Parents are concerned not so much about the child’s “rating” in comparison with other children (although this, of course, too), but about his internal feelings, his presence or absence of desire and will to overcome obstacles and resistance to failure. With the first five, perhaps everything is clear. This, of course, is joy, the consequence of which is the growth of the little person’s self-esteem, his more confident behavior in the children’s group, and this is a holiday for parents. But how will a beginning student react to first two? Actually, this is something to think about.
Anything can happen
Unfortunately, first two no one can escape it - it can happen in the first grade, or maybe in the sixth, but it will happen someday anyway, because even a genius is not immune from “failures”. A variety of situations are possible: the teacher did not explain the new material very clearly or was in a bad mood, angry with the whole class, the child himself showed normal, but not very useful human qualities in school, such as absent-mindedness, inattention to what is said in class . He may be upset, he may have a headache. While going through his personal troubles, he is able to miss an explanation or forget to write down his homework. He's a living person!
After all, knowledge and academic performance are far from the same thing. Achievement and keep up are the same root words. The one who manages to solve problems in class, can quickly read, write, and also, without delving into the essence of the matter, completes homework at a pace, gets an A. Sometimes it’s a shame: a child has deep knowledge about the structure of the world around him, thinks a lot, reads encyclopedias, but he is given a bad grade for not having learned paragraph number five by today. But he's not a robot. His life is filled with events and experiences. He might have felt unwell the day before or been busy (preparing for competitions, playing the piano, going away with his parents). It turns out to be an unpleasant situation: he knows the multiplication table by heart, but the teacher did not find exercise number twenty in his notebook. The high performance of “high achievers” is the cost of the imperfect school system, which forces the child to be in constant stress throughout all the years of school.
So, deuce
I must say, this assessment is a terrible thing. However, setting a child the task of avoiding failures at all costs is a more than dubious goal; it is constant nervous tension.
A grade of two is, perhaps, the first serious test that befalls a child, the first test of his vitality. To be honest, few people pass this test with dignity. Even an adult who has graduated from school, a technical school and two universities receives mental trauma if he fails to pass the exam at a driving school. What can we say about a child for whom a grade is something like a certificate of the quality of his personality! “Five” in the perception of a child means: “I am good, smart, beautiful, this world accepts me.” “Two points” kills on the spot: “I’m bad, I’m a loser, they don’t love me, the world rejects me.” Unfortunately, the school practices public grading. The child is shamed in front of the whole class: “Three cannot be taken away from seven!” No, look at him! Well? How much will?" "Two!" - the kid says hesitantly. “Here, I’ll give you two too!” - the teacher announces.
Or another well-known situation. The child is called to the board to answer. Trying to collect his thoughts, he is silent for a minute. “Thank you for the detailed story!” - The teacher grins sarcastically.
The class laughs in delight. Having received a bad mark, the child returns to his place, and everyone looks closely at the expression on his face. Will she cry? Will he smile a crooked smile, hiding despair? It is indecent to cry - they will laugh! Usually children blush and lower their eyes. They want to quickly hide, get lost among their peers, and not attract attention to themselves. I must say that after a bad grade, the child sits for the next fifteen minutes, or even the entire lesson, in a daze, does not hear anything, does not understand, and automatically copies from the board.
The shame was public, and now with his behavior the student seeks to prove that grades are not the main thing. An unsatisfactory grade is detrimental to further learning.
Remember the consequences
How to prepare your child for a possible bad grade and how to react if he has already received one. What should I do to prevent the loss of interest in studying, the loss of self-esteem, and the development of persistent resentment towards the teacher? “But mine doesn’t worry about bad grades at all!” - someone will say. Yes, the sensations eventually become dull. Indifference to grades comes with the realization that nothing good can shine in the sphere of educational activity and it is necessary to establish oneself in some other way. Such a child tries to gain authority in a dubious courtyard company, demonstrates strength, is deliberately proud of the well-being of the family, or strives for power over younger and weaker ones.
It is a great success if he compensates for the moral damage caused by twos by completely devoting himself to creativity or sports. Usually he himself gives up on his intellect. If at the same time his parents attach special importance to intellectual development, call the child stupid for failing him and show hostility, then he will soon move away from them and become indifferent to their words. A bad grade can not only interfere with your studies, but also destroy family relationships.
Assessments (according to the prevailing stereotype of perception) are a confirmation of the primary “social status” of the child, a kind of indicator of which social stratum he will belong to.
In kindergarten, everyone was equal, and at school the future is already outlined: excellent student = college = career = management position; poor student = unskilled labor = humiliation = hatred of the intelligentsia. As a result, the child may completely deny spiritual ideals - to spite the teacher, that same evil representative of the intelligentsia who supposedly carries “eternal spiritual values” and humiliates the child with two grades because he did not have time to memorize them on time.
The impact of twos on the psychology of children has not yet been sufficiently studied. The problem can hide many pitfalls. Perhaps the schools of the future will abandon such straightforward assessments and try not to clip the children’s wings. But now twos are legalized, and our children have to live with them and resist them.
The most likely causes of twos
- Errors, misunderstanding of material
Sometimes the result can be negative. Parents should say: “Let the twos correct the course of your thoughts, and not upset you!”
- Indifference to studies, laziness
The situation is difficult - there is no motivation to study. A consequence of mutual misunderstanding with the teacher, a bad program, or missing material. You should find out what the matter is and try to create motivation for the child, at least by explaining the direct connection between academic success and future well-being, as is practiced in the West. A person must be able to work, withstand competition, and endure failures.
- Failure in the literal sense of the learning process goes quickly, not all children can keep up with it. No sooner have you completed the letters than you need to read fluently, etc. Fs are possible due to insufficient speed of work. Phlegmatic people are unlucky: they are often capable, but slow. Temperament, as we know, cannot be changed, so the teacher must be warned that the child will prove himself more likely in difficult homework than in a quick survey.
- The program is too complex
Often parents make excessive demands on their child, send him to a prestigious lyceum with many difficult subjects, and send him to school too early. After classes, the child has a headache, he is tired and nervous. “In this lyceum you have to suffer all evening to get at least a C!” - then the parents worry. You should choose a school where studying, although difficult, is enjoyable, where difficulties are completely surmountable and you can get A’s with adequate effort.
- F's are not for knowledge
There are deuces because of behavior. There are character traits that “contribute” to getting a bad grade: absent-mindedness, inattention, thoughtfulness, self-doubt, anxiety. Helping the child become confident, strong, collected - this is the task of the parents in this case.
- Conflict with teacher
A teacher can cause both love for a subject and hatred. A lot depends on the relationship between the child and the teacher. The teacher does not always give grades objectively, and the child, even with good knowledge, may be afraid to answer the lesson. If it turns out that grades are influenced not only by knowledge, but also by the relationship with the teacher, parents should meet with the teacher more often, showing that they know what is happening and are ready to defend the rights of the child. You should not allow the teacher to dictate your will, you should try to establish a cooperative relationship - for the sake of the child. There are cases of obvious incompatibility between teacher and student. If such a situation arises in a primary school, it is better to transfer the child to another class.
- Accident
A certain percentage of random twos is always acceptable, as long as it does not exceed the norm.
- Conscious refusal to learn
Some children, having decided that they will not become engineers, may refuse to study mathematics, chemistry, etc. In this case, we need to talk about the benefits of general education, that even purely humanitarian professions (journalist, psychologist, lawyer) will benefit from technical knowledge invaluable.
When you look at the diary, pay maximum attention to positive assessments. You can remain indifferent to twos. Just ask: “Why are there not enough A’s? If you don’t know something, I will help you!” If the parent is not very well versed, for example, in intricate chemistry and is unlikely to be able to help, he can, on the contrary, ask the child: “Come on, I’ll sit with you, and you will explain the new material to me. I'd like to know that too." In short, pay more attention to scientific truth, not to estimates! If you discuss a bad grade with a child, then speak in a businesslike manner, without emotion. You can’t draw generalized conclusions from two, such as “you’re a fool” or “you don’t know physics.” On the contrary, it is necessary to localize the area for which the estimate was obtained as accurately as possible: physics - mechanics - Newton's second law. It is this second Newton’s law with all the variants of problems that must be properly studied and understood.
You should explain to the child that even with his good intelligence, failures can still happen and you need to be able to calmly correct them, and not fall into panic or rage. The ability to courageously overcome difficulties and not give up is very useful for later life.
Faced with the fact that their beloved child begins to regularly carry “twos” and “threes,” few adults really think about how to correct the situation. The only right decision, as most parents believe, lies on the surface: scold, and that’s all! Look, next time he will be more diligent. Unfortunately, this approach often leads to the exact opposite result: a child who was scolded at all costs for an accidental “D” does not begin to study better, but, on the contrary, completely neglects his studies, and sometimes can even become aggressive. Parents, sincerely perplexed, often begin to put even more pressure on their offspring - needless to say, this only aggravates the situation?
On the other hand, it’s also impossible to completely ignore a child’s bad grades - a relaxed child will realize in the blink of an eye that the parents have given up. Subsequently, it is very difficult to “reeducate” such a child: if you did not pay attention to your student’s diary for several years, but after some time you began to demand good grades from him, it will not be possible to force a child who is accustomed to “forgetting” to study. We did a little research and found out why you should never scold a child for bad grades. You can find out the reasons by reading our article.
Reason one: grades do not characterize a person
The grades your child receives can tell a lot of things, but not the kind of person he really is. Characterizing a person by paying attention only to his grades is very stupid, but, unfortunately, this is exactly what most parents “suffer” from: in an attempt to reason with their child, they begin to compare his successes with the achievements of some excellent student. Such a comparison makes the child feel bad (since he cannot achieve the same thing that the hypothetical Vasya Ivanov achieved) and devalues his own successes. You should never scold your child just because he received what you think is an inappropriate grade, also for the reason that the grade may not reflect real knowledge: there are often cases, for example, when a teacher deliberately underestimates the grades of children whose parents did not hand over money on time (or did not hand over at all, although this is not necessary) for classroom needs. Unfortunately, most schools are still very, very far from objectively assessing the abilities of each child, and therefore you should not get hung up on grades: in most cases, they still do not reflect reality.
Reason two: your child may think that you are only interested in grades
If you scold your child for not giving a very good grade, or, on the contrary, praise your child for a high result noted in the diary, there is a risk that the child will think that you are only interested in school success. Every child wants to be loved, no matter what progress he makes at school. By scolding your child for bad grades, you, of course, can ensure that he becomes a better student. However, you run the risk of provoking in your child the development of so-called childhood perfectionism, or excellent student syndrome: it will subsequently be quite difficult to get rid of it.
Reason three: scolding your child for bad grades, you kill the motivation to study better
For some reason, many parents think that the fear that a child experiences, afraid of getting a bad grade, is an excellent motivation that makes him study better. Maybe in some cases such “motivation” will work, and for some time you will even be able to observe a series of A’s and B’s in your student’s diary. Fortunately or unfortunately, in most cases, parents' threats do not lead to anything good: it will not be possible to force a child to study better just by scolding him for bad grades. Alas, most likely you will have to observe an outcome completely different from what you expected: the child will simply lose the remnants of motivation that could encourage him to study better. Punishment in this case becomes meaningless, useless and even harmful: you not only did not achieve what you wanted, but also worsened an already deplorable situation.
Yes, about anything - that the child already knows the program, that this subject is not interesting to him, that it is poorly taught...
Yes, about anything - that the child already knows the program, that this subject is not interesting to him, that it is poorly taught... But definitely not about the real level of knowledge.
There is a school stereotype: to succeed in life, you need to be an excellent student, or at least a good student. On the other hand, we hear the names of famous personalities who were poor students: Winston Churchill, Bill Gates, Alexander Pushkin, finally.
Today we will talk about the first meeting of “MythBusters” with experts and psychologists, parents and schoolchildren, which was held by career guidance service "Profilum" to understand : What should schools and parents do with C students?
Parents' attitudes toward the grades their children receive at school are ambiguous. Some people think that C grades are bad, others are confident that C students will make up the future creative class. Schoolchildren are often told that bad grades, including Cs, will become an obstacle in life: you will do poorly on the Unified State Exam, you will not get into a good university, and it is unclear how you will live in the future. Is it really?
Stories of two Dimas
Dima, graduated from school several years ago:
In middle and elementary school, everything was very smooth, but in high school, teachers and parents had great difficulty in explaining how this or that knowledge would be useful to me in the future. To any questions they answered me “this will be needed at the university” or “this is necessary.” Fortunately, my high school was specialized; we were taught programming and algorithms at the 1st-2nd year university level. These subjects were taught by a specialist from a real company, and it was very easy for me to work with him, I understood why all this was needed. There was also useless knowledge, for example, in geography we studied the economy of Sudan. Why do I need it?
Second-grader Dima doesn’t like anything at school at all, and that’s why he goes to school “so as not to upset his mother.”
Mom of second-grader Dima:
I transferred my son to another class where the tasks are less. But, unfortunately, Dima lost the desire to study, because the class was much weaker, and the program had already been completed. We partially solved the problem of interest in learning through playful learning at home. Dima learns everything very well in a playful way.
The role of school is changing
These are just two examples of why children can get bad grades, including compromised Cs. School grades are only an indirect indicator of knowledge. The real problem is the lack of motivation to learn the material. In this case, parents are looking for an opportunity to give their child the best education and to approach this issue in a non-standard way.
Mark Sartan, Head of the Center for the Development of Educational Systems "Smart School"
The school must respond to parents' requests. Do we have a choice today about which school to send our children to? Actually no! Therefore, parents have to complete what teachers could not. But the very fact that parents are asking the question “what to do?” if the child has “bad grades” suggests that the problem can be solved.
The role of school in people's lives has changed over the years. Previously, those who could not cope were sent “to Kamchatka” and then expelled from school. Today, a child cannot even be left for the second year, although some parents even ask for this for educational purposes.
Lyudmila Petranovskaya,
The chances of people who can only sit still and perform simple algorithmic operations turn out to be zero, since machines today are already more efficient than people in many aspects. Schoolchildren need a new approach, new knowledge. At the same time, the problem of delayed pedagogical results, when a student does not understand why he is given this or that knowledge, is compensated by grades that replace motivation. But a generation of digital natives who are learning to use touchscreens before they can speak, and are into e-sports and vlogging, needs a completely different approach. Unlike previous generations, they may ask questions: “Why do I need this?”, and trying to force them to study with bad grades is almost useless.
Nina Dobrynchenko-Matusevich, leader of the Parents League, active mother of three children
Today, education is no longer a social elevator and cannot get anyone anywhere on its own. People are aware of this situation, but they react in the old fashioned way. They propose to return the education system that helped us and our parents, only to make it stronger and better. Instead, we need to create new formats for teaching and assessing acquired knowledge.
Statistics show that Russian estimates are greatly divorced from reality. If in the USA, each grade in school gives a 7% increase in salary, then in Russia there is a decrease in salary by 7% with an increase in the average score - due to a career bias in the academic environment, where the salary level is lower. In our country, work experience is more important. As HSE research has shown, if a person worked somewhere during his studies, his salary is 33% higher. However, working while studying, as a rule, does not affect academic performance.
Assessment corrupts both the school and the education system
In general, as psychologists note, grades often turn into a leitmotif: in most cases, no one is interested in what the child really knows - what matters is what grades he brings.
Maria Voloshina, practicing psychologist in the education system
Choosing a teacher for a child is an almost inaccessible option. It is important to understand how to support a parent and child in reality. The help of a school psychologist for a parent is to help him “unstick” the assessment from the child. Help a parent understand what his child is like, what he is good at? - such questions confuse parents. It’s good when a parent sits down with their child and begins to figure it out, sees progress, and works on mistakes.
For assessments to be objective, there must be clear criteria so that the result can be understood and challenged. For example, in Western countries, colleges are ranked according to the average salaries of graduates; applicants are well aware of the score they need to score at school, and this allows us to talk about the balanced role of grades in a person’s life.
Lyudmila Petranovskaya, psychologist, blogger, author of several books, founder of the Institute for the Development of Family Structure
In a psychological context, we must understand that when using assessment to express a subjective attitude, the fear of a bad assessment of the child is inevitably formed. It is necessary to separate the wheat from the chaff, to evaluate a person’s actions, knowledge, and actions from the assessment of the person himself. Teachers must evaluate children's specific actions within the educational process. It is necessary to evaluate how the child learns, how he communicates with the outside world.
What should the score be?
To ensure that assessment does not become a limiting factor in a child’s development, parents, teachers and children themselves need to change their attitude towards mistakes, since they are an element of the natural stage of learning. According to psychologists, there are three levels of motivation: passion, coping, and avoidance. And if today a “three” can form precisely a pattern of avoidance in a person, we need to work in every possible way to ensure that such a mark stimulates overcoming, and even better, enthusiastic study of the subject.
Vitaly Altukhov, Head of Development and Research Department "Profilum"
School evaluation is too general and relative. It does not allow one to judge the child's real potential. To reveal it, you need to use additional metrics - to assess the child’s real interests and abilities, and also to identify talents that may not appear at school. Our technology allows us to comprehensively assess a child’s potential, identify his true talents, and selects specific options for professions, optimal extracurricular courses and career trajectories for them.published
What to do if your child gets a bad grade, and how to properly motivate him to do well in his studies. Recommendations from a psychologist.
Marina, is it necessary to explain to your child about the school grading system that “five” is good and “two” is bad?
If there is a grading system at school, and especially if it is adopted in elementary school, then, of course, you need to talk about it with the child. Explain to him in what cases and for what he can receive this or that assessment. It is important that the child does not form such a negative connection: “if I have bad grades, then I am bad.”
In a traditional Russian school, assessment is a public act. The whole class, or even the whole school, knows what grades a particular child achieves. And very often, especially in primary school, grades are a measure of the child’s personality as a whole, when labels like “C” or “excellent student” indicate the child’s abilities in principle. They are also a filter in the process of adaptation of the child both in the group of peers and in the teaching community. And this prism is the main one in the school environment. The fact that a child’s speed of perception of material is lower than others, for example, or due to his choleric temperament it is difficult for him to concentrate on a task - all these nuances will be taken into account in the very last place.
Often, schools do not take into account the dynamic processes in a student’s development. At the beginning of the year, the child could show far from the best results, but by the end of the quarter his performance became higher, but the overall score when calculating the quarter mark will not take this progress into account - initial low grades, especially in large numbers, will devalue the final high grades.
Therefore, the child, of course, must know that he must strive to get good grades in order to be successful in the future. But bad grades should not be interpreted as ignorance, carelessness and laziness.
ChildI got a bad grade. Is it worth punishing?
Do not do this. Motivation for progress and achievement must be positive. If there is a bad grade, it means you need to try harder to improve the result. Punishing a child for a bad grade, for example, by depriving him of walks, games or communication with friends, his motivation will be negative. It creates either fear or nihilism. In case of fear, the child will be afraid to take the initiative. This can be implemented like this: for example, one problem may have several solutions, but even if your child has them, he will remain silent or use the only acceptable answer because he will be afraid of making a mistake. In the case of nihilism, aggression and aversion to learning arise, the child will think like this: “if I have a bad grade, then I will do badly in everything.”
Let your child understand that a bad grade is just a reason to further improve the result. It’s like in sports, where a loss or a missed goal is not a failure, but another training session and a step towards a new achievement, victory. This is exactly the attitude a child should have toward a teacher’s grades.
If every bad assessment is followed by its analysis, and in the connotation of a positive outcome, then they will be avoided faster. Because the child who brought a bad mark will know that he can explain to the parent why this happened, why the bad mark was given, and where he misunderstood the material. The student will have a feeling of security, not fear. The task of parents and teachers is to provide such a safe space for the student and, first of all, the elementary school student.
Is your child afraid of getting a bad grade or very nervous before tests? What to do?
If a child is afraid of bad grades, most likely, parents have already played their “role” here, “loading” the child with their expectations and unspoken demands.
There is no need to make your child an extension of your own success! Become your child's friend! Each assessment requires support, care, the child must know that he has a safe place and this place is his family.
If your child is nervous before a test, tell a story about yourself, about how you went to tests, how you passed exams, that you, too, were sometimes scared and excited, just like he is now. And very often the tests ended successfully, because there was enough knowledge, just like your child. But when you got a bad grade, you always had a chance to improve it. And the child also has this chance. This identification is important in this case, it provides support for your student.
There is nothing good in the fact that a child is constantly afraid of getting a bad grade. The psyche of a child who is threatened with a bad grade will include protective mechanisms in the face of parental and teacher rejection. And this is a normal mental function. However, the protection itself will not be the best. One option is an endless feeling of guilt for a bad grade and dissatisfaction with oneself, which as a result can lead to the identity of an inferior person. The second option is to develop such a quality as slyness, silence, popularly called lying. To avoid punishment (provided, of course, that he is being punished for bad grades), the child will lie. There is a third option. To prove that he is good, a student, having received a bad grade, will take the path of perfectionism and focus only on his homework. The result can be impressive, provided that the child has a strong ego and is able to withstand failure. But in a primary school, which instills in the child knowledge about himself through grades, this is not typical. In addition, all three options are united by a common feeling - a feeling of fear, which in adult life develops into background anxiety and becomes one of the components of neurotic states. For some, this is practically unnoticeable, but for others who were unlucky with a teacher in childhood, they will be very sensitive to the disturbing effect on the psyche.
Is it necessary to praise for “A” grades?
Of course, you need to praise for A's. But don’t overdo it with comments like “you’re the best”, “you know everything”, etc. Do not create a cult of “A”, when “A” is good, and everything else is below the bar and does not deserve praise, then a “bad” grade will not become a tragedy for the child.
If a child receives excellent grades, this is a reason for pride, first of all, for the parents. They are the ones who can influence the development of the so-called excellent student syndrome. Children's perfectionism is a very severe neurosis for a child, but a child falls into it with the direct assistance of an adult. As a rule, such a child is initially loaded with high parental expectations. The only way to justify them is to be good at everything, to become an excellent student, to win even at something other than your own game. If this does not happen, then the child feels unworthy and unnecessary to his parents.
First of all, let your child know that you are praising him not for the grades he receives, but for the fact that he strives for knowledge and shows interest in learning something. And there is no harm in the fact that at some point the child shows less curiosity about the subject and does not receive excellent grades for it.
The child believes that the teacher was unfair to him and lowered his grade. How to proceed?
Analyze the situation, find out why the teacher gave such a grade. When you talk to your child about his grades, you are showing him your support. But it is also important not to lower the authority of the teacher in the eyes of the child. Therefore, it is worth taking not the position of your child’s parent, but the position of a teacher. Because often, from the position of a parent, we have one desire - to protect the child. If there really is injustice in the mark, then it is worth discussing this with the teacher.
In the photo: painting by F.P. Reshetnikov. "A deuce again"
Each of us sooner or later faces a situation of such failure. “Sit down, two!” — the teacher makes his verdict. And it is often unclear, what to do next? Our thoughts are confused, overwhelmed by emotions, and as a result, our actions may not be reasonable. Let's try to figure out what it would make sense to do when we get a bad grade (for brevity, let's call it a “two”, although everyone has their own definition of “bad”, and it can be a grade from 1 to 4).
So, the first thing we face is our own self-esteem. Sometimes it decreases significantly as soon as we get a deuce. Therefore, at the first moment after receiving a bad mark, it is important to stop yourself for a second and remind yourself of a very simple thing. A bad grade doesn't make you worse. Don't become stupid because you couldn't solve a problem, don't become more unpleasant because you didn't learn the rules and exceptions, don't become unworthy because you can't write the formula for a legume flower. A poor rating only reflects ineffectiveness in a particular activity. Essentially, it's a pointer to remind you of which areas of knowledge you need to pay a little more attention to.
Let's say you calmed down and were able to come to your senses. And at this moment the next question arises - how will the parents react. Quite often, the thought automatically arises: “my parents will kill me.”
It makes sense to look at the situation a little more objectively. To make this easier, try to remember how your parents reacted to bad grades the last time. In any case, they will not kill you. Yes, your parents are unlikely to be happy and are unlikely to reward you for a well-deserved bad mark. Most likely, they will express their displeasure in one way or another, perhaps punishing you in some way.
Therefore, the next thought that usually tempts us is “not to tell our parents anything.” The idea is as tempting as it is ineffective. Anyone who has tried to hide something probably already knows that sooner or later everything will become known to their parents. And if before this they would have been upset exclusively by bad grades, now this will also be mixed with unpleasant experiences associated with your deception - as a result, the punishment may be more severe, and trust in you will be undermined. Another disadvantage is that by hiding your marks, you become a victim of accidents. You can be discovered at any second, and most often this happens at the most inopportune moment. When you talk about your school difficulties on your own, you have the opportunity to mentally prepare, and sometimes choose the right time for such a conversation. Sometimes another illusion arises - the thought that you can handle everything yourself. Following her, you take a risk - because sometimes problems grow like a snowball. It will be much easier for you to prevent various difficulties together with your parents than to try to somehow cope with a situation when you are mired in debt, and your parents are angry with you because what was happening was hidden for too long.
So, we gathered our strength and are ready to tell our parents about our failure. What's the best way to do this? Each of you knows your parents well and will probably be able to choose a time when they will be in a fairly good mood. If you are still very scared, start a conversation with the parent with whom you have a more trusting relationship. What should I say?
“I got a two because I was distracted a lot on the test” - “I’ll be focused on the next test.”
“I got a bad grade because I missed this topic and didn’t understand everything” - “Now I will try to fully understand this topic so as not to find myself in such a situation again”
“I didn’t pass the test because I didn’t study” - “Now before the test I sit down to study even more seriously”
“The teacher lowered my grade” - “I will try to improve relations with the teacher or at least find out what it takes to get good grades”
All of these tips can help you feel more comfortable and free to talk about bad grades, but all this will be useless if you yourself do not take concrete actions to improve your performance. It is important that your plan moves from words to action, then you will have to talk about your deuces much less often.
Let's summarize. When we receive a bad grade, we:
- Letting ourselves calm down
- We are mentally preparing to tell our parents about our difficulties.
- Discussing the situation with parents
- Taking concrete steps to improve our performance
Good luck in your studies.
Sergey Elkhimov,
