How to maintain peace of mind. How to be calm in any situation

Sometimes life presents situations in which every little thing irritates: the husband doesn’t thank you for dinner, the children don’t want to pack up their toys, and the boss reprimands you for not completing a task on time...

Is it possible to get rid of superficial irritability and become self-confident? Psychologists assure that it is not only possible, but also necessary: ​​it makes life much easier and helps maintain peace and balance.

Why does a person lose his calm?

Having exploded once again over some trivial matter, the woman begins to think about how to be calm and not get nervous. They use sedatives, heart-to-heart conversations with a close friend, auto-training, and even loudly counting to ten in a critical situation. But the exhausted body demands its way and again a breakdown follows with ridiculous decisions dictated not by common sense, but by impulse and momentary emotions.

Each time, the loss of calm is repeated simply because there is no exact and only correct recipe for how to remain calm in any situation. Therefore, before looking for ways out of the current situation, it is worth understanding its causes. Why do some women lose their calm over trivial matters, while others can boast of iron restraint?

Among the most common reasons for loss of calm are:

• “Triggers”, that is, things, people or events that irritate us for reasons unknown to us: for example, a neighbor with a dog or rush hour on the subway.
• Prolonged depression, combined with hopelessness and anxiety, can cause irascibility.
• Chronic fatigue and lack of vitamins can also cause a loss of calm.
• The presence of physical discomfort: when a person is hungry or cold, even a minor reason is enough to make him angry.
• Presence of diseases: for example, with diabetes or thyroid disease, increased irritability is often observed.

By identifying the cause of your irritation, you can solve it, rather than deal with the consequences of a temper that just signals, for example, fatigue or malaise.

FACT! During pregnancy, many women experience difficulties with balance and adequacy of reactions to familiar situations. Don't be afraid - it's just the effect of changing hormonal levels.

Calm, just calm!

Psychologists say with confidence: despite the fact that there is no universal method on how to become calm and not be nervous, every person can learn to remain calm in certain life situations.

• Change your perspective on familiar things. Look at the world through a positive lens: love yourself and those around you. Forgive yourself and others for minor mistakes and shortcomings, do not reproach or put pressure on them. Show patience and understanding, learn to stop your irritation. Before you worry, consider the appropriateness of this behavior: what will change and who will benefit from worrying.

• Change your behavior. If a stressful situation is inevitable, then you should change your reaction to it: try to restrain your negative reaction, model the development of the situation, avoid communicating with people who are prone to drama. Look at things through the eyes of a grandmother, wise from the life experience of a kind old woman.

• Relax. In any situation, it is important to try to remain calm. To do this, psychologists advise relaxing, and everyone does it in their own way: some listen to quiet music, some use aromatic oils, some meditate. Many women find children and animals to be a calming factor, so engage in therapeutic playtime with your baby and cat.

These simple and transparent tips for everyone will help you understand how to learn to be calm and make your dreams of balance come true.

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It's never too late to change your behavior and learn to calmly perceive the world and people around you. Only after a woman begins to look at the world calmly and balancedly does she understand how much peace means in life. Your peace of mind is the key to personal and family well-being, a friendly climate at work and strong friendships.

Life is surprisingly diverse and full, unfortunately, of not only positive but also negative events. Everyone wants to remain calm in any situation, but not everyone succeeds.

The task should be clarified from the very beginning. Do you want to remain calm in any situation? Most likely, only in negative(anxious, angry, annoying, frightening, etc.) situations? It is unlikely, for example, that a girl, upon hearing a marriage proposal, will think: “No joy! Calm, just calm!” In pleasant and positive situations, on the contrary, you want to be as restless as possible. People jump up to the ceiling with happiness and shout “Hurray!” out loud.

Perhaps the task is even more narrow. Not “Stay calm in any negative situation”, but “Learn not to cry” / “Learn not to be offended” / “Learn to control anger” and so on, depending on what specific problem concerns you.

The more exactly If you manage to determine the task, the goal, the direction of work on yourself, the better.

You need to understand that to achieve a state where absolutely nothing disturbs or worries is tantamount to depriving yourself everyone emotions, both good and bad.

An emotionless person cannot, while maintaining Olympic calm in a stressful situation, immediately become expressive, emotional and sensitive in a positive one. Becoming completely serene is a super task that only Buddhist monks strive for.

No need strive for absolute calm in any situation. The calmness that one should strive for is, in fact, a skill wisely, with understanding and acceptance look at unpleasant things happening around and negative emotions arising in the soul.

Calmness as a skill and character trait

Calmness differs from unemotionality in that the person who feels it feels an exciting emotion, is aware of it, but knows how to control it; he is not insensitive, but balanced.

The ability to remain calm in an exciting situation is related to the ability to control emotions. In many ways, these two skills overlap. Read the article about how to control your emotions. There you will also find additional practical recommendations on how to stay calm.

Due to their character and temperament, it is easier for some people to remain dead, while for others it is more difficult. The ability to remain calm also depends on the most exciting situation, its scale, duration, repetition and complexity.

Calm requires experience, mental strength and wisdom, which is why the older a person is, the calmer he is. Calmness comes naturally with age, but it can be learned, and at any age.

Learning to be calm means secure yourself in advance from various future stresses and anxieties. Prevention is always better than dealing with a problem that has already arisen. But difficulties are different, so there is a 100% guarantee that having learned to calm down, you will be able to cope with any anxiety, No.

What is certain is that what more often and better will be able to remain calm in a stressful situation, the more less Such situations will worry!

Mastering any skill is education, involving repetition of actions, training and consolidation of acquired knowledge in practice. Once you develop a skill, it becomes a habit, and the habit will affect your character. In this way you can come to peace as character trait.

What kind of knowledge is this, the practical application of which will help you remain calm in any problematic situation?

Three rules of calm

In order not to be nervous and remain calm in an exciting situation, psychologists recommend remembering rules:

1. The rule for the “Stop!” signal. It is recommended to come up with a certain signal for yourself that will become a lever for switching to the “calm” mode. It would be nice to remember in what situations it was possible to quickly regain calm. What kind of situation is this and what (what object, action) is it associated with?

For many people, the signal to bring themselves into a balanced state is phone ring.

Example. The wife screams at her husband and breaks the dishes, but suddenly her phone rings and not someone wants to talk to her, but the boss. Will the woman be able to calm down? In a split second! Not only will she calm down, but she will completely change, become friendly and sweet!

In moments when anxiety overcomes, a sobering bell should “ring” in your head and return you to sanity. Such a signal can be any image: a light switch, a light bulb, a knock on the door, an alarm clock, a fan turning on, falling snow - anything that is associated with the need to calm down or calmness.

1. Rule "Don't rush"!” He who understands life is in no hurry. Haste reduces the quality of the actions performed, but their quantity does not increase (it just seems!), but the most important thing is that hasty body movements overstimulate the brain, which is expressed as excitement, fuss, panic, anxiety, aggressiveness.

To avoid feeling rushed and anxious in a stressful situation, you need to move, take actions and talk in medium or slow pace. No running or screaming!

It is better to change the habit of speaking loudly and very quickly to calm and measured speech half a tone quieter. You need to speak in such a way that your own ears enjoy it.

To avoid rushing anywhere, you need everything in advance to plan and count. In an extraordinary situation, you need to act quickly, but not hastily, to believe that everything will be done in time, and not worry: “I won’t make it in time!” Panic never leads to a positive result.

In the end, if you happen to be late somewhere or don’t have time to do something, then it was necessary and it’s for the best; This means that in the subconscious there was an attitude “Something unpleasant is waiting there” and in fact I didn’t really want to show up on time or make it in time!

Everything will be done in time! Everything always happens on time!

1. The Rule of Analyze, Don't Dramatize!” Many people, overwhelmed by negative emotions, begin to aggravate the situation: “It’s always like this!”, “You’re all like that!”, “Nobody loves me!” - this is all excessive exaggeration.

You won't be able to stay calm if you don't start analysis situation, but start complaining, being indignant, objecting, crying, and so on.

Logical analysis switches the brain into “thinking” mode, from emotions to reason. Instead of immediately calling your girlfriend and complaining about your fate, it is better to think about the situation alone.

Talking through a problem is good only once, everything else is turning a fly into an elephant.

What happened happened, it doesn't matter anymore. It's important what to do now how to solve the issue. Excitement and violent emotions will definitely not solve the problem; you need to think about how to eliminate the consequences and prevent a recurrence of a similar situation.

If you have to worry not because of a specific situation, but because of the situation in general(in the family, at work, in the country) helps to calm down question“Does this excitement make my life better and more joyful? Will something change for the better because I worry?”

It is impossible and unnecessary to control everything and influence everything! Worry in a situation where nothing can be changed must be replaced by an effort of will with faith in the best and a revision of views on the problem.

Calm Techniques

Without thorough work on yourself, it is difficult to learn to remain calm in difficult situations, but there are auxiliary techniques and tools that can significantly facilitate the process of self-control and managing emotions.

Helps you calm down:

1. Correct breathing. This is smooth, deep, diaphragmatic breathing, when when you inhale through the nose, the stomach rises, and when you exhale, it retracts.

2.Aromatherapy. Scented candles, aroma lamps, oils - there are many ways to soothe your inflamed mind with scent. A simple example: most people associate the smell of tangerines with the holidays; it will certainly help you relax.

1. Reading. While reading, the brain works in a special, calming frequency mode, a person is distracted from the world around him and immersed in a world of fantasy.
2. Music. Everyone has their own special compositions that can calm and lift your spirits. There are also melodies specially created for relaxation, relaxation, sleep, and quiet work (they can be easily found on the Internet).
3. Physical exercise. A great way for those who like to dwell on thoughts about a problem. When muscles work, a lot of energy is released, including negative energy. All the anxiety that accumulates in the body is released as a result of alternating tension and relaxation of the muscles. You don’t have to play sports; simple cleaning of the house is enough to get a good physical workout.
4. Water. A shower or bath in the morning and evening, and drinking clean water throughout the day will help. Water improves metabolism, makes the brain work more actively, and harmonizes the nervous system.
5. Hobby activity. This is a way to compensate for negative experiences with positive ones and distract yourself.
6. Comfort. Anything can irritate you: tight shoes, hot clothes, an uncomfortable chair, someone screaming, music, unpleasant odors, and so on. People sometimes don't even notice these irritants or ignore them, and in the meantime, they continue to undermine the nervous system. By improving conditions as much as possible, you can calm your nerves. Whenever possible, you should remove irritants and add calming elements to your atmosphere and environment.
7. Walks in the open air. Oxygen improves brain function, and moving forward is associated with progress towards success. The ability to go out into the fresh air and walk in the heat of anger has saved more than one friendship, love and work relationship.
8. Dream. Fatigue is a common cause of anxiety and nervousness, and sleep is the best medicine in this case.

And finally, if it is possible not to get into an exciting situation, it is better to avoid it, at least in those periods when there is a lack of strength for self-control.

Where do you most often lose your calm?

The ability to overcome fear and confusion, calmly assess the situation and make the right decision, as well as avoid quarrels and scandals can provide a very good service.

Try not to dramatize the situation where it is not necessary. Some people, especially emotional and impressionable people, are prone to excessive dramatization. In the most severe cases, they are capable of elevating any trifle to the rank of almost a universal tragedy. This harms both them and those around them, because communicating with such a vulnerable and emotional person is not an easy test.

Master the technique of self-hypnosis, convince yourself that the problem is not as serious (let alone dangerous) as you think. It's not worth making you nervous and making those around you nervous. Try to avoid an immediate reaction to unpleasant news or someone's offensive words. First, take a few deep breaths and mentally count to ten (even better, to twenty). This extremely simple method will help you stay calm and avoid an outburst of anger or resentment.

Don’t rush to immediately share your problems with others, share your concerns on blogs and social networking pages. Friends and well-wishers will most likely only aggravate your condition with their (often excessive) sympathies, and random interlocutors, and simply not very smart people, can make you laugh. This obviously won’t bring you peace of mind.

How to learn to control emotions

Avoid things that make you nervous and worried. Take care of yourself. In what situation, under what circumstances, do you most quickly lose your composure and are capable of entering into conflict? It can be anything: time of day, degree of workload with work and home affairs, feeling of hunger, headache, annoying noise, uncomfortable tight shoes, communication with unpleasant people, etc. Eliminate these factors, or at least try to minimize them. And on the contrary, use in every possible way what calms you down and puts you in a peaceful state, be it quiet minor music, reading your favorite books or an aromatic bath.

Spend time in the fresh air more often, try to maintain a measured and orderly daily routine. Even with a heavy workload, it is very important to pay attention to proper rest and sleep. Since the cause of increased nervousness and conflict is often elementary physical and nervous fatigue.

Learning to remain calm in any situation is important for every person. Indeed, negative emotions such as anger, fear and panic can exhaust anyone, and in return they do not provide anything useful. On the contrary, those who cannot control their emotions often develop some unpleasant chronic disease. People who know how to save composure, achieve success, do not spoil relationships with loved ones, and get everything done on time.

Instructions

Don't make mountains out of molehills. In any situation, try to soberly assess what is happening. Watch what you think. How often do expressions such as “always” or “when it’s finally” flash through your head? If instead you think “it’s not that scary” and “I’m stronger than these circumstances”, then everything will begin to seem easier and you will get rid of anxiety.

If you have a problem, first try to think about it yourself, and then share it with others. How often, when you tell your friends information that horrifies you, do you see the same reaction on their faces? They begin to empathize with what they hear from you, which may be an exaggerated or misunderstood situation. Meanwhile, you are completely affirmed in what you just told them, even if you yourself know that you exaggerated a little.

When you are in a difficult situation, to calm down, try to imagine the problem as an incomprehensible tangled knot. If you are nervous, the knot tightens. When you are calm, he relaxes, you have a chance to unravel everything easily.

Control your gestures. Don't scream or run from corner to corner. Speak slowly and move smoothly. Try to look calm, and before you know it, you will actually calm down.

Many people who are busy solving problems are disturbed by external stimuli. They would calmly cope with the task if they managed to get rid of them. Some people are unable to think in silence, while others are disturbed by noise. It is almost always possible to temporarily leave circumstances that irritate you in themselves, so that you can make the right decision away from them. For example, if your thoughts are disturbed by conversations and household noise in your home, then you can take a walk in the park and calmly assess your problem there.

People who are happy with everything in their lives can safely be called happy. After all, they don’t know what stress is. They simply do not experience overstrain and negative emotions to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in a state of stress becomes angry, irritable and, as they say, gets turned on half a turn. Sooner or later he gets tired of it. And he wonders - how to be calm in any situation and is this real? Well, everything is possible in our life. And this is no exception.

Voltage reduction

Every person interested in how to be calm in any situation needs to remember that nothing will work without minimizing emotional stress. First you need to start eating well and on time. And starting the morning with something tasty and loved will help lift your spirits. As well as a 10-minute exercise, which will also tone the body.

If a person is faced with a stressful factor at work, then he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about a house, a loved one, a cake, cats, anything. It’s also worth getting used to daily water procedures. To the bathhouse, shower, pool. Water calms the nerves.

And in general, if a person is thinking about how to be calm in any situation, it means it’s time to change something in his life. Maybe it has become terribly monotonous? Then it won’t hurt to introduce a new hobby or passion into it. The main thing is that it brings pleasure. A joyful, satisfied person simply does not want to be irritated.

Self-control

Typically, the question of how to be calm in any situation is asked by people who are constantly in a stressful environment. For example, at work every day your boss puts pressure on you or your colleagues irritate you with every word they say. There is only one way out - self-control.

An effective method is breathing practice. Namely the square technique. As soon as a person feels an attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing with his left nostril, then with his right, and then with his stomach and chest. This not only calms your heart rate, but also distracts you.

Or you can simply hold your breath and release it after half a minute. This helps to minimize brain activity.

Methods of psychology

What happens in any situation if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If this is a close friend or relative, then half the battle is done - there is already a clear example. We need to think - what would he do? This usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the condition.

By the way, many people advise making a list of so-called personal irritants. You need to know the enemy by sight. And after compiling a list, you can come up with ways to actually cope with the irritant. The next time a person encounters a source of stress, he will confidently be able to counter it with a predetermined method. This will be a small victory, which is guaranteed to improve your mood.

Motivation

There are different cases that make you think about how to remain calm in any situation. Most often people get angry because of failures. Something doesn't work out, and it drives me crazy. I want to give up everything, wash my hands and close myself off from everyone in my shelter. But this is not a solution. Well, motivation will help.

In a situation that is already “on the brink”, it is extremely important to support yourself. Words are powerful things. It’s worth convincing yourself that life gets worse before it gets better. And that even after the darkest night there is always a dawn.

In general, it wouldn’t hurt to read a collection of motivational quotes. The most important things will naturally stick in your memory. For example, Stuart McRobert, a famous publicist and author of works on strength training, said: “You will have failures, injuries and mistakes. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and everyday life will interfere with you more than once. But your inner complex should constantly show only one direction - towards the goal." Stewart addressed athletes and bodybuilders who wanted to achieve victory and titles. But the whole point of this phrase is that it can be applied to any person and situation.

Physical energy release

Surely every person interested in how to behave calmly in any situation has noticed changes in their body at the moment of irritation. Your head begins to make noise, the pressure rises so rapidly that you even feel a pulsation in your temples, you have a desire to scream or even attack someone with your fists with the intention of tearing them to shreds.

You cannot keep such a reserve of energy within yourself. Physical relaxation will help. You can sign up for a boxing class, where in the evening you can happily take out all your anger and aggression on a punching bag, imagining the offender instead. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss starts making baseless remarks again, the person will automatically remember how yesterday he took it out on the punching bag, imagining the boss in her place. And he will be happy to note to himself that today he will be able to do it again. Besides, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, more physically developed, more beautiful. Sport is useful, after all, it is muscle relaxation, which relieves tension accumulating in the body. The well-known phrase is ideal for this case: “Excess energy should be directed in the right direction.”

Everything ends sooner or later

Many people live by this principle. And it's effective. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough just to remember that this (this can be specified depending on the case) is not forever. A project with too much hassle will sooner or later be completed and closed. Someday I will be able to find a new job. It will also be possible to raise money for separate housing. The boss will sooner or later get tired of nitpicking over trifles. In general, we need to be simpler.

By the way, this can be recommended to people who are worried about any important event. For example, before a public speaking. True, there are also other ways. It is quite possible to be calm in any situation, even a very responsible one. You just need to set a short-term goal. Go out, give a speech, appear in the best light, do everything that was rehearsed. That's it, the job is done - and was it worth the worry?

People are just afraid too much. Fear clouds their minds and makes it difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and set yourself in the right peaceful mood, then everything will work out.

A change of scenery

There is one more piece of advice that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. There are different practices. And one of the most effective is to change the environment. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people make a grave mistake - they return home from work, dragging with them a load of stress, worries, conflicts and problems. While in their “fortress”, they continue to think about their worries. And they don’t rest at all. You need to get used to clearly separating work and everything else - rest, home, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise the vicious circle will never be broken.

It’s worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice that the thought “Well, again, how tired of all this, not a moment of peace” appears in his head less and less often.

Domestic situations

Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous when it comes to work, life in society and society in general. But what about ordinary, “home” cases? If a person gets irritated in front of his family and friends and lashes out at them, then this is bad. The source again lies in his external failures associated with work, dissatisfaction with his personal life, and lack of money. But those close to you are not to blame. In order not to be annoyed with them, you need to understand this. And don't be dramatic. If a loved one found out how things were going at work, he did not want to once again remind him of his bad boss, annoying colleagues and unloved position. He just showed attention.

And this also happens - a person is simply annoyed by his interlocutor, who, as they say, goes too far. He is interested in things that do not concern him, asks about too personal things, imposes his opinion, tries to convince him of something, proves his opponent wrong. In this case, the person was unlucky. But the issue can be solved simply. You just need to politely put your interlocutor down or move the conversation in a different direction.

The secret is happiness

Quite a lot has been said above about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology is an interesting science. And experts in this field can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is that the secret of peace lies in happiness. A person who likes everything in his life is always satisfied and happy. He doesn’t get irritated by little things, because he doesn’t care about anything - after all, everything is fine with him. Therefore, if too much has fallen on your shoulders, and it doesn’t give you peace, reminding you of yourself every second, it’s time to change your life. And you don’t need to be afraid to do this. After all, as the famous American writer Richard Bach said, there are no limits for us.

When I was a little younger, I had big goals and aspirations and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be equanimous and move peacefully from one task to another with concentration and calm, controlled energy.

Does everything seem simple? Probably no. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it because it feels fantastic! Anger and impatience wear on our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.

1. Try not to be dramatic

2. Think before sharing a problem.

3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm.

Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.

It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination.

Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.

4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy

5. Realize that you can control your emotions.

6. Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals

If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles.

When you come home from work, take a few minutes to allow your mind to calm before diving into family matters. Sit in your car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.

7. Take care of your immediate needs

Make sure that you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better.

Also try do physical education. Daily workouts help relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps.

Avoid excessive sugar consumption And caffeine, And don't dehydrate your body. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert.

8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit

9. Take a break

10. Take a day off

11. Don't forget to breathe

When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.

During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.

12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.

“You are heaven. Everything else is just weather." Pema Chodron

“A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is more powerful than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer.

“It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement.

“The single most important reason to remain calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher.

“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.