You keep in touch. Rules for Conversation

Being sociable or the ability to communicate with people is simply necessary for. Sociable people are much more willing to be hired for high positions; they easily manage their personal lives. A person who masters this art will maintain a conversation without any problems. Basically, these people are simply doomed to.

Let's start with the fact that the ability to communicate and maintain a conversation is the most important quality that makes it easier to achieve success. Naturally, the question arises: is it possible to develop this skill in yourself? So, when meeting a new person, it often happens that we do not know how to behave, how to maintain a conversation, and what to say to him. As a result of this, as a rule, awkward pauses appear and we lose touch with the person. Below I will list tips on how to maintain a conversation.

1. Talk at least about what would be interesting to you

All people are interested in something. Every person has hobbies or topics that are of great interest to them. And on this you can agree with your interlocutor. Bring here whatever you want: cinema, hunting, business, children, books, etc. Make a list of things that interest you. And it is with the help of this list of topics that you will conduct the conversation. If there is an awkward pause during the conversation, you need to remember this list and boldly continue the conversation.

2. Ask direct questions

The simplest and most effective method is to simply let the person speak. The tool for this will be direct questions. These questions cannot be answered in one word: no or yes. Let’s say: “What do you think about this?”, “Which people do you trust more?” and the like. When answering them, your interlocutor will give a detailed answer, which will contribute to the further development of your conversation.

3. Active listening technique

With its help, it is easy to win over your interlocutor, as well as gain his sympathy and location in a short period of time; the ability to listen is important here. During communication, imagine yourself in the place of your interlocutor, think about how he feels during your conversation. What guides him and what is important to him in this life. It is at this moment that the person will feel understood, and then you will certainly gain his trust.

Some people are given the art of communication by nature, while others cannot find the right words for a conversation and prefer to remain silent. We know that communication skills can be developed, and we will tell you how to do it!

Silence, of course, is golden, and modesty adorns a person. But if you don’t know how to maintain even a non-binding conversation, you limit your personal life and lose the opportunity to meet interesting people.

The topic of verbal communication is under the close attention of pundits. Experts have conducted a huge amount of research, developed smart trainings and written many books that teach how to maintain a conversation on any topic. Knowledge, of course, is needed, but you can become a sociable person only with desire and some effort on your part. And we will give you some simple tips that will make you a pleasant conversationalist for almost every person.

How to maintain any conversation: secrets of communication

  • Selecting a topic. You can start a conversation with something neutral and well-known, even with a banal discussion of the weather, new movies, global world events or local news. You can also talk about the place you are in at the moment. And don’t allow yourself to think about choosing the wrong topic of conversation - they will only bring a feeling of awkwardness. As practice shows, interlocutors are uncritical of the topics of initial communication, because common ground is difficult to find at the first meeting. But a smile is always appropriate - goodwill attracts people’s attention and evokes an intuitive feeling of sympathy.
  • Asking questions correctly. Most people are self-centered, they like to be the center of attention and express their opinions. But often your interlocutor himself does not know how to maintain a thematic conversation or a simple conversation, and questions will show your interest and help the person to relax. The main thing is to ask questions in a friendly tone and encourage your interlocutor to provide detailed answers.
  • Communicate in a positive way. When talking to people you don’t know well, you should only touch on positive topics. For example, men like to discuss their hobbies, successes at work, and talk about their attitude to historical and political events. Women are more likely to chat about light topics such as children, fashion, beauty products, and interesting events. But there is no need to touch on personal failures and misfortunes - such things are rarely discussed with unfamiliar people. If an unpleasant topic does come up in a conversation, do not try to find out the details - if desired, the person himself will share his experiences.
  • Listen carefully to your interlocutor. If you don’t know how to maintain a conversation on any topic (even unfamiliar to you), become an active listener. That is, do not remain silent at all, but show interest with your emotions and general (but appropriate!) phrases. Smile, give a short assessment of what you heard with a consonant nod or the words “Exactly”, “True”, “I understand”, ask clarifying questions. This behavior inspires trust and sympathy. If your opinions do not coincide, do not interrupt your interlocutor - perhaps further statements will contain arguments that will change your point of view. If you are interrupted, there is no need to be violently indignant, because the dispute can develop into a conflict. It is better to point out inappropriate behavior to a person after establishing informal friendly relations.
  • Speak evenly and clearly. “Swallowed” words, muttering under your breath, as well as a loud argument “with foam at the mouth” are a sure way to ruin communication with the most patient person. In addition, people do not like it when the other person is looking for something on their tablet or smartphone during a conversation - this is a clear sign of indifference. But sometimes a person knows how to carry on any conversation, and diction is disrupted as a result of excitement. Here it is better to immediately indicate your emotional state and gradually the excitement will subside.
  • Don't use special terms. Conversations on narrowly focused topics are already difficult to understand, and if the speech is riddled with specific words, most likely no one will understand you. It is appropriate to have such conversations with work colleagues or guests of a specialized conference, and such a conversation will put new acquaintances from other areas of activity into a half-asleep state. It is also better not to overuse foreign words and scientific terms, otherwise you risk being branded a braggart.

How to learn to maintain a conversation: speech training

In order to easily maintain a casual conversation with new acquaintances, you need to expand your horizons and regularly carry out simple training:

To talk more fully about how to learn to maintain a conversation, you need to touch on the topic of typical communication mistakes. To avoid leaving a negative impression, avoid the following types of conversation:

- violent argument and criticism of the interlocutor;
- spreading gossip and unflattering reviews about mutual friends;
- inappropriate tactile contact: grabbing hands, patting on the shoulder;
- negative reaction to jokes (even if they seem unfunny to you);
- repeated repetition of the same story;
- attempts to return the interlocutor to a discussion of a topic that does not interest him.

Another important point is the ability to correctly end a conversation. Leave your new acquaintance with pleasant impressions of the conversation and your personality. As a rule, it is enough to thank the person for the conversation and show your joy about your acquaintance. It is appropriate to exchange contacts with pleasant people - this way you can continue communication in the future.

Some people know how to carry on a conversation and easily transfer it to any topic. Such skills increase self-esteem, allow you to make useful contacts and achieve success in business.

But how to maintain a conversation if this fails and there is an awkward silence? Such skills are not difficult to master; it is enough to know the basic rules of communication.

Ask open questions

To keep the conversation going, avoid questions that can be answered with a clear yes or no, as this will immediately lead the conversation to a dead end and create difficulties for further communication. For example, instead of asking whether you liked the movie, it is better to ask what the other person thinks about its plot.
You can get a detailed answer by expressing your own opinion. The other person will definitely want to express their point of view, which will create a dialogue.

Ask questions based on the other person's answers

How to maintain a conversation with people if it reaches a dead end? A good technique is to use information coming from the interlocutor. After listening carefully to him, you can always catch on to something and find a topic to continue communication. If a question doesn’t come to mind, it’s enough to invite the person to talk about something in more detail.
The main thing is not to interrupt the interlocutor and give him the opportunity to speak out, finish his thought, otherwise he may think that his reasoning is not interesting and stop expressing it.

The environment is the best topic for conversation

How to maintain a conversation if it doesn't work out from the very beginning? The best topic for discussion will be the environment. For example, if you are participating in a social event, talk about it. During dinner at a restaurant, you can discuss the atmosphere and interior of the establishment. At a party, a suitable theme would be music, food, decorations.

Be positive

One simple thing to remember is that people love to communicate with optimists. Therefore, there is no need to constantly complain about your failures, this will only alienate your interlocutor. Perhaps he wants to relax and forget about his own misfortunes, and not bother himself with the sorrows of others.

It’s better to remember the positive moments, you can even tell some funny story. As you know, humor brings people together and allows them to find a common language.

Conversation with a girl

Communication with a man

When talking to a man, a woman should remember that the stronger sex loves to be listened to. True, it is not always possible to understand reasoning about cars or computers. How to maintain a conversation with a man in this case? The conversation can always be directed in the right direction by catching on to something familiar and finding a topic of interest to both.

The main thing is not to interrupt the man at the moment when he is enthusiastically speaking, and not to criticize him. Discussing your acquaintances would not be a good topic. It's better to leave it for friends. It is also advisable not to talk about diets.

Conversation in company

A person who knows how to carry on a conversation in a company so as not to receive a negative attitude towards himself will not enter into meaningless arguments and criticize others. He will remember that every speaker tries to find his audience. That is why, when communicating in a company, he will try to pass off his own silence as interest in the story. If several people are having a conversation, it is easier to present yourself as an interesting interlocutor - it is enough to sometimes ask questions when there is a pause.

If you don't know how to hold a conversation on any topic, educate yourself.
There are several simple recommendations.

  1. Practice. Try to communicate with everyone you encounter. These could be cashiers at the supermarket, people in line, colleagues. For communication, it is advisable to choose people with opposing values ​​and views. This will allow you to develop in different directions and expand the list of topics suitable for conversation.
  2. Read a lot. Choose literature on different topics, as these are sources of information that can be discussed in the future.
  3. Keep a notepad. Write down funny stories that happened to you in the past. They can be useful and become a topic for communication.
  4. Talk to your reflection in the mirror. As you know, this is exactly how actors rehearse, so why not adopt this style of training?
  5. Overcome shyness, because in many cases it is the reason for constraint in conversation.


What should you not do?

How to maintain a conversation without causing negativity from others? There are several warnings about what not to do during a conversation:

  • extol yourself, try to show yourself better than you really are - such behavior repels others and creates barriers to further communication;
  • be tactless - if the interlocutor does not like the topic, it is better not to touch upon it, otherwise they will want to end the conversation with you as soon as possible;
  • using rude, vulgar speech with slang and profanity will be frowned upon in many circles;
  • pry out personal secrets and lay out your ins and outs;
  • interrupting your interlocutor, cutting him off mid-sentence is bad form, which can lead to the end of communication.

Sarcasm and scientific sayings in French will also not be appreciated. There's no point in trying to seem smarter. For pleasant communication you need to win someone over.

Of course, you can talk to your best friend about anything, but you also need to be able to engage in dialogue with strangers. Moreover, there are plenty of topics for communication, you just have to choose the most suitable one. Being able to not only express your point of view, but also listen to the other person is a mandatory requirement for a pleasant and lengthy conversation. If you adhere to these rules, the question of how to maintain a conversation will not arise.

Small small talk on abstract topics, either with a stranger or with a colleague with whom you have worked for several years, can be a real challenge.

Meanwhile, a little preparation and a dash of self-confidence is all you need.

Having become proficient in the art of conducting short small talk about nothing, you can easily create a reputation for yourself as an open and friendly person, in defiance of those who are used to talking little in any social situation.

The main thing is not to go too far, because in this case, others may decide that you are overly annoying and talkative.

1. Practice. Talk to everyone you encounter: cashiers, waiters, people in line, neighbors in the elevator, co-workers and children.

Connect with people different from you, from old people to teenagers to tourists; having different views and values; relating to a different culture and nationality, a different social status, etc.

2. Read everything what you can: fiction, documentary, historical, cookbooks, newspapers, magazines of all kinds, reviews, labels and stickers on any goods, and products in particular, look through maps, study various symbols and catalogs.

Everything in the world is a source of information that you will definitely discuss with someone later.


3. Push yourself into situations., which are usually supposed to start short conversations about nothing.

For example: sit next to someone at the doctor's office, go to social events and cocktail parties, approach someone during an office smoke break or meeting at the water cooler/coffee machine, chat with someone while waiting for someone to arrive late for a meeting , etc. Accept invitations to parties and/or host them at your home.


4. Immerse yourself in the culture and of all directions: both high and low level, both modern and classical. Television, a wide variety of music, sports, fashion, fine arts and poetry, museums and foreign cultures are an endless source of topics for conversation. If you can't stand Shakespeare, this, by the way, is also a good topic for conversation.


. Not an online zhezheshechka for everyone, but a personal, paper notebook. Write down funny stories that happened to you and/or that you heard from others, beautiful things you saw, interesting quotes, interesting observations, shopping lists and calls you made, etc., etc. etc. - anything that may be interesting or useful for others. By keeping notes on paper, you organize events in your head and remember them better.

This will solve the situation when you are standing in front of a person and cannot remember a single thing that would be worth saying out loud.


6. Don't laugh - but talk to yourself in the mirror. Actors do this, why shouldn't ordinary people adopt a similar style of training?

Make a short list of the first things that come to mind and see what you have to say on those specific issues. Baseball, America, butter, hip-hop, shoes - the more diverse the list, the better.

7. Expand your horizons. Always look for and learn something that is still unfamiliar to you: try to get home by a different route, play pinball, go online chat, try sushi, paint with watercolors, bake a cake. Try something new every day.

By the way, this will not only help you communicate more freely, but in principle your life will become more fun.


8. Train yourself to be a good listener. Did your boss just say he suffers from migraines? Your neighbor just had twins? There are a lot of things of a personal nature, but not so intimate that you can easily provoke your interlocutor into a small conversation with the right question.

9. Work on your self-confidence overcoming shyness and any anxiety associated with so-called “stage fright”. Remember, the more you know, the more confident you can be that you will find something to chat about with your neighbor.

10. Observe those around you carefully. There is quite a list of superficial topics that almost anyone would be happy to discuss.

Their number will certainly include the latest topical news of any direction, sensational films and musicals, recently opened and especially distinguished restaurants, fashion for something, exciting local events (at your work, near your home), etc.

Additions and warnings:

Be yourself. Always remember that self-confidence and humor are great analogues to comedic talent and great intelligence;

Remember that you never have to do this alone;

Always have a few polite phrases in mind to end a conversation. For example: “Thank you for the wonderful conversation, but as a hostess, I should not forget about the other guests. See you again!";

Always be aware of who is standing in front of you: questionable, immoral stories and rude or vulgar speech filled with modern buzzwords, slang or profanity will be frowned upon in many circles.

By the way, your sarcastic remarks in French or scientific calculations will most likely also be wasted.



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