A person is born with a sense of self-esteem. But as he grows up, comments addressed to him, expectations, and the attitude of other people towards him make a person doubt himself. Self-esteem is what makes us believe that we can achieve great things through our abilities, that we can contribute to society, that we are worthy of leading a fulfilling life. Therefore, developing self-esteem is natural, important and useful.

Steps

Understanding yourself

Realize the importance of your attitude towards yourself. How you perceive yourself, how you talk about yourself, who you see yourself becomes reality for you. If you allow yourself to be humiliated, do not value yourself, do not notice and do not show your abilities, then you will have low self-esteem, you will be invisible to everyone. This is not humility, but rather a refusal to recognize one's own importance.

1. Don't be afraid to love yourself. Self-love is often identified with selfishness, narcissism and, to some extent, introversion at its worst. Perhaps this is partly due to the peculiarity of the Russian language, in which the word “love” has many meanings that characterize different types of love. Additionally, people often misunderstand calls to help others, to be generous, to give, to give, and to give of oneself. Although these intentions are noble, some people go to extremes: they downplay their desires, forget about their own needs because they seek approval from others, or are simply afraid of being considered selfish and only thinking about themselves. It is very important to find a middle ground here too.

   • Healthy self-love means being your own best friend. Self-love doesn't mean primping yourself all day and talking about how good you are all the time (these are signs of serious self-doubt). To love means to relate to to myself with the same care, tolerance, generosity and compassion as you would treat a close friend.
   • Don't get hung up on what other people think of you. Someone else's opinion will not help you become the person you want to be. It depends only on you whether you will have self-esteem.

2. Value your time. If you're doing volunteer or low-paying work that takes up more of your time than you can afford, while neglecting other important parts of your life such as family, personal relationships, or finding another job, then you're likely facing a conflict of values. .

   • On the one hand, you are convinced that being a volunteer and taking part in community service, helping those in need, is very noble and important for your state of mind. On the other hand, your sense of self-worth dictates that your contributions to society should be rewarded.
   • These two competing value systems create tension within many people who want to help others and have the best intentions. Trying to do everything at once, they are faced with a lack of time and money and wonder if their efforts are worth anything.
   • Sooner or later, this will lead to one or more possible consequences: you will get sick, you will get angry, you will give up, you will regret wasting so much time, or you will live like this, forgetting about a healthy balance between public and private, which will not only affect you, but it will also serve as a bad example for your children, friends and all those who watch you. If you feel the need to downplay your abilities and skills and give them away to someone else at little or no cost, this should be a warning to you. You need to stop and start valuing yourself and your time.
3. • Keep a diary of your achievements. Every time you want to humiliate yourself and cry because you are incapable of anything, pour yourself a cup of coffee, sit back, take out your diary and re-read it. Maybe there are already new achievements that you could add to it?
   • Compete only with yourself, not with others. Your achievements reflect what you do You, and that You feel at the same time, and not how others perceive them or what they themselves do.

• Every 10 years people discover something new about themselves. There is no need to blame yourself for the fact that now you are not the same as you were 10 years ago. Instead, thank your fate, pick yourself up and move on. Think about the wisdom you have gained during this time and use it.
• Don't confuse platitudes with positive affirmations. There are aphorisms, sayings, examples of “worldly wisdom” and other banal phrases that are supposedly designed to strengthen self-esteem, but may not evoke the slightest response from you. Forget about them and encourage yourself with words that really mean something to you.
• Every meeting is a lot of opportunities for you. Be interested in other people, be willing to spend time with them to learn something new. It is impossible to predict what this particular person can teach you and how he can help you develop self-esteem. In addition, hearing about other people's problems will make it easier for you to forget about your own troubles and worries.
• Let go of the past. Live for today. Remember that love is most important. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Warnings

• If you expect too much from yourself and constantly add to this list of demands, it will destroy your self-esteem by constantly reminding you of what you have not yet achieved. This may cause you to mistakenly believe that you can do things that you actually cannot, and vice versa. Calm down and start regularly reviewing your goals in life.

Self-respect helps you survive failures, unpleasant moments, and moves you towards your goals. Self-esteem is formed from childhood. Overestimated, lack of development leads to the absence of this feeling. As a result, a person considers himself inferior, is critical of his actions, and looks up to other people. Without self-respect, insecurity appears. In order to learn to think freely, without looking at the people around you, you should develop these qualities. How to develop self-esteem?

How to cultivate a culture of behavior in yourself?

The first problems begin with non-acceptance of oneself. Lacking clear skills and having lost faith in his strength, a person rushes about in search of a leader or a person to follow. Another category of people tries on the role of the victim, suffering humiliation from their superiors, swallowing attacks from close friends and acquaintances. Weak attempts to fight back end in failure. and lack of understanding of how to act. To correct the situation, think about how to cultivate a culture of behavior in yourself?

Search for positive qualities. Write down on a piece of paper the character traits that you consider positive and necessary when communicating with people. For each quality, draw an image or symbol. Prepare cards with pictures and carry them with you. Symbols help to engage the hemisphere responsible for creativity. Thus, already at this stage you will begin to develop. Secret drawings will help you hide from others what skills you are working on. You can place the pictures in a visible place.
Work on movements and speech. Remember which interlocutor is more pleasant to listen to. Surely someone who calmly discusses is not waving his arms. Confused speech, active gestures and facial expressions are confusing. You no longer listen to the narrator, but follow the manipulations with your hands and wait for the person to go astray again. Such people rarely achieve their intended goals through discussion, as they distract and irritate the interlocutor. Cultivate a culture of speech, talk in front of a mirror, watch your manners. The movements should be slow and solid, and the story should be unhurried.

Working on behavior. Stop imitating anyone or going against your own foundations. This does not mean that you need to make aggressive or provocative attacks in public. People who follow a single line of behavior and inherit their principles are respected and looked up to. Become not one of many, but a person with your own foundations and rules of life. People who are afraid of what others will say about them are far from self-esteem and self-respect.

Working on gaining self-esteem

Harmless jokes from friends, caustic words from colleagues or relatives addressed to you, lead a weak-willed person to self-examination. The situation worsens with resentment and prolonged self-flagellation. If you belong to this category of people, then it’s time to work on gaining self-esteem.

The quality of life is determined by the person himself, forming physical and personal qualities. In other words, whatever you wish for in life is what you will get. Equally important is fulfilling your plans. A plan written on paper will remain a dream if you don’t act.
Write down in a notebook the qualities you want to have. Describe how your day should go, what you want to do on the weekend, where you plan to spend your vacation. By achieving your goals, you gain self-respect and self-esteem.
Do some self-analysis. Look what gets in the way of desires. Frequent reasons are the absence of people around who can support, lack of will, and ignoring one’s own needs. People-theorists belong to a separate category. Such individuals know and can do everything, but only in words. They don’t take active action because they lack the will and.
Love yourself. Forbid speaking negatively about yourself mentally and out loud. Praise yourself for your positive qualities and find the good in your negative aspects. Fulfill small desires every week, large ones once a month. Cross completed things off your list. This motivates you to continue and not stop, pride in yourself appears, and strong-willed qualities develop.

Close your debts. First of all, we are not talking about financial debts, but unfinished business. Make a list of problems and spend 1-2 hours a day solving them. Break large tasks into small parts. Moving forward, you will see the result and clear yourself of the stones of unresolved problems that have been hanging on you for years.

Do not forget that in a healthy body there is a healthy mind. Include proper nutrition and exercise. Don't make sports mandatory. Choose a section based on your hobbies: playing tennis, dancing, fitness or mastering yoga.

Characteristics such as dignity and respect take time to develop. Make time for studying, do exercises and tasks every day. Don't look for reasons to refuse to work on yourself. You can always find 10 minutes. per day for exercise. Just get up earlier in the morning.

How to develop self-esteem? The tips described above will help, but try to enhance the result with exercises recommended by psychologists:

Determine the values ​​you plan to emulate. Write down the positive qualities of 3 close people. Then give a brief description of each friend, what traits you like, what needs to be strengthened. Conduct a comparative analysis between people, note common qualities and compatibility. Now look what happened.
Draw a map of your life. Mark significant events on a piece of paper while analyzing the past. Arrange them in descending order based on their degree of importance. Remember how you felt during the events taking place, what feelings you experienced.

These exercises help you understand what values ​​are important to you and open up your behavior patterns. Now you understand your weaknesses and know what needs to be adjusted to build your self-esteem.

On the path of spiritual development, we must understand that in order to develop our character, it is necessary to have self-respect and correct self-esteem. If we have low self-esteem, these psychological defense mechanisms will block our development and movement forward...

Respect yourself, respect others, be responsible for all your actions... (Nepalese sages)

Self-esteem and self-recognition - these are the qualities that are necessary in order to feel and experience Divine love for all of us.

As soon as we begin to respect and love ourselves, we create an atmosphere of internal trust, which creates our trust in Life.

A person who has, is focused and focused on improving his life, regardless of success, career, spiritual aspirations, any inspiration, his family or personal goals.

By building the right relationship with ourselves, we ourselves create the events of our lives, correcting those character traits that we ourselves do not like.

By pushing through our fears, we release our perceived mental limitations.

If our low self-esteem or mental limitations control our actions, then our growth stops, we lose self-respect.

“Tell me how a person judges his sense of self-worth, and I will tell you what that person is like in work, love, sex, parenting, in any important aspect of his existence, and how high he can rise. Your opinion of yourself and your sense of self-worth is the single most important factor in living a fulfilling life.” (Nathaniel Branden)

How does self-esteem arise?

Self-esteem includes self-respect And self-efficacy.

Self-esteem gives the perception of oneself as worthy of success, happiness and love. Self-efficacy- this is the ability to make decisions and cope with one’s life problems.

This is what is important for a healthy . In every life situation, people, consciously or subconsciously, always perform a quick self-assessment:

• Am I worthy?
• Am I good enough?
• Am I really competent?
• Can I trust myself?

If you answer “Yes” to these questions, then you are moving forward. With low self-esteem, a person loses the desire to act and gives up. It is in these moments that important opportunities for his happiness, growth and success are missed.

Thus, self-esteem- a necessary part of successful human existence.

Our effectiveness, success and happiness depend entirely on the appropriate level self-esteem.

Every aspect of our existence depends on it: social interactions, careers, relationships, spiritual growth and dreams.

Without healthy self-esteem people are overwhelmed by fear, paralyzed by doubts and indecision.

The roots of self-esteem are found in our childhood. A child who grows up surrounded by rewards, praise and love has healthy self-esteem.

But if the child’s environment lacks all of the above, he will feel unworthy, inferior, and will not be able to develop.

What does self-esteem affect?

For success or failure;
in our views, it depends on what prospects there may be - positive or negative;
on our confidence, which allows us to be in the right position to succeed;
on our self-expression;
fortunately for us;
for all our relationships.
on our well-being and quality of life.

Of course self-esteem develops in childhood. But still, adults who lack it need to think about it and build it so that they can move forward in life with a sense of happiness and purpose.

Happiness is participation in the lives of other people, which helps them get what they want and become better!!!

Tips for building self-esteem:

1. Be true to yourself. Live the way you think is right, not someone else.

Listening to the advice of others, analyzing your problems, make a decision that will be best for you.

It is impossible and shortsighted to please everyone. Learn to feel what is right and useful for you.

You are the one responsible for your own happiness. Your feelings are important.

2. Listen to what your inner voice says. Listen to your inner voice and thoughts.

It happens that we “catch” other people’s thoughts that are not good for us, pay attention to them and concentrate on something positive.

At the initial stage, this may seem difficult and take a lot of time until you learn to abstract yourself from the negative. Remember to be kind to yourself as you gain insight and strengthen your mental will.

3. Don't compare yourself to others. You are not like anyone else. You are a unique person! You are the only one who can exist like you and live like you!

Your perspectives, talents, gifts and worth are uniquely yours. If you want to compare yourself with someone, compare yourself with how you were yesterday. Take some time to develop respect, self-love, self-acceptance, and improve in this every day!

4. Celebrate your successes, even the smallest ones! Eat something delicious for your success, reward yourself with relaxation or socializing with friends.

5. Be grateful. We all always have something to be grateful for. Gratitude alone can lift our

When you do something for others from the heart, without expecting gratitude, someone writes it in the book of fate and sends happiness that you never even dreamed of. (Angelina Jolie)

6. Write down your own achievements and review them. Usually, we pay a lot of attention to what needs to be done, forgetting to pay attention to how far we have already come.

7. Learn something new. Be curious and study whatever interests you. With training, your knowledge grows, it increases self-esteem. Learn about spiritual awakening!

8. Do something good for others. Serve others without expecting reward. This is a very effective way to give us a feeling of satisfaction.

Psychological research shows that doing something for others is one of the fastest ways to increase your self-esteem.

9. Spend more time doing what you enjoy. Find something to do that gives you pleasure.
Remember that happiness is not selfishness, but the main goal of human existence.

Self-esteem — it is the personal belief that every person is unique, worthy and important, regardless of what others think or say about them.

The greatest human need is to be needed. If someone needs you, you feel satisfied. But if the whole existence needs you, then there is no limit to your bliss. And this existence needs even a small blade of grass just as much as it needs the biggest star. There is no problem of inequality. (Osho)

Love and be happy!

Man and woman: the art of love Dilya Enikeeva

Self-esteem

A person's merits can be judged not by his good qualities, but by how he uses them.

F. La Rochefoucauld

A woman and a man should be equal partners in their interpersonal relationships. I evaluate equality not from the standpoint of feminism, that is, in the social aspect, but in the psychological aspect.

The trouble with many of our women is that they do not value themselves highly and do not know how to demonstrate their obvious advantages, and, of course, every woman has them. There are no people made up of only shortcomings, just as there are no people made up of only virtues. Every person has both good and bad. You should not show bad qualities to anyone and try to overcome them, but you should be able to emphasize good ones.

Who came up with this stupid thesis that modesty adorns a woman? Maybe it decorates if there are no other advantages. In the last century, modesty may have been valued. Times are different now. Nowadays individuality is valued. Modesty adorns... another woman.

The most important qualities in a woman, which are the key to her happy destiny, are self-esteem, self-respect, self-confidence and high self-esteem.

You may ask, where can you get self-esteem if you don’t have it? Nurture it within yourself. This is exactly what we psychiatrists do when a person has low self-esteem. We help him gain self-confidence and get rid of his inferiority complex. We do what parents should do.

For normal self-esteem, you need to treat yourself soberly and objectively. There are women next to you who are superior to you in some way - more beautiful, more charming, more intelligent, more successful, more intelligent, more educated. So what? Why, on this basis alone, should one consider oneself worse than them? It is impossible to be the best, just as it is impossible to absorb all the positive qualities. There are no ideal people and there is no need to strive for the ideal. You are who you are, and you will love yourself as you are.

A woman who does not love herself cannot inspire self-love. You are no worse than others, you are different from them, you are an individual.

Surely there are women around you who are inferior to you in some way. Compare yourself with them, analyze how they behave - do they also have complexes or accept themselves as they are and do not grieve about it?

Not having a single advantage is just as impossible as not having a single disadvantage.

L. Vauvenargues