There comes a moment in every couple when love turns into a “suitcase without a handle” - it’s hard to carry and it’s a pity to throw it away. The ideal option for separation is when both lovers understand that the meaning of the relationship has dried up. A self-sufficient lady will be the first to talk about breaking up, and a smart man will allow her to do this without arguing.
Unfortunately, this rarely happens. Often, when a woman makes a decision, a man resists. Even more often, there is simply not enough strength to put an end to it. The latter is closely related to addiction, a disease that has been dubbed Marilyn Monroe syndrome.
Step 1
And now we’ll talk about the lady’s first step on the path to breaking off a boring relationship. About how to mentally prepare yourself.
Psychologists advise starting with a gradual change in consciousness. The method is based on self-hypnosis and is performed by scrolling through the same thoughts in the head.
What should you think about in this situation? This may seem ridiculous, but the lover’s wife will be a good assistant here.
- First of all, imagine what a blow the news of betrayal would be for a legitimate passion. Feel yourself in her place, feel how painful it is to be rejected by your own husband.
- Also think that your loved one became the way you loved him only thanks to your wife. Going through difficulties, support in difficult times, illnesses and sorrows for two concern only THEIR relationships, but not yours.
- Next, understand that only with his wife can a lover be himself. With you he just changes masks and will never be real.
- Convince yourself that you are a backup option, a girl for fun. This is exactly how he treats you.
- Know that when a mistress loses her pretentiousness (and you, too, will one day turn 40), a married suitor leaves at the speed of sound. How do you like this arrangement?
Scroll these thoughts in your head constantly, call them up intentionally if necessary. By setting yourself up in this way, you will change your consciousness and soon you will want to get rid of this meaningless connection.
Step 2
If thoughts about your spouse do not push you to take decisive action, do not stop. Look for every possible way that can help you change your thinking. Try the following tips:
- Look at your boyfriend from the other side. Try to find flaws, concentrate on them. Perhaps you don’t like some habits or are irritated, for example, by sloppiness. Or maybe sometimes the boyfriend behaves as if you are already his wife. Find all the gifts given and remember how often you were given gifts, how much money was spent on you? Perhaps your loved one is stingy? Or maybe he has the sin of constantly being late? Explain this to yourself as a lack of respect for you. But the most important drawback, of course, is the “double” life of a loved one. Isn’t it a shame to brazenly lie to one woman’s face and feed another with false promises? How does this person get along with his conscience?
- Children. If you don't know how to leave your married lover, think about children. Even if your sweetheart moves in with you, you will not be able to live in peace. After all, he will visit his family regardless of your wishes. And where there are children, there is a wife. And there is always a danger that spouses will inflame each other with new feelings. No wonder they once got married.
- Imagine that you are already together. Often, after a loved one is wrested from his wife, a woman realizes that her love was fueled only by struggle. When the couple begins to live together, feelings evaporate. Therefore, imagine the situation of your life together in the brightest colors, in the most detailed detail. How do you feel? Do you understand that now you are in your wife’s place? And you are the one who has to worry about the fact that a rival is about to appear? After all, the character of the faithful is unlikely to change. And where there is one betrayal, there is a second. And then - will you love him, seeing him every day in sweatpants, in front of the TV or computer, at the kitchen table, in general, everywhere? Maybe, instead of thinking about how to win back, think about how beautifully to part with your loved one?
- Erase your memory. That is, get rid of all the things that remind you of the relationship. If the meetings took place in an apartment, it is advisable to move somewhere for the first time.
- Look for an inspiring activity, new hobbies, make plans that will be implemented after you announce the breakup. It is important that the novelty pleases you, so that there is anticipation of something exciting. The desire to fulfill what is planned will block the upcoming experiences and pain.
- Pay attention to other men. You can date your future ex and at the same time look for a new passion. Just attention: do not step on the same rake! Make it a goal not to consider married suitors as potential husbands. Also, you should not rush into the arms of the first person you meet (even if he is unmarried). Here, as nowhere else, the expression of the famous matchmaker Roza Syabitova is useful: “don’t go to the store hungry, otherwise you’ll take the first thing you come across. Look at your options from a place of choice, not from a place of scarcity.”
Which is better to leave: quickly or slowly?
In general, a girl has only two ways to say goodbye. The first is fast, but very painful, the second is slow, but less painful. Although, of course, it is impossible to give an unambiguous description. The degree of torment in both the fast and slow mode will depend only on the structure of the personality itself.
Fast way
Let's talk about how to properly break up with a married person using a quick method.
Being in love euphoria, people do not hear the voice of their minds, they are consumed by feelings and passion. But in our case, everything is more complicated for a girl - passion is mixed with suffering from the understanding that being together forever is not about them. Suffering accumulates and leads to a turning point. The beautiful lady realizes that if she doesn’t put an end to it now, the story will last forever. There is a feeling of being set on edge. The supporting role gets boring, and there’s a feeling that it’s time to stop. And so, before she even really understood what she was doing, the lady informed the guy about the breakup. Sharply, quickly, without hesitation. And it seems that this is the end, there is nothing more.
But, to be honest, the statement: I’m tired, I want to break up is just the initial stage. The hardest test lies ahead. Now the event needs to be experienced somehow. How?
When going to the “scaffold”, be patient, grit your teeth and do not reveal your true feelings. Put off complaints, farewell words and tears for later. Otherwise, you will fall into the trap again. Tearful explanations will become a hook for a lover - for vows, assurances, promises. But a woman’s heart is not able to refuse when a loved one asks; it itself is not yet ready to say goodbye.
At that moment you have to trust yourself. Intuition knows that in fact, it is not the relationship that will last, but the agony. Not now, but then we’ll still have to separate.
It will also be difficult if the romance is official and people have to see each other every day. For some time after saying goodbye, you will feign indifference, but the outcome of the story is clear - people cannot stand it and rush into that same pool with renewed vigor. At first it will seem romantic (well, just like in the movies!), but after a short period you will realize that you have sailed to the same shore, which will make your psychological state even worse. Therefore, avoid the person with all your might. And avoid until you free yourself from obsession. Keep yourself busy with anything - travel, girlfriends, gyms, just so that less time is spent thinking about breaking up. There is simply no other way.
Immediately after your loved one leaves, allow yourself to cry. Free yourself from what has accumulated and start cleaning the house, namely, rid the apartment of gifts and things of your ex. Rearranging, replacing furniture, and repairs will be beneficial. Remember to ignore attempts to get you back.
And yes, don’t think that you are being cruel. This person took away your chances for a normal life, which means he no longer has a place in your heart.
In the question: how to survive a separation from a married man, the following advice from a psychologist will help you:
- Share the problem with those you trust. Look for support in people and don’t be alone for long.
- Raise your emotional level. A person who has similar experience will help here.
- Plunge into a hectic life. Look for activities that can increase self-esteem - new knowledge, skills, etc.
- Do not rush to search for love adventures right away. Dedicate some period purely to yourself, recover from your previous relationship.
Slow way
Are you familiar with situations when people quit smoking? One person simply throws away the pack and endures it, no matter how hard it is, another quits smoking gradually, reducing the number of cigarettes per day. But in neither case are you immune from the temptation to take up a cigarette again.
You probably guessed that the smoking example is not accidental. You can say goodbye quickly, or you can say goodbye slowly. But if a lady leaves her lover, this does not mean that she will not come back.
The quick method is not suitable for some people. They break off the relationship, but cannot withstand the weight of emotions and break down. Therefore, for them there is a method that is almost painless - slow. Its essence is the gradual distance between the partner and the chosen one.
We have already talked about how to prepare yourself for a breakup. All that remains is to add - do not forget to ask yourself when you meet: WHAT does this relationship give you and is there any point in continuing? Notice the flaws and repeat to yourself that you don't love this person.
Believe me, self-hypnosis is a powerful force. Remember the movie “The Most Charming and Attractive”. Didn't the heroine manage to convince herself that she was amazing? Same thing. You may laugh, but try it anyway. Frequently scrolling through such thoughts will make each meeting less and less romantic and joyful. Therefore, the breakup will be less painful.
And also - when a woman is interested in the question: how to properly break up with her chosen one, many psychologists suggest pushing the partner himself to this idea. Alternatively, turn from a loving and flexible beauty into a bitch. Demand to come more often, with flowers and gifts. If you are late, scold them. Create scenes of jealousy - find out whether he sleeps with his wife and why he needs two women. And in the end, demand to leave your missus.
If your character does not allow you to do this, turn into a ball of nervous tension - remain silent, frown, sniffle. The behavior should scare off the companion, after which meetings will become rare, and then completely disappear. Here you have a choice: you can let him leave or leave your companion first.
The role of temperament during a breakup
Finally, we suggest reading interesting advice from psychologists. They relate to four types of human temperaments. How does each of them react to the news of farewell and what should they do to protect themselves and their loved one from trouble?
So, here we go:
- Choleric. Impulsive, active, hot-tempered. Accustomed to achieving what he wants through his favorite paths, he reacts painfully to refusals. If a lady said that she wants to break up, the answer can be unpredictable (even physical force). Therefore, think through your actions so that the initiative comes from the man. Also, don't go overboard with the "bitch" method. And it’s better not to intersect with such a person at all.
- Melancholic. A neurasthenic person, extremely vulnerable. Can create a lot of problems with unexpected antics. Prepare such a person for farewell gradually - each time say that you are tormented by a feeling of guilt about your spouse, remember the children, and so on.
- Sanguine. The person is cheerful and stable. With such a person, a sincere conversation is enough. Usually, a sanguine person understands at a glance and leaves his mistress without any problems.
- Phlegmatic person. You can escape from a married lover with a phlegmatic character “in English.” He will not demand explanations, and will take the news of the breakup as a given.
When a married woman lacks the attention and affection of her husband, she begins to look for love on the side. Perhaps the relationship of a married couple has grown into a habit, and there is no longer any former passion and romance. Having taken a lover, after some time a woman realizes that a relationship with him will not lead to anything good. How to leave your lover without causing him great emotional trauma, so as not to hurt his feelings in any way? You should approach this issue wisely.
In order to try to avoid a serious conflict when breaking up with your lover, you need to make every effort. You need to put yourself in the shoes of this person; if the relationship continues for quite a long time, it will be much more difficult to break up. You shouldn’t be too mean and leave a man over the phone or via SMS. To break up with a person, you need to have a frank conversation with him. Having honestly revealed your feelings, you need to explain the reason for the separation as tactfully as possible. Your partner's reaction may vary. Relief, anger, anger, disappointment, asking him to give him a second chance. You need to be prepared for anything and not deviate from your decision. Perhaps the former lover will not calm down so easily, and will continue to look for meetings, pestering him with phone calls and letters on social networks.
In this case, it is better to cut off all the threads that were once connected and simply ignore it. He must understand that the decision has been made finally and irrevocably. A man may resort to threats that he will commit suicide, thus causing only pity. A good psychoanalyst will help him. At such moments, it is very important not to lose composure and not be led by your own feelings and emotions. Especially if everything inside has not yet cooled down towards this person. In the event that neither talking nor ignoring helps, you need to make the lover want to leave. There are several ways to break up with your lover if he is against breaking up.
Option #1. Constant scandals. Not a single man on our planet likes having his voice raised at him. Constant screaming, nagging, squabbles over trifles, dissatisfaction over any reason can drive even the calmest and most peaceful person crazy. Sooner or later he will not want to communicate with the brawler.
Option #2. Extortion of money. Constantly looking into your lover's wallet to say that he needs to give more money for personal expenses, you can beg for too expensive gifts and if he is not able to give them, let him leave in all four directions. Yes, this will not show the woman from the best side, maybe even disappoint her chosen one, but this is the main task.
Option #3. Pathological jealousy. It can manifest itself to everything living and non-living: to mother, wife, children, friends, to work. The list goes on and on. Constant control. Where did you go? What time did you arrive? Where were you? With whom? Oh, were there any other women there? Regularly checking your phone and all messages. Men don't like it when their personal space is encroached upon.
In order to avoid the desire to have a lover, you need to talk frankly with your husband. Explain what exactly is not working in the relationship and try to correct all the mistakes together. Perhaps it is necessary to diversify family everyday life and bring more bright colors into family life. Then you won’t have to think about how to get rid of your lover before your husband finds out anything.
One of the most effective ways to get rid of a lover is a woman’s frigidity in bed. A man often takes a mistress only to assert himself in sex or to gain new emotions and sensations from it. And if you limit access to your body, or yawn, doze off, or look at your watch boredly during sex, the lover’s ardor will cool down. Referring to constant headaches, women's days and other ailments, the lover's patience may burst, and he will begin to look for a replacement for his eternally ill partner. It is most difficult to part with a lover if the relationship has been going on for quite a long time and warm feelings remain in the heart.
The heart often does not want to listen to the mind and worries with constant thoughts and pleasant memories of this person. In this case, it is recommended to set yourself a specific choice - family or lover. What happens when the husband finds out about his lover? And if there are children in the family, the situation can be even more tragic. Making the right informed decision in favor of the family, a woman will make every effort to confront her conflicting feelings. To do this, you should find as many shortcomings as possible in this person and compare them with the advantages of your husband. What kind of lover would become a husband and father? Rare meetings and romantic dates are significantly different from family life. Is it worth losing what has been built up over the years for the sake of new fleeting sensations? It is much easier to break than to build.
Sometimes, fatigue from the family routine causes cracks in the relationship with your husband. It is recommended to explain to him the entire current situation, omitting the details. Only when two people show the desire and the necessary efforts to save the family, everything will work out. Confidence in your husband’s love, the sincerity of his feelings and a great desire to be there for the rest of his life will give you the strength to resist your lover and competently break off any relationship with him as quickly as possible. Before you decide to commit adultery, you need to think several times. Is it worth it? A fleeting affair and light flirting is one thing, but having a permanent lover is another. You should not deceive yourself, your husband or another man. Very rarely, when such novels end in a serious relationship, more often they lead to another disappointment. If you just want to have fun, then you should immediately agree that there will be no continuation.
A lover is a sexual partner with whom a woman is not in a legal relationship. Most often in the life of a married lady, he appears at a difficult moment in her family life. Relationships with him help you forget about home problems at the same time adding new troubles.
Before finding a lover and committing adultery, you need to think about your decision more than once. It is possible, even without an extra person, with some effort, you will be able to improve your personal family life. Relationships outside of marriage can go quite far and then it will be very difficult to separate from your lover. But if the final decision is made in favor of the family, you need to act immediately, resorting to various options for solving this problem.
He likes all your photos, tirelessly writes SMS and reads the classics with expression. With all his merits, one thing confuses you - you don’t like the guy or even dislike him. If you don't like it, throw it away. You can make a “lapel” competently without offending anyone.
I'm not worthy of you
no vacancies
if "ex" came back
a friend suddenly appeared
complete ignore
scandal girl
let's get married
your problem
How to send a guy off beautifully: by correspondence, on the street, everywhere
reel in a web fishing rod
hey passerby, come in
refuse him a date
universal formula
How to refuse a guy in a relationship: strategy and tactics
It's good that you're wondering how to turn a guy off without him being offended. Many people do not think about this, believing that refusal is an everyday matter. Like, this is how nature works. Spring follows summer. After the rain the grass turns green. The guy proposes, but the girl refuses. Indeed, you don’t have to bother and be like everyone else. There is another option - to send the guy off properly.
I'm not worthy of you
Moreover, the guy is not bad. He looks after, tries, is economical. Not gay. In the cafe he pays himself. Irons shirts. But it’s in the throat and that’s it. In every sense, an exemplary guy needs to be turned off gently - by laying down a straw, choosing the right words, without hurting his pride.
Refusing a guy gracefully means retreating in the style of “I’m not worthy of you.” Let him know that a model man like him deserves the best girl in the world - not you. Insist that the best option for developing relationships is friendship. This good guy will probably try to “dissuade” you with all his inherent heroism and dedication. Be unshakable: “You are an example of an ideal man. And you deserve a loving and devoted girl. I'm not that kind of girl. It's better for us to remain friends."
No vacancies
Another option to send a guy off nicely is to throw in “My heart belongs to someone else” between compliments. You can't order your heart. I love, they say, one - a slanted and lame one. And you, of course, are a guy in great demand. This is how a man should be left - full of confidence, energetic and inspired. True, there is a danger that the “ideal” one will try to compete for your heart, that is, he will turn from a sluggish suitor into an active one.
If the "ex" returned
It happens that the “ex” come back - they are sad, remembered, impatient. The exes usually return beautifully - with repentance, an armful of flowers and a picture of a bright future. And exactly at the very moment when you finally stopped crying and decided to start a new life. Whether to give a second chance or not depends on the situation. If the situation is unwatchable...
Option one is gentle. You can politely tell off a guy who was once run over by a tank like this: “Thank you very much for leaving. It was only thanks to this that I met the person I fell in love with. Sorry, there is no place for you in my life."
Option two is tough. Coldly and distantly, with a feeling of barely concealed boredom, say: “You know, you weren’t much of a lover. Only after comparing did I understand the difference. Now I won’t settle for anything less.”
A friend suddenly appeared
If a friend suddenly turns out to be an underground admirer who mustered the courage into his fists and was taken aback by a proposal to date, use maximum diplomacy.
You already know that refusing a guy a nice relationship means raising your self-esteem. Invite a friend to a private meeting, take your hand, look into their eyes and say, “I value our friendship. There can be a lot of guys. Friends like you are one in a million. Let's continue our friendship. We did it so well. Moreover, there is no passion between us.” Don’t have any illusions - you’re unlikely to remain friends. By the way, are you really sure that friendship is not the basis for a relationship?
Nietzsche wrote: “A good marriage rests on friendship.” Indeed, the foundation of relationships is trust, understanding and respect - in essence, friendship. Psychologists call a connection caused by emotions, attraction and passion a delusion. These are fleeting feelings that are not enough for a strong union.
How to get rid of an annoying guy: all means are good
If a guy is not impressed by the refusal either the first or the tenth time, but continues to stick to his line, put diplomacy in a box.
Complete ignore
If you can’t turn the guy off gently and persuasively, turn on ignore. Penetrates the impenetrable. Live as if he doesn't exist, and he will pretty quickly cease to exist for you. You can count the number of heroes talking to walls on one hand.
Scandal girl
Or vice versa - concentrate on what sticks. Demand, be jealous, throw tantrums. Bring down all the unbearable weight of character on him - and all that remains of the annoying one will be his heels sparkling on the horizon. And if you didn’t run away, grab this treasure and take it to the registry office.
Let's get married
By the way, about the registry office. Tell the obsessive that you dream of a bunch of pink-cheeked kids. That you want to live in a big house with all your relatives up to the third generation. That you sleep and see your husband chirping sweetly in the kitchen with your mother. Guess where the annoying boyfriend will be tomorrow? On the opposite side of the earth.
Your problem
My mother's apartment needs urgent repairs. A sick grandmother needs care. The salary is only enough for food, but it would also be necessary for treatment at the dermatovenous dispensary. The vast majority of guys won't be able to bear such a load. And if you can stand it, cynically draw the line: “You know, I need a man who will solve all my problems. Yes, I’m a materialistic piece of trash, so stay away from me.”
How to beautifully blow a guy off in any situation: from correspondence to the street
Refusing a guy without offending him is, in principle, simple. And this can be done in any situation, except for the one where the guy doesn’t get it quickly.
Reel in the web rod
The rating of which you can find at the link is a unique thing. It’s convenient not only to get acquainted here, but also to part ways. You can cool down your web partner's ardor with the message that you have a boyfriend. To the question “Then what have you lost here?” answer “I’m talking to my friends.” You can beautifully blow off a guy by correspondence with various white lies: “Sorry, I realized that I’m a lesbian,” “Mortgage and three loans – can you help?” “I am undergoing treatment from a venereologist.” Write whatever you want. Or don't write at all. Anything is possible on a dating site.
Hey passerby, come in
Now you will learn how to turn off a guy who, having gained experience in pickup truck courses, intends to meet you on the street, in a shopping center or other crowded place. First of all, a reference to haste and busyness: “Sorry, I’m in a hurry.” If the persecution continues, involve the “male shoulder” in the matter: “Do you think it is permissible for a married girl to meet guys on the street?”, “Are you sure you want to meet me? I have a great boyfriend - handsome and muscular. I can introduce you." It has been proven that assorted suitors disappear as quickly as sugar dissolves in boiling water, sensing the spirit of a potential boyfriend. At worst, you can pretend to be transgender or crazy.
Deny him a date
You can refuse a date to a guy on the grounds of being busy: “Unfortunately, I’m busy with school (work, raising a child, volunteering at an orphanage) and don’t go on dates right now.” The tactic of being always busy works with the same effectiveness as ignoring. The format of an exclusively business relationship can be described as follows: “I would be happy to have lunch with you, but I spend dinners with my boyfriend.” You can limit yourself to a neutral phrase: “For a number of reasons, I cannot accept the invitation.” And no “Maybe next time.” He will decide that he was not persistent enough.
Universal formula
And we come to the “lapel” formula, which every girl needs to memorize. This is a universal answer to the question of how to refuse a guy so that he doesn’t get offended. Remember: “Compliment. Program. Compliment".
“You are beautiful and smart (compliment). But I can't go on a date with you (program). I’m sure a lot of girls dream of going on a date with you (compliment).” Merge beautifully, leaving behind you not broken, but filled with delight hearts.
How not to refuse a guy: 3 popular mistakes girls make
Everyone makes mistakes, but a girl who tells a guy off should behave like a sapper in a minefield. At the very least, you definitely shouldn’t make these mistakes:
- speak rudely;
- say one thing and do another;
- talking, like writing on water with a pitchfork.
He bares his soul to you, and you were rude to him? An offended guy is dangerous. It’s good if revenge turns out to be just gossip behind your back. Now you know how to refuse a guy without him being offended. Through a compliment.
You say, “There can only be friendship between us,” but you wink your eye playfully and twitch your leg playfully? Of course, the search for phrases on how to beautifully blow a guy off will become endless. Be consistent in your words and actions.
“You know, I like being alone. It nourishes and inspires me. And what is the feeling of freedom worth! Inspires. Independence is my life principle. I chose this path and am walking this road.” If you try to get out of an awkward situation through “a lot of beech”, you are pulling the cat by the balls. More plot into the text.
It's nice to be in demand. So return the favor. Boost the self-esteem of the guy who boosted your self-esteem with his attention or feelings.
Many women dream of male attention, but in practice its excess often results in problems and troubles. Then the question arises: how to get rid of an annoying fan, so as not to offend him, and save your nerves? If words don't help, use simple psychological techniques.
How to get rid of an annoying man
Many girls, in an attempt to get rid of an annoying man, begin to behave defiantly and aggressively, but do not get the expected result. It's all about male psychology: young men often perceive such behavior and rudeness as a challenge. The instinct of a hunter and a winner forces them to pay attention even more actively. To avoid getting into this situation, use little tricks.
- Try to find out in the process of communication what irritates the annoying gentleman most, what shortcomings in the girl irritate and repel him. You need to find out everything unobtrusively so that the guy doesn’t suspect something is wrong, then start behaving in a way that will be unpleasant for him. Soon the suitor himself will run away from you, complaining about his blindness and sudden insight.
- Avoid any physical contact, pretend to be completely independent. Do not accept the hand offered when exiting a vehicle, do not allow someone to pay for you, etc. Show him that you need his help. This will be unpleasant for any man and will curb his ardor.
- Pretend that you don't understand his hints. This will only excite a mature adult man, but it will scare away a young man.
How to turn off an obsessive admirer
When psychological tricks and conversations do not help, you will have to deal with rudeness. To discourage an unwanted gentleman, there is no need to swear and mock him. You need to analyze your communication and gradually change it.
- Tell us about your fiancé (even if he doesn’t exist) and that you are planning to tie the knot. Most men prefer not to encroach on women who a priori belong to others.
- A good “stop” sign is a wedding ring: even if you haven’t visited the registry office yet, you can put any thin gold ring on the ring finger of your right hand. This makes it clear to men that the lady is busy.
- If you met on the Internet, you can simply stop responding to messages or blacklist the subscriber. There remains a risk that the strong interest in your person will not fade away and an unfamiliar suitor will try to write from a different page. In this case, you won’t be able to get rid of the obsessive fan quickly.
How to ward off an annoying boyfriend
Modern men, especially married ones, try not to associate their lives with wasteful and capricious women. You can quickly ward off an annoying boyfriend by demonstrating intrusiveness and demandingness. Ask him to pay for you in a cafe, demand expensive gifts, irritate him with your bad habits. Doesn't help? Then start getting acquainted with him and flirt with other guys. Do everything that he might not like. If this method of how to get rid of an obsessive man did not help, think: maybe he really loves you, and this is fate?
How to get rid of an annoying boyfriend
Sometimes the need to get rid of an annoying boyfriend also arises among unfree ladies. This could be a colleague at work, a casual acquaintance from social networks, or even a neighbor in the stairwell. The most effective method to put your gentleman in his place is to say that you are married. For most guys, this fact discourages them from appearing in your field of vision and wasting energy on flirting. In some cases, it may be worth asking your spouse/friend to meet you.
Video: how to get rid of an obsessive fan
Often in the lives of women there are situations when a married man begins to care for them. If being a mistress is acceptable to you, then this article is not for you. We will try to cover the topic of how you can beautifully refuse a man bound by marriage.
Reasons for refusal
If you are still racking your brains over whether or not to start a close relationship with a married man, here are a few arguments in favor of why you shouldn’t take this desperate step:
- Be prepared to be #2. No matter what your gentleman says, no matter what praises he sings to you, he will spend most of his time with his wife. You will only get “minutes of happiness” that you can snatch from time to time. He will be with his family all holidays and weekends, and you will remain alone and patiently wait until your chosen one deigns to appear. In addition, you are unlikely to be able to openly walk around the city and go to restaurants. In such relationships, meetings, as a rule, take place in the woman’s apartment, or the gentleman specifically rents housing for this;
- Mistress. As you know, public opinion evaluates love for a married person extremely negatively, so do not be surprised if you are elevated to the rank of homewrecker and family destroyer;
- Be patient a little and I'll get a divorce. Promises of this kind are the favorite mantra of married men who have relationships on the side. As a rule, this is limited to mere words, and it comes to action only in very rare cases. And in most cases, a man does not dare to leave his family, especially if there are children in it. And this promise serves more as an excuse to keep a girlfriend for secret meetings, and, as a rule, it does not lead to divorce;
- All good men are married. This artificially created myth successfully exists among women who are slightly over 30. For some reason, they decided that by this age men with good qualities have already been sorted out, and those who remained unmarried do not deserve attention. That's why women agree to be a mistress, as long as the man is caring and successful. Let us hasten to dispel this misconception. There are quite a few attractive men around who are not yet married and can make a very good match. You just need to look for them a little or take a closer look at your surroundings. But you shouldn’t perceive the situation as hopelessness, and from this become a mistress, because you probably deserve better;
- Take care of your nerves. When choosing a relationship with a married man, do not only expect pleasant romantic encounters, intense sex and gifts. The other side of the coin here is constant nervous tension and permanent jealousy. Yes, married people can lie, saying that their wife no longer means anything to him, their relationship has been consumed by everyday life, and he is in the family only because of the children. But let's face it, he spends more time with his wife and he goes to bed with her at night. Think about it, are you ready to put up with this?
How to refuse a married man gracefully
Learn to say a firm “no” in a soft form. To succeed in this field, you will need to use all your tactfulness skills and muster your courage. This will allow you to avoid prevarication and eliminate the state of uncertainty.
There is no need to be rude to a man and say that you don’t need him. The refusal should sound firmly, but in a friendly manner, so that his pride does not suffer. In the conversation, emphasize that this format of communication is unacceptable for you, and your position will not change over time.
If you come across an impressive admirer who loves to be the center of attention, then use his “Achilles heel” for a beautiful refusal. Such men cannot be treated harshly, otherwise it will be a personal disaster for him.
You need to shower him with compliments, tell him what a successful, interesting and versatile person he is. It is advisable to do this in public so that not only your fan can hear it. As a rule, men of this type want to assert themselves and simply test their strength by seducing another woman.
Therefore, give him the desired recognition of his abilities, but only in a slightly different form, and he will remain satisfied, and he will react quite calmly to the refusal of intimacy. The main thing is to tell him about it face to face, so that there are no unnecessary witnesses, and add a hint of regret in your voice, saying that you would like to, but you just can’t.
If you are faced with an energetic and assertive specimen, for whom only victory in sexual terms is important, then you need to act completely opposite. Men of this type are characterized by high temperament, perceive a woman exclusively as a sexual object, and they are not at all concerned about her psycho-emotional state.
Their credo is animal sex and adding to the collection of sexual victories. With such instances, the conversation should be short. It is necessary to refuse directly, clearly and without unnecessary explanation. Don't be afraid to offend such a suitor, because he won't take your refusal to heart.
Such men are not affectionate and do not experience deep romantic feelings, so refusal will practically not upset them. Having received a turn-around, they will simply go in search of more pliable women who will reciprocate their feelings.
And if you meet a fan on your way who is very persistent and threatens to use force if he refuses, then we recommend ringing all the bells. First, threaten in response that there is someone to protect you. Do it decisively and confidently. Don't be afraid. After all, on the part of a man, this can be feigned assertiveness, which he uses to manipulate you.
But it’s better to play it safe in case the obsessive admirer doesn’t go away and continues his persecution. It would also be a good idea to talk to friends in advance who you can turn to in an emergency. If your boyfriend knows where you live, try not to return home late alone, ask your friends to walk you to the door.
And under no circumstances let him into the apartment, even if he becomes hysterical and begs. This is just a way to influence your emotions, nothing more. But we hope that such situations will bypass you and you won’t have to resort to the last point of the recommendations.
Don't give a reason
And one more piece of advice: to prevent the question of how to properly refuse a married man from arising in the future, analyze your behavior. Perhaps, unwittingly, you gave the fan hope, and therefore he became more persistent in his offers. After all, quite often there are cases where women find a married man pleasant and attractive, and they convey this at the level of emotions and views.
At the same time, a woman is restrained by strict principles - not to have an affair with a gentleman who is tied by marriage. A situation arises called " and I want it, and it pricks" Thus, problems arise, for the solution of which we have to put our advice into practice.
