How to become kinder? 7 Methods that work
Good day, dear readers and guests of the Personal Growth and Self-Development blog!
How to become kinder, and gain positive thinking, which will help eliminate anger and apathy. Do you constantly yell at someone? Are you complaining about injustice towards you? Are you constantly angry and gloomy? Then our article how to become kinder especially for you. In today’s article we will give you 7 working methods that will help you become kinder and calmer in relation to the world around you.
No matter how strange the following definition may sound, it is true. Kindness and love are a very good internal state that attracts the people and events you need into your life. Be kind to people, and people will also be kind to you. Everything is banal and simple, but how to overcome anger and become kinder? What principles should be followed? The following tips will help you become a kind person to whom other people will be attracted. Read and implement!
First, answer the question: “Where did my bitterness and anger at the whole world come from?” Basically, it all starts from childhood, when a person’s character was just being formed. Here is the conclusion that if a person is kind, then he was raised by kind and sympathetic people. If a person is evil, he was raised by angry and negative people.
Options for your anger at the whole world can be in the following form:
- Had a bad childhood
- My parents didn't give me what I wanted
- Bad parenting
- I'm not handsome
- I was told that the world is cruel and I need to conform to it, and so on.
Now that we roughly know where internal anger comes from, we will give you 10 methods from which you can choose the appropriate ones, with the help of which you will find out the answer to the question how to become kinder?
7 working methods on how to become kinder
Method #1: Give thanks to the world
Are you angry because you have nothing? Do you constantly complain that you don't get anything? First, learn to thank the universe for what you have at the moment. Try to embrace gratitude with all your soul. Most people think that life gives positive events, the right people, food, money just as a matter of course, but this is not so. The Universe gives what people want, but only to those who are grateful and have love for the world around them. Such people are always kind and positive. If you decide to take the path of a kind person, first learn to thank.
Method #2: Be open to the world
If you feel love and gratitude, say THANK YOU . There is no need to cover up these feelings with anger. Feel love and joy if a positive event happens to you. Did they help you with anything? Thank that person. Don't think that you are getting help for granted. This means that you have love that is not entirely covered in anger. Always thank for any help and goals achieved. Who should I thank? Anyone! The main thing is that you experience a positive mood!
Method #3: Say no to criticism and judgment
How to become kinder? Don't judge other people! How often do you criticize and condemn people for this or that action? Your anger is not simple, apparently you like to gossip and criticize other people. Stop judging other people. You don’t like it when people criticize you, do you? Then don’t criticize other people, and you will be fine. Of course, there is criticism that helps a person develop, but criticism and condemnation are on a very fine line, keep your distance. Know that what you give into the world, you get back fivefold, be it a good deed or an evil one. The choice is yours.
Method No. 4. Learn to understand people
Treat people with understanding. We are all individuals, and each of us has our own view of the world around us. If a person talks to you about something, especially addressed to you, and you don’t agree with it, at least don’t give in to the emotions that you don’t like it. Just listen and make the right decision in your favor. Only losers and narrow-minded people who are angry at the world are afraid to hear the whole truth about themselves, and this is a very good tool for the development of the personality as a whole. Don't be afraid to hear someone else's opinion that differs from your own.
Method No. 5. Give people positivity
Shower people with compliments and nice phrases. Start focusing all your attention on the positive traits in other people. What could it be? Anything! Smile, voice, body, clothes, ability to tell a good story, and so on. If you find a character trait that you like in this or that person, tell him about it. This will not only improve the mood of the person to whom you complimented, but will also charge you with tremendous energy for the whole day. To become a kind person, give people kindness and love.
Method #6: Be kind to yourself
Don’t evaluate yourself too critically, be simpler and kinder. A secret: If you treat yourself with a positive attitude, people will also treat you. Know that what surrounds you is your inner world. Be it emotions, events, people, meetings and so on. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner state. As soon as you wake up, smile at yourself! We guarantee that the day will go the way you want it. All because you turned on positive thinking , and we know that positive thinking contributes to the fulfillment of all our desires and goals. Be have a positive attitude towards yourself , and are kind to the people around you.
Method No. 7. Help people. Do good
Do a good deed every day. If you are driving a car, give way to a pedestrian, especially a woman with a stroller. At the entrance to the store, hold the door for people leaving. The best way to cheer yourself up and become kinder is to give kindness and positivity to other people. Do something nice for people, and what you put into the world will definitely come back to you.
Brief summary:
In today's article how to become kinder, we have given you 7 working methods that will help you become kinder. What new did we learn today? And we learned the following:
1. Thank the world around you for what you have at the moment
2. Be open to the world, don’t hold back love and positivity. Minimize negative emotions.
3. Stop judging other people
4. Learn to understand other people. Listen to other people's opinions, but do not take them seriously, you have your own personal point of view.
5. Give love and joy to other people
6. Be positive about yourself and the world around you
7. Help other people if they ask you for something. Help also if you are not asked for anything. Give people positivity!
Good people, always feel happiness in life and achieve success, but how to become a kind person, not many people know. After all, being a good person is the calling of life and anyone can become one if they wish. But the problem is that many people today are evil and don’t even think about kindness. Such people are selfish and live only for themselves, attracting bad consequences with their negative emotions. Psychologists have provided in this article effective methods so that you can become good and kind by a person, without much effort.
Help people
The very first and best way to become kind human being is to help all the people around him. If you help one person at least for one day, then you have not spent the day in vain, and it will be filled with joy and happiness. The one who helps others is a happy, kind person who has already become or will become successful. So start your day by helping others and you will be energized and happy all day long.
Think positively
To develop kindness and become kind person, you need to start off right and positive. People who think correctly and consciously will always be happy and successful, helping others and becoming kind. Anyone who wants to become a kind person and thinks about it is on the right path in life. Since the meaning of our whole life is to live it not in vain and to help at least one person. To do this, you need positive and correct thinking, which will come to you on its own if you are eager to live life, and not just exist.
Love people and yourself
Until you love yourself, you will not be able to love others, and accordingly become kinder. Take a piece of paper and write on it all the qualities that you are proud of. Write also your achievements, what useful things you have done in life, what you have achieved and what character and qualities you have. This way you can love yourself for who you are. Be yourself, it’s wonderful because we are all different, and imitating others and being the same is boring and uninteresting. Stop offending and humiliating yourself, as this will not give you a chance to love yourself. Once you love yourself, you will in any case begin to love those around you, which will help you become a kind person. The main thing is that your love for yourself does not turn into selfishness and pride, since many do not see this line and cross it.
Do what you love
Many people understand and see how many people are angry and disappointed in life today. But the whole reason for this problem is that people became angry due to the fact that they do not do what they want, go to work they don’t like, suffer and fight in order to earn their bread and clothes. But this will in no way lead to happiness, success or make you kind. To become a kind person, you need to find your purpose and start doing things that bring you joy. Since it has been proven that doing what you love or doing brings you more money and pleasure. Don’t be a slave to consumption, going to a job you don’t like, exchanging your life for money.
Donate 10% of profits to charity
Even our ancestors had the habit of not spending all their profits only on themselves, but giving at least 10% to charity, those people whose lives this money saves. You can live quite happily on 90% of your profits when you slightly reduce unnecessary expenses. Soon you will forget about the 10% of money you give monthly, since it will no longer be particularly important to you. The one who gives gets more, so you will be a kind person in any case, while remaining well-fed and clothed. The main thing is to give this 10% joyfully to those people you yourself want to help.
Appreciate life and enjoy every moment
We are only guests in this world, why should we waste our time on unnecessary things that do not bring joy and benefit to either us or people. The lived day, hour, minute and moment can no longer be returned, since this is the most important and important resource of a person. Everyone is given 24 hours a day, but everyone lives this time differently. Some people don’t have enough time, some do what they love, some enjoy life, some help people. As a result, some people become happy and successful, while others continue to say that they do not have enough time for this. If you don’t have enough time for your own happiness, success and kindness, then what are you spending your precious time on?
Start your day with a smile, smile more often
A lot of literature has been written about the power of a smile, but the main point of it all is to start your day with a smile, smile as often as possible throughout the day and end the day with a smile too. This way you can not only become a kind person, but also gain happiness and success, since positive feelings and emotions attract positive circumstances. This is the law of attraction, which has long been studied and proven by many scientists. Its essence is simple, we attract into life everything we think about.
Therefore, if we see an angry, disappointed and unhappy person, then we can say with confidence that this person constantly thinks negatively. Start smiling at those around you, this way you will become kind, because giving your smile is not a real help for a person. A smile, if it is sincere, is worth all the wealth in the world. Know that your smile is the main tool for helping yourself and people, which is what kindness is.
Treat yourself and people the way you want them to treat you
As they say, you are greeted by your clothes, but you are escorted by your intelligence, and this is true, because it plays a big role precisely in the first seconds of communication, and then your mind determines whether a person is smart. If you want to be a kind person in the eyes of others, become kind to yourself and people. This is an incredible method that is always effective, especially if you want to find real friends. Remember, life is beautiful, the main thing is to believe in it, and be kind to yourself and others.
psycho- olog. ru
“He who does good to a friend does good to himself.” “When you give, you receive.” “It’s time to give when you don’t have much.” These and a million other quotes about kindness teach us to be compassionate, generous, honest, and understanding. For real. Human.
No matter how many fairy tales are written and films made, with different endings, good still triumphs over evil. And in life too. We believe in it. Today is World Spontaneous Kindness Day, reminding us of the importance of being human. To be, not to seem. Dalai Lama XIV says that you need to do good deeds, and not just think about it. Taking action is the main thing.
We chose facts about kindness from different books. Read, think about it and, most importantly, implement good ideas. We think this is the most important thing in life.
1. Kindness changes the world
Everything we have done only for ourselves dies with us.
Everything we have done for others and the world lasts forever.
Albert Pike
Tal Ben-Shahar, a positive psychology scholar and author of What You Choose, writes about what many of us are afraid to think about. The fact that many events in the world around us do not depend in any way on the efforts of individual people, and yet we greatly underestimate our ability to change the world for the better.
In the movie Pay It Forward, a schoolteacher asks his students to give a report on how each of them could change the world for the better. One of them, Trevor, decides to do three good deeds, volunteer to help randomly selected people three times, and then ask them - instead of thanking them - to help someone else three times and have them ask for the same thing, and so on.
If every person who is helped by someone in turn helps three other people, then in twenty-one “steps” every person on Earth will have received help from someone. The film tells the story of how Trevor's good deeds create a positive influence that spreads like ripples on water. This influence deeply touches the lives of people whom Trevor himself has never even met.
In our global village, social connections are strong and every action ripples through time and space. That's why it's important not to stop doing good - .
The feeling of helplessness in the face of global problems is rooted in our belief that the contribution of an individual is a drop in the ocean. But if you find a way to do something good and “infect” other people with it - even just a few - you can create significant change.
Change the world for the better. Repay others for what they have done for you and inspire them to do the same.
2. Doing good makes us happier.
Without kindness, true joy is impossible.
Thomas Carlyle
Generosity and generosity are wonderful human qualities. They are very beneficial for physical and mental health. The ability to share time, energy or money with people helps to increase feelings of happiness and reduces the risk of depression, stress levels and has a beneficial effect on relationships with others.
It turns out that we naturally feel happier when we are generous. When we give something to someone, our altruism activates the parts of the brain that are responsible for pleasure, communication with others, and trust.
People who are actively involved in philanthropic activities increase their self-esteem and strengthen their faith in their own strengths. Simply put, we are happy - .
Showing kindness activates the production of endorphins in the brain. These biological reactions create euphoric feelings of peace and happiness in a generous and generous person.
3. Being kind means being a strong person.
The great thinker of the 20th century, Stephen Covey, calls courage the father of all virtues. Courage and respect help us become complete, whole individuals. The formation of a personality requires considerable life experience; you have to go around the built building many times and in different ways until you notice where it has sagged and where it has sagged as a result of past mistakes, and only in this way can you gradually come to the integration of your internal character.
This is why building a strong character requires patience. Men who begin small and work on themselves every day with high principles in mind are sure to spread their influence until they become models of true character and, as a result, mentors and teachers to others.
There is always time for a good deed, -
These individuals become catalysts for change and Transition Persons who can break cycles of negative behavior in their families, organizations or communities.
4. Kindness is an act of giving.
Generosity, whether material or spiritual, changes a person. For the most part, we tend to give, especially when it is convenient for us or socially approved. This is how man is made. If you look at it, we are constantly giving something away - time or energy. But when you spend time with your children, staring at the TV, surfing the Internet on your tablet, or constantly thinking about problems at work, this is not a real act of giving.
The most valuable gifts have nothing to do with money. They are associated with deeply personal and emotional manifestations of the human soul: understanding, moral support, spiritual closeness and kindness.
It is very important to give and love when you cannot demand the same in return. That’s why giving is so difficult, but so important for personal growth, -
It's easy to be a giver when all you have to do is take money out of your wallet. Whether it’s a matter of investing time and mental strength in someone or something. Giving gifts with soul is much more difficult than with money. But generosity changes everything when it comes from the depths of the soul. And this is the most important thing.
5. Kindness is the path to originality
The desire to help others helps the person himself. This is a natural consequence of being exceptional. To take the path of “otherness” from others, you need the ability to share experience. How can I purchase it? Doing good deeds again. Don't be afraid to get attached to something that will give you incentive and motivation. You can train with someone, take an art class, help animal shelters, or go on a charity mission to African countries. Over time, you will realize that you have acquired new experience, you can pass it on to others and you will become an extraordinary person, unlike anyone else - yourself.
Kindness changes people -
5 simple rules on how to become kinder. Forget about the world of evil and darkness, come over to the bright side!
In order to fill this site with only useful and interesting information for you, I analyze people’s requests on the Internet.
So, someone is interested in how to make a lot of money, someone is looking for recipes for beauty and success, someone desperately needs to build a dizzying career or, but few people are trying to find ways how to become kinder.
But, in my opinion, our world needs kindness more than ever.
This is something that does not go out of fashion and that those around you value very much in you, something that you yourself value in yourself, even if you don’t admit it.
I'm not saying that everyone should turn into Mother Teresa and forget about material goods, but you shouldn't become an insensitive cruel piece of iron either.
Why should you strive to become kinder?
On one of the forums I once saw the topic “Why should I become kinder if I am comfortable being evil?”
The discussion took 10 pages.
Some have put forward arguments in favor of the topikaster.
Like, I’m also not a kind wimp and that’s okay, I’m successfully moving up the career ladder.
Yes, this kindness only destroys, you begin to think about what is good and what is bad, and now you have lost a lucrative contract.
In short, it’s all bullshit!
Being angry and unprincipled is cool.
Their opponents asked:
“Well, how can that be, we are people. We must bring good to this world. You can't measure everything with money. If we are not kind to each other, we will turn into real animals. And in general, everyone who is evil and cruel will burn in hell.”
To be honest, I really wanted to intervene in the discussion and advise the accomplices of evil to still look for recipes, how to become kinder, because there are at least 5 reasons for this:
- Kind people are loved by others, so they are not in danger of loneliness.
- Good-natured people very rarely have nervous breakdowns, and they endure the failures that befall them much more easily.
- Good-natured people do not suffer from low or high self-esteem, because they do not need to engage in self-examination, and they can easily deal with complexes, because they are surrounded by loving people.
Good people get what they want in a shorter time than evil people, and with less effort.
The Universe seems to want to reward them for their positive attitude and for bringing good into this world.
Even in fairy tales, good always triumphs over evil.
You don’t want to be in the role of the defeated Koshchei the Immortal or Baba Yaga, do you?
What should those who want to become kinder get rid of?
Of course, it is much easier for those who were already born a kind and compassionate person.
They don't need to stress.
Becoming as positive and kind as someone who received these qualities from birth is quite difficult, but becoming a little better so that everyone around you stops hating you is possible if you put in a little effort.
Before moving to a new level, you need to get rid of unnecessary ballast, that is, qualities that are characteristic of evil people and unusual for good ones:
There is no need to envy those who have more than you; it is better to spend this energy on reaching the level of successful people.
Ingratitude.
I’m talking now about ingratitude to parents:
“Why wasn’t I born into a family of oligarchs?!”, and to my soulmate: “So what, I’ll be wearing an old mink coat for the third year? I couldn’t earn money for a new one, you bastard?!”, and to friends: “Again this fool is calling to complain about another unsuccessful romance,” and to the whole world: “I want to be the mistress of the sea!”
Learn to be grateful for what you have, but strive for more. Work on yourself, and don't constantly demand something from others!
Gloating:
"Hooray! This goat from the accounting department had her wallet stolen in a minibus. Serves her right, otherwise she’s walking around here making an eyesore in her new sheepskin coat!”
Passion for gossip.
If you like to discuss others (even without malicious intent), then you definitely won’t be accepted into the club of good people.
Should someone accidentally step on your foot in a minibus, and you immediately rush at him with your fists?
Well, why simply waste your energy? Even if you come across a boor who has not apologized, you should not teach him good manners.
Just ignore the unhappy person.
Cruelty.
Well, here, in my opinion, no comments are needed at all.
People who offend other people or animals, or do nasty things on purpose, are simply sick!
Greed.
Of course, there is no need to squander money left and right, but if you feel sorry for 10–20 hryvnia for homeless animals or sick children, then you have very strange concepts of kindness.
How to become kinder - follow these rules
If you stopped envying your successful competitors, run away from gossipers like the plague, wake up every day with gratitude, sympathize and not gloat when someone has trouble, do charity work, and you have never had a tendency to cruelty at all , then it’s time to move to the next level.
Here are a few simple rules to follow if you want to become kinder:
Learn to give well-deserved compliments.
Did your colleague come to work in a beautiful dress? So tell her about it.
Does your neighbor's new haircut look great? There is no need to remain silent about this fact.
Do good deeds without asking for anything in return.
Try to fulfill the requests of others, if you are able to do so, but do not allow them to sit on your neck, otherwise you will be considered not a good-natured person, but a doormat.
Respect other people's opinions.
If we are not talking about any fundamental issues, then simply end the conversation tactfully and find a more interesting interlocutor.
Be understanding about harmless human oddities.
Your neighbor dyed her hair green, and your work colleague plays in a modern amateur theater, where they present nightmarish, incomprehensible performances to the public?
Stop being indignant about this, because it does not affect you in any way.
Learn to enjoy life.
Bad weather, low salary, tights torn on the way to work, sour soup, runny nose - these are all frivolous reasons to walk gloomily, whine and complain to everyone around.
Smile and don't worry about minor troubles.
Do good, choose good, follow the example of good people,
which will be discussed in the next video:
Become kinder not so difficult, especially if you decide to break with the world of evil and darkness forever.
Come over to the bright side rather.
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Kindness is a scarce thing these days. But without her, the world could perish.
Therefore, we need to learn how to become kinder and how our actions can reveal this good quality. As you know, “wisdom” begins with oneself, and does not wait for changes from others.
Henry James made an interesting point that human life must contain three main things. And all three are called “kindness.”
Since 1998, Japan has proposed celebrating World Kindness Day. Now this day is celebrated annually on November 13th.
Why is kindness needed?
Is there any point in promoting and practicing good deeds? Why do people need them?
- Kindness and its manifestations can make the atmosphere around a kind person cleaner and better. The life of the person himself becomes kinder and filled with positive events.
- By showing kindness to others, the giver himself becomes happier.
- The law “What goes around comes around” returns either good or evil.
What can be done to change society? Start by changing your life, share with people the best that is in your heart. It is from this step that you will begin to change not only your life, but the entire world around you for the better.
The Privilege of Kindness
A kind person has a number of advantages compared to the life of an embittered person:
1. Psychological tests show that a positive approach makes it easier to cope with crisis and stressful situations.
2. If you are a sweet, kind person, your self-esteem will be healthy.
3. The world around such people can become comfortable, attractive, in which you want to be. Therefore, kind people always have enough friends and loved ones in their environment.
Kindness is an expression of love. Every person has this need to love and be someone's lover.
Both love and goodness satisfy a person himself if he is able to share it with others. This is the main secret of how to become kinder and find love.
Become the source of what you want! Do you want to be treated well? Be kind to others. Do you want to be loved? Experience love and share it with those around you: family, friends, the world. A happy person attracts worthy representatives of the opposite sex like a magnet!
Testaments of Virtue
Take a short test to see how kind a person you are. There is no need to count points in this test; the questions and answers already contain recommendations on what to do to become kinder.
- Do you wake up every morning grateful for the new day? If it’s still difficult to feel gratitude, start celebrating and appreciating the help of others.
Sometimes you can simply not see or take for granted the support from loved ones.
If you want to show your kindness, you need to train yourself to see the good deeds of others and thank them for them.
Gratitude is cultivated in the same way that muscles are pumped up with regular training.
- Do you say words of gratitude? The good must be seen. Don't be shy to say “thank you” or do something nice in return. This makes those to whom they are addressed kinder and gentler. A sweet smile and good mood will be a reward for your gratitude.
- Do you like to criticize and judge others? Criticism does not go near a good person. Grumpiness and disgruntled remarks will drive away everyone who was nearby.
Criticism should be constructive. Not destructive, but creative, encouraging change. If you reject something about another person, offer something in return as an alternative.
You can do a simple test: if you maintain a good-natured tone when correcting a person, you will see that your words will only benefit him. What is more important is not what you convey to him, but in what tone. Humiliation of the interlocutor at the time of comments is unacceptable.
- Do you often get into arguments? Conflict of character cannot bring peace, love and goodness around. Undoubtedly, conflicts are common in people's lives. But you can learn to solve them with dignity.
The following wisdom will help you avoid unnecessary conflicts: you should not force someone to accept your opinion. No two people are the same, and there can be no identical opinions. Everyone has their own belief in a controversial issue.
What will change you for the better?
How to become kinder and establish positive relationships with the world and people? There are some practical tips you can start implementing today!
1. The ability to give compliments has a positive impact on others.. It is useful to develop the ability not to point out people’s shortcomings, but to see even little things for which you can mark a person or give him a compliment.
This, like magic, transforms both. Do not be afraid that a person will become proud: sincere words of admiration will draw his attention only to the positive aspects of his character.
2. Don’t be lazy to do at least small good deeds. Pick up a glove dropped by someone, let someone in a hurry pass ahead, suggest a shortcut to someone, or simply give a passing grandmother a sweet smile. This will spread kindness in your area of influence and lift the spirits of you and those around you.
3. You need to come to terms with the truth that there will always be people who disagree with you. If you take this into account in relationships, anger and hatred will pass by.
4. Friendliness and complacency will undoubtedly make any atmosphere kind and sweet around you. And, sooner or later, they will come back like a boomerang.
5. Do charity work. It reflects deeds of goodness and love. Share your love and attention with those who need our help and support.
Visit an orphanage or visit a lonely grandmother, adopt a dog or cat from a shelter - this way you will save someone's life. Becoming kind is easier than it seems!
The best defense against evil
We must cherish good relationships as much as possible. If you easily pick up on someone's irritation and anger, it is better to limit your communication with such people.
If, by force of circumstances, you have to be surrounded by this category of people, you need to learn to get along with them, abstracting from their negativity, defending yourself with a sweet smile in return.
Here's a test to check: try giving a smile in response to insult or irritation. You can make a friend in the face of a seeming enemy.
You need to be able to forgive quickly. Life is short, don’t waste it on resentment and bitterness. In addition, forgiveness protects a person’s health and saves many strained relationships.
Forgiveness must become a daily discipline. We are able to control our emotions by replacing anger with mercy.
Positive life attitudes will enrich your life and the people around you. For example:
- I am grateful to the Universe for my happy life.
- I free my loved ones from my expectations.
- Nobody owes me anything.
- I will become a happy person, and will not wait for someone to do it for me.
The easiest way to do good is not under coercion, but of your own free will. Therefore, it is better to do it first, rather than wait for the first step from someone else. Kindness does not happen at the wrong time, there cannot be too much of it, it is impossible to get tired of it, it enriches and elevates.
