Increased sense of self-worth. Self-esteem - what is it?

First you need to understand what self-esteem is in order to know why it is important to have, maintain, and develop it.

First you need to understand what self-esteem is in order to know why it is important to have, maintain, and develop it.

So, we are surrounded by a huge number of objects, each of which we can characterize from the standpoint of cost, price, value. If we talk about people in this aspect, then we have a certain abstract value - a spiritual component that has absolute value. Exactly self-esteem- the measure that limits the maximum possible spiritual flourishing of a person, his inner freedom, and possibilities.

If it is so important, then it needs to be nurtured and formed. How to do this?

Build self-esteem not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. It is only worth remembering that even in childhood we develop this feeling of self-confidence. And it is how we react to our mistakes and our shortcomings that determines our path in this world. If we, as kids, get our first, negative experience in one of the areas of life, this can lead to the appearance of a psychological complex, and as a result, problems in the future.

It is for this reason that it is important from the first days, from the first steps, to realize that we cannot be successful in all existing areas of activity, that our talent can only reveal itself in one or several areas. It is with this approach that the education of one’s self, one’s significance begins, and this is how a sense of self-worth is born.

If your child is interested in technology and engineering, you can send him to a math club or give him educational games. Sports? It is advisable to write it in a section. If he is interested in art, give him a musical instrument. Thus, any skill that is clearly visible in a person must be developed and cultivated. Every achievement is worthy of encouragement.

You can rest assured that success in one area will lead to confidence in other areas and activities. At the same time, when raising your own child, you should not forget about him - permissiveness and lack of parental support make a person insecure, give rise to a feeling of uncertainty and insecurity.

Thus, discipline, perseverance, endurance, resistance to whims and weaknesses - all this, together with love and respect, forms a sense of self-worth in a person. A person must understand the true essence of such values ​​as kindness, honesty, love, respect, and never forget about them.

How to maintain self-esteem throughout your life?
Let’s not sugarcoat it, sometimes it’s very difficult. It is well known that self-esteem is nothing more than a person’s internal judge. Of course, this value is not always constant - it either lifts you to heaven when everything works out for you, or lowers you to the deepest depths of guilt and self-flagellation when you make mistakes and suffer defeat.

Low self-esteem often accompanies people who do things in their lives that they hate and/or live with people they don’t like. Moreover, internally, people understand that they are tired of this, that this is not right, but at the same time, they cannot change anything, and they hate themselves for this powerlessness. However, one should not confuse self-esteem and self-esteem (or rather, the lack thereof) with a pessimistic mood.

To increase self-esteem and self-esteem, for example... a limo rental is a good option. Today you can easily find limousines in Kyiv or in other cities, unless of course you live in Novopyatovka. It is not necessary to take a wedding limousine, but some decent Hummer H2, Infiniti QX56, Infiniti FX35 or Chrysler will seriously raise your self-esteem, you can be sure of that.

There are several ways proposed by psychologists to increase self-esteem and develop self-esteem. However, at the basis of each of the paths lies the awareness of the fact that it is impossible to continue living this way, it is necessary to change. The first step after this is the desire and understanding that in fact your life, and everything that happens to you, depends on you, that you can correct the situation by reprogramming yourself for success, luck, and increasing your level of self-esteem.

How can you turn negative information, negative feelings, negative facts into positive ones?
Any negative message that you encounter must be decomposed into root causes, consequences, components, reformulated, and transformed into positive information. If your expectations in any business were not met, think about whether you really needed to succeed in this? If you have lost your job, think about whether this is a sign that it is time to change your work environment for the better? At the same time, any negative, any difficulty makes you wiser, stronger, more experienced.

What else can help you maintain, or even increase, your self-esteem? This is positive psychotherapy, and exclusively independent. What's the secret? If you consider yourself boring and unattractive, you must draw conclusions from why you think so and change yourself to your ideal - the kind of self you love. At the same time, you should not forget to repeat phrases such as “I am attractive,” “I am changing,” “I am constantly changing for the better.” This applies not only to personal life, but also to work. Self-improvement, for example in programming or driving a car, and repeating “I am the best programmer/driver” will also bring positive results.

By becoming more confident and increasing your self-esteem, you will achieve your first victory. After the first, the second will follow, which will also increase your self-esteem and faith in a positive future, and gradually, without noticing it, you will transform your life into a successful one, which you could previously only see in your wildest dreams.

Creative visualization can also bring a lot of benefits to your life. So, from time to time you should imagine that you already own what you want to own, live the life you want to live, spend time with those with whom you want to spend it. Thus, you will gradually accustom yourself to positive changes, develop self-confidence, healthy optimism, and a thirst for new victories.

If you want to maintain your self-esteem, take this article seriously, draw the right conclusions from it, and take a path that is not as simple as “continuing to go with the flow,” but the right, true path. And then no reproaches, humiliations, and blows of fate will be able to bring you to your knees, you will learn to keep your mark, and those around you will learn to appreciate and respect you.

Remember, everything works out only for those who take the first step!

Perhaps no topic causes as many conflicting opinions and debates as human dignity. In essence, this concept denotes the subjective attitude of a person to himself. For many people, in order to develop great self-esteem, they first need to achieve extraordinary heights in life. People who have high demands on their personality often suffer from imaginary shortcomings and strive to improve themselves in many ways.

The formation of human dignity begins in childhood and continues in adolescence and adulthood. Human dignity is made up of many factors that can have a powerful impact on an individual's self-esteem. In some cases, the circumstance is due to how much attention was paid to her in childhood. If parents spend a lot of time with the child, are interested in his mood, successes, then gradually he develops an awareness of his importance. A mature sense of dignity is usually expressed in the desire to follow a given direction in life, to realize individual plans and dreams. Dignity has nothing to do with permissiveness.

Human honor and dignity

Honor and dignity are the inherent values ​​of every self-respecting individual. Several decades ago, the word “honor” was associated with the concepts of honesty and the ability to be sincere to the end. Today it has practically not changed and denotes a person’s desire to achieve his goals in a pure way through fruitful work on himself. An honest person acts towards himself and others with dignity, he will certainly apologize if he causes significant or minor inconvenience to others.

Dignity correlates with the concepts of self-worth and. In many situations, life itself often requires from the individual a great ability to maintain internal freedom and be independent. Honor and dignity are important components of an adequate perception of reality. When a person can look confidently into the future and accepts his achievements that exist at a given moment in time, he becomes truly independent and happy. If the concepts of honor and dignity did not exist, accepting oneself as an individual and self-realization would become impossible. Dignity is the path to a fulfilling life. Without dignity, no development is possible.

Human dignity and freedom

How is dignity related to freedom? Is it possible to maintain dignity while being a dependent, driven person? Life practice shows that no. If a person is so unsure of himself that he allows others to control his own life, he can hardly be called fulfilled and happy ( read about). But what does freedom mean and why is a person sometimes ready to fight tooth and nail for it?

Freedom has always been recognized as the main value of the individual. Without it it is impossible to develop dignity sufficiently. Without freedom, all the achievements that a person has would ultimately be in vain. Everything we achieve, we do in order to develop our own individuality, to express ourselves to the fullest. And having dignity will help a lot here. Some people are initially driven by the desire to gain the respect of others, others begin to be proud of themselves ( read about). Be that as it may, the feeling of having freedom helps to develop dignity and build self-confidence. In fact, it is impossible to be productive without realizing your own individuality. You cannot become happy for someone else or by realizing other people's dreams rather than your own goals.

What situations require the presence of dignity?

Sometimes in life you have to act quickly without thinking about the end result. No one can exclude the occurrence of unpleasant moments. In some cases, the presence of dignity can help you feel better and cope with serious difficulties.

• Undeserved insult. When a person experiences an internal feeling of resentment, his entire being shrinks from the infringement of his own dignity. There is a feeling that you were wronged undeservedly, in vain. This condition is accompanied by strong indignation and often a desire to take revenge on the offender. A state of internal devastation, fear, apathy, anxiety, and sleep disturbances are possible. Honor and dignity also suffer and undergo significant changes. The dignity of the individual mainly begins to fluctuate. While feeling resentful, it is impossible to feel whole. There is a feeling that the soul has been trampled, often a person withdraws into himself and refuses communication for some time.
• Advocacy of interests. In the case where you need to stand up for yourself, to defend your interests, dignity develops to a greater extent than in other cases. Going through difficulties strengthens character and contributes to the formation of inner strength and will. Here the theme of honor and dignity comes to the fore. The spoken words mean a lot, so special attention is paid to them. When conducting a conversation with an opponent, it is extremely important not to respond with insult to insult and to be sincere to the end.
• Conflicts within the team. Where, if not in the team, is the individual located most of the time? Often in this group of people there is a clash of interests, views, and opinions. It will take a lot of willpower and self-confidence to overcome significant problems every day and to seek compromises. The development of dignity will certainly occur when a person learns to separate his own interests from public ones. It is necessary to develop your own strategy for behavior in conflict situations. This can take a lot of time. But having self-esteem is worth it!

How to develop self-esteem?

From how much we value ourselves ( read about) often depends on the attitude of others towards us. Why is this happening? The fact is that when communicating with different categories of people, we form our opinions about them based on our own impressions, and they do the same in relation to us. If a person projects internal constraint and uncertainty into the external space, then those around him will subconsciously perceive this. It is known that those who do not love and value themselves should not expect respect and recognition from others. Dignity must be preserved in any situation precisely because it allows you to feel significant and important. Without this feeling, a person will never dare to set high goals and strive to achieve them. Honor and dignity are the main components of any advancement, personal growth and success in general. The tips below will help you build your sense of dignity. It is necessary to understand that the degree of its development depends directly on a person’s sense of self, on how ready he is for significant changes in his life. Self-esteem, as a rule, is formed through systematic constructive work on oneself and recognition of one’s uniqueness.

Find your own personality

If a person does not treat himself with due attention and respect, perhaps he is not fully aware of his strengths. Only after thoroughly studying your own personality can you begin to understand the motives of your actions, fight fears, and prevent disappointments.

Are you confident that you are doing what you want in life? Do your position and career growth correspond to your ambitions, desires, and aspirations? If not, then there is a serious need to think about it. Dignity is a necessary and necessary component that helps to cope with many difficulties, to realize one’s uniqueness and originality. Nothing can create such powerful internal protection for a person as honor and dignity. How a person treats himself directly determines the attitude of the people around him. Forming your own individual view of things helps you feel significant and take an important place in society.

Professional self-improvement

At a certain point in life, each of us chooses our own professional path. This choice is dictated by both the internal needs of the individual and social expectations. The theme of honor and dignity is directly related to him. If a person, due to some circumstances, cannot succeed in one area or another, he will always feel his own worthlessness and emptiness. Nothing can compensate for the gap in education. It is extremely important for a person to feel significant, to show his individual abilities and express himself in one activity or another. Personal dignity can be cultivated through constant painstaking work on oneself.

Constant self-education

Even a professional in his field from time to time feels the need to update his existing knowledge and gain new ones. Self-education is an integral part of the life of any person for whom career and growth in the profession is of significant interest. The honor and dignity of an individual are largely determined by how successful she was in her activities. By improving his skills, a person moves forward, strives to improve his condition, and always works on his character ( read about).

A person’s dignity in this area of ​​life can either be seriously damaged or rise to unprecedented heights. If a person does not think about the topic of his dignity, then, most likely, over time, serious problems will begin in the profession.

Avoiding unpleasant company

It has long been noted that being among people who can offend or humiliate negatively affects the formation of personality. If a person is surrounded by people who, by word or deed, will interfere with his self-realization, then he will soon feel unnecessary, empty and depressed. Some individuals may inadvertently insult a person’s dignity, causing the latter to feel strongly offended. Usually those people who offend others are those who themselves do not have self-esteem. It gives them short-term joy to humiliate others, to deprive them of their inner strength and sense of balance. Everyone should take care of themselves and avoid society that can hurt their dignity. Remember, we are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

Thus, human dignity is an extremely important and significant topic that causes numerous debates and rumors in society. If the concept of dignity did not exist, there would be no personality itself. Any personal growth and self-development is impossible without awareness of one’s own value and significance. Dignity belongs to the category that is responsible for success and happiness.

Self-esteem is a person’s internal sense of self, which has a visible manifestation in the behavioral sphere, reflected by a high assessment of one’s own social value and rights. It has a close semantic connection with self-respect, self-esteem and the concept of one’s own self, which are at a high level, but at the same time are not identical, since in these close concepts greater emphasis is placed on a person’s perception of himself, while dignity always appeals to external society.

Self-esteem in relationships (whether intimate, child-parent or work) always predetermines a decent level of human behavior and high demands on oneself and the participants in the relationship. Such requirements include calmness of dialogue and decency of actions, guidance of moral principles and showing respect even in the form of one’s appearance (by maintaining neatness). Under the apparent pressure of demands and obligations, a person full of dignity can behave much more freely than the average representative, pursuing his own desires in a virtuous way and demonstrating excellent manners and upbringing. Such people can open any door because they know and appreciate their strengths, know how to handle their weaknesses, and are able to present themselves to the world around them in a way that these qualities are valued without humiliating other people and trying to stand out by denigrating them.

Knowing the norms of behavior with you is a condition for beginning to develop a sense of self-worth, accepting or rejecting interactions from people, depending on their compliance with your internal criteria of what is possible. This category is not innate, but is formed or frozen under the influence of the external environment, from the assessment of others (family, educators, culture), which can occur in teaching (norms, rules and human rights), conscious or unconscious suggestion (when a child is praised or scolded , give an assessment of his personality), when copying behavioral ones (parental behavior, as an example, or examples from literature and cinema).

What is self-esteem

A sense of dignity is a manifestation of self-acceptance for the most part and recognition of oneself as a significant person, and such self-attitude is based on a confident position and calmness, knowledge and a real assessment of one’s own capabilities, as well as an understanding of the value of any human person. Some may confuse such a feeling with pride or, where the prerequisites for feeling valuable and significant are the desire for exaltation, constant comparison, which causes emotional swings and loss of confidence.

Self-esteem in relationships allows you to value yourself and value the other, to choose something based on your own world view, and not under the pressure of manipulation or competitive strategies. There is no desire to do something for the sake of pleasing others or confirming one’s own importance; a person understands his importance a priori and such an understanding is in no way based on external sources. This is similar to a mature relationship, where caring for others will be carried out from one's own internal motives of compassion or love, but not with the goal of earning good treatment, where difference is allowed and it is supported in both directions (i.e. the person will not compromise life conditions or his rights for the sake of maintaining good relations, but will not infringe on the rights of another).

An important internal point is the desire to remain oneself and maintain a calm and firm position, without stooping to empty accusations, showdowns using shouting and threats, turning to intrigue and gossip as ways to influence the environment. Due to the lack of a competitive moment, calmness, confidence and self-knowledge, it is impossible to offend such a person, because he clearly understands who he is and who he is not (you will not be offended or argue with someone who calls you an antelope and take it seriously) . Honesty with oneself, open recognition of weaknesses accompanies decent behavior, then a person can insure himself in advance in unstable moments, but when behavior looks like everything can be solved on one’s own and cope with any problem, then this is something that is sometimes good, but reflects a not entirely adequate perception myself.

This attitude towards oneself is reflected by an effective manifestation of love for oneself and one’s desires, since it is largely aimed at ensuring a high-quality standard of living. The need to take care of one’s appearance (not only at important events, but even on weekends spent at home), to take care of one’s health (not only by purchasing medications, but also by ensuring quality rest, a rich diet, etc.), will buy only high-quality goods (without the desire save because he knows he deserves better). The same goes for choosing work and friends, life partners and ways of building relationships. A person who feels worthy will not be in an unworthy place, engage in low things and communicate with lost people.

How to develop self-esteem

The development of self-esteem occurs in childhood, under the influence of the environment, and by the beginning of adult life it is a formed category, but not stable, so this sense of self can be either lost (if you find yourself in frustrating conditions for a long time) or developed.

In adulthood, the formation of a sense of self-worth occurs on the basis of self-attitude, and accordingly, work must begin from this position. Initially, you will have to objectively evaluate yourself and get to know each other (perhaps this will require responses from people around you who consider some of your shortcomings to be advantages and vice versa). This stage is needed to clearly define who you are, in order to distance yourself from imposing the opinions of others and switch this assessment to internal control, instead of spontaneous external control. The courage to recognize and accept yourself, along with your shortcomings, provides powerful inner strength and a vector for change. It is important that the intentions of change (if any are suddenly initiated after a revision of one’s qualities) are carried out in accordance with internal guidelines, and not the convenience of other people. Counting your victories and good qualities, changes on the way to the better should be carried out visually (you can write it down, you can collect ten achievements and arrange a holiday or pampering for yourself for this) - such events increase.

You will have to fight the desire to compare yourself with others; it is acceptable to compare yourself with yourself (at the beginning of your journey or with where you are heading). To make it easier, for the first time you can turn off the news feed on a social network with profiles full of photos of success, or you can consider each catchy comparison as an experience of self-knowledge. You can analyze your mental victories over someone to see what this victory gives to your inner feeling, and how it can be applied. You can also work with comparisons in a negative direction, extracting from envy your desires and needs, and perhaps images of conformity imposed by someone.

Listen to your desires and try to fulfill them; constantly putting off your joys for the sake of others greatly hinders the emergence of self-esteem, since every time, even for important reasons, someone else turns out to be more worthy of happiness than you. If you want to drink sea buckthorn tea in silence now - buy sea buckthorn, brew tea, close the door to the room with a sign prohibiting entry. And the world will not collapse, even if you have a small child, a deadline for submitting a project, or a friend in hysterics in the kitchen.

From childhood, many were taught modesty, devaluing compliments and hiding what they have (whether material, even travel, or even achievements). Such behavioral strategies make you value yourself less and shrink in size, trying to be worse, telling about your successes only to those closest to you. But self-esteem implies accepting praise sincerely and joyfully, talking about your achievements, without devaluation. Your attitude towards you and your value to society depend on your self-presentation. If you want a good relationship, if you feel you deserve it, speak well of yourself. Or you can start from the opposite and by telling stories about your positive qualities to form a worthy attitude, which will automatically improve your inner sense of self-worth.

In the meantime, this feeling still cannot resist violators from the outside, then limit the circle of people and spheres of communication where violations of human rights, freedoms and dignity are possible, where caustic and devaluing remarks are encountered, where they violate your boundaries, loading beyond measure, in order to free your own time. It is not enough to cultivate such an attitude in yourself; you need to get rid of the factors that contribute to the destruction of such an adequate self-perception.

SENSE OF OWN DIGNITY

A person's merits can be judged not by his good qualities, but by how he uses them.

F. La Rochefoucauld

Psychotherapist Linda Sanford, who coined the term “self-esteem,” has done a lot of work to help her patients improve their self-esteem.

Here's what she writes: “As a child, I had a low opinion of myself, and perhaps the most important thing we learned while working on our book was the understanding that self-esteem is not something innate, given from God, it needs to be developed in oneself.”

Feel how wonderful these words are! Do you understand what this means?

Even if at the moment you only give yourself a “C”, this does not mean that it will remain that way forever!

You will be able to develop your self-esteem, you will be able to increase your self-esteem. The time will come, and soon enough, when you will be able to give yourself an “A”! And I really hope that this book will help you with this. The most important thing is not to be lazy.

In order to solve a problem, you need to set a goal for yourself - that is, scientifically speaking, to create a dominant. In your case, the dominant is the formation of adequate self-esteem.

Self-esteem should not be overestimated (then they will laugh at you) or underestimated (then everyone who cares will wipe their feet on you, and you will not respect yourself).

Know that in interpersonal relationships with guys (and then men) you need to be equal partners!

The problem with many girls is that they do not know how to demonstrate their obvious advantages.

And, of course, each has its merits! There are no people made up of only shortcomings, just as there are no people made up of only advantages. Every person has both good and bad.

You should not show bad qualities to anyone and try to overcome them, but you should be able to emphasize good ones.

Who came up with this stupid thesis: modesty adorns a girl? Maybe it decorates if there are no other advantages. In the last century, modesty may have been valued. Times are different now. Nowadays individuality is valued.

Modesty adorns... another girl.

The most important qualities in a representative of the fair sex, which are the key to her happy destiny, are self-esteem, self-respect, self-confidence and adequate self-esteem.

For normal self-esteem, you need to treat yourself soberly and objectively. There are girls and women next to you who are superior to you in some way - more beautiful, more charming, more intelligent, more successful, more intelligent, more educated. So what? It is impossible to be the best, just as it is impossible to absorb all the positive qualities. There are no ideal people and there is no need to strive for the ideal. You are who you are, and love yourself as you are!

A person who does not love himself cannot inspire self-love.

There are probably girls around you who are inferior to you in some way. Compare yourself with them, analyze how they behave - do they also have complexes or accept themselves as they are?

You are no worse than others, you are different from other people, you are an individual.

Not having a single advantage is just as impossible as not having a single disadvantage.

L. Vauvenargues

Objective Mentally Represented Sense of Self At about fifteen to eighteen months, the child makes significant developmental progress - he begins to walk, can understand and refer to himself as an objective being, separate from others. That