Hello! Thank you for reading my blog, write your comments and ask questions. This gives me the opportunity to cover new topics. Today I wanted to touch on the topic of communicating with an ex, namely how to communicate with an ex-girlfriend.
There are several stages of communication with her and at each stage you need to communicate differently. I'll go through each one individually so you can understand.
How to communicate with your ex-girlfriend
How to communicate with your ex-girlfriend if you just broke up with her? If your task is to win her back, then after the breakup there is no need to communicate with her in principle. Those. you switch to yourself and forget about her for a while.
Basically, you need to put an end to the relationship. By continuing to communicate with her further, you drag out this moment ad infinitum. You remain that guy who continues to run after her and worry about her absence.
This is a losing position. To get her back, you need to change your behavior pattern with her. Therefore, the answer is not to communicate at all. This is precisely about the lack of initiative on your part. Her initiative is quite acceptable, but without any ingratiation on your part.
How to communicate if time has passed
If you waited a while after breaking up with her, at least a couple of weeks, then communicate differently. Here it’s more like friendly communication with her, without negativity.
Something like “yes, I don’t mind communicating with you, but no more.” By doing this, you deter her from trying to do more and force her to play the game by your rules.
Sometimes you may miss a couple of contacts with her. For example, she calls you, and you call her back only the next day. Again, no complaints, citing employment and business. Here you behave appropriately and do not immediately run to her.
How to communicate with your ex if she's angry
It may be that the girl deliberately provokes you, she is always not happy. He snaps at your attempts to communicate normally. Here your weapon is humor and avoiding conflict with her. He joked back, said goodbye and went about his business.
There is no need to be offended by her in return. If you do, she will provoke you more. It is important to pass this test. In general, if you adhere to these rules, returning it will be much easier.
And finally:
Three important principles when communicating with your ex-girlfriend
- do not bring up the topic of the relationship between you
- don't try to ingratiate yourself and make her like you
- don't be too intrusive
What to do when meeting your ex-girlfriend?
- and remained friends then say hello and move on
- if it’s your fault, you can walk by with your head down or say hello too
- If it’s your fault, then it’s best to pass by without looking/looking away.
Some people, having accidentally or deliberately met their ex-girlfriends, try to put a little pressure on their subconscious.
They begin to communicate in such a tone, as if they really want to go back, as if they have changed a lot, as if they have been sad all these days or years.
There is no need to do this under any circumstances! Even if you really want to return something back.
Here's what's better to do:
Behave politely and tactfully, as with a good friend, but without hinting at Maybe let's do it again?. Let communication be casual and not thoughtful. If a long dialogue ensues, the situation itself will tell you whether it makes sense to take the conversation to personal matters.
If you met an ex-girlfriend with whom you parted on good terms, then the meeting can bring joy to both of you. Your heart will tell you what to do at this moment. Advice isn't even needed here. And if you meet a girl with whom you once had a bad breakup, then it is better to avoid a head-on collision. Well, if it did happen, then don’t hesitate, smile and say hello, if it was not possible to quickly sneak somewhere and disappear from sight.
Greet her politely and ask how she is doing. But at the same time, you shouldn’t ask about her personal life, much less ask who her boyfriend is, how serious everything is with them. By this, the man shows that he has not let go, that he continues to consider the girl his own.
You can pretend that you didn’t notice her, walk past, looking somewhere to the side.
Run) Just kidding) Actually, what's so scary about that? Behave like people you know well. You're not strangers, are you? :) You probably slept together, if not, drank, relaxed. Why pretend to be strangers now? Just hi, how are you? :) If you broke up normally. And if she cheated on you or something else, then pass by. The person betrayed you, well...
It is advisable not to meet her on the way until she makes herself known. Girls are gentle and unpredictable creatures. But in a chance meeting, unnoticed, do not try to determine her state of mind and politely concede the right to choose.
Say hello, ask how you are doing. It’s better not to talk about personal things, it’s better to talk about work. Be natural and behave the same as if you were meeting a classmate. You separated and now nothing binds you. Behave this way regardless of past connections. They are no longer there.
What should you do? Do nothing. At best, say hello. That’s what I did when meeting with my exes. I don’t think that such meetings can be particularly pleasant for both of you.
Not very long ago I met like this, and then we parted ways as if nothing had happened.
It’s good that in our small town we walk different paths with them.
good day.!!! when meeting an ex-girlfriend, you need to behave calmly and balancedly, and if you broke up with her peacefully and calmly, then in general everything is simple, say hello to her, ask how she’s doing and there’s no need to carry on a further conversation. good luck !
If you broke up:
This means that the first mistake is to get in touch too often. If you really want to find the answer to the question of how can I get my girlfriend back and how can I start communicating with her again, but at the same time you contact her too often, in this case you are still perceived by her as if you are too need her. And in general, what are her expectations? I want to tell you right away what she expects. In order not to follow her script, you need to break this script, you need to not follow it. I’ll tell you now what scenario she has in her head, about how further contact will take place between you. You will write to her, begging her to come back. And you will write as often as possible. She will answer you sluggishly or not answer at all. You will gradually write to her less, less, less and gradually stop writing to her at all. This is how she imagines it. We will do exactly the opposite. That is, at first we don’t write at all. Gradually, we appear first once a week, then 2 times a week, then 3 times a week, then we begin to write more often, more often, more often and more often. And, on the contrary, it is increasing and not decreasing. That is, it is a mistake if you write too often at first. And it’s a mistake if you gradually start writing less and less. On the contrary, you need to write more often and then it’s better. That is, from rare to frequent.
Second mistake, which is also often done by very, very many, and which now you will no longer do, because you have purchased this course and are listening to what I am telling you now. The second mistake is that you must understand that if she reacted coldly or did not react to some phrase, this does not mean that everything is lost. A lot of guys, a lot of men, trying to get a girl back, got in touch once. She said, “So what? What do you even want from me? What are you writing to me, I don’t understand?” You: “Danila, your method doesn’t work. I wrote three words to her, she wrote me back with three other words, only indecent ones.” This is fine. And you need to gradually, gradually warm it up. She may still be angry with you. If your own sister wrote the same thing to you, you wouldn’t be offended. Do you remember I told you the formula that you need to treat her like a little younger sister? This is exactly the situation, she needs to be treated like a little sister. If your younger sister was rude to you, how would you react? But you won't be angry, you'll just make fun of her. Take it easier. It is with this ease that you will take it. If you slip into a deep showdown, problems will begin. And again there will be this cycle of what separated you from her. Constant scandals, showdowns and things that are clearly not going well. That is, the second mistake is to take her grievances or her negative reactions seriously. You just need to pass by and move on.
Third mistake , which occurs quite often, is calling her too often or not calling her at all. That is, use the phone either as the only way, or not use it at all. I recommend communicating online more often and calling less often. If she calls, maybe don’t pick up the phone for the first week, then pick up. It’s not every time to take it, but it’s normal to take it and talk with interest, calmly: “Oh, I’m glad you called, let’s talk,” and so on. This is normal, that is, because if you write on the Internet, people nowadays have developed a rule of behavior in terms of the telephone, that this is a normal number of calls, this is an too frequent number of calls. But rules of behavior regarding the number of e-mails or the number of SMS have not yet been developed. That is, e-mail and SMS can be sent in any quantity. We don’t have this: “This person is sending me too many e-mails, there’s something wrong with this.” But if you call often, it is perceived as excessive. That is, there should be more e-mails and SMS than phone calls. Especially if you live in different cities.
When we are engaged in getting back exes, a very important point is the restoration of communication. Usually clients come to us at the stage when girls run away from them like fire. Abandoned men are not particularly bothered by the dilemma of what to say to their ex-girlfriend. It seems to the guys that this is obvious - they just need to convey to her that the breakup was a mistake. And the more reasoned (and in fact, the more boring and annoying) this is done, the sooner the girl will slap herself on the forehead and say: “Well, of course! Why am I so stupid? Let's meet again! " Alas, all of our clients have learned from their own experience that intimate conversations have the opposite effect.
Therefore, how to communicate with your ex-girlfriend is a very delicate issue on which the success of the campaign to get her back depends.
Under no circumstances should you force your communication on her. This way you will negate the magical effect of the pause. When you disappear from the radar after a breakup, your ex naturally begins to feel sad. Don't take this opportunity away from her. Your calls and whiny “I just want to talk” evoke only pity in your ex-girlfriend. And if this one-way communication continues, then there will be open hostility up to and including blacklisting you. If you don't know how to start, you don't need to think through tirades and letters that will hit her in the heart.
While your pause lasts, work on your exclusivity. Change. And post all your news on social networks. Just don’t overdo it with publications, otherwise it looks like hysteria and it becomes clear that everything is organized for her sake. Photos from travel, business events and pretentious parties work great for your image. Your status in her eyes will definitely rise.
After the changes bear real fruit, you can call your ex-girlfriend. The first call should be very short - it is needed in order to test the waters and interest her in your news. Within literally five minutes, you must tell the girl the most incendiary story from your life - this will be a hook for building further communication.
The second and third telephone conversations may be a little longer. If she supports the conversation in every possible way and develops topics, then it’s time to arrange a first date with her ex. The meeting is one of the most important stages of the return. This requires patience and strict implementation of the plan. Invite her to a democratic place - no flowers or expensive restaurants needed.
You are friends, so you will communicate with her in this way. Do not open your arms under any circumstances - hugging, holding her hand or kissing her on the first date is taboo. Tactile initiative should follow her speed of approach. Believe me, your self-control will prick her feminine pride a little, and her ex will begin to accidentally touch you. On the second date, when she is trying hard to close the distance, you can kiss her goodbye.
And the third meeting, in theory, should end in sex, and in this case we proclaim the fact of a successful return. However, there is no need to relax. Now the main task is to build new harmonious relationships and not repeat past mistakes.
Nearing completion. So they decided that they were not suitable for each other. You can say a lot of nasty things, or you can part ways amicably. Many guys wonder: how to behave with your ex-girlfriend? After a breakup, there are several options for developing your relationship. This article is intended for guys, men who don’t know how to deal with their ex-girlfriend.
Can you be friends with your ex-girlfriend?
"Let's remain friends!" - you can often hear from the lips of a guy or girl who has come to break up. Your relationship has come to an end, but your former love has managed to become a loved one whom you don’t want to lose. She knows you well, and you are used to sharing secrets with her or asking her for advice. Isn't this a relationship between friends? Many people think so. But this is simply the most peaceful option for parting; they usually ask to remain friends out of politeness, so as not to offend the other person. This will most likely not be friendship; you will remain ordinary acquaintances. Although even after the most stormy parting with screams and quarrels, you will still remain familiar, no matter how you look at it.
Therefore, it is important to understand two things here. First - what is a woman? Second - why do you need it? It is worth answering these questions honestly.
It implies that you will continue to share secrets, joys, ask and give advice. It seems to be a good arrangement, but only at first glance. Also, if she gets married, you will have to be happy for her. Are you ready for this? It’s worth thinking carefully, weighing all the pros and cons of such a friendship. After all, there are some pitfalls here.
Why shouldn't you remain friends with your ex-girlfriend?
A man and woman who were in a relationship should not remain friends, if only because it simply may not work out for them. After all, people very rarely separate without hatred, claims against each other, or without the desire to start their joint romance anew. Probably someone will want to return the relationship. But is it worth it? Is this really true? Perhaps not. Usually such a desire arises only at first. Months, weeks or even a few days will pass, and it will fade away, especially if a replacement for your ex appears.
Also, you should not remain friends, because your new soulmate may very much not like the fact that you and your ex-woman are still communicating. If your new flame is jealous, she may think you're still having an affair. In general, if you still decide to maintain your friendship, then it is better to be honest in a new relationship and immediately tell them that you communicate well with your old friend. It’s not worth mentioning the details of the relationship, but saying that she already has a new boyfriend would be good. This way, the new girl will be calm about the safety of your relationship and will not be jealous of her ex. Perhaps it won't. But in any case, it will be better for her to find out this from you than from someone else who will simply think that you are dating two girls at the same time.
What not to do in friendship with your ex-girlfriend?
1. The first main rule is never call your ex-girlfriend by a diminutive name or cute nicknames like “bunny”, “pussy”, “sunny” and so on. Your ex-love will perceive such treatment from you as something more than just friendship. Also, do not write or call her too often, once a week will be enough to maintain a friendly relationship.
2. The second main rule is never drink together with your ex-girlfriend. Stick to this point at least for the first time, when your feelings have not yet completely faded away. You know what alcohol leads to.
3. Don't have goodbye sex with your ex-girlfriend. Before the start of a friendship, it will be inappropriate. This means that you are not yet ready to break off relations with this person as a woman, therefore, there can be no talk of any friendship.
4. Do not say such expressions: “I don’t deserve you”, “You are good”, “Find someone else, you will be better with him.” Never say something like that. But then what should we do? You need to talk to your ex-girlfriend differently. Otherwise, she will simply think that you are putting all the responsibility on her for ending your relationship. But you can't do that to your friends.
How to stay friends with your ex-girlfriend?
If the breakup was your initiative, then find out from your current girlfriend (if you, of course, have not yet broken up with her) how she feels about friendship between a man and a woman after the breakup of their relationship, in what cases she considers it acceptable. There is no need to ask about this directly. Ask her questions indirectly. What does it mean?
You can find a film in which the characters broke up but remained on friendly terms. For example, this is the series “The Big Bang Theory”. Watch a movie with a girl, and then casually ask how she feels about this outcome of events. There is another option. Tell us about your friends (you can talk about fictional acquaintances) that they broke up some time later, but continue to be friends. Test the waters and you will see how to proceed and how to deal with your ex-girlfriend.
There is another option that both partners want to end the relationship, but cannot decide to tell each other about it. This is, of course, the ideal situation. With it, the chances are very high that you will remain friends immediately after breaking up, as soon as you clarify all the nuances. But you still need to be able to feel this moment and tactfully express your feelings.
Ex-girlfriend as an alternate airfield
This option is not suitable for honest men, because you will have to deceive your ex-girlfriend. The meaning of this strategy probably doesn’t need to be explained to anyone. Relationships are maintained so as not to be lonely until someone better comes along on the horizon to be your beloved wife. The ex-woman should be on a short leash, even if she already has a new man. Cruel, isn't it? This strategy really works, no special tricks are needed here, everything is extremely simple, although it seems dubious.
How to keep a girl as a backup option?
In order for any girl, not just an ex, to become a transit point, you need to do everything exactly the opposite of the first strategy. This will make her think that you still have some feelings for her.
1. Remind your ex-girlfriend about yourself more often. Not only calls or messages, but also go somewhere together, for example, for a walk or to the cinema. It would be a direct hit if you invite her to go to a place that is special to you. For example, this could be the nightclub where you first met. At the same time, do not forget to call the girl affectionate nicknames. Even if she was the initiator of the breakup, she will still think about the correctness of her decision. Especially if you dedicate poetry to your ex-girlfriend. It doesn’t matter whether you write them yourself or copy them from the Internet, she will appreciate it.
2. Meet your ex-girlfriend on your turf from time to time. You can invite her to your home to watch a movie alone or to a party with friends and alcohol. We all know what alcohol leads to - sex. And this is what is needed to maintain a relationship. Intimate connection does not allow women to forget the time when you were together. After several such meetings, the time will come when the ex-girlfriend will be the first to remind you of herself. If your ex-girlfriend suddenly calls you, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone, maybe she has an interesting offer for you, there’s no need to overprice yourself.
3. Congratulate your ex-girlfriend on your memorable dates. Of course, you may not remember them, but you can get any information in a conversation. As if by chance, feel nostalgic: “Do you remember, once upon a time, you and I...”, and she will most likely say exactly when that was. Usually girls remember dates. Then you can save a reminder of this wonderful event in your phone, and then offer to celebrate it somewhere. The result, as they say, will be obvious.
4. Say that you would make a great couple. Remember your disagreements, what you quarreled about. On occasion, tell your ex-girlfriend that if it weren’t for them, everything would be fine with you. This technique with the particle “would” gives hope that it is still possible to correct the mistakes of the past and start the relationship anew.
What not to do if your ex-girlfriend is an alternate airfield?
1. Don’t lie that you don’t have anyone if you’re already dating a new woman. Otherwise it will backfire on you. For example, you are walking with your new lover, and suddenly you meet your ex-girlfriend. Awkward situation, right? At best, you will only lose your ex-girlfriend. At worst, you will not have a relationship with any of them if your ex-girlfriend tells your new one about your adventures. And some girls are like that, yes.
On the contrary, if you are honest and do not hide the appearance of a new girlfriend, you will only benefit from it. Firstly, your ex-girlfriend will be jealous. Especially if you tell her how good your new lover is. Secondly, you can hint to your ex-girlfriend that your relationship was wonderful. Let your ex be aware of your new relationship, tell how you two spend time together, but say that everything was wrong for you and you miss the times when you were together.
2. Never introduce your ex to a new girl. The consequences can be very different. Your ex-girlfriend may think you're just friends since you're introducing her to her. Sometimes there are comical situations. The girls will talk and unite against you, and you will be left with nothing.
Only intimate relationships with ex-girlfriend
“Why not suggest we meet for sex?” - you will think. This option has a right to life, if, of course, your ex-girlfriend doesn’t need anything else from you. Many men probably dream about such a relationship. But they won't last very long.
Only sex with an ex-girlfriend: why not an option?
No matter what the girl says, sooner or later sex with you will not be enough for her; she will begin to claim the role of your friend or even wife. And here it doesn’t matter whether you discussed this moment with her or not. Such relationships will eventually end, it's a matter of time. Maybe it will take a few weeks, maybe it will take a few years. Nobody will give any guarantees.
How to achieve only sex with your ex-girlfriend?
You can directly offer one intimate relationship, but there is little chance that the ex-girlfriend will give a positive answer. What should I do? Be smarter with your ex-girlfriend. Invite her to parties from time to time, alcohol will do its job, and you will most likely end up in the same bed. Then tell her that you had wonderful sex, but otherwise you are not suitable for each other. Her reaction will tell you how to proceed.
What not to do if you only have sex with your ex-girlfriend?
Don't talk about your new passion if even your ex-girlfriend knows that you are dating someone. Your ex-girlfriend most likely already has doubts about your relationship, and in this way you will only increase her doubts about this, and she will decide to end this relationship. Or she may become very jealous and will do everything to eliminate her rival. And she will definitely find words for your new woman, how and what to write. Your ex-girlfriend will be offended that she is not suitable for the role of your life partner.
It’s up to you to decide what to do with your ex-girlfriend: be friends with her, have only sex, or not communicate at all.
