying the causes of the problem, remembering the culprits and offenders.
As a rule, all the roots lie in childhood, when someone undermined and influenced the wrong way. girl? First, bring the memories of these offenders out into the light of day and examine them, make sure that they do not represent anything significant, and in general they blatantly lied to you. And it’s worth carrying out this procedure more often, because ghosts from the past have an unpleasant tendency to return.
How to become a confident woman? To begin with, use the technique of affirmations, they are also positive theses that are simply impossible to doubt, which need to be repeated as often as possible. There is a list of them in every one. It is worth remembering it, and then every day in front of the mirror convince yourself of your own beauty, charm and irresistibility. First you need to learn to trust yourself. It's difficult, but possible and worthwhile. After just a month of hard training, self-hypnosis will begin to work.
The second weapon needed by those who want to know how to become a confident girl is a sense of humor. You should not allow people to offend you and throw you off balance, and all heels should be treated with healthy irony, kindness and without drama, both at work and in relationships. helps you to more easily endure problems and difficulties, laugh at your own weaknesses and shortcomings, and repel any attacks. You just have to be careful with jokes so as not to make enemies for yourself with ridicule.
Self-sufficient ladies know how to become a confident girl: not to be afraid of their own weaknesses and shortcomings. Yes, there is always something you don’t like in the mirror. Sometimes there is too much here, sometimes there is not enough there, sometimes the legs are not so long, sometimes the nose is snub-nosed. But a stunning appearance does not always ensure success in everything. Few women are completely satisfied with their appearance, even famous actresses, whom everyone considers beautiful, would like to change something about themselves. And that's okay. What to do? Go to the gym, change your clothing style, look at everything from a positive point of view. It is better to have such a body, but healthy, than a crooked and sick one, for example. You need to focus on your strengths, not your shortcomings.
How to become a confident girl? Always be yourself. With everyone and always: at work, at home, in friendship and enmity. Betrayal of oneself is the hardest of all. Quite often, ladies want to appear better, to please, not to offend or harm, to be liked. And for this they suppress their own desires and aspirations, forget their interests and plans to please, for example, a man. But you can’t do this, it never ends well. Even if someone doesn’t really like something about your character, these are his personal problems. The pretense ends sooner or later, the cards have to be revealed. So why pretend to be someone else if you still have to show your true face?
The main thing is to remember that a confident person does not need praise and confirmation from the outside. His own opinion should be higher and more important. And then your whole life will change beyond recognition!
“How to become confident?” - Many girls and women ask this question. Their desire to become like this is quite understandable. The gait is flying, calm and confident. Posture is straight and proud. The movements are verified and sharpened. The head is raised high. Everyone turns around and looks at such girls, even if involuntarily. They look so good!
Even if they are not always beauties in the usual sense of the word, they simply shine with confidence that slips through every movement. This radiance attracts, beckons, and not only male attention. The female half strives to be the same as these confident girls, seek their friendship, try to be like them in everything, admire and envy: “How could I become like that!” Men try their best to win their attention and the opportunity to get to know each other: “I wish I could have one like that!”
How to become a confident girl: three important points
First, start by working on yourself, your character, your habits. Let's say you are a person by nature, prone to shyness and gentleness. Don't be upset! After all, self-confidence goes well with these qualities, resulting in a very charming and pleasant girl. After all, confidence without such character traits makes a woman a bitch, calculating and cold. The attitude of others towards you may well be friendly and welcoming, and confidence is exactly that invisible force that all women need.
However, you must be able to set your own assessment objectively and strive to improve it all the time. Also remember: self-respect is the step from which respect for others begins. A girl who is confident in herself will never say: “No one can need me, no one will ever pay attention to me!” And even if you don’t have a very high opinion of yourself now, we strongly advise you to forget about it, this is where your path to creating self-confidence will begin. Always tell yourself: “I deserve the best! And not because I’m special, but because I’m me!”
- Don't lower your own standards
Your own bar should always be set high, and the standards you set for yourself should be high as well. Never relax or reduce them. Of course, you need to love yourself under any circumstances, but you must agree, how much more pleasant and easier it is to do this when you actually have something to love for. If possible, try to be the best in everything - at work, at school, while at the same time strive to always look excellent. If you have thought out every detail of your wardrobe, every highlight that makes up your image, then you can say with complete confidence: “I look stunning!”
Every day, look very carefully at your reflection in the mirror.
Remember, maybe there is some very beautiful and expensive accessory that you have long wanted to have? Buy it soon! It has long been known that a new thing, even the smallest one, in the form of a scarf or stockings, lifts your spirits in the most wonderful way. For example, having bought new shoes with high stiletto heels, you will immediately feel much more beautiful and desirable than, say, wearing flat or platform shoes. The only thing you should beware of is going overboard in your desire to look sexy and attractive, because if you clearly see that you feel much more comfortable in shoes, say, a few centimeters lower, it is better not to risk it and buy just such shoes.
Having set high enough standards for yourself, and making every effort to meet them, you can rest assured that everyone around you will begin to treat you with no less respect, because you, the new one, deserve to be treated in the most noble way. Without a doubt, no one is immune from problems, mistakes and troubles. You need to learn to recognize lies, insincerity, and not allow anyone, even your best friends and close relatives, to take advantage of the fact that you treat them well. Only by stopping any attempts to take advantage of you can you make others respect you. At the same time, you can rest assured that such decisive actions will make people remember it for a long time, and they will no longer try to do this to you.
- Be active
You can't be proactive enough in your work or studies? Can’t defend your opinion, express it in such a way as to force others to listen to you? Or maybe those active girls who are always leaders in the team and do not hide their talents when speaking in public make you envious?
All your concerns and fears need to be collected together and thrown away. How? There is a very good psychological technique: take a blank sheet of paper, write down all your experiences and concerns, you can use an ordinary list, then take this sheet... and burn it. During this peculiar ritual, imagine that all your fears are burned along with the paper: the fear that you may not be understood, not heard, considered funny, awkward, and so on.
Practice speaking in front of a group, in front of an audience. It is best to do this in front of a mirror, alone. Take a closer look at yourself, at the way you pronounce words, make certain gestures. Do you like yourself? If the answer is yes, then chances are others will like you too.
And the acquired ability to communicate, to be able to express your opinion, will instantly attract the attention of the team to you, and this will be especially noticeable if before that you preferred to sit modestly in a corner. And then, the way you now know how to speak and express yourself will show you in the most favorable light, as a person who knows how to think in his own way and is a bright individual.
Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, don’t let it undermine the confidence that has begun to appear in you. Yes, you can learn from mistakes, this truth is not just beautiful words. Take any mistake as a new lesson, very useful, let the smile never leave your lips, and boldly move on, forward.
- Don't doubt your abilities
But initially everyone has confidence, but everyone takes this confidence for granted and does not use it to the fullest. Many people find it more convenient to pretend to be a loser, no matter how ridiculous it may look from the outside. This is how they try to relieve themselves of unnecessary responsibility: “What can I take from me?” Maybe this life position is convenient for someone, but not for you, on your way to developing your own confidence. Constantly remind yourself: “I can do it, I can do it!” I believe in myself, I believe in my success!”
Even the most self-sufficient, confident and independent women have doubts. There are moments in everyone's life when they completely lose faith in themselves and their abilities. Your task is to prevent such moments from happening in your life, even if only for a short time. Strengthens self-confidence by doing what you know how to do best (or think that this is so), for example, sing your favorite song out loud. Isn't it true that you manage to do everything? See how this small victory will encourage you and restore your confidence.
And the last thing - do not change very dramatically, you should not radically, at one moment, change your entire life, its usual way of life. It is very difficult to change a character that has developed over the years, and this must be done gradually, step by step. Organically introduce the standards that you have set for yourself into your world so that those around you will get used to the new you. Then, over time, you yourself will get used to the new image. The first changes will give you the first confidence - and then your transformation will happen by itself.
Many girls often wonder why be strong and independent if there is a strong male shoulder nearby? In fact, not everything is as simple as we would like. At all times, men were attracted to independent girls. Psychologists give the fair sex a number of tips to become interesting to a man.
Be yourself. You should never follow someone else's opinion if it does not coincide with yours. Do not be afraid to go against the wishes of your chosen one. This way, on the contrary, you will become more interesting to him.
Be independent. The relationship between a girl and a man should first and foremost be a partnership. Guys don't like dependent women.
Be well-groomed and beautiful. A girl's beauty should have not only external manifestations, but also internal ones. You cannot give reason, even for a moment, to doubt your beauty and harmony with yourself. Your behavior should emphasize irresistibility.
Don't sacrifice yourself for your relationship. If you have a meeting planned with friends or a girlfriend, do not cancel it because of the sudden change in plans of your chosen one. There is no need to give yourself entirely to a man.
Give up jealousy and its manifestations. Jealousy is a bad friend in a relationship. The big mistake of many girls is that they do not know how to control their jealous manifestations, which only pushes the guy away.
Learn not only to listen, but also to speak. Try to become a support for your man, do not criticize him, but on the contrary, strive in every possible way to support all his endeavors.
Make compromises. Don't overdo it with persistence. In any business, as well as in relationships, you need to see and feel the line.
Disrespect cannot be tolerated. A guy should respect you. You cannot turn a blind eye to manifestations of impolite behavior on the part of a man. He must fight for you, but in no case against you.
Set goals on your horizon. Remember, men love girls with ambitions, so don’t sit in one place, conquer the peaks.
Recognize him as a man. Men like strong girls, but we must not forget that a girl should allow her chosen one to make decisions.
We hope you find these tips helpful. Don’t forget also that the stronger sex likes successful and prosperous girls!
They say that men love weak women. But you can only seem weak. They say strong women are left alone. Although, maybe there was simply no stronger man? Yes, they say a lot of things, all kinds of stereotypes about relationships.
But they don’t become strong by choice! Sometimes circumstances force us to become strong regardless of our will. Is this what a woman would want from a good life? A lot happens in fate, and it’s not always good.
What kind of strong woman is she?
Many people confuse this concept with bitchiness and selflessness. Of course, these concepts are compatible, but not necessarily. A strong woman can be kind, calm, and rational. And even become happy!
Women want to become stronger when they are faced with big problems, men's ones, but men are not around. This means that you can become morally stronger when everyone around you is weak. Children, elderly parents, sick relatives, girlfriends with big problems. Then the woman, not finding anyone nearby who could help, takes everything upon herself. There are two options: either it will “break” or become strong. Well, how can you allow yourself to give up? Who will then take care of all the above-mentioned “weak”?
To learn how to become stronger in character, you can look at single mothers, or business women, at volunteer girls helping homeless animals and caring for sick old people, at those women who serve in men's jobs. There are many examples. How do they manage to do this? Let's look:
They never complain to anyone about their troubles;
They rely only on themselves;
They do not ask anyone for help;
Survive in the most extreme conditions;
No one is blamed for their fate;
They do not show their weakness;
They solve all their problems themselves;
They try not to think about the bad;
They work hard on themselves;
They achieve a lot through hard work and perseverance;
Don't go back to the past;
They always try to help everyone.
How to become a strong woman
There are many opinions, but the most accurate and clear thought that fully expresses how to become a strong person is the behavior of Scarlett O, Hara (“Gone with the Wind”): she did not immediately think about all the disturbing thoughts and events that worried her too much In order not to go crazy from the experience, she told herself: “I’ll think about it tomorrow.” In the end, however, she never thought about it, which saved her from inevitable madness.
In fact, it’s really better to think about something exciting when the first emotions have subsided. It is then that a person is able to reason sensibly.
For everyday life, when you don't have anything particularly bad going on, but just want to be a morally stable girl, go back to the first three points above and try to live up to them. And also – awareness and independence. Only those who live consciously can be strong. It is impossible to become strong while living under the care of wealthy parents or husband. Because it's simply not necessary in everyday life.
And the strong usually help the weak. Are you ready to feel compassion, sincere, from the bottom of your heart, for those people who need help? By doing something for the disadvantaged and weak, we ourselves become stronger. You need to be able to be strong in some situations and rely on someone in others.
Be able to forgive, not hold grudges or grudges against anyone. To withstand a difficult situation, not to give up, even when it seems that no matter what you do, it won’t get better - still continue to fight. Always find a way out of any problem. All these are components of both a strong woman and any person in general. This is a difficult psychological path, it begins with knowing yourself and your strengths. Just believe it. Into yourself. And then - into people. To your success. And may good luck be with you!
Video for future strong women:
