We break stereotypes. Not what they were forced to do! And never to the detriment of yourself, otherwise this sacrificial position can completely “de-energize” you.

The word "stereotype" was coined to refer to a printing form, a cliché for printing machines, by printing workers.

Literally from the ancient Greek language, “stereotype” is translated as “solid volumetric imprint.” Later, this word began to be used as a metaphor for habitual, patterned thinking. Stereotypes of people have come to mean a stable opinion about something or someone that has developed in society.

How stereotypes appear

The existing stereotypes represent stable, habitual, formed under the influence of society and personal experience, a person’s views on life.

There are a lot of social stereotypes; in all spheres of life there are such established clichés of thinking. For example: money spoils a person, a woman cannot be both beautiful and smart at the same time.

Stereotypes are templates, samples, models and patterns of behavior caused by simplified thought processes. A person does not think, but uses an inference about a particular phenomenon that he already has in his mind. This happens automatically, unconsciously, without the ability to understand what is happening in detail.

If there are a lot of such simplified routes of thoughts, a person’s worldview is limited, narrowed and acts as an obstacle to.

The stereotypes of our distant ancestors came to us in the form of laconic proverbs and sayings, which contain worldly wisdom. Such wisdom in the form of succinct figurative sayings has been helping a person understand life for centuries. Stereotypes of people appear and are consolidated in modern society in order to make life easier, help one navigate it, find the right path, and prevent mistakes.

Without thinking stereotypes, personal knowledge of the world would be difficult. Every time a person would have to use his mind to understand the nature of phenomena; his whole life would consist of knowledge alone.

At the same time, stereotypes help to understand the diversity of life manifestations and contribute to a person’s successful adaptation in society.

The positive role of a stereotype as an adaptive phenomenon may shift towards a negative or limiting perception of life.

Where is the line between a perception pattern that helps you live and a stereotype that infringes on your thinking? To answer this question, you need to understand the variety of stereotypes in society.

Classification of thinking stereotypes

The formation of stereotypes occurs from the moment a person is born. For babies, clothing colors are chosen that “recommend” their gender; boys are dressed in blue, girls in pink.

Many existing stereotypes of thinking can be classified according to the thought process that causes them:

Generalization. In its normal manifestation, this is a useful logical operation; in its excessive manifestation, it is a “stigma” that is imposed on phenomena that are different in nature. Generalization involves drawing conclusions from several similar situations; overgeneralization draws conclusions from a single incident. Such a generalization makes thinking rigid, inflexible, and limited.

Too frequent formation of stereotypes caused by generalization of personal qualities and character traits can lead to self-doubt and the ensuing consequences.

Example. If a person fails to win a talent competition once, he develops an opinion of himself as mediocrity.

Categorization. Categorization by types and types is intended to structure a certain set and divide it into groups. Excessive categorization leads to ignoring individuality, characteristics, and uniqueness.

Categorization puts a “label” on a person and gives a general negative assessment, without taking into account his experience and personality. There are categories of bad, dishonest, evil, deceitful, greedy people and so on. Categorization deprives the possibility of objective perception when someone else's subjective opinion is taken as the truth.

Example. A mother-in-law is always a person who does not like her son-in-law.

"Black and white" thinking. A diverse, constantly changing world is squeezed into the concepts of “good - bad”, “true - false”, “right - wrong” and other polar categories. If you use only two assessments in life, “good” and “bad,” to characterize phenomena, life becomes a series of black and white stripes and mixes into one continuous grayness.

Life is not bad or good, it is made so by polar thinking, the consequences of which are pessimism, maximalism, excessive perfectionism, depression, lack of meaning and values.

Example. When a person has internalized the stereotypes of society that divorce is a negative, condemned act, that it is harder for divorced people to find a partner and afford a new relationship, he may remain in a marriage that is burdensome and brings only suffering, instead of looking for new love and becomes happy.

Errors of perception. A person mistakenly focuses on some aspects of a phenomenon and ignores others. Such biased selectivity leads to the fact that a person does not perceive an alternative, the possibility of a different opinion and the existence of other facets of a phenomenon, and does not know how to think critically. Egocentric thinking, egoism, dogmatism, stubbornness, conservatism, and fanaticism develop. Personal or other authoritative opinion is defined as an absolute truth and ideal that cannot be refuted.

Example. Unshakable, blind and reckless devotion to the idea of ​​​​any social movement.

Inflated expectations. Insidious social stereotypes lie in people’s inflated, unreasonable expectations. This is how utopias and unattainable ideals are born. The value and significance of individual phenomena is extolled and perceived as a desirable goal.

As a result, stress, disappointment, resentment, frustration and a lot of others. Inflated expectations about another person lead to quarrels, conflicts and even breakups.

Example. The girl is waiting for her “prince on a white horse,” who is necessarily handsome, rich and in love with her.

Ways to break stereotypes of thinking

The role of a stereotype can be negative in its impact, limiting thinking so much that it interferes with the normal functioning of the individual. In this case, there is a desire to get rid of the stereotypes of life that interfere with life itself.

It is necessary to monitor the thoughts and emotions that arise here and now, and focus on the personal experience of what is happening.

Ways to get rid of the negative influence of thinking stereotypes:

Comparison. Comparison involves analyzing a situation, comparing it with others, finding differences and contradictions. There is no need to rush to think in familiar categories when you can think, reflect on what is perceived at the moment and compare it with what is already known.
Setting realistic goals. In order to be less exposed to outside influence, you need to form personal positive stereotypes of life. They can be in the form of realistic, achievable life goals and values.
Openness of perception. To be able to perceive a phenomenon as a whole, look at it as if for the first time, rediscover new facets of the known and carefully study everything new that the world around us provides.

Critical thinking. You need to be able to ask questions: “Is this really true?”, “Does this thought contradict common sense?”, “Do I agree with what I am used to thinking, hearing, perceiving as truth?” and other similar issues.
Expanding your horizons. You can get rid of stereotypes by developing, learning new things, expanding your horizons, going beyond the usual boundaries of your comfort zone. Interest in learning and acquiring new experiences contributes to the formation of one’s own views and opinions that differ from the generally accepted ones.

These techniques will help you get rid of a specific stereotype that interferes with your life, as well as the habit of thinking in a stereotyped, biased and narrow way.

The new year has arrived and I want to dedicate my first post to breaking stereotypes that we quickly get used to but take a long time to get rid of.

It just so happens that we all live according to rules established by someone, which we may not like at all, but we continue to live in the old way by inertia. Why? After all, these rules do not bring us any benefit and can only serve as an obstacle to real success and a happy life.

When we see a successful, self-confident person living the way he wants, then deep down in our souls we dream of becoming the same. But what needs to be done for this? Break the usual stereotypes! It is the people who break stereotypes who achieve the greatest success in life. Breaking stereotypes not in a rash impulse, but in harmony with oneself and nature.

I want to tell you about 61-year-old Cliff Young, whose mind was free of “beliefs” that could limit him. This helped him become the winner of the marathon and make the whole of Australia fall in love with him.

Australia hosts an international running marathon every year. Runners cover the 875 kilometer distance from Sydney to Melbourne in five days. In order to run such a long distance, world-class athletes train long and hard under the guidance of experienced coaches. In addition, sponsors of major sports brands provide athletes with special sneakers and uniforms. The average age of participants is 30 years.

The 1983 marathon was remembered by participants and spectators for its unexpected start and finish. On the day of the start, an elderly man named Cliff Young to get your member number. He was wearing ordinary work overalls and galoshes over his boots. Everyone was perplexed and asked the question, “How can you run in such clothes?” However, Cliff, number 64, was already on the starting line with the other athletes.

Then the film crew reporting from the race site decided to conduct a short interview with him. They pointed a camera at Cliff and asked:
- Hello! Who are you and what are you doing here?
- I'm Cliff Young. We raise sheep on a large pasture near Melbourne.
-Are you really going to take part in this race?
- Yes.
- Do you have a sponsor?
- No.
- Then you won't be able to run.
- No, I can do it. I grew up on a farm where we couldn't afford horses or a car until very recently: only 4 years ago I bought a car.
When a storm was approaching, I went out to herd the sheep. We had two thousand sheep grazing on two thousand acres of land. Sometimes I caught sheep for 2-3 days - it was not easy, but I always caught them. I think I can participate in the race because it is only 2 days longer and is only 5 days, whereas I run for sheep for 3 days.

The marathon began and... the professionals left Cliff Young far behind. This was not surprising, because they carefully prepared for the race. Professional athletes knew that in order to overcome the distance, it is necessary to run 18 hours a day and be sure to sleep 6 hours. But Cliff didn't know that! He ran for the first 24 hours without stopping to sleep, reaching the town of Mittagong. However, he was still behind everyone.

Along the way, Cliff Young greeted spectators standing on the side of the road. He didn't know that the audience was divided into two camps. Some sympathized with him and prayed that he would not die on the way, while others laughed at his clothes, age, inept start...

With each subsequent night, Cliff got closer to the leaders of the race and on the final night he beat all the famous athletes. The closer the finish line was, the further away the rest of the race participants remained. Cliff Young not only won the marathon, but also broke the world record, covering the 875 kilometer distance in 5 days, 15 hours and 4 minutes. He became a national hero and the King of the multi-day marathon.

Cliff didn't need prizes because he was in the marathon to win, not for money. He didn't even know about their existence! And therefore, when he was awarded the first prize of 10 thousand Australian dollars, he without hesitation decided to give 2 thousand to the first five runners who finished after him. Cliff didn't keep a cent for himself.

Here's the story... The man wanted to win and he won. Using the example of Cliff Young, life taught everyone a lesson - a person’s capabilities are beyond his own limitations and all you need is to believe in yourself and not be afraid to break stereotypes!

Today we will talk about human stereotypical thinking. What are stereotypes and how to break them.

I recently met a friend whom I had not seen for many years, and he told me his story about how he changed his stereotypical thinking. Therefore, I will conduct the dialogue in the second person.

Stereotypes and beliefs

Our thinking is buried in stereotypical beliefs. I try to constantly catch myself thinking about why I answered “no” instead of “yes” in each specific situation. After all, in order to manage and, you need to catch a thought and work on it. In the endless chaos of thoughts that arise regardless of my desires as a reaction to everything that is outside, I try to fix any thought that encourages me to reject something. What do I mean?

Sometimes we promise ourselves that from tomorrow we will approach something in a new way: we will start playing sports, go on a diet, give up smoking, make a new acquaintance, make peace with a work colleague, etc.... The reaction of rejection of the creative principle lies within each of us until we begin to break our own beliefs and stereotypes.

Just yesterday, my wife suggested that, as a preventative measure, I should drink a healing decoction with her in the morning, which she purchased from a famous healer. I, of course, gave verbal consent. After all, there is nothing wrong with this if many people drink this decoction and respond only positively. But when the time came to drink it, especially after learning about its disgusting aftertaste, the first thing I said was: “I don’t feel like it.” As soon as I said this, the thought immediately arose in my head that yesterday I myself voluntarily agreed to take part in the family ritual of drinking a healthy drink.

This is just one of the cases that first came to my mind now. If we delve deeply into our promises, we are unlikely to ever fulfill a good half.

Why does this happen

What is it: or just an unwillingness to change something? In any case, I have developed for myself one simple but effective method of dealing with such manifestations of reluctance, reluctance and rejection.

Controlling my own speech helps me with this. I have not yet reached those heights where I can control my thoughts, I am just learning. For now, I decided to come to grips with something that is more or less within the control of every person - to control the product of our thoughts - speech.

How to control thoughts

As soon as I say the word “no” to a certain request or instruction, I try to give a command to my brain, something like “stop”. To stop chasing the chaotic stream of brain activity around your head and catch the word you just threw. I record this “no” and analyze it. As a rule, any spoken “no” appears inertially and reflexively. But having clothed itself in verbal-sound form, it appears in this world.

To be a productive person, you need to develop the habit of acting in spite of your own reflexive denials. Only in this way, leaving a comfortable state, can you develop your activity beyond recognition.

Do you think I drank the decoction?

As soon as the denial came out of me, I immediately recorded it. I got up and headed to the kitchen, following the words of my wife, who was almost disappointed in my words. I took the glass and drank it to the bottom. “Yummy!” – I said with a smile.

On the same day, my son came up to me asking me to play football with him on the playground for half an hour. Inertia squeezed out “No time.” But fixation and instant analysis of the negation helped to continue the sentence “..., but for the sake of such a matter one can be distracted.” What kind of manager am I if I can’t plan my own time?

If you think about it this way, we all constantly lack time. There is no time for change, for development, for success. We are simply mired up to our necks in everyday life and bustle, and our consciousness is clothed with negative word forms at lightning speed. And if you are ready for change, start acting illogically in relation to the words that our consciousness offers as the primary answer. After all, in order to do so, you need to put in maximum effort and patience.

Bye everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.

A stereotype (Greek stereos + typos – “solid” + “imprint”) is an established attitude towards current events, developed on the basis of comparison with their internal ideals. A system of stereotypes constitutes a worldview. Stereotypes, like established opinions, sometimes carry an emotional charge. Both useful and positive, and not so much.
There are many stereotypes that live in a person’s subconscious. They manifest themselves in his behavior, lifestyle and often interfere with living a full life. From childhood, a child is taught what to do and what not to do. What he should be like, how he should behave. Traditional roles imposed by public opinion are subsequently transformed into a variety of stereotypes.

From the moment of birth, a certain type of behavior is imposed on the child. Boys should play with soldiers and cars, girls with dolls. And no one gives them freedom of choice in terms of toys. The same thing happens in adult life. Only now the number of stereotypes is increasing. The desire to comply with social regulations often runs counter to a person’s true intentions and gives rise to various negative derivatives in him: anxiety, fear, anger, aggression. To cultivate positivity in yourself, you need to break down established opinions and labels. The peculiarity of stereotypes is that they penetrate very firmly into a person’s consciousness and are difficult to get rid of. These are barriers to happiness, barriers that must be overcome.

How are stereotypes formed? They are formed mainly spontaneously, from early childhood. By communicating with people, the child learns the norms and rules of thinking. Just as a person learns to speak in contact with other people, he also learns to think. People are brought up in certain political, moral, aesthetic spheres of society, which shape their views and beliefs. In the same way, they are brought up in the intellectual, mental sphere of a certain social group or social environment. Under the influence of such an environment, human thinking skills are primarily developed. The initial, initial sphere (spiritual beginning) for a child is the family.

From the family, the child “photographs” the ready-made forms and ways of thinking that his relatives present to him in communication with him. At this stage, there is precisely “photography” of these forms and ways of thinking without their critical awareness. A child, like a sponge, absorbs everything. These forms and methods of reasoning enter his subconscious and settle in him in the form of ready-made stereotypes of thinking. The forms and ways of thinking that have settled in the subconscious can be both logically correct (meeting the requirements of the laws of thinking) and logically incorrect (developed in violation of these laws). If the logical culture of thinking of relatives is high, then the forms and ways of thinking of the child are as logically correct as possible. If the culture is low, then in many ways the child learns logically incorrect ways. And, accordingly, the stereotypes of thinking are the same.

Let's take a look at the main individual and social stereotypes

Stereotype #1
"Children must live up to their parents' expectations"

Starting from the first months of life, the child becomes aware of himself through his relationship with his parents. This spiritual connection continues throughout life. The parent acts as a bearer for the child of established stereotypes, social norms and rules. In addition, he projects the future of a little man who is open to all kinds of influences. The process of parental influence occurs continuously and forms the baby’s own picture of the world. It is from mom and dad, grandparents, that children receive information about their appearance, abilities and talents. Through the prism of these assessments, the child learns about what behavior is desirable and what is not.

Scenario A - expectations are too high
Parents know well what they want from their child and strive with all their might to achieve it. They constantly set tasks for him that the baby simply must cope with. If he fails to cope, he will inevitably face the discontent of his parents. This situation keeps the child in constant tense anticipation: whether he managed to please his parents or not. In later life, he will always strive to be the first, to achieve high results at any cost, and any failure will lead, at a minimum, to frustration (failure).

Scenario B - expectations are too low
As a child, such a child constantly hears from his parents: “you can’t”, “you won’t be able to”, “you won’t succeed like ...” As a result, he stops striving for his goals and does not try to achieve even very achievable results . The habit of shifting responsibility to other people will become so ingrained that a person will always follow this principle.

How to break the stereotype?
Parents should perceive their children not as bearers of some talents, but accept them for who they are. Soberly assess their strengths and capabilities, do not put pressure, but be ready to always come to the rescue and give advice.

Every person is influenced to one degree or another by family stereotypes. If the behavior program imposed by parents is not suitable for solving various life situations, you need to try to change your original settings. Do not adapt to the opinions of others, but find your own, complete picture of the world.

And finally, here are the words of the creator of Gestalt therapy, Frederick Perls:
"I do my thing. And you do yours. I do not live in this world to meet your expectations. And you do not live in this world to meet mine. You are you, and I am me. And if we If we happen to find each other, that’s great. If not, then it can’t be helped.”
It’s the same with a child: he doesn’t owe anyone anything and is not obliged to live up to his mother’s and father’s expectations. Parents need to focus their energy on developing the abilities inherent in nature, and not molding the child into what they would like to see. Children are the most important thing in life. These are small individuals, they are valuable in themselves, regardless of parental attitudes.

As a child grows up, the formation of his ways of thinking is influenced by other social environments and, above all, educational institutions. For most people, thinking stereotypes are generally formed by the end of their education in educational institutions. Their culture of thinking is much higher than in the average family. And only among people professionally engaged in intellectual activity, the development of logical culture continues for the rest of their working life. Stereotypes of thinking are deposited in a person’s subconscious. It is the subconscious, based on these stereotypes, as activity programs, that controls the thinking process. This is why a person is often unable to give himself an answer to the question of why in a given case he reasoned this way and in another, differently. One gets the impression that thinking proceeds as if by itself.

Stereotype No. 2
"The school should educate the child"

Most parents today have a certain stereotype in their perception of school. By sending a child to an educational institution, many mothers and fathers abdicate responsibility for their upbringing. And a private school often further reinforces this stereotype: I pay, so everyone owes me.

So what contribution does school make to the development of a child?
Its task is to provide assistance in the upbringing and formation of the child’s personality, and not to assume all educational and educational functions!
The school system as a whole exists based on standards and stereotypes. Democratic and alternative models are much less common. The child fits into the established framework of school life and tries to “find himself” throughout the ten years of schooling. Does school education and upbringing create conditions for the fulfillment of the child’s needs for a constant search for something new, for qualitative growth, and for building oneself as an individual? It is impossible to give a definite answer to this question. But I would still like to note that individual education and upbringing carries much more profound properties than a school. Firstly, it provides freedom of choice, which provides conditions for constant self-development. Secondly, it is based on partnership and equality, and not on pressure and the imposition of the only correct model of worldview. There are many examples in history when famous people did not attend educational institutions, but pursued their education on their own.

Thus, Maxim Gorky was sent to school at the age of seven, where he studied for several months, and then, having contracted smallpox, he quit his studies and never resumed his studies in any school. The writer acquired all his knowledge through self-education. J.V. Goethe was also not a diligent student - he received his initial education and upbringing in the family.

“A friend of mine educated her children at home,” says our reader Maria. “Her girls are superbly educated and well-mannered. They speak two languages, both went to university. They have no problems communicating with people. So school is not is always an indicator that the child will be well brought up and brilliantly educated. I believe that schooling fetters freedom of choice and does not allow the development of all the abilities that are inherent in a person by nature.”

How to break the stereotype?
Reconsider your parental position and accept responsibility for the born child. When making any decision (enrolling in a kindergarten, finding a nanny, and then choosing a school), parents are obliged to predict and adjust their plans with reality.

And their most important purpose in life is to learn to raise their children throughout their lives! After all, children and their upbringing require daily dedication, warmth, care and love. What you give is what you get in return, so try to give them as much as possible!

Stereotype No. 3
"The nanny does not educate, but looks after"

Many parents, as well as grandparents, consider it their duty to raise their child “correctly,” each putting their own spin on the concept of “correct.” Meanwhile, true education implies, first of all, freedom: freedom of choice, self-expression, and search for one’s place in life. No matter how strange it may sound, all of the above is largely given to the child... by the nanny. Let's remember the story. In Russia, many children from birth until entering educational institutions were raised by nannies and governesses, who were full members of the family: they ate at the same table with the owners of the house, raised children, and often for more than one generation.

There are many examples in history when famous people were raised by nannies. It’s worth at least remembering Pushkin’s nanny Arina Rodionovna, who became a legend, a symbol of devotion and love for her pupil. And the poet considered the nanny the closest person. Not knowing his mother's affection, he greatly appreciated her love and treated her with filial tenderness. Pushkin wrote to his friends: “In the evening I listen to my nanny’s fairy tales and thereby compensate for the shortcomings of my damned upbringing. She is my only friend, and only with her I am not bored.” Tolstoy, Turgenev, Bunin expressed their sincere gratitude to nannies in their works.

Interesting fact. In the UK, working mothers prefer to hire men to care for their children. Experts agree with this and encourage hiring male nannies. So, for example, for a child of a single mother, a “mustachioed nanny” may be the only male role model in the first years of life.

A good nanny is an irreplaceable person. She believes that children are always open, she respects their rights and takes them into account. She strives to ensure that every day teaches something new and is determined that her upbringing leaves a good mark on the child’s soul. Such a nanny is sure that the child has enormous creative potential. She tries to open the whole world for him. So each of us should remember: a nanny is not just a nurse and teacher, but also a life teacher. It is only important to find that person who will give himself entirely to the child, without reserve, and will become a real guide to a great life.

How to break the stereotype?
Modernity actively dictates its own rules. Not taking this into account means not keeping up with the fast pace. It's no secret that many fathers are unable to support their family alone. Wives most often have to work, so a professional, experienced and positive nanny is an excellent way out of this situation.

Is it not easy to entrust your child to a stranger? – But we take our children to school only because of our own convenience on a territorial basis, sometimes without even finding out who will be next to our only one all these years!

Why do we entrust children to women - teachers who have never had children or families of their own? - Because the social stereotype dominates even logic? Or because it’s more convenient for us? The fast pace of life and total busyness give rise to a new link in the parent-child relationship, which is the nanny. The main thing is not to be afraid to trust this person, who quite possibly will soon become family and friends. Historical examples are clear evidence of this.

Stereotype No. 4
"A woman should get married"

This traditional attitude is imposed by society from childhood. It is generally accepted that a man is the breadwinner, and a woman is the keeper of the hearth. These gender stereotypes act as social norms.
Gender stereotypes are ideas about the differences between men and women that are stable for a given society in a given historical period, standardized ideas about behavior patterns and character traits that correspond to the concepts of “male” and “female.”

However, over time, roles dating back to the distant past have been redistributed. A modern woman is able to combine several functions, and not just be responsible for the household. Or even completely abandon the family component, which is extremely difficult to do without causing public censure. But a woman who is a priori focused only on the family may be ill-prepared for other social roles that are likely to appear in her life.

In our country, a woman who does not start a family is perceived by many as a failure. As a result, fearing public condemnation, girls get married simply because “it’s necessary” and try to save the family by any means, even to the detriment of their own interests and life values.

There is a breakdown of the picture of the world that a woman created for herself under the influence of various opinions both from the family and from the outside. The cliche “a woman should have a family” makes her unhappy and dissatisfied, and all because she did not come to what is important to her on her own, but succumbed to the conditions dictated by society. But every person is individual. What is good for one is not suitable for another. In addition, the infrastructure of the family itself undergoes significant changes in the process of development of human civilization, to which one must also be able to adapt.

A scene from the past. An idyllic picture of a peasant family. Evening. A torch slowly burns in the twilight. A family of 10 people sits at the table: husband, wife and children, small or small. The housewife takes out a pot of cabbage soup or porridge from the stove, the father says a short prayer, and everyone begins to gobble up the dish on both cheeks.

Our days. Modern family. Morning. A husband, wife and child are sitting at the table in the kitchen. The family hastily snacks on sandwiches and rushes about their business: the mother and father leave for work, the child goes to school.

How to break the stereotype?
The woman became much stronger and in her capabilities was almost equal to the man, and in some places even surpassed him. Hence the redistribution of roles, the discarding of those functions imposed by established public opinion that a woman does not want to take on. What matters to her is what her heart and soul strive for, and this desire is not always family. If she is interested in a family, she will definitely create one. What if not?! Why does a single person immediately become labeled as “lonely”, “loser”, etc.? And if he is a brilliant specialist, a talented leader, knows how to repair cars well, an excellent person.
It is important to accept the life of another as it is, not to judge, not to impose your point of view, not to cultivate stupid public opinion in yourself. Let each person decide whether to let someone into their life or not, let them build their own, the only correct version of life.

A person often acts and comprehends the world within the framework determined by external conditions and thinking stereotypes. It is very difficult to break stereotypes, but they are the ones that often interfere with life, change ideas about the world, and interfere with building relationships with people. Many people experience dissatisfaction because they do not live the way they want, but constantly adjust their lives to the expectations of others. The higher the need for public approval, the greater the dependence on it. And no one knows where this “blind” dependence will lead...

Of course, “it is impossible to live in society and be free from it,” but only we decide whether to accept manipulations from the outside, follow them or not? Limit yourself in something, allow other people to take the reins of your life or not? There is always a choice. And he is behind you.

So: stereotypes can be ethnic, role, gender, age, status, etc. According to their content, they are divided into two categories: stereotypes that characterize people as members of certain national and political groups, and stereotypes that characterize the personal characteristics of people by their behavior, physical qualities, appearance design, etc. Today we will continue the list of the most common stereotypes, as well as “methods of combating” them.

"Hard Imprint"

The term “social stereotype” (from the Greek stereos – solid + typos – imprint) was first introduced by the American journalist Walter Lippman. In Lippman's concept, two types of knowledge can be distinguished on which a person relies when understanding any phenomena of social life. First of all, this is information that he acquires in the course of his own life. But this information does not provide a complete picture of the world, “since the surrounding reality is too large, too complex and changeable,” and the possibilities of personal experience are limited. A person fills the resulting gaps in knowledge with information drawn from various sources of human culture. But this type of knowledge is not perfect - it often gives a distorted view of the world. Despite this, such ideas have great stability and are used by people as “codes” (evaluation criteria) of phenomena, facts and events of the surrounding reality. Walter Lippmann called such rigid knowledge codes, assimilated in ready-made form, stereotypes.
But today, contrary to theory, we invite you to destroy the most famous of them!

Stereotype No. 5
"Appearance is more important than internal content"

One of the most common stereotypes is the perception of another person according to certain characteristics: a bespectacled person is smart, a blonde is stupid, a red-haired person is shameless, a thin-lipped or thin person is evil, a plump person is good-natured, etc. These generally accepted opinions about people's appearance "work", as a rule, at the first meeting.

An example of an appearance stereotype that operates mainly on an unconscious level is the stereotype “beautiful means good, positive.” Attractive people are assigned positive personality traits, while less attractive people are assigned negative ones.

How to break the stereotype?
Learn to recognize another person and accept his position in life. This means looking for that very “zest”: talking with him, understanding and accepting what you disagree with. Natural appearance is not everything. Much more important is the inner content, mysterious charm, and the presence of a sense of humor.

Sincerity, openness, purity, honesty are much more valuable than curls or plump lips...

World history knows facts when people who do not have beauty or outstanding external data have earned worldwide recognition.

Stereotype No. 6
"Beauty requires sacrifice..."

This stereotype was established at the end of the last century. At the beginning of the new century, the criteria for beauty changed significantly. And yet, hundreds of thousands of women and men do not stop swallowing packs of suspicious diet pills and torturing themselves with dubious diets, trying newfangled plastic surgery practices, paying a stupid and peculiar tribute to society and the notorious cliché 90-60-90.

How to break the stereotype?
“Glossy beauties and beauties” is just the fashion industry, a business set on a broad track, where universal recognition and imitation are replaced by a surrogate for beauty. Beauty culture does not require sacrifice. Beauty culture is not at all the now fashionable fasting, expensive cosmetic products or plastic surgeries that require sacrifices in the literal and figurative sense. The culture of beauty is the worldview of a self-sufficient and satisfied person who finds joy in his own existence!

Stereotype No. 7
"A man is strength, a woman is weakness"

From time immemorial there has been an opinion that a man is strength and heroism, a woman is weakness and humility. Perhaps in past centuries it was appropriate to think and talk about this, but not now...

How to break the stereotype?
Alas, roles in society have long been redistributed. Today, in order to succeed in the current competitive environment, a woman must constantly demonstrate the qualities characteristic of men. And if in a man such qualities as toughness, integrity, assertiveness, and ambition are “healthy,” then in the case of a woman they are rated with a “minus” sign. And yet, if these qualities prevail in a woman, she receives the stamp “bitch” at best, and “bluestocking” at worst. Hence, there is an opinion that, while maintaining the position of the “iron lady,” a strong woman simply does not have the right to make a mistake. Otherwise, she risks being overthrown. “Sometimes it’s worth admitting your own weakness and thereby disarming your partner,” Marina Sergeevna, an experienced leader and simply a charming woman, revealed a special secret to us. “Sometimes it’s worth behaving in such a way that it would be inconvenient for your partner to refuse a given undertaking.” And one more thing... a man and a woman are made for each other. And a woman has a special role - the role of a guardian, who allows her to decorate the world around her.

Stereotype No. 8
"The man does not have a car"

“I know one man, quite interesting, prominent, successful, but does not have a car,” thirty-five-year-old Marina Petrovna admitted to us. “In my opinion, this is strange. There is even an opinion among people that if a man does not have a car, then he is at best insolvent, at worst a failure."

How to break the stereotype?
“...And I once asked a friend of mine why he didn’t have his own car,” Marina Petrovna continued. “Imagine, he answered me with dignity: “Having a car is a burdensome task for me. Its maintenance, care, and the driving itself, especially in today’s traffic jams, takes away too much of my precious time and energy, which I happily spend on family and leisure. In principle, there is nothing scary or strange in the fact that I go to work by bus, and to the dacha or fishing by train."

Stereotype No. 9
"A woman should..."

A persistent and most “deadly” stereotype for many women is that a woman must get married before the age of 25-28, otherwise she will remain an “old maid”. And further: A woman as a professional is always worse than a man. A woman must give birth to a child, because giving birth is her main function. Woman + car + technology are incompatible. A woman's place is in the kitchen.

How to break the stereotype?
Let's start with the fact that a modern woman doesn't owe anyone anything! Today, a woman has become more than just independent. She successfully makes a career, is involved in politics and business. And with all this, she often remains a desirable wife or girlfriend; loving and beloved mother or grandmother. Unfortunately (or fortunately), the time of muslin young ladies is a thing of the past.

Another common stereotype is that women are dumber than men. By the way, it is a known fact that the highest IQ in the world was demonstrated by a representative of the fair sex, and it was 228.

The power of stereotypes can be debated for a long time. And in order not to be unfounded, we will present one single opinion, taken from hundreds of opinions of female respondents who think approximately the same, and at the same time we will dot all the “i’s”.

Irina, housewife: “I’m 30 and I’m the mother of three children. I have a wonderful husband, a cozy home. The kitchen is my favorite place in the house. I love doing housework. Every day I cook breakfast, lunch and dinner. I take the children to school, to art and sports sections, and then I pick them up. I love to walk with them, read books to them. I love to spend those short free hours, and sometimes even minutes, that life gives us. I consider myself an absolutely happy woman. .. I have a friend. She is my age. She has no children. She has more male friends than female ones. She travels a lot. , claims that she is absolutely happy!”

Stereotype No. 10
"Men don't cry"

“Sadness not expressed in tears makes the insides cry,” said one of the greats. Should a man cry, does he have the right to do so? Humanity has long decided that this is the lot of women. Don’t we tell our little sons: “Why are you crying like a girl? Don’t cry, you’re a man!”

How to break the stereotype?
...just cry. Nature has endowed man with a unique opportunity, through tears and crying, to “displace” “unnecessary rubbish” from the soul, that is, pain, resentment, grief. Thus, cleansing the body of harmful psychological influences, which otherwise purposefully act on the somatics. Hence: gastritis, ulcers, heart attacks and many other diseases. In addition, instead of just crying on his “native shoulder,” the man begins to seek solace in alcohol. Therefore, wise women, “allowing” a man to cry, recognize real masculinity in them!

Stereotype No. 11
Single mothers are unhappy

This myth has long been debunked, but, unfortunately, still has its harmful effects. Not only the world is changing, but also the principles of family life. If a man is a tyrant, a drunkard and a rowdy, where do you think a woman and her child will be more comfortable? Of course, outside of such a marriage. It is in such a marriage that a woman feels more unhappy and happier after a divorce.
How to break the stereotype?

In this stereotype, society expresses its position - a child should live in a full-fledged family! It's hard to argue with that. Any mistake by adults leads to suffering for children. But, if a woman decides to raise herself, a double responsibility falls on her shoulders - to be both a father and a mother to the child (in the following issues we will definitely continue the topic of raising children in single-parent families). It is easy to be weak, unhappy, dependent, it is difficult to become strong and independent. “It’s better to be alone than to live with just anyone,” these women say today.

Our reader Evgeniy M. notes that - “The phrase single mother or single father evokes pity among others at best. But if it is difficult to be together, then divorce is inevitable. And the sooner the better, in order to minimize trauma for the child. What “As for those women who didn’t get married at all, but gave birth, so to speak, “for themselves,” well, what can I say about this - I think they knew what they were getting into.”

“In order not to fight windmills, you just need to live. Don’t look back at others and don’t cause harm to people. Only then can you break something and then build...”, finished the thought of Irina, a mother who is raising five-year-old Anton on her own.

Stereotype No. 12
"It is believed that a woman should not be the first to tell a man about her feelings..."

This is one of the stable stereotypes of society that lives in our subconscious. There are not many women in the world who can be the first to express their feelings to a man. The reason is that “that’s not how it’s done.” I would like to ask, by whom and when?

How to break the stereotype?

“It seems to me that a woman should not be particularly persistent,” Roman told us. “At least she should not talk about her feelings directly. And in order to show them towards a man, she has tenderness and, in the end, cunning! And you should achieve your goal exclusively with the help of these qualities."

Stereotype No. 13
"The Internet is not a place for dating"

It is believed that it is impossible to make decent acquaintances on the Internet. Many are sure that this is even dangerous. The persistent stereotype that “normal” people don’t meet people on the Internet is harsh and monotonous. But at the same time, everyone knows that dating via the Internet opens up new prospects and opportunities.

How to break the stereotype?
“Last year, I married a wonderful man whom I met through a dating site,” our reader Elena told us. “To be honest, I was very wary and skeptical about this type of communication. My friends all said as one: “Lena, this is a utopia!" But, fortunately, “utopia” turned out to be... my soulmate, which I am incredibly happy about. And by the fall, my husband and I will have a baby!"
I would like to add from the editors: we receive many letters with different life stories, including from happy couples who met on the Internet.

Stereotype No. 14
"Old age is frailty"

It is generally accepted that the “third age” can only count on sympathy and compassion. But we completely forget that if the “autumn of life” brings with it satisfaction and a sense of unity, then old age becomes a happy time.

How to break the stereotype?
The point is not what a person looks like, but how old he feels.

If, for example, your goal is to ensure that your seat is given to you on public transport, then perhaps there is no need to break this stereotype. It’s so convenient to believe in the weakness and infirmity of the elderly. Both to themselves and to those around them. But it’s quite difficult to believe in facts. “I’m 84 years old. Of course, I consider myself a very elderly person,” says our reader Polina Fedorovna, “but that’s only according to my passport. But in general, I just live. I love to live. I love my children and grandchildren. Now I live on I have garden beds there, a greenhouse, flowers. And I take care of everything. I live with my grandfather. He’s 92. It’s also hard, of course... But as long as I’m moving, I’m living. !".

We may not have touched on all existing stereotypes. But by voicing some of them, we tried to destroy the cliches that supposedly must be observed. Guided by established templates and clichés, we try to avoid mistakes. And if we break something, then thanks to the notorious laws we stubbornly justify ourselves.

But! - Quite recently, unequal marriages (both age and social), as well as guest or civil marriages, were considered strict “taboo”. Or separate wallets... Or the fact that a husband should earn more than his wife... Today, these social phenomena have become loyal. There are more and more “violators” of stereotypes among us. And although they evoke mixed feelings among the majority, they, like scouts, pave new roads in the minds, thereby proving that everything is possible in this world...

"Empty Chair"

Each stereotype requires careful elaboration. There is a wonderful technique called “empty chair”, which has a double effect. By speaking unspoken words to an “empty chair”, you are thereby freed from tension. Effect one: external discharge occurs. The muscles relax, becoming elastic, wrinkles are smoothed out, and the body becomes flexible. Effect two: internal discharge occurs. Internally, you cease to be afraid of breaking the rules that society stubbornly imposes on you, thereby gaining freedom. You start doing what you consider important and necessary. As a result, there will be people around you who will share and respect your values ​​and views, despite public opinion.

Each of us has our own “cage of conventions” with many rules and strange rituals. This is probably life in its diversity... But if you suddenly feel that all this is preventing you from being happy, feel free to break it, destroy it, fight for your freedom! One day, having destroyed stereotypes, we will find ourselves in a very strange world, where there is a place for talent, interesting meetings, extraordinary actions, which, due to stereotypical thinking, are not supported by society.

Probably, first of all, you should learn to listen to yourself and your heart, and not other people, and... just become happy.

Don't rack your brains, break stereotypes. And be happy!

Lyrical digression: one of the most important lessons in my life.

Once upon a time, I was a naive, naive freshman. And one evening in the dorm, a not very friendly senior student slapped me in the face a couple of times, and then we drank beer. Laughing and breathing in fumes, my new friend began to teach me about life. He took on a sublimely philosophical tone and, holding his glass, declared:

In life you need to ask three things at every step.

Why do we need this?

What will happen to us for this?

What will we get from this?

I think I learned my lesson.

So here it is. “Why break stereotypes” is a rather simple and obvious question. However, you need to not only know the obvious things. They also need to be properly understood. And the main thing is to act in accordance with them.

Stereotypes prevent us from accurately assessing the world around us. We receive incorrect information, which means we build incorrect behavior on its basis. Wrong means “ineffective”, preventing us from achieving our goals.

Here, for example.

Stereotype “work is already a value, glory to work”. This man is a great guy, he works all day, he gets tired, he tries. Is everything correct?

Quotes beg to be answered in response:

“It turns out that a horse is better than any person - it works harder” (Gorky)

“We work from the fence until lunch!” (Army joke)

There are plenty of examples in life. “Marivanovna, but I taught!” - the schoolboy yells, receiving a C grade. “But I made a hundred bushings,” the worker justifies himself, having received a scolding from the foreman for a huge percentage of defects.

But everything is so simple. You don't have to do it. Need to do it. And not just any way. The result is important in everything. The result is evaluated. And the process is on the side.

All this is not easy to understand. Need to accept. Otherwise, you will think in ineffective categories, which means you will work in vain, for the sake of the process, without getting results.