One of the current topics on parenting forums is the issue of potty training a child. Often such topics become hotly debated: some parents believe that by the age of one year the child simply must be potty trained, others use diapers up to the age of three, and still others practice early (infant) planting. Grandmothers (neighbors, acquaintances who have a child of approximately the same age) often add fuel to the fire - “Well, how can that be! You (the parents) were already asking to use the potty at 7 months, and it’s high time for your grandson!” And, oddly enough, each side is right in its own way.

The process of defecation can be conscious and uncontrolled reflex. The first case usually occurs at the age of about two years, precisely when the child becomes physiologically ready for the potty. If a child under one year old is accustomed to write on the command “write-write”, to the sound of water or after certain routine moments (after drinking or sleeping), then here we are talking about an uncontrolled reflex process.

Planting. Personal experience

During that wonderful time when I was pregnant, I came across the book “Life Without Diapers.” You can download it from this link.

I read the book and happily forgot about it.

Andryusha was born at the end of July - during a period of extreme heat. The birth turned out to be difficult, so we spent two weeks in the maternity hospital. Of course, in diapers. Upon arrival home, the diapers were removed due to the incredible stuffiness and heat at home (the child was lying naked). And this is what I noticed - before peeing, the baby uttered a sharp “A”. That's when I remembered the book. The hit was 100%. Not a single wet diaper in a day. At that moment, I felt my child like never before. I felt pleasure when I held the baby over the bathtub instead of washing diapers. This went on for three happy months.

An important digression. The term "Seating" has nothing to do with the ability to sit. You just need to hold the child as if you were washing him over a sink, bathtub or basin.

And then autumn came. For some reason it was wildly cold in the apartment then, and the heating was still not turned on. And then diapers came to the rescue. Diapers were added on an ongoing basis for leaving the house and for sleeping at night. And yes, the abrupt “A” before each pee has disappeared. When the child was sitting confidently (5-6 months), the grandmother gave us a gift - a potty. Andryusha did not accept the gift and flatly refused to sit on it. Well, we laughed and put the pot in the far corner. Going to the bath also stopped being enjoyable - the child would wriggle out, cry, and then do his business in his romper. Diapers have become an integral part of our lives - not a single night's sleep or a single exit from the house was complete without them. The rest of the time the child was only in rompers or panties.

Personal observations:

- the child almost always pees immediately after sleep;

- the child can write while sucking (breasts, bottles);

- the urge often occurs 10-15 minutes after feeding.

Thus, a sensitive mother will always be able to catch the moment when it is necessary to “hold” the child in order to avoid wet diapers. However, early planting is basically a process uncontrolled by the child, which in some cases can fail (especially if the child has a strong character).

So let's consider main criteria for a child’s conscious readiness to use the potty:

— The child can remain dry for 2-2.5 hours.

— A defecation schedule has been established (the baby has bowel movements at approximately the same time).

— Discomfort occurs when wearing wet and dirty diapers.

— There is the ability to communicate your urges (gestures, sounds, words).

As a rule, all these conditions appear around the age of two (each child has its own period). It is difficult to meet a healthy four-year-old child relieving himself in his pants.

How to potty train a child?

Increasingly, intriguing headlines like “How to potty train a child in 3 (1.2) days (week)?” appear on the Internet and in printed materials. It sounds promising, but if the baby is not physiologically mature, then no potty training method will help. On the other hand, when the child is ready, he can, without any tricks, go to the potty one fine day, pull down his pants and do his business.

From personal experience and the above criteria, the following recommendations were born:

1. Leave the child alone. Constantly offering a child a potty can only cause a protest reaction. If the baby resists and screams, put the potty aside and return to it later - in a week, or even a month. The baby's nervous system is more expensive.
2. Don't scold your child for wet pants.
3. Do not move the potty from room to room. He should always stand in one place (even if the child does not look in his direction).
4. From time to time, talk about how great it is to relieve yourself in the potty, read children's books on the "potty theme", put toys on the potty, quietly adding water, praise them with your child and pour out the contents of the potty together. You can also watch short videos of children sitting on the potty.
5. Throw away the diapers. For a walk - spare underwear, at night - oilcloth under the sheet. No exceptions!
6. Praise for good results.

Potty training. Personal experience: The Ballad of Three Pots

Until the age of one, Andryusha was offered a potty only 4 times - at 5 months, then at 7, 9 and 10. And each time there was a negative reaction: tears, arching and a reluctance to sit in it at all.

A year later, my second grandmother gave me a new pot - a different shape. There was hope that this pot would be liked. As a result, Andryusha sat quietly on this potty once, and that was in the store when they bought it. Afterwards there is a complete reluctance to sit on the potty.

And the new pot was set aside. When Andryusha was one year and nine months old, I thought, maybe my big boy is uncomfortable sitting on these small potties? And then my husband and I bought a new one – a tall pot.

Not so! Andrey continued to ignore all three pots.

And then I took an important step - removed the diapers altogether (and were for a night's sleep and a walk). By the way, a couple of months ago, night feedings were removed, so my son slept all night. To my surprise, spare clothes were not needed during the walk - the child did not wet himself.

The second step was giving up the potty - "breaking stereotypes " My son was afraid of the pot like fire, he didn’t even want to sit on it, and then I remembered our early experience of putting him in a baby bath. I put the child in the bathtub (at first he sat down there, as if bathing) and opened a thin stream of water - the child peed. This went on for 2 days. I didn’t open the water again, Andryusha already understood what was happening. My son and I even came up with a humorous name for this whole process - “Going on a boat.”

We usually went to the “ship” in the evening before going to bed, in the morning after sleep, before and after walks, after waking up during the day, and when Andryusha began to touch his genitals. And he also started asking! He ran joyfully and asked to board the “ship.” When my son started peeing in the bathtub while standing, I started placing a recess from the pot under the stream. Later the bath was removed. All that was left was the pot.

Our three pots were placed around the apartment in different rooms. Andryusha still did not want to sit on them. I wasn't being stubborn.

All this time, we read books about potty training, and also put a baby doll, specially purchased for this purpose, on the potty, and spoke “magic” words.

Closer to two years, the son himself approached the potty, which had been untouched for months, pulled down his panties, sat down and peed. Now he sits on ALL potties without fear, no matter what is offered to him.

Important! It is better for boys to choose a pot with an oval hole, for girls - with a round one.

Pictures are clickable (Ozone):

Thus, sooner or later, every child will have a moment of using the potty. The parent’s task is to make this path of mastery not thorny, but soft and positive.

Sincerely yours, Oksana Ivashchenko.

The energies of light, coming intensely to Earth today from the Unmanifested Beginning, in the DNA cells, will fill with themselves precisely these layers of the root cause of Human suffering and will begin to dissolve them. Therefore, no matter what happens to you, remember, this happens only so that you pay attention to reactions of irritation, dissatisfaction, would be consciously transferred to the Light-Spirit of Life-Love inside you, saying to yourself “everything is already good, you are loved, thank you for everything that was and will be in my life. I love you (say your name ).Thank you." (it is advisable to pronounce it in a whisper so that the cells of the body, the body can hear it in your native language, thereby you transfer to them the energy of unconditional love and stress dissolves in them, which means the root causes of dramas in your life disappear. 2018.28.06. Bright thoughts to all, good day/
Lei.

the emergence of the root causes of all dramas and tragedies in human lives.
Once upon a time on Earth
The female goddess of the earth fell in love with man.
The Goddess gave him the Gift of Love in his heart...
and that man became Godlike...
and fell in love, but not with HER Goddess,
and the earthly woman,
and gave her a fiery heart,
not the Goddess.

Then for the first time the Goddess forgot herself for a moment.
From such injustice and unearthly pain
She decided to attract magic and make it so
to live forever with your loved one,
to love him and to be loved by him.
In the name of LIFE with him
She gave up her heart
in which SHE-LOVE lived,
SHE IS A GODDESS...

When I realized what I had done,
it was late...
She cursed herself forever...
Without your heart
she was no longer a Goddess of the fire of love,
SHE WAS just a form
in life indifferent and cold.
I lost myself as a person
and she became an inhuman...
I couldn’t be a woman GODDESS...
I could only be a bitch, a woman...

Then HER Soul chose a male form
and began to learn my life lessons.
At least the human heart was in her
and the Man was a man,
he kept the nonhuman inside himself,
her curse on a woman is
to myself in that
feminine, incarnation,
and at the same time hatred and self-revenge
and the unforgiveness of an earthly woman.
In the depths of his subconscious
all these clumps lay like snakes...

The man lived without knowing troubles,
until one day on his way
She didn't meet.
As soon as he looked into her eyes,
as if lightning flashed
and my heart burned.
It stopped for a moment
then it began to beat, toss and turn,
like a bird in a cage...
He forgot everything...
He was on fire
and was ready for her sake into fire and water,
but... she was indifferent to him...

Then He decided to achieve it...
Your wealth, power and heart
He laid it at her feet...
She calmly accepted his gifts,
I allowed myself to be loved for this,
but her heart was cold towards Him...
He deserves tenderness and love
She was needed...

One day on the way
She met a guy...
and... she lost her head,
burned with love passion
and everything that happened in her life,
I gave everything to the guy:
and heart, and love, and tenderness,
both herself and all the wealth that the Man gave her...

The man turned gray with grief...
He didn't understand
what happened to her,
because he gave her everything
surrounded by wealth
loved her, cherished and groomed her...
He expected love and affection,
but received ingratitude,
meanness, and betrayal, and lies...

From his subconscious
all feelings of hatred, revenge,
cursing yourself
for renouncing Love in the name of life with a person,
all the snake clots have awakened -
pieces of non-humans from the past,
female incarnations,
and crawled into his consciousness,
and aroused jealousy and resentment.

He cursed his woman...
in a fit of jealousy, the blind man killed her...
He looked at her with crazy eyes,
loved and hated, sobbed frantically...
Until I realized
that he had lost her forever.
He hated himself at that moment
and the Man cursed himself for
that he deprived another person of LIFE
because I was unloved,
and he loved her immensely...

His curse was deposited in his Soul
and self-hatred, a man...
So two particles were born in Man,
non-humans and non-humans who cursed themselves...
in ONE OF THEM -
CURSE OF LOVE,
IN THE OTHER, THE CURSE OF LIFE.
THE ROOT CAUSES of all non-human pain
and all the suffering of the inhuman in MAN.

Since then, from incarnation to incarnation
The One Soul was born in various forms.
She took life lessons
and every time I shared my CONSCIOUSNESS....
Until one day She met herself.
Until I remembered myself:
LOVE-GODDESS-LIFE and GOD-MAN.

Reborn again in this life
One Soul, with that
to collect all the particles again,
cleanse, resurrect, unite...

Simultaneously with historical songs, ballads- epic songs with family and everyday themes, which are based on tragic conflicts. In the spotlight ballads– individual destinies of people who, due to historical or social conditions, find themselves in a hopeless situation. In historical ballads, a person or family members find themselves in a tragic situation under special historical conditions (enemy invasion, war). We have already talked about them when thinking about historical songs. In love and family ballads the conflict arises between a girl and a young man or between family members on the basis of love or family relationships; in social ballads, the cause of the tragic conflict is social inequality.

Ballads and their plot

The plots of ballads about love and premarital relationships are based on conflicts related to a young man and a girl, and only one ballad, “Vasily and Sophia,” tells the story of the mutual love of the heroes destroyed by Vasily’s mother. Trees grow on the grave of lovers and intertwine their branches, symbolizing the victory of love over death. In most love affairs ballads a girl dies at the hands of a young man whom she does not want to marry (“Dmitry and Domna”, “Ustinya”, “Paranya”), is deceived and dies or suffers (“Cossack and the Tavern”, “The Kidnapping of a Girl”). Sometimes a girl commits suicide so as not to become the wife of an unloved man (some versions of the ballad “Dmitry and Domna”), being deceived, drowns herself (“The Deceived Girl”) or kills a child (“The Nun Drowns the Child”).

Family ballads

The largest and most popular group of family ballads are about tragic conflicts between husband and wife. Usually the wife dies at the hands of her husband (“Prince Roman lost his wife,” “The husband ruined his wife,” “Fedor and Martha,” “The Slandered Wife”). The wife destroys her husband in the ballads: “The husband’s wife stabbed (hung, burned).” Quite a large group ballads tells about the relationship between brother and sister. In a number of ballads, brothers take care of their sister and severely punish her for violating morality (“The King and the Maiden”, “Alyosha and the Sister of Two Brothers”). A number of ballads are devoted to the theme of a brother being poisoned by a sister, in which a sister sometimes kills her brother by mistake or so that he does not interfere with her meeting her lover. The theme of incest (incest) is found in ballads about brother and sister (“The Hunter and His Sister,” “Brother Married His Sister”) and about mother and sons (“The Widow’s Children”). In social ballads As a rule, social conflict is intertwined with family conflict. An important place among them is occupied by ballads about the tragic conflict as a result of social inequality (“Well done and the princess”, “Prince Volkonsky and Vanya the Keykeeper”, “The princess loved the footman”), as well as about robbers (“The Robber Husband”, “The Robber Brothers and Sister” ).

Household ballads

In a number ballads the tragic does not have a sublime character, that is, it is not associated with high goals, patriotic or moral deeds, but with low, narrowly personal aspirations, which have an everyday basis. The husband kills his wife, having learned that she did not manage the household well in his absence (“The Slandered Wife”), the prince kills the girl who does not reciprocate his feelings, so that “no one will get her.” The irreconcilability of contradictions causes sharp clashes and the use of decisive, cruel means by negative characters. The tragic usually manifests itself in a crime (murder, poisoning directed against an innocent victim). TO ballad Aristotle’s statement regarding the heroes of tragedy may well apply: “Let the hero be presented as such as no one would wish to be.” Unlike ancient tragedies, where the actions of negative characters are often explained by the will of the Gods, fate, fate, heroes ballads character traits such as vindictiveness, suspicion, and the inability to curb one’s violent temper lead to crime. Tragedy in ballads depends not only on the character of the characters, but also on the circumstances caused by the disorder of the surrounding world. A deceived girl is forced to drown her newborn child to save herself from shame. The behavior of people in ballads is assessed from the standpoint of a faithful, ideal family - this reveals the moral aspect of the tragic. Ballad, like an exemplary tragedy (according to Aristotle), represents a transition from happiness to misfortune of an immoral, negative hero, and this also reveals its moral aspect.

The suffering and death of a positive character and the repentance of the killer evokes in listeners a peculiar emotional reaction, similar to Aristotelian catharsis: sympathy, compassion, moral purification, awareness of the inhumanity of evil, reflection and assessment of the characters. IN ballads The tragic guilt of the hero is not always traced, and it is also not always explained how the innocently persecuted victim incurred the hatred of the villain. This is due to the specifics of folklore, which strives for the ultimate typification of phenomena. And yet in many ballads we can detect the tragic guilt of the heroes. IN ballad"Slandered Wife" An enraged husband cuts off his wife's head. He acts consciously, but unintentionally, acts unfairly without being unfair at all. He was pushed to a tragic act by a state of passion that arose as a result of erroneous knowledge. Vasily’s mother (“Vasily and Sophia”) wants to get rid of her son’s unworthy, from her point of view, chosen one.

Trying to destroy her, she does not suspect that her son will share the poisoned drink with his beloved. Here a new aspect of the tragic appears: “The unjust should not be happy,” Aristotle believed. A similar idea is uniquely realized in many ballads: a villain, killing a person he hates, unwittingly destroys his loved one. The art of the tragic in ballads lies in the ability of their creators to see the tragic in life and convey it in a poetically generalized form with great emotional tension. The peculiar combination of epicness and drama enhances the aesthetic impact of the tragic, which is greatly facilitated by the extreme conciseness of the dramatic moments. Ballad To a certain extent, dispassion is characteristic, which Pushkin considered necessary for a dramatic writer.

Events are narrated in a stern, objective tone, and at the most tense moments the narrative is interrupted by dialogue or monologue. The art of the tragic is clearly revealed in the depiction of the attitude towards the terrible as ordinary (the poisoner calmly and confidently prepares the poison; the torture of the daughter-in-law by the mother-in-law in the bathhouse is described in detail). It is this attitude that shocks listeners. The power of the emotional and aesthetic impact of ballads lies in the art of the tragic opposition of life and death, which makes it possible to more deeply understand the joy of being and experience soul-cleansing compassion for the perishing. The German philosopher N. Hartmann very subtly noted the essence of the sublime in the tragic: “It is not the death of good as such that is sublime, but the good itself in its destruction is illuminated by the sublime. And the more clearly death is reflected in the suffering and defeat of the fighter, the more the charm of the tragic intensifies.”

When Victor Pinchuk says that they are settling scores with him, he is absolutely right. This is exactly what happens, and in the most literal sense: they actually go into his pocket for the bill. Viktor Mikhailovich believes that more than four hundred million dollars in parting will replenish his family budget. Yulia Vladimirovna is convinced that this is a little fat and that kind of money would look much better in the state budget. It’s funny, but on the main point they are completely in agreement: Pinchuk and his partners have nothing to do at the Nikopol Ferroalloy Plant... It’s time to leave. Which is exactly what is happening. In fact, there is a struggle to delay the time during which the plant will be resold. It is also known to whom they will sell - two Russian businessmen, Viktor Vekselberg (Renova group) and Alexander Abramov (Evrazholding). By the way, against this background of hasty attempts to sell the plant, the organization of campaigns by indignant workers who do not want to lose their beloved owner looks very touching. In general, the deal turns out to be extremely public: the positions of the parties are quite clear. Tymoshenko quite officially warned Vekselberg and Abramov that it was not worth buying shares from Pinchuk - the government still would not recognize the legality of the purchase. In exchange, they are asked to wait a little and take part in a privatization competition for the sale of the same package, but the seller will be the state. The prime minister's position is also strengthened by the fact that she has allies among the company's shareholders - the Privat group. The alliance is quite unique: the relationship between Igor Kolomoisky and Yulia Tymoshenko was not always warm, but in this case their goals do not contradict each other. The government needs resources, and Privat needs a market for products for its manganese mining and processing plants. At the same time, Privat structures are also ready to pay for Nikopol ferroalloy. It is unlikely that Privat is delighted with the prospect of paying dearly, but it is obvious that this is a better option than the current situation. There is a personal point here: at one time Pinchuk greatly offended the Privatovites. In the mid-90s, the group actively bought shares in manganese mining and processing plants (Ordzhonikidze and Marganets) and ferroalloy plants, building a chain of “mining - production - sales”. The same business, albeit on a somewhat smaller scale, was carried out by Konstantin Grigorishin and his colleagues at the Stakhanov Ferroalloy Plant - Anatoly Golubchenko. Pinchuk appeared in the scheme at the very end, according to his traditional share participation scheme. Considering his direct access to Bankova at that time, he made an offer that was difficult to refuse. “Credit-Dnepr”, which belongs to him, received a state-owned stake in NFP for management, and one of his companies - “Bipe” - quickly and well won a competition in the State Property Fund for the sale of 26%. At the same time, operational management of the Nikopol plant ended up with Privat. A big plus for Pinchuk was that this whole scheme was absolutely free for him. The purchased blocking package was paid for by Privat, receiving half of it for it. Until recently, it never occurred to anyone to pay the state for the right to manage... But soon they wanted more - complete control. As a result, already in 2002, a struggle was in full swing at NZF between Privat (whose friendly companies bought up approximately 26%) and Pinchuk’s structures, which had 23% “of their own” plus 50% in management. Moreover, the “interpipe people” could not manage to place a friendly registrar on the register of shareholders. In the end, everything happened according to an openly forceful scheme, slightly seasoned with formulations about the benefit of the plant: the meeting of NZF shareholders removed the Privat leadership. After which an openly scandalous competition took place in 2003 to sell the state stake to Viktor Mikhailovich. The terms of the sale were immediately drawn up in such a way that, except for Interpipe, not a single Ukrainian business group fell under them, plus, due to the tight deadlines, the participation of non-residents was actually excluded. The state-owned stake was divided into two parts and sold at intervals of a couple of months for about 80 million dollars (and initially they wanted it for 20 million). True, it was not possible to carry out the deal quietly: a competitor demonstratively offered to buy the stake for $200 million. And officials from the State Property Fund had to mumble that happiness does not come from money, but only from searching for the best owner and bright prospects for the development of the plant. And that was just the beginning. Later, other sovereigns will have to explain that the bright future of the plant requires an almost complete refusal to use Ukrainian raw materials and switch to imported ones. This is despite the presence of a domestic deposit just 12 kilometers away! Manganese ore was supplied from overseas regions according to a tolling scheme, which greatly facilitated the optimization of taxes and other joys. As a result, the annual difference between world prices for produced ferroalloys and the plant's sales volume was about $400 million. It is clear that all this grace could not last forever. Although, of course, few people imagined that everything would be so bad. That there will be such soulless people who will take it like this, rudely, and say: “Give it back, it was not built for you, but for the country.” And you will have to try to sell it in a wild hurry and with large discounts, only five times more expensive than it was purchased... Moreover, last week the plant was almost returned to the state in court. Can you imagine how to sell it in this case? And only at the last moment, literally at night, the implementation of the court decision was stopped. And also disrupt the sending of a state representative to a meeting of the plant’s shareholders. However, thanks to what happened, the country learned that there is a judge Nikolai Khandurin in the Supreme Economic Court. Well, in privatization matters this is a new name. NFP turned out to be a litmus test. For example, Mr. Pinchuk pleased the public that “he had heard serious rumors that the bribe that was paid to the judges was enormous and infinite. I was told that it exceeds $10 million.” Indeed, a lot. Although it would be interesting if someone could authoritatively state what level of gratitude we have now is normal... But lawyers will make money anyway. As far as we know, Pinchuk’s version of the plant’s fate is as follows. Since the sale of NZF shares is prohibited by the court, the company that won the 2003 competition, the Pridneprovie consortium, will be sold. According to some data, its shareholders have now changed and residents of Ukraine have been replaced by a bunch of Cypriot “elted funds” registered at the same address - Whalom Management, Kiefer Services, Waborn Enterprises, Lesnat Company and Darson Investments. So they will sell the shares in them... It has already been reported that Abramov and Vekselberg will each receive the same block of shares. The obvious disadvantage of the scheme is that it is again focused on imports, this time of South African ore. However, we still have to live to see it. Recently, even more interesting information has circulated on the market - that the operational management of the plant under Russian owners will be carried out by Konstantin Grigorishin. For which he seems to also receive a piece of property (perhaps one of the companies). By the way, it would be interesting for someone from the high-level contracting parties to comment on the rumor about the “support group” commissions, which are calculated at the level of $50 million. Frankly, the amount does not seem prohibitive. The price of the issue is calculated quite easily. If the state sells the plant for 400-450 million dollars, then Pridneprovya will return a maximum of 80 million. The rest can be considered lost profit. So for Pinchuk and his partners, no risk is excessive. By the way, the appearance of Konstantin Grigorishin in the deal is explained not only by his having some experience in the sale of ferroalloys. What’s even more valuable is that Grigorishin has developed quite a constructive relationship with the National Security and Defense Council in general and Petro Poroshenko in particular. Actually, representatives of Privatbank speak about this directly. Another thing is that participation in the process of shortfall in the budget of 2 billion hryvnia (and this is exactly how much they want to get from the sale of NZF, bypassing a second competition) is certain political death for an official of any rank. So any support will undoubtedly have certain limits. Which ones exactly will be revealed in August, when there will be courts, shareholder meetings, and generally a lot of interesting things. And in the fall we will count the results - either economic or political.