How not to get lost in difficult times. There will always be problems

40 lessons on how to find strength in difficult times

No one gets through their entire life without ever losing a loved one, someone they needed, or something they thought would last forever. But it is these losses that ultimately make us stronger, they are the ones that open up opportunities for future personal growth, success and happiness.
Over the past five years, my wife and I have been destined to endure many sorrows, including the unexpected death of a relative, the death of a best friend in a hospital room, the betrayal of a business partner, and even an unexpected dismissal. Yes, all of this was unpleasant, to put it mildly. Each of these incidents practically knocked us off our feet for some time. But when we stopped grieving, we continued to move forward - even stronger than before, and with a much greater understanding of life.

And this is what we managed to find out after experiencing all this:

You are not your past.- No matter how chaotic your past may be, there is a clear, fresh and open path before you. You are not your past habits. You are not your past mistakes. You are not how anyone once treated you. You are only you, here and now. You are your current actions.
Focus on what you have, not what you don't have.- You are the person you are and what you have right now. And, to be honest, your situation is not that bad - otherwise you wouldn't be reading this article. What you really need is to find one positive thought that will inspire you and help you move forward. Hold onto it as tightly as possible and try to focus on her. Yes, you may feel like you have nothing, or if you have, it’s not much, but your mind may well inspire you. And that encouragement is the only thing you really need to start moving forward again.
Problems are an integral part of personal growth.- Yes, yes, our problems and their solutions are part of life and personal growth. People lose their jobs, get sick, and sometimes even die in accidents. When you are young and doing very well, it is difficult for you to fully realize this. But the smartest, and sometimes the most difficult, thing we can do when we find ourselves in such a situation is to use our reaction to it to strengthen our will and determination. You can want to scream, throw objects at the wall and swear as much as you want - but you are above this, right? Remember, uncontrollable emotions tend to make things worse. And although tragedies are truly bad, they give us the opportunity to become stronger.
Sometimes you can allow yourself to fall apart.- You don’t have to constantly pretend to be strong and pretend that everything is fine with you. And what other people will think about you in such a situation should not bother you at all. If you want to cry, cry, it’s even useful. Smiling doesn't always mean you're happy. Sometimes it just means that you are strong enough to face your problems head on.
Life is fragile, sudden, and sometimes shorter than it seems.- Remember, tomorrow may not exist. For some it will definitely not be there. Right now someone is making plans for tomorrow, not yet knowing that he will die today. It's sad, but that's life. So spend your time today wisely and stop every now and then to realize how beautiful life is. Every moment you live is a priceless gift. Don't waste time thinking about bad things. Better spend it on something that will help you move in the right direction.
We all make mistakes sometimes.“And the sooner you accept this, the faster you can improve and ultimately make fewer mistakes.” No, you will never become absolutely infallible, but if instead of at least trying to achieve this, you sit with your hands folded, you will definitely not succeed. It’s better to do something and be wrong than to do nothing at all. Well, go ahead, get to work! You will either succeed or learn an important lesson. But either way you will win!
You are fully capable of making yourself happy. - Feelings change, people too, and time moves forward. And you have a choice. You can either endlessly dwell on the past and its mistakes, or try to make yourself happy. Smiling is a conscious choice, not some kind of miracle. Don't make the mistake of waiting for someone or something to make you happy. True happiness can only come from the depths of your soul.
Try to emotionally distance yourself from your problems.- You are not your problem. You are so much more. You are a living human being, far more complex than all your problems combined. And this means that you are stronger than them - you can change both them and the way you treat them.
Don't make the problem bigger than it deserves. - Don't let one dark cloud cover your entire sky. No matter how dark your life may be, the sun will still shine somewhere. Sometimes you just need to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep moving forward.
There is a life lesson to be learned from everything that happens.. - Of everything. Those you will meet, what will happen to you, and so on. All this is part of one big lesson called “life”. And therefore, never refuse to learn from her, especially when not everything goes the way you want it. If you didn't get the job you wanted or the new relationship didn't work out, there's something even better ahead. And the lesson you learn is the first step towards this.
View every challenge as a chance to learn something.. - Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this situation”? No matter what situation we find ourselves in, each of them can teach us something new. How to become stronger. How to communicate with people. How to trust your instincts. How to express your love. How to forgive. How to know when to let go. How to strive for something new.
Everything changes, but the sun still rises every morning.- I have bad news for you: nothing lasts forever. I also have good news for you: nothing lasts forever.
Giving up and moving on are two different things. - There inevitably comes a time in the life of each of us when we get tired of trying to catch up with everyone and fix everything, but this does not mean that we have decided to give up and give up. This is not the end, this is a new beginning. You just begin to understand that you don’t need some people and the intensity of unnecessary passions that they bring into your life.
Run away from negative people.- Every time you rid your life of something negative, you make room for positivity in it. Life is too short to spend it with people who feed on your happiness like vampires feed on blood. Get rid of negative people because they are masters at destroying your sense of confidence and self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who will bring out your best traits.
There is no ideal personal relationship. - Ideal, perfect romantic relationships exist only in romances of chivalry. Do you want your relationship to be perfect? So learn to deal with the roughness in them - that's what makes them perfect.
Don't forget to love yourself. - One of the most serious troubles that can happen to you in life is the chance of losing yourself by loving someone else too much, forgetting that you are also human and also worthy of love. Tell me, when was the last time someone told you that they love you just like that, completely, without reservation? That what you say and think is very important to this person? When was the last time someone told you that you were doing a great job or just took you somewhere just because you were happy there? And when was that “someone” you?
Don't let others make decisions for you. - Yes, you will have to learn to live without caring what these people think of you, shake off their emotions and prove to yourself that you are better than they think you are.
By holding a grudge, you primarily harm yourself, not others.- Try to always forgive people and move on in life, even if they never ask you for forgiveness. It is not they who need it, but you. By holding a grudge against someone, you deprive yourself of happiness. Rid yourself of this unnecessary stress - right now.
You are not alone. And everyone has problems. - Stay awake at night worrying about your friend. Trying to pick up the pieces of your soul from the floor after betrayal. Feeling like the worst person in the world because someone doesn't love you enough to stay with you. Be afraid to try something new because you might not succeed. None of this means that there is anything wrong with you or that you are going crazy. It just means that you are human and that you need a little time to get your bearings. You are not alone. No matter how miserable or embarrassed you may feel about the situation you find yourself in, plenty of people have been in it before you, and many will be in it after. And when you tell yourself “I’m the only one,” you are blatantly lying.
You have a lot to thank fate for. - Yes, this world is full of sorrows, but it is also full of people who overcome them. Sometimes you need to forget about what's gone from your life so you can appreciate what's left more and look forward to what's next. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to experience life fully.” And even when things seem to be rubbish, it is useful to look at your life from the other side. You didn't go to bed hungry. You didn't have to sleep on the street. You have a choice of what to wear. And at work, you don’t work 20 hours for a meager salary. You have access to clean drinking water. If you get sick, you can go to the doctor. You don't have to shake in fear. Do you have Internet access? After all, you can read. Many people would consider you exorbitantly rich - so appreciate what you have.
Constantlyfeedmyinternalhope. - Loss, anxiety, illness, a trampled dream - no matter how bad you feel, no matter how exorbitant your ambitions seem to you, once a day try to put your hands on your heart and say out loud: “Here lies hope.”
An unpleasant truth is much better than a sweet lie.-You must see things as they are, and not as you wish they were. Better a bitter medicine than a sweetened poison.
Sometimes it's hard to know how close you are to success.“We always move forward point by point, and only when we look back do we see how they form a line.” Success is often much closer than it seems and awaits us when we least expect it.
Sometimes we are most lucky when we don't get what we want.. “Exactly, because it forces us to reevaluate our priorities, opens the way to new opportunities and generally forces us to look at everything with a fresh, unfettered look.
Laughter is the best cure for stress.- Laugh at yourself, and more often. Try to find humor in any situation. Optimism attracts happiness. If you are positive, you won't have to look for good things and good people. They will find you themselves.
Mistakes are only good for us. - We all make mistakes. We allow people to take advantage of us and treat us in ways we don't deserve. But if you think about it, our poor elections have taught us a lot, and although we can't take back some things, and we won't get an apology from some people, you won't make the same mistake next time. And now we have more power over our future. Remember, it is not the one who falls who is mistaken, but the one who does not get up, even when he has such an opportunity. So stand up! Often good things disappear from our lives only for something better to take their place.
Worrying is just wasting energy. - Worrying will not save you from troubles tomorrow. It will relieve your energy today.
If you're having trouble moving forward, take small steps. - You must always force yourself to move forward, especially in difficult times. You can't lose momentum! As long as you move forward - even at a snail's pace - you will certainly reach the finish line. So be happy with every step you take, no matter how big. After all, every step takes us away from the past to where we want to be tomorrow. And no matter where you are striving - for a better life or a cherished dream - you will achieve it by taking many steps in the same distance, one at a time.
There will always be someone who doesn't like you. “You simply won’t be able to please everyone around you.” No matter what you do, there will always be someone who won't like you. So don't pay attention to him and do what your heart tells you. What others say and think about you is not that important. It is much more important what you think about yourself.
You will be much better off without some of the people you thought you needed.- The sad truth is that some people will only be with you as long as you have what they need. Well, when the need for you disappears, they were the only ones they saw. And the good news is that sooner or later all these temporary workers will disappear from your life, leaving only those reliable friends you can rely on.

We all go through difficult times. This is life, and there is nothing you can do about it. Some people's lives are harder than others, but we all experience pain, loss and unhappiness at times. But no matter what happens, don't forget about some things.

Family, friends, feelings, responsibilities - all this remains with you, no matter what happens. We decided to expand this list, and here are 10 rules that you should always remember.

Pain is a part of life, it helps you grow

Of course, we always want to follow the white line. But this does not happen, just as it does not happen that love will always bring only happiness. But what you always have at your disposal is the choice of how to respond to pain. Look for the good in every situation and remember that you have someone to rely on. And no matter what, remember that there are worse situations.

Life is pain. Anyone who speaks differently is trying to sell you something. William Goldman

Thinking and the right attitude towards the problem is already half the solution

For many, success does not come because of incredible intelligence and genius. It's simpler: the right attitude and effort are what will lead you to a happy ending. Look at what is happening from the right side. And remember that a problem only exists when you think it exists.

Positive thinking creates more miracles than any other drug. Patricia Neil

Sometimes your greatest fears are just illusions

Most often we are afraid of the unknown. We don’t yet know whether something good or bad will happen, but we set ourselves up for the bad in advance. Fight your fear and stop being afraid of what is not there. You are no longer 10 years old and there is no monster in your closet.

Problems can be turned into opportunities

More and more often I am beginning to think that for success there is nothing more important than experience. Therefore, when a problem comes your way, you have two options: become a victim and submit to the problem, or fight depression and failure and emerge victorious. Decide who you want to be.

You can't solve the problem unless you take some responsibility.

How we love to blame others. But then again, you are not 10 years old, and complaining about the people around you is simply uncool. Therefore, if you are still going to solve the problem, you will have to take on a little responsibility, and as a result, risk.

But risk is what lies behind any successful business. Take a risk, and even if you make a mistake, you will gain invaluable experience. Win-win situation!

All we have is now

I recommend you read , which does a wonderful job of exploring the topic of how much we obsess over our past and future and what is not really there. Dreaming isn't so bad. But don't turn your dreams into an excuse for not doing anything right now. Apart from this “now” there is nothing else.

There's always something to be grateful for

Life, family, loved ones, random passers-by, anyone. If you have a roof over your head, food and health, it's not so bad. You don't need to be a supermodel or a millionaire to be happy. This is not what happiness is, and there is always someone in the world whose life is better than yours.

But there are also many people in the world whose lives are much worse. So look at what you have and don't strive for what you don't have.

Success doesn't come overnight

Moreover, it does not arrive as quickly as we would like. True success comes slowly. And confidently. But only if you constantly make efforts for this. Continue your journey this way and you won't go wrong.

Patience, perseverance and hard work are three things that make up the ultimate combination of success. Napoleon Hill

Don't expect praise from others. Evaluate yourself and your work yourself

People who expect praise from others cause nothing but pity. This only indicates that a person is not so confident in himself that he needs someone to tell him that this is not so. Work on your self-confidence. Be your biggest fan and love yourself.

I don't love myself. I'm going crazy with myself. Mae West

You are not alone

And never forget this. But if it turns out that you don't have support, go to the Internet. Forums, similar interests, social networks. There are many lonely people in the world who also need advice. Find them if you need support.

Life is a hard thing. But instead of becoming depressed and feeling sorry for yourself and others, understand that some situations allow you to become stronger, and do it. Get stronger.

How to survive difficult times? Do you have any tips or real-life examples?

Instructions

Analyze the current situation: why is it difficult for you? Are you exaggerating its severity? Perhaps what happened is not worth your mental anguish, since the experience you gained is much more valuable than what you lost. If this is the case, then you should calm down and continue to live life to the fullest, remembering that life, no matter what, is beautiful and amazing.

If your life has really hit a rough patch, serious failures are haunting you, stop in your daily rush, take a break from the hustle and bustle. Take time off or leave without pay, go somewhere to relax, take a break from everything.

When experiencing a breakup with a loved one, try not to focus on what happened, but to move forward. The past is gone and the future is not yet, but it depends on what you do now. If you spend your energy on constant worries and lamentations about the event that happened, you are unlikely to be able to start a full new life. Don’t give in to depression and despondency, force yourself to do something, don’t sit within four walls. New acquaintances, trips, hobbies and interests, as well as the desire to forget all the negativity that has happened will help you regain the ability to enjoy life again.

The loss of a loved one, his passing away from life is another difficult test that you must endure. If this grief has occurred in your family, remember that in this situation. Your task is not to succumb to despondency and depression, to live life to the fullest, remembering that it is not in your power to change the established laws of life that have developed over thousands of years. Don’t hold back your emotions, cry if you feel like crying, but don’t cultivate feelings of pain and fear of death. Don’t forget about other family members, it’s probably no less difficult for them than for you, and you have the power to help them and yourself survive the pain of loss together.

If your difficult times are associated with financial difficulties, reconsider your attitude towards this problem. Are things really that bad for you? After all, the scale of the problem can be different: some people do not have enough money to buy a new car, while others do not have enough money to buy food. If you are in a really difficult situation, try not to give in to fears and panic, find any temporary source of income that will help you survive until your financial situation normalizes. If you are tormented by the fact that there is no job that matches your skill level, agree to any vacancies and consider this step as a useful life experience.

Learn to live without giving in to panic and emotions. To do this, use the following technique: when you feel fear, anger, etc., do not try to fight them, give them a place in your mind, while observing them as if from the outside. By observing negative feelings, you will stop associating yourself with them and will be able to get out of their influence. By practicing this technique, you will learn to notice in time and reject unpleasant thoughts and emotions that have touched your consciousness. As a result, you will become a calmer and more harmonious person.

Family, friends, feelings, responsibilities - all this remains with you, no matter what happens. We decided to expand this list, and here are 10 rules that you should always remember.

Pain is a part of life, it helps you grow

Life is pain. Anyone who speaks differently is trying to sell you something. William Goldman

Thinking and the right attitude towards the problem is already half the solution

Positive thinking creates more miracles than any other drug. Patricia Neil

Sometimes your greatest fears are just illusions

Problems can be turned into opportunities

You can't solve the problem unless you take some responsibility.

But risk is what lies behind any successful business. Take a risk, and even if you make a mistake, you will gain invaluable experience. Win-win situation!

All we have is now

There's always something to be grateful for

But there are also many people in the world whose lives are much worse. So look at what you have and don't strive for what you don't have.

Success doesn't come overnight

Patience, perseverance and hard work are three things that make up the ultimate combination of success. Napoleon Hill

Don't expect praise from others. Evaluate yourself and your work yourself

I don't love myself. I'm going crazy with myself. Mae West

You are not alone

Life is a hard thing. But instead of becoming depressed and feeling sorry for yourself and others, understand that some situations allow you to become stronger, and do it. Get stronger.

How to survive difficult times? Do you have any tips or real-life examples?

1) Negation.
This is the very moment when we do not want to live with our misfortune, we are afraid of tomorrow and accepting the obvious. Usually at this moment we have to enter into a completely different reality, not similar to the one that existed before. We do not recognize the existence of an insoluble (or very difficult to resolve) contradiction. This period lasts from a couple of minutes to several years. Realizing that trouble has happened and will one day make itself felt (or has already made itself felt), we live oppressed by constant fear and depression. What's important here? First of all, don’t bury your head in the sand. In addition, we should not confuse real trouble with a bunch of troubles or fears that our rich imagination throws at us. If trouble happens, it is not minor and sits in our soul as a huge thorn. If the trouble happened suddenly, but it is fixable, it is important to start solving the problem not immediately, when you are still in a state of shock, but at least a day later, when you spent the night with trouble.

2) Compensation and acknowledgment of what happened.
During this period, we ask for help and don’t understand how to continue living, we don’t want to think about the future and try to somehow distract ourselves. Having admitted grief, we experience very strong stress. At this time, everything is seething in us, but we are not capable of any action, since both the processes of excitation and inhibition are working in the body at the same time. Not every organism can withstand this, and the subconscious gets to work, looking for a way out, for example, drawing our attention to another area where there are no difficulties. The way out for negativity is in some conversations, chores, or just a walk. The subconscious thus displaces all the thoughts and questions that torment us. Here it is important to allow the subconscious to work, that is, to distract from the past: know that neurosis does not arise because of a difficult period in life, but because we overwhelm ourselves. But do not be distracted by artificial and strong irritants, that is, alcohol or drugs. In this case you will again get a vicious circle

3) Aggression.
What happens during this period? Trouble still sits like a thorn in our souls and controls us. And then we notice that everything is bad with us, but everyone around us is as before. This is where aggression is born. A person can direct it at himself, perceiving trouble as his own fault and becoming convinced of his own inferiority. This is how self-confidence is undermined. If self-esteem is high, a person lashes out at those around him, trying to lower their level of existence and make it worse for those who are doing well. The main thing is not to get stuck here. Analyze what happened, change yourself, whatever, just don’t get stuck in your aggression.

4) Reliving.
We begin to relive our misfortune, talk about it and share it with loved ones (or not so much. This is already recovery, and by reliving and telling, we make the grief less significant. If we talk about our misfortune several times, it no longer seems terrible. We also these moments we relieve ourselves of the imaginary (or real) guilt for what happened. But don’t get stuck and press on pity, otherwise you will turn into an energy vampire.

5) New birth.
We learn to live with our misfortune on our own. Our task is to turn our thorn into a new part of ourselves. Here you can say a lot of cliches about the fact that what does not kill us, and about the fact that we have become stronger after a difficult period. No, this is now for life and you build it without trouble. It’s just that the entire difficult period in life can be perceived as rebirth.

— How to learn to take difficulties lightly.

The essence of a simple attitude to any problem is as follows:

1)Rest assured, this is temporary. Nothing lasts forever, including difficulties. It won't always be like this!

2) Everything that happens in a person’s life, he is able to overcome. Cultivate self-confidence in your abilities. Over time, it will become your unshakable quality;

3) If you feel bad, help someone whose situation is even worse. Then you will understand how happy you are;

4) You can’t involve all sorts of emotions when you’re trying to solve a problem. It takes away energy and deprives you of strength. Learn to see only the essence of the problem, as well as ways to solve it. Determine your capabilities and gradually eliminate the consequences of the difficulties that arise.

5) There is no need to worry about future possible troubles. Anticipating possible difficulties, just be prepared to solve them. Do everything possible to prevent an unfavorable scenario from developing. Once you have done your job, be satisfied with your actions: it is impossible to predict everything. However, to a greater extent, you will be ready for any troubles and will easily cope with them;

6) Concentrate on the positive aspects of your life. Even when restoring a destroyed house, you can think not about your loss, but about the future new, even better house. Learn to enjoy life despite any adversity, be grateful for what you have. The feeling of well-being will not leave you if you learn to appreciate everything you have;

7) Be prepared for losses. This is an integral part of our life. While we lose something, we still gain something. You need to be able to see the positive, beneficial sides in any situation;

8) There is no use in being angry because difficulties have arisen. Just try to quickly cope with the situation, without wasting your strength, without complaining about fate. By mentally or out loud repeating your complaints, you attract more and more troubles;

9)Be active, work physically. Even a simple jog can remove heavy thoughts, making it easier to cope with a difficult situation;

10) Stop complaining and make an effort to overcome a difficult situation. Think, look for a way out, direct all the energy of your thoughts to find a solution and simply do the necessary work;

11) Having dealt with the problem, rejoice from the bottom of your heart! Capture a useful experience in your memory. Everything that does not kill us strengthens us. You have become stronger, more confident, wiser.

There are really difficult situations in life, deep grief, when we lose loved ones, ability to work, our health, property. Then use these tips:

1) Repeat to yourself: “I will overcome this!” Ask God for help. If you don't believe in God, ask the Universe for strength. These forces will come, rest assured! We attract what we think about. When you ask the world for strength, you will certainly receive it.

2) Ask your loved ones for help if you feel like you can’t cope with the situation. Often human participation fills the soul with new strength, relieves tension, and negative emotions go away;

3) Choose the right thoughts: those that create, not destroy. After the storm there will always be sunshine.

— 5 tips on how to cope with life’s difficulties and pain.

1) Remember the difficult moments in life.
It may seem like a bad idea, but it's not that simple - thoughts of failure bring sadness, but at the same time they help you understand that you can overcome any difficulty. You were able to continue living.

3)Abstract yourself from the situation.
It can be difficult to make rational decisions when you find yourself in the middle of a problem. Of course, you shouldn’t run away from difficulties either, but you also don’t need to plunge headlong into a difficult situation - this way you lose the ability to normally weigh all the arguments and sensibly assess your situation. Try to abstract yourself in every difficult situation and think about everything that is happening calmly. Take a break.

4)Remind yourself that you are not alone.
It’s so easy to withdraw into yourself and feel completely alone, but remembering that someone who absolutely loves you is nearby is much more difficult. Sometimes that person isn't around in real life, but you can find support online. No matter who you are, there are people who care, who are ready to listen and support. Sometimes strangers can understand you better than you can understand yourself. Just find this person.

5) Accept the situation and become stronger.
No matter how difficult it may be, you should accept the situation and come to terms with what happened - it’s still impossible to change the past. It doesn't matter who is to blame for what happened. Just accept what happened and move on. Now you have new experience that will help you deal with the same problem next time. You will be stronger and will not repeat your mistake. Life goes on, time never stands still, the main decision you can make is the decision to move on. Don't look back to the past, everything has already happened. There is a completely new life ahead of you, not connected with this problem.