How to make the right choice in a relationship. How to make the right choice? Decision making methods

Every day we have to make dozens of decisions - to do this or that, agree or refuse.

And almost every time this is accompanied by doubts, worries and postponement of decision-making.

So how? make the right decision and learn to make the right choice?

Here are 10 ways.

1 - Just make the decision that you like.

According to statistics, 7 decisions out of 10 managers of large companies turn out to be wrong. 40% of companies that were included in the list of the 500 best companies in the world 20 years ago no longer exist.

Even the most successful and experienced people make mistakes very often.

So relax, make a decision and start taking action.

You need to understand that while you are thinking, you are standing still and wasting time.

You are not a sapper for whom any mistake is fatal.

Even if you make a mistake, you have a second, third, or as many attempts as you like. Plus, every time you do something, you gain knowledge, experience and better begin to understand how to make the right choice.

2 - Determine the price of your solution.

What happens if you do this or that and the choice turns out to be wrong? Write down the possible consequences and make a decision based on this. But you should know that a decision with minimal consequences often produces weak results.

For strategic tasks, it is a good idea to write down the possible consequences of your decision. With Canva, you can create an online decision tree that will help you visualize possible alternatives and make it easier to make the right decision. - https://www.canva.com/ru_ru/grafik/derevo-resheniy/

3 - Determine the best result - What decision will move you the most forward? Those who strive for more win in life. And those who are afraid to take risks are content with ordinary life. Think, maybe sometimes it's worth taking a risk. Yes, you can lose more. But you can get more. And even if you fail, you can always return to another decision. So go for it. Success favors the brave.

4 - Ask your subconscious - most people try to make a decision based on logic. But its capabilities are limited by the amount of information that is in the mind.

Use your subconscious. In the evening, think about your problem and possible solutions. And before going to bed, ask yourself - Which solution should you choose?

And in the morning you will wake up with a clear understanding of what is worth doing.

All our experiences are stored in our subconscious. And we only get access to it in our dreams. Plus, the subconscious can connect to the unified information field of the universe. Remember, Mendeleev discovered his table in a dream.

So ask your subconscious a question and go to bed. You will learn more about this technique in this video.

5 - Do something- To make the right decision you need to have certain information. But where can I get it? Books, videos, articles are just theories. The information you need will only be given by practical experience, which can only be obtained by doing something.

If you are in doubt or choosing from several options, just do something in the direction of each option. And you will immediately understand which solution is best for you.

6 - Ask a more successful person - Such a person can help you in literally 5 minutes. He knows and can do more than you. Look for successful people around you. Sign up for training. Ask your question on a thematic forum or group. The only thing is that you don’t need to ask everyone. Listen only to those who have actually solved problems similar to yours and have real life experience in overcoming them. But if there is no such person, then

7 - Imagine yourself as a super hero- Put yourself in the shoes of a person who is a symbol of confidence and success for you. And think about what solution he would choose.

Often, internal fears and doubts prevent you from making a decision. When you imagine yourself as a super hero, all this disappears and making a decision becomes much easier.

8 - Expand the number of options - Often people choose from 2-3 options. But there are many more possible solutions. Gather information, ask friends, think about other solutions. Such work will allow you to better understand the situation, expand your consciousness and allow you to choose the most informed decision.

9 - Let your brain sort everything out - Modern man decides a lot on the run, on emotions, in a time-poor mode.

But if you take a day of rest, calm down, stop thinking too much, then a lot becomes clearer and a decision is chosen by itself.

There is a good expression: morning is wiser than evening. So just disconnect from the problem, do something pleasant and make a decision with a fresh mind.

10 - Write down all the pros and cons and compare

Choose 2-3 options and write each on a separate sheet. And make a list of pros and cons. This clarifies a lot and it immediately becomes clear to you which solution is more beneficial for you.

That's all.

But remember, a decision is not a decision until you act on it.

To make it easier for you, here are 50 step-by-step instructions

Have you ever received a gift for which you thanked through gritted teeth, and after some time you realized how lucky you were with this thing? Often we do not immediately assess the significance of events in our lives correctly.

How to learn to make the right decisions when giving to what really deserves it, due to his ability Msome things can look tempting, and it’s not so easy to figure out which ones to focus on now and which ones to put off – maybe until the next life. After all, you can’t be two different people at the same time, just like you can’t be in two different places.

Perspective

The most important thing here is the ability to see things in perspective. Role momentary sensations is also important, sometimes we set them as our goal. However, more often than not, something else turns out to be more important - what happens to us after. After we talked to this person. Ate this food. We watched the film. They did something. The meaning and influence of various events on us is manifested only over time.

You know the popular consolation “Think about it, will you remember this in 5 years?” The secondary immediately fades into the background, but the main thing remains in sight. But sometimes we are so absorbed happening with us that we forget to answer this question.

With regard to perspective, it is worth remembering its two dimensions: depth and finitude.

Depth

What does this mean in terms of scale? all life? Yes, our life is not one day, but each individual day, one way or another, reflects it entirely. Do you want your whole life to be like this? Would you choose this for your entire life? How will this affect your future, because you will continue to live with this choice? Answering these questions when making a decision will show you care about yourself.

Limb

And this is a common method of thinking about death, remembering human life. Steve Jobs shared his experience of using it in his famous speech to Stanford graduates.

Our existence is Not infinite number of days. We rarely think about this because it is not easy to understand and accept the fact of our mortality. That the day will come when we will be gone. And the sun will continue to rise in the morning, the birds will continue to sing, but for someone else. Yes, it’s not easy to even think about it, let alone fully experience it! However, it is quite effective. After all exactly limitation something makes it so valuable. In this case, it is our time. And by being fully aware of this, we will make the right choices in life much more often.

Observation

The next point is probably already familiar to you. Listen to yourself. This is a skill that can and should be developed in oneself. For some this may be very difficult, because for observations you need to freeze for a while. Then you will be able to realize how something affects you. Knowing whether something specific is beneficial or harmful to you is very valuable.

Everyone has their own gradation of sensations that cause certain phenomena: “bad”, “normal”, “good”, “yes, this is just my heaven on earth”! In addition to the assessment pleasantries there is another side to the experience. How is it affects on us, who do we turn into as a result?

There are things that are incredibly tempting, but we can easily see that contact with them pulls us down.

And if we don’t see it, then those around us will tell us about it. Therefore, it is important to distinguish what level of pleasure you experience - soulful elation and enthusiasm or just pleasure, in which there is even something animalistic.

It's still worth watching what brings you satisfaction, evokes the emotion of meaning, fullness. This usually happens when you know something was done right and you feel good about it. After all, we all want to be needed, useful, and in one way or another, so this criterion will help you figure out what is truly important to you.

Learn to see

Sometimes things turn out differently. Something first makes us bewildered: “Why do I need this?”, and only then, having learned and appreciated, we find ourselves filled with gratitude. Moreover, it does not have to be some kind of misfortune, which then suddenly and unexpectedly turns into happiness. No, rather something, at first glance insignificant and

Usually it becomes clear quite quickly what's what. After all, it doesn’t take much time for a wolf to shed his sheep’s clothing, if that’s what he is. It’s the same with positive events that happen unexpectedly. Unless we ourselves prevent them from revealing themselves to us in all their beauty by complaining about their own. We thought this was good for us, but we got something else, perhaps even better, but we don’t want to admit it, because first we need to figure out why our(albeit more modest) desires were ignored.

Sometimes we are too caught up in protecting ourselves to accept that in reality we are much luckier than we expected. But when this finally happens, our heart is filled with joy and our soul with gratitude. Appreciate unplanned events like these. Things that came suddenly and made you happy. This will help you better recognize situations leading to them in the future and make the right choices in life.

Knowing yourself

What other skills are useful when you need to make a choice about what to give your attention and time to? First of all this. Exactly cognition, because we talked about knowledge above - what brings you satisfaction, joy, etc. Cognition is open process. It means you know something, but you never say it. You are always ready to try new ideas about yourself.

After all, our tastes and preferences change over time, and you may discover traits and predispositions in yourself that you had not noticed before. Until some events, for example, pull them out. You may suddenly realize what you would like to do. Such knowledge, even at the dream level, is already a great happiness if the knowledge is genuine. When you know, every day, it will be easy for you to make the right choice in your life, no matter what it is about.

Open approach

This open approach should be applied to other areas of life, not just self-image. It’s not for nothing that the slogan “you’ll never know” is so popular: until something happens, you will never know what it is, how it is, and what it can lead to.

Of course, everyone has personal experience, knowledge of themselves and their preferences, but you can’t step into the same water twice. Every time everything is a little different. Therefore, when there is an opportunity, do not reject a new offer right away - give it a little time to prove itself and help you feel whether you need it or not. This is a good habit, if only because the ability to make the right choice is closely related to slowness. This doesn't mean you set aside two days, lock yourself in a room, and make endless lists of pros and cons. 🙂

No, that's what you're saying quality In life, quantity is more important to you. And what are you?

Flexibility

To make the right choice, it is important to be able to calmly accept. You can't cook scrambled eggs without breaking eggs! To do this, you must first invest something. To hear a yes, you must have the strength to go through a certain number of nos. Losses are inevitable.

By accepting this and not considering it “in vain,” we become truly flexible and capable of making the right choices in the most incredible circumstances of life.

Respect for what's important

You always make the right choice themselves. Advice, opinions, views of others can help. But not by the ones who will do it for you - It’s easier to make choices in life if you know what options are available.

The only right choice that I would like to make a priori for you is self-respect. It's hard to live when you don't respect yourself. It’s difficult to build relationships with people when you can’t treat them with respect – and how can you do otherwise when you don’t respect yourself. It’s hard to believe in someone’s good attitude towards you.

So if you don't know where to start when making any important choice, start with this: respect yourself.

And this means respecting those things that are important to you. Take the time you need to figure this out, you have the right to do so. And while you do this, others will wait without any questions.

Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of our psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate life and make choices, solve complex issues and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you understand everything with utmost accuracy.

Questions of choice confront us every day. It is especially difficult to make a choice if it can affect your life scenario or change your relationships with people. Favorite thing or work for money? Mistress or wife? How to make a choice so as not to make a mistake? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help you make a choice of any complexity.

This article is about those for whom making the right choice is an important and difficult matter. Read on if:

you are not used to doing all the “goof-ups”, you need to find out all the details, figure it out, think about it, and then make a decision;

in your profession and other life issues you act thoroughly, without haste;

if you need to make the right choice, ask respected people for advice;

It is important for you not to make a mistake - the decision must be made once and for all, not changed, it must be immediately correct, the best possible.

It's interesting that for some people the choice comes easy. Why? Our behavior is determined by the characteristics of our psyche. And the more accurately you understand your own nature and the nature of other people, the easier it will be for you to navigate life and make choices, solve complex issues and predict the outcome of events. System-vector psychology will help you understand everything with utmost accuracy.

Making a choice is not a difficult task for everyone

So, men and women who have , do not rack their brains about how to make the right choice, which option will be the best and correct, they think about how not to make a mistake. Being physically and mentally flexible, even when choosing a job or relationship, a wife or mistress, they do it easily and quickly. They rely on rational judgments, instantly assess the benefits and benefits.

How to make the right choice if you are a perfectionist

But perfectionists by nature are men and women with. It is important to them that everything is done perfectly and correctly. It is better to spend more time to go through all the options, eliminate the wrong ones, and only then decide on a decision.

We turn to expert opinion

Due to their innate mental characteristics, it is difficult for them to make a choice. They are not leaders, their natural tasks are different - they have quality, they are executive and need to initiate the first step.

In childhood, being obedient children, they wait for advice and tips from their mother. Having become adults, owners of the anal vector often continue to seek the opinion of an authoritative person who will help them decide and help them not make mistakes and make the right choice. They discuss difficult, complex issues with those who command their respect. Who has experience? This helps to make the right choice when it comes to the professional field. But if the choice concerns your personal life, then no one can know what is best for you!

Any advice will be based on the experience of the adviser, his values ​​and preferences, but this will not necessarily be good for you, because you have your own values ​​and preferences.

Therefore, it is extremely important for you to understand what you really want, then you can achieve it.

The key to the right choice. How to become an expert in your life

How to make the right choice if, for example, you are choosing a life partner? What to rely on? System-vector psychology provides irreplaceable knowledge here, helping to deeply understand the psyche - one’s own and that of others. Already at the first contact with a guy or girl, you can easily find out what character traits a person has (loyal or fickle, kind or not, emotional or reserved, what he will love and what he will strive for, what is important to him and what is not so important) ), what life scenario awaits you as a couple, etc. And so on in everything. You will be able to make a choice of profession, place of work, negotiation tactics, methods of education, or anything - when you understand the human psyche, there are no unanswered questions for you. This is confirmed by numerous people who have undergone training in system-vector psychology.

What prevents us from making a choice?

In addition to a natural reluctance to make decisions, the owner of the anal vector can be hampered by childhood psychological trauma, overstress, and resentment. Then:

he becomes pathologically indecisive;

fear of the future, fear of change only strengthens him in his decision not to change anything;

he cannot bring himself to act. Infinitely any important matter.

As a result, he becomes unable to even choose between two toothbrushes in the store.

With the help of system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan, you can get rid of such a serious condition. This is evidenced by the results of many people:

“When you see something unfinished, fear no longer arises, quite the opposite: a pleasant feeling of what now needs to be completed, finished. And the moment of starting, moving from a dead center, is especially pleasant. But this is precisely what made me suffer so much. Positive experience is being gained. There is already a feeling inside that I can achieve what I want. I began to want more, to dream about more. Confidence has appeared..."

There are often situations in our lives when we find ourselves in the grip of a choice and don’t know how to make the right choice in life, how to make the right decision. Another version of the problem is when the choice is not clear, and we are forced to “suffer” with the question: how to make exactly the right choice.

What's the difference? In the first case, the unknown of both options paralyzes, in the second, fear. Fear of making mistakes and making the wrong decision...

If we approach this issue psychologically, then both classes of situations are resolved through a detailed study of all information regarding the elections. And your reactions to this information.

How to make a choice and make the right decision (analytically)

Analytical example, step by step:

1. You write down your choices and use arrows to write down all their consequences.
2. After that, you switch, then sit in a calm state and begin to mentally live through each version of the written consequences, noting for yourself all the discomfort that arises. And in writing forming a conditional scale from 1 to 10 next to each.
3. Then look at the approximate total “score” next to each option that turned out.
4. You realize and analyze what you can really influence for the better.
5. Highlighting steps and goals. And choosing the right decision.

The right decision in life (emotional)

Another option is emotional, how to do: You live with every choice in life all day long. From morning to evening. It's like you've already chosen it. And note your emotions, thoughts and states from this. Write them down throughout the day.

After living through all the options, you analyze (by calculating in writing) the overall emotional scale and realize where the most emotions were manifested and their intensity.

How to make the right choice (karmically and energetically)

Third option: how to make choices in life, taking into account karmic tendencies, the yogic-energetic method

Firstly, from a yogic point of view, all our actions and choices are the consequences of our other actions and situations. The so-called karma. Therefore, both choices are essentially some kind of karmic consequences. Secondly, the point is not only that make the right choice, but also to deal with your condition, indecision, fear, which create this “crossroads”.

The main task is to understand the causal state or scenario, the so-called “karmic root” of the situation, and then make a choice.

Live understanding of the possibilities and pitfalls of choice in Kyiv you can during .

An alternative way is remotely: I can help you clarify the situation with the help of a special model synthesized from Indian Siddha Yoga and NLP modeling:

Remote service: “karmic cause and consequences of choice.”

What is used: traditions of India, NLP models, modeling of future lines.

What does it show: 1. subtle “causal” roots of the situation, 2. karmic options for the development of the situation from two choices, or when there is option A: do something or B: not do something.

For example:

Question: to divorce or not to divorce in the near future. A.’s choice is “get a divorce”, everything is clear here. And B.’s choice is “not to get a divorce,” it includes all the other options: find someone, wait it out, switch, etc. If desired, they require a separate analysis.

What will it lead to as a result? the main question of choice, in this case, divorce now or not now, becomes absolutely clear. The same thing happens if you start doing something else.

Additionally, the reasons are “visible” (“ karmic root") in general of the whole situation in a person’s karma, the answer to the question: why is this all for me or « how I created this for myself in life, why do I need this.”

How does remote selection diagnostics work:

1. You send your request to the email indicated below. You receive an answer, instructions and payment details (methods).
2. You pay for the service and send me the sources of information indicated by me.
3. I am reading the energy and karmic field. I am sending you a transcript of the reasons for your choice and the consequences that you can choose. Volume approximately 1.5-2 pages.
4. You can go to a closed section (or social network) and ask clarifying questions. Or do it by email.

Who does it (qualifications, experience):

Certified trainer of special programs, certified teacher of Himalayan Siddha Yoga. I independently traveled to the most “non-tourist” places in India and studied personally with the founder of NLP, Richard Bandler. And also from many other, best in their field, specialists in psychotechnics and spiritual practices.

Price:$50 at the current rate, (full analysis of the choice: 3-5 pages in Word.doc format and additional explanations if necessary)

For a preliminary consultation or to request and receive payment options, please send an email to

Making choices can be difficult, especially when you are in a critical situation. Whether you need to choose a life partner, a career path, or a new car, you're probably afraid of making the wrong decision. Try to be thoughtful about this process so you can clear your mind and look at both options objectively. Then compare the pros and cons of each solution. Your gut feeling will help you make the right choice.

Steps

Be thoughtful about your decision-making process

1. Compare both options

   1. Make a list of pros and cons for each option to see which is best for you. Write a list with two columns for each option: one with the pros and one with the cons. List the advantages and disadvantages of your choice of each option. When you're done, calculate which option has more "pros" and which choice will provide you with more benefits.

      • Quite often, even the process of making a pros and cons list helps you understand your feelings more clearly. You may find that you want to add more pros to one of the options so that you can make an informed choice in favor of that option.
      • You should not consider the situation of choice itself as something negative. When you give preference to one option or another, look at it on the positive side - you are making a great choice! This will help you understand what you are more in tune with.

   2. List the negative consequences of each choice to avoid mistakes. Make a list of possible unpleasant consequences for each option (short and long term). This is a great way to narrow down your options if you have two good options and can't go wrong.

      • Consider any options that may be closed to you if you choose one of the options.
      • For example, if you live in Moscow and are planning to move to Rome, you will not have the opportunity to get an education at a local university, because you will be abroad.

   3. Use your gut instinct to come up with a pros and cons list. Make a single list of all the benefits for both possible options. Then quickly look through the list and assign only one option to each item. Don't get hung up! Just trust your intuition. Then look through the resulting list again and think about which option will provide you with more benefits.

      • Perhaps both options can provide some benefits. But the purpose of this exercise is to decide which option will better help you achieve your goals and realize your dreams.
      • For example, suppose you are choosing between two options for where to spend your vacation. Perhaps visiting these places is on your list of things to do while you are alive. You can make a list of things you need to do in your life right from the lists where all the pros are listed. Taking a quick look at this list, you may find that one direction or option offers a more desirable life experience than another.

   4. Use professional resources to objectively compare the two options. If you're deciding between two products, find a reliable customer review site (such as otzovik.com). The two options can be compared based on product characteristics, operating safety, and customer satisfaction with the product.

      • Review websites are a great way to get a clear picture of a product and prioritize the most important aspects that will influence your decision.
      • For example, if you are choosing between two child car seats and your priority is safety, you will be able to make a decision based on an objective comparison using this method.

   5. Find out if you really only need to choose one of the two options. Consider whether you could do both by scheduling both activities into your schedule or alternating between them. Sometimes it may seem to us that two options contradict each other, but, in fact, it turns out that they can harmonize perfectly.

      • For example, you feel like you have to choose between violin lessons and playing soccer on a team, when in fact you could do both on different days.